Chapter 4: Poker Row
Just when he thought the depravity of the exorcists couldn't sink even lower, Bookman Jr just had to suggest a poker match. As Link stood at the edge of a circle of card players, most of them in some state of underdress or another, he couldn't help but wonder why they all subjected themselves to such humiliation when it was clear Walker was cheating. However, no one had said this out loud nor had anyone confronted the white-haired card shark, even when he inexplicably ended up with all the good cards in every single hand dealt.
They were in the mess hall, arranged in a circle on the stone floor, cards in hand and a growing pile of clothes behind Walker, who was smiling like a child at a carnival. The remainder of the players, Bookman Jr, Lord Krory, Han, and Kanda—the latter was a huge surprise—were frowning at their cards in concentration so deep it was almost comical.
"So who's winning?" Asked a soft voice to his left. Startled, Link turned to find Miss Lee standing beside him, holding a book to her chest and surveying the scene with a light smile. "Let me guess: it's Allen."
"Through fraudulent means, yes." He nodded and returned his attention to the card players.
The young lady shrugged her shoulders and broadened her smile. "Well, cut him a break. This is his…habit, I suppose. Besides, he's getting a run for his money now."
"How's that?" Link frowned, and as soon as the query left his lips, Bookman Jr. presented a royal flush with a flourish and a cheeky grin. Kanda and Han had folded, while Krory and Walker…Walker had dropped his grin and now wore a disconcerted look on his face. One reminder that rules were rules later, and his charge removed the tie around his neck and added it to the pile. Krory did the same with his vest. Link turned to Miss Lee. "You know something."
"They know full well what Allen's doing, so Krory, Kanda, and Lavi have formed a three-man team to give him a taste of his own medicine, and it appears their efforts are having some effect."
"Then what about Mr. Han?"
Miss Lee frowned. "Honestly, I think Chaoji walked in on this without having any idea what was going on. That or he's the decoy."
"I see." Link nodded as Kanda began dealing cards, and this time, he noticed the small mirror hidden next to his foot, revealing to the exorcist who was getting which cards. Walker noticed it, too, and his disconcerted expression became one of renewed determination, a slight smile crossing his face as he silently accepted the others' challenge. "Do they have to play here, though? I'm not opposed to men playing cards, but strip poker in broad daylight in the middle of the mess hall? What if a lady should walk in and see this?"
"I'm a lady."
"My apologies," He shot her a wry smile. "I was referring to more delicate women who haven't been roughhousing with adolescent males since they were children."
"Well," Miss Lee giggled, but then Walker suddenly lay down his cards, claiming the winning hand. "Allen, you just called your third full house in a row. You're not even trying to hide it anymore."
"What are you talking about?" The young man laughed sheepishly. "That was pure luck this time, I swear."
"Bullshit, Sprout!" Kanda shouted, throwing his second boot at him. He was down to his trousers now.
"Anyway," Miss Lee turned back to Link, "The bathhouse is co-ed on occasion. My brother likes to throw certain substances in the men's bathwater, so when it looks suspicious, the guys just borrow the ladies' room. Works out okay as long as you keep your eyes and hands to yourself."
Well, that certainly explained why he'd seen a pair of male finders leaving the ladies' bathhouse last night. But it still…
He must've been making an amusing face, for the young woman broke into a grin. "That was joke. Don't worry, we've got an unofficial established schedule handy for taking turns when stuff like that happens."
"All the same," Link let out a long sigh as the cards were dealt again, and he could've sworn he saw Bookman Jr. sliding one up his sleeve. Of all four players against Walker, he was faring the best, having only lost his headband and one boot throughout the game. "I think I'll take care to avoid invading the privacy of the ladies' washroom."
"Whatever makes you feel better." Miss Lee smiled.
They watched the hand in silence for a time, wordlessly catching the moment when Krory passed a hidden card of his own to Bookman Jr., who in turn passed it and his hidden card to Kanda. Wagers were placed, cards were flipped; clearly, they had formulated a plan of sorts, but it was all for naught when Walker laid out four of a kind and caught them all off guard.
