Nuka - Greenland

...

And now, after three long years, Tino and Berwald are interacting again!

The weeks rolled by, one after another, into early November, and Tino was falling deeper for Berwald with each passing day. They couldn't do enough for each other: Berwald baked for Tino whenever he could; serenaded him whenever Tino so much as asked; and Tino gently, kindly, tried to coax Berwald out of his shell, get him doing new things. He had even helped Berwald through politely telling a waiter when his order was wrong. Berwald had nearly had a panic attack, but he'd been proud of himself. Tino was proud of him too.

When they weren't together, Tino could barely concentrate on his work. If he wasn't texting Berwald, he was rereading their old texts (he still signed each message with his name, and Tino thought it was adorable). Or gazing at photos of him. Or cranking his meat thinking about Berwald. He was so down bad for this man it was embarrassing.

Sex, however, was something of an obstacle for Berwald. They hadn't done anything beyond heavy petting. Tino didn't mind; as horny as he was; he could respect Berwald's limits. The man was very easily flustered, and seemed to take intimacy very seriously. They'd talked about it, and though Berwald had had sex before, in university, he hadn't quite been ready, and he wanted to wait this time.

There seemed to be the remains of a wall between them, a few bricks Berwald couldn't quite remove, even after two months. There were some things the man wasn't quite prepared to open up about, not just sex, but something else. Tino respected that, and just hoped whatever it was wasn't hurting Berwald, and that he'd confide when he felt comfortable.

Only Berwald could get him up in the morning in 2°C weather to go wade through some mud. Tino sat in the passenger seat next to Berwald, wrapped in a thick coat with a face like thunder. It wasn't that he couldn't handle the cold - quite the opposite, really - he just couldn't handle being cold and tired at the same time. Or tired in general. It drained him. Kukkamuna was asleep on his lap, and Tino tried to doze off too, but that would cut into gazing-at-Berwald time. Such hard decisions…

"I think there's some favouritism going on here," said Gunner from the back. He was squashed between Vidar and Tolli, glaring at the back of Berwald's head. All five of them wore matching gym shirts with the band logo across the chest, and tracksuit bottoms. There'd been some disagreement over what colour the shirts should be, but hot pink had won the popular vote.

"There's 'ne passenger seat. Always gonna be favouritism."

"And, as your flatmate and favourite cousin-"

"Vidar is my f'vourite cousin 'n Tino is my f'vourite here."

"Wow!"

"Aww, I'm your favourite?" Tino tried to pull his face into something resembling soft, and tender. "You're my favourite too." He gently squeezed Berwald's hand, which hadn't moved from the ten-and-two position on the wheel.

"Please dun distract me."

"Oh, sorry." Tino put his hands back on his lap.

Gunner laughed. "Yeah, Berwald's serious about his driving. Thinks if he goes a kilometre over the speed limit he'll end up in prison. Or run over a class full of children."

"I like f'llowing the law. Unless the law is wrong. And driving laws aren't wrong." He glared in the rear mirror at Gunner.

"I'm interested to hear what laws you think are wrong, though. Do those turtlenecks hide a secret bad boy?" Tino waggled his eyebrows.

Berwald blushed, determinedly looking ahead. "M'driving."

"He's driving," said Gunner, "Did he tell you we've gotten a fair few donations? Mostly from family and people back home. A few friends."

"Oh, that's good!" Tino beamed.

"Not enough to save the centre on its own, but with other charity drives and events, there's still hope." He leaned back. "Now we gotta uphold our end of the bargain."

They parked in a field of cars, and made their way to a second field with desks and tents. At one end, a third field held the starting line, with hay bales to funnel the competitors towards the woods where the rest of the route lay.

The Screaming Pagans - and friends - got registered quickly enough, then began looking for the rest of their group. Tino, Berwald, Gunner, Vidar, Gilbert, Luca, Adriaan and Natalya were all competing, while Tolli, Eduard, Katya and a few others would be cheering them on. It was a bright day, even though it was still cold. Tino helped himself to a cup of coffee; the car journey had already perked him up, and the cold didn't bother him at all now.

Katya had given Eduard and Natalya a lift. They were talking to Isabel: Adriaan and Luca's sister. Another person - a young Kalaallit - stood off to the side. Their dark hair had curls at the tips, and they were dressed in a thick jumper.

Gunner skipped over to them. "Nuka! You made it!"

Nuka shrugged. "The dust museum was closed."

"Aww, don't be like that. You here to cheer me on?"

"No. Vidar said you might die, and I didn't want to miss that."

"I'm not going to die," he scoffed.

"Shame."

Tino stared at Nuka in shock. "Nuka seems pretty mean," he noted. Kukkamuna ran in circles around them.

"Nah, Gunner deserves it," said Berwald. "He's Nuka's step-brother and was a dick to them when they were kids. He's trying to fix things now, but…" He shrugged. "I get it. Gunner's actually my brother as well as my cousin."

Tino's face curled up in disgust. "What?" He tried to draw out a family tree in his head, but it looked more like a spider's web.

