Hi there! Sorry for the wait. I didn't mean to make you wait this long, especially not after the April Fool's joke, but I decided that I didn't want to upload a pathetically short chapter, so combined the next two together. It's not... particularly long now, but still decently-sized. Anyway, now that my Wi-Fi's stopped being a little bitch, I can upload this!

Tino spent the entire weekend hiding in his flat, not talking to anyone, and only opening the door to collect his take-away meals, way too depressed to cook for himself. Or wash himself. Or tidy anything up. He spent his days in bed, both sleeping too much, but seemingly unable to sleep.

He'd messed up. Badly. After sending Berwald an apology text, he'd turned his phone off and moped. His current work in progress lay incomplete on his computer screen, and Tino spent most of his time watching vine compilations into the early hours of the morning, wearing the same pyjamas. He tried to get some writing done, but quickly gave up and sent an apology tweet to his followers for not having an article for them. He was still working, technically, because the word document was open, even if he hadn't looked at it for days. He felt like he'd been stabbed in the eyes and kicked in the stomach, and couldn't even muster the energy to cry.

Eduard came round on Sunday, just to see how he was. And if he was still alive. After listening to him whine for the best part of an hour, Eduard told him to stop being a baby and face the consequences of his actions. Eduard had told him to stop being a coward.

So, he took a shower, changed into pyjamas with no barbeque stains, and turned on his phone. 5 missed calls from Berwald, and a brief text stream before Berwald's anxiety presumably got the better of him and he gave up. He'd invited Tino over to talk and help him build a new display cabinet, tomorrow, actually. Was it that he wanted to chew Tino out, and tell him to get out of his life? No, the messages seemed concerned. Maybe he just felt guilty about not wanting to see Tino again, even though it was a fair reaction.

He'd go and talk to him about it, get it all over with and go cry in bed for a month. After sending a quick reply, Tino decided to sit on the sofa, eat uncooked noodles like a hamster, and play video games. He fired up Dream Daddy, certain it would be the only dating he'd be doing for a while now.

Berwald answered the door in nothing but a pair of jeans, and Tino had to discreetly pinch himself at the sight. Was he trying to torment him? Let Tino know just what he had missed out on by being a shitty person?

Berwald smiled when he saw him, a small, but genuine, one. Maybe he didn't really hate Tino.

"Hey, Ber, I- uh, I made you a Karelian pasty." He held up a rather pathetic attempt at baking, but he made it with heart and soul! And tears and a small breakdown. It looked like a burnt horse pussy.

Berwald seemed to like it, though. "Thanks. Looks n'ce." He put it in the fridge for later, and Tino crouched down to look at the mess of boards laid out on the floor.

"What's it supposed to be?"

"Cab'net. Gunner's first wages. Got too much stuff."

"Cool, is it for swords or Lego?"

"CDs. We… need a bigger cab'net. Fer those too." He pointed at a box of second-hand records and player. "From his mum."

Tino shuffled over to have a rifle. He liked snooping through other people's things. It was a collection of old heavy metal albums, the iconic, classic ones like Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath. The kind his dad thought he was superior for liking. Tino liked them too, but had always kept that a secret from him, out of spite. "Look," he began, deliberately not looking at Berwald, "I'm so, so sorry about what I did. It was super inappropriate."

"Forgive ya. Y'tried something, I got uncomf'rtable, and ya backed off." He got out the instructions and began screwing pieces together, carefully following the directions like a professional. Tino felt a little useless watching him go.

"And you were so, so nice to me anyway." Tino held a plank in place for him, whilst Berwald screwed. "You're just… so, so nice to me."

Berwald shrugged, blushing slightly, then the conversation moved back to building. It was comfortable ground, with no possibility of awkwardness. Tino did whatever Berwald told him to do, not entirely sure what he was actually doing. If he ever got new furniture, he was getting Berwald to build it. Especially if he was going to be shirtless the whole time. No, Tino! This was the kind of nonsense that made Berwald uncomfortable. But holy fucking shit, Tino just wanted to cover Berwald in honey and lick it off him like a hungry bear. He decided to not make that known, and just focused on helping him build the cabinet. But Berwald was so close, and so, so warm. He wanted to be held in his big, strong arms.

"Do you have some sort of workout routine?" he asked suddenly. "I mean, you look like you keep healthy. I might..." He gestured at himself.

"I think…" Berwald looked away. "Yer fine the way y'are. But, if y'want, I do warm up exercises - push ups - and run." He fiddled with a nail. "Lift. Rock climbing."

"Well, maybe you could teach me to rock climb, sometime? Don't think I'm built for running, though."

"Like how you're built," Berwald smiled, "squishy. Cute."

"Why does everyone think I'm cute? I'm not. I'm scary!" He flexed and pulled an angry face. Berwald just smiled.

"Cute."

Tino flicked his nose.

"Very cute."

