A/N: TW: There's a flashback scene where an intersex character is bullied. It's two consecutive italicised lines, easy to spot if you wish to skip it.
"SHUT UP!" Potter bellowed.
"I crave your pardon?" Severus glowered down at Potter.
"Of course, sir," Potter narrowed his bright green eyes, like daggers. "I said 'shut up about my dad'."
Severus clenched his jaw as he took in Potter's arrogant, self-righteous face. He once again acknowledged how wrong Lily's eyes looked on James Potter's smug, ignorant face. Harry Potter might not have been raised by the damn narcissist, but he sure had all of his traits in spades. What was it Hermione saw in him? What was it Dumbledore sa-the prophecy, you idiot.
"And yet you continue to prompt me to," Severus sighed. "You are behaving just as he did. Just as arrogant, just as-"
"DUMBLEDORE TOLD ME EVERYTHING!" Potter shouted. "HE SAVED YOUR LIFE AND THAT'S WHY YOU HATE HIM! YOU'D THINK SOMEONE WOULD BE GRATEFUL!"
"Grateful?" Severus laughed. "I thought you said the headmaster told you everything. Well, evidently he did not. I bet you were imagining some grand heroics weren't you? Well, let me enlighten you, Potter."
Potter's face fell, though he still shot daggers at him. Defiant until the last, perhaps Potter had something in common with his little girl after all. That's hardly the first time you thought that, you stupid piece of shit. He turned his thoughts from the daughter who he was certain hated him. Severus would find someway to deal with Hermione later. For now, he had to address the arrogant boy glaring at him. The boy who lived has an apparent death wish!
"The headmaster spared you the knowledge of your father's cruelty," Severus explained with a curl of his lip. "It was a prank of his own devising that nearly cost me my life. It would seem he got cold feet upon its execution. No, James Potter was not some grand noble hero. He was cruel and arrogant. As I stated before, he believed us mere mortals should kiss the ground he walked upon. And I am keenly aware of the similarities!"
"I-I don't think I'm better than anyone," Potter said, his glower betraying his words.
Hermione, listen...
I'm listening...
I can think of a few people you seem to believe you're better than, Potter. It wasn't just about Potter's father and his blatant disrespect for authority. Severus should have been used to the disdain by now, and the fact that Potter lorded over him whenever possible. What truly disturbed him now was seeing him with his daughter. What if they wind up together? He'd treat her like...that boy from Japan-Yamato-he even looks a bit like Potter.
Torment someone else's baby, Potter! "I have evidence to the contrary, you disgusting little boy."
"You're the one that's acting superior!" Potter snapped. "Like you know so much more than everyone here."
"One of the perks of being an adult, Potter," Severus sneered. "We do know more."
Potter's resolve returned and he stared him down once more. "All you are is a bully. No wonder Hermione avoids you."
The boy has a point, you stupid piece of shit... Torn between acknowledging the truth behind that statement and giving into rage. Severus's blood boiled as he recalled each time Potter endangered Hermione. Each time he dismissed her out of hand. Pressured her into something she was so clearly uncomfortable with. Harry Potter treated his little baby girl like shit and he had the nerve to use her against him? The rage won.
"DON'T YOU DARE BRING HERMIONE INTO THIS!" shouted Severus, slamming his fist into his desk.
"Why not?" Potter seethed. "You clearly have no issue bringing my dead father into this! I reckon family isn't exactly off limits, is it?"
"Sit your smug little arrogant arse down, boy," Severus pointed at the chair opposite his desk.
"I'd rather not, thanks," Potter shrugged.
"I've had just about enough of your cheek, Potter," Severus seethed.
"I wasn't aware facts and logic were the same as cheek, sir," said Potter sardonically.
"Facts and logic?" Severus scoffed, striding up to him. "Fine, I'll play your game, little boy!"
Potter backed up, looking rather confused.
"In the two and a half years you've known her, Hermione's life has been in danger more times than I can count!" he snapped. "But let's try shall we? I'll chalk up the troll to a coincidence, but I'm certain you and Weasley had something to do with it being in the same room as her."
"We-"
"I'm talking now, Potter. You listen!" he jabbed a finger in his face. "A word you should be familiar enough with for all the times you've told Hermione to listen when she wasn't saying a damn thing!"
Potter swallowed.
"Oh, but to confirm that she was, indeed, listening." he continued. "You dragged her with you to retrieve the stone knowing the danger, involved her in the investigation of the Chamber when we were handling it. Refused to believe her when she knew the actual culprits, forcing her to pursue them herself, which ended with her abduction last year. And she risked her very soul defending you from that dementor, Potter! And aside from this morning, I don't think I've seen you together in quite a while. Indeed, it seems that poor girl is invisible until she's of use to you! So, remind me again how you two are such good friends!"
Potter averted his gaze in shame. Perhaps he was finally realizing the ways he'd let harm come to her, the way he took her for granted. Hermione was the only innocent party involved and he had to reckon with how he'd ruined her life. Severus had been too soft on the boys in the past. Too willing to listen to Hermione when she pleaded on their behalf. They'd regret what they did to her.
"We didn't force Hermione to do anything!" Potter yelled. "She wanted to help because she's a good person. You'd know that if you ever let your own daughter finish a sentence!"
