Trigger warning: some homophobic and transphobic slurs and comments. Please proceed with caution.

Mila Estedon, 16
District 3 Female

Four months before the Reaping

"Girls? Downstairs please!"

Shit.

Tara is in the living room way before I am, which doesn't help at all. Being the last person to arrive is never a good thing. I can feel my heart racing and I wish it would just slow down. This isn't a big deal, why am I so nervous...ugh, why am I so nervous?

It's just a report card, right? What's the worst that could happen?

I take a seat across from Dad and he raises an eyebrow at me. He's already holding my report card. That's not good. "Mila?"
"I'm sorry."
"You understand that the math and tech marks I see here...well...you weren't struggling so much last year. What's going on? Are you even paying attention?"

Tara scoffs. "Yeah, Mila. If you were really that terrible at math class, you should've come to me for help."
"Shut the fuck up!"

"Okay, enough from both of you!" Mom yells, holding Tara's report card nice and neat in her lap. Dad looks ready to crumple up mine. "Despite this, we do want to congratulate you on your music mark, Mila. Well done. If only you could put this much effort into your actually important subjects-"

"Stop," I say quietly, wishing our floor would just cave in and swallow me whole.
"Excuse me?"
"Stop! Stop it! I know! I'm not good at math and learning about tech and stuff! I don't know what happened! But I'm trying my best! I'll...I'll get help! There's a tutoring program at school, I can...I can apply for it. Talk to my teachers or something…"

"You should've done this earlier," Mom tells me. "We might be past the point of tutoring. It might be too late."
"I know! I'm sorry."
"Well, sorry isn't going to improve these grades, is it?"

I know! I know, I know, I know! Shit, I'm so stupid. I thought I'd be fine, that I could hold my own. I thought that I was doing okay and that math class wasn't so bad at first. But I can't and I'm not. And of course Tara doesn't have these problems. Tara isn't dumb like me.

My parents turn to her, the actually successful child. Oh for crying out loud, they're beaming at her. Look at all those lovely words on her card. The praise they give her makes me want to vomit. How her teachers fawn over her, the biggest suck-up to exist in District 3. How high all her marks are in comparison to mine. How proud they are. And then the comparisons, those stupid comparisons. Why does it have to be a comparison? Why can't they just accept the fact that I don't want to be Tara?

I'll never be Tara. That's the issue.

Then Dad makes that dreaded suggestion. I don't have time to jump out of my seat and beg him otherwise before the words slip from his lips.

"Well, now we still have the elephant in the room to focus on. I have an idea, if both of you are willing to work with me. Tara, do you think that we can arrange for you to help your own sister with her math work? Just for an hour every day after school, once you're done, go over it with her and-"

"WHAT!?" Tara and I scream in perfect unison. How uncanny. I know some twins do everything in sync, but we don't. We've never been in sync.

"I don't want to help her!" Tara points an accusing finger at me. "It's not my fault she's an idiot."
"Don't call your sister an idiot, Tara."

"I'm fine! I don't get why I have to worry about her. It's her problem!"
"Well if you're gonna treat me like I'm a piece of shit, maybe I don't want you as a tutor," I snap back.

Mom presses her fingers into her forehead. "This conversation is going nowhere. Mila, stop fighting us on this. Clearly, you aren't putting as much effort in your schoolwork as you could be and we must resolve this problem. And since you're not giving us a clear answer, we have to take matters into our own hands. Having Tara help you is much cheaper than a tutor, and maybe she can explain it to you better in ways you understand. Please cooperate. This isn't a punishment for either of you girls."

"It feels like one," I mutter.
"Mila…"

Tara folds her arms. "Yeah, why is this even my problem? Maybe she can get that fucking tramp she always sucks face with to do her homework for her. Probably pay him with blowjobs in exchange."

WHAT!?

Mom and Dad's jaws drop open.

My hands began to spaz out before clenching into fists. It's taking me every ounce of willpower I have left not to sock Tara Estedon in the face because I neevr thought I'd hear that ever come out of her mouth. "What did you just call her?"

"A tramp." Tara has that gleam in her eye that says come and get me. As much as I desperately want to give her a knuckle sandwich, my heart beat is going way too fast for me to focus. I freeze up in shock.

How did she find out about us? I was so careful. There was no way, I thought I kept it all too well hidden. Nobody would've ever known we were dating. Nobody could know-

"No. She's not a tramp." That's the only thing I can say as tears sting my eyes and my cheeks flush as red as the blood pumping through my heart. I must look so pathetic right now and I can't even explain why. "Don't you ever call her that."

"What would you like me to call him, Mila? A fag? You're both fags, then."
"Her name is Gadge! Call her that!"

