Training Day III:

Arietis, Rammestien, 18
District 2 Male

"Fuck. I don't like this. I don't want that cannon fodder in my alliance. He provides nothing!"

"I know," Olympia sighs. "Arietis, you've been complaining nonstop. But Prism, Cy, and Avonlea want him. We're outnumbered."
"What about Vivian? She's gotta be on our side."
"I don't think Vivian cares."

Olympics shifts her seat away from me a little, but fuck is she right. Where's that grasp I so desperately wanted to maintain on the Career pack? How did I go from the big scary threat, as Vivian pointed out, to just another killer in an alliance of killers? How does Prism overshadow me?

It feels like my control is starting to slip and I'm just another face in the pack. Oh yeah, Arietis Rammestien is there too. Just another face in this stupid little crowd. Nobody's afraid of him, not to the point he has any say. God fucking damnit, this is not how I wanted any of this to go.

Lyme comes back with a tray of coffee cups. "What's going on?"
"Arietis is mad that Prism wants Ganbataar added to our alliance and he's outnumbered."

I glare at Olympia and she has the audacity to guiltily look away from me and into the French toast on her plate. Lyme can't be bothered to care this early in the morning. "Well, did you try expressing that sentiment to your allies? Explain your thought process clearly?"

I scoff. "I shouldn't need to. Or else I'm gonna come off looking like a bitch."
"Bitch is a lifestyle, not a sentiment."

Olympia giggles into her food and I just drain half of my coffee in a single sip. So if this is how they're gonna be, then fine. I don't need them. I don't need either of them.

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? I don't know and quite frankly, I don't even care. I just so desperately want that control and authority. I want something to go my way because it feels like nothing has. Nothing has gone wrong either, but it feels like I should have so much more than I do now.

It's nothing like being back home in 2, where I was the king of the Academy and everyone was rooting for my success. Sure, there were people who wanted me to fall, but they were very few and very easy to snuff out. An accident here, a threat there, and I could waltz into the volunteering position unchallenged.

It's so different here. It's nothing like I thought it would be and I hate it.

"Remember," Lyme says before Olympia and I get into the elevator. "You've got the Private Sessions this afternoon. I suggest taking some time to brush up on the skills you want to showcase beforehand. Not that I think either of you will need it, but better to be safe than sorry, no?"

Olympia nods. I don't. I don't need to "brush up". What kind of amateur does she take me for?

"Why don't we just tell him to leave?" I say on the elevator ride down. I highly doubt Prism or Vivian or awake right now and nobody else is on here, which just leaves the two of us. Good.
"I don't know," Olympia admits. "I don't want Prism to be mad at me."
"Who cares what they think?"

"They're just…um…kinda loud. And good with hatchets. I don't wanna get on their bad side or anything."
"You're gonna get on their bad side anyways. We gotta kill them if we want to take the victory home."

Olympia winces. "Do we have to have this talk now?"
"Fine. We don't have to. If you're complacent being Prism's little lapdog, go right ahead."
"I didn't mean it like that…"

The elevator stops and I barge past her onto the floor. I make a beeline straight for the spears, pick one up, and skewer a dummy right through the heart. I keep doing it over and over until the trainer tells me he's actually run out of spears and has to go collect them from the dummies.

I remember back home how the younger kids would argue over who got to do that for me.

Vivian shows up after a while. "You weren't kidding about being a heartbreaker."
"Fuck off. I'm busy."
"Are you?"

"Well…no." The trainer isn't back yet. I stick my hands in my pockets because they have nowhere else to go. "Don't you have knives to be throwing?"
"Meh. I can take a break. And do you have a spear up your ass?"

"Very funny." The trainer finally restocks the spear. I throw another one and aim for the neck.
"I'm serious. You look like you're in a shitty mood."
"I just don't feel like dealing with your district partner. I can't get a say in this stupid Career pack."

"What if you don't need one?" Vivian asks and it's the strange inflection to her voice that doesn't cause me to immediately snap at her for saying something so damn stupid.
"What does that mean?"
"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Hit me." I shrug and lean down so my ear is right up to Vivian's lips. And then she whispers. And…oh. Oh.

"You sure about this?"
"Yeah. But not right now, obviously. We just gotta stick with the pack until we're ready for that. Then you don't have to deal with the extra numbers the whole time."

