Law never considered himself to be a very 'shockable' person, but he was truly surprised by how well Strauss was getting used to life in the Polar Tang. Usually when he bought new crew members on they were always complaining, be it about the tinny air or the constant humming or the seeming lack of available space. But not Strauss. Perhaps it was that strange accepting nature of hers, or she genuinely didn't care, but he was immensely grateful for it. He wasn't ready to get another headache from complaining. If he didn't know better, he would almost say Strauss was enjoying herself.

Almost.

"Will you stop already," Law hissed as he heard the sound of turning for what was the thirty eight time (he'd counted). "Your pacing is driving me nuts."

Strauss wrinkled her nose, looking genuinely apologetic. "Sorry. I'll tr… I'll stop."

His eyes followed her across the room to where she settled in one of the opposite chairs. Why she was even here mystified him. He had made himself very clear that when he was in his surgery he wouldn't be disturbed unless absolutely necessary! Penguin or Bepo should have told her that. So why…

Ah well. He settled himself down to do some work. It didn't matter now. It wasn't as if she was annoying him, now that she'd stopped the damn pac…

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap ta-

Law slammed his desk. "WILL YOU SHUT UP!"

"Huh?!" She jumped. "Wh-what are you… oh." Her eyes trailed down to her leg, hopping up and down against the metal flooring. "I hadn't realised… sorry…"

Whichever god was out there, give him strength! Law pinched the bridge of his nose. It was no use. He couldn't work like this. Might as well cut the bullshit. It was that or cut her leg off, and he couldn't be bothered to do that. "What is it?"

"What's what?"

"What're you so agitated about? Because-" He silenced the imminent objection- "It's clear something's on your mind."

"Nothing's on my…" Strauss glanced down, seeing that once again her knee had started jogging, and groaned. "I know how this looks, but I'm being serious. There's nothing at all I want to talk about or get off my chest. This is just something that happens sometimes without me noticing."

A nervous twitch then. Law stifled a grimace. An involuntary action- even worse. "Is there anything you can do to stop it, because it's very annoying."

"Well…"

He waited, watching the cogs in her head whir.

"What do you need me to do?"

Huh? Was he seriously hearing that right? Law's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"It makes sense, doesn't it?" She scratched the back of her head. "I'm acting as your subordinate now. I might as well try and make myself useful for you."

Law couldn't believe his ears. He genuinely couldn't… believe this! Not one, not a single one, of his other crewmates had even bothered to work when they didn't have to. Sure they did what he asked without complaining (mostly), but that was only with prompting. He'd never had someone… be so willing to just do stuff for him.

Perhaps she was kidding. This was just a way to warm up to him and get him on her side. He slowly nodded to himself. Yes. That had to be it. No one ever wanted to do menial labour of their own free will.

But hey! His lips curled into a smirk. She had been the one who offered!

"Well as a matter of fact, the engine room needs cleaning. As does the rest of the ship for that matter." Law cradled his head in his hands, trying not to snigger. "If you're looking for a way to get rid of that energy, you could always grab the mop. I believe some of the piping is getting particularly dirty."

She would say no. That much was certain. It didn't matter how much she had done as a bartender back on Sabaody or how much she may or may not like cleaning. No one wanted to spend their entire day scouring the entire length of the Polar Tang just because they were told to. Absolutely no-

"Okay."

…huh?

Law… blinked. And blinked again.

Rising to her feet, Strauss moved towards the door and was about to leave before glancing over her shoulder, "Where is the cleaning equipment kept?"

…huh!?

"Oh nevermind I'll ask someone. Oi Ikkaku!"

The door closed behind her with a click. Leaving just Law. In an empty room. With the silence he had once craved. A beat passed. Then another. Then… yet another. But Law remained as he was. Staring at the door. As still as he had ever been.

HUUH?!

.

It was cold. Well… duh. She was on an island half coated with ice, what had she been expecting it to be? But for some reason the cold seemed to bite harder than usual. Maybe because she was actually spending more time outside than she normally would.

Strauss dug her hands deeper into her pockets.

Part of her was wondering if she should turn back. The blizzard had actually let up a little bit, which unfortunately increased the danger of snowblindness. It wouldn't do for her to wander around these snowdrifts blind. She huffed out another breath.

A light buzz coming from her coat bought her up short. Strauss grimaced, pulling out the timer and silencing the alarm. Testing time. Which probably meant something was going to happen to those kids. She wasn't fully sure what were in those giant candies they were given after testing, but a sickly sweet smell like that couldn't be good. It was like they were trying to mask another flavour.

