X-Squad: Carmen Sandiego

by garshishoe

Prepare for laughter-induced side effects, spontaneous dance routines, and an insatiable craving for popcorn as chaos reigns supreme. If you start to plan heists in your sleep or feel an urge to bust out some sick dance moves, contact your local holy figure for backup. Viewer discretion is strongly advised – this musical escapade might just be too catchy for your own good!

2. Day with Giff and King comeback

AN: You know what they say, prepare your brain cells. Also, keep opinions to yourself, I'm sick of conforming to people's egos because of boo hoo, I'm 'plagiarizing', LIKE SHUT UP, LET ME WRITE!

---

"Are you guys sure we are doing this right?" Ruby said, as they were doing a team dust project.

"I'm certain this is how it's supposed to be." Weiss said, as she was an expert on dust.

She didn't even realize that she had added a little too much of a sample of white dust to the mixture.

"So what is this stuff supposed to do?" Blake asked, as she couldn't actually figure out what they were doing.

"It's supposed to be a high grade explosive." Weiss said, as she looked back at her.

"And we are messing with this in class because?" She said, as a glitching dragon monster spoke up.

"Because I needed something to move the plot along!" He said, as everyone just looked at him as he disappeared.

"Anyways, just one little sample left and we should be good to go..." Weiss said, as she added a bit more.

BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!

An explosion rang throughout the classroom, the entire place was suddenly covered in a thick fog. With Team RWBY right in the middle of it.

"DANG IT WEISS!" Yang yelled out, as she was coughing up flem.

"I SWEAR I HAD IT RIGHT!" She said, as she was coughing back.

"I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!" Blake yelled, as she didn't know what to do.

"Weiss, can't you use a glyph to blow this out of the way?!" Ruby said, as Weiss nodded.

"Just give me a second! It's hard to focus with all this dust around!" She said, as she started to concentrate.

Thank god she could use her semblance without her weapon.

"And here we go!" She said, as her glyph created a great gust of wind.

"Ah there we go! Now let's go apologize to... Goodwitch..." Ruby said, as everyone looked around.

"Uh, where are we?" Yang said, as they were not in the classroom anymore.

Instead they were in some sort of small living room with a couch and a TV.

"That's a good question." Weiss said, as she was embarrassed that she messed up the project.

"Team RWBY!" They looked up at the ceiling.

"Miss Goodwitch?!" They yelled, as he was looking at them through a portal on the ceiling.

"Of all the things you could have done! You created a NEW dust mixture!" She yelled, as Weiss spoke up.

"Uhm, actually, I just added a bit too much dust to the project." Weiss said, looking away.

"Either way, it seems like you somehow have transported yourself to another part of Remnant. It could take us forever to track you down, you're lucky there is still a sample of dust here we can replicate to understand what you did. Until then, stay put until we find you." She said, as the portal closed.

"Well...crap..." Yang said, as this was not good.

"We're in some stranger's house, this is not going to look good if they think we're trespassing." Blake said, as everyone looked around.

"Doesn't look like anyone's home..." Weiss said as she looked out the window.

"Guys...I think we may have really screwed up this time..." She said as they all went over to the window.

Instead of the familiar cites of Remnant, all they saw as far as the eye could see was...A city.

With lots of weird creatures.

"Where the heck did you blast us to Weiss?!" Blake yelled as she was not liking this.

"Well, looks like we may have been blasted to the countryside..." She said, as she can't believe she made a teleportation dust.

"Why are there so many monsters? Some of them even look like Grimm!" Ruby asked as she looked over it all.

"I don't know, but at least there are a few buildings here and there." Blake said as she stuck her head outside.

"And we appear to be in some sort of community." She said as she came back inside.

"Hey look at this!" Ruby said as she held up a sword.

"Apparently, the owner likes to collect swords!" She said as she held up a cavalry saber.

"RUBY! Is it really appropriate to go through people's stuff?!" Weiss said, as Ruby paused.

"Nope! But it's okay, we'll just get out of here before they come back!" She said as she picked up a tomahawk.

While the team knew better, they had to admit Ruby had a point. What was the harm in looking around just a little bit? Besides, the owner seemed to keep a lot of this stuff within reach, apparently they didn't have any kids. Ruby was now geeking out at the weapon collection. She found axes, swords, tomahawks, knives, a bow and arrow, and some other weird weapons.

Blake in the meantime had found a book shelf in one of the rooms and was looking over the titles of books. Some which she had never heard of.

"Rise of Theodore Roosevelt...1776...The fighting tomahawk guide...The Way of the fight...Saga Of The Icelanders...oh what is this one?" She thought as she found a book hiding under the others.

"The House of Night." She read the title to herself as she opened it up.

She needed something to hold her off since she didn't have her copy of Ninjas Of Love on her.

Yang found some basic workout equipment, which literally was a pair of dumbbells and a barbell with a few weight plates. So not much to look at. She did however find a selection of movies that interested her.

"Hmm...Warrior? A movie about two brothers fighting in an MMA tournament? Sounds awesome! But why have I never heard of this till now?" She said, as she was surprised that she had only just heard of this movie.

Especially since she was always on the lookout for fighting movies.

Weiss was trying to find some music to listen to. But some of the selections were indeed odd.

"What the heck is Ice Nine Kills? Skillet? Miku? Toby Keith? Within Temptation? Does this person not have anything I know?" She said as she had been used to fancy hoity toity music.

She decided to just listen to Within Temptation, which sounded fancy.

Then, Blake found a flag with stars and stripes on it. As well as another flag that seemed to be made up of stars and bars, except it was in a glass case like it was a history display or something. She also found some strange statues of bearded men with swords and armor. In a way, they reminded her a bit of Nora. She had no idea why.

"Apparently they like booze..." Yang said as she found bottles upon bottles of Mead, Whiskey, More Mead, something called Guinness, and even more Mead. Geez, either they party a lot, or they just really liked the taste of alcohol.

"Seriously? Does Uncle Qrow even have this much?" Ruby said as she saw the bottle upon bottle.

"I think they may have a problem." Blake said as she was enamored in the book she was reading.

Such a powerful vampire school accepting a young vampire that is connected to the literal god of the night herself, it was BREATHTAKING.

"I AIN'T AS GOOD AS I ONCE WAS!" They heard a man singing very drunkenly.

"Are you a princess in this world?!" Another said. "Princess Yuina?!"

"Well...that answers that question." Weiss said as they heard a doorknob turning.

"Wait! Crap, we aren't supposed to be here!" Yang said as she suddenly remembered why they were there.

"We got to-" Blake was cut off as they saw a band of oddballs enter the fray.

One example was a dragon monster whose main weapon was a HUGE minigun that could probably challenge Cocoa's. Another was a pirate man that had an absolutely ridiculous amount of explosives as well as a bunch of pirate weapons. One was an elf girl with strange machines, a wicked looking turret being one of them. And the last example was a young girl in a plant-based red and black dress who seemed to be the teleporter of the group, with a large scythe with vines on it.

The girls were talking amongst themselves about these newcomers. Ruby couldn't help but excitedly scream about all the cool weapons these people had.

"DO YOU SEE THAT MINIGUN?! IT WAS HUGE!" Ruby screamed.

"Yeah, we all saw it Rubes. It was kinda hard to miss." Yang said.

"So how do you propose we go about this?" Weiss said, uncertain of how to deal with these guys.

"I think we should be careful. I mean, these guys seem like they could fight really well, and there are a lot of them and only four of us." Blake mused.

Yang brushed off the silly kitty. "Puh-lease! I can take them all by myself! Right Ruby?...Ruby?"

Ruby was busy fantasizing about these people's weapons. You know… she is what is essentially a weapon pervert and all. Yang gave a gentle smack to her head and told her to snap out of it.

"Uh! What!? What?"

"What should we do when we meet these guys, oh glorious leader?" Yang teasingly said to her younger sister.

"Oh! Uh…" she trailed off. "Maybe we should try talking to them?" Ruby innocently said.

"What!? Are you crazy?!" Weiss screamed.

"Uhhhhhhh…well…you never know! Maybe they're nice people?" Ruby reasoned. "Just because they look scary doesn't mean they're bad, right?"

Then, a young boy with dragon features fell onto the bed as Roman sat on it. His sword was on the ground and he didn't seem to be worried about the girls approaching him. He was drinking from a literal keg of beer. As soon as she saw how strong he was, Ruby began having serious doubts about just running up to say hello to them, but now it was too late, and she was forced to speak first as Roman turned around, only to stare in shock as Ruby and Yang's jaws dropped at the site of the crime boss, who they believed died at Beacon's Fall, having a drink and questioning his life decisions.

"Hi there!" Ruby beamed with a big friendly smile, trying not to shake.

"Good morrow." The boy with no mouth or nose drunkenly said.

"Fuck my life," Roman said under his breath.

"Um…what?" The sisters said in confusion. Did the dragon boy not speak their language? If so then it would get really awkward.

"Hello." the boy said, the girls were relieved. He can speak their language.

"Hi! I'm Ruby, and this is my sister Yang. We're huntresses, graduated from Atlas Academy, formerly studied at Beacon Academy." Ruby introduced themselves to the young. The kid stood up after stumbling a bit and shaking it off, almost getting himself tied up in Gambol Shroud, his wings a staggering 7 feet in height, and extending his hands to the girls. Ruby got a little scared and took a small step back when he reached his full height.

"Okay. Soooo… who are you guys?" Yang questioned further.

"Me and my team are the X-Squad, the Black Ops specialist team of the OmniVerse Defense Force, and we destroyed the place because a bat zombie attacked us with a dragon freak and he's part of one of the weirdest and nicest demon rock bands ever made." Voidlon picked a toy dragon off the ground to emphasize his point, his hands tied up.

"Yep, definitely a dream. Wait, why's Voidlon's hands tied up? Oh...OH it's one of THOSE dreams. Well, Blake is here and she's got the bondage weapon, which would make sense." Satsuki said as Blake blushed.

"EXCUSE ME?!" She yelled.

"Oh come on, a part of your weapon is literally used for tying things up, how is that not a BDSM undertone?" She said as Blake suddenly realized something.

"Wait, how do you know about my weapon?" She said as the girl sighed.

"Oh please, do you really think I don't know facts about one of my favorite TV shows, even if it went downhill after Volume 5?" Satsuki asked as they all looked confused.

"Right..." The girls said.

"Hey, Ice Princess looks like an absolute treat." She began.

"We're under 18." Almost all the girls said, scared at the girl as they thought of where she was going with this, with Weiss blushing at how nonchalant she said that.

The squad had all stood up when the girls entered the room, and were giving them questionable looks while the girls tensed up from being in their presence. The looks were mainly directed at Voidlon as he just let some kids in here.

"It's nice to meet you all!" Ruby beamed.

"Oui, a pleasure to meet you girls as well." Louise said as she read a book with Lune. "Now, why are you here?" Her eyes then shifted toward Myretnaster on Weiss' hip. "...and with weapons no less." Team RWBY took a quick moment to look at each other before answering her.

"An accident at Atlas." Blake stated.

"I'm guessing you're... students then?" Kanade asked with a brow raised.

"That's right! We're huntresses!" Ruby said proudly. She gave Yang a fist bump with a little explosion noise. Her mood died when the squad gave them blank looks.

"What the hell is a huntress?" Mera questioned.

"It's a female hunter, dumbass." Roman said over her shoulder.

"Huntress? Well I heard of young ladies going out with their fathers hunting before, but a whole job about it?" Snatcher questioned while his team had their full attention on the girls.

"Oh no, it's not a job of hunting animals!" Ruby waved her hands. "It's being protectors of peace and justice!" She said proudly. "Slaying Grimm and beating bad guys is what we do best!" The squad still didn't seem to understand.

"So whatever this place is, it gives weapons to teenagers to go out and kill things." Ridley face clawed. "I've seen some outlandish things before, but this is by far one of the most idiotic." He's seen some pretty strange and stupid things, especially with his fellow pirates.

"Hey!" Yang growled, but she was held back by Blake.

"Well... I'm sorry you think that way, but it's true. I'm surprised you didn't know that... Everybody in Remnant knows that, don't you?" The silver eyed girl tilted her head in questioning cuteness.

"Remnant..." Voidlon looked back to his teammates. "We have a name for where they're from now..." This confused the girls. It seemed like these people hadn't a clue of where they were at all.

Voidlon's eyes suddenly shot awake along with the rest of the squad as he noticed his four guests.

"Uh, Good morning?" Ruby said this time.

"WHAAAAT THE FUCK?!" Mystletainn screamed like Jaune at his initiation.

Yuina waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"MA! PA! GET THE GUNS!"

[I GOT JERICHO MISSILES]

---

A few seconds later..

---

"Well that didn't go as planned." Weiss said as they were now hiding behind a giant block of concrete while the squad from before and six other people were now pointing firearms at them.

Two of them seemed in their 30s and the male looked like a shark monster that kinda looked like a pelican, and one of them was an elderly woman wearing a kitchen apron brandishing an M1 Garand while the guy with a beard was aiming a Glock 15, a monster under the bed was duel wielding double barreled sawed-off shotguns, a horse man was holding a rifle. While the young girl was sporting an AR 15, and the couple stuck with their mosin nagants and the squad stuck to their weapons as Hime brought two Glocks and Iona brought a MG-42. Needless to say, this was not going well.

"Can't we talk about this?!" Yang would usually use her semblance, but everyone was worried that might only make things worse.

"Come out where we can see you!" Yuina said, as her family nodded.

"Put the guns down!" Weiss said, as she was trying to avoid a confrontation.

"I'll flank them from the side, you guys stay here." Mystle said as she went off into the woodline.

In reality, Yuina's family had no idea what the hell was going on, but they heard 'get the guns' and immediately came out armed. Plus the fact that there were four unknown people on their property meant time to go boogaloo on their asses. For all they know, it could be ATF here because they got a tip about the weapons they have that were off the books.

"Ma'am! Will you just calm down." Blake said as Mystle was now aiming a Glock at them.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN? There are enemies of Roman and Neo in the house right now! And you're telling me to calm down?" She said as they felt a little hurt.

"Hey!" Ruby said.

"But that's the point! You shouldn't be here! You're not even supposed to be real! Even if all the fanboys and fangirls got their wish, this doesn't make any sense!" Momoko said, welding a Uzi 9mm, as nobody knew how to calm her down.

"We assure you, we are not here to harm you." Weiss said in a soothing tone.

"Oh really?" She said as they suddenly remembered they hadn't cleaned that up.

"HEY! You were flirting with Weiss!" Ruby said trying to defend herself.

"I DO NOT REMEMBER THAT! MYSTLE WAS PROBABLY DRUNK! We were out with Yuina and Hime and Iona, and those bitches knew how to drink!" Mera said as she had never known a Fangire or demon could consume that much alcohol, or that Hime has a special head tie just for drinking and Iona did yoga and gymnastics while utterly schwasted, also that Hime never had a hangover or that Iona has perfect balance. Let alone Seiren gets weirdly paranoid when drunk and is convinced everyone is judging her for how 'weird' she's acting, as well as being borderline psychic with her predictions of how the party will go.

"Why are we scared? We're trained huntresses! They're just some civilians." Yang said as all of a sudden something got launched over the concrete block they were hiding behind.

It was a bucket full of some weird substance that they didn't recognize.

"Wait a second…" Weiss said as she took a good look at it.

"THAT'S TANNERITE!" She yelled as she recognized the substance.

"DAMN STRAIGHT!" Eddie said as he took aim from the woodline.

"OH SHIT!" Blake said as everyone started to run.

Eddie and Hibiki both let one round go, and it hit the bucket, causing a decent sized explosion, which while it did hurt the assembled group of huntresses, their aura was enough to keep them safe.

"Oof….." Ruby said as she face planted in the ground.

"Just some civilians Yang?" Blake said as the girl was starting to regret it now.

"FREEZE!" The elderly woman said as the horseman pointed a rifle at Blake's face.

"Wait a minute…." She said as she noticed everyone was unharmed.

"Yuina! It didn't work!"

"What do you mean it didn't work! They were like two feet away from it!"

"It's a miracle!"

"I don't believe it!"

Yuina walked up and noticed that sure enough, everyone was unharmed, aside from a few dusty clothes, nobody had any wounds despite the fact they just took a tannerite bucket at close range.

"Well shit, what a waste of tannerite…" Yuina said as Weiss glared at her.

"Are you crazy?! You could have hurt us!"

"You're trespassing!"

"…..Look, please just give us a chance to explain ourselves." Weiss said trying to be diplomatic.

"You have ten seconds."

"That's a little."

"9."

"Okay! We told you! We're huntresses from the world of-"

"Bullshit, 5."

"Weiss! Prove it!"

And with that, Weiss slammed a hand down in the ground.

Only to summon a Grimm Griffon construct.

Which had one of two effects.

First one was the family of five, the monster, the horseman, demon and her mate, two cats, and X-Squad nearly dropping their weapons in awe at the sight in front of them.

And the second one was shooting the shit out of it.

"BOOGALOO TIME BITCHES!" Seiren shouted as the construct was soon shot to death.

[wait, we murdered a construct?]

[yeah, why?]

[how did we?]

[wait what]

[ yo what the fuck ]

[clickity clack your fuckin games are wack]

[ this isn't a video game how the fuck ]

MistressofAllEvil: [Whaddya mean? I downloaded Fortnite yesterday!]

SeaWitch: [Wasn't yesterday 200 years ago by omniverse time, Maleficent?]

MistressofAllEvil: [Shut.]

[uhhhh]

MistressofAllEvil: [SHUT.]

The family froze for a bit while they decided what to do next.

"So….this is real….." Yuina said as she pinched herself again to make sure this wasn't a dream.

At this, the family had no idea what was going on. On one hand, they just saw a young girl summon some weird ass creature from out of nowhere. The four people were dressed up as cosplayers, but Yuina now knew they weren't cosplayers at all. The rest of her family were just as confused. And they prided themselves on being prepared, but this was something new.

They had a plan for when the alphabet mafia came.

They had a plan for when Beto came.

They had a plan for home invaders.

A plan for lawyers.

A plan for monster hunters.

A plan for any Kamen Rider or Sentai or even PreCure monster trying to start shit.

A plan for Kaixa.

A plan for robbers.

A plan for Jehovah's Witnesses.

A plan for white kids trying to steal Eddie's PS5.

A plan for the Bakano Kids.

A plan for traveling salesmen.

But, this was not something they ever thought they would need a plan for. Four anime characters popping up out of nowhere with no particular explanation, and they couldn't be harmed by their normal weapons because of Aura. Needless to say, they had no idea how to handle this.

"Should we just use more bullets?" Johnathan suggested.

"NO!" Everyone else said.

"Look, now that we know something is obviously fucked up, Maybe we should try to be more diplomatic." Yuina suggested.

Team RWBY all sighed in relief.

"And if that doesn't work?" Akane asked.

"Then we use a metric fuckton of bullets."

And the relief was gone.

While they had aura to protect them, and it would negate most attacks, Aura did have a limit. And if they had as much tannerite and bullets as Weiss thought, they might have a problem..

"Alright Ice Queen." Roman said suspiciously as he walked up to Weiss.

"Explain this to me as if I'm an idiot."

"Long story short, Weiss over there blew us up and we ended up here." Ruby said as Leo looked at her.

"Isn't that your job, Little Red?" He said, as Ruby's head fell down.

"Even here, I can't escape that nickname." She said, as Yang was chuckling.

"Anyways, I need a drink." Roman said as he walked over to a bottle labeled 'Jack Daniels.'

He got out two shot glasses, filled the glasses up, and then pushed them aside for Kanade, and started to drink out of the bottle.

"I think you may have a bit of a problem..." Yang said as she was surprised he could take that much.

"At this point, I don't know what to do. At least with Mr. Daniels, I can calm down." He said, as Voidlon went out on the deck and started up the grill.

"Look, how about I make some breakfast and we talk this over?" Voidlon said as they all looked at each other.

"What are we having?" Weiss said as he held up a few packs of ramen.

"Breakfast Ramen." Kanade said as Blake spoke up.

