"Excuse me."

Straightening, Strauss glanced over her shoulder to see a large scrawny man with bushy hair stumble out of a nearby bar. Her fists clenched. Was this another idiot she had to beat up.

"Oh no no no!" He waved his arms hurriedly. "I'm not here to fight you miss! Th-they came from my bar, so I wanted to apologise."

Now that she thought about it, they had been coming from that vague direction. Still, she narrowed her eyes, "If they came from your bar, why the hell didn't you do anything about it?"

"Ah…" The man wrung his hands out. "Well I'm not exactly the strongest. I'd be more likely to get in your way… But please-" he gestured in towards his bar- "Let me at least get you a meal and a drink as an apology."

She still wasn't sure about this guy, it'd be pretty stupid to immediately trust someone in an area like this one, but followed him inside nonetheless. She could never say no to a free meal.

"Lemme see what… Ah…" The poor man flailed around at the pitiful state his bar was in. "This is such a mess! I shouldn't've let those guys tear up the place like this… Oh but don't you worry about that, miss," chuckling nervously, turning to scurry into the back room. "Just you set your stuff down wherever you want to and I'll be back soon with your food."

It was a quiet bar. Not that commonly visited, judging by the slight layer of dust and lack of scuff marks, but it was pleasant either way. Definitely not something she would have expected in the lawless districts.

Strauss settled herself on a barstool, slumped her small satchel onto the ground, and began mulling over her situation.

She had made it to Sabaody.

What now?

Finding a job was a priority. She'd slept out in the open many times before, so accommodation wasn't an issue. What mattered most was earning enough to support herself. Muggers and pick pockets she could deal with, so maybe she could pitch herself as a bodyguard-for-hire… But that would mean she had to leave the lawless district. And if she did that, there was a chance she could miss the Straw Hats whenever they eventually came through. So that was out. What else…

"Here you go, miss." A steaming bowl of meat stew slid in front of her. "I'm afraid it ain't much," the scraggly man scratched his head, "But business hasn't been good lately. It's been hard to get the good stuff."

It was nourishment, which was all she cared about.

"Thanks for the food."

And it didn't taste all that bad. Nothing on Sanji's cooking, obviously, but pretty damn good considering it was pub food made from practically nothing. Plus it was fresh, which was something she hadn't had for a while now.

"Might I ask what you're doing here, miss?"

Strauss's eyes narrowed suspiciously as he sat down before her, chair scraping across the floor as he inched closer. "Why're you asking?"

"It's pretty clear you're not from these parts." He shrugged. "Hardly anyone goes by this grove nowadays. Law biding civilians avoid this area 'cause it's dangerous. Criminals avoid the grove 'cause it's dull. The only people who do come are pirate bums like the ones you beat up, and people with stories to tell."

"So you're curious," she said simply.

"Yeah." His smile widened, showing several missing teeth. "Guess I am. As a lonely guy running a pub by myself, I get a little excited to talk to people. Though I can't blame you for being suspicious. That's something you need to survive round here."

At least he acknowledged it… That made her feel a little better at least. She supposed she could tell him a few details. Nothing much, just the basics.

"So you're gonna wait on the archipelago until this friend of yours passes through?" He hummed at her confirmation. "D'you know how long they'll take?"

Strauss's lips pursed. "No. I don't."

"I see. What're you gonna do in the meantime then? Just wait?"

"I…" A sudden bolt of inspiration ran through her head. There she was, sitting in an empty bar, with a feeble man who couldn't break up a fight, and with no employees to speak of.

She could fight. She could clean. She could wait tables.

And she was excellent at all three.

"Sir." Strass smiled, "You wouldn't happen to be looking for any staff members, would you?"

.

The grass fluttered in the light breeze, so vividly green against what would otherwise have been a foreboding place.

Out of all the places Sanji had thought she'd bring him to, this was one of the ones he'd been most afraid of. He had seen a grave before (that cross would be burned into his memory whether he liked it or not) but never a whole area full of them.

How many people had been buried on this hill, to rest beneath the earth and be trodden on by unwary visitors.

All of a sudden he felt nauseous. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be invading this place. He was an outsider.

This felt… wrong.

A hand patted down on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Sanji's breathing calmed. That's right. He wasn't there for him. He was there for Strauss. He was there for her.

"Sorry." Strauss scratched the back of her head nervously. "I didn't know you didn't like graveyards… You can stay here if you want."

