As a slight warning, the end of this chapter is the reason this story is rated M. Specifically, there are references to suicide. It's not explicit... but yeah. Watch out. And if you find the topics distressing, please reach out to those who can help. I'll talk more at the end.

Despite all the time she'd spend on this planet… Strauss had never seen a sight quite like this. The tall mangroves seemed to sprout from the deepest depths of the ocean below, so great and ancient that their roots had grown wide enough to build a house inside. Yet even after all that time, everything was thrumming with life.

Bubbles sprouted everywhere, even from the grass-like moss that made up the Archipelago's 'ground'. And they lingered too. Even when she prodded them curiously. She could even sit on some of them. Though she had only tested them once. She didn't fancy getting too high up with no way down.

It wasn't just nature that thrived. Everywhere she looked there were people of every shape, size, or species that were happily milling about going wherever their fancy took them. She had quickly found herself being herded by a horde of people up into the tourist district, with all the restaurants and shops she could ever imagine. It was almost an assault on the eyes, with bright colours and smells trying to snatch her attention wherever she looked.

The few signs she managed to catch a glimpse of told her that Sabaody Park was just up ahead. It sounded exciting, judging by the shrieks of excitement echoing through the groves. She'd once been jealous of the rides, begging her father to take her on one during one of his tours at the Sabao Dome. She had particularly wanted to go on the carousel...

Turning on her heel, she deliberately marched in the opposite direction of the screams.

She hadn't ridden a carousel then. So she wouldn't now.

After only a few minutes of walking, the atmosphere of the islands changed. What had once been mindless fun turned into something more… savage. The buildings were not as well kept, and there was less mindless chatter and more drunken brawling.

Her grip on her bag tightened.

So this was the lawless area.

For the most part it wasn't as bad as it was made out to be. Having a well garisonned Marine base just to the south meant that she could at least walk down the street without a fear of being robbed. A major fear at least…

Still, she couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable at the eyes that followed her as she went. She had always known it would be tough living in such a rough neighbourhood as a lone female, but it wasn't as if she had any other choice. This was the one area pirates went. Once the Straw Hats managed to reach Sabaody, this is the one place they would have to pass through at some point. And judging by how swiftly their captain's bounty was rising, she had a hunch she'd know when they had arrived.

"Hey doooooooooll-"

Strauss' eyes narrowed as an all-too-friendly arm slung its way over her shoulder.

"-Whaddaya say ya come 'nd play with usssss?" The man hissed as his friends appeared just behind him, all their faces flushed with a mix of booze and lust. "Imma pirate c'ptain y'see? A gotta bountyyyy an' aaaaall. Sssssssso if you c'me wi' usss we'll make sure to treat ya ri-"

Pathetic.

Wham!

With a single fluid movement the so called 'pirate captain' dropped his arm and collapsed to the ground in a heap, huddled around his most tender and sore area. Hopefully never to reproduce again.

"H...hey!" The rest of the pirates shakily raised their weapons, looking anything but intimidating as they swayed around on their feet. "Wh… whaddaya do t'our cap'in?"

Strauss lowered her leg unphased. This wasn't a fight in front of an eager crowd who wanted to be entertained. This was merely an assertion of dominance. Besides, these men were obviously drunk. Any retort would be wasted on them.

All it took was one hit per person and they were out like a light.

Strauss dusted her hands in disgust. Creeps. She knew they were drunk, but how the hell had they managed to make it so far in the Grand Line while being so weak? She'd seen house cats fight better than they had. Though then again…

She flexed her hands experimentally.

That training she'd done with Ace (well, it was more like scrapping when they got on each other's nerves but it was still good experience) had made an impact after all. She was stronger now. Not by much, physical power was still something she had a problem with, but she was faster. A hell of a lot faster. And far more accurate with her hits than she had ever been.

She'd been trying to hit fire after all.

Oh what would Sanji think of her now, she smirked. She'd received a bounty before he had, and her fighting style had gone through a major upheaval. Maybe now he'd let her take care of herself.

Suddenly, so suddenly that she almost jumped, a voice called out from behind her back.

"Excuse me."