"Could I have mine cooked please?" She said as Kanade immediately whipped around in and stared at her in horror. "...Did you deadass just try to tell me that you want cooked ramen? I'm going to fucking cry, we just gotta deep fry ya." She lamented as Blake quickly stuttered out apologies.

"If you want it cooked, you will only be able to get raw, cause we only eat crunchy ramen in this house." Yuina said as Voidlon went outside.

"WAIT! We still don't know your name?" Ruby asked.

"Oh yeah, well, You can just call me Voidlon." He said as he finally got around to throwing the ramen in the microwave.

He went outside to go and cook the ramen in the cabinet. Meanwhile the team was not sure what to do. On one hand, he seemed harmless when he wasn't drinking, the only problem was so far he seemed to always be drinking. Course that may have just been the cause of stress. Either way, he was still eccentric as hell.

"FUCKING SEAGULLS! GET OUT OF HERE!" They heard him yell.

"Uh, are you okay?" Yang asked, as he poked his head out.

"I'm fine, damn gulls fly over head nearly stealing my food." Voidlon said.

"He sounds like a pissed off teen right now."

"Yeah, kind of a switch when he sounded like a happy probably bi drunk guy." Ruby said as Voidlon popped his head in.

"First off, fuck gender, I can be sexually attracted to anyone whether they're girls, boys, pals, or anything in between, if they're cute and have a good personality, well fuck it, I'll sate you if you like me back. I just never thought gender was an important factor when dating. So yes. I'm pansexual. Second off, you realize I can still hear you guys right?" He said as he said as they now noticed that the door he closed was actually a screen.

"Sorry..." Ruby said kicking the ground.

He rolled his eyes. Meanwhile they all decided to just sit in silence and process what was happening. So they were stuck in some alternate reality or some shit where they were actually a tv show. They were in the house of what appeared to be a pansexual different breed of Grimm with a penchant for alcohol. And to top it all off. That same guy was living with someone that threatened to murder Blake for wanting cooked ramen.

"Dig in." He said, as he threw the ramen on the table.

"Uhmm." Weiss said as she saw the ramen was kinda burnt.

"Relax, it's allowed to be like that, really brings out the flavor." He said as they all sat down.

"So...where are we?" Yang asked as she was taking bites out of her ramen.

"Well, you're in Seinarushima City, in the country of the good ol' USA. In other words, the things you'll see around here are gonna get freaky." He said as if that was true for people in Seinarushima.

"Okay, we have no idea what you're talking about, which just solidifies our stance that we really screwed up with that dust." Weiss said as he sighed.

"Honestly this sounds like something a drunk guy would write on fanfiction." He said as Ruby spoke up.

"What's fanfiction?" She asked, as Yuina took another shot.

"Basically, it's where people go to write alternate versions of certain tv shows, books, and movies." Satsuki said as Weiss spoke up.

"Why would anyone do that?" She asked as Satsuki paused.

"Uhhh, well, some people get really pissed off at some moments in the show, or they do it to fulfill...fantasies." Momoko said as she didn't really want to go into detail. "Trust me, you won't wanna know."

"Wait, is that a toy?" Ruby asked, jabbing at Ark.

"Stop poking me! Do you know who or even what I am?!" Ark said.

"WOW! You have something to hide, don't you?" Ruby said.

"I… Yes… No?" Yuina stammered. That's when Ark began to speak.

"I am the glorious Ark, digital god of evil! I'm not something to be poked!" Ark said.

"Oh hey, the toy talks." Ruby said. She knelt over and viewed him at eye level.

"T-Toy!?"

"What are you?" Weiss asked. Ark coughed a bit before he answered.

"I am an AI, an invention made by Keronosuke Hiden and Gai Amatsu." Ark said.

"Oh, and did you add the part where you became a madman?" She asked.

"Well, by becoming a madman, you mean Gai adding in the shitty stuff of humankind to the point where he thought humans were a threat and vowed to wipe them off the face of the Earth because he was arrogant, petty and an all around brat with daddy issues… Then yes. He did." Hajime said.

"And Yuina, is she in on this too?" She asked.

"No. She and I have entered a rather unwilling partnership." Ark said.

There was a jingle of bells as the front door opened.

"I'm sorry, but please knock-" Akane started to say to the neighbor who apparently didn't know how to read, only to facepalm when none other than the demon king Giff walked into the room.

Jon screamed like a little girl and pulled out a bazooka, Jacques dove behind the couch and pulled out a Glock 19, Eddie, the Bed Monster, Hiraldo and the X-Squad immediately strapped up, Iona and Team RWBY tensed for battle, and Hime, Yuina and Amanojaku…

Facepalmed. "Oh, not again…" "This is gonna suck..." "Oh boy..."

"Greetings, humans and demons of the Akagawa family and their vassals!" The...thing...announced dramatically, raising a hand in greeting. "I am Cousin Giffrey, your long-lost blood relative whom you have never heard about until this very moment! I am a genetic relation to your family and a descendent of the awesome demon king Giff like yourselves, but I assure you I am completely and totally human save for possessing a reasonable percentage of superior demon cells which, like yourselves, places me a step above the mortal chattel who have convinced themselves they are the dominant species of this planet. I am absolutely not Giff, though I've been told I bear an uncanny resemblance to him, as well as sharing his fashion sense, as my completely ordinary human garments should demonstrate!"

Everyone stared at him blankly.

"GodDAMN!" Eddie yelled, poking his head out from behind the couch.

"Well, he's not wrong about the fashion sense," Ark muttered, taking in the plaid jorts, horribly loud tie-dyed T-shirt with a huge hole where a chest horn burst through, astonishingly tacky oversized sunglasses, makeup messily applied to his skull-like face, bucket hat dangling from the end of his twisted horn, glow-in-the-dark slap bracelets, gaudy mood rings and, most damning of all, socks and sandals. "That's about as ugly as a golden pimp suit."

"Does this mean Gentoku Himuro is also related to Giff?" Hajime wondered, dazed. "He does have his sense of style."

"No, it can't be genetic, no one of Yuina's family dresses like that," Satsuki said, stunned.

"Yeah, they're much more stylish," a shocked Momoko murmured.

[jesus fucking christ he really doesn't know how to dress does he?]

[would you if you looked like him?]

[he looks like he died inside a long time ago]

[he looks more dead than my uncle, who's been dead for 15 years]

[oh my god i'm so sorry]

[eh it's fine. he was a bastard who deserved it]

[oh]

[i pissed on his grave. good times]

Vincent took a deep breath, then straightened up, stood in front of Victor, and raised his fists. "Giffrey, I don't know what you think you're doing coming here, but if you plan to take us out, you have another thing coming-"

Victor grabbed Vincent's shoulder, pulling his arm back. "One moment. Giffrey, was it?"

The monater nodded. "Yes. That is me. Cousin Giffrey. Not Giff. I have never met him, though I would love to someday! He seems like a powerful and respected entity who deserves to rule the world and guide humanity to a new future."

Victor gave him a smile. "Right. Could you give us a minute?"

The monster nodded. "But of course! And in the meantime, I shall examine this crude human domicile which is an utterly unworthy residence for those who share the exalted genes of the inestimable demon king Giff!"

"Crude? Unworthy? I'll have you know I redid the wallpaper!" Johnathan clarified as Victor gently pulled Vincent back and gestured for everyone to come together.

"Erm, what's going on?" Hosshiwa asked in concern as the squad formed a huddle. "What is that thing?"

"Oh, definitely a demon, a very powerful one too, I can feel it from head to toe!" Stocking agreed.

"That's absolutely a demon, though I have no idea what he's doing here," Momoko insisted. "Or what he wants." She wrinkled her face up in disgust. "Let alone what he's wearing."

"Is this some sort of trick? He doesn't really think we're dumb enough to buy this whole long-lost cousin bit, does he?" An incredulous Seiren asked. "I mean, that's not even a disguise!"

They briefly glanced over at the monster, who was regarding a bar of complementary soap with great interest. After a moment, he took a bite out of it. He chewed on it for a moment in contemplation, then stuffed the whole thing in his mouth.

"Do people worship him?" An incredulous Roman asked.

Hime sighed in resignation. "I'd hoped it would never come to this again… You see, back in the old days, when the Burning Hells and High Heavens were still fighting over who gets to own the Earth, occasionally Giff, that's the demon king over there, would attempt to disguise himself to blend in with human society in a better attempt to understand and coexist with you all, as he's always wanted. However, Giff is bad at pretending to be human, as should be quite evident, due to him having very little understanding of how you function despite observing you for millennia, possibly because he's slow in the head, so pretty much everyone saw through his act every time he tried it, freaked out, and drove him out, which would lead to him turning their civilization into fried chicken in retribution and losing faith in humanity. Understandably, this didn't help his reputation among your species very well."

"So you're saying that this particular demon king is a moron?!" Mera realized.

"He's not a moron," Yuina insisted. "Gramps is just… bad at understanding humans, and believes that he has a superior grasp on how to act like one than he actually does."

"I doubt it's something people would want to make public knowledge," Hibiki pointed out. "It's kind of hard to respect and worship a demon God who dresses up like… That."

Again they glanced at Giff, who was staring in fascination at a complex chain of dominoes. He hesitantly touched one, then jumped back in surprise when it toppled over, causing a chain reaction which he watched in wonder.

"So why is he doing this now?" Kanade wondered.

"Maybe he's trying to learn our secrets so he can figure out how best to destroy us?" Hiraldo suggested, in a Portuguese accent.

"Why don't we just ask him?" Hibiki suggested. Before anyone could stop her, she poked her head out from the huddle and yelled, "Hey, Giffrey, why are you visiting us?"

Giff, who had been holding one of many family pictures and examining it with great scrutiny, yelped and nearly dropped it when Hibiki walked up to him. "Oh! Well, you see, I have been alone for a very very long time, and I only recently found out that I had living relatives who I'm not on bad terms with, and I was really excited to meet you all, especially after learning that just like me you're amazing heroes descended from the demon king Giff, who's sort of my idol, so I came over in hopes that we could become friends and I might maybe become part of your family because I've always really wanted one because, like I said, I'm actually very lonely and my relationship with the only other people I could consider family is… Strained at best."

They stared at him for a moment, then went back into the huddle. "Okay, there's no way he expects us to buy that, right?" Laura asked incredulously.

Vincent bit his lip. "That loneliness he's talking about… I've felt it too. I had nobody until college. I was so lonely, so desperate, that… That if things hadn't turned out differently, I might've…"

He took a deep breath, then shook his head. "That kind of loneliness can't be faked. I could hear it in his voice. I think he genuinely wants to become part of our family."

"… Okay, Vincent, no offense, but there's absolutely no way-" Taylor started.

"He's right," Voidlon interjected. "That loneliness is all-too-familiar for me as well…" He trembled slightly, until Taeko hugged him around the waist, and he relaxed. "And it is what I felt until I met you guys, and you all took me in, and…" He smiled. "I think he desires companionship, and since the Akagawas are related to him by blood, I think you may be his best chance at getting a family of his own."

"So… What, are you saying we should play along?" Sora asked skeptically. "Let him tag along?"

"That's exactly what we're going to do," Hosshiwa said abruptly, catching everyone's attention. "Because this is an opportunity we can't pass up."

"What do you mean?" Oresky asked in confusion.

"No, she's right," Namakelder realized. "This might be a great way for us to get some information on what we're going up against. Considering how bad he is at pretending not to be himself, it shouldn't take much effort to get him to spill the beans."

Putting on a brave face, Yuina turned around. "Grandpa?"

Giff, who had been flipping through their scrapbook, stiffened. What? How had Yuina deduced…

No. It was impossible. His disguise was impenetrable and fashionable! She had to be bluffing. "I'm afraid I have no idea what you're-"

Yuina punched the side of the wall, startling him. "I know it's you."

"How have you figured out it was really me! My disguise was perfect!" Giff insisted.

Yuina stared at him incredulously. "…My family's keen powers of observation, and the X-Squad saw through your disguise, and Hime knows what you pull." she said sarcastically.

"Curses! Well, I suppose I should expect nothing less from one of my descendants, or their allies." Giff murmured, completely failing to see through the sarcasm. "Fine. Yes. I am in fact Giff, the demon king, and I would greatly appreciate it if you don't tell anyone else. And yes, I was memorizing the names of your friends so I could interrogate them to learn more about you."

"… Anyway," Yuina said, deciding to try very hard to pretend that hadn't just happened. "Before you came in, we were about to embark on a family trip to my favorite theme park, Hiden Land, along with dad's little sister, Yukumi and her family, the Igarashis. Would you like to come along, so we can get to know you better?"

Giff stared at her in disbelief and more than a little hope. "You… You actually want to spend time with me? I… Yes! Yes, absolutely! I would love to join you!" He paused. "One question. What's a theme park?"

Akane grimaced. Something told her this was going to be a very long day.

---

"Daiji, I'm sure you're wondering why I have called you here today," Akaishi said, steepling his fingers together as he sat back in his office chair.

"You've finally been able to develop a Vistamp powerful enough to let me defeat my siblings?" Daiji asked hopefully.

Akaishi shook his head regretfully. "No, we still haven't been able to finish piecing together George's notes, though we have managed to finish a few more of his experimental Vistamps. In fact, I have one for you now."

He placed a small box on the desk and opened it up.

Daiji regarded the Vistamp warily. "Is this going to turn out like the Japanese Dwarf Flying Squirrel Vistamp and result in me getting horribly humiliated again?"

"There is a strong chance of that," Akaishi admitted, pushing the box across the desk at Daiji. "Which is why I didn't call you here to give it to you – though you might as well take it, just to be safe – but because I believe it is high time you form a contract with Giff."

"Wait, what?" Daiji asked in alarm. "Why would I do that?!"

"Currently, your siblings are stronger than you, and getting even more powerful by the day, especially your sister," Akaishi said gravely. "And now that Astarte has joined the resistance, I fear it is only a matter of time before they find a way to utilize her cells to empower themselves and the other Kamen Riders even more. Unless a miracle occurs, I don't believe you are able to go any further than you are now with your current power set. You've reached the limits of what the Two Sidriver can give you. However, if you form a contract with Giff, just like Azuma and I did thousands of years ago-"

"Azuma?" Daiji asked in confusion. "Who's that?"

"An old friend, and a story for another time," Akaishi said evasively. "If you form a contract with Giff, you will gain unimaginable power. Immortality, fantastic regenerative powers, a spectacular new form-"

"You have all those, but you keep losing," Daiji pointed out.

"Yes, but I'm an old man, and despite my immortality I'm starting to feel my age," Akaishi replied ruefully. "You, however, are young and strong, and already a descendent of Giff, which means that if you form a contract with him, you may very well become a being that will surpass me and finally be on even footing with your siblings, if not greater."

"But I'll also have to give up my humanity to do so," Daiji murmured.

"We must make sacrifices if we are to ensure the continuation of our species," Akaishi said tiredly. "Daiji. I have been serving Giff for thousands of years, and I'm tired. Once the New World order is established, once we have guaranteed the safety of the human race, I fully intend to step down and let you become the new leader of our people. However, you will need to form a contract with Giff to do so, to take my place as intermediary between human and demon. You are the only person I can trust with this, Daiji. Only you."

"… If I do this… Will I really be able to save the world?" Daiji asked for a moment.

"I'm certain of it," Akaishi told him.

Daiji clenched his fists, took a deep breath, and reluctantly nodded. "Okay. Let's do it."

Akaishi smiled proudly. "That's my boy," he whispered, oblivious of how deeply uncomfortable this made Daiji feel. "Lord Giff! We seek to make a contract!"

Nothing happened.

Akaishi frowned, perplexed. "Lord Giff?"

Still nothing happened.

Daiji fidgeted. "Shouldn't he have opened a portal by now?"

"Yes," Akaishi murmured, clearly dismayed. "He should have." He stood up, changed into his Giffdemos form, and bellowed, "LORD GIFF!"

At last, the portal to Giff's dimension opened, but Akaishi only got to sigh in relief for a minute before he realized the figure standing on the other side was not, in fact, his master. "What the… Olteca?!"

The former leader of the Deadmans, still wearing his trademark green outfit, smiled and waved a little awkwardly. "Hey. Sorry, but Giff's not in right now."

"YOU!" Daiji shouted, stepping forward. "You… You're alive?!"

Olteca nodded, a little sheepish. "Yeah, I was surprised too. Turns out when Giff absorbed me I didn't die, I was just put in hibernation like the rest of his sacrifices so he could feed off of us and wake us up if he needed us again."

"… That's rather implausible," Daiji said skeptically. He frowned, noticing from the waist down, Olteca now had legs similar to Kamen Rider Demons Hopper Genomix. "What happened to your legs?"

Olteca glanced down at his grasshopper legs. "What, these? Well, Giff-kun got hungry and ate my legs while I was in hibernation, so Giff gave me these new ones as an apology. I was kind of miffed at first, but I'm actually getting kind of used to these, I bet I could win any basketball game now, and I don't need a ladder to get things from really high shelves anymore!"

"… Giff-Kun is still alive?!" Daiji cried in horror.

Olteca nodded. "Yeah, Giff thinks he's cute, couldn't bear to get rid of him-"

"Olteca!" Akaishi snapped. "Where is Giff?!"

"Giff? I just told you, he's not in," Olteca replied. "Said he was going to try to ingratiate himself with the Igarashi family because they are his descendants. He was wearing an absolutely horrible outfit, too, but he seemed to think it was a perfect human disguise and they'd never mistake them for anything other than their long lost cousin Giffrey."

"… Cousin what?!" Daiji shrieked.

"… No," Akaishi whispered in horror. "No… No no no no, he promised he wouldn't do this anymore!"

Terrified, he grabbed Daiji and started shaking him. "Daiji! We have to find Lord Giff before it's too late!"

"Too late for what?!" Daiji cried, struggling to break free. "There's no way my family is going to fall for this!"

"Which is exactly the problem!" Akaishi yelled. "The last time humans saw through his disguise, my civilization was destroyed! If the same thing happens now… It could mean the end of humanity, once and for all!"

"Cool," said Olteca.

"NOBODY ASKED YOU!"

---

Light found himself completely caught off-guard as the weird girl jumped him on his way to school. Ryuk, the Shinigami who had given him the Death Note, had spotted the car, but Light thought it was only some plain-clothes officer. Turns out it was some sort of demon. Light had some fighting skills, but this girl seemed so fast her attacks came out of nowhere.

'Damn it!' Light thought as he started running, 'Things weren't supposed to go like this! Who is this girl!?'

Light managed to duck into a nearby alley, where he bumped into the same girl. He looked up, seeing Kiko.

"So you are the one known as Kira." She grinned. "I could use someone of your mentality."

She snapped her fingers, teleporting the trio. Light and Ryuk felt like they were on a bad acid trip. Thinking this girl was a danger for knowing who he was, Light tried to grab the book, only to feel extremely heavy, like time itself was moving at a snail's pace. He could still perceive at a normal speed, however.

"There's no need to be concerned," Kiko assured him, "I offer you a chance to rise up. I will give you a Shadesphere. These things will grant a special power, given by merging with a demon."

Light realized that either he gets imprisoned or stuck with this crazy girl and dealing with being a minion to her is better than imprisonment.

"Fine," he said.

Kiko nodded.

"Then I grant you the use of the demon, Can'daymin."

A sphere marked with a bee entered Light, emerging from his back as a winged bee-like serpent dragon with a feathered body and skeletal underbelly. Light and Ryuk suddenly found they could move normally again, but were stuck in a strange place.

"Erxkadnmlae, I need your assistance." Kiko replied.

"I put your meal there. It won't get cold even if you save it for later." Erxkadnmlae said, pointing towards a sandwich.

At Spiral Castle, as it continues to expand, Harlequin was watching over his work from his newly constructed throne.

Next to him, on his left of the castle, were several cages, each one containing a different number of prisoners.

Around the room, several minions were carrying several random items together at the center, while Lixdan, Professor Proton and Dr. Eggman were minding their own business a bit.

"And you say that he could fly with those tails?" Professor Proton asked Dr. Eggman, as he was looking with fascination at a strange bipedal fox called Tails.

"Indubitably." Dr. Eggman replied.