"You think so?" Tino fluttered his lashes. "I guess I could be cute, for you." Was he really trying to flirt now? Innocent flirting, though. Nothing gross.

Berwald blushed at that. "Thank you."

At least they were both horrendously awkward. Or maybe he was feeling uncomfortable again. Tino needed to stop this.

"I think you're cute too," said Tino, trying to be more wholesome, "like a… bear. Like a big, fuzzy bear that eats honey and hangs out with a donkey."

"F'nny thing to call Gunner."

Tino chuckled, and looked at Berwald. And Berwald looked at him. They smiled at each other, completely at home and safe in each other's presence. And Berwald's eyes were soft, and there for Tino to dive into. And nothing else mattered and everything melted away and before either knew what they were doing, Berwald's lips were on his. They could've been there for an hour, or even just a moment. Tino had no way of telling, but Berwald pulled away too soon, and he felt robbed of all oxygen. He lingered on the ghost of Berwald's face, before blinking and shaking himself. "Thank you," he said politely, then mentally kicked himself.

They went back to building; neither of them spoke about anything except the cabinet, even if it was the last thing on Tino's mind. Did that mean Berwald liked him? Probably, but Tino still doubted it. After all, Berwald was so cool and talented and handsome, and Tino was a mess. He was probably just Berwald's pity friend, and now Berwald had an excuse to dump him. Then why was Berwald looking at him like he was the most important person in the world?

The moment the cabinet was finished, Tino made his excuses and scuttled out the door.

Going to Érzsebét Héderváry for love advice was like going to a demon for tips on being a good person, in exchange for your soul. Tino didn't want to do this, but he was desperate. Also, she was the only cousin he had who liked metal and he hadn't seen her in a while.

Érzsebét ran a bakery in town with her husband, and Tino could never get enough of the place. He actually got along with her very well, when the subject wasn't dating, and loved spending time at the bakery, getting out of the cold, being treated to free food, and having a heated debate over the best lead singer of Nightwish. Or who would win Eurovision. The important things, of course.

Tino stuffed his hands in his pockets as he walked, face numb from the cold. It was rainy and miserable, and Tino only liked the cold when it was crisp with fresh snow. The rain just made everything grey. The thought of cake kept him going.

Outside the bakery, he spied Eduard leaving with a bag of krémes, glasses fogged up. Tino decided the appropriate greeting would be to try and steal his bag. Which he did. Not really, of course, he just grabbed the bottom of the bag and tugged, but it still made Eduard yelp and punch him feebly in the tit.

"Hey, Eddie, it's me! Calm the fuck down!"

Eduard stopped, looked at him, and punched him in the arm. "Dick! I coulda dropped my krémes!"

"But ya didn't. Can I have one?"

"No, buy your own." Eduard wrinkled his nose. "What are you here for, anyway?"

"What? Can't I pop in to see my favourite cousin?"

"Yes, but you're at Érzsebét's."

"You're both my favourite cousin. Anyway, I need some advice."

Eduard raised an eyebrow. "About Berwald? And the fact that you're an idiot?"

"Yeah." Tino winced. "Look, I don't know who else-"

"You're going to Érzsebét for dating advice? Are you insane? She'll want to know everything and make you give her a bunch of details - no problem for you, I guess - and will keep following up about it and-"

Tino narrowed his eyes. "Why are you here, then?"

Eduard looked down, and, in a very small voice, said: "I was asking Érzsi for dating advice."

"Well, well, well, how the turns have tabled. What have you got to say for yourself?"

"Érzsebét's the only woman I talk to regularly. Who else am I gonna ask?"

Tino tried very, very hard to think of another woman Eduard could know, and failed. "Fair enough, but it's your funeral."

"Oh, I know. She has this whole dating plan mapped out for me, and it involves me being a lot smoother than I am."

"Just be yoursel- just be less of a twat."

Eduard rolled his eyes. "Thanks, you're just as helpful. She probably knows everything about... my date by now, searched her up on everything. Érzsebét digs for info better than any journalist. I'll leave you to your bad decisions, then." He walked off before Tino could ask about his date, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Tino shrugged and entered the bakery, instantly met with the most wonderful mixture of smells: freshly baked pastry and melted chocolate and cherry and mint. Érzsebét's bakery might just be his favourite place in the world, besides his bedroom. Actually, his bedroom didn't tend to have as much food in it, not good food, at least. Food crumbs in the bed sheets, mixed with dried man porridge, maybe.

Érzsebét was bustling behind the counter with her husband, hair tied out of her face. Roderich didn't seem to be the most helpful of employees, though. Unless taste-testing was absolutely vital throughout the entire day. Also, who uses a knife and fork on a cupcake? Roderich Edelstein, that's who. When Érzsebét looked up from playfully scolding him, her face broke into a grin.

"Tino! Wow, it's a family reunion today; did you catch Eddie on the way out?"