The island would be lovely in the winter, was all Sanji could think as he took in the tall mountains of Zhelesk. It was cold here. Not as cold as it would be on one of the Grand Line's Winter Islands, but pretty damn freezing considering it was in the middle of summer. In fact the country seemed built for snow; each house had a sharp sloping roof, jutted out awnings, and was built on high stilts above the ground. He wouldn't be surprised if many people got snowed in each winter.

The town itself was warm. Friendly even. There were so many winding alleyways and small shops selling local crafts that he didn't even know where to start. But Strauss did.

It was clear from the way she walked that she knew this town like the back of her hand. She could turn down an alleyway so fast that Sanji had to speed up just to not loose track of her. There were main streets, but she was sticking to none of them. He never questioned why. It was a miracle she'd even allowed him to go with her, he didn't want to push it.

But even so, he couldn't help but wonder why she was so agitated? It wasn't as if the town was unpleasant. Even the townsfolk themselves were always smiling and ready to please. Whatever had happened to her must be really bad, if she was reacting like this.

Part of him wondered if she was just stalling, making them wander round and round in circles in an effort to put off doing whatever she had to do. It seemed like it, though all the alleyways looked the same to him.

He was just about to open his mouth and complain when Strauss stopped dead in her tracks. It was so sudden that he almost walked straight into her. Stifling his curses, he craned over her to get a better look. To try and see just what she was so shocked by.

A house. Well, more of a mansion than a house. It stood out so dramatically from the quaint and dainty wood cabins of the rural areas. No, this building was made of a fine red brick, with eloquent stonework lining the walls. It looked so… out of place compared to the rest. Like someone had taken the building from another island entirely and just tossed it into place among the rest of the village.

Not that it was ugly or anything. Just… odd.

By the time that he had got his thoughts together Strauss was already gone, halfway across the open square the building was placed on.

He gritted his teeth- "Hey! Strauss!"- and jogged after her. As he caught up, he gently nudged her shoulder, "Don't leave me like that. You might know your way around here but I sure as hell don't." She didn't respond. Sanji's brow furrowed. "Strauss?"

It was like she couldn't hear him. He even waved a hand in front of her eyes but they just stared glassily past. At that moment he didn't exist for her. He didn't exist, while that building definitely did.

He glanced over the building a final time, checking to see if there was something he missed. But no. It was just a building in his eyes, if not a little weirdly designed. But the way Strauss was gazing at it made it seem almost… No he couldn't read her. There were so many things swimming around in Strauss' eyes that it made it impossible to tell what exactly she was feeling.

Familiarity. Agony. Joy. Bitterness.

Despair.

It was mostly despair.

He put a hand on her shoulder, giving a light squeeze. "Strauss?"

"Huh?" Snapping out of her trance she blinked rapidly, confused by the sudden snap back to reality. "Oh. Sanji. Sorry about that. I was just… thinking," she finished, trailing off a little towards the end.

"It's fine." He stared up at the building, then back at Strauss. "Do you want to tell me what this is to you?"

She faltered. "I dunno…"

"Look." Sanji spun her to face him, crouching down slightly so they were at eye level. She may have had a growth spurt after working through her malnutrition, but for once Sanji found himself grateful that he was still slightly taller than her. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But I travelled here with you to show you I care. I can carry your pain with you."

Her lips pursed. "That's rich, coming from someone who doesn't tell me anything about themselves. But…" She sucked in a breath, right when Sanji was about to retort, and let it all out slowly. "Fine. It'll be good to have it out. And at least I know you won't do something as stupid as pity me." She narrowed her eyes. "It goes without saying, but you won't tell anyone. Right?"

"Of course I won't." Sanji reached down to entwine his hand in hers. "I'll take whatever you say to me to the grave."

"No!"

He recoiled as a finger got brandished in his face.

"Don't you even dare joking about something like that!" She hissed, but Sanji couldn't help but realise that her hand was shaking. And she hadn't immediately tugged away from him like she normally would have. "Don't… you… dare joke about dying on me… Don't you dare… I… I can't..."

His heart thudded to a stop as her head lowered to rest on his chest.

"I… can't…"

What should he do? This wasn't her crying or anything, but for some reason he found this side of her so much more difficult to deal with. He reached up an arm to wrap around her back, then lowered it with a grimace. The sudden contact might startle her. She wasn't quite… there in this city. There were things that might affect her that he couldn't know about.