"No." Straining a smile, he reached out to grab her arm. "I'm fine. Don't you worry about me or anything. You just come here and do what you need to do."

"You sur-"

"Yes I'm sure!"

The wind whistled, so soft yet so stiflingly dense.

"Well-" She turned on her heel, the wind snatching at her words- "Let's go then."

Sanji dug his nails into his palms but complied. He could manage this. It would be fine. These were the graves of strangers. Complete and utter strangers.

Though, if he was being honest with himself, it wasn't the graves that bothered him. It was what Strauss had said before they'd reached them.

Her father made the decision for that her… Those words kept replaying in a loop in his head. Did she really mean what he thought she did? Did she mean to phrase it like that. He didn't… He seriously hadn't…

Killed himself? Right?

An involuntary shudder ran through Sanji's body. The thought was terrifying. Far more terrifying than normal death, or at least the death he had been used to. An end not caused by external forces… or natural causes… but by the person themselves.

Let me out! Let me out please! I'll be good!

He discreetly pinched the inside of his arm.

Shut up, voice. Shut up!

"I… I guess this is it."

"Huh?"

They had reached one of the larger tombstones in the area, an elegant granite obelisk standing atop two smaller podiums. It was newer than the others. It hadn't started to crumble or weather, meaning the text was still legible. Moving closer, Sanji squinted at the cursive font.

'Valentino Fonss'

'Aged 44'

'May his legacy dance with the tide'

"Valentino?" Sanji's eyes flitted towards Strauss. "Is that…"

"My surname? Sure is. Valentino Strauss… though it's not like I care if anyone calls me that."

He bit back a laugh despite himself. "We have the same initials."

"Really?" She grinned gleefully. "V.S.?"

"Yup. V.S."

"Huh. Weird."

"Sure is."

Their chuckles lasted a little while, before they fell once more into awkward silence. Eventually Strauss flopped down onto the grass, looking somewhat dumbfounded, "This is… pretty weird to actually see."

"You never saw your dad's grave?"

"Nuh-uh." Her lips curled. "I think I'd already left by that point. I just wanted out y'know. To be somewhere that's not here."

"I… see…" Gingerly, he lowered himself next to her. The grass was mostly dry, the same coarse texture that he would have expected from a mountainous island like this one.

"Mind if I do something completely stupid?"

He wasn't sure what to say. No, he wasn't sure what he could say. He wasn't a therapist. He didn't have the knowledge or the expertise to help her with something like this. What if she was planning on doing something dangerous? Or something she'd hate? He couldn't live with himself if he let her do that, but… if it helped… would it be okay...

Chuckling, Strauss leant forwards to grab a handful of grass stalks, "Oh don't look at me like that. I'm not about to jump off a cliff or something. I'm just gonna talk to a person who doesn't exist anymore."

"Oh." Sanji stared up at the gravestone in front of them. Now that made more sense. "You could've phrased that better."

"True. I could've. But it's not like I'm exactly thinking straight right now..."

He hummed his agreement. Words didn't exactly seem appropriate right then.

"So-" With a tired smirk Strauss gestured towards the gravestone- "I guess we should start things off with a few introductions. Sanji, this is my dad. Dad, this is Sanji. He's the damn closest thing I have to family now that you've gone and kicked the bucket." Her smile faltered. "Thanks for that by the way..."

Sanji almost felt guilty at the bubble of joy that blew up inside him as she said that. He was the closest thing she had to family? Not Zeff? Though then again, she had always treated the Geezer somewhat stiffly… So she liked him more huh? But at the same time he couldn't help but notice a tiny prickle in his chest. Too gentle for pain. To rough for joy. Even so, he waved it away.

This time wasn't for him to figure out what the hell his emotions for Strauss were. This was for Strauss to figure herself out.

"I used to look up to you, Dad." She snorted. "I know. Pretty stupid of me. But I was a naive kid. And you just seemed to be so… cool. You knew what you wanted, and would stop at nothing to get there." Her hands clenched. "You were the one who taught me what dreams could be like."

This was hard to watch. Sanji tried to imagine what it would be like if it was Zeff in that grave, if he had been the one to pass on. It felt so foreign. So… surreal. He couldn't picture it for the life of him. He couldn't begin to figure out how… how that might affect him. Not without his breath catching in his throat and his chest demanding that he think about something else, as if his body knew full well that Sanji wouldn't be able to handle that sort of loss again.

When they got back to the Baratie, he was gonna give the Geezer all the foot rubs he could ask for. And a massage. And a dessert for Strauss, couldn't forget that.

