Train Rides Pt. 2:

Messier Chitra, 15
District 7 Male

I know exactly why I'm here.

Maybe I should have seen this one coming, but I never actually thought about it. But it makes sense. They want my entire family stomped out like the dirty criminals we are. Most are dead, the rest are behind bars, where does that leave me?

They still had to get rid of me somehow. Perhaps make it a little less obvious I still pose a threat. So they threw me into the Games. I don't believe for a minute it wasn't rigged.

How can I sleep knowing that the Capitol wants me dead like this? I don't think I'll be able to. It forces me out of bed and out of my room. I head to another car. Baron is there, reading by himself.

"What are you doing awake? It's almost midnight. Get some sleep."
"Do you have a moment to talk?"
"Yeah. What's troubling you?"

I sit down next to Baron as he places his book on the table beside him. "Look. We both know why I'm here."
"I don't, actually? Acacia knows who you are, but hasn't told me anything."
"Um, my family smuggled drugs for a living. Over the district border. My dad wanted me to take over the business from him someday."

Baron wrinkles his nose in disgust and I guess I deserve it. "Drugs. Between districts. Kid, are you even surprised you're here?"
"No. So I'm not gonna try to plead for my life or anything. The Capitol isn't gonna let me live at all. You're probably better off putting your efforts into Aisling, because she's the only real chance you guys have.."

For a moment, it looks like Baron might actually consider my words and leave me out to dry in the name of saving the only hope he has. It stings a little, but it's the truth. "Not that I want to die, because I don't. But if we're being realistic…"

"I don't think so. Aisling's a pretty feisty kid, and I have a feeling that will help her, but she doesn't have her head screwed on at all. It's gonna come round and bite her in the ass. Acacia won't hear it, but I think that girl's gonna get herself killed real early."

Baron points at me. "And at the end of the day, you're still my tribute. It's my job to mentor you and do what I can to get you out."
"But what if I can't?"
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Baron lowers his voice. "I'll tell you this, they won't make it that obvious or easy, especially if you happen to be a bit of a fan favourite."

I understand what he's saying. Get the audience on my side, and I've forced the Capitol's hand. They can't interfere to kill me if everyone wants me to live. If the sponsors are sending me present after present, what are the Gamemakers gonna do? Steal the money?

It might be a shoddy strategy. But damn it, it's the only one I got.

"I think I can pull it off. Thanks Baron."
"No problem. But it's really late. You should go back to bed now."

Ascella Fuhari, 15
District 8 Female

I dream that I'm back at home, in my bedroom with my potted plants. They've finally sprouted and I begin plucking the vegetables off in an excited daze. I've never seen a tomato so big before. Mom will certainly like it.

I carry the produce to the kitchen. It's empty. Well, it is the middle of the day, so Mom's working and Antares is at school. Why am I not at school?

I set down the vegetables. Suddenly, they melt into a thick black goo. It begins pouring off the table and onto the floor. I run for my bedroom, but the goo sticks to my legs as the level begins to rise. It feels like I'm drowning. The front door opens and someone calls my name.

"Ascella."

A finger pokes my shoulder and jolts me awake. Garnet stands on one side of my bed, looking over me. He looks worried. "Hey. The mentors sent me to get you. Breakfast is ready."
"Yeah, okay. I'll be over in a few."
"Are you alright? You were shaking a lot."

"Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm perfectly fine." I sit up a little and push my hair out of my eyes. "Just a bad dream. That's all."
Garnet sighs in sympathy. "I hate nightmares. That has to suck."
"You don't know the half of it."

Garnet laughs. We make our way to the dining car for breakfast. My mouth waters at the sight of a brilliant spread of fresh fruit. I could never even dream of having this much food back home. It almost seems like too much for only four people to eat.

Maybe it is. Then all this lovely fruit will end up wasted.

I sit down next to Cassidy. I like her. It does feel a bit weird she's not much older than me and she's already become a mentor. She nods in the direction of the fruit when she sees me. "You have to try the pomegranate. It's amazing."

I've never eaten pomegranate before. As it turns out, you scoop out all these little deep red seeds. They do taste good. I fill up about a third of my plate with them almost immediately. I notice Cassidy is eating much less than everyone else.