"Oh, that is rich coming from you, boy!" he hissed. "Have you ever taken up that issue with Weasley? Longbottom? Yourself? Because all I've ever seen is you talking over her, demeaning her, treating her like last week's rubbish! You have no right to speak to any mistreatment until you've addressed your own!"
Potter fell silent. He stared at his feet, once again feeling adequate-he hoped-guilt over his treatment of Hermione. The awkward boy's pale flesh flushed pink in anger or shame. Perhaps a mix of the two. Severus knew he didn't win, but Hermione's treatment might improve after the altercation. That would even be worth forgetting about the boy's sojourn to Hogsmede.
"No cheeky retort?" Severus mused. "Perhaps you're finally realizing what you've done. And don't expect a twelve-year-old girl to come to your rescue!"
"Thirteen," Potter looked up, still pink but glaring.
"Can I get a sentence with that number, Potter?" he groaned.
"Hermione's been thirteen for a while now, sir," Potter said.
"Don't be rid-" You adopted her when she was eleven months old, twelve years ago. She's-that can't be right, she's still so little-no she started school on her eleventh birthday, two and a half years ago. Damn it, Potter. "Empty your pockets, Potter."
Potter swallowed once more.
Got him.
"Are you deaf, boy?" he sneered. "I said 'empty your pockets'. Unless there's something you don't wish for me to see?"
"Of course not," he said. "It's just an invasion of privacy."
So you do listen to Hermione from time to time? "I will not ask again, Potter. Turn out your pockets."
Potter did so. There was an empty sweets bag from Zonko's that Potter justified as something he'd recently finished but was given by Weasley, a cloth for cleaning his specs, and a terribly familiar scrap of parchment that was suspect in its attempts to seem unremarkable.
Potter standing in his office was replaced by a smirking boy of striking resemblance, save that his untidy black hair was purposefully styled, he stood taller, was less pale and thin with a smirk and a cruel glimmer in his hazel eyes. Yes, he could see in perfect detail James Potter smirking while holding this "unremarkable" scrap of parchment and his hangers-on crooning over his should, trading cruel, mischievous laughs.
What Potter held today was no ordinary piece of parchment.
"And what is that?" Severus smirked. "Another keepsake from Weasley?"
"Erm," Potter hesitated. "It's just a scrap of parchment from homework. It's rubbish."
"Oh?" Severus raised an eyebrow. "Then you won't mind if I just-"
"Wait!"
"Well, I suppose there is a difference between you and your father after all. He was a much better liar," Severus tapped his wand to the parchment. "I, Professor Severus Snape, master of this school, command you reveal yourself."
Pooling black ink sprang from the yellowing parchment, forming text. Severus felt he was at last victorious over the little shit when the words finally came, wiping the smile from his face.
Prongs, Padfoot, Mooney and Wormtail give their congratulations to Snape, as none of us thought he had the brains to become a Professor.
Severus clenched his jaw. That all sounds awfully familiar.
"Where did you find this, Potter?" he glared.
"A gift from Ron," he said. "He got it from a joke shop."
"A joke shop would hardly mess around with such dark magic, Potter," Severus rolled his eyes. "Lie to me again and you'll be spending your next quidditch match pickling rat brains."
Prongs and Padfoot, Severus mused. That sounded awfully similar to Black and Potter's pet names for each other. Exact if he recalled correctly. All of that effort to protect him from Black and Potter was willingly carrying a relic of his? What if Black could track him with it? "Did it not occur to you that this is dark magic, Potter? And that if it just fell into your lap Black-who is trying to kill you- might have something to do with it?"
"No!" Potter insisted. "I don't want anything to do with Sirius Black! The man betrayed my parents!"
"So you know he was once friends with your father," he sighed. "All the more reason not to make his job easier for him! Now tell me where the hell you found this!"
Potter narrowed his eyes. "It's not from Black, that's all that matters."
"You have to give me more than that, Potter!" he snapped.
"Why?"
"BECAUSE THAT MANIAC STABBED MY LITTLE GIRL!"
"Hermione's my friend, you think I don't care that she was hurt?"
Lupin, Lupin would know, about this cursed piece of parchment, Severus plucked a jar full of hearth powder from a shelf behind him and hurled it into the fireplace. Potter ducked, covering his head, perhaps assuming Severus had been aiming for him. Oops, he thought sarcastically. The flames roared in the fireplace turning to a flickering green.
"LUPIN!" Severus shouted into the fireplace. "GET DOWN HERE NOW!"
"Severus?" Lupin said, his form appearing in the flames. "Of course, I can be down right-"
"Hermione?!" Severus choked.
Next to Lupin's form was a tiny girl in students' robes with bushy hair covering her little face. He noted Lupin had his hand on her shoulder.
"I have an elsewhere to be", that's what she said. I thought she was going to the library...she sought him out for comfort? I'm her father! He knows so much about her that I don't...they speak Japanese...that mongrel will not replace me!
"Yes, sir?" Hermione squeaked.
"Merlin, Hermione Elizabeth," Severus sighed. "Will you come down too. I think it's imperative you see this as well."
"Yes, sir," she nodded. "I'll be down right away."