As much as it pained him to say it, perhaps it was a better idea to let her go through all this at her own pace. To let her be sad, or be in pain… rather than trying to fix it all himself. He could remember when he'd first been picked up on one of those cruise liners as an assistant chef. The other sailors there had never so much as mentioned it when he had cried, or had nightmares so bad he spent the entire night screaming. Instead they just went on with their day. As if nothing had happened.

At the time he had figured it was because they were all men, and dealing with feelings that way was just a 'man' thing to do. But then he'd met Zeff.

Zeff had done the same thing, but a little differently. The geezer had never chastised him when Sanji'd had an outburst or had started beating up some of the chefs (quite the opposite in fact, he chuckled nervously), but instead had sat with him. He had sat there, not saying a word for quite some time, until Sanji had calmed down enough to think.

Perhaps that was what he should do here.

Strengthening his resolve, he reached his free hand up once more to gently pat Strauss' back. Just enough to let her know that he was there for her, he would stand with her, but not trap her into something she didn't want to.

It was agony for him.

Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity to Sanji, Strauss sucked in a breath of air and took a step backwards. She hadn't cried. Her eyes were too pale and not puffy enough for that. But they looked tired. So, so tired.

"Are you alright?"

"No," she admitted, before squaring her shoulders, "but I will be. At the end of all this. Sorry about that. I… I just need to get through this first."

He gave her hand another squeeze. "Take your time."

"Nah. I don't want to linger on this more than necessary." She glanced up, gazing over the strange building once more. "This was my old house."

His eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. Her old house!? This fancy thing!?

"I wasn't aiming to visit here just yet," she hummed to herself, not noticing his blatant shock. "I was gonna go to a different place entirely. But hey. I guess old habits die hard."

"But I thought you said you needed the money," Sanji couldn't help but blurt out. "If you owned a place like this… couldn't you just sell it?"

Snorting, she rolled her eyes at him. "It wasn't actually ours. See that insignia there?" She pointed to a circular plaque etched above the wide doorway. "That means it belongs to the Ballet company here, Naya."

Naya? Sanji rubbed his chin. That company was pretty famous. At least as far as ballet companies went, which wasn't saying much considering he could count them all on one hand. He hadn't known they came from the East Blue though. Though then again, it wasn't like the harsh conditions on the Grand Line would encourage anyone to be dancers. It made sense once he thought about it.

"Did you belong to this company then?"

"My whole family did, so when I was born it was kinda inevitable that I got roped in somehow." She snorted, giving herself a begrudged smile. "They used to cast me in the Nutcracker each year; make me the mini sugarplum fairy to make the crowd smile."

The image of a young 7 year old Strauss in a light purple tutu and a tiny crown trotting around the stage was enough to make him grin from ear to ear. But then his face fell.

If that was how she used to live… what changed?

They stood there a while longer, neither quite wanting to ask the other about what they should do next. Part of Sanji was hoping to go in. To see how Strauss had lived and to see what she had come from. But the other part of him was scared.

What terrible things could be in there? What sort of demons was she running from?

Eventually they both caught sight of a rustle from one of the windows. A shadowy figure pushed aside a curtain to look over the plaza before them.

"We should go."

Sanji jolted, not expecting the sudden tug at his arm. "A...are you sure?" he asked, glancing back up towards the figure. "If we've been spotted, shouldn't we go in and say hi?"

"I've left this life far behind me," she hissed, ducking her head down so it wouldn't be as noticeable. "As far as I'm concerned, this is the last day I'll set foot on this blasted island so I sure as hell don't want to go and say hi. Now, can we go?!"

He let her pull him back into the shadows, still in shock from that answer she gave. The last day she spent on Zhelesk? Sure he has assumed that most of her time would be spent on the Baratie from then on, and from there she would be living wherever her next job was. But… to make such a decisive visit to her hometown like this? He couldn't understand it.

"Why are we here?" he asked lamely, the question spilling out before he could help it.

"We're not supposed to be." She tossed aside his wrist and instantly turned down another alleyway. "The house was a mistake. I never wanted to go back-"

"No, why are we on Zhelesk?" Moving quickly he stood before her, blocking her path with splayed arms. "Why are we here when all you want is to never come back?"

Her eyes narrowed. "That's something you should've considered before agreeing to join me."

"I thought that, I dunno…" A tired hand ran through blond hair. "You would be visiting people here. Going back to understand what had happened to you."