I admit I thought Vivian was really just a pretty face at first, and now I think she's doing it on purpose. Really, you have to have a lot in that noggin to ever dare to plan something like this and hope it works. Traitors are never rewarded and we're definitely not playing a loyal game.

It's quite a simple plan: we split from the Careers the moment they become useless to us.

Cameron Solidago, 12
District 9 Male

Vick continues to rub the stick between his hands. Nothing happens. It's been like that for five minutes and I have a feeling nothing's going to happen at all.

After a while longer, his palms become all red and he drops the stick. "This hurts."
"Can I try?" Linh asks. "I think you're holding it wrong."
"Why can't we just use a match?"

"Because we're probably not gonna have any in the arena," Linh points out. "Duh," they quickly add after a few seconds. Vick rolls his eyes but still snickers.

Linh rubs the stick faster, ignoring the marks it leaves behind on their hands. "I think I got it. Cameron, some help?"
"Sure." Maybe something will happen between the two of us. Vick fixes the kindling. It takes a couple more minutes but I swear I catch a glimpse of smoke and then-

"There it is. Nice work, Linh!" Vick lights up when the tiniest of flames appears. He throws down some kindling. "We can't smother it."

Gradually, the kindling is consumed and we watch as our little fire grows bigger and bigger until I can feel the warmth radiating off my face. It's entrancing.

"Where's Tati?" Vick asks, feeding a leaf to the fire and jerking his hand back once it's gone. "Is she back at edible plants?"
"They don't like it when you eat the berries," I add not-so helpfully, not like I'm going to be that helpful anyway. "Believe me, I tried."

Nobody laughs at my joke. Linh shakes their head. "She wouldn't really like this kind of stuff. I worry the fire might scare her a little."
"You're really close to her," Vick muses.
"I suppose so. I've never had a little sister before. I guess I thought it would be nice if I did."

"Huh." Vick puffs his chest out a little. "Not me. I like being an only child."

I wonder if I would ever want a little sister, since Sophie doesn't count. It would be nice not to be the youngest, because then everyone doesn't go around treating me like a little kid since there's someone else to smother with that reputation. She'd probably be my responsibility, since everyone else would be too busy to look after her, but that doesn't feel like a bad sacrifice. I could mold her into a mini-me just for fun.

But then I remember who my siblings are and what they say when they think nobody else is listening. And I don't believe I could ever possibly force a baby brother or sister to shoulder that burden.

"Do you have any siblings? Cameron?" It takes me a second to register who Linh's talking to. "Hey. Earth to Cameron."
"Me? Oh yeah, I have a few. Four older sisters, and five older brothers."

"Yeesh. That's more than a few." Vick stops feeding kindling to the fire. Slowly, it begins to die out. "That's a lot. Sounds like your parents got busy."
"That's rude, Vick!" Linh flicks a leaf at him, then shakes a finger when Vick ducks. "But is your house super noisy?"

"It's not as loud as everyone thinks it is. Everyone's often out doing their own thing. I get a lot of time to go hang out with my friends and stuff. Oh, and babysit my niece. My oldest sister had a baby last year. Her name's Sophie and she's super cute."

Linh and Vick both swoon at the same time, which is pretty funny. Walker shows up and proceeds to ruin the moment. "Guys, what are you doing? Private Sessions are in forty-five minutes! We gotta practice our important skills before they kick us out for lunch!"
"Fire making is an important skill," Linh insists.

"Yeah, but nobody's gonna think you're cool just because you can start fires. That's lame. We're gonna get laughed at. If we want good scores, we have to show them something really awesome. Like weapons and stuff. That's cool."
I just shrug as a rebuttal. Walker's not a bad guy, goodness knows I've seen worse. He's just…well…

As one of my brothers would say, he's got his head up his ass. I don't repeat it out loud, in case Walker feels like playing the role of my dad and smacking me on the forehead for being so crude.

"He's kinda right," Vick admits once Walker heads back to the gauntlet. Like running really fast is a cooler skill than fire starting. "We gotta get good scores or else everyone's gonna see us as a bunch of easy pickings and I don't want that."
"I don't know what to do," Linh says. "I guess I could run the edible plants test, but it's basically nothing. I can't throw a knife to save my life."