Moments later Lupin and Hermione entered his office, both locking eyes with Potter in surprise. Hermione made a gesture to him that went over Potter's head and he mouthed something that Severus couldn't quite make out, to which Hermione clasped her hands, digging her nails deep into her flesh. He once again mentally cursed her habit of hiding her face behind her hair. He might have gleaned an emotion before she assumed her usual tense posture.
"How can I help you, Severus?" Lupin said, with that damned smile.
That 'I'm kind and genuinely concerned about you' crap might work on Hermione, but it won't work on me! Emotionally manipulative prat. "This," he said brandishing the parchment. "I believe dark magic is supposed to be your specialty?"
"Dark magic?" Lupin asked. "That's a rather extreme thing to accuse Harry-"
"I doubt Potter has the brains to cast such advanced magics successfully," he spat. "I think he got it from another party. One with a vested interest in getting Potter to leave the castle, if you take my meaning."
If Lupin didn't, Hermione did, craning her neck and standing on the balls of her feet to read over Lupin's shoulder. Potter hovered closely behind her.
Lupin nodded stiffly looking at the parchment. "It looks to be n-"
Severus tapped his wand to the parchment once more and they all read the new text that formed.
We, the marauders, humbly ask that Severus Snape keep his overlong nose out of other people's business.
"Seems intelligent, does it not?"
"It's clearly just something Harry or his friends got a joke shop," Lupin said taking the thing from and examining it more closely. "Seems to be enchanted to insult the reader. Juvenile. Nothing to worry about."
"Of the four of you, you were always the worst liar," Severus said. "You're not protecting your old friend are you?"
"Of course I'm not, Severus," Lupin sighed, but turned his gaze to Potter.
Lupin might have been to careful to establish eye contact with him, but Severus could read the way he eyed Potter. Severus wore that same expression many times after Hermione engaged in reckless behaviour. Perhaps he was wrong about Lupin wanting to endanger Potter, only someone who deeply cared for a child would wear an expression that bore so many emotions.
"Why is it you think someone was trying to lure Harry out of the castle?"
"The boy was in Hogsmede despite not having permission," Severus explained, catching Hermione's sudden glance to Potter.
"You saw him?" Lupin asked, still looking at Potter, expression unchanged.
"I have my information from a credible source," Severus explained.
"Malfoy's not a credible source," Potter said.
Hermione rolled her eyes and shook her head before approaching him. "Unless Harry's got a clone that's not possible, sir."
"And why is that?" he asked.
"Because he was with me and Neville working on their vampire essays in the Gryffindor common room," she turned her gaze to her feet and clasped her hands.
"Oh?" you used to trust me...Severus said. "And how is that possible when you were in Lupin's office? Unless you've achieved some means of being in multiple places at once?"
Hermione tensed and dug her fingernails deep into her flesh. She knew he knew she was lying. He wondered why she would risk his wraith over such a stupid boy. The great Harry Potter didn't give a damn about her, and still she stood on his behalf. He'd done so much to hurt her, and he she stood telling a blatant lie for his sake.
"A-after helping them with their essays," Hermione bit her lip. "I went to work on a group project for DADA and-erm-I-erm-I-" Hermione gave a bitter laugh and shook her head. "This is pathetic. I know. I just-erm-I realized that I wasn't as okay with doing all of the work as I-erm-thought I was. I should have handled it myself, but I-erm-I brought the work I had done to Professor Lupin and explained the situation."
I can see that happening too, Severus thought, now tasked with sorting the truth from the lies. He looked at the small, vulnerable girl and remembered how she always wound up doing the work in potions when the assignment called for a lab partner. She was so much younger and smaller than her classmates now. They did mistreat her, and often. But covering for Potter? She had to be lying there.
"Who were your partners?" Severus couldn't stop himself from asking.
"I'm currently handling the situation, Severus," Lupin sighed.
"See that you do," Severus set his hand on Hermione's head. "And the more pressing matters?"
"I'll examine this more closely and get back to you," Lupin brandished the parchment. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to steal Harry to discuss said vampire essay."
"Very well," he sighed. "Potter, you're dismissed. If I find out she's lying to cover you again, I'll not be pleased."
Hermione stood still as a statue as they left and Severus mulled over the thousands of things he wanted to tell his daughter. How he wanted to talk to her about the Yamato boy before she left for Japan, how he wished she came to him about her tormentors, and how he'd wished she trusted him. But once again, Potter wormed his way into their lives and that was what he had to address.
Fine, I'm used to being the bad guy, he folded his arms and leaned against his desk. "That boy isn't worth lying for. Especially not to me, Hermione."
"Why would I bother lying to you?" Hermione stared at the ground, clasping her hands more tightly. "You always figure me out. How do you do that?"
"By memorizing every expression on that little face since it was the size of an orange," he sighed lifting her on to his desk before sitting beside her. "Which is why I know you're lying now. You know the boy's in danger?"
Hermione nodded stiffly, staring at her hovering feet.
"I know you think you're protecting him, love," he brushed a large segment of bushy brown hair out of her face. "But it's better that those of us trying to protect him from Black have all of the information. Including him sneaking out of the castle and whatever you know about that parchment."
"I'm surprised you're so invested in protecting Harry," Hermione admitted, brushing her hair back into her face.