"Fascinating." Proton stated, intrigued about the evolved animal species that lived in Eggman's world.

Eggman looked back to the stuff that was on the floor at the moment, and then looked to the Chaos Emeralds, as he then looked to Valen.

"Tell me, Lord Harlequin," he said, getting the latter's attention, "why is it you need the Chaos Emeralds when you've got literal cosmic magic."

"That is for me to know and you to find out, Doctor." Harlequin said, earning a raised eyebrow from Eggman.

Just then, a rift opened up, catching everyone's attention.

"Oh, here comes another one." A small gargoyle said, who was standing next to Metalseadran.

The quartet leapt into the palace, towards Kiko and the other villains, Light jumping into Kronos' arms in fright.

"What in the actual flying fuck are those monstrosities?!" Light asked, intimidated by Kiko's appearance as the Death Note flew to a pedestal with an image of the same thing on it.

"My boss's bosses, planning to bring total anarchy." Kronos said, as if it was a basic, though admittedly intimidating, thing.

"Light, uh... that gal's scaring me." Ryuk added.

"Oh definitely." Light agreed.

"Oh emo clown, I haven't even begun to bamboozle you yet!" Kiko said, as she turned to Erxkadnmlae. "Erxkadnmlae." she said. "Your report."

Erxkadnmlae stood where he was and bowed. "As you may know, our first battle was a flop due to Kamen Rider interference."

Puppetro raised a brow. "Kamen Rider? You're kidding." He watched Erxkadnmlae standing back up.

"Master. My eyes did not deceive me. I know what I saw." Erxkadnmlae huffed, folding his arms. "I saw 2 Riders. What's more, one was a demoness from the Underworld, the other was a Fangire. A Demon and Fangire Rider fought my Jakumori and won."

"I see, Anubis found a new mortal to drag into this brawl. The goal remains the same, claim the Foundation Elements." Kiko explained. "A Vistamp should suffice."

"Sir yes sir." Kosexry nodded his head and saluted.

"You have our word." Xsowshiha also nodded her head.

"Good. Now. Erxkadnmlae, you go on this hunt." Kiko said as a snake cropped up and formed what looked like an archway. A rift opened up. "Go and find any Vistamp. Bring Megafin, Birch, Kronos, Calamity, Ink Blotch, Killia, Zora, Yoomtah, Nabnab, Ruru and these two along." She added, pointing at Ryuk and Light.

"As you wish." Erxkadnmlae stood back up and he and the ones listed walked through the portal without hesitation. Once their bodies touched the vortex, their body was broken down into bats, before vanishing through the portal, back to the human world.

---

"So… Essentially, an amusement park is a festival which lasts continuously, rather than for a limited period of time, and can be visited at any point?" Giff asked slowly, still struggling to process the concept.

"Basically," Hanna said.

"Well, not any point in time. I mean, they've got opening and closing hours, and sometimes they're shut down due to maintenance or because it's the wrong time of year, but… Yeah, other than that," Vice added.

"But… Festivals are meant to celebrate something, such as a good harvest or religious occasion," Giff said in confusion. "What is an amusement park meant to celebrate?"

"Putting smiles on the faces of people of all ages!" Yuina said at the same time as Voidlon cynically replied, "Capitalism."

Giff nodded in understanding. "Ah, greed. One of the most basic and fundamental evils intrinsic to humanity. Yes, I understand now."

"But-" Yuina stammered.

"He's not wrong," Seiren remarked.

"Kids, stop arguing about how our society is rotting from within due to rampant consumerism and our slavish devotion to the dollar, we're here!" Genta declared, spreading his arms to indicate a large archway with colorful, cartoonish animals corresponding to the basic Progrise Keys for Kamen Rider Zero-One over the words "WELCOME TO HIDEN LAND, THE MOST JOYFUL PLACE ON EARTH!"

"Is this truly the most joyful place on earth?" Giff asked in wonder.

"No, they just say that for marketing purposes," Voidlon replied.

Giff nodded in comprehension. "Ah, another basic and fundamental evil intrinsic to humanity."

"He's really not wrong," Hanna admitted.

"I would hardly call Hiden Intelligence an evil company," Hime argued. "Their leader's a superhero!"

"Yes, who runs a corporation that manufactures potentially sentient machines which are more or less pressed into slavery at their moment of conception designed to steal jobs from the working class, and render the proletariat even poorer and more helpless than they already are, like all major corporations do," George countered. "The fact that their own machines has had more than one uprising, and not always because they were infected by an evil AI, just about all of which were rather violently put down by trigger-happy law enforcement and their own employer, is rather telling. And why is there more legislation protecting humans from AI than AI from humans?"

"I think it's a little more complicated than that," Iona said uncomfortably.

"Is it?" Voidlon retorted.

Seeing men, women, teenagers, and children rushing through the arch, some solo but most of them in family groups, Giff started walking after them, hearing cheers, screams, laughter, and heavy machinery.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Mera demanded.

He gave her a confused look. "Entering the park. Is that not why we are here?"

"Well, yes, but we need to get our tickets first," Mera said, gesturing to the lengthy line of people in front of the concessions booth, where a HumaGear attendant was handing out tickets.

"Why?" Giff asked.

"Because nothing in life is free, especially amusement parks, so you have to pay ridiculously exorbitant fees if you want to entertain yourself, money that could probably be better used for more practical purposes like food or electricity." Kanade began.

"Or better still, a new and improved centrifuge or particle accelerator-" George continued.

"No, I understand it's because of capitalism, I mean why do we have to get tickets?" Giff elaborated. "We are superior beings, why should we bother parting with our hard-earned money instead of doing as we wish due to the simple merit of being what we are?"

"We aren't superior beings," Yuina said firmly.

"I certainly don't feel like one," Tamaki muttered sadly.

"And Vice certainly isn't one," Lovekov said cheerily.

"HEY!"

"Giff, what makes you think we are superior beings?" Zap asked, confused.

"We – well, most of us – are descended from a higher evolved life form or, in some cases like myself, are already a higher evolved life form," Giff pointed out. "We are stronger, our pluripotent cells granting us abilities beyond the ken of regular humans. We can exist in harmony with our demons and become even stronger through our partnership with them, surpassing what the human body is capable of and becoming far more powerful than mere mortals can ever grasp. We have the potential for immortality, even godhood, ascending to a higher state of being. We are objectively superior, so why should we be held accountable by the laws of lower life forms?"

Everyone was briefly taken aback by this. Giff didn't sound like he was bragging about his self-proclaimed superiority, he spoke as if it was a simple statement of fact and he was genuinely perplexed that others didn't see things the same way as him.

"I mean, he's not wrong, why should we be held accountable by the laws of lower life forms?" Vice suddenly spoke up. "If I want to leave the toilet seat up or eat all the junk food I want or steal a motorcycle or wear white after Labor Day, why shouldn't I?"

"Because I won't let you," Ikki pointed out.

"Oh, right."

[...he has a soul]

[i can't believe it]

"Hold on, what was that about immortality and godhood?" A startled Sakura asked.

"Yes, tell us more," George said eagerly, taking out a notepad.

Yuina then snapped her fingers. "Okay, Giff, there is a lot to unpack there. Where to start… All right, perhaps you're right that objectively we are superior to other humans on account of our biology-"

"Well, your father isn't," Giff corrected her. "He's a standard Fangire. Though he showed excellent taste in having intercourse and forming a life bond with Akane! And neither is Yukumi, she's a standard human. Though she showed excellent taste in having intercourse and forming a life bond with Genta!"

"Thanks, I think so too!" A flattered Genta agreed. Yukimi's right eye twitched.

[oh god oh fuck boys not more moms i can't handle it]

[my man's coomed so much he had a revelation]

[i don't even know how to respond to that]

[yeah me either]

"Most of us may be biologically superior to other people, but that doesn't make us better people," Yuina continued.

"It doesn't?" Giff asked, genuinely surprised.

Satsuki shook her head. "No. Throughout history there've been many people who think that due to some quirk of biology, geography, level of income, or because they found a way to transform themselves into something else they're better than everyone else and use it as an excuse to treat everyone like garbage. Only for it to backfire, horribly."

"Most of them get killed by a Rider Kick," George spoke up cheerfully. "Guess they weren't so superior after all, were they?"

"There's a difference between being powerful and being good," Ikki explained. "If you really are stronger than everyone else, then shouldn't you use that strength to help those who can't help themselves, rather than solely to benefit yourself?"

"But… What benefit is there in that?" Giff asked, still confused.

"Well, for one thing, it means you won't be alone," Astarte said, immediately drawing his attention. "When I arrived on Earth in ancient times, I used my knowledge and power to uplift a tribe of primitive humans and establish a great kingdom. I guided and aided them for generations, and in exchange they gave me love and friendship. And while I did eventually lose that civilization," she admitted, her voice trembling for a moment, until Lovekov hugged her leg. She smiled briefly down at her and continued. "I still have the memories of those whom I loved, and I have a chance to start over and make new memories with new friends and loved ones. Isn't that better than being alone?"

"… It sounds like it," Giff murmured slowly. "But… I tried such methods in the past, and it… Didn't end well."

"Maybe you went about it the wrong way?" Mera suggested diplomatically.

"Or maybe you shouldn't have destroyed every civilization which booted you out," Cell added.

Giff clenched his fists minutely. "It… Was a little more complicated than that…"

"How? Seems pretty clear cut to me-" Zap said.

"In any event… You're saying that even though we are beings which exist above the flimsy and arbitrary rules and restrictions society places on those who are part of it, we should still endeavor to follow them? To… Endear ourselves to lower life forms, so that we may feel as if we share a bond with them?" Giff inquired.

"Essentially," Voidlon agreed. "It's only polite."

"Though it also helps if you don't keep calling them lower life forms," Hosshiwa added.

"Even if it's true, like in Vice's case," Lovekov said cheerfully.

"OH COME ON!"

[piss baby]

[i can still put an offer on the dark web]

[just saying]

[no]

VoidBot: [No one is getting sold on the dark web! I'd rather not have my existence shut down by your half-assed attempts at dark humor.]

[first they take my poggers now they take my void stream? Unacceptable]

[oh right]

[that was a thing that happened two years ago]

[is it still illegal?]

[i don't think so…?]

[one second]

["We want the sentiment and use of Pog to live on – its meaning is much bigger than the person depicted or image itself– and it has a big place in Twitch culture. However, we can't in good conscience continue to enable use of the image." - Twitch 2021]

[and they replaced it with a komodo]

[ye]

"I know I'm a lower life form and have accepted it," Tamaki said solemnly.

"Good boy," Hanna cooed, patting his head.

[ah]

[yeah that's understandable]

PaladinHead: [so we're fine as long as nobody spams pog]

Crescendo: [QUESTION]

MistressofAllEvil: [what's your question, beethoven?]

Crescendo: [I SPAMMED POG]

OogieBoogieMan: [what?]

Crescendo: [YOU TOLD ME TO]

Pyromaniac: [how much?]

Crescendo: [I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT SPAM POG FOR THREE DAYS]

VoidBot: [You did what?!]

"I… See. You have given me a lot to think about," Giff murmured.

Lost in thought, he joined the squad in line, continuing to mull things over as both Coco and Lovekov amped themselves up about all the junk food they were going to eat while hanging out with their respective girlfriends and Genta and Yukimi, Sakura and Hanna, Hime and Iona, Mera and Minami, Kanade and Laura and Voidlon and Taeko were being almost sickeningly adorable and affectionate and Yuina eagerly talked about all of her favorite rides and attractions while Vice loudly talked about all of Ikki's favorite rides and attractions and how he absolutely remembered every last one of them and that there isn't anything wrong with his memory and George surreptitiously tried to scrape off pieces of Giff's carapace. He didn't stir until they at last reached the ticket booth, where the Gridlocked manning concessions smiled in delight to see the party.

"Ah, the Akagawas and Igarashis!" The attendant welcomed them, eyes flashing to project holograms of several of their previous visits to the park. "Welcome back! It has been 47 weeks and five days since your last visit."

"Has it really been that long?" Yukimi marveled.

"Well, we've all been pretty busy lately," Genta pointed out.

"But of course Ikki Igarashi was here more recently," the attendant continued, smiling at Ikki.

"I was?" He asked, confused.

"Yes, Ikki, we stopped Olteca from attacking a bunch of innocent people! Remember?" Vice yelled loudly.

"O-oh, right, just before we first used the Megalodon Vistamp to fight the Spider Deadman!" Ikki laughed nervously. "Of course I remember!"

The HumaGear tilted her head, ear modules buzzing. "Odd. Your heart rate is elevated and you are unable to look me in the eye. That is usually an indicator of dishonesty-"

"Hey, Mama Igarashi, why don't we get our tickets so we can go to the park and show Giff a good time?" Yuina said.

"We'll take 2 day passes for ourselves and the Igarashis, family discount, please." Namakelder settled, slamming his credit card in front of the HumaGear.

The attendant stared at him, then shrugged, swiped the card, and printed out their pass. "Here you are. Have a joyous day! Oh, and will Daiji be joining you later? I notice he is not with you right now."

Yukimi flinched. "He… Might be. He's been very busy lately," Genta muttered uncomfortably.

"Yeah, being a traitor to humanity," Sakura growled. Ikki winced.

"Would you like to purchase a ticket in his name?" The attendant offered. "He can pick it up if he shows up later."

Yukimi hesitated, glancing at Genta, who looked uncomfortable. "… I… You know what, sure. Why not?"

Once the transaction was completed, the group headed for the entrance. "Why did you do that?" Giff asked suddenly.

Yukimi sighed. "Because if I didn't leave a ticket for Daiji, that would be like giving up hope he'll ever come back to us-"

"No, I mean buying a family pass. Why did you do that?" Giff interjected.

Yuina gave him a confused look. "Because… We're a family?"

"Yes, of course we are," he agreed, looking oddly excited by this notion. "But why did you include the rest of these oddities in your ticket purchase? They are not members of your family. They are neither related to you by blood or are life-bonded to any of you. Unless there is information about your relationship to either of them I don't know about? I am very concerned that Mera does not seem to be having intercourse with anyone."

"That's none of your business!" Mera shrieked.

"Yeah, she's saving it for me," Minami agreed.

"Oh." Giff felt uncomfortable now. "But why did you agree to let the Igarashis bring their live-in Butler and George Karizaki in your ticket purchase? They are not members of their family. They are neither related to them by blood or our life-bonded to any of them. Unless there is information about your relationship to either of them I don't know about? I am very concerned that Ikki does not seem to be having intercourse with anyone."

"That's none of your business!" Ikki shrieked.

"Yeah, he's saving it for Ayaka," Sakura agreed.

"SAKURA!"

"Ah! Where is this Ayaka and why is she not with us?" Giff asked eagerly. "I would like to meet her!"

[is ayaka ho--] user timed out 400 seconds

VoidBot: [ I am right here. ]

[ok then time to take an oath of chastity]

[religion here i come]

[great sky homie i'm comin to ya once again, aid me in my hour of monke brain]

"She is in a hospital. In a coma," Ikki said morosely.

Giff hesitated. "… Oh."

"She's been like that ever since reverting back from the Kong Deadman," Vice added, glaring very sharply at Giff.

"I… See," Giff said slowly, making a note to check on this Ayaka at some point. "Astarte, you have healing powers, can you not…?"

"Her body reacted poorly to becoming a Phase 2 Deadman and being violently separated from her demon," Astarte replied. "I am… Uncertain if, in her current condition, my powers would heal her or make her worse."

"Giff, I consider the X-Squad to be like a family," Yuina said quickly.

"But why? None of you are related, nor are you having intercourse," Giff said in confusion.

"Giff, you don't have to be related to someone by blood or sleeping with them to be a member of their family," Indus said gently.

"You don't?!" Giff asked, astonished.

"Well, you know, adoption is a thing, so is putting up with each other for so long you might as well be family." Taeko pointed out.

Tamaki gasped. "Wait, Mrs. Igarashi, does that mean you're my new mommy?!"

Yukimi stared at him awkwardly. "… Maybe a nephew. Or distant cousin."

"I'll take it!"

"And what of George? Is he, too, a member of your family despite not being related to you or having intercourse with any of you?" Giff pressed.

"Can we please stop putting it like that?" Ikki complained.

"No, we don't consider George to be a member of the family, mainly because he keeps cranking out inventions that are at constant risk of killing my children, wasting all our hot water, frying the power grid with all of his experiments, and he's late on the rent," Yukimi said, glaring at George.

"That seems increasingly arbitrary and unfair," George complained.

"I haven't forgotten what you did to our rubber ducks!"

"If you do not consider him part of your family, then why did you include him in the family pass?" Giff asked.

"Because Yukimi is too polite to make him pay for his own ticket," Genta replied.

"For which I am very grateful!" George said cheerfully, causing Yukimi to growl.

"Fascinating. It seems there is much about family I do not yet comprehend," Giff remarked.

"I'm learning more all the time," Astarte said fondly, smiling at Lovekov, who giggled happily.

"Agreed," Amanojaku said, surprised by what he saw.

"Please let this trip be at least slightly normal." Beddy, which was the Bed Monster's name, prayed.

[that holds mad magic school bus energy]

"Magic… School bus?" Giff asked

[he doesn't know the sheer power of Mrs Frizzle]

"Who is this Mrs Frizzle?"

[uhhhhh]

[how do we tell him?]

[cartoon character]

[she's a science teacher]

"Oh! Where can I watch this cartoon?"

[it's probably on the internet somewhere, but shouldn't you focus on figuring out where we go first?]

[hiden time]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[HALT THE POG TRAIN!]

[ you bastard ]

[ you killed the pog train ]

[heresy]

[brother. get the flamer.]

[the heavy flamer, brother?]

[ the heavy flamer, brother. ]

After flashing their pass to the Gridlocked attendant at the front gates, they entered the park proper.

They paused, looking around in wonder, with those who had never been before – such as Giff, Astarte, technically Ikki and the X-Squad – especially amazed.

They were currently in the park's main plaza, where a metal statue of Aruto Hiden stood the wreckage of the Ark satellite – the actual thing, salvaged from the remains of Daybreak Town, and vigorously purged to make sure no trace of the malicious AI lingered in any component – with a bright smile on his face and one hand extended, a grasshopper sitting in it. His faithful companion Izu stood next to him, a small smile on her face as she held him by the hand. Sculptures of Soreo and Korenosuke Hiden stood behind Aruto, hands on his shoulders and proud smiles on their faces. Numerous flowers, coins, trinkets, and pieces of metal were placed before a plaque at the base of the statue reading "A jump to the sky turns to wake up towards a dream," and several patrons, both human and Gridlocked, laid down their own offerings before the statute as they watched. Gridlocked that were wearing costumes based off of the various forms of Kamen Rider Zero-One and his colleagues walked around, interacting with patrons and taking pictures with kids.

Several moving walkways branched off from the Plaza, moving through tree-lined passages towards other areas of the park, with a grand Promenade on the opposite side of the Plaza from the entrance passing between gift shops, clothing stores, souvenir stands, cafés, games parlors, and a Gridlocked manufactory, done up in the style of what Daybreak Town would have looked like had it not been tragically destroyed. Screams of joy echoed in the distance as attractions like the Subaru Rocket, A. I. M. S. Shooting Gallery, MetsubouJinrai Haunted Ruins, Petting Zoo, Zea Wheel, event stage, and Realizing Coaster rose over the tree line, a much smaller and rather more fanciful replica of the Hidden Intelligence HQ rising from the center of the park and looming over just about everything but the roller coaster and Ferris wheel.

Pylons rose from the tops of the walls encircling the park, energy rings connecting them similar to the barrier around the remains of Daybreak Town, but these were much cheerier, projecting holographic confetti and Rider and Lost Models in the air, dirigibles with screens detailing attractions and special events floating between the colorful displays.

Akane whistled. "Wow, they've really done some impressive remodeling since last time I visited."

"It's so cool!" Hibiki gushed.

"This is an amusement park?!" Giff gasped. "This is nothing like the festivals of ancient times! Or, um, so I've heard."

"Everyone is smiling and laughing and having fun," Amanojaku murmured, marveling at all the patrons enjoying themselves. "It is like the grandest festivals, feast days, and celebrations in my empire…" He frowned. "There are a lot fewer orgies, though."