"Christ." Bookman Jr. peeled off his shirt and threw it at his friend. "If we were playing for money, I'd be up to my ears in debt."
"Speak for yourself." Walker retorted, tossing the shirt into the pile. "I'm up to my ears in your laundry."
"That's it." Kanda threw down his cards and stood up to leave. "I'm out. You lot can keep playing."
"Hey, come on, Yu! At least finish the match!"
"Rabbit, I had no idea you were so eager to see me without my pants."
"Allen." Lord Krory said, looking down his nose at the younger man in the most aristocratic and superior way possible, "If I'm stripped down to my polka-dotted undershorts again, I'll break your fingers."
Walker's spine seemed to stiffen at the threat and he turned to his senior in alarm, "You can't—"
"Indeed he can, Walker." Link spoke up. His charge, and everyone present, Kanda including, turned to him. "If you see fit to win at poker using any means necessary, then isn't it only fair you allow others to do the same? If you want to cheat, that's your business. If Krory wants to win using threats, then he's welcome to it."
"Well said." Lord Krory smiled pleasantly at Walker. "Shall we continue then?"
"You're cheating?" Han demanded, prompting Kanda to turn and stare at him in disbelief. "I had a feeling you were, but no one said anything…"
"I swear, whenever you open your mouth…" Kanda grumbled under his breath and conveniently took a seat at the table behind Walker to watch the rest of the game.
Link cracked a small grin. He couldn't help it. Walker took no notice of the snitch behind him, though Timcanpy did and stretched his little mouth in a toothy smile. The remaining players continued, Krory and Bookman Jr now joined by Han, who 'wanted to crush the cheating, little bastard.' All three of them took cues from Kanda, who was cleverly sitting with his back facing away from Walker, feigning disinterest and also also allowing for room to maneuver. Whilst Walker was focused on his cards, so was Kanda. Whenever Allen sensed the extra pair of eyes and turned around to investigate, Kanda was facing the table yet again.
The lady exorcist stifled a giggle. "I take it you didn't want to play, Inspector?"
"Certainly not." He turned to her. "Nor am I particularly fond of card games. I'm much more partial to chess."
"Funny, so is Johnny." Miss Lee smiled as Walker finally caught Kanda in the act, turning around completely to confront him. Meanwhile, Bookman Jr., Lord Krory, and Han dove toward the unattended deck and fished out all the good cards they could find. "Perhaps you two should play a game someday."
"Perhaps, but what of you?" He raised an eyebrow and gestured toward the circle of poker players. "The game isn't over yet. I'm sure they would deal you in if you asked."
"Why, Inspector," The young woman flashed a devilish grin, "I had no idea you were so eager to see me without my clothes."
Immediately regretting this blunder, Link turned away, standing straight to attention even as he felt his face shading red, and stammered, "Th-that was not my intent! Please forgive my poor choice of words, Lady Exorcist!" God help him, and she was an apostle, too. Speaking to her in such a crass manner… "I simply meant—" He cleared his throat. How could he extract himself from this situation with minimal damage? "I thought you would enjoy playing the game as much as watching." Christ, that wasn't any better at all… He risked a glance in her direction and swallowed a nervous lump in his throat.
Miss Lee had a smile on her face. "That was a joke, too. And I'm afraid I'm not too fond of cards either."
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Author's Notes: Pay the card game no mind. I have never played poker, so I did the best I could with a few quick tutorials online.
And to the guest reviewer for Chapter 3, you're absolutely right, and that was the point of that chapter. Showing the Crows are sometimes cruel, but the Exorcists are not always right. (And in their own way, can be worse.) So yes, this view will morph and change as the story progresses, and that chapter will have a follow-up or two later, expressing Lenalee's regret of the way she handled that situation. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
D Gray Man is owned by Katsura Hoshino.