"The murder of a child brings me no joy, Hermione," he explained, firmly.
Hermione tensed and reclasped her hands.
"And I don't imagine you'd ever forgive me if I let anything happen to the little bastard," Severus ran his hand over the top of her head.
Hermione glanced up at him gracing him with an eyeroll and faint hint of a smile. "As an actual bastard: 'hey!'"
"Language, dear," he sighed before tapping her little nose. "And you don't know whether or not that term applies to you."
"Does it?" Hermione asked, perking up like an excited kitten.
A knot formed in Severus's throat as he stared into her large brown eyes, blinking her massive lashes at him imploringly. He wondered if that expression would ever not remind him of that first time she looked up at him and wrapped her tiny hand around his finger. It was an innocent enough question. All she wanted was answers. But he... he couldn't give her them. He'd told too many lies. His adoption of the girl wasn't even legal. The threat of the chamber may have been past them, he knew a muggleborn witch was still a target for hate crimes.
"I don't think that matters, love," he said simply. "Do you think whether or not a person's parents were married at the time of their birth has any bearing on them?"
"N-no!" Hermione sputtered, taken aback. "Of course not. I just-"
"Then it doesn't matter, does it?" he asked ruffling her hair. "Now, about that parchment?"
"I wish I could tell you, Dad," Hermione nervously wrung her hands together, and looked back at the ground.
Lupin confiscated it. I may not trust him, but I do trust that he cares for Potter as his own. "Okay, Hermione," he sighed patting her head again.
Hermione looked up at him in surprise. Perhaps she didn't expect him to drop it. Hell, he didn't expect him to drop it. But he couldn't remember the last time he just spoke to his daughter. He missed it. He missed her.
"Say," he stood and took to pacing. "Why don't you stay here for supper tonight? I'll make your favourite and we can do those number puzzles you love so much!" Coming off desperate...
"You mean Sudoku?" Hermione blinked at him in confusion. "Wait, I thought I was in trouble?"
"You were, we talked, now you're not," he shrugged. "It's quite linear actually."
"Yet I can't follow," Hermione admitted before adding "sir!" quickly.
'Sir.' Why in hell did you ever start getting your own daughter to call you that? "You know, Hermione," he sighed. "I was your age not that long ago."
"You mean in the Jurassic era?" Hermione raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not that old, Hermione Elizabeth," he rolled his eyes and set a hand on her head. "Try late Cretaceous. And I would refrain from telling any of the professors that taught me back then I said that."
"My lips are sealed, Dad," she vowed.
Hermione left their living quarters that night feeling quite odd. Odd and stuffed. Her father remembered what she had said about Japanese food being better than British food back in her first July, but didn't know what was vegan outside of rice and seaweed. Which meant he made-bless him, he actually made it rather than getting the house elves to do it-a curious mixture of white rice and Atlantic kelp. Hermione felt bad that he made it-and refused to let her help-that she fought her compulsion to divide the plate into thirds and only eat one. Doing so while pretending to be undisturbed by it, well it was exhausting.
Her father did take out the Sudoku and cross-word puzzles from a week's worth of Daily Prophets, making her wonder if he didn't bother with the cross-words, which he seemed to legitimately enjoy, when they weren't together. And most of his talking was either anecdotes of things she did when she was too young to remember or asking her pointed questions. He softened his tone and his facial expression was gentle, but it still felt like an interrogation.
"How are you classes? Do you need any help with any of them?" "Are you getting along with your classmates? I can talk to your project partners if you wish." "Any new friends?" "How's Miss Lovegood handling the new kitten? If she needs it, I'm happy to help." "Are your little friends from Japan still writing you? How are they?" "I haven't seen you with Potter and Weasley for a some time, is everything okay on that front? Do I need to talk to them?" She knew her tea hadn't been spiked with Vereserum as she was able to lie about getting along with her classmates and the Harry and Ron
Hermione half expected "Are you on drugs?" and "Are you pregnant?" at the rate he was asking questions. It was so...awkward. Nice. Really nice. Nice, but awkward. He was trying way too hard. Hermione wasn't even sure what to make of the emotional whiplash. That morning he was furious with her, then out of the blue he...well it may have been more extreme than usual, but wavering between cold and affectionate should have been something she was used to.
"Hi, Hermione!" a sudden weight tugged on her right arm.
"Gah!" Hermione spun around to a pair of large silver eyes smiling down at her. "L-Luna!"
"I was just on my way back to Ravenclaw Tower," she smiled. "From supper. Did Ron scare you away again? Ginny said that happens sometimes."
Damn it, Ginny. "Hardly," Hermione shook her head with a smile. "My father just kidnapped me for a spell. It was like he wanted to make up for ages of quality time in one meal. It's kind of creepy."
"Hermione," Luna giggled. "That's a daddy-daughter date."
"See, creepy!" Hermione laughed.
"It's perfectly normal," Luna smiled. "Daddy and I do a few every summer. Normal."
Hermione blinked at Luna wondering if there was truth to it. Hermione adored Luna, but she had about as good an idea of what was normal as Hermione did. And if it was normal, given that Hermione had a father present her whole damn life, why had she never heard the term before? And it wasn't like she never spent time with her dad. Every meal before she started school was spent with him. They hung out at Christmas and new years, and during August. This just-he put in so much effort to make it special, it was weird.