Mom and Dad haven't said anything yet. God, this is terrible. I didn't want them, or Tara, to ever find out about me and Gadge because I didn't know how they were going to react. This isn't the time or place at all for them to know. You'd never see Tara going out with another girl, right? Just another notch in the list of things that apparently makes her better than me. This night just keeps getting worse and worse.

Dad seems confused. "Hold on...this boy you've been seeing, Mila...don't tell me this is the reason your grades-"
"No, she's not! And she's not a boy!"

Dad corrects himself. "Okay then, she. But if you can't get your grades up, then I'm afraid that a relationship is just going to distract you from properly succeeding. Your priorities should be your schoolwork. That always comes first."

This can't be happening. My parents want me to break up with Gadge? The one good thing to happen to me so far? I wipe the tears out of my eyes, holding back some ugly sobs. This isn't what I want. I don't want to break up with my girlfriend. I don't want to fail. I don't want to deal with Tara. This sucks, this all sucks, and I hate it. But I don't know what to do.

"But I don't want to...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"We know you don't." Mom's trying to sound sincere, but I don't buy it. "We just want to help you and make sure your grades improve by the end of the year. And unfortunately, at this rate, you'll have to make some sacrifices."
"I said I was sorry..."

It's a pathetic excuse. It's the only thing I can say right now. I'm an idiot. And I don't know how I managed to screw things up so badly, when I thought I wasn't having any problems at all. If I could just turn back time and fix up everything, I would. Maybe I'd start with burning that stupid report card.

"Fag," Tara whispers in my ear before she marches off upstairs. I choke back another sob. The fact that neither of my parents respond to that makes me feel even worse. How can they just stand there and let their own daughter be treated like this? They're not going to defend me, are they.

They just stare, which is like a nail in the coffin. If they're gonna be silent and let her call me whatever she wants, they might as well announce their allegiance to my sister. It's like a punishment. All the apologies in the world will never put them on my side. I fucked up.

I just get up and leave. I can't stay down here anymore and deal with this, so I'm leaving. Straight to my room, careful to listen to what Tara's doing because I don't want to run into her in the hallway. I feel so drained. My emotional outburst is over as quickly as it began. I just flop back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I don't even know if I can cry anymore. I wish the roof would just cave in and bury me in shingles.

This is the worst day of my life.

Bump!

I sit up, after what feels like forever lying on my bed. I guess I fell asleep at one point. But I heard the sound of something hitting up against the side of the house. Carefully, I open up my window and poke my head out. "Hello? What was that?"

"Mila! Are you okay, babe?"

I hold back a sniff. I forgot that she was going to come over tonight. "Oh God. Hold on, I'm coming down."
Gadge tucks her hands into her pockets as I carefully climb out my window and scale down the ladder she's brought with her. The second my feet touch the ground, I run to her and grab her into a big hug.

"Were you crying? What happened?"
"Gadge, my sister squealed on us. She told my parents and they want me to break up with you."
"What?" Gadge nervously pulls at a strand of her hair. "Your parents seemed like such nice people, I can't believe that they'd ever be so-"

"No, no, it's not like that...I don't think it is…" That's what I hope anyway because I really don't want to deal with that issue right now. "They were okay when they found out, I guess. I told them your pronouns and they corrected themselves. They haven't said anything else yet-"
"Slow down! Slow down. If it's not that, then what is it? Why are your parents angry with us?"

"It's because...they saw my report card...I'm failing math. They think you're a distraction, and…"

Gadge's face falls. She buries her head into my shoulder and I just pat her back. This sucks. And it feels like it's just the two of us against the world. I love Gadge a lot. And I don't want to lose her because I couldn't get my shit together in time. Am I dragging her down with me? Am I really that bad of a girlfriend?

"How come you never told me? I could've helped you. My older brother was really good at math, so maybe he'll tutor you if I ask him."
"I don't know why. I thought that I was doing alright. But my parents want Tara to be my tutor."
"Your sister. Who just outed us."
"I know."

Gadge sucks in her cheeks and sighs. "I'm so sorry. But don't cry, okay? It's not the end of the world."
"It feels like it."
"Trust me, it isn't. We can find something. We'll figure this out. You don't have to break up with me. Well...unless that's what you want to do."

"No! No, no, no, no! I don't...I mean...I don't want to break up with you! I love you!"
"Me too. But...oh my goodness, I can't believe this. The fact that your sister would do this just scares me. Who else knows about us?"

That's a question I don't know if I can answer. Perhaps we weren't as careful as I thought we were. Maybe the whole district knows at this point. This night just keeps getting worse and worse, doesn't it?

"It's all my fault. I could've done a better job…"
"I think we'll be okay," Gadge whispers. "I don't care about anything else or anyone else except for you. Look, don't worry about me, alright? Worry about you. I'm worried for you and I want you to be okay and happy. I don't want to see you like this."