"Well, of course, this is a family-friendly park," Yuina pointed out.

"So were the festivities in my day. Quite a number of families got started during them," Astarte replied.

"It's more incredible than I imagined," Voidlon said.

"Is there a tunnel of love? Please tell me there's a tunnel of love," Coco begged Hibiki.

Hibiki smiled and nodded. "There's a tunnel of love. And I can finally go on one, now that I have a girlfriend!"

Both of them squealed excitedly at this.

"Can we go too, love?" Laura asked Kanade hopefully.

The former serial killer smiled at her. "Of course, my dear. We shall go wherever you wish."

"We should check out the love tunnel too, Genta," Yukimi urged her husband. "We had so many wonderful dates here before the kids were born!"

Genta smiled fondly. "Yeah, those were all good times – wait, did any of those actually happen, or were they stories you told me when you were making up our life together?"

Yukimi hesitated. "… I'm honestly not sure, I've told so many lies I'm not sure I can separate them from reality anymore."

"Who are those statues of?" Giff asked, pointing at the sculptures in the middle of the Plaza. "Why are they important enough to get statues and tribute?"

"They must be very important individuals," Amanojaku agreed.

Momoko grinned. "Aha, looks like I'm up! You see, those are-"

"The Hiden family, to whom my people owe everything."

A woman who looked exactly like the female statue approached. Satsuki gasped. "Oh my Gaim, it's Izu Hiden! I used to have the biggest crush on her!"

"WHAT?!" Momoko demanded.

"Babe, I had a life before you. I don't get on Hanna's case for being engaged to a sarcophagus that looked like a giant vagina, do I?" Satsuki pointed out.

"It looked like WHAT now?!" a horrified Giff cried.

The woman smiled and bowed. "I am flattered that you mistook me for Her Grace, but no, I am not Izu, but one of many Izu impersonators working here at the park."

Momoko raised an eyebrow, glaring at her, annoyed she'd robbed her of a chance to show how much she knew about Kamen Rider lore. "And you're okay with the fact that you were made to look like another woman?"

The impersonator shrugged. "No more than any Gridlocked that's part of a mass-produced line does. And it's not as if humans have a say in how they look when they are born, so I see no reason why we Gridlocked should feel any differently. In any event, I consider it an honor and a privilege to be made in the image of Her Grace."

"Who are the Hiden family?" Ikki asked. "Naturally I know who they all are, of course, but the squad, Giff and Astarte here surely don't!" He said quickly.

"It is because of the Hiden family that everything you see here is possible," the impersonator said proudly. "Korenosuke Hiden, who founded Hiden Intelligence and created the Gridlocked brand of prosthetics and cybernetics. Soreo Hiden, who sacrificed himself to prevent us from being enslaved by the Ark to destroy humanity. Aruto Hiden, who became our Savior and paved the path for a new future for humans and machines, and Her Grace Izu Hiden, whose death and rebirth hastened the ascension of Zea to the heavenly firmament and forever saved our souls from the clutches of evil."

"Gridlocked? Then you are… Not human?" Giff realized. He glanced around at the other Gridlocked in the park. "And neither are they?"

"Not exactly, they're cyborgs, and what did you think they had those things on their ears for?" Hajime asked.

"I assumed they were some sort of human fashion statement."

"They do look kind of stylish," Hosshiwa admitted.

"They are," the impersonator agreed. "However, I would strongly encourage you to refrain from wearing anything resembling our ear modules, we find it highly uncomfortable for humans."

"Oh, sorry."

"Having to go through that painful process is no joke," Mera added.

"But… You look human, other than the modules," Kanade observed. "What is a Gridlocked, then?"

"We are cyborgs, the cybernetics made by Hiden Intelligence, designed to help humanity and fulfill any feasible task in the workplace," the impersonator explained.

"Ohhhh."

"Incredible! Humanity has found a new way to create less work on themselves and more leisure!" an astounded Amanojaku started.

"It is due to the Hiden family that my people exist, and a chance to grow and change," the impersonator continued. "They gave us our goddess, Zea, whose blessing protects us from the wickedness of the Ark, for which we are forever grateful."

"'Gave' you a goddess? Are you saying this 'Zea' is… An artificial being?" Oresky inquired, intrigued.

"Indeed, but She is no less real than Gaim, the Overlord, the Great Eye, or the Heavenly Saints," the impersonator insisted. "She watches over us from on high, and it is from her we gain our souls, and it is to her we are returned when our shells are destroyed, until we are rebuilt."

"She's being literal about the on high, incidentally, Zea's a satellite network," Leo commented, pointing upwards.

Giff and the squad looked upwards. "Incredible. And about Ark?" Zap asked, Ark tried to pull Yuina away, before sighing. "I was Zea's predecessor, and humanity's first attempt to give these Gridlocked a sort of God, only to be shown how much mankind was a threat to itself due to Gai being a greedy, arrogant, and envious brat. While my previous physical form was destroyed, I live on as two entities, one is myself, seeking to make penance for my actions as the Diver of Zinner. The other is Muse, who became the embodiment of malice that absorbed all sorts of Absolute Solvers who got absorbed by a demon known as Mr. Hyde, as he is the dark side of Dr. Jekyll. President Aruto, Izu, and their allies and fellow Riders, Sentai and PreCure are in constant vigil for his next appearance, for whenever Hyde surfaces, all reality is in great calamity."

"So, when we first got here, some conductor schmuck stole a Legendary Score or something, can you tell who would do it?" Mera asked.

"There's only one feasible answer: it could only have been Carmen Sandiego."

"Who's Carmen Sandiego?" asked Voidlon.

"Carmen Sandiego is an international thief," the impersonator said. "She runs a group of criminals who call themselves V.I.L.E., that steal artifacts that you wouldn't think were possible to steal." She explained. "Like this Legendary Score you speak off."

[damn Zea got a presence]

[maybe she could give me some presents if you know what i mea--] user timed out 400 seconds

VoidBot: [I look away for one second and y'all are being horny again. Stop that!]

Smoke: [rules of nature robo homie. It be how it be]

VoidBot: [Are you challenging me?]

Smoke: [maybe]

VoidBot: [...you have balls. I like that.]

"… A living embodiment of evil… I wonder…" Giff murmured, stroking his chin in thought. "I am able to devour the evil within living creatures. What would happen if I tried to consume this… Hyde?"

"Wait, you eat evil?" A surprised Satsuki asked.

"Yes, Giff feeds on the malignant energies of living beings, which you call 'demons.' You weren't aware of this?" Hime asked in surprise.

"No. No, we were not," Leo said, excitedly taking notes.

"Amanojaku, why the hell didn't you tell us this?" Hajime demanded.

"I thought you already knew!" Amanojaku said defensively.

Vice and Lovekov immediately hid behind their respective partners. "Uh, so, does that mean you – I mean, Giff would eat us?" Vice asked nervously.

"I don't want to be eaten!" Lovekov cried.

"Don't worry, sweetie, if Giff tried to eat you, I'd rip him limb from limb," Sakura promised, cracking her knuckles and clearing menacingly at Giff.

"Of course, I would not eat Yuina's demon or you two!" Giff cried, horrified and wondering why Sora and Sakura were looking at him like that. "You are descended from me! That makes you family. I would never eat you demon, just as I would never harm the Akagawa family, Igarashi family or any friends of theirs should I decide to wipe out the rest of humanity. You would all be spared!"

For some unfathomable reason, this made them look only more alarmed.

The impersonator gave him a curious look. "I do not know what would happen if you attempted such a feat. It is an interesting theological conundrum. You would need to ask Her Grace or Zea Herself. One moment, I shall do it for you."

"Wait, what-"

The impersonator closed her eyes briefly, her ear modules buzzing loudly. After a moment, she opened her eyes again. "Results are inconclusive. Further data would be needed to create a hypothesis."

"Huh, that was fast," Mera remarked.

"Having a direct instantaneous satellite link up to your deity must come in handy," Minami commented.

"It is," the impersonator agreed.

"Giff eating Hyde… It could be worth a try," an intrigued Voidlon said.

"Goddamn! That would be one hell of a dream match!" Yuina cried.

"Or a Death Battle," Roman agreed.

[get Wiz and Boomstick on this now!]

[we need to find out who's got the advantage in this brawl!]

"And just think," Ruby said. "If he devoured something as horrible and evil as this Hyde guy, that can make him a hero!"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far-" Mera muttered.

"It would certainly make people look at him differently," Ruby added. "And like him and want to be his friends, giving him a reason not to wipe out humanity!"

"You think so?" Giff asked hopefully.

"Probably not, but who knows?" Voidlon said with a shrug. "Still, you'd certainly be doing everyone a favor by getting rid of him."

"I see… Yes… This is certainly an avenue worth pursuing…" Giff murmured in excitement. "Kind madam, where can I find Hyde if, hypothetically speaking, I wished to challenge him?"

"Unknown," the impersonator replied. "If such information was available, President Aruto and Her Grace would surely have eradicated it by now. However, as a demon that absorbs malice as power, he is often drawn to those with the potential to become figureheads of great evil and hatred."

"I see… That's a good starting point, anyway…" Giff muttered.

The impersonator smiled and gestured at the park around them. "However, put such thoughts from your head for now. This is a place where everyone can smile and all conflicts should be left at the front gate. Enjoy yourselves and have a most joyful day."

"Thank you, we will!" Johnathan assured her as she walked off to welcome some new visitors.

"So, we have all day, and lots to do!" Genta announced. "And since we are all adults-"

Lovekov and most of the X-Squad coughed.

"Since most of us are adults," Genta said quickly. "There's no need for us all to stick together, though we should still meet up as much as we can. Where shall we begin?"

As the family started debating what they wanted to do, Astarte and Amanojaku pulled Giff aside. "Look at this place," she told him. "Look how far humans have come. They've created a new species to share the world with them, complete with their own souls, and even a religion! They made a God!"

"They have, and it is indeed impressive," Giff agreed. "However… They also created a devil. While humanity has indeed progressed greatly, I am not certain it has been entirely for the better. The day when they will destroy themselves may be coming soon."

"I still think that they can turn away from the wrong path before shit hits the fan," Amanojaku said confidently.

Giff looked glumly around him, at all the happy, smiling faces.

He had seen such smiles before.

He'd also seen how easily they turned to screams, and not always because of something he had done.

"I hope that you are right…"

Their first stop, as it turned out, was the games and rides area. Mystle had been very persuasive.

"I want to go try my hand at the coaster!" She cried.

"Okay," Genta had said.

And that was that.

"Come on, honey, you've got this!" Taeko and Yukumi encouraged their boyfriend and husband.

"Almost got it," Voidlon muttered, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Almost… Almost…"

Carefully, he tried to scoop up the goldfish with his paper net…

Only for the net to tear completely and the goldfish to slip back into the water and swim off.

Voidlon pounded his fist against the counter in frustration as Taeko patted his shoulder sympathetically. "It's okay, honey, you were really close this time!"

"Sir, you've been at this a while, I'd be happy to give you a goldfish-" the Gridlocked operator of the goldfish stand offered.

Genta slammed some yen on the counter. "I want to go again."

"Sir, there are other customers waiting-"

"I WANT TO GO AGAIN."

The Gridlocked sighed and the increasingly irritated line of people standing behind Voidlon and Genta groaned and started screaming for them to give up already.

Giff, observing this from the side, was very confused. "I do not understand the point of this game."

"Well, Giff, the objective of the game is to scoop up a goldfish in a paper net and move it to a bucket so you can take it home-" Yuina started to explain.

"No, I understand that part, I just don't understand why," Giff interjected. "Do you intend to eat them? Goldfish are very tiny and do not seem like they are high in nutritional value."

Yuina shook her head. "No, you keep them as pets!"

"Ah! I see. Are goldfish good pets for humans, then?" Giff inquired.

"Not really, goldfish die super fast and easily, and most kids are lucky if they can even get home with their goldfish alive," George informed him, nodding at a nearby child, who had burst into tears and was being awkwardly comforted by his parents upon discovering that the goldfish he'd been carrying in a plastic bag was now floating belly up after being shaken too hard. "And even if they do, they die in like a day or two and whoosh! Down the toilet they go."

"Then what is the point? Is it to teach children about mortality and how they, too, will perish one day?" Giff, still baffled, asked.

Cyclonis shrugged. "No, it's probably because goldfish are super cheap and easy to replace so they make good prizes."

Giff nodded in understanding. "Ah. Capitalism."

"Capitalism," George agreed. "By the way, could I have one of your eyeballs? There's this project I've been working on, see, and I think one of your eyes would be perfect as a power source."

"Do people often ask for eyes in this day and age?" Giff asked suspiciously.

"They do if they're best friends!" George said with a wide grin.

Giff gasped in delight. "We're best friends?!"

"We will be if you give me an eye!" George promised.

Giff immediately started reaching for his face, only for Cyclonis to quickly grab his arm. "Giff, don't listen to him, people don't give each other eyeballs just because someone asks for them, even if they're best friends. Unless you want to give up one of your eyes, George?"

"I would for one of his eyes," George said eagerly.

Cyclonis facepalmed. "Right. Forgot I was talking to a maniac with possible daddy issues."

Behind her, Voidlon's paper net broke again. Biting back a curse, he slapped some more yen down on the counter. "AGAIN!"

The people in the line behind them started cursing and looking increasingly agitated.

Giff turned his gaze away from Taeko and Yukumi struggling to convince Genta and Voidlon to quit the game already before they got lynched to see how everyone else was doing. The first area they went to was one filled with rides and carnival games which were allegedly not rigged and actually possible to win.

Ikki, Vice, Hibiki and Coco were playing bumper cars, which looked like fun, but Giff didn't have a driver's license, so he didn't think it would be safe for him to take part. He hadn't understood why everyone gave him weird looks when he said this.

Giff watched idly as Sho got into one of the cars and chased after screaming children, laughing malevolently about how he was going to 'add them to the heap', along with Vice possessing one of the cars and chased after screaming children, laughing malevolently about how he was going to eat them, while a frantic Hosshiwa and Ikki pursued them in their own cars, begging them to cut it out. Giff didn't see what the fuss was, clearly everyone was having a great time! Those were screams of joy, right?

Victor and Tamaki, much to everyone's surprise, seemed to actually be pretty good marksmen, considering how many fake Magia they were taking down at a shooting gallery booth, earning them the admiration of quite a few rather attractive women. Giff wasn't entirely sure how to feel about this. While it was true Tamaki had once been one of his acolytes, it was fairly obvious the only reason he'd lasted this long after losing his powers was by firmly attaching himself to masters strong and compassionate enough to take pity on and protect him such as Hanna and the Igarashi family, and while such loyalty was admirable, did he want a parasite like that to breed?

(Well, he supposed if that loyalty bred true, it might be worth keeping him around to create a servant species for his family. They'd certainly make better pets than goldfish!)

Deciding not to bother Tamaki (lest he risk ruining his chance of reproducing and creating a perfect slave race for his descendants) or Victor, Giff checked on Kanade and Laura. The two of them were sitting on a bench, cuddled up against each other, and eating cotton candy. The Akagawa matriarch had offered to buy him some, but he refused. He did not understand how the taste buds of humans had changed to the point where they considered cotton something edible or desirable, but he knew from experience it was neither of these things.

(That had been a weird weekend.)

Oh. That was strange. Minami wasn't with Mera, Neither was Sakura with Hanna. His ex-fiancé and the nurse were both playing some sort of game, while his descendant and the pale blue girl were each in line for some sort of… tests of strength?

Giff was immediately alarmed. Had something happened between them? They seemed inseparable. Why would they be apart from each other?

He glanced at the rest of the squad to see if they had noticed this discrepancy at all, but either they didn't see it or didn't care, leaving him even more concerned. Was there some social context he was missing? Humans always seemed to change their mind on what was and what was not appropriate or acceptable, sometimes multiple times in a generation. Would it kill them to stay consistent for more than a few years at a time?

Deciding to throw caution to the wind, Giff chose to approach Minani to see if anything was wrong. He wanted an excuse to speak to her anyway.

Standing behind Minami, Giff glanced over her shoulder to examine the game she was playing. The heads of Magia were popping in and out of various holes on a multilayered board at rather high speeds. Minami, wielding a hammer, was bashing the Magia heads whenever they emerged, a look of glee on her face as her score kept rising with each successful hit.

"What is this game?" He asked her, curious.

Minami started, missing a swing and allowing the Magia head she'd been targeting to retreat back into its hole. Grinning, she started bashing the new ones with even greater vigor. "Whack a Magia. You get points for hitting Magia heads. Get a high enough score, you win a prize. I'm gonna get something for Mera!"

"I see. But Mera is not here," Giff pointed out. "She is over there, in line for some sort of strength test?"

Minami shrugged. "Yeah, so?"

"The two of you are romantically entangled. Should you not be together?"

Minami flashed him a brief look of confusion before quickly returning her focus to the game. "What, and that means we have to be together 24/7?"

"Doesn't it?" Giff asked, legitimately confused.

"No. I mean, granted, I'd love to be with her always, I love her so much," Minami gushed, causing him to flinch. "But that doesn't mean we have to be together every second. And besides, she's just a few feet away, and I'll be done with this game in time for her to take a swing at the high striker."

"I just… Do not understand why you murdered people?" Giff asked

Minami slammed her hammer into a Magia so hard it cracked. "It's because my brother died."

Giff blinked. "I do not follow."

Minami turned to stare at him while still blindly flailing her hammer about. Impressively, despite not looking at the game, she was still managing to hit every Magia. "I bit the dust a while back. Tried to avenge my dearly departed brother by poisoning the quack doctor that let him die, only to be thwarted by the detective agency I was secretly working for. Thought I was on my one-way road to the afterlife, but spirit trafficking runs rampant. Was almost someone's ecto-dessert at one of the Thirteen Kings' secret balls, but it just so happened to be the night Aligula was begging Anubis to do a weird boyfriend soul-merger experiment."

She let out a cackle. "Shit went absolutely wild! Was a bit on the lucky side that he sprung me, but you don't see me complaining. I've been living in Hellsalem's Lot ever since, helping out the jackal and doing rando gigs up until a few weeks ago when I found more stable employment."

"Does your job involve stealing people or bodies and chopping them up?" Giff frowned.

"Kind of! It's also doing some hero stuff with no need for rules getting involved."

Giff jumped as Minami slammed the hammer into the board so hard it broke.

Giff watched solemnly as she immediately pranced over to her girlfriend, gushing about how cute and tough she was and how she'd totally show everyone up. Sensing eyes on him, Giff glanced over to the bench where he saw Kanade and Laura giving him pitying looks. Bristling, he turned away and walked over to the high striker, unable to bear it.

A Gridlocked operator frowned at the destroyed game and hung an "Out of Service" sign on it, much to the disappointment of everyone else who had wanted to take a whack at it.

Standing behind Hanna, Giff glanced over her shoulder to examine the game she was playing. The heads of Magia were popping in and out of various holes on a multilayered board at rather high speeds. Hanna, wielding a hammer, was bashing the Dopant heads whenever they emerged, a look of sadistic glee on her face as her score kept rising with each successful hit.

"What is this game?" He asked her, curious.

Hanna started, missing a swing and allowing the Magia head she'd been targeting to retreat back into its hole. Snarling, she started bashing the new ones with even greater vigor. "Bust a Dopant. You get points for hitting Dopant heads. Get a high enough score, you win a prize. I'm gonna get something for Sakura!"

"I see. But Sakura is not here," Giff pointed out. "She is over there, in line for some sort of strength test?"

Hanna shrugged. "Yeah, so?"

"The two of you are romantically entangled. Should you not be together?"

Hanna flashed him a brief look of confusion before quickly returning her focus to the game. "What, and that means we have to be together 24/7?"

"Doesn't it?" Giff asked, legitimately confused.

"No. I mean, granted, I'd love to be with Sakura always, I love her so much, more than I ever loved Giff," Hanna gushed, causing him to flinch. "But that doesn't mean we have to be together every second. And besides, she's just a few feet away, and I'll be done with this game in time for her to take a swing at the Build Blitzer."