"I grew up in a literal dungeons," Hermione sighed. "So, I'll have to concede to your knowledge of normal."
"Normal's overrated anyway," Luna chirped. "I'd never want to be ordinary. Why keep all of your beautiful quirks in your brain?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Not all of our quirks are beautiful."
"Yours are," Luna, her pale cheeks growing pink.
"L-Luna!" Hermione choked before shaking her head. "You know, you shouldn't be telling me where the Ravenclaw dormitory is. It's supposed t be a secret."
"Why not?" Luna asked. "I trust you. And I'm willing to bet you're clever enough to get in. You are the brightest witch of our age."
"L-Luna!" Hermione felt warmth pool in her cheeks. "D-did you need anything?"
Luna shook her head with a little smile. "Just to talk to you. You are my best friend."
Hermione bit her lip wishing Luna was hers. Again, she adored Luna. Even if she so often caught her off guard. Yet, despite Harry's self-involvement, and despite her sisterly connection with Saiyaka, Harry somehow still won that title. Whenever Luna called Hermione her best friend, all Hermione felt was guilt. Luna was so sweet, she deserved better.
"I know I'm not yours," she shrugged. "It's okay."
"Luna, I-erm-I-" Hermione fumbled.
"Have an elsewhere to be?" Luna asked.
Hermione nodded with a squeak in decent.
She left the corridor feeling even more awkward than before. She wasn't sure what was going on, Lupin, her father, Luna...Hermione just waited for the other shoe to drop. She couldn't trust it. No one was nice to her without cause. And Lupin called her 'pretty'? He definitely wanted something. No one outside of Hiro ever called her pretty. And Japan was a break from her reality. People often confused her obsessive studying with cleverness, it seemed only her father knew how stupid she was, but to accuse her of being pretty? Something told Hermione he just wanted Harry's friends on talking terms again.
Or maybe he was teasing me the way Luna does? Hermione thought remembering that one time Luna pulled her hair out of her face. "I don't know why you always wear your hair like that. You're so pretty!"
Hermione gave the password to the Fat Lady and entered the Gryffindor common room where things took a familiar turn for the worse.
"Harry,Ron," Hermione walked up to him and Ron at a table in the far corner of the room.
"Snape didn't kill you, I see," Ron scowled. "Harry blamed himself for your little disappearance, you know."
Oh, yes, Ron must be terribly attracted to me! Hermione recalled Lupin's words bitterly. "S-sorry, Harry. My father wanted to talk to me. Nothing about you-well, sort of."
"Sort of?" Harry choked. "What did he want to know? What did you say?"
"That you got me pregnant and we eloped," Hermione rolled her eyes. "He just wanted to know about Fred and George's map. I-"
"You know?!" Ron shook her by the shoulders. "Why does she know? And what'd you tell him?"
"N-nothing!" Hermione recoiled. "I told him it was probably some junk you bought him at a jokeshop! I swear!"
"Why do you know about the Marauder's Map?" Ron sat back down. "I'm their brother and here I am, the only one that doesn't know."
"They didn't tell me, Ron," Hermione sighed sitting next to him. "I caught them using it last year when I was trying to figure out the voices Harry heard."
"Oh," Ron grimaced, his ears turning scarlet.
I'm not getting an apology, am I? Hermione thought.
"It doesn't matter," Harry snapped. "Lupin took it. He also figured it out. Just as I planned to use it for good."
"You mean planned to get yourself killed?" Ron narrowed his eyes. "Did Harry get a chance to tell you his mad plan?"
"He betrayed my parents, Ron!" Harry snapped. "H-he was my dad's best friend-and not just when they were kids, like you thought, Hermione-Sirius Black was my godfather! He was the best man at my dad's wedding. My dad trusted him, and what did he do? He ratted him out, after torturing Pettigrew to get their location! That's what Malfoy meant when he said he'd 'take vengeance himself', and I'm half-tempted to listen!"
That was all new information. She couldn't speak to the torture or the truth behind it. But Sirius Black being his godfather, the best man at his father's wedding. She could believe it, and as far as Black's innocence was concerned...All Hermione knew was that Pettigrew was still alive. He could have been tortured, causing him to flee and fake his own death. Black could have ratted out Harry's parents. And he was very emotionally disturbed. She would hold off on reminding them of what she saw that night.
"Harry," she said gently. "Who told you all of this? Lupin?"
"We overheard the teachers and Hagrid talking about it," Harry said. "Hagrid even comforted the bastard! I could-I should-" Harry shook with rage, but he couldn't finish the sentence. Quirrell was in self defence, but murder...even in his rage he must have known he couldn't.
"I know you're upset, Harry, but-" Hermione started.
"You know nothing!" Harry spat. "My parents are dead because of him! I might have had siblings, I might have known what it was like to see my parents, not in some bloody mirror. You have no idea what it's like waking up every morning wondering what could have been!"
"Yes, I do," Hermione swallowed tears springing to her eyes. "I don't even know where I came from and the one person with the answers refuses to give me them. Have you forgotten?"
"Hermione, listen," Harry tried to soften his tone, the edge still palpable.
"I'm listening," Hermione clasped her hands, driving her nails into her skin.
