Sakura thinks that Sasuke's tough guy act is hilarious.
The way he grumbles, pushes at his paperwork, gets real pouty and…
Fuck, it's cute.
Sakura hates Sasuke's baby fat. She hates his big eyes. She hates his soft, fluffy hair. She hates the way that even when he's pouting, he looks good. It's not fair, not at all. For one man to just be effortlessly pretty—it's terrible. She hates it and she hates looking at him.
But she likes working with him because it's her only opportunity to dunk on him.
"This is ridiculous, you realize that don't you?"
Sakura coughs into her fist, rolling her eyes. "And just what do you mean by that, Sasuke?"
She says it in this sing-song voice that's annoyed him since they were kids because, at this point, she thinks he deserves to be annoyed by her.
"I mean that this is a waste of time," he responds, flatly.
"Oh, it's a waste of time to find out who's intruding on your girlfriend's home? Laying traps for her cousin? That seems like a pretty serious issue."
"You're kidding me, right?" Sakura turns her nose up at his accusatory tone. "This is clearly a prank."
"I am so sorry, Sasuke," Sakura laments, very sarcastically, "sometimes us police officers actually have to do work. The worst, isn't it?"
"Seriously?"
She ignores his scowl. "You pretend like all this is a game, but it's not! We have serious jobs, I know you spend all your time at the desk, but—"
"Not by my choice!"
"BUT!" Sakura exclaims, stomping her foot to get him to stop talking. "But it's our job to protect our citizens. Neji is a citizen with a valid complaint."
"It's his baby cousin pranking him—"
"So, we should seek out Hanabi and arrest her then? Hinata's little sister?"
Sakura sneers at Sasuke. She really doesn't like the way his scowl looks good on him. "We're not arresting someone for a prank."
"Only 3 more trips to go!" Sakura darts her eyes up at a familiar voice. Tenten is guiding her marching genin down the road, each carrying a hefty amount of weight. "It's strength training! You'll be thanking me later when you get your hands on some amazing sword, like the Executioner's Blade! Swinging it around like it's an aluminum bat!"
"Hey, Tenten!" Sakura calls and Sasuke groans next to her. She doesn't even bother to shoot him a look this time. He does follow her as she approaches Tenten, which she appreciates.
"Ah, what's up Sakura?" Tenten asks, diverting her attention away from the genin who all are quietly grumbling something about wishing they had Shino for a sensei.
"Have you seen anything suspicious around the Hyūga compound?" Sakura asks. "Or heard from any of your genin about pranks going on there?"
"Pranking the Hyūga?" Tenten asks, tapping her lips. "Can't say I have. Someone prank Hinata or something?"
Sakura glances at Sasuke who purses his lips, shaking his head. "Hanabi played a prank on Neji."
"We don't know—"
"Neji's back?!" Tenten exclaims, wide-eyed. "Since when?"
"This morning?" Sasuke shrugs. "Or last night? No clue. Hinata never mentioned it, so I assume it's recent."
"He…he didn't come to see me?" Tenten's upper lip quivers, slightly. Sakura furrows her eyebrows, reaching out to set a hand on her shoulder.
"He's a busy guy, Tenten," she tries to comfort. "You know how Lee is, Neji's probably busy fixing all of the chaos Lee's unleashed on the village."
"Chaos aided by a certain someone," Sasuke says under his breath from beside her. Sakura and Tenten both give him a look.
"Everyone knows it's your girlfriend's dad responsible for loaning out piles of cash to Lee," Sakura quips, and Tenten snickers.
"Not my business." Sasuke shrugs again.
Sakura knows that it absolutely is his business but decides not to push it. Just looks back at Tenten, who looks like she's trying not to cry. She just frowns because she doesn't think Neji is worth crying about, completely confused as to what Tenten sees in him. He's too much like Sasuke, but at least she finds Sasuke attractive. They're both hardheaded, snippy and think they're better than everyone else.
That's why she's with Shino, she thinks. He's softer, more willing to listen, doesn't talk a whole bunch. That's the part she likes best, that he's quiet. Constantly surrounded by people who won't shut up, Sakura finds peace with Shino. Even if she is a little unsettled when he speaks to his bugs, at least it's quiet.