"I hope this doesn't feel awkward," she finally sighs. "I'll be clear; it's my first time and I have no idea what I'm doing. I mean, I was worried you'd both be older than me and wouldn't want to listen to a kid. Just…Ascella, you can totally go to Tweed if you want."

I shrug. On one hand, Cassidy and I have already spent a ton of time talking about my plans and my strategy and my potential allies. It just feels easier to stay with her since she already knows a lot and I wouldn't have to repeat it to Tweed. But why waste resources?

Okay. I don't think Cassidy is a bad mentor. It's nice to be able to work with someone a similar age and I tell her this. "I don't know, it just feels more…personal? It does feel strange, because we always saw the Victors as these stuffy old geezers back home until you won. But it also makes me think. You won, so I can win too."

The smallest grin plays onto Cassidy's lips. "Thanks."

Cameron Solidago, 12
District 9 Male

I miss home.

The kitchen is often a crazy disaster at breakfast with so many people in it and so many mouths to feed, but I wouldn't have it any other way.. I like the chaos and having everybody at home for a meal.

I wonder if anyone's noticed the empty seat at the table. I feel a twist in my stomach when I realize it's quite possible nobody has. Maybe someone's taken up the seat and is currently eating my portion of food.

I feel out of place on the train. Addy, Desmond, and even Grail all are so much older than me. I don't think I'd blame them for looking at me and seeing a useless little kid, but I don't want them to think that. I'm not a weakling just because I'm the youngest tribute. I don't need to be babysat.

But given how Grail stares at me and gives me the cold shoulder, I know for a fact that I don't fit into any of their plans. I'll have to look elsewhere.

I wonder if I might be better off scooping up the other younger tributes as allies. They'll be less likely to judge me or write me off. I could easily prove to them I'm worth keeping around.

Desmond approaches me after breakfast. "Hey kid. How are you feeling?"
"I dunno…I guess I don't want to be here? But I don't have a choice, do I?"

"I'm afraid not." Demond sighs. "But I'm here to help you, alright?"
"Oh…you do want to help me?"
"Yes! What made you think otherwise?"

I shrug. "I guess I thought you and Addy would care more about Grail than me. I mean, they're the stronger one and the one everybody wants to sponsor."
"You'd be surprised. Lots of Capitolites like an underdog, and who's more an underdog than the baby of the Games?" Demond gives me a set of finger guns. "And I think it'll help you to lean into that angle. You may not like it, but if you give the Capitolites what they want, they will reward you."

I like Desmond. He doesn't talk down to me sometimes like my parents or siblings. He just straight up says it how it is, knowing that I'm not so young I need everything dumbed down all the time.

And yeah. He is right. I may not really want to pretend I'm this cutesy innocent little bean, but I'll do whatever it takes to get out of here. Even maybe…um…I don't know about the killing part. I'm not sure I could kill to save my life.

How can my siblings do a bunch of shady shit and feel okay with themselves? How do they get away with it? How does the guilt not eat them at night? Maybe the guilt does eat them up and they're just better than me at hiding it.

I wonder what would happen at home if I won. If I'd be the centre of attention or brushed off again.

"Okay. So play cute and everyone's gonna love me. I can do that. What else?"
Desmond gestures to the TV. "Are you planning on getting any allies?"
"I think so. Probably the younger kids, because I think they'd be willing to treat me as an equal. Not like Grail wants anything to do with me either."

"Grail has no plans to ally with anyone, so don't take it personally. That's just what they want to do. What I'd recommend you do is you start making a list of the allies you want, in order of priority. Then in training, you go around and you ask them. Also figure out how many you want to. One or two isn't a big deal. Three or four, just be careful because big groups stand out. Got it?"

I just nod. The info Desmond's given me is golden.

It's nice to have someone be open and honest for once.

Hunter Appalachie, 17
District 10 Male

"I don't want any allies."

The second Chater sits down, he stands back up again. "Are you sure about that one?"
"Positive. I'm not here to babysit anyone. I want to win and I can't do that if someone's slowing me down."