"It's different," Harry said. "I know my parents were murdered. Betrayed. Robbed of a future and I was robbed of a family. You have to know that it isn't the same as just not knowing."
Not knowing if I was wanted by a mother? Not knowing if I have a sibling out there that was worth keeping? Hermione thought, but she knew it'd fall on deaf ears. And she had to give him that orphaned and abandonned were different.
"Okay," Hermione nodded. "It's different. I haven't lost anyone to murder, and I can't fully appreciate how you feel. But I can tell you it's not wise to go after a powerful dark wizard. It's dangerous."
"That didn't stop you," Harry narrowed his bright green eyes.
"Yes, we've already confirmed I'm an idiot," Hermione sighed. "But this about you. I'm expendable and you're too val-
"The man betrayed my parents, Hermione!" Harry cried. "He deserves to-he-I'll-"
"WHAT?! Ron screamed leaping to his feet. "KILL HIM YOURSELF?! YOU DON'T REMEMBER DEFEATING YOU-KNOW-WHO AS A BABY! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS LEFT OF THE LAST PERSON WHO WENT AFTER SIRIUS BLACK?! DO YOU?! I'LL TELL YOU, HARRY! THE MINISTRY GAVE MRS PETTIGREW THE ORDER OF MERLIN WITH HER SON'S FINGER! THAT'S ALL THAT WAS LEFT OF HIM! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'LL DO ANY BETTER, HUH?! BECAUSE YOU'RE HARRY BLOODY POTTER?! YOU'LL GET YOURSELF KILLED!"
"Ron," Hermione tried to speak calmly, a squeak betrayed her. "Calm-"
"AND YOU!" Ron turned his rage to Hermione, the scarlet spreading from his ears to the entirety of his freckled face, and his blue eyes almost glistening. "DON'T LET THE FACT THAT PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE BRILLIANT GET TO YOUR BIG BUSHY HEAD! YOU'RE A BLOODY LITTLE IDIOT! GOING AFTER BLACK LIKE THAT! YOU'RE LUCKY ALL HE DID WAS PLAY WITH YOUR MEMORY! BOTH OF YOU WANT TO GET YOURSELVES KILLED! FINE!"
Ron became aware of the audience his-or possibly his and Harry's- shouting. The twins, Lee and Angelina paused their game of Exploding Snap, Neville and Ginny stared from a far corner of the room, Dean, Seamus, Pavarti and Lavender looked up from what seemed to be a game of Bullshit in curiosity and others were equally drawn to the shouting.
Percy Weasley glowered at the three of them. "I think you three should go to bed."
"I was going there, anyway, mum," Ron snarled. "Can't be around these two gits right now anyway."
"You sound like my father," Hermione hissed.
"Hark who's talking, bitch," Ron glared.
"Prat!" Hermione returned the glare.
"Will you two stop!" Harry spat. "We've already attracted enough attention!"
"Good!" Ron snapped. "Maybe you won't go and get yourselves killed then."
Ron then made Hermione wished she could sink into the floor. "LISTEN UP!" He jumped up on the table and cupped his hands around his mouth. "THESE TWO IDIOTS HAVE A DEATH WISH! RECKON THEY CAN DO IN SIRIUS BLACK! THIS ONE WANTS VENGEANCE AND THIS ONE SAYS SHE'S EXPENDABLE!"
Ron leapt down from the table and glared at the two of them. "If you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us all killed. Sound familiar?"
"YOU FUCKING PRAT!" Hermione cried unable to stop herself from bursting into tears.
Hermione was stopped on her mad dash to the girl's dormitory by a hand on her arm.
"You're not, you know," Neville said, seeming to do his best Luna impression.
"What?" Hermione squeaked trying to hold in a sob.
"Expendable," Neville said quietly.
"Th-thank you," she choked. "I have to-"
Hermione didn't finish her sentence. She simply ran as fast as she could to the dormitory and dove into the bed. She spent the night biting her lip to silence her sobs, while doing Arithmancy homework. Arithmancy made sense. When she was done her homework she laid down and let Crookshanks comfort her as her curled up on her chest. She re-read Hiro's most recent letter for comfort but was made to wonder what he saw in her.
"Still nothing?" Severus asked.
"It's only been a week, Severus," Lupin sighed.
The two men met covertly in the forest, trudging through deep snows in order to speak in private. Severus noticed how Lupin shivered beneath his moth-eaten brown cloak. The man was so thin, so...he didn't have to agree to meet him here. If he'd suggested...that stupid man was going to catch his bloody death. Severus rolled his eyes, liking the cold, living underground for years, he'd be fine.
"Take it," he instructed throwing his winter cloak at him. "You'll catch your death."
"S-Severus," Lupin gave him a quizzical look. "It's freezing."
"You're freezing," Severus corrected. "I'm fine. Honestly, you're worse than my te-erm-thirteen-year-old."
Lupin obliged, still confusion still written over his pale green eyes and face. "Thank you, Severus."
"I've made a habit of covering your arse, Lupin," he sighed. "I'm going to call in a favour at some point, I swear."
"I'll be sure to fulfill it," Lupin smiled.