She had better get there fast.

Time seemed so… distorted here. It was so silent. The snow fell with little to no wind, and there was no sign of life to be seen other than herself. All she had to keep time was the crunch of her own footprints against the snow. As if she was walking forever.

But that was impossible. Fingers curling around the alarm in her pocket she shook her head and got her thoughts back in order. There was a job to do.

Purupurupurupuru… Purupurupurupuru…

Another call. Strauss clicked her tongue. So soon after the first, although who knew how long she'd spent wandering the wastes out there. Once again her hand dove into her pockets. Still, what did Monet have to say to her this ti…

Her fingertips brushed over a perfectly still transponder snail.

Oh.

That wasn't the Lab snail. It was her personal one.

In a daze she fumbled for the receiver.

Ca-cha!

"What do you need?"

"Nothing much." Law muttered back, voice low to avoid detection. "The Marines have been dealt with, but it appears the harpy is starting to suspect us. And-" The snail grimaced- "for once she's convinced the mad scientist to do the same."

"Doesn't surprise me. She called just after I left you."

"She did, did she? Checking up on me I suppose."

"Got it in one."

"I knew I shouldn't have given her wings…"

"So-" Strauss narrowed her eyes- "Are we still sticking to the plan?"

"Hmm…" For the first time since she'd met him, he actually sounded unsure of himself. "We'll see. It may depend on external factors for once."

That didn't sound ominous…

"You just keep doing what you're doing, Strauss-ya. You'll be the first to know of any immediate changes."

She scoffed despite herself. 'First to know' her ass. Didn't matter if she was the first to know if the guy kept things to himself for months on end. But, she sighed, she couldn't exactly complain either. "I see. Well let me know if you need anything. And if anything happens to the heart."

"You have my word."

"..."

"..."

Her brow creased. "Don't you normally hang up by now?"

"You still haven't addressed me by my proper title."

A vein bulged in her forehead. That little…

"But I suppose it's to be expected. You are a little too sensitive about that issue, Strauss-ya. I'll be going then. Oh, and keep an eye on your Punk Hazard snail. Who knows what might be coming in and out through that thing."

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

"...Asshole." Strauss stuffed the snoring snail away once again. For someone who seemed so calm and calculating, he really did like to give people a hard time!

But that wasn't anything she couldn't deal with. Pursing her lips, Strauss continued once more to trudge on through the thick snowbanks. Law had told her to find the Straw Hats, so she would find the Straw Hats. As simple as that. And then maybe she could finally talk with…

Her gloved fingers dug into her palm.

He'd be disappointed in her, wouldn't he. She'd changed so much over the years, just like he had. Maybe she'd changed too much. Maybe she was now… something he hated. Or worse, something she'd once hated.

As much as she wanted to see him, another part of her screamed to run away.

BOOM!

A large pillar of dust and snow billowed up over the nearby buildings. Right around where Facility 2-13 used to be.

What was she doing… this wasn't the time to get soppy and sentimental. There were people who needed her. Sucking in a breath, she began to move faster. And faster. And faster. Until the tips of her toes touched the ground twelve times every second and her form was barely a blur in the descending snow.

Flurry Step.

Despite the urgency of the situation Strauss could feel the stress melt off her shoulders. There was something about this, racing through the winds of a biting snowstorm, that just seemed to make her feel… alive.

Law called her foolish. What was so exhilarating about strenuous exercise in a horrid wasteland? But he didn't get it. Neither did she for that matter. Not that she cared too much. As long as this feeling remained within her, she would do this every single time.

She was climbing, higher and higher up the back end of one of the wrecked facilities that was only just visible under the snow. Every step took her upwards. Every step took her closer towards the edge. And then… nothing! She was suspended by thin air, a hazy shadow in the mist.

Weightless. Free.

But gravity could only pause for so long. And she soon found her knees folding as she landed once again onto solid ground. The corner of her lips twitched.

"What the…"

Strauss moved before she was aware of herself. With a single fluid motion she whipped around and raised her leg across the speaker's neck, pinning them forcefully to the ground.

A cacophony of voices rose up around her.

"AAAAAAAH USOPP! GET OFF HIM"

"Wait. If we go too close she may snap his neck in two."

"NOOOOOO USOOOOOOOPP! YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"

Hang on a second… Usopp? Why did that name ring a bell?