"Why did you have to leave so soon? I was almost there, I was so almost at the amount we needed to get you on stage again… After all that time. But…" The crushed grass stems were chucked aside, as far as Strauss could physically throw them. "You gave up. And all my hard work was for nothing."

He waited, with almost baited breath. Waiting to hear what she would say next. But simultaneously fearing it.

"How the hell do you think I felt when I saw you, huh!?" Her voice tremored. "When I walked in to see you like… like that… It was so… It didn't feel real."

His hand was gripping around her own before she had finished speaking. Or before he was even aware of moving. Sanji inwardly cursed at himself. This wasn't what she needed right then. He couldn't just throw himself onto her… Even if all he wanted to do was show her how much he cared and wanted to help and...

Slowly, Strauss slid her hand away.

And Sanji's heart plummeted.

Why… why had she moved? Did she hate him? Was this her way of rejecting him? Well, not that they were ever dating dating in the first place, why the hell would he even phrase it like that come on now… But was it? Was this the end of their friendship?

No. Get your head in the game, Sanji. She said you were like family, remember? Why the hell would she say something like that and then ignore you moments later. She's probably… confused. Yeah, that's it, confused. Or emotional. So something like that wouldn't sit well with her. She isn't normally this open with her feelings like this, today's just a one off, so she was bound to go back to normal at some point.

So it's fine.

It's fine.

Eventually, Strauss squared her shoulders once more and raised her head towards the tombstone. "But I'm not here to talk about the past. That's been and gone and I'm sick of clinging onto mistakes that I may or may not have made. I've changed, Dad. I'm no longer that little naive girl who used to worship the ground you stood on. And in some strange… and pretty messed up way…" She sucked in a breath, letting it whistle out between her teeth. "I'm… thankful to you for that."

Thankful? Sanji cocked his head in incredulity. Why the hell would she be thankful that such shitty things happened to her? He didn't get it.

"Because of you, I may have gone through hell. Sure. I'm not denying that. But because of that pain-" She rocked to the side, giving Sanji a gentle nudge- "I managed to find people who care about me, and a place where I feel like I'm doing what I want to instead of what people tell me to. I don't have to kill myself just to make you happy. Since they taught me what it meant to be happy for myself."

His throat felt raw. And honestly kinda choked up. Did she… really think about the Baratie like that? Like he did?

Did she think about him like that?

"So...Yeah." Grunting, she shifted to her feet and began dusting off stray grass seeds. "Guess that means there's only one thing left to say. And then I'm gone from this island for good."

Sanji remained sitting, although he shuffled back a little bit first. He wasn't sure why, but it didn't feel right to stand by her side at that moment. And, if he was being perfectly honest with himself… the stance she was getting into was kinda scaring him.

"Right." She fully straightened, splaying her feet hip width apart in a way that seemed mildly threatening. Hesitating, she eventually exhaled all her air. "Here goes nothing..."

Sanji retreated more and more until he was almost in the row behind. What the hell was she even doing?!

Then, so suddenly that he almost jumped clean out of his skin, Strauss tilted her head to the sky and took a deep breath in:

"FUCK YOU!"

…

He blinked. And blinked again.

His ears were ringing, not from how loudly she'd said it but instead from the sheer force behind both words. The mountains still echoed her voice, slowly dissipating into something unintelligible but the feeling behind them still remained clear. Especially as he watched her pant heavily now, as if she had run several marathons one after the other.

Her anguish. Her sorrow. Her anger. All of those convoluted emotions that had tormented her for years had been distilled and expressed in one massive outburst.

And she looked freer for it.

"Ah…" Strauss turned, wiping a thin line of sweat from her head. "Sorry about that. I'm… I'm done. It's finally over."

It was as if a weight had visibly been taken off her shoulders. She was taller now. Her shoulders were softer and less tense. And although her face looked tired and worn, there was a soft glow to it that Sanji couldn't help but gape at.

He was almost…

"Hey! You in there? Sanji?"

"Huh!?" He recoiled as Strauss's face suddenly lowered to meet his. "Y-yeah. I'm fine." Taking her proffered hand, he shakily got to his feet. "I'm fine."

She didn't believe him. That much was clear by the look in her eyes. "I'll take your word for it then. Do you want to keep looking around? I think I'm now up for giving a tour if you want to check out the island."

Normally he would've said yes in a heartbeat. Anything to get to know her better, or at the very least the opportunity to try out some of the local delicacies. But now…

His fists clenched.