Did those lines always appear around his eyes when he smiled? Severus shook his head and rolled his eyes folding his arms over his chest. "Be sure you do. Nothing about that parchment revealed itself to you?"
"Sorry, Severus," he shrugged turning his gaze to the ice laden branches over head.
So, easily distracted. "The students will be going home for the holidays. Perhaps we can make headway then," he mused. "Unless of course, there's something you're not telling me?"
"You're not taking off over the holidays?" Lupin asked, turning back to face him.
"Professors stay, Lupin," he sighed. "That's how it was when we were boys, it's how it is now. I thought I recall you being smarter."
"I just thought you two might have gone away over the holidays," Lupin turned back to the icicles.
"Three weeks with just myself?" Severus shook his head. "If last weekend is any indication Hermione wouldn't know what to do with so much quality time."
"She's a teenager," Lupin rolled his eyes with a smile.
"Don't remind me," Severus shook his own head. "I swear yesterday she was barely walking and suddenly-Oh, you're good," he laughed coldly.
"What are you talking about, Severus?" Lupin blinked at him.
"Distracting me," he scowled. "Why do I always-When's Black planning on striking next?"
"I don't know, Severus," Lupin sighed, establishing eye contact. "You're a legitimenze, you know I'm telling the truth."
Damn it, you are. "So, you have nothing?"
"Sorry."
"Why did you even agree to meet?!" Severus hissed. "What-you're impossible!"
"I agreed to meet because you wanted to discuss the situation in private," he explained.
"You could have saved us both the trouble, Lupin."
"God," Lupin sighed, rolling his eyes. "You were always like this. Ever since we were boys you've-"
"I've no interest in a stroll down memory lane, Lupin," Severus seethed. "I'm going back inside. Don't bother me unless you have something I can use!"
"Sev-"
"Keep the cloak!" he snapped turning away.
It was a cold march back up to the castle stewing in his anger and remembering another time in the forest with that idiot ages ago...
"I told you to leave me alone!" Lily cried, ripping her arm back. "I want nothing to do with you!"
"Lily, please," Severus pleaded.
"Forget it, Severus!" Lily snapped. "You burnt that bridge last year when you called me-you know what you called me!"
"Lil-"
"Save it!" she hissed. "If it wasn't for us knowing each other back in the day, there'd be nothing here. Otherwise you would have ditched those wannabe be Death Eaters! Or did you think because half a year passed I'd forget about it?!"
"You forgot about what Potter did," he grumbled.
"Oh, boo-bloody-hoo!" she seethed. "He played a couple pranks on you! There were already rumours about that without him outing you! At least he's not a blood-supremacist!"
"Don't forget attractive quidditch star!" he narrowed his eyes at her.
"That has nothing to do with this!" Lily spat. "You are the problem, Severus! You're possessive, demanding and every bit the bully as James used to be!"
"L-"
"You think you're entitled because you were nice to the muggleborn with with a crazy mother?" she screamed. "I can't believe I was ever friends with someone as self-centred as you! My friendship wasn't a consolation prize, Severus!"
"Lily, please, I-"
"If you actually loved me you'd want me to be happy!" she shot daggers at him, flames rising in her bright green eyes. "But don't let me get in the way of your happiness, Half-Blood Prince! Have fun terrorizing people just like me!"
A knot formed in Severus's throat and tears threatened to pool in his eyes. How could he have-it was all true. His best-his only friend couldn't stand his guts. Nott and Goyle and the Black sisters from Malfoy's old gang (he graduated when they were third years) hung around him as he was gifted, but he got since he was outed, he took his fair share of abuse from them. Mostly by way of passive-aggressive comments. Lily was all he had and in a moment of anger he dashed it. He was just-but she's dating Potter now?
"Fine, bitch!" he snapped before storming off.
"You're a bloody prat, Severus Snape!" Lily shouted behind him.
Later he found himself in the forest, first kicking snow and burning branches before falling to his knees and wrapping his hands around his greasy hair. He destroyed everything. He didn't even like those idiots, they just were the only human contact he was afforded. He missed Lily. Six months since he called her a mudblood, and she never wanted to see him again. She even want away over the summer. It was hard to believe that just two years before she wept in his arms when her mother died. You are disgusting. You thought about kissing her in that moment. The only reason you didn't was because she got her friend walked in on us.
"A-are you okay?" a quiet voice asked behind him.
Severus touched his face to ensure there was no evidence he was crying. He rose and turned to see what idiot followed him out here. It was, indeed, an idiot, as an entirely different pair of green eyes-pale green eyes- evaluating him. Remus fucking Lupin stood there, shivering in the snow beneath the glistening ice droplets. They were sixteen and he still seemed so-meek. Well, meek when he didn't have Potter and Black backing him up. Not cowardly like Pettigrew, but he so often seemed afraid of hurting someone. To the point of trying and failing to keep Potter and Black in check. He knew Lupin felt guilty after the incident last year, but it wasn't enough to stop him from tormenting him.
"What the hell do you want, Lupin?" Severus snapped. "Aside from staring at me like a lost puppy?"
"Tell me, Snivellius," his face grew pink. "Do you think it can bend the right way to get yourself off? Ooh, can you get yourself pregnant?"