"G…get off me… I, uh, I'm strong! I'll, uh, sic my army of giants on you! A-All eight thousand of them!"

Strauss blinked, finally focusing on who was beneath her. She hadn't recognised him initially (that large oversized jacket didn't do him any favours) but that prominent nose was unmistakable. She wouldn't forget those picky tableside manners for a moment.

"Well…" She furrowed her brow. "If it isn't Usopp. It's been a while."

"It's been a… But how the hell d'you know my…" Usopp's eyes widened into miniature saucers. "No way… No freaking way!"

"Apologies for attacking you like that. Reflexes," Strauss explained, taking a step back to give him space.

"AAAAH! USOPP YOU'RE ALIIIIVE! THANK GOOOOOOOD!"

Her eyes flitted across the room, finally landing on Sa… No. Her jaw twitched. That wasn't Sanji. Sanji didn't balance himself like that, and he certainly wouldn't shriek that loudly.

She groaned. It could only be because of one person…

Dammit Law!

"H-hang on! Wait!"! Not-Sanji brandished a finger towards her. "Th-That's the person at the base! She punched Sanji in the stomach!"

The woman in the corner blinked. "So she's probably here to kill us then."

Ouch.

"Wait… H-hang on a moment." Usopp shakily got to his feet, massaging the tension out of his skull. "You must've got it all wrong. This is Sanji's friend. The one who worked with him back in the East Blue. She wouldn't attack-"

She raised a hand.

Silence.

"Before we continue," her voice cut through coldly, "I should introduce myself. Properly." Her eyes flicked towards Not-Sanji.

He shuddered.

Drawing herself to her full height, she swept herself into a formal bow, "Valentino Strauss. Current crewmember of the Heart Pirates and Trafalgar Law's assistant. Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Oh uh…" Not-Sanji bowed back in kind. "Nice to meet you! I'm Tony Tony Chopper, Straw Hat ship doctor!"

"And I am Nico Robin. Ship Archaeologist."

"YOU GUYS SHOULDN'T JUST INTRODUCE YOURSELVES TO HER!"

"I thought the two of you were acquainted?"

"YEAH BUT I WASN'T EXPECTING HER TO ATTACK ME!"

"Sorry about that." Strauss moved herself more towards the inside of the facility. "But in my defence, you called out behind me. What did you expect?"

"Hu- But…"

Robin nodded. "That sounds reasonable. I see no reason to object."

"But you you were still with Law though…" Chopper-in-Sanji's-body pressed his hands together. "So you work for the guys holding the kids captive then…"

"I think you misunderstood me." Her eyes flicked backwards towards the snoring group of children, noting the thick steel chain wrapped around their bodies. "I am Law's subordinate and only Law's. The only reason I listen to the people in charge here is because he told me to."

"It doesn't matter if you work for the ringleader or for their various minions." Robin's smile glinted. "It doesn't change that you had a hand in this."

The skin around her knuckles grew tighter. "Look. I had no idea what they were giving those kids. I had a feeling it was something bad-"

"Something bad?!" A pair of hands seized her around the collar. "Something bad?!

Strauss stiffened. It didn't matter if it wasn't really him, seeing Sanji's face glare down at her in pure unbridled rage was enough to make her skin pale. That anger… directed at her and only her… it was terrifying.

But then she actually listened to what he was saying.

"NHC10 is one of the worst stimulant drugs to have ever existed! Not even grown adults can handle the withdrawal symptoms of that stuff it's so addictive, AND YOU GAVE IT TO CHILDREN!"

Oh dear god…

It took every fiber of her being to keep herself upright. She hadn't known. She simply hadn't known. But that wasn't an excuse, and she knew it. Hell, she had thought something was up with the candies earlier. She'd just never acted on it.

She couldn't have.

Purupurupurupuru…

The entire facility fell silent.

Purupurupurupuru… Purupurupurupuru…

Strauss gritted her teeth. "I'm going to need to answer that."

Purupurupurupuru… Purupurupurupuru… Purupurupurupuru…

"Chopper. Let her answer it."

Not-Sanji whipped his head around towards Usopp, "But-"

"It's not like she's going anywhere." The man put a hand on 'Chopper's' shoulder. "We can listen in on the call, and figure things out after. Right Robin?"

She nodded, flexing her arms menacingly. A strange move… unless she had eaten a Devil Fruit. Which she might have, Strauss didn't know. There wasn't much information out there on the Straw Hat pirates themselves, just their exploits. She'd been checking.