"Anyway, Sakura." Tenten wipes at her nose, clearly trying to hold it together. It reminds her of when she found out on her 20th birthday that Sasuke and Hinata were an item. Now she's growing into her 20s and doesn't think there's any man worth this reaction. "Uhm, Kiba likes to play pranks. Maybe you should ask him?"
"Aren't you seeing each other?" Sasuke asks, suspicion in his voice.
"I didn't know you were the village gossip," Sakura snaps back. "Maybe we should start inviting you to tea, huh?"
"Yeah, Sasuke." Tenten laughs a little, eyeing him. His face is the picture of confusion. "Didn't know you were keeping up on village romance."
"Whatever," Sasuke sighs. "Let's just go find him. Even though it's not him, you're going to insist and I'm just tired of it."
Well, that's no fun.
"Thanks for your help, Tenten." Sakura leans in to whisper, "we can talk more about it on Friday for tea."
"Yeah." Tenten sighs, waving at them as they begin their trek.
Sakura's pretty sure Sasuke already knows what 'tea on Fridays' means because Hinata probably told him at some point or another, but she must at least try not to let the whole village know that 4 kunoichi (and 1 male shinobi) are meeting weekly to discuss everyone's business. The only time Sakura feels like she can relax lately is in the comfort of the Akimichi's Barbeque Diner. For a barbeque place, it's actually got a fairly modern, hip vibe to it, just with the smell of a smoker. She just hopes after their break from tea brings forth juicier gossip than last time.
"Inuzuka compounds this way." Sasuke nudges his head while Sakura shakes hers.
"Guess you don't know as much as you thought," she quips, feeling satisfied with his frown. "He's on guard duty 'til 3."
"I have never once in my life cared to memorize the schedule of an Inuzuka," he says, flatly, just typical Sasuke. She huffs because his effortlessly unaffected voice while simultaneously insulting her in an underhanded way really gets under her skin. Thinks that if Shino said something like that to her, as if she was crazy for knowing other people's daily routines, she'd probably cry. But at least he would care and try to comfort her somehow, not meant for it to be an insult.
"Kiba!" Sakura shouts with her hands cupped around her mouth. See's him poke his head out from the top of the tower.
"What is it?" Kiba calls back, standing up now to rest his arms on the edge of the fencing. Sakura starts climbing the ladder, looking back at Sasuke expectantly, who is staring off in the distance.
"Earth to Sasuke."
"I'm not going," he tells her, coolly. "This is your insane mission. I'm just along for the ride."
"Lazy," Sakura spits, shaking her head as she continues up. "Hinata clearly has a type."
It's a harsh statement to make and she catches the electricity that sparks between his fingers when she says it. He'd never do anything, so she just hums to herself as she continues up the ladder, satisfied that she finally got under his skin. No one likes to be reminded of their partners' exes, especially being compared to them. Shikamaru and Sasuke had never been friendly in the past, but since Sasuke and Hinata started dating, things became tense between them. It's one of the few things Sakura can rub his nose in.
Once she gets to the top, she's greeted with Kiba leaning on his back against the fencing, hands clasped behind his neck. "What's up, Officer Haruno?"
Sakura actually doesn't mind Kiba. He minds his own business, says hi whenever he passes by, and Akamaru being adorable doesn't hurt either. If she actually thought Kiba had done the prank, she'd feel bad having to confront him right now. Of course, she's not an idiot. She knows who did it.
"Just investigating an attack," she says, and he straightens up immediately. She waves her hand. "Attack might be a strong word. A prank, rather."
"I haven't pranked anyone," he responds, quickly, looking guilty.
"It was on Neji."
"Neji's back?" Sakura instantly feels a little pang of guilt now, realizing this can't be good news for Kiba. The little shake in his voice is so pathetic it's almost cute. She has a hard time feeling too bad, though, because Kiba should know better.
Whatever's going on between him, Tenten, and Neji, it's messy.
Tea Friday can't come fast enough.
A/N: Thanks to anyone patiently waiting for this fic. I'm working on SasuHina month so everything got put on the back burner, but I got a sudden wind of inspiration for this fic so here's Sakura doing her best to ruin Sasuke's happiness.