"No." He marched past her, trying to ignore that strange expression on her face. "We can leave wherever you're ready."

"Okay."

It was so silent that he wasn't sure he had heard her correctly. But as she walked past and patted his arm, he knew exactly what she was saying. She wouldn't force him. She wouldn't press him. She would just… accept whatever he was willing to tell her.

The complete opposite of what he'd done for her.

He had no right to feel jealous of her right now. After all they'd been through together, he was the only one who'd broken and went behind Strauss's back to find out what she wasn't telling him. He'd told himself it was for own wellbeing, but was that really it? Or was it merely to satisfy his own wretched curiosity?

He had no right to feel jealous. No right in the slightest.

A hand flicked him in the centre of his forehead.

"Ow!" He yelped, spinning on his heel. "What was that for?!"

"To stop you looking like a kicked puppy." Strauss rolled her eyes as she retracted her hand. "And to tell you to stop blaming yourself."

Sanji furrowed his brow. How did she…

"Because it's written on your face, you idiot! Look-" she started before he could protest- "I'm not gonna ask you what you're thinking about. I'm honestly too tired and too brain dead to deal with any more of that complicated stuff today. But, what I will say is that whatever you're thinking, it's not your fault."

"But-"

"AH!" Her finger shot out to silence him. "Not gonna hear it. No more complicated feelings stuff today. I can't be asked. For the time being, though, I'm hu-"

Her stomach gave a loud gurgle.

They fell silent.

"Well…" Strauss continued, face flushing several shades darker. "I guess that also gets the message across..."

The two looked at each other, and burst out into laughter.

"T-the timing of that stomach of yours… Is incredible!"

"F… fuck off…"

"You're laughing too!"

"Only 'cause you are!"

"Oooof course you are. My mistake."

"I know a good spot to eat around town. Want to go on a wander?"

"Only if that rumbling doesn't deafen me first!"

"HEY!"

The air felt lighter. Cleaner. And while Sanji still had that pit in his stomach still, it was lifted by the fact that they would talk about it later. Right now, they were back to normal. Back to their blissful normal. Strauss was happier, he was happier, and everything was great.

Maybe this was why Strauss had decided to come here. Knowing you'd acknowledged the past makes facing the present that much brighter.

If only he could do the same.

It was strange how everything and nothing had changed. On the one hand, Strauss felt freer. As if she'd finally released some tension she'd never known she had. On the other hand though… everything was the same. The Baratie kept going. The chefs kept cooking. The customers kept coming back. And she kept waiting tables. The same old same old, day after day routine.

The only difference was Sanji.

She had never gotten around to thanking him just yet. Without his insistent pushing she would have never gone back there, and would never have moved past that roadblock. Not to mention that his company throughout that whole thing was a massive help. Just him being there made a massive difference, even if there were times she would rather recoil in on herself.

But for some strange reason she found that she couldn't actually say it. Every single time she had built up her courage and been determined to properly thank him, the words just got choked up in her throat. She didn't know why. Or how, for that matter. Yet there was something inside her that kept telling her to thank him later, and later, and later.

Why though…?

Strauss subtly observed her co worker as he took a table's order on the opposite side of the room. Sanji looked alright, at least on the surface. Buuut that never meant anything now did it? Sanji was a master at hiding his own feelings for the sake of others. And it wasn't like she was avoiding him. He wasn't avoiding her at least.

It should be easy. So just go for it!

She mentally kicked herself.

In the middle of a busy room of customers? Customers with that wretched popcorn?! She didn't want to be ridiculed.

But it would be good business-

So what if it was 'good business', was that more important than her pride?

What pride?

Not now!

Gritting her teeth, Strauss forced a slight smile onto her lips. She was still on the clock. People were watching. She couldn't let this affect her job. It wasn't right. She could deal with this later. Much later.

Or right now and she'd never have to worry about it ever again!

Yeah. You know what, that sounded great.

"Hey, Sanji."

The blond head perked up instantly from the other side of the room. "Yes, Strauss?"

Oh thank the lord he'd finally dropped the honourific. That had been getting old, fast. "You got a moment?"

Crunch crunch crunch…

Ignore them.

"Uh…" He gestured to the mass of tables still waiting to order. "Can it wait a moment?"

And have to work up the nerve to do this again? Not likely. No, she would do this now and only now. Pride be damned.

Otherwise she might never do this at all.