Purupurupurupuru… Purupurupurupuru…

Eventually, she felt the grip on her collar loosen. "Go on then. Answer it." Not-Sanji took a few steps back. "But nothing weird, alright? Or we'll… we'll… I'LL KICK YOU!"

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. In a body he wasn't familiar with? Yeah right.

Still, her hand reached for the buzzing snail, it wasn't as if she had any other option. She flipped the receiver.

Ca- cha…

"Strauss speaking."

"Shurororororo! So you finally decided to pick up, did you?"

Her heart plummeted to the soles of her boots. "Caesar. To what do I owe the pleasure."

"Now now." The obnoxious smile on the snail's face doubled in size. "And here I thought you were finally warming up to me."

As if! But she couldn't say that aloud. He had collateral after all. "Sorry." Strauss pinched her brow. "Going through the blizzard has worn me out a little, that's all."

"Ah you regular people do struggle through that environment now don't you? Don't you think your life would be so much easier if you allowed me to run a few little tests-"

"You'll have to take that up with my captain. He is the only one who can allow any…" Her stomach churned. "...Moderations."

"Such a shame such a shame… We'll convince him someday, won't we Valentino?"

A muffled voice came through over the line.

"Ah. Right. You make a good point, Monet. Whereabouts are you, Valentino?"

Strauss paused. Here was the moment of truth. She could lie, and say she was somewhere she wasn't… but that could backfire easily. For all she knew that place could have been searched already.

"I'm in the remains of Lab 2's exit gate," she said eventually. "It looks very beat up though."

"Perfect! The Yeti Cool Brothers have just been through that area!"

Oh fuuuuuuuu…

"Do you see any survivors? Such as the Straw Hats or the test subjects? They really should be making a scene out there right now. I'm fairly certain about the dosages I gave them."

She could see Chopper's fists clench out of the corner of her eye, along with Usopp frantically trying to calm him down.

"No one's here."

"Hmmm?" Oooh her blood ran cold every time he raised his voice like that. "Is that so?"

Keep calm. Ignore the lump in your chest, Strauss. You can do this. "Yeah. It's just snow and debris. Can't see anyone surviving this."

"Oh." A squeak as he slumped back into a chair. "Pity. I rather hoped those subjects wouldn't die this time. I put so many resources into them after all. Oh well. Perhaps they wandered out somehow."

She waited.

"Anyhow! I called to let you know that Law should be joining you soon. He snuck out the back door again to do who knows what. I suppose he'll be with you soon."

"Thanks."

"Keep me posted, Valentino." All of a sudden his voice sunk into a croon. "After all… you wouldn't want your dear Captain's heart getting crushed now would you?"

Her teeth ground together. "No sir."

"I thought not! Shurororo!"

Ca-cha.

Silence. Once again. Save for the wind howling outside the door.

Eventually Strauss sighed, and turned back towards the three incredulous people behind her.

"Well. Do you trust me now?"

"We're in an alliance."

Strauss's jaw tensed. "And when were you going to tell me this?"

"Now." Law replied impassively. In all honesty, this idea had only come to mind the very moment he'd seen Straw Hat take on the Cool Yeti Brothers. It made him wonder if all that talk had something backing it up.

"I see…" His subordinate groaned, running a hand over her face. "Well I guess we needed allies anyway."

He smirked. She was taking this better than he'd expected. At least better than Straw Hat's crew… they were still shrieking a few feet away. Although…

"You're not happy about this?"

"Hm?" She blinked at him.

Law tightened his grip on Kikoku. "This alliance means we will have to spend time around the Straw Hats. Isn't that exactly what you want?"

In the background Long Nose began shaking Straw Hat enthusiastically by the collar… While the strange blond man began panicking over the limp tanuki Law had tossed him.

"You know…" Strauss murmured, barely audible over the hissing wind outside. "I don't think I know what I want right now."

Yeah. His eyes drifted downwards. He could understand that. But even then… She must know what would come next.

They had made a deal.

"-alliances between pirates are often marked by betrayal." Eventually his ears picked up on what Nico Robin was saying. "Maybe it's dangerous for you, since you are so trusting."

"Hmmm…" Straw Hat lolled his head backwards. "I trust 'Traussy. She's helped me out before."

Law felt the girl tense next to him, but decided not to comment.

He didn't know how much pain that incident had caused her, and wasn't particularly interested in finding out.