And I mean it. It sucks already being here and I've wasted a whole day moping around and feeling sorry for myself. My family. My aunt, uncle, and cousins.

What sucks is that they'll be perfectly fine without me. They can still clear out the traps and one less mouth to feed means more food for them. But mostly, I'm thinking about my parents. If the afterlife is a thing, would I see them there?

Uness there's no such thing as an afterlife, just an endless void that swallows up your soul whole and you cease to exist.

Chater crosses his legs. "You don't want to look over the Reaping again? Maybe there's someone who can-"
"No. I want no allies. Period."

"Have it your way," Chater huffs. "God, I hope you're not this stubborn in the arena. Alright, alliances aside, what else are you good at?"

Well, shit. I can't say trapping. That'll give my entire family away because there's no way the Capitol doesn't have cameras on the train. Quick, Hunter. Think up something good…

"I know how to butcher a lot of animals. I can slice a cow a couple dozen ways."
"You're from 10. Everyone knows how to butcher an animal since birth."
"How many of them cook their own meat, rather than selling it to someone who can? I know how to cook using the most basic of ingredients."

"You think cooking will help you in the arena?" Chater asks.
"It could?" Yeah, suddenly saying that out loud doesn't feel so impressive anymore.
"What about weapons? If you're half as good as a butcher as you say, you must know how to use a knife."

"Of course I know how to use a knife!" Who does he think I am? "I know how to use other stuff too."
"Like what?"
"I can't say."

More huffing from Chater as Murdoc and Linh show up. Linh ducks behind Murdoc a little; oh whatever. Not like I'm gonna bite or anything. My cousins? Maybe. Me? Not at all.

Chater gestures at me in exasperation. "Murdoc, can you believe this kid?"
Murdoc glances sideways at me. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes." I shoot Murdoc a look that says I'd love to tell you more, but I might get my family executed if I do. I can't tell if that's what he reads it as, but he just nods in response.

"Seems fine to me. I was thinking we could switch mentors for a moment or so, just because that might help Linh and Hunter out. Sounds good?"

"I'd love to work with the more reasonable tribute," Chater sneers. Murdoc leads me to another car.

"What have you talked about strategy so far?"
"I know how to use some weapons. I can't say them here, though."

"Okay," Murdoc says quietly, and I think he gets it. I can hide my trapping skills, I think. Just spend a lot of time working on it in training so it appears believable. Maybe I'll make shitter traps come the arena, so it doesn't seem so suspicious.

Unless the Capitol already knows what my family gets up to beyond the district border. I seriously hope that isn't the case.

Cora Buchanan, 15
District 11 Female

The only thing keeping me from breaking down is the knowledge that my baby is safe. Jonquil's looking after her, and he's got both of our families to help him. They'll be okay, and I just have to believe it.

But right now, all I want to do is hold my baby again. What if I never get that chance?

So I have to win. I need to go back home so I can cradle Zebe to my chest and never let her go again. I don't care about the fame or the glory or the riches. It could never compare.

Paprika is nice enough, and at least understands my plights about parenthood. I haven't gotten the chance to speak to Oregano yet, since he spends most of his time working with Kerkylas. And Kerkylas gives me some strange vibes.

It feels like he's compensating for something, like he needs to prove he's the epitome of manly or whatever. As a fellow non-cis person, I get it, but I've never felt the need to prove my identity to anyone but myself. And it's completely lost on Kerkylas how good he still has it. The Andros family comes from a lot of money, to the point where he's never had to work in the orchards to support multiple siblings, a boyfriend, and a baby.

So I've been avoiding him a little.

"We'll be approaching the Capitol in a few minutes," Paprika tells me. "And then you'll be meeting your prep team. They'll get you ready for the Parade."

Just what I need right now. To be paraded around like a shiny new toy. I guess the displeasure shows more on my face than I realized, because Paprika gently starts rubbing my back. "I know. But it's only for one night." Your little girl will get to see you on TV!"

"It's not the same."

"You're right. It isn't."

Paprika fishes something from her jacket pocket. ""I'm not really used to talking with parents so young, but I do understand a bit of what you're going through. Sometimes, when I'm mentoring or in the Capitol for really long periods of time, I miss my daughter and my grandkids. I carry pictures of them around with me, so that way it doesn't feel like I have to be far from their faces."