"Yeah, poor guy's fallen bigtime." Tino picked out the desserts he wanted to try, with a large mulled wine, and sat at a table while Érzsebét took her break. Roderich took over, giving his wife a kiss before going to serve customers. He'd happily take a million questions about his love life if he could just eat choux buns and wine. Which he did, whilst his cousin's eyes drilled into him expectantly.

"Great, as always," he said, through a mouthful of cream. "You're still a good baker."

"Cut the crap, Eddie told me you have someone you like. Spill the beans, I want to know everything."

"That little snitch! What's his problem? Anyway, yeah," Tino wiped cream from his upper lip, "I like this guy, Berwald. He's in a band and so strong and handsome and kind. Like, a big gentle giant. He's also super quiet and awkward, but he's really nice and genuine underneath. And he has the most amazing muscles! And we kissed-"

"You kissed?" Érzsebét slammed her hand on the table, "I want details! Was there tongue? Did you look into each other's eyes beforehand? Oooh, did you close your eyes at the same time really slowly?"

"I- can't remember really. It was… sorta a blur." Tino slurped his wine.

"Why do I even bother?"

"I think it was just a little peck. Not super fast, but innocent. But I'm not even sure he likes me."

Even Roderich, from halfway across the shop floor, was looking at him like he was an idiot. "You're an idiot," said Érzsebét to reinforce the fact.

"What do I do, though?"

"Tell him you want to kiss him some more. And fuck."

"No! That's scary! And he'd find me weird. Is there anything else I can try?"

Érzsebét rolled her eyes. "I mean, what I'd do is take a strap and smash his booty cheeks in."

"Okay, firstly, thanks for realising I'm a top; secondly, I don't need a strap; and thirdly-" He pointed at Roderich, "what booty cheeks? Dude has an ass like a tape cassette!"

Roderich looked at his behind and frowned. "That's a little inapprop-"

"Smashed the booty in," said Érzsebét.

Roderich blushed at that, more so when she threw him a cheeky wink.

Tino blinked. "Nice. That the same advice you gave Ed?"

"He was very offended about my implying he was a top, but yeah. He mainly wanted tips on respecting women, and not weirding his new girlfriend out."

Eduard was generally considered the smartest of the three cousins, and, by that, Tino meant he had three whole brain cells, even if they did nothing but sing "Leto Svet" off-key 24/7. And think about tits. Either way, he was book smart and computer smart, but his people skills were horrendous. Especially talking to women, even though they were regular people with hobbies and personalities, he just hadn't had the chance to learn that. Not that he was much better with men, the bisexual disaster.

"His new girlfriend?" Tino raised an eyebrow, "so it's official, then?" Eduard had started dating before him. Eduard. What the hell was going on?

"Yup. Just let that sink in. Now, are you going to talk to this guy?"

"I'm not sure he likes me, though."

"You kissed, you dumbshit! I think he likes you, and is probably too scared to say, if he's as awkward as you say he is. As Finland's only extrovert, it's your job to step up and ask him out. And then tell him you're madly in love with him."

"Okay, the last bit might be going too far, but... I see the logic." Tino sighed. "Okay, okay. I'll try to work up the courage to ask him out."

"Good!" Érzsebét grinned, "then you can get me to plan the wedding."

"You've already planned it, haven't you?"

"Maybe."

Tino could do this. He was not scared! He was not a pussy! He could ask Berwald out! And things would be okay and they could go on a date. Or, if Berwald turned him down, he could work on moving on like an adult. But he was going to do it by text, because doing it in person was too scary.

He typed and retyped his message countless times, editing here and there, trying his best to make sure every word was perfect. And even then, when he pressed send, he just stared at his phone in fear, and disgust:

Hey Berwald. Okay, this is really scary for me, but I've wanted to ask for ages, and, even though I don't know how you feel, I want to try. And I know this could ruin our friendship, but we already kissed and things can't really get weirder from there, so why not try?

Anyway, what I want to ask, is would you like to go out? On a date? As my boyfriend? If you don't want to, I totally understand, but if you do, then maybe we could go rock climbing? You could teach me!

So, yeah, let me know what you think XD

Maybe he shouldn't have signed off with XD.

Maybe he shouldn't have sent it at all, he decided as he watched those three dots immediately appear, and disappear, and reappear, like his out-of-control heartbeat. He wanted to throw his phone out the window, but his fingers didn't work anymore. None of his body parts did, and he was stuck there, staring. His mouth was completely dry, and his arms trembled as he thought he was going to be sick.

He was going to change his name and move to Turkey.

Berwald was letting him down gently, wasn't he? Typing a whole paragraph about how he thought Tino was sweet, but liked him as a friend. And how he hoped they could still hang out, even though things would just be weird and they'd eventually drift apart and only ever see each other when with mutual friends and just be uncomfortable the whole time.

What Tino wasn't expecting were the ten words he got in reply:

Dear Tino,

I thought we were already dating.

signed, Berwald