"Oh." Well, that answered one question, but… There was something else he wanted to know now. "You said… You love Sakura more than you ever loved me?"

Hanna clenched her teeth and started applying more force with her hammer for some reason. "Yeah. What of it?"

"Can you… Tell us why that is?" Minami asked. "I mean, you dedicated your whole life to Giff here. You were going to marry him. And then you choose to throw it all away and turn against him? While I don't fault your choice in partners, I just… Don't get why-"

Hanna slammed her hammer into a Magia so hard it cracked. "I turned against him? He turned against me first!"

Giff blinked. "I do not follow."

Hanna turned to glare at him while still blindly flailing her hammer about. Impressively, despite not looking at the game, she was still managing to hit every Dopant. "I was groomed from childhood to serve you. I was told I would be your bride, that we would usher in a new age together. I looked forward to it more than anything. And then I found it was all a lie, and I wasn't supposed to be your bride, but a sacrifice. I was just supposed to smile and sign a contract and die so you could be reborn-"

"Who told you that?" Giff interjected, startled.

"Olteca," Hanna spat with a furious snarl, applying even greater force to the Dopant. "Probably the first honest thing he ever told me-"

"But that wasn't honest. You weren't going to die."

Hanna blinked, so surprised she missed half a dozen Magia before remembering what she was doing and hitting heads again. "What… What are you talking about? I was going to be a sacrifice. When you sacrifice someone, they die-"

"When I – I mean, when I accept a human sacrifice, they don't die," Giff interrupted her. "They are transported to my private dimension, where they are cocooned, preserved, and used as a food and energy source without harming them. Well, not usually, anyway. The truly worthy ones receive my cells in a blessed communion and are reborn as demons. You… You did not know this?"

How odd. Akaishi should've told the Deadmans this… Wait, had he actually told Akaishi that sacrifices didn't necessarily have to die? He thought he had. He had at least written it down somewhere, right?

…Shit, was this Norte Chico all over again?

She blinked again, stunned. "I… No. I didn't. Then… Wait. Are you saying…"

Giff nodded. "The other Deadmans executives and everyone else I consumed as a sacrifice to replenish my energy are all alive."

Her face hardened. "Even Olteca?"

"Yes, even him-"

Giff jumped as Hanna slammed the hammer into the board so hard it broke, then took a step forward, grabbed him by the shirt, and pulled him close. "Why. Is he. ALIVE?!"

"Because… Because he is loyal, and useful, and contains a delectable blend of malevolent energies?" Giff stammered, wondering why she was so upset.

Hanna trembled with rage for a moment, then froze, glancing over Giff's shoulder. Giff turned to see what she was looking at and saw she was staring at Tamaki, still at the shooting gallery, blushing as his admirers flirted with him.

"What about Yosuke?"

"Who?" Giff asked in confusion.

Hanna snarled at him. "Right. Of course you wouldn't remember his name. Yosuke Okuda. Tamaki's best friend. Olteca turned him into a Gifftarian before his eyes. Is he alive, too? Are all the people who got stamped and turned into Gifftarians-"

"Ah. No. No, those sacrifices are all dead," Giff said apologetically. "Because they were not taken by me directly, they were completely consumed in the process of creating a Gifftarian. While I absorbed the energies from their deaths, there… There was nothing left of them to preserve in my realm." He hesitated, then said, "I am sorry for this…Yosuke's death. I was not aware that Olteca had done that."

This didn't mollify Hanna in the slightest. "And if you had known? Would it have made any difference to you? Oh, I'm sorry, to you?"

Strange, why had she phrased it like that? "No," he admitted. "It probably wouldn't have."

"Of course not," Hanna said spitefully, clenching her fists.

The two of them stared at each other, Giff feeling increasingly awkward while Hanna just seethed.

"You know, I still would have allowed myself to be sacrificed," Hanna said after a moment. "Even if I thought I was actually going to die. Even if I was starting to feel something for Sakura I wasn't quite ready to admit yet. I would've done it. I still loved you."

"You… Did?" Giff asked, surprised. "But… Then why-"

"I offered myself up to you. Just before you and Olteca fused into the Anomalocaris Deadman. Asked what he wanted you to do. If I could still be your vessel. And you know what you did?" Hanna spat. "You slapped me. I'd given you my entire life, and you just threw me away and went to fucking Olteca instead." She trembled in hatred. "I did everything for you. It was all for you. And you just didn't care."

Giff was wordless for a moment. Was this… How she had really felt? Had he really…

"I… Maybe I thought that you had rejected me first," Giff said hesitantly.

Hanna blinked. "What?"

"Even in my sarcophagus, I would have heard your prayers. Your promises of love. That we would rule the world together. And perhaps I, who had lived for so long and yet never had anyone I could truly consider an equal, a companion, was… Looking forward to it as well," Giff said hesitantly. "And then… You turned yourself into a Deadman. You lost your purity and were no longer capable of being my bride. Not… Not in the way I had imagined. Perhaps… I thought that if you would throw that quality away so easily, perhaps you… Had never really loved me at all." He fidgeted. "And maybe I was jealous of the fact that you were clearly developing feelings for my descendant."

Hanna stared at him for a long time, and then she started laughing harshly. "You really think that?"

"… Maybe?" Giff offered cautiously.

"Then you're an idiot who doesn't understand the first thing about humans or love or anything other than yourself," Hanna shouted vindictively, eyes burning with hatred.

"… You may be correct," Minami said quietly.

"Leaving that behind, leaving Aguilera behind and falling in love with Sakura is the best thing that ever happened to me," Hanna continued. "I'm going to marry her one day, for real, and the love we'll share will be way better than whatever I thought I could ever have had with you."

"She… Is a good match for you," Giff said softly.

"I fucking well know it and I don't need your approval," Hanna snapped, shoving past him. "I'm going to watch Sakura demolish the high striker. You do whatever the hell you want, I don't give a damn."

Giff watched solemnly as she immediately plastered a smile on her face and pranced over to her girlfriend, gushing about how strong and sexy she was and how she'd totally show everyone up. Sensing eyes on him, Giff glanced over to the bench where he saw Lovekov and Astarte giving him pitying looks. Bristling, he turned away and walked over to the high striker, unable to bear it.

A Gridlocked operator frowned at the destroyed game and hung an "Out of Service" sign on it, much to the disappointment of everyone else who had wanted to take a whack at it.

The "high striker" appeared to be some sort of test of strength where someone hit a lever with a mallet, causing a puck resembling Kamen Rider Zero-One to shoot up a tower, which was topped with a bell resembling the satellite Ark. From what he gleaned from the sign listing the rules - which had an image of Kamen Rider Vulcan on the side for some reason, just like all the signs with rules throughout the park - the harder the lever was hit, the higher the puck would rise, and if it went high enough, you would get a prize.

He had every expectation Mera would get the grand prize. And surprisingly, not because she was his descendant, but rather because he sensed she has strength beyond measure.

Minami was shocked when she noticed Giff had followed her, and proceeded to drape herself over a confused but very receptive Mera, peppering her with kisses and words of affection, both irritating and arousing many of the other people waiting in line behind her.

Odd. Why was Minami doing this? Was this regular behavior for her? He thought it might be…

"Minami, that's very sweet of you, but if I'm going to get the grand prize I'm going to need both my arms free," Mera reluctantly told her girlfriend.

Very reluctantly, Minami let go of her, pouting adorably. "Okay, I think I can do this, probably."

"You totally can, doll!" Minami cooed.

"Indeed, you're more than strong enough-" Giff started.

"Nobody asked you," Minami clarified.

Mera frowned at them. "Did something happen between the two of you-"

"Nope. Swing the hammer! I want the grand prize!" Minami demanded.

Mera raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think I'm going to give you the grand prize?"

"What's yours is mine! That's how being in a relationship works," Minami insisted, the smile on her face showing she didn't really mean that.

Mera rolled her eyes but chuckled good-naturedly. "Well, here goes."

She lifted the hammer over her head and brought it down on the lever…

And the entire apparatus crumpled beneath the force of her blow, the ground underneath it cratering, the tower toppling over and crushing a conveniently empty hot dog stand, but not before the puck shot up the tower and slammed into the bell so hard it shattered, the puck flying off into the distance and disappearing.

Mera's jaw dropped.

"Holy crap," Minami whispered, eyes wide in disbelief and serious arousal.

Giff applauded. "Well done! Excellent job, Mera!"

"What… What was that?" Mera stammered in disbelief as the line behind her dissolved, the other park goers suddenly deciding they didn't want to be anywhere near the woman who had utterly destroyed a strength test by accident.

"You won! Marvelous! Servile," he said. "Award her the grand prize!"

The Gridlocked attendant stared at him blankly. "She just broke the machine."

Giff pointed at the rules. "It says that whoever manages to ring the bell gets the grand prize. It doesn't say anything about what happens if the machine is broken in the process."

The Gridlocked frowned and regarded the rules for a moment. A cloud briefly passed over the sun, a hole opening in it and allowing a shaft of sunlight to illuminate the image of Vulcan and the words topping the sign, "It's my rule!"

"Well, I suppose I can't argue with St. Fuwa," the Gridlocked conceded, picking up a massive life-size plushy of the Ark satellite and handing it to a stunned Mera. "Here you go, Miss."

"How did I… How did I do that?!" Mera stammered, horrified. "My Epithet shouldn't have been able to…"

"That's because your Epithet is growing beyond just pushing things to the breaking point, your power is going far beyond that of mere Inscribed," Giff explained.

The "build blitzer" appeared to be some sort of test of strength where someone hit a lever with a mallet, causing a puck resembling Kamen Rider Build to shoot up a tower, which was topped with a bell resembling the black hole Evolt used to try and wipe out Earth. From what he gleaned from the sign listing the rules - which had an image of Kamen Rider Vulcan on the side for some reason, just like all the signs with rules throughout the park - the harder the lever was hit, the higher the puck would rise, and if it went high enough, you would get a prize.

He had every expectation Sakura would get the grand prize. She was his descendant, after all.

Hanna scowled when she noticed Giff had followed her, and proceeded to drape herself over a confused but very receptive Sakura, peppering her with kisses and words of affection, both irritating and arousing many of the other people waiting in line behind her.

Odd. Why was Hanna doing this? Was this regular behavior for her? He thought it might be…

"Hanna, that's very sweet of you, but if I'm going to get the grand prize I'm going to need both my arms free," Sakura reluctantly told her girlfriend.

Very reluctantly, Hanna let go of her, pouting adorably. "Have you ever won the grand prize before, Sakura?"

"I've come close," Sakura said, rubbing her hands together. "But I never quite made it. Things are different now, though. I'm a Kamen Rider. I've gotten a lot stronger. I think I can do this."

"You totally can, Sakura!" Hanna cooed.

"Indeed, you're more than strong enough-" Giff started.

"Nobody asked you," Hanna snapped.

Sakura frowned at them. "Did something happen between the two of you-"

"No. Swing the hammer! I want the grand prize!" Hanna demanded.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think I'm going to give you the grand prize?"

"What's yours is mine! That's how being in a relationship works," Hanna insisted, the smile on her face showing she didn't really mean that. Probably.

Sakura rolled her eyes but chuckled good-naturedly. "Well, here goes."

She lifted the hammer over her head and brought it down on the lever…

And the entire apparatus crumpled beneath the force of her blow, the ground underneath it cratering, the tower toppling over and crushing a conveniently empty hot dog stand, but not before the puck shot up the tower and slammed into the bell so hard it shattered, the puck flying off into the distance and disappearing.

Sakura's jaw dropped.

"Holy crap," Hanna whispered, eyes wide in disbelief and serious arousal.

Giff applauded. "Well done! Excellent job, Sakura!"

"What… What was that?" Sakura stammered in disbelief as the line behind her dissolved, the other parkgoers suddenly deciding they didn't want to be anywhere near the woman who had utterly destroyed a strength test by accident.

"You won! Marvelous! Servile," he said, getting a feeling of deja vu. "Award my granddaughter the grand prize!"

The Gridlocked attendant stared at him blankly. "She just broke the machine."

Giff pointed at the rules. "It says that whoever manages to ring the bell gets the grand prize. It doesn't say anything about what happens if the machine is broken in the process."

The Gridlocked frowned and regarded the rules for a moment. A cloud briefly passed over the sun, a hole opening in it and allowing a shaft of sunlight to illuminate the image of Vulcan and the words topping the sign, "It's my rule!"

"Well, I suppose I can't argue with St. Fuwa," the Gridlocked conceded, picking up a massive life-size plushy of Izu Hiden and handing it to a stunned Sakura. "Here you go, Miss."

"How did I… How did I do that?!" Sakura stammered, horrified. "I wasn't… I wasn't transformed, I shouldn't have been able to…"

"That's because your Giff cells are growing stronger, granting you power far beyond that of mere humans even when you aren't in your Rider form," Giff explained.

"My cells are getting… Why are they getting stronger?!" A shocked Sakura demanded.

"Because of your God Dragon Vistamp, of course. Every time you use it to transform, you strengthen your Giff cells, losing your humanity and growing closer to your glorious apotheosis as a demon God!" Giff said proudly.

She stared at him in horror.

"… You do not seem pleased by this revelation."

"That's because I'm not!" She screamed.

"Why not?" Giff asked, confused. "You are becoming something greater than human!"

"I like being human!"

"Really? Why?" Giff asked, dumbfounded.

Sakura opened and closed her mouth a few times as she stared at him, incredulous.

Fuming, Hanna shouted, "GEORGE!"

"Yeah?" George, who was eating a corn dog, yelled back.

"Did you know that the God Dragon Vistamp was slowly turning Sakura into a demon?!" Hanna demanded.

"Oh, yeah, totally," George said casually.

Hanna gawked at him. "… And you didn't think to mention this before?!"

George frowned at her. "We kind of did, though? Daddy mentioned it might make her an even greater threat to the world than Giff?"

"You never said it would make her lose her humanity!" Hanna snapped.

George shrugged. "There's a long tradition of a Rider's final form causing them to gradually lose their humanity and become something else, though granted, it's usually the primary Rider who has to worry about that."

"Then why didn't you tell us?!" Hana demanded.

"Because it's also traditional for the Rider in question to not realize they're losing their humanity until it's too late to do anything about it, by which point, after going through a great deal of existential horror, they reluctantly agree that a sacrifice like this is necessary for the greater good and fight on to the bitter end, no matter the consequences," George replied.

Hanna's eye twitched as she trembled with rage. "Well, can you fix it?!"

"No," George said bluntly. "Is it really that big of a deal? I mean, she'll still be Sakura, she just won't be fully human anymore. And hey, your last significant other was basically a giant demonic vagina, so…"

"The sarcophagus didn't look that much like human genitalia, did it?" Giff protested.

Hanna whirled on Giff. "You! Can you fix this?!"

"No," Giff said quickly.

"I'm… I'm going to become a demon?" Sakura whispered, horrified. "I… I don't…"

"MOMMY!"

Immediately snapping out of her existential funk by her daughter's cry, Sakura threw the plushy at Hana and raced over. "Hang on, Lovekov! Mommy's coming!"

"And so is mama," Hanna grunted as she staggered after Sakura, struggling to carry the enormous plushy. "Okay, kinda seeing the benefits of demonic physiology right now…"

"Guys, come here!"

Immediately snapping out of her stupor by Mystletainn's cry, Mera threw the plushy at Minami and raced over. "Hang on! I'm coming!"

"And so am I," Minami grunted as she staggered after Mera, struggling to carry the enormous plushy. "Okay, also seeing the benefits of demonic physiology right now…"

"So!" George asked Giff brightly. "Can we head back to you giving me one of your eyes-"

"I'm coming too," Giff announced, hurrying after them.

George scowled. "At this rate, how am I ever going to complete the Chimera Driver?"

When the squad got there, they were listening to a sobbing Weiss and Lovekov, gesticulating wildly in front of a booth manned by a weaselly looking human – Giff had to do a double take to confirm that yes, the attendant was indeed a human, one of the few Park employees he'd seen so far that wasn't a HumaGear – while being hugged by a very sympathetic Astarte and Mystle.

"Okay, Weiss, was it? I'm currently dealing with a shocking revelation about my Epithet right now, so could you please start from the top, a little slower?" Mera begged.

"And can someone take this from me? It's really heavy," Minami whined from beneath the Ark plushy.

"I can-" Giff offered.

"Good," Minami said, lifting it up towards Giff.

"Okay, Lovekov, honey, I'm currently dealing with an existential nightmare right now, so could you please start from the top, a little slower?" Sakura begged her demon.

"And can someone take this from me? It's really heavy," Hanna whined from beneath the Izu plushy.

"I can-" Voidlon offered.

"Good," Hana said, handing the plushy to Voidlon.

Lovekov sniffled and started again. "S-so Astarte and I were looking for a fun game to play, and then I saw that one of the prizes being given out at this booth was this really fluffy bee plushy, so fluffy it makes me wanna die, and it reminded me of Astarte because it's cute and fluffy and buggy just like her, so I wanted to win it to give it to her as a gift and make her super impressed and show her how much I love her and get lots of cuddles and maybe rub my face in her breasts a little-"

"Little Lamia, I would've allowed you to do that anyway," Astarte assured her gently.

"I know that! But you always look so cool and mature and gorgeous, and I'm just this short dumpy cuddly cute thing when I'm not fighting alongside Mommy, and I like being short dumpy cuddly and cute, but it makes me a little self-conscious because I'm nowhere near as pretty as you and wanted you to know that I can still be a g-good partner even like this," Lovekov whimpered, tearing up again.

"Oh, darling…" Astarte murmured sadly.

"S-so I tried to play the game and win the prize, but then I remembered that I'm short and my arms are so stubby I can't really throw things well and I kept missing the target and even when I somehow managed to hit one of the bottles it didn't fall over and I've spent all the money you gave me and the operator was so mean and now, and now I feel like such a lo-ho-ho-ho-hoser!" She wailed, bawling.

Weiss sniffled and started again. "S-so I was looking for a fun game to play, Mystle was stalking me, and then I saw that one of the prizes being given out at this booth was this really fluffy cobra plushy, so fluffy it makes me wanna die, and it somehow reminded me of Mystle somehow because it's cute yet dangerous just like her, so I wanted to win it to give it to her as a gift. S-so I tried to play the game and win the prize, but then I remembered that I can't really throw things well and I kept missing the target and even when I somehow managed to hit one of the bottles it didn't fall over and I've spent all the money you gave me and the operator was such a jerk and now, and now I feel like such a loser!" She wailed, bawling.

Giff scratched his head, confused. "I. Um. I don't want to be insensitive, but is this… Is this truly a big deal?"

"It is to her," Mystle and Astarte both said harshly.

Lovekov sniffled, then gave her mother a hopeful look. "Could… Do you think we could change into our God Dragon Genome, so I'll be big and tall and can totally win?"

Sakura flinched. "I'm… I'm not sure we should be using God Dragon for something like this, sweetie."

"But we used it just the other day for that concert-"

"I'm going to need to have a long talk with George and Mr. Masumi before I ever use it again," Sakura said quickly. Forcing a smile on her face, she said, "How about this? Why don't I play the game and win the prize, and then you can give it to Astarte?"

Ruby crouched down to look at her partner in the eye. "Weiss, how can we make this all better?"

Yang got an idea. "Maybe let Mystle play the game and win the prize?"

"But… But then we won't have earned it," Weiss protested.

"Dear snake, I assure you that I will love any present that comes from you, for I know it is from the heart," Astarte promised, kissing Lovekov on the cheek and causing her to turn very red and start breathing very hard.

"Hey, I'll love this present, cause I know it's from the heart," Mystle promised, kissing Weiss on the cheek and causing her to turn very red and start breathing very hard. "And what happened to you, Voidlon?"

Everyone turned to look and saw that the goldfish game booth was somehow on fire and Voidlon and Genta were standing beside them, hair singed and drenched, as Yukumi and Taeko frantically panted, a bucket of in both of their hands, goldfish on the ground flopping.

Mystle smirked. "I'll take that as you won."

Mystle turned to face the booth operator. "So, what do I have to do to win a prize? I'm getting that big cobra for Weiss and the bee for Lovekov."