"God, that's smart. I do have a token; one of her dolls." A doll that's about half the size of Zebe. Larkspur made it for her, but she thought it was terrifying. I don't think she'll miss it much; she has other more exciting toys to play with.

"That's lovely. And I hate to break up the sentimentality, but I want to know what your plans are in regards to other tributes? Who do you plan on having as an ally?"

"Nobody," I say quickly. Paprika looks at me funny, so I clarify. "There's a part of me that wants to look after the younger kids, but I'm not sure that it's a good idea at all. I don't really want to get attached to them, and I don't think I could kill any allies if it came down to it."

Saying the words out loud feels wrong somehow, like I'm confessing to a major crime even though I know that I haven't done anything wrong. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That all sounds awfully selfish of me, doesn't it?"

"Not at all." Paprika shakes her head. "If anything, you're on the right track. Being selfish is what keeps you alive."

You know what the sucky thing is?

She's absolutely right. I hate it. I hate feeling this way.

Reggie Baxter, 18
District 12 Male

This is hopeless.

Lark is absolutely useless. Not once has he even tried to make eye contact with me or Tati or talk to us. And I really don't want to go to Donnatricia for advice either. What would a stuck-up Capitolite know about the Hunger Games, other than stuffing their faces while betting on which kid will be the next to die?

Fuck. Fuck this. I have nobody who can help me.

I didn't even think I miss home and shoddy little District 12, but all I want now is to go back. Be with Lyle. My clinic. My coat. I want to apologize to him and hug him and hold him close. Tell him I'm sorry for the way I've treated and hurt him.

Wait, why? I didn't do anything wrong.

Don't be an idiot, Reggie. You're no saint.

I squeeze my eyes shut and open them again. Thankfully, Tati isn't looking at me at all. Good. I really don't need a tiny little Seam girl judging me right now.

After getting another refill of coffee, Donnatricia slips back into the room. I haven't even bothered hiding my disdain from her, and I'd like to think she gets the hint. Which she has not.

"Sweet Panem, they don't teach you anything at all." She grabs the fabric of my shirt and gives it a tug. "Pairing these two colours together? Where do you get your fashion sense from, a dirt hole?"

And this is why I want to be left alone. I don't care about fashion. I just threw on the first shirt and pair of pants I found. It's clean, so why should I bother with coordination or style or patterns or things simple not worth my time and schedule?

"Ugh, and you were the district hopeful too. Well, we're almost there so I'm sure I could talk to the stylists and they'll fix this mess." Donnatricia prattles on, not even noticing that nobody cares except for her. "Heloise still owes me a suit for Lark. That drunkard will never get any sponsors the way he looks right now."

I turn away from and go back to staring out the window. It's a mindless activity, but I need the distraction. I stayed up until midnight last night writing out page after page of plan and preparation. After all, the only person getting me out of that arena is me.

It feels counterintuitive for a healer to become a bloodthirsty Victor.

Somehow, I find myself not caring.

If I pretend everything is just a botched case, everyone is a patient too far gone to save, does that make it easier? Or does that just dig up painful memories of the time I did slip up? No, I did not slip up. I do not make a mistake.

You did make a mistake. You made a big one. It cost someone her life and almost your boyfriend too.

Fuck. Get me off this train so I can't wallow in my thoughts anymore. I just want to be back home and asleep in Lyle's arms.

And for once, someone in my life manages to actually go right. The train comes to a gradual stop. I see a bright sudden flash through the window. Paparazzi. Stupid little Capitolites with their stupid cameras coming to swoop down on me like a hawk desperate for the first bite. Vultures, absolute the vultures the likes of them are. What's so glamourous about this?

"We're here," Donnatricia announces. "Tati, Reggie, please wait by the door. I must go fetch Lark. Time to get you two ready for the parade!"

Whew! Managed to pump this one out just in time before I head on vacation with my family. I would like to say the weather is getting warmer, but it's not. It's currently snowing. In March.

Next up will be a quick parade chapter where we'll hear from some Snows and Cora. So stay tuned for that,

-Vr