Fuck. I really don't deserve her, do I?

"I want to be happy," I tell her. "I really do want to be happy and you're what makes me happy. But it's so hard right now. I just feel so scared."
"We'll get through this. We'll find a way. I'll do everything I can to help you, if you'll let me."
"I don't know. I don't think I can."

"You can. And you will. Mila, I've seen you hit rock bottom before, and you always found a way to climb free."

Why do I not believe her?

Gadge gives me one last kiss and then she's gone into the night. I want to follow after her, but being outside right now is risky enough. Who knows what my parents would think if they saw me sneaking out to go hug the supposed distraction that's hampering my success. Who knows what Tara would say. No, it doesn't matter what she has to say about me. I'm not a little girl, I can make my own decisions, and if I get caught so be it...

Way to go, Mila. Just dig into the hole you made for yourself. Past rock bottom and all the way to hell. Let's see how deep I can make it before I finally break down.

No. I can't break down. If Gadge saw me do that right after she assured me things will be alright, she'd break up with me for sure. She's so much stronger than I am, that I sometimes wonder why she chose to date a sap like me. My parents wouldn't want to work out a compromise either. At least I don't think they want to, with how much I've disappointed them tonight. And Tara...Tara…

Tara would get the last laugh. Tara would be right. She'd torment me endlessly and I'd never escape it.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

Amalthea Latifolia, 21
District 3 Escort

Admittedly, going to that party was night was a huge mistake.

God, their feet didn't feel any better. Their head hurt and they were so exhausted. If Amalthea drank anymore coffee right now, they felt like their head would explode. But they couldn't be falling asleep on the job either. Amalthea quickly made up their mind. They could go a half hour or so without needing anymore caffeine to get them stimulated. The Reaping was exciting enough an occasion already.

And if they were in a much more excited district, they'd be feeding off the energy of the mentors too.

But in 3, there was one mentor and that was Bennet the sourpuss. Amalthea tried to be respectful, but Bennet really intimidated them as well. Not only was he much older and had been doing this for way longer, but he pretty much hated everyone both in the districts and in the Capitol. And the escort would not be an exception.

Sure enough, when Amalthea went to greet Bennet, they were shoved aside. Maybe they'd try and talk to him again later today.

Anyways, they were good to go appearance-wise. Amalthea had just bought a frilly new blue ballgown to wear today and already, they were loving everything about it. The soft flowing fabric was a lovely bright contrast against their dark skin and they got a haircut the other day too, so their buzzcut was looking fresh as ever.

Too bad 3 didn't seem to share in their delight of fancy Capitol fashion. Maybe next time, Amalthea would find a ballgown with some kind of tech pattern or aesthetic and they'd fit in a bit more. They drew the first name, and then read it out loud to the crowd of people before them.

"Mila Estedon!"

There was a loud scream from the 16 year-old girls and everyone turned to look. Eventually, a girl with light brown hair, slightly tanned skin, and glasses stepped forward. Amalthea couldn't get a good look at her because she had her face buried in her hands the whole time. As Mila got closer and up onstage, they could hear her mumbling under her breath.

"No, no, no, no, no...this can't be happening..."

"Any volunteers?" Amalthea asked, not really sure why that question was still part of the procedure. There weren't any. There never was any. They felt a little bad, watching Mila's shoulders slump in utter defeat, but they had a job to do and they drew a second name. "Victor Perdue!"

"DAMN IT!"

From the 13 year-olds came a short, slightly chubby pale kid with blond hair and hazel eyes. Strange enough, Victor was also wearing a headband with a small pair of candy corn looking nubs on it and a black sweater. Their lips trembled as they approached the stage and halfway there, the tears finally began to stream down their face. Victor tried to wipe them away, pulling the headband with the horns out of their hair. They took their spot on Amalthea's other side, across from Mila.

Again, Amalthea asked for volunteers. Again, there were none. "Oh. Anyways, I give District 3 your tributes: Mila Estedon and Victor Perdue!"

They felt a little bad, given the reactions of both tributes, but it was doable. Amalthea tried to tell Bennet this back in the Justice Building, but he just shrugged them off. Well, if Bennet was not going to be of any assistance to Mila and Victor, then that meant it was Amalthea's job to do so.

3 would get another Victor eventually.

And wouldn't it be nice if Amalthea was there to make it happen?

Next Reaping done and another new post up on the blog! Anyways, please be respectful of Victor and Amalthea's pronouns in the reviews. If you're unsure what pronouns they use, you can check the blog or just ask me.

Updates will be a little bit slower onwards, but I will still maintain my two updates per month schedule.

See you all next chapter,

-Vr