Before she could convince herself otherwise, Strauss set down the mass of dirty plates she was currently stacking and marched across the room to where Sanji was standing.

"Huh? W-what's going on..."

She was mere feet away from him now. Right in the middle of a room of eager customers. Her fists clenched.

Come on… just do it. It'll be fine. Get it over and done with, and then you can go back to work without worrying about a thing. It'll be fine!

Her heart continued to pound in her chest.

It'll be fine.

"Strau-"

Strauss bowed.

Not just any regular bow but a proper 90 degree one, performed so fast that her head had to take a moment to recenter itself. But she held it, perfectly still, and perfectly aligned. Without even raising her head.

The restaurant erupted into hushed murmures. No one daring to breath, or think, or even grab a handful of popcorn while this strange display was going on.

"S-Strauss… stand up." A pair of shaky hands moved into her vision. "You don't need to do this."

Her eyes slammed shut. "I do!"

Say it now! Now! Before he cuts you off again!

"Sanji, you have been there when I needed you most, and pushed me forwards when all I wanted to do was sit and stew in my own self pity. You, and Manager Zeff, and everyone here at the Baratie have welcomed me with open arms, but you especially have helped me properly grow and move on from my past."

"Strauss stand u-"

"You were the one who put up with my stubborn acts, my selfish tendencies, and irrational teasing," she plowed on, not daring to stop talking or open her eyes until absolutely everything was out in the open. "You properly took your time to get to get to know me and from there, to make sure that I wouldn't get in trouble or go through any unnecessary pain. And I..."

Deep breaths, Strauss… Deep breaths…

"I can never repay you for that."

You can do this…

"THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD FRIEND! I HOPE TO REMAIN WORKING BY YOUR SIDE FOR MANY YEARS TO COME!"

She said it. She actually said it. Oh god oh god oh god... It sounded so lame out in the open why did she go through with this in front of all the customers this was such a bad idea she should have forgotten about it and told him later.

All of a sudden, a pair of arms hoisted her upright and crashed her into a hug.

"You idiot."

H...huh?

Strauss's eyes flew open, only to see Sanji's head resting on her shoulder. A shoulder which was… becoming rather damp?

"You… absolute idiot…"

Shit! Fuck! Aaah! Was he crying?! Like… crying crying. Nononononono! Sanji couldn't cry! She didn't want to see him cry! What should she do?! She wasn't cut out for this comforting stuff! Had what she said hurt him that much?! What to do what to do! Rub him on the back maybe?

"Why're you so damn grateful for all of that stuff, huh? 'S not like I did all that because I had to."

What?

"We're friends you dummy!" He raised his head, hand rushing up to swipe away any remaining tears before the customers saw. "Of course I would've done that. I care about you. So don't say it like it was anything special. I would do it all again and more, and I know you would do the same for me."

Ah…

Now her eyes were stinging.

"If you're gonna thank me for doing stuff as basic as that, then I need to thank you for the same." Sanji grinned, one of his absolutely beautiful and genuine smiles that always left Strauss's knees feeling weak. "Thank you, Strauss, for being there for me when I've messed up, or just wanted a shoulder to lean on. I've been working here for some damn time, and can honestly say no other employee has ever come close to you. You're my friend, my best friend, and I hope that no matter what you can rely on me for anything. Anything."

Dammit…!

Strauss burrowed her head into Sanji's shoulder, completely forgetting herself for just one moment as she let her emotions swell to the surface. How could he say that… with such a straight face? Did he mean all that… about her? Really?

It felt so… nice.

"NOW KISS!"

…

Those assholes...

Raising her head, tears now stifled, Strauss turned and glared in the general direction of the voice. A young lad. He appeared to be in his early 20s, and with a group of his friends. She glanced up at Sanji, laughing inwardly at their matching red eyes. He nodded at her, making a face as dark as thunder while he cracked his knuckles.

They wouldn't have to feel guilty about beating those guys up.

Though, Strauss realised with her foot planted solidly in the offender's face, in a way she was grateful for the interruption. Since sure, that emotional atmosphere had been completely ripped apart by that foul comment and that was absolutely uncalled for, but… there was a little voice in her head. A voice that with every hit and every punch she tried to bury further. To hide deep in her heart and pretend that it didn't affect her. As while she tried to tell herself that never, never in a million years, want to kiss Sanji….

If that moment had kept going… she might have actually considered it.

A/N

Happy pride month everyone! Hope you're all safe and happy :)