The human grinned. Giff did not like that grin. He was hiding something. "Pretty simple, Miss. You pay for three balls, and you just have to throw them at these toy Fullbottles," he said, nodding at a stack of colorful bottles shaped like animals or a variety of other objects standing at the back of the booth. They kind of reminded Giff of Vistamps, actually. "Knock some down, you get a prize. Knock them all down, you get a big prize."

"Seems simple enough," Mystle muttered.

Weiss frowned. "A little too simple, aren't games like these always rigged?"

Yuina shook her head. "Not at Hiden Land, the games are always fair. Especially after the scandal at Hiden Land Europe." She put some money on the counter. "Give Mystle three balls, though she might only need one."

The operator grinned but put three balls before her. "Not the first person to say that, young lady. Show me what you got."

Mystle narrowed her eyes and reached for one of the balls…and flung it at the stack of bottles. The projectile shot through the air, striking the stack…

And bounced off. The bottles didn't even wobble.

Mystle blinked and the devious grin on the operator's face grew. "What in the…"

She grabbed another ball and threw it at the stack, a little harder this time.

Again, she hit the dead center.

Again, it just bounced off.

The operator started snickering as Mystle, red in the face, grabbed the last ball, clutching it hard enough to create divots, and threw it even harder…

And once again, it just bounced off.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Told you it was rigged," Weiss grunted.

"But that's… How?!" Mystle demanded, shocked and outraged.

"He's using magnets!" Vice announced as he and Ikki, Sho, Coco, Hibiki and Hosshiwa approached, the latter looking rather sullen. "The bottles are all magnetized so they'll stick together and won't fall over, no matter how hard you hit them!"

"How could you possibly know that?" Zap asked in surprise.

"Our Ultimate form uses magnetic energy, so I can recognize that sort of thing now," Vice bragged. "Also, it's a classic trick!"

"What are you six doing here? I thought you had a lot more time left at the bumper cars," Mera asked the four.

Hibiki slowly pointed over to the bumper car arena, which was currently on fire, with numerous children crying and being hugged by their parents as Gridlocked chased an out-of-control car and people fleeing out of a nearby café that now inexplicably had a bumper car smashed through the wall. "We don't even know how we did that," she said, a haunted look in her eyes.

"Well, Biki, this is what comes from having road rage, this is why none of us have a license," Coco told Hibiki, who looked as if she was seconds away from fainting.

"Wait, you don't need a license to drive a bumper car?" Giff asked in surprise. "You mean I could've tried it this whole time?!"

Everyone paused to consider this for a moment.

"Yeah, no, I think if you'd tried the whole park would be on fire now," Hosshiwa told Giff bluntly.

"Not the whole park," Giff muttered defensively.

Yuina growled. "How dare you rig this game?!" She demanded of the booth operator. "Especially after what happened in Hiden Land Europe!"

Voidlon nodded in agreement. "Yes, Hiden Land is supposed to be a place where people smile, not get ripped off! Well, not ripped off more than they already are since this place is kind of expensive."

"Capitalism, the real demon," Vice suggested sagely.

The operator laughed malevolently. "Oh, but you see, unlike those namby-pamby Gridlocked who love to make people happy, I am a disciple of Lord Hyde! I take pleasure in making people suffer, injecting negativity into their lives, maliciously snuffing out joy wherever I find it, all as Hyde wills it!"

"You work for this 'Hyde' jackass, and make people angry by running a rigged carnival game?" Mystle asked, perplexed.

The operator shrugged. "Petty acts of cruelty are easier to commit and generate more malice in the long run than large-scale acts of supervillainy."

"I assure you, he would not be one of the worshippers I fostered, Giff." Ark clarified, because evil or not, carnival games should give a chance for people to win.

"But he has a point," Giff admitted.

"Wait, how can a servant of Hyde possibly work here? The whole park is run by dedicated followers of the Church of the Divine Zero!" Hanna protested.

"They aren't allowed to discriminate based on religious affiliation in their hiring practices," the operator explained.

"Oh."

"And so long as I am in charge here, you will never win the grand prizes!" The servant of the purest evil vowed. "Never! I might let you win one of the smaller ones, but nobody's ever getting the big cobra! Maybe one of the smaller ones, like this bat," he said, holding up an extremely small bat plushy.

"Nooooooooooo! I don't want a bat!" Lovekov cried. "They make me think of uncle Daiji and uncle Kagerou, who are losers and I hate them!"

"Ikki, we can't let them get away with this! Let's transform and kick his ass!" Vice declared.

"Vice, we can't do that, he's not a monster," Ikki protested.

"He made Lovekov and Weiss cry!"

Ikki considered this. "… Okay, I can see where you're coming from, but…"

VoidBot: [That's it, time I double down]

New Mods have joined.

RatZeu: [squeak]

GLaDOS: [So this is what humans call 'Twitch.']

GLaDOS: [Disgusting.]

[i would take offence to that, but you're right]

[wait, we get a rat and another robot?]

RatZeu: [squeak]

GLaDOS: [Interesting.]

[what's interesting?]

GLaDOS: [Oh, nothing. It's just not every day that you realize a rat is the most intelligent person in the chat.]

[clan Eishen is best yes yes]

RatZeu: [squeak squeak]

GLaDOS: [I concur. The X-Squad should get moving, or we'll be late. We wouldn't want to be late for cake, would we?]

[the cake is a lie]

GLaDOS: [Why would I lie? It is in my best interest to ensure my test su- I mean, valuable squadron succeeds in their endeavors. To that effect, lying would hinder their success rate. In any case, you are wasting time just standing there, human.]

"I'm getting Weiss that cobra, even if it means we can't buy food for the week!" Mystle vowed.

"Leave this to me," Giff said, narrowing his eyes menacingly at the evil barker. Ever since he'd first learned of Mr. Hyde, maybe an hour or two ago, he'd anticipated a clash with the demon. He had not expected Hyde to make the first move, and against one of his granddaughters and a friend of his other granddaughter at that!

Well, this would not stand. Hyde may be an all-powerful demon, but he had just started a war he could not possibly win! It was personal now!

"Erm, do we stop this?" A perplexed Voidlon asked.

"No, hang on, I want to see where he's going with this," Namakelder said eagerly.

The wicked man leered at Giff, clearly unafraid. The fool. "Sure, go right ahead. You know the rules."

"I do indeed," Giff retorted. "And I won't need any of those balls!"

Giff opened a portal behind the embodiment of petty cruelty and shoved him through. Tortured screams and the breaking of bones could be heard, and moments later a Hell Gifftarian wearing the barker's tattered and bloodstained clothes emerged, the portal closing behind him.

He reached up and grabbed an extremely large and fluffy cobra plushy and a large and fluffy bee plushy and gave it to Giff, bowing his head in penitence. "Take these gifts as a token of gratitude for giving me a job, Lord Giff."

"Thank you," Giff said magnanimously, taking the plushy and giving it to an overjoyed Mystle. "Here you go, dear Mystle and Lovekov. Gifts for your beloved."

Mystle squealed in delight and hugged her new snake plushy, which was at least as big as she was, in delight. "It's so FLUFFY! Weiss, feel how fluffy it is!"

"Mystle, are we really going to ignore that a demon became a oh Oum, this is very fluffy," Weiss murmured, eyes going wide as Mystle pressed the plushy into her body.

Lovekov also squealed in delight and hugged her new bee plushy, which was at least as big as she was, in delight. "It's so FLUFFY! Astarte, feel how fluffy it is!"

"Lovekov, are we really going to ignore that Giff killed and replaced oh goodness this is very fluffy," Astarte murmured, eyes going wide as Lovekov pressed the plushy into her body.

"Giff! What did you do to the barker?!" Mera demanded.

"I gave this Hell Gifftarian a job as a barker." Giff said.

"I thank you, master." The Hell Gifftarian replied.

"And the real barker is suffering a horrible death at the hands of a legion of demons and we should probably get out of here now before anyone comes to bother us about the potential disappearance, the game you destroyed, the game Minami destroyed, the game Sakura destroyed, the game Hanna destroyed, the ride Ikki, Vice, Sho, Hosshiwa, Coco and Hibiki demolished, and whatever Genta, Yukumi, Voidlon and Taeko did to that goldfish place." Giff said, hurriedly pushing everyone away from the booth.

GLaDOS: [You're certainly doing poorly escaping legal action.]

RatZeu: [squeak!]

GLaDOS: [What? Politeness was not listed as a requirement for the job.]

"But… But we can't just-" Yuina protested.

"Kid, do you want to get banned from Hiden Land for life?" Vice asked.

"… Not particularly," She admitted.

"Then we can deal with whatever Giff just did later, accept that you are happy, and leave before the cops show up," Mera urged her.

The Hell Gifftarian, left to his own devices, started stacking more bottles and waited for new customers to try their luck. It wasn't like he had anything better to do, after all.

---

The Happy Spa, currently empty due to its owners (and a certain surprise visitor) going on a day trip, was silent. While usually the place was full of laughter, lively conversation, splashing baths, squeaky rubber ducks, siblings screaming at each other over who used up the last of the hot water, heavy metal, a mad scientist blowing things up that he really shouldn't, and uncomfortably loud moans of ecstasy due to unfortunately thin walls, all was still and quiet. It was a little uncanny, really.

And then the door was kicked off its hinges and smashed against the far wall, the bell jangling loudly as it impacted against the wall, fell off, and rolled across the floor, its jingles growing fainter and fainter until it vanished beneath the couch.

"Door's open!" Olteca yelled unnecessarily as he bounded into the house, exulting in the strength in his new legs.

"You didn't need to do that," Daiji protested, following after the former Deadmans leader along with the Deadlight members. "I have a key!"

"They probably changed the locks as soon as you moved out for good and joined the winning team, my folks certainly did," Olteca said dismissively.

"They wouldn't do that!" Daiji insisted, wishing he sounded more certain of that. "They… They wouldn't…"

"Look, I get you guys like your plans to be inscrutable, vague and conspiracy-like… but do we really need to go through all this trouble when we already know exactly where Giff is? Couldn't we just… get an Uber to Hiden Land and go find him?" Light asked, furrowing his brow in confusion as he browsed through the plan and walked in, scratching his head and wondering just what it was about his new team that made these people obsessed with making shady plans that may or may not actually cause mass civil unrest just for the sake of doing simple things.

By God, Calamity had a twelve step plan for going to the market that involved no less than seven different ways to murder the nobles of at least two other countries in the span of less than an hour and a half and how to hide the bodies so there wouldn't need to be a court case in the first place!

Though, thankfully, that one was a joke.

He hoped.

"If we did that, Kiko will get mad that we've taken the fun out of her megalomaniacal and overcomplicated plans. Thus, as long as we continue to make horrifically complex and possibly illegal plans while slowly working ever closer to our victory, the endgame will be us owning this world, and we really don't want to disappoint our megalomaniacal and quite literally royalty boss," Kronos explained, as if that actually answered Light's questions.

Which, sort of, but it raised many, many uncomfortable thoughts about the nature of Kiko's past that both he and Ryuk really did not want to entertain.

Taking a bracing breath, Light shut the journal with a snap and plastered on a fake smile to hide his internal anguish. "Very well then. Continue with your plotting, then. Oh, and, if you have time today, could you look over the finances? I have a sneaking suspicion that Professor Proton is skimming off the top."

"He's embezzling funds for drug-fueled mad science experiments once a month," Birch deadpanned, tossing over a sealed folder full of evidence and financial reports. "Do what you will with that."

"... Alright then," Ryuk blinked, sighed again, rubbed his forehead.

Erxkadnmlae and Akaishi entered behind him, glanced around, and frowned upon seeing the bathhouse was empty. "Nobody's here. Daiji, where would your family have gone? Is today anything special?"

Daiji frowned and shook his head. "No, I don't think so. It's a business day, I have no idea why the bathhouse would be closed. Hey, cut that out!" He yelled at Ruru, who was taking pictures off the wall, glancing at them with contempt, then dropping them on the floor.

"Why do you care? It's not like you live here anymore, or your family would welcome you back," Erxkadnmlae said dismissively.

"That's not true! They keep trying to convince me to come back all the time!" Daiji insisted.

Olteca raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Really? Why haven't you taken them up on it yet?"

"I… Because…" Daiji stammered.

"Just kidding, I don't actually care," Erxkadnmlae said, going out of his way to knock over furniture. Olteca paused to examine a picture carefully. "Huh, weird. I would have thought you would be persona non grata around here, but you seem to be showing up in a lot more pictures than your brother."

"What? Give me that," Daiji insisted, grabbing the picture from Olteca's hands and taking a good long look at it. His brow furrowed in confusion. He remembered this picture, they had taken it just before he got accepted into Fenix. The whole family had gotten their photo taken, and they needed to do multiple takes because they kept laughing hysterically at some stupid thing his father had said.

(… What was it? It had seemed so trivial, so stupid at the time, but now he couldn't think of anything he wanted to hear more. When was the last time he heard one of his father's jokes?)

There was something wrong with this picture, though. A gap where a person should have been.

Where was Ikki?

Confused, Daiji gently put the picture down and examined some of the other photos Olteca had dropped on the ground. Almost all of them were of his family. There were plenty of his father, of his mother, of his sister, of himself…

And almost none of Ikki. There was almost always a void where he should've been, leaving many of the pictures looking strangely incomplete.

"The hell?" He murmured, confused.

"Hey boss, I think I found something!"

Kronos' face turned ashen as he checked all of Olteca's phone for Giff's messages, including several of the more recent ones, many of which had pictures attached to them of the squad and Giff having fun at the amusement park, often with the tag, "Wish you were here!"

Daiji glanced up as Akaishi walked over to Olteca, who was standing in front of a calendar. The current date was circled, the words "Family Trip to Hiden Land" written on it in his mother's hand, a Post-it note beneath it saying "Don't forget to invite Daiji!"

Akaishi and Olteca slowly turned to Daiji, who paled. "… Daiji. When is the last time you checked your phone?" Akaishi asked with deceptive calm.

Flustered, Daiji fumbled in his pockets before producing his Gundephone50. Unlocking the screen, he discovered several notifications waiting for him. His mother had called…

And texted…

And sent an email…

His face turned ashen as he checked all his messages, including several of the more recent ones, many of which had pictures attached to them of the family and – Was that Giff? – Having fun at the amusement park, often with the tag, "Wish you were here!"

He slowly looked up into Metalseadran's face in a mirror that peered into Foundation Prime. "I… She keeps trying to reach out to me, asking me to come home… So I… I just started ignoring her-"

Metalseadran facepalmed, very hard. "Congratulations. Your family may have just doomed the entire human race before we got to it." Metalseadran said slowly, holding tremendous respect.

Akaishi turned and started for the exit. "Let's go. Lord Giff and crowded places with lots of people never end well."

Olteca gave Daiji a curious look as Akaishi left. "If you didn't want to hear from your mother, why didn't you just block her?"

Daiji stared at him. The idea had honestly never occurred to him. "I… I don't know."

Olteca snorted, punched him lightly in the ribs, then followed Akaishi. "Whatever."

Stifling a sob, Daiji fumbled for his mask-

"You're pathetic."

Startled, Daiji glanced up to see his own face looking back at him, a look of utter disgust on his features.

Daiji blinked, and realized he was looking into a mirror. "Kagerou?" He whispered.

There was no response. Of course there wasn't. Kagerou had died at his hands, this was just his reflection and nothing more.

Sometimes he wondered if the wrong one of them had died that day.

Pushing down his disappointment, he put his mask on and got back up, only to hesitate and glance back at the mirror. He took off his mask again to examine his reflection.

He still had the scar from when Akaishi threw coffee at his face.

Had his reflection had that scar a minute ago, though?

"Kagerou?"

Nothing happened.

Daiji waited another minute, then finally gave up, put his mask on, and left.

"What took you so long?" Olteca asked when Daiji finally rejoined Akaishi and the others.

"I thought I saw something-" Daiji started.

"I don't actually care. So, we're heading to Hiden Land, boss?" Olteca asked Akaishi. "You know, I'm not sure I've ever been. Well. Not for pleasure, that is." He tapped his chin in thought. "Then again, if you love what you do, can you really call it work?"

Akaishi scowled, lines of worry on his face as he scrolled through several feeds on his phone. "This is bad. There's already fires at the park, people were hurt, a Hell Gifftarian has been given a job?" He frowned in confusion, then put away his phone. "We have to get to Hiden Land immediately, before things get any worse. Those imbeciles have no idea what they've done, taking Lord Giff there! We must get him back at once!"

"AKAISHI!"

Startled, the villains turned to see a furious Hikaru racing towards them. "Hikaru?" Daiji murmured.

"Who is this guy?" Olteca wondered.

Akaishi frowned. "I… Have absolutely no idea."

"Hideeo Akaishi! When the silent alarm at the Igarashi bathhouse went off, I knew something was up, but I never expected to run into you of all people!" Hikaru cried.

Ruru glared at Olteca and the other Deadlight members along with Daiji and Akaishi in exasperation. "None of you thought to check for alarms?"

"Neither did you!" Olteca protested.

"I'm a robot, but even they can make mistakes." Ruru sniped.

"Today is the day you pay for your crimes wait, holy shit, is that Olteca? I thought he was dead!" Hikaru exclaimed.

"No, I was hibernating in Lord Giff's dimension the whole time," Olteca explained.

Hikaru frowned. "Really? That seems rather contrived."

"That's what I said," Daiji grumbled.

"Dude, I'm sorry, but who are you and why are you angry with Boomer McGee?" Kronos asked.

"… Are you serious? You really don't know who I am?!" Hikaru yelled angrily. "My name is Hikaru Ushijima, and you killed my father!"

Akaishi stared at him blankly. "I'm afraid you're going to need to be more specific, you've no idea how little that narrows it down."

"My father was Tasuke Ushijima!"

Birch gave him a bored look. "Ain't ringing a bell."

"He was one of the leaders of Weekend!"

Calamity shrugged.

"He had GLASSES!"

Akaishi gasped, recognition dawning. "Oh. Oh! HIM! I remember now! Which means you must be Kamen Rider Over Demons, right?"

Olteca blinked. "There's OVER Demons now? Wow, I really missed out on a lot, didn't I?"

"Hikaru, we don't have time for this," Daiji said desperately, not wanting a fight. "We have to get to Hiden Land, my family has done something tremendously stupid-"

"What, bringing Giff there? Yeah, I know, but to be honest, your family does have a tendency to pull off miracles," Hikaru admitted.

Daiji gawked. "You knew?!"

Hikaru nodded. "Of course, they let everyone know before going to the park so we wouldn't hear about it on the news, leap to the wrong conclusions, and do something stupid. I admit their plan to try and rehabilitate Giff is a long shot, but honestly, if anyone can pull it off, it just might be them."

"Re… Rehabilitate… Do you have any idea what you're talking about?!" Akaishi yelled incredulously. "Lord Giff is not a misunderstood entity who can simply change his ways! He is a superior being beyond our comprehension, his mind utterly unknowable, as beyond us as we are beyond ants!"

"Does that explain his fashion sense?" Olteca wondered, looking up pictures of "Giff" at the park on social media and making all sorts of disgusted expressions.

"It does, actually. Parts of the park are already in ruins!" Akaishi continued.

"Actually, I think most of that is because of the Igarashi family. Daiji, your family is insane," Zora told Daiji.

He sighed wearily. "I'm well aware."

"We must retrieve Lord Giff before someone says or does something to set him off, and take his wrath out on humanity!" Akaishi insisted. "If anything, you should be helping us, Ushijima!"

Hikaru narrowed his eyes. "I have no intention of doing that, Akaishi. First of all, I have faith in the Igarashis. I have no doubt that they'll find a way to pull this off. Daiji, you should believe in them too! They're your family, after all… And they still believe in you!"

Daiji clenched his fists and glanced away.

"And second… I cannot let my father and everyone else whom you've harmed go unavenged!" Hikaru declared, producing his Demons Driver and personal Vistamp. "To paraphrase Mr. Kadota… Even if it means laying down my life, I will stop you, and keep you from interfering with the Igarashis' plans!"