"Nothin' weird," Berwald went on hurriedly, "his dad was my mums' sperm donor. Erm, the mum that gave birth to me was the one that wasn't his sister." He was sweating now, despite the weather, and not having done any exercise yet. "My parents aren't s'blings."

"Sounds like something someone who's parents are siblings would say." Berwald looked horrified, so he quickly went on. "Kidding, baby, just messing with you."

"So mean. There wasn't any sweet home Valhallabama."

Tino burst out laughing. "Sweet home Valhallabama!"

"Hey, don't steal my joke, you cuck!" Gunner smacked the back of Berwald's head. "Tino'll find out you're not funny soon enough."

"Gonna drown you in mud 'n make Nuka laugh."

"That would make me laugh," said Nuka, coming over, "oh, got yourself a friend, Berwald?"

"Boyfriend," said Berwald proudly. Hearing him say that made Tino go all funny inside. "This is Tino."

"Oh, Tino," Nuka's eyes widened. "Nice to meet you at last, Tino."

"You've heard of me?" Berwald talked about him a lot, did he?

"Tolli must've mentioned it," said Berwald. "Wanna warm up t'gether, Tino?" He led Tino away from the others.

"Aww, have you been gushing about me?" Tino looked up at him coyly.

Berwald looked away. "Perh'ps." He got stretching. Tino followed along closely.

"So, you and Gunner have the same dad?"

"Y'h, not that I saw him much. Never thought of him as a dad. Walked out on Gunner too. T' be honest, I think he assumed being a sperm donor would be somethin' different."

"Ew, with his sister?" Tino's legs were already burning, and all he'd done was a few stretches. He was going to die.

"Man w's an idiot. Gunner's a saint c'mpared t'him, 'specially now."

"But wow, you're like a reverse Mamma Mia, but with three kids instead of three dads. And yours and Gunner's dad isn't Nuka's dad. And it's not very much like Mamma Mia except the drama, and you being Swedish."

Berwald nodded, trembling slightly.

Tino looked at him. "You okay?"

"Mm."

"We'll be starting soon," Gunner came over, yawning. "Might have to start dawdling towards the starting line. Has he stolen any more of my jokes, Tino?"

"Not that I know of."

"Well, if he says anything particularly funny, it's probably something I said first."

"Well, you must be hilarious then, because Berwald is always making the best jokes," Tino linked his arm with Berwald's. Berwald gave the tiniest smile at that.

"God, you two are sickening," Gunner rolled his eyes.

There were somewhere between fifty to a hundred "athletes" at the starting line. Tino had to hop to see over the heads of the people in front. Gunner snorted at that. Berwald shoved Gunner. Tolli and Eduard had clambered onto one of the hay bales to see them better.

The starting klaxon rang and they surged forward as one mass. Tino gripped Berwald's hand, laughing with joy. He moved his little legs, waved to Eduard, and made for the hills.

Two minutes in, and Tino was almost regretting his decision. As much as he loved all things stupid, ridiculous and eccentric, man did he hate running. Berwald was keeping pace with him, like a good boyfriend, but the guy was making running uphill look so easy. Tino glowered at the tall, beautiful man.

After what felt like forever, they were up the hill and into the forest. Tino's heart was pounding, and he thought he was going to be sick. He hadn't even reached a single obstacle yet.

Berwald waited for him to catch his breath, then the two of them steamed off to catch up with the others.

As the last of the stragglers disappeared over the hill, Tolli climbed back down from the hay bale with Eduard and turned to Katya. "Well now what?"

"We wait."

"For real? But there's nothing to look at!"

Nuka wrinkled their nose. "And there I was thinking I could watch some idiots struggle in the mud."

Katya shrugged. "Time for a picnic, I suppose." She threw down a blanket and rooted around for her picnic hamper.

"It's November!"

"We'll be here for a few hours."

Tolli groaned. "So I don't even get to see them freeze their asses off in a river or anything?"

"Nope." Katya pulled sandwiches and pastries from her hamper. Kukkamuna tried to sniff at them, but Eduard picked her up out of the way.

"This day fucking sucks."

"Not necessarily! I made pumpkin pie."

"Fuck your pumpkin pie!"

Katya looked like she was about to cry. Eduard held her close. "You take that back, young man."

"No."

Katya burst into tears. Eduard balled his feeble hands into fists. "Take it back. Now."

Tolli was about to argue, but instead counted to ten in his head. "Fine, fine, sorry Katya. I got a bit cranky there. Un-fuck your pie, or whatever."

The icy water came up to Berwald's chest. After the initial cold shock, the man shrugged and waded forward. The trench was a few metres wide, and they all had to cross it. Tino, meanwhile, was struggling to stay above the water. He circled his arms and kicked his legs. The others all passed him, Gunner stopping to point and laugh.

Only Luca lagged behind him. He stumbled into the water like a baby cow, shrieking at the cold. His fluffy, blond hair was limp and muddy now, and plastered to his face. He flailed about in the water until he got his bearings, then launched into an awkward breaststroke. According to Adriaan, Luca had bothered with swimming lessons the least out of the three siblings.

A pair of strong arms snaked under Tino's armpits and pulled him up. Tino yelped, craning his neck to see who was touching him, and immediately sighed in relief. Berwald had come back for him. He lifted Tino up and pulled him through the water.