Lupin may not have said that again, but Black took it and ran with it for the past six months. Him and Potter both, very publicly. The whole school now tormented him about Lupin's insane theory. Despite he stood before him, shivering in the snow, flakes in his light brown hair and eyelashes, concern flickering in his pale green eyes.
"Why?" he scowled. "So you can mock me some more? Make sure I'm a satisfying target?"
"N-no, listen," he raised his spread hands, a universal sign of surrender. "I just, I saw what happened. With you and Lily. I-"
"And you have the nerve to accuse me of spying?" he sneered.
"I didn't mean to, I just heard voices in that classroom and-" he shook his head. "I was worried."
"WHAT DO YOU CARE?!" he yelled. "YOU HATE ME!"
"I don't hate you, Snape," he said quietly. "I-I...whatever I feel it's not hate."
Lupin drew closer to him, nothing but sympathy and sickening concern dancing in his pale green eyes. He leaned closer, looking up at him. What the hell was this?
"YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME!" Severus shouted, pushing past him.
"I care because I feel responsible," Lupin said quickly. "The fall-out from that afternoon, it's my fault. You're a prat, Severus Snape, but you're still human."
"Yes, I suppose I am," he looked over his shoulder. "Too bad you're not."
"You hardly look as though you're feeling the Christmas cheer," Dumbledore mused, walking up next to him.
Severus broke from his reminiscing and stared into the old man's twinkling blue eyes peering over his half-moon glasses. He still hated how he felt like a little boy around the man. "Do I ever?"
Dumbledore chuckled. "I suppose not."
"Was there anything you wished to review before the students going home board the train, headmaster?" Severus asked eyeing a happy group excitedly discussing the holiday.
Dumbledore smiled and shook his head. "I think we've already gone over security enough times, Severus. "
"I suppose you're right," he nodded. "I still can't believe so many are going home. School hasn't been that empty since-" Since I was a boy staying here alone... "Perhaps summers."
"Even some of the staff are taking off," Dumbledore sighed. "No one's eager to stay with dementors hanging about, I'm afraid. I still can't believe the got so close."
Severus tapped a finger to his chin in thought. "You did say that they are attracted to guilt-"
"Surely, you're not still finding Lupin suspect, are you?" Dumbledore cast an accusing gaze his way.
"He's hiding something," he mused. "I know-"
"I've heard that song before," Dumbledore cut him off. "I don't particularly fancy it, Severus."
Severus took Dumbledore's meaning. He didn't want to hear anything more about his suspicions. Just as in boyhood, the old man shut him down completely, without interest in possible dangers. The difference here was that Severus was motivated by more than satiating a need for vengeance this time. Lupin was hiding more than his condition and he didn't trust him.
"You believe this is fuelled by some petty boyhood rivalry, headmaster," he acknowledged. "It's not-"
"It's jealousy," Dumbledore glowered. "I'm uninterested in whatever fiction you've convinced yourself of to justify it. Just talk to your daughter, Severus."
"That's not-" Severus sighed. "I give up."
Dumbledore pressed his lips together in a pensive line and ran a hand through his long white beard. "Speaking of children, I spoke to Harry about Ronald Weasley's outburst last week. He assures me he doesn't wish to endanger anyone. I do plan on having a similar conversation with Hermione-"
"I've already seen to it, headmaster," he said quickly. Of course she's second to you. This is why I didn't want her calling you 'uncle'!
"And how did that go?" he asked pointedly, raising an arched white eyebrow.
"EXPENDABLE?!" Severus slammed his fist into his desk. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
"It didn't go well," Severus admitted.
"I figured," Dumbledore sighed. "I'll speak with her."
"That'll make three, sir," he sighed. "You forget that Professor McGonagall spoke to the three of them the morning after."
"I recall," Dumbledore said. "I expect that didn't go well either."
Severus recalled being in trouble with the severe old woman himself back in what Hermione called the Jurassic. "Yes, I suppose you're right."
Am I really doing this? Hermione thought, emerging from the passage in the darkened library.
The plan was mad, but if it worked, well, it'd all be worth it. She cast a glance in each direction, thankful that Pince was the librarian in Hogwarts rather than a ghost like in Mahoukatoro. She wasn't sure she would have been able to carry out the plan there. However, here it was easy enough. But she still had her reservations.
You have to do this, you stupid little girl! Hermione stole herself once she was sure she was alone.
It was going to work. All she had to do was put herself in the hospital.
That sounded more extreme than it truly was. Hermione reviewed what she had. Pomfrey already boarded the train home. Once she was found, she would be sent to St Mungos. She would get the Death Speakers' reports-if they existed-from the basement. And she had another mission...
When you were ten months old you were not well, she remembered her father saying. I finally did what I should have long ago and took you to Saint Mungos.
There had to be records there. Something that explained what put her there, and who her mother was. Hermione's priority had to be proof Pettigrew wasn't dead. But she couldn't pass up such an opportunity. All her life, all she wanted was answers, and damn it, she was going to get them!
You have to remember exactly how she cast that spell on you. She reminded herself.
Hermione remembered the spell but forgot the pain. Her body wracked with it, every bone contorted, every fibre set on fire. How could she forget how painful this was. She collapsed to the ground gasping for air.
She fell asleep, the last thought in her mind was that it would all be worth it once she had her answers.