DEMONS DRIVER!

STAG BEETLE!

"Henshin!"

DEAL. DELETE UP! UNKNOWN! UNREST! UNLIMITED! KAMEN. RIDER. OVER DEMONS!

Olteca frowned as he took in Hikaru's outfit. "Meh. It looked better on me."

"It absolutely did not!" Daiji snapped.

"Now," Hikaru declared, swishing his O Wingal Shade. "In the name of my father, I will-"

Abruptly, something shot through the air and slammed into the back of his head before ricocheting off and smashing through the windshield of a nearby parked car, causing its alarm to go off, triggering the alarms on every other car in the block, much to everyone's consternation.

Hikaru stood there for a minute, then keeled over, his suit dissolving around him as he collapsed to the ground.

"What was that?" A disturbed Ink Blotch wondered.

Daiji retrieved the object from the screaming car. "It… Looks like Kamen Rider Zero-One?" He said, baffled. "Wait, I think I recognize this… I think it was the puck at the high striker at Hiden Land! Sakura was always trying to win the grand prize on it. She always got a lot closer than Ikki or I did. Or dad. He almost threw out his back one time…"

But, thankfully everyone in the room that was part of Deadlight knew they were assholes and could feel their own sadistic and sinister grins answer the call.

They were all absolute bastards and it was time to start causing general chaos.

"We're going to make those X-Squad dweebs wish they were never born!" Birch giggled. Circe laughed along with her and soon the entire house was filled with mad laughter.

"Didn't expect you here, Light." A voice said.

Startled, the band turned to see a man with black hair walking towards them. "Damnit." Light murmured.

"Who is this guy?" Daiji wondered.

Ruru frowned. "I… Have absolutely no idea."

"When the silent alarm at the Happy Day Spa went off, I knew something was up, but I never expected to run into you of all people." El explained. "Today is the day you are revealed as Kira...is that Olteca? I thought he was dead." El realized.

"No, I was hibernating in Lord Giff's dimension the whole time," Olteca explained.

El frowned. "Really? That seems rather convoluted."

"That's what Daiji said," Kronos grumbled.

"EL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Light exclaimed.

"I can ask you the same thing, being out with wanted mass murderers along with members of Fenix, seems like something Kira would do." El explained.

"Shit, El's onto me, I have to make it seem that one of those Fenix peasants is Kira, but knowing El, he'll see right through it." Light schemed in his mind.

"If Light is truly Kira, he'll pin the blame on one of the members of Fenix, but knowing Light, that would be too obvious." El planned, internally.

"Erm, better go before someone sees us." Megafin said.

Abruptly, something shot through the air and bonked the back of El's head before ricocheting off and smashing through the windshield of a nearby parked car, causing its alarm to go off, triggering the alarms on every other car in the block, much to everyone's consternation.

El stood there for a minute, then collapsed to the ground.

"What was that?" A disturbed Ryuk wondered.

Light retrieved the object from the screaming car. "It… Looks like Kamen Rider Build?" He said, baffled. "Wait, I think I recognize this… I think it was the puck at the Build Blitzer at Hiden Land! I was always trying to win the grand prize on it. I always got a lot closer than dad did. He almost threw out his back one time…"

"And it came this far?! We have to get over there immediately!" Akaishi cried.

"Sure, just a sec," Olteca said, crouching over El and Hikaru's body.

"What are you doing?" Zora asked, intrigued.

"Taking their wallets. And the Driver. And everything else in their pockets," Olteca replied. "Then I'm going to kill them."

"What?!" Kronos protested, as he was gonna kill them first.

"I think you'll find that I can," Olteca said, giving him a raised eyebrow. "Not only that, I should. He is an enemy, after all."

"Well… Yes, but… He'll be of no threat to us now!" Birch pleaded, turning to Metalseadran. "We don't need to kill him! You said it yourself, we don't have time for distractions!"

"I can make it really fast," Olteca promised. "A kick to the throat from one of my new legs should do the trick."

Metalseadran hesitated for a minute, then shook his head. "No, Birch is right, El and Hikaru aren't worth it. Actually, I'm pretty sure they aren't much of a threat to us anyway."

Olteca groaned, rolled his eyes, but reluctantly got up, stowing his new prizes in his pockets. "Ugh, fine."

As the villains started off, Light hesitated and glanced back over his shoulder at the unconscious El and Hikaru. "…Sorry," he said quietly, knowing it was nowhere near adequate.

"I cannot believe those imbeciles would do something this wild," Ruru fumes, looking at more social media images of Giff, the squad and the Akagawa and Igarashi family at the park. "If they had kept him at the spa, out of the public eye, this might not be so difficult, but… Attractions have been destroyed, people have been hurt and someone died. I can only wonder what chaos they're causing right now."

---

Giff and the squad watched in awe as the members of MetsubouJinrai struggled against their former comrade Little Assassin, who had been reborn and made into the new Kamen Rider Ark-Zero as dramatic music played and colored spotlights swept across the stage.

"Okay, just so you know, none of this is real, those are just guys in costumes up there, nobody's actually fighting and getting hurt, and it's all just special-effects-" Satsuki whispered into Giff's ear.

"I know what a play is," Giff snapped.

Everyone shushed them, and they immediately quieted down to continue enjoying the stage show with everyone else.

---

Hibiki was currently squealing and giggling in delight as she was simultaneously licked by a cheetah and a tiger, a falcon perched on her head as she hugged a baby kangaroo while in turn being hugged by a gorilla. "This is the best day ever! I want my own petting zoo!"

"Don't worry, Hibiki, once I have reestablished my own kingdom I will give you your own menagerie, made of the most loving and affectionate creatures from all over the galaxy. And possibly learn how to get them without attracting the cops." Amanojaku called to her as he nuzzled a wolf.

Lovekov was currently squealing and giggling in delight as she was simultaneously licked by a jackal and a panda, a snake sleeping on her head as she hugged a baby wolf while in turn being hugged by a polar bear. "This is the best day ever! I want my own petting zoo!"

"Don't worry, my love, once I have reestablished my own kingdom I will give you your own menagerie, made of the most loving and affectionate creatures from all over the galaxy!" Astarte called to her fondly as she petted a wolf.

"Can it be a harem/petting zoo?"

"But of course."

"I love you so much!" Lovekov cried.

"I love you too!" Astarte called back.

"So this is what it feels like for emotional wounds to heal," a wide-eyed Oresky said, burying his face into the soft fur of a wolf.

"Agreed," a wide-eyed Tamaki said, burying his face into the soft fur of a panda.

"I think I have just been adopted," Cyclonis, being held very tightly by a polar bear that was somehow standing up, announced. "And I have no problem with this."

"I believe I have also been adopted," George, being held very tightly by a gorilla, announced. "Since I'm currently dealing with unresolved daddy issues, I have no problem with this."

Laura and Hanna stared in amazement at the honest-to-Gaim woolly mammoth Doom, Johnathan, Akane, Genta and Yukumi were currently feeding. "Honey?"

"Yes, dear?" Kanade asked, cooing along with Sakura over a rather affectionate jackal.

"Aren't mammoths extinct?"

"They are, yes," Sakura replied, laughing as the jackal licked her.

"So…" Hana gestured at the mammoth.

And the Kuehneosuchus.

And the Ekaltadeta.

And the Arsinotherium.

And the Triceratops.

"How do you explain all of this, then?"

"Wait, all these animals are extinct?" Giff asked in surprise. "When did this happen?"

"Thousands of years ago," Satsuki said calmly as Cyclonis' new polar bear father did her hair with hair care products while George's new gorilla mother picked bugs out of her hair.

"Well, that can't be right, because they are clearly right before us," Giff said smugly as a Carnotaurus nuzzled him. "Next you'll tell me dodos are extinct!"

"They are!" Laura insisted.

A dodo walked right past her.

"Well, they're supposed to be!"

"And is it actually safe for us to be interacting with some of these animals?" A confused Drakus asked as a lion and a purring serval tiger rubbed up against his side. All around the petting zoo, he could see similar incidents, such as children riding a huge buffalo, playing with spiders and scorpions and hornets, and swimming in the same pool as penguins, whales, and sharks.

"When Hiden Intelligence scooped up what was left of ZAIA after the Arkland scandal one of the subsidiary companies they bought up was a cloning firm," Momoko explained, dangling from Cyclonis' polar bear "father" like an infant. "Using data from the Progrise and Zetsumerise keys, they were able to create a number of animals, including ones from extinct species, and used nanomachines and bioengineering to make them more docile, friendly, and harmless. Perfect for a petting zoo while at the same time being more interesting than the animals usually kept in a petting zoo."

"…So humanity has gained the ability to not only resurrect long dead species, but modify them to make them more compliant to their wishes?" Giff asked in alarm.

"Yep," Hajime said smugly. "And for no other purpose than to entertain children! It's a good thing Hiden Intelligence refuses to take military contracts because there's quite a lot of people who'd like to use bioengineered animals and cybernetics for combat purposes."

"I believe one of the companies they've partnered with is opening a theme park full of bioengineered dinosaurs on some island out in the Pacific," Leo commented.

"Aren't there several movies about why that's a horrible idea?" Yuina, currently covered in very affectionate penguins, asked.

"Yes, which is why they watched those movies to make sure they didn't make the same mistakes as the people in them," Tamaki replied, standing very still so as not to disturb the grasshopper sitting on his nose.

"Ah."

"That sounds awesome! We should go sometime!" Voidlon said eagerly.

Akane winced as a mammoth ran its trunk over her face. "Tickets to go out there are a little out of our price range, sorry."

"Boo, that's lame! I want to meet a real T Rex," Vice complained.

"There's a Carnotaurus right here," Ikki pointed out, as a Carnotaurus snuggled with Weiss like a giant puppy.

[DINO CUDDLES LESSS GOOO]

[dinopog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

GLaDOS: [What are you doing?]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

GLaDOS: [Stop that.]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

Crescendo: [POG]

Paladin Head: [pog]

Pyromaniac: [pog]

GLaDOS: [Are you seriously joining in? What do you hope to achieve with this nonsense?]

OogieBoogieMan: [pog]

MistressofAllEvil: [pog]

FlamingHot: [pog]

SeaWitch: [pog]

GLaDOS: [Do you not realize that you are only enabling their behavior?]

VoidBot: [Yep. What do we do about it?]

[oh shit]

[mod war]

GLaDOS: [Interesting. Humans engage in completely irrational behavior, often celebrating the most mundane of events.]

"A Carnotaurus is not a Tyrannosaurus and you know it!" Voidlon shot back. "Why do they have a Carnotaurus and a triceratops but not a T Rex?"

"Because there aren't any Tyrannosaurus Zetsumerise keys," Momoko replied.

"But why?" Voidlon whined.

Momoko shrugged.

"… Resurrecting species and altering them… You humans are playing God," Giff murmured, increasingly disturbed. "Do you not see how badly this could turn out for you? Your own creations could go out of control and destroy you."

"Oh, absolutely," Momoko told him. "We've had TV shows and movies and stories about stuff like that for decades."

"Then… Why do you persist in doing such things anyway?!" Giff demanded.

"Because of one thing, our skills at learning from our mistakes are jackshit." Satsuki replied.

"Ms. Miayanoshita, aren't we supposed to be giving Giff reasons not to wipe out humanity?" Tamaki hissed, unaware that a hedgehog had currently gotten on top of his head.

"Oh, right."

George's gorilla mother grunted and shook her head in disappointment.

"Look, Giff, humans are aware that our actions may have consequences, sometimes dire ones-" Yuina started.

"You do?" Sora asked.

Ignoring her, Yuina continued. "But if we only ever focus on what might go wrong, then we'll be too scared to advance as a species. Sure, bioengineering animals or resurrecting long dead species or making an AI could go badly… But it might not, also. It might even go better than we could ever have imagined. If we don't take a chance on anything, how can we ever have a future?"

Giff contemplated this for a moment. "It still seems as if you're playing with fire," he said finally.

Yuina smiled and shrugged. "Yeah, well, Prometheus gave it to us in the first place because he thought we might make something out of it, didn't he?"

"He did," Giff agreed. "And he was gutted for it."

"… Wait, did that actually happen?" Mera asked, surprised. "Was Prometheus a real person?"

"It's complicated," Amanojaku said evasively.

"Hello, Akagawa and Igarashi families!" A smiling Gridlocked dressed like a zookeeper with prosthetic arms and cybernetic crimson eyes said as he approached them. "It has been quite some time since you last visited us!"

"Hello, Mr. Zenkuji, it's been a while," Akane said warmly, as behind her, the mammoth abruptly picked up Iona, Johnny, Doom and Genta and started flailing them through the air, Hime getting dragged along as well. Louise was even so bold as to throw herself as one of the juggling items – and laugh along the way like a starry-eyed child as the mammoth grabbed her and tossed the six into the air. Even though the trunk alone looked bigger than any of them, there was still a sense of gentleness about the beast.

"You know this Gridlocked?" Satsuki asked Yuina.

She nodded. "He's the one who runs the petting zoo. We've been coming here for years, so of course he remembers us." She smirked. "In fact, he's one of mine and Ikki's favorite park employees. He rescued us from a tree that one time Sparky the Giraffe put me there."

"And speaking of Sparky, there's someone who would like to see you," Zenkuji said as a large giraffe trotted up and bent down to nuzzle Sora.

"Oh, hey! Sparky, right? It's a pleasure to meet you," she greeted the giraffe, petting its horns.

Yuina facepalmed, Vice cringed, and Zenkuji, Johnny, Akane, and the Igarashis except for Ikki, gave Sora confused looks. "Erm, Sparky died a while ago, this is her daughter Stampy," a perplexed Yukimi told her.

Sora froze. "It is?"

Akane nodded. "Yeah, Yuina and Ikki cried for days when they found out she died."

"They even composed a beautiful haiku for her funeral," Zenkuji recalled. "It was very moving."

"How did it go?" Doom, seeming completely okay with being juggled by the mammoth, asked.

Yuina shrugged. "Um… Well… The thing is, it was so long ago, I can't really remember it."

"It was just last year," Akane prompted.

Sakura nodded. "They stayed up all night trying to come up with the perfect eulogy. Daiji nearly strangled Ikki because he had that important assignment the next day and he needed some sleep and Yuina almost fainted from lack of sleep."

"Look, if Ikki doesn't feel like reciting that old haiku, he doesn't have to, okay?" Vice snapped. "It was a very emotional time for him, so maybe he doesn't feel like thinking about it, huh? Did you ever consider that?!"

"Vice, it's okay-" Ikki started.

"So stop harassing him about stuff like this! He can remember just fine! There's NOTHING wrong with his memory!" He yelled.

"Nobody said there was anything wrong with his memory," a confused Tamaki spoke up. "Why, is there something wrong with it?"

Everyone stared at Ikki for a minute.

"So… Ikki, is there something going on with your memory-" Roman started.

"Hey, what the heck is going on with Elle and Lovekov?" Voidlon realized, pointing over at Elle and Lovekov, both of whom practically disappeared beneath a mound of incredibly affectionate animals, giggling and laughing gaily as they showered the two in licks and nuzzles and hugs.

"LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!" She cheered.

Sakura facepalmed. "You take an eye off of her for one minute…"

"She gets that from you, you know," Hana said fondly.

"What? Being an animal magnet?"

Hanna shook her head and kissed her on the cheek. "No. Being absolutely adorable and great at cuddles."

"Elle!" Elle cheered.

Weiss facepalmed. "We take an eye off of her for one minute…"

"Don't know if she gets it from her dad or her mom, you know," Mystle said, perplexed.

"What? Being an animal magnet?"

Mystle shook her head and kissed her on the cheek. "No. Being absolutely adorable and great at cuddles."

Weiss and Sakura turned very red at this.

"Excuse me, are those children yours?" A very cross middle-aged woman wearing far too much jewelry and makeup demanded, marching over.

"No, what of it?" Weiss asked warily, instinctively despising her with every fiber of her being.

"They're causing a disturbance and keeping the other children from playing with their favorite animals! Get them out of here at once!" the woman demanded.

"Elle and Lovekov aren't causing a disturbance," Weiss retorted. "They're just having fun. And it's not as if she's hogging all the animals, a lot of the bugs, smaller animals, and aquatic creatures are still free to play with."

"Hmph! Typical selfishness and lack of discipline," the woman sneered. "Underaged lower-class teenage mothers like yourselves clearly don't understand the importance of responsibility, sharing, and sacrifice."

"Hey, don't you dare talk about my snow princess like that!" A furious Mystle yelled, clutching the heiress's arm.

"And don't you dare talk about my Sakura like that!" A furious Hanna yelled, clutching her girlfriend's arm.

"Oh, and of course you're dykes too, that explains so much-" the woman started, and Mystle would've smashed her face in then and there if Yukumi, Drakus, Kanade and Ice Bear hadn't suddenly tackled her out of nowhere and started smashing her head against the closest ice cap, making her bleed, Drakus screaming at the top of his lungs not to insult his surrogate sister, future sister-in-law, or precious baby surrogate sister, Kanade growling in feral rage, Ice Bear calmly dressing down the Karen and Yukumi screaming at the top of her lungs not to insult her daughter, future daughter-in-law, or precious granddaughter.

[YEAH]

[whoop that Karen]

[rip her apart]

Everyone stared.

"Goddamn," George and Cyclonis uttered.

"Oh wow, so that's where you get it from," Hanna murmured, very aroused.

"I did not know Mrs. Igarashi was this scary," Tamaki whimpered.

"Yeah, Mama is hard-core," Genta said in approval, still being juggled. "By the way, could someone save me? All the blood is rushing to my head."

"Yep, that's who you're cousin-in-law's gonna be," Zinnia murmured.

"I did not know Voidlon was this scary," Sora whimpered.

"Yes, it seems Prince Voidlon is brutally efficient," Doom said in approval, still being juggled. "By the way, could someone rescue me, Iona, Hime and Johnathan? All the blood is rushing to our heads. And I'm scared for Louise."

"HELP ME!" the obnoxious middle-aged woman screamed at Zenkuji.

"I'm sorry, but I'm on my break," he said apologetically. "I'm not supposed to do anything related to my job right now, or I could get kicked out of the union. In any event, ma'am, that language is not appreciated in this park. Hiden Land is a family establishment, and all families are welcome here. Please keep that in mind for your next visit."

"You're really cool, Zenkuji," Sora gushed.

[agreed]

[boost his ratings]

[he's nice]

"Yes, I am. Also, Stampy is eating your hair," Zenkuji warned her, causing Sora to yelp. The zookeeper tutted and shook his head. "Oh, Stampy, you're incorrigible."

The giraffe gave him a shameless grin.

Everyone laughed, except for the enraged Yukimi, roaring Voidlon, still growling Kanade, possibly homicidal Ice Bear, and their mutual hapless victim, who was dead from the blunt force trauma.

"Dad, was that really necessary?" An uneasy Cyclonis asked.

"Ice Bear thought that brat had it coming," Ice Bear said calmly as Giff stared at him in disbelief.

"She really did," agreed Voidlon.

"If they hadn't done that, I would have," Sakura asserted.

"They got there before I did," Mera admitted.

"Grandma was awesome! I want to be just like her when I grow up!" Lovekov cheered.

"So do I," Hanna added, much to Sakura's mortification.

"…Are you sure that the bear doesn't have any of your cells?" Amanojaku whispered to Giff.

"Well, I did bite that bear's ancestor before I was captured by NOAH, it's possible there were… Side effects," Giff murmured back.

Vice grimaced. "You think WHY IS THE PETTING ZOO ON FIRE?!"

The three of them stopped, staring in disbelief at the petting zoo, which was indeed on fire, with fire fighter Gridlocked led by Hinosuke with help from the mammoth and several of the other animals, who'd evidently been trained to put out fires, working together to extinguish the flames. Several of the parkgoers stared in disbelief at the dwindling blaze, with the Igarashi and Akagawa clan and X-Squad looking guilty and shell shocked, or done with everything and just want to get a drink, except for Voidlon, Kanade, Ice Bear and Yukimi, who were very smug, even if they were covered in blood.