I feel like I'm in the same boat as Linh, because I have no idea what I could possibly show off for my Private Session either. If only there was a way to demonstrate how good I am at keeping dirty secrets. That's a skill they don't teach you in training.

Mila Estedon, 16
District 3 Female

"God, I'm so fucked. I'm so, so, fucked."

Loire frowns at the meager amount of food on my plate, especially in comparison to hers, but I have no idea how she could potentially stomach anything right now. If I eat more than a handful of roast beef and a single bread roll, I might actually throw up. I hate throwing up.

"What am I supposed to do? I don't feel like I'm good at anything! They're gonna laugh me out of the Session and I'll get the lowest score! Maybe a 2 if I'm lucky."

"Oh, you'll do much better than that." Loire scoops some squash from her plate onto mine. "What I think you should do right now is take a deep breath. Take a few. Get yourself much calmer and then you can think about what you're gonna showcase."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do. It's gonna suck."
"You'll do just fine."
"I really don't know."

I've seen Loire's art in the past few days and I have to force myself not to feel jealous. How she so easily produces stuff like that without breaking a sweat or having to think or worry. Who cares painting is technically not a survival skill? All that matters is that the Gamemakers will be blown away and give her a high score because of it.

Painting is so far out of the question for me I might as well not even think about it. I think of the weapons I've been trying to learn. Knives, daggers, smaller weapons like that. Or even the ropes course. I guess I could show it off. But it won't matter since it won't even look good.

My biggest fear is that I've been focusing on the wrong thing.

I remember that big argument I had with my sister when the report cards came home and she had all the high marks in the subjects that mattered? Me, not so much. That was a horrible night that I don't wish to repeat and I'm not gonna do it here. I don't want to do that again. Not make my failure a big public spectacle where everyone can see-

"Mila." Loira nudges my arm. "Hey. Calm down."
"I can't…"
"Breathe. Breathe with me. In…out…"

I shake my head. My heart feels like it's going to burst from my chest. My lungs sting in a desperate need for more air. I want to slow down my breathing. I can't.
"Come on. You can do it. I'll do it with you. Take a deep breath in, and let it out."

In. And out. In, and out. My hands don't feel as shaky anymore. Loira gently clasps one and suddenly starts fiddling with my fingers. When she catches me staring, she lets go. "I'm sorry."
"What are you doing?"
"Something I used to do with my cousin. It was my way of communicating with her."

"Is it like sign language?" I try to copy the same movement Loire was making, but I have no idea where to even start.
"Kind of. I can teach you some, if you'd like."
"That would be cool. Too bad I'm a horrible student."

Loire chuckles. "Please. The fact that you're interested puts you ahead of most people."

A whistle blows. Lunch is over. Private Sessions are ready. Loire gives me a fist bump for good luck and I realize that my breathing's finally slowed down.

Then it's picking up again and…no, no, no, no. Now is not the time to panic. I can't panic, or I won't be ready for my Session and then I'll fuck everything up. Come on, Mila, get your head in the game! Take deep breaths, in and out, in and out…

I can do this. I'll be alright.

There's only five people ahead of me. Thank God I'm not going last, because I don't think I'd be able to handle it at all. Hopefully the Gamemakers won't feel too bored out of their minds when they get to me.

The Careers go first, smiling proudly to themselves as if they know they'll just ace everything. Must be nice to be so confident.

An hour passes by a lot slower than it has any right to. Vick suddenly leaves and now I'm up next. I just wish he'd hurry up and get everything over with, but he still exits too soon for my liking.

And then it's my turn.

I sneak a quick glance behind me and Loire gives me a thumbs up. I take one last deep breath for good measure and walk inside. My feet feel like lead weights. I don't even register where I'm going, just that I'm walking somewhere.

Athos Leigh-Snow looks even more terrifying up close. He barely glances at me as if I couldn't possibly be worth his time. Somehow, that's a little more comforting than if he were to never take his eyes off me.
"State your name and what you'll be demonstrating."

"Um…hi. I'm Mila Estedon and for my session, I'll be…"

Ah, training chapters. My least favourite part to write.

Next up will be the Private Sessions. So stay tuned for that and I'll see you all in the next chapter,

-Vr