"Oh I understand what happened to me alright!"

All of a sudden Sanji found himself get shoved back against a wall, a fist clenching his collar and a very angry Strauss hissing into his face.

"This is the damn island that I starved myself on for years," she snarled. "Where I was working odd jobs at any time I could and surviving off less than an hour of sleep because he needed the damn cash for his damn treatment. And what did he do!? Spend it in casinos or on dodgy prosthetics because he was an absolute idiot and couldn't stick around long enough to save it! And in the end..." Her voice gave a treacherous crack. "In the end…"

His heart thumped heavily in his chest, beating so fast and loud he was amazed she couldn't hear it. Normally he would find himself overjoyed to have a lady slam him back against a wall like this, but now all he could do was feel… overwhelmed.

That was… a lot of information to take in at once. Something about treatment… and prosthetics… and casinos played into the mix somehow? It was all a whirl of chaos spinning inside his head.

"Hey…" He lowered his head, bringing Strauss into an embrace against the grimey brick wall. "It's alright to feel angry. I'm sorry for bringing it up like that."

Her hands, though hesitant at first, curled around him as she leant into the hug. " 's alright. You couldn't know. I'm just… a little on edge right now."

"That's fine. You're allowed to be."

"Mm." Sucking in a breath of air (which sent shivers down Sanji's spine as he panicked about whether he had showered that morning), Strauss leant out of his grasp and took a step back. "Thank you," she smiled, looking more calm than she had done so far. "I… I needed that."

Sanji shrugged, pretending he didn't feel the surge of disappointment from how she hadn't clung onto him for a little longer. But that wouldn't be right. Since that wasn't Strauss. Instead, he grinned, "Anytime."

"Right-" she clapped her cheeks so aggressively that he almost flinched at the sound- "C'mon. Let's get this over and done with already." Now sporting bright red cheeks and a strengthened resolve, she turned back towards Sanji. "It's a long story, and not a pretty one at that, but if you want to listen then I'm willing to talk."

He gave a mocking bow. "My ears are always open for you my dear."

Snorting- "You flirt-" Strauss began to turn them both down yet another passageway, with more of a spring in her step than she'd had before. "Alright… Where do I even start… And don't you even dare say the beginning," she glared teasingly back at Sanji before he could open his mouth.

Sanji just smiled. It was good to see her in full force again. That broken look in her eyes… had done terrible things to him that he'd much rather forget. "Well I know you and your family used to be dancers belonging to Naya… you lived in that house… but at some point you ran out of cash and were forced to do odd jobs to pay for some sort of… treatment?" He finished insecurely. That last part wasn't exactly certain. He had pieced most of that together from that outburst from earlier.

"That's a pretty good guideline," Strauss hummed, sounding (to Sanji's immense smugness) somewhat impressed. "It's missing a few important holes though. Like how my mum walked out on us when I was a kid and stuff."

"Oh…" Sanji almost walked straight into a trashcan. "I'm… sorry… I didn't know..."

"Don't be." She shrugged idly. "If anything I think she was right to. My dad was…" A wince. "A little obsessive… to put it nicely. Dance was his everything. He practically lived and breathed ballet. And if he had to pick between his family and dance… he'd pick dance in a heartbeat."

He wanted to comment. There was so much… so much he wanted to unpack there. But he was scared that if he interrupted her now, she wouldn't keep going. She may seem better on the surface, but deep down there was no knowing what she was feeling.

"So yeah. Mum was sick of being ignored and walked. She would've taken me, but…" Strauss gave a loud groan. "I was an idiot kid and said no. Dad had taught me to dance after all. It was all I knew. Plus I wanted to be just like mum." Her face flushed. "She was always a really pretty dancer."

Was this where Strauss' warped definition of being a lady had come from? From this angelic woman she always aspired to look towards, even after doing something as bad as leaving her only child without a mother? Yet in the end he couldn't blame her. He had done pretty much the same after all.

He hoped Reiju was doing alright. And that she forgave him for leaving her alone with that family.

"It was a little rough for a while after that… but we managed." She shrugged. "It's not as if there are that many male ballet dancers out there and Dad was one of the best so we had enough money to get by."

"What happened," Sanji couldn't help but ask.

"What'll always happen if you keep throwing yourself into a physical activity day after day without giving yourself time to rest. He got injured." She motioned towards her leg. "Tore a tendon in his knee because he overworked it."