"My hero," cooed Tino. Berwald blushed. They climbed onto the opposite bank to wait for Luca. Tino shyly admired the way Berwald's shirt clung to his pecs. He wanted to suck the mud off Berwald's tits, and lick him clean like a cat.

"I didn't say that out loud, did I?"

"Wh't?"

"Nevermind." Tino looked away, and Berwald snorted.

"Sure, just leave me to struggle," Luca tried to climb onto the bank. They watched him for a while before Gilbert eventually helped him up. "You're all bitches."

"Learn to swim properly," said Adriaan shortly. He turned around and started jogging to the next obstacle. The others helped Luca up and got running.

The rest of the course was a breeze for Tino. He tore through the mud and the dirt, crawled under netting and climbed walls (with Berwald's help). There were tires, monkey bars, rope swings, and so much mud. Tino was sure it was in his ears, his mouth, his stomach, probably.

The Screaming Pagans, Tino, Vidar and Natalya looked half-wild before they were finished. Tino found it especially amusing seeing Natalya so dishevelled and messy; she and Vidar were usually the most beautiful people in the room. Tino dared not make fun of her, though. She'd snap his neck and it would be really embarrassing to come and go at the same time.

The whole course took nearly two hours, winding through the forest and back round to the starting field. When the group broke through the trees, Tino looked like Morph and had sweat more than he had in his life. Given the amount of leather he wore, it was some feat indeed. Natalia's hair looked like a bird's nest, and Luca was barely standing. Even Gunner was quieter than usual.

"All downhill from here," he called, the first thing he'd said in five minutes. "Let's go together!"

"One for all, and all for one!" Gilbert took Gunner's hand. Gunner grinned and took Adriaan's, who took Luca's. And so they went, Tino finding himself between Vidar and Berwald. With a cheer, they ran towards the finish line. Gunner cackled wildly, and Tino found himself laughing too. The sun was a spotlight on them, showing the world that they had completed a very big obstacle course.

They crossed the finish line with the other competitors to the roar of cheers. The crowd was a mess of exhausted glee. "We're the best!" called Gunner. Luca doubled over and threw up. A few people squealed and jumped away from him.

Eduard ran forward to hug Tino, then backed away at the sight of so much mud. Tino grinned wickedly and began to chase him.

"Mud time!" he called.

Eduard shrieked and ran.

"What's wrong, Ed? Don't you want my mud?"

"No!" He hid behind Katya.

"Come give me a hug, Ed!"

"No! Save me!"

"Don't bully him!" cried Katya, close to tears, "he's just a little guy! He's my baby!"

"I'm just a little guy!" said Tino, "A little guy who wants to share his mud."

"Share it with Berwald!" Eduard told him.

"I might just do that." Tino shook his head and wandered back to his boyfriend. He'd never wanted a shower so badly in his life. He'd finally become the swamp monster he'd been slowly turning into. And yet, Berwald was looking at him like he was the most precious gem in the world. Tino was enraptured by those eyes.

Covered in mud and dripping wet, with laughter in their eyes, Tino and Berwald kissed for the crowd. There was cheering, the loudest being from Gunner. Berwald's lips tasted like mud, but Tino didn't care. He held him tenderly, hands on Berwald's muscular arms. He was in heaven.

When Tino pulled away, he caught Vidar's eye. To Tino's surprise, Vidar had a sour expression that cut right through him. Suddenly, Tino could feel the full force of the cold air around him.

Whilst Gunner and Berwald were taking it in turns to slap each other with handfuls of mud, Vidar approached Tino. "Can I ask you something?"

Tino looked up from where he was doubled over, wondering if he was having a heart attack. He probably wasn't, but his chest hurt. His whole body hurt. "You just did." Kukkamuna watched over her owner dutifully.

"Can I ask another?"

"You just did."

"My girlfriend has a knife."

"Hot. My boyfriend has a sword collection."

"Tino."

"Fine, ask away."

Vidar took a deep breath. "What would you say your intentions with Berwald are?"

"Kinky sex, duh."

Vidar made a face. "You disgust me."

"You asked! And why do you want to know?"

"No reason," Vidar looked away. "Boyfriend, huh?"

"Yes, we're going nice and steady, and it's amazing. I feel all these things I've never felt before."

Vidar looked at him curiously. "You do?"

"Yeah! Like, I have never wanted to eat a guy's ass before, but Berwald just makes me think about trying new things. I want to spit in his butt."

"Be serious for just one second."

"Fine, what do you want to seriously know?"

"Have you…?"

Tino stared at him. "Why do you want to know that? Doesn't seem like your business." Vidar shrugged. "If you really must know, we haven't."

Vidar nodded. He looked like he was about to ask something else. The words wouldn't come out, though, so Tino rolled his eyes and walked off.

I don't want any hate towards Greenland here. I'm not writing them as a villain, I just think they should be allowed to tell Denmark to fuck off and die every now and again. As a treat.

Also when my dad did a Tough Mudder literally all of it was out of sight. The competitors disappeared into a forest, I sat in a field looking at a frog, then a few hours later everyone turned up covered in mud.