"Tra-guy? Are you gonna betray me?"

"No."

Straw Hat beamed.

Both Law and Strauss felt their jaws go slack… And their eyes furrow.

"HEY!" Long Nose bellowed. "Have at least a little doubt!"

"Anyhow-" The oblivious idiot plowed senselessly onwards- "A pirate alliance sounds like fun doesn't it? I think Tra-guy and 'Traussy are good people, but even if they aren't don't worry!" He cocked his head. "Because I have you guys who spent the last two years training! Shishishi!"

He… what…

Was he… He seriously…

They couldn't bel… No they couldn't possibly believe thi-

"D-Don't mention it! Luffy, you're making me blush!"

"Yeah I know we're SUPER dependable but…"

"We just do what we've gotta do! You're not flattering me… idiot!"

"A-Alright Luffy! You can count on us!"

He could feel the beads of sweat begin to drip down his face.

Strauss leant over, arching a questioning eyebrow.

He didn't know… Groaning, Law ran a heavy heavy hand over his eyes. He wished they weren't… Did they seriously think everyone else had just sat around during the past two years while they 'trained'? How else would he have… would his crew have…

Haaaaaaaaah…

Maybe this alliance was a…

No. Stop that thought there! Law pursed his lips. Everything would still go according to plan. It was not as if he was joining Straw Hat's crew… it was an alliance. An alliance which would break apart once they had finished using each other for their own means.

This would end! It would end… at some point…

"Yes." He eventually replied. "We are. So… bear with it for now."

She scoffed. "I could have warned you it would be like this… Or something similar, I only knew the first five members."

"They were like this even then?"

He didn't like the look of that grimace. "Well, let's just say that they are a… unique set of people."

Dear god what had he gotten himself into?

In the meantime…

"Room."

Three of the four people he'd body swapped earlier flinched as the transparent dome flexed over them.

Law flexed his fingers. "Shambles."

"UAAAAAAAH! I got it back! My great body! SUUUUUUUUUUUPEEEEEEER!"

"Oi Franky! Why are there cuts and bruises all over my body?! What did you guys do to it?!"

"I'm sorry… it's his fault…"

"I BLAME BOTH OF YOU!"

"...Sorry."

The final figure sighed. "You should be happy just being back to yourself, Chopper." The Cat Burglar (Nami, if he bothered to remember correctly), slumped over in defeat. "Why do I have to be in someone else's body again? First it was Franky… and now Sanji?!"

"I'm afraid there's no other choice." Strauss pushed herself off from the wall, moving over towards Black Leg… or rather, Nami. "The other two had their bodies here, so they could easily swap back. Sanji isn't here… he's the one in your body?"

Nami nodded.

"I see…" She clicked her tongue. "Then that explains it. Law can't change you back without your body in range. Your personality needed somewhere to go, so it went the only place it could."

Law closed the room with an absentminded flick of a finger. It was strange. For someone who had spent the past two years working towards meeting this mad, Strauss seemed almost… calm. Too calm. Not just anyone could stand in front of the people they cared so much about, even if that body was inhabited by a different person, without a flicker of emotion over their face.

He didn't mind it. Hell, he was almost ecstatic! An excess of angst and pent up emotion was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now, especially from his own crew! To see one of his best subordinates keep such a level head was honestly the biggest sense of relief he'd had all day.

But still. He couldn't help but wonder, as his most level headed subordinate began properly introducing herself to the cyborg he was with earlier…

Just what sort of thoughts were running through that girl's head?

A/N

Hello! How have you all been doing?

Things have been... pretty busy lately. I'm alright though. I can push on through just fine :) Most of my problems are because of too many fanfic ideas and not enough time to write them. For example I had a weird idea to write a self/OC insert (since like hell I'd write myself into a story) based on Captain Kuro of all people. Yeah. I don't know why either.

On the other hand I was also thinking about writing something original. Not quite sure what yet. But I really want to become a writer, and I figure that if I at least try to branch out with something original but fun in a fanfic-y style (so one chapter at a time)... I could maybe start putting myself out there. Or I would, if I actually had the time... or the ideas... I might turn one of my old fanfic ideas that I have a chapter of into a short story... which I have no idea where I'd post... idk... It's all just ideas whirling through my head at this point.

Anyhow, thank you for sticking with me! I know it's been a tough few weeks, and things seem like they might get even tougher. At least over in the UK... Please stay safe and sensible!

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, and a happy and healthy New Year! I'll see you next time!