He winced, "That sounds painful." And really dangerous, he noted cautiously. Zeff had taught him the basic leg muscles when he'd taught him how to fight, and anything in the knee was pretty important. "How long was it until he was able to support you again."

"Never."

Sanji stopped right in his tracks, nearly faceplanting the stairs in front of him.

What?

"A tendon isn't a muscle. Once it's damaged, it's damaged forever. Dad was told he would never dance again. Well-" She rolled her eyes- "Not without a 16 million beli surgery."

"16… 16 MILLION!?" He gaped at her.

"Yup. Not completely unreachable, unless 12 year old me started bounty hunting, but still needs a lot of work to pay. So," she kicked a nearby pebble, "since the ballet company didn't pay minors that much, and didn't allow part time jobs, I left and started scrounging."

There was a 'but' in there wasn't there? There had to be. Since while that amount was a lot, especially for an underaged child supporting both herself and her father, she should have still reached that amount in four years.

"I see you've run the numbers," she smirked, somewhat tiredly, as she stopped on a higher step. "Doesn't add up, right? Well, you didn't factor in my Dad. Specifically, his love of dance."

Oh.

Sanji could feel his heart sink deeper into his stomach.

"He said it was his calling to dance. His one true dream. And he couldn't live without it."

Some of the dots were beginning to connect.

"He changed." She pursed her lips. "Became desperate. So while I was saving away for the long term solution, he wanted something far more instant. Casinos for the jackpot… Dodgy prosthetics…Backalley operations... he tried everything..."

"Until he went into debt," Sanji finished for her, the words burrowing deep into his mind.

Strauss merely nodded slowly. "More than twice the surgery fee. Which," she added despite herself, "had already risen to 26 mil'. Because he'd damaged it so much with all that extra bullshit, and had managed to get himself bedridden."

He cursed under his breath. Then not so under his breath as the indignation sunk in, "Why the hell did you manage to deal with that for so long? You didn't need to pay for that… that… asshole! He didn't deserve it!"

"Yeah," she mused, continuing up the stairs once more. "He probably didn't. But think about it. If this was someone who'd taken care of you for your entire life, even when everyone else walked out… wouldn't you do anything to make them happy?"

In a heartbeat. He would do anything for her in a heartbeat, just to make her smile. Which was why hearing that she'd been betrayed by her closest family felt like a knife in his chest. She hadn't deserved that.

She didn't deserve that.

"So what happened?" He moved swiftly onto the next topic. "Did you manage to save up enough? You don't send money back from the Baratie, or write any letters, so…"

The top of the stairs was in sight, he noticed with a sigh of relief. They had been climbing for some time now, and while Sanji wasn't tired he really felt like Strauss needed to sit down for a moment and think.

Especially as her face began to curl, smiling yet not quite smiling. As if by forcing a grin onto her face it would all be fine.

"I never… got enough money."

They crossed the top of the stairs, only to look out over a wide expanse of yellow-green grass dotted with stone obelisks. Obelisks with names. And dates. And people buried beneath them.

"Dad decided to finish that for me."

A/N

Hey. It's me. Ya girl.

Sorry for the large exposition dump of a chapter. I kept thinking of ways to explain it, but still felt that this was the best approach. I hope it worked. I had Strauss' backstory planned from the very beginning. Specifically... what happened to her father.

Suicide is a very sensitive topic for me, for reasons I feel will be better explained at a later date, but I really felt that it needed to be represented correctly in fanfiction and other sorts of media. Partially because of the devastating effects it can have on those who are left behind, but also the sheer desperation and abysmal hole you must have to... commit. For lack of a better word at least.

I know at the moment all I've given you is a throw away line that you may or may not have realised the implications of, but I wanted to bring this up the first time I mentioned it. I'm sorry if this has ruined the flow of the story. But yeah. It's something that has had an impact on me, and I wanted to bring it up.

If anyone wants to discuss these issues one to one, feel free to PM me or find me in the discord (discord . gg / mk6Uq6gZDr and yes delete the spaces). I'm always happy to chat with people about this sort of thing in particular.

Thanks for reading. I hope the chapter lived up to your expectations. It ended on a downer, but there are bright times ahead. I promise :)

Stay safe everyone.