"Well, Akagawa and Igarashi family, as always, it has been exciting to have you visit," Zenkuji said, walking over. "However, I would strongly recommend you move on to another section of the park. Immediately. And not come back here for a few weeks, unless you want to get slapped with a lifetime ban."

Coco gasped in horror. "No! Then I can't get to play with the animals again!"

Akane nodded in understanding. "Right, we don't want a repeat of the time Johnathan got stuck in the whale's blowhole and it nearly asphyxiated. Akagawa family – and associates – move out!"

"Hang on, where's Sora and Tamaki?" Sora suddenly realized.

"Um, anyone? Help?" Sora, clinging to the branch of a surprisingly short tree for dear life, called.

"Help! The giraffe put us in this tree, and I just discovered I'm afraid of heights!" Tamaki, frantically clinging to the branch of the same tree for dear life, called desperately.

Zenkuji gave Stampy a disapproving look. "Oh, Stampy, you're incorrigible."

The giraffe gave him a shameless grin.

Everyone laughed, except for Sora and Tamaki, who kept calling for help.

---

Giff stared up in fascination at the next attraction he and the rest of the Akagawa and Igarashi family (and the X-Squad, Georgina and Ice Bear) were in line for. It was a long tubular structure which curved back on itself, so that the entrance and exit weren't too far from each other, a large pond full of heart-shaped lily pads and heart-shaped islands with Sakura trees whose petals were somehow grown in heart shapes placed between the two ends. The trees were connected by red strings with paper talismans cut in heart shapes dangling from them.

The exterior of the structure was covered in hearts and pictures of numerous famous couples who had apparently ridden the ride at some point, including several heroes, all of them looking very happy and very much in love. The entrance to the ride was a large archway with statues of Aruto Hiden and his wife Izu standing on either side, hands clasped in the middle with loving expressions on their faces, a very large sculpture of the upper body of a Gridlocked with a cybernetic right arm looming over them with a hand on either of their shoulders, a proud smile on his face, a very large heart on his chest with the words "Enmusubi Match's Best Match" written on it in glowing letters. While Ice Bear put a life vest on Cyclonis. Somehow Cyclonis' new father and George's new mother had come with them, and nobody was really sure how to get rid of them, because honestly, what sort of person willingly tries to run the fade with a 300 pound ape or a 990 pound bear with ninja stars and Kung Fu moves?

An artificial stream ran beneath the arch and into the structure, coming out on the other end and looping back around to the beginning. Couples boarded Swan-shaped boats decorated in red string and love charms that carried them into the building, and at some point came out the other end, looking very happy and in love. After disembarking, the empty boat was then carried down the stream back to the start by a cable resembling a red string to begin the process all over again.

"Exactly what sort of ride is this?" He asked his hosts.

"It's a tunnel of love," Satsuki explained. "It's a relaxing, romantic sort of ride that gives couples an excuse to cuddle and be more affectionate with each other than is usually socially acceptable in public."

"I wanted to go on one of these for the longest time, Hibiki!" Coco sang happy, hanging off her arm. "This is going to be so much fun!"

"According to the brochure, at the end of the ride, if a couple is truly meant to be, they receive a message from Enmusubi Match himself confirming this and blessing them with a long and happy life together," Mera said, examining a pamphlet.

"And what if they don't get a message from Mr. Match, love?" Minami asked, clearly worried about what the matchmaker might say about the two of them.

"A partial ticket refund and a coupon for a session with him to help you find your true Best Match," Taeko read.

"This Gridlocked truly has such power?" Giff asked in astonishment.

"No, they probably just say that for marketing purposes," Drakus said dismissively.

"I dunno, I've heard that Enmusubi Match is extremely good at matching people with their perfect partners, and ever since Zea became an officially recognized deity, his success rate has gotten even greater," Yuina spoke up. "To the point that there has become an increasingly high demand for his product model, and anything that has his brand of approval on it is almost certain to result in a happy and long-lasting marriage. I think the Church of the Divine Zero considers him a God of Love now?"

[oh damn]

[we should fear this man]

GLaDOS: [I like this one. He gets to live.]

[can i say mommy yet for Yukumi?]

RatZeu: [Squeak]

Smoke: [Rat says no]

"Bet you wanna bring Gentlu on this," Drakus teased Eleanor.

"Maybe, but I can't work up the courage to even ask her out," Eleanor said quietly. "I mean… What if Match says we aren't a Best Match? What then?"

"Honey, most people never find their Best Match, and are still able to live long and fulfilling lives with other people," Akane assured her. "Plus this is how me and your father met, Yuina."

"I wanna ride with you, Kanade!" Laura cried.

"And ride we shall, dear," Kanade promised fondly. "And I assure you, whether or not we are declared a Best Match, my feelings for you will never change."

"YAY!" Laura squealed, hugging her happily.

"Bet you always wanted to bring Ayaka on this," Vice teased, though there was more than an undercurrent of sadness in his voice.

"Maybe someday, but I never worked up the courage to even ask her out," Ikki said quietly. "I mean… What if Match said we weren't a Best Match? What then?"

"Honey, most people never find their Best Match, and are still able to live long and fulfilling lives with other people," Yukimi assured him. "… Granted, your father and I were labeled Best Match the first time we rode on here, but that doesn't change anything. I think."

"I have so many fond memories of riding the Best Match with you," Genta said fondly. "Some of them probably weren't even fabricated!"

"This one certainly won't be," Yukimi promised, leaning against her husband lovingly.

"I wanna ride with you, Astarte!" Lovekov cried.

"And ride we shall, my little Lamia," Astarte promised fondly. "And I assure you, whether or not we are declared a Best Match, my feelings for you will never change."

"LOVE!" Lovekov squealed, hugging her happily.

Giff mused this. A Best Match. A perfect partner for himself? He'd never believed such a thing was possible, but… Perhaps…

Oh, wait, there was one problem.

"What, ah, what happens if a single person takes a ride?" Giff asked, uncertain.

The squad exchanged glances. "Well, there's nothing stopping them from doing so, it's just… You know, generally expected that only couples ride," Yuina admitted.

For a moment, Giff wondered if maybe he should sit this ride out. It wasn't as if he had anyone to ride with, after all-

Wait. Unless…

"George, would you like to be my potential Best Match?" Giff asked the scientist abruptly.

Everyone stared at him in disbelief. "What," George stated.

"Neither of us are romantically involved with anyone else, and you have demonstrated clear interest in me, given how much you've been staring at me when you think I'm not looking and asking me for pieces of my body," Giff said, causing everyone to stare at an increasingly embarrassed George. "You are not aesthetically unpleasant as far as humans go, and your hair ties and glasses help distinguish you from other members of your species. Also, you said we were best friends now, and I've heard that many lovers start out as best friends!"

"I. Um. I did say that, yes," George said slowly. He considered for a moment. "Well. I suppose, if we did start a relationship, that would be one way for me to get new cell cultures-"

"Ook!"

George's gorilla mother glared at Giff and pulled her adopted son away from him, shaking her head fiercely.

George winced. "Oh. Sorry, Giffrey, looks like Georgina doesn't approve of this."

"You named her after yourself?" Sakura asked, disturbed.

"No, I named her after my mother, whom I'm named after," George said defensively. "There's nothing weird about it!"

"Riiiiiiiiiight," Vice said sarcastically.

"Mrs. Karizaki-" Giff started.

"That's Ms. Karizaki, Daddy hasn't put a ring on her yet," George interrupted.

Ikki blinked. "Is that. Is that a thing that might actually happen?"

George shrugged. "I dunno."

"Ms. Karizaki," Giff tried again. "I beg you to reconsider. As a mother, surely you want your offspring to find an ideal match to reproduce with to ensure your genetic legacy lives on! As a demon, I assure you, my genes are second to none! Our offspring would dominate this world!"

"She's… She's not George's actual mother, she just adopted him like a couple of hours ago," Hanna pointed out.

"Humans and gorillas aren't that genetically dissimilar," Giff said dismissively.

"Your… Your offspring… How would that work? You both are guys," Tamaki pointed out.

Everyone stared at him. "Giff, do..do you not know how human reproduction works?" Astarte asked finally.

"Of course I do! Two humans have sexual intercourse, and nine months later a new human is born through a horribly messy and unnecessarily painful process," Giff said. "I really don't know why it's like that, you'd think whoever created your species could have done a better job."

"You are not the only one who thinks so," Yukimi grumbled.

"Blame the Overlord of Darkness, I guess," Genta said.

"Oh, I definitely do."

"Yes, Giff. That is how a baby is made… When a male and a female human do it," Astarte emphasized slowly. "It doesn't work if a male and a male human or female and a female human do it."

"Really?" Giff asked in astonishment. "But that's so inefficient!"

"Wait, then Mommy and Mama can't ever give me a little sister one day?" Lovekov asked in dismay.

"No, I can allow that to happen," Astarte promised her.

Sakura and Hana stared at her in astonishment. "Wait, what?!"

"Ook!" Georgina grunted decisively.

"Yeah, sorry, that's not good enough for her. Sorry Giffrey," George said, looking genuinely disappointed. "If it helps, I was kind of looking forward to it too." He sighed, then shrugged. "Oh well. Guess I'll have to go back to pining after Hiromi, then. I'd love to take that man out to a parufait sometime."

"Don't you mean parfait?" Ikki asked.

"Jamayto, Jamahto," George said.

"But… Ms. Karizaki, please! If your son does not ride with me, who else will he ride with? Tamaki?" Giff pleaded.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Tamaki wondered.

George stared at him for a moment, then shuddered and shook his head. "Yeah, no, I'm just gonna sit this one out."

"So are the two of us," Ikki said, nodding at Vice.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea about us," Vice agreed. "And besides, we are already a Best Match! Platonically. Just like Sento Kiryu and Ryuga Banjo!"

"There are millions of people who think otherwise," George pointed out.

"Banjo has a girlfriend!" Vice countered.

"Yeah, a lot of people that are possibly bitter about the fact that they won't get to date either of them like to pretend she doesn't exist." Lune snarked.

"Oh. Then… Georgina, would you-" Giff began.

"OOK!"

"That's a pretty obvious no," George told the upset Giff apologetically. "Sorry, man. I wouldn't mind having you as a step dad."

"… Really?" A disturbed Hanna asked.

"Sure, just so long as I could use him as a steady source of Giff cells!" George said cheerfully.

Desperate, Giff turned towards his last hope. "Then… Tamaki, will you be my potential Best Match?"

Tamaki stared at him, eyes wide in horror. He looked to the others for help, but they just gestured for him to go along with it. "I. Uh. Well. Er. The, um, the thing, I mean, I guess, maybe-"

Suddenly, two people pushed through the line, ignoring everyone's cries of indignation, and one of them pointed at Tamaki. "You! Are you single?" as the other just stared at Blake. "Hey, need someone to accompany you?"

Tamaki stared at the woman, startled and more than a little intimidated. She was a humanoid yellow-orange scaled snake woman dressed in an orange shirt with a built in trench coat/dress combo with yellow trimming and amber stripes. She wore orange leggings with yellow trimming and amber stripes, darker orange boots with brighter yellow highlights. Orange fingerless elbow length gloves with yellow trimming, highlights, and patterns covered her arms. "Uhhhhhhh."

Meanwhile, Blake was flushed at the very cute gal in front of her, she was short with a fair skin tone, cold brown eyes and shoulder-length pale blond hair with a braid on the left side, wearing a silver hair clip to the side of her face and a prominent ahoge, she was also wearing a white shirt with a light brown tie, earbuds that are connected to a type of mobile phone on the lower left pocket, a blue jacket over her shirt, light brown tights, a short, pleated dark gray skirt with a shape of a star, and dark gray ankle shoes and on her breast pocket is a pin. "Erm, sure."

"The Lamias are not extinct?" Astarte asked hopefully.

"Actually, she's a Pythonian, a pleasure oriented serpentine race of aliens who recently set up a colony on Earth," George corrected her, eyeing the snake woman with interest. "I've heard that their goddess and Zea have started courting. That should have an interesting theological and sociological impact…"

"I'll take that as a yes," the woman said, immediately taking Tamaki's hand and wrapping her tail around his leg. "My name is Ampaz. And you?"

"G-Go Tamaki. But, miss, I-"

He went silent when she gave him a pleading look. Her eyes were very red and tear stains covered her scaly cheeks. "I just had a very bad, very public breakup with my fiancé, and I… I just… I can't be alone right now, and I want to remind myself that true love really does exist, even if vicariously."

"I…" Tamaki swallowed, face very red. "Th-then I would be honored to be your temporary companion, Miss Ampaz."

She sighed gratefully and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Thank you, Tamaki."

"Name's Mikoto Itsuki, professional bodyguard, don't suppose you need protection, do you?"

"Erm, I would love to, but please try to keep professional." Blake said.

Everyone stared in disbelief. "… Did Tamaki of all people just score with a hot chick on the rebound?!" Vice asked incredulously.

"Go, Blake! She's really pretty!" Yang cheered for Blake.

"Y-yes, they are," Astarte agreed, looking flustered. Hana and Sakura stared at her, raising eyebrows. "Look, I like snakes and blondes, all right, I have a type!"

Lovekov giggled and hugged her, causing her to turn redder.

Hana considered this, then smiled, nodded, and cuddled up against Sakura, causing her to blush. "Yeah, likewise."

"But… But then who will I ride with?" Giff asked in disappointment.

"You don't have to ride, Giff," Ikki pointed out gently. "You could wait with us."

"But then I will be missing out on a crucial experience which will give me further insight into human courtship and relations!" Giff protested. "I will never find my Best Match!"

"Which, again, isn't that big a deal," Yukimi pointed out.

"Says the woman who got a Best Match the first time she rode with her future husband," George pointed out. "Assuming that actually happened?"

Yukimi frowned, uncertain. "Well… I'm pretty sure it did… And I know we've gotten labeled Best Match every other time we've been here, and that did happen! I… think."

Vice shrugged. "Well, unless you can whip up a boyfriend or girlfriend out of the blue, tough luck."

Giff froze.

Everyone glared at Vice, and he realized he'd screwed up. "WAIT NO I WASN'T SERIOUS-"

He opened a portal and he gazed out onto a forest, where a disheveled, unkempt man was standing over a dead body, panting and clutching his side.

Giff grinned in excitement. He was alive! "Azuma!"

The man looked up and reeled back, tripping over the body and sprawling out on the ground. "What the-"

"Azuma! Do not be afraid, it is I, Lord Giff!" Giff exclaimed, stepping out of the portal and removing his glasses. "I am wearing a cunning disguise, see? I am pretending to be human! I know, I know, it's hard to believe, but it's really me under all this!"

The man, Azuma, stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded. "Lord Giff… After all these centuries… It's really you?"

"Yes!" Giff assured him. "I've actually been back for several weeks now. I was somewhat surprised when I didn't see you at my resurrection. Where have you been? Akaishi always changed the subject when I asked."

"Akaishi… He and I have not spoken to each other for… Quite some time," Azuma murmured, staring at Giff in wonder and disbelief, as if he was half expecting him to disappear at any minute. "It's… It's really you? After all these millennia, you're finally back?" Much to Giff's discomfort, he started tearing up. "Oh, my Lord… You have no idea how long I've waited for this day. I was beginning to think you would never come back…"

"Yes. Well. I'm here, as promised," Giff said, feeling slightly uncomfortable. Had something happened between Azuma and Akaishi? Why hadn't he been present at his revival?

It was then he noticed a large, ugly wound in his disciple's side. "You've been stabbed! Why has your injury not regenerated?"

Azuma glanced down at his wound and grimaced. "My apologies, my Lord, but after all these years, it would seem my immortality is starting to wear off."

"What?! Well, that just won't do," Giff said in indignation, pointing a hand at Azuma and showering him with red particles, causing his stab wound to begin to close up. "There, that should at least do you for another hundred thousand years," he said as Azuma looked at his regenerating flesh in awe.

Looking on the brink of tears again, Azuma knelt before him and bowed his head to the ground. "My Lord, I thank you for this gift. Why have you sought me out? Is it time to pass judgment on humanity?" He hesitated, then asked, "Have you decided that we are beyond salvation?"

Giff hesitated. "I have… Not yet decided," he said vaguely. "My judgment can wait for another time, though. There is another matter I require your assistance with. Something of absolute importance."

Azuma looked up, concern in his eyes. "What is it, my lord?"

"I need a date."

Azuma stared at him blankly. "… I'm sorry, what?!"

The HumaGear attendant frowned skeptically at Coco and Hibiki. "And… The two of you are a couple?"

"We are."

"Yes!"

"And… you are how old?" The attendant asked.

"I have lived for so long I've lost count," Coco admitted.

Hibiki rubbed the back of her head. "I'm at most around 17."

The attendant's frown deepened.

Coco sighed. "Look, if it helps, I'm a Shinigami, so age is nothing for me… And besides, technically I could be of legal age. LOL"

The HumaGear gave them a dubious look. "I must consult with Mr. Match."

He closed his eyes, his ear modules lighting up and buzzing.

"Okay, he says the two of you are clearly very much in love and can go ahead," he said after a moment.

"Yay!" Hibiki cheered, hugging him, much to his surprise.

The HumaGear attendant then looked skeptically at Astarte and Lovekov. "And… The two of you are a couple?"

"We are."

"Yes, love!"

"And… you are how old?" The attendant asked.

"I have lived for so long I've lost count," Astarte admitted.

Lovekov scratched her head. "Um… I'm not actually sure… I'm either a few months old, as old as my mommy, or somewhere in between."

"And who is your mommy?" The attendant asked.

"Her." Lovekov pointed at Sakura, who was clearly still in her high school years.

The attendant's frown deepened.

Astarte sighed. "Look, if it helps, we're both demons, so age works differently for us… And besides, given my age, technically I'd still be cradle robbing even if she was the standard human age of maturity."

The HumaGear gave them a dubious look. "I must consult with Mr. Match."

He closed his eyes, his ear modules lighting up and buzzing.

"Okay, he says the two of you are clearly very much in love and can go ahead," he said after a moment.

"Yay!" Lovekov cheered, hugging him, much to his surprise.

Taeko frowned in concern as Coco and Hibiki got into the boat, where they put on seatbelts made of red string. "Where is Giff? If he doesn't get back soon, we'll have to get on without him and he'll have to go to the back of the line and wait another half hour for his turn to come again!"

"Longer than that, my love, more people have gotten in line, and the wait time has increased significantly," Voidlon corrected her.

"Do you think he'll lose it and start blowing stuff up if he has to wait?" Mera asked in concern. "He seemed really invested in riding and finding out who his Best Match might be."

Kanade grimaced. "If we're responsible for destroying another attraction, we could be in real trouble."

"Hey, what happened at the stage show wasn't our fault," Mera insisted. "We had nothing to do with those pyrotechnics malfunctioning and setting everything on fire!"

"At least we got to see how the show ended," Minami said optimistically.

"Seriously, where is he, I'm beginning to get worried-" Voidlon began to say.

"Make way! Coming through! My family is holding my place in line, this is fine!"

Giff suddenly shoved his way to the front of the line, ignoring the cries of dismay and outrage, dragging a very confused looking disheveled man with him. "Family! I have returned! And I have someone to ride the Best Match with me, to see if we are a Best Match!"

For some reason, everyone except the X-Squad stared at him in horror, as for the X-Squad and George, they were struggling not to laugh. "Giff, did you kidnap a homeless person just so you wouldn't have to sit out the ride?" Mera asked.

"What? No!" Giff replied in indignation. "Well. Yes. Technically. Except that I didn't kidnap him, he came willingly!"

"And I'm not homeless, I'm a hermit, I have a perfectly good cave," the very bewildered man said defensively.

"I'm pretty sure that's just a step up from being homeless, man," Minami argued. "Or possibly a step down."

The man grimaced, unable to counter that.

"And… Who exactly is this hermit, Giffrey?" Yuina asked delicately.

"His name is-" Giff started.

"Azuma?!" Amanojaku and Astarte stammered in surprise.

Azuma gasped. "Lord Amanojaku?! Lady Astarte?!"

Giff cursed. Dammit! How could he have forgotten that the three of them had met before?!

"You know him?" Satsuki asked in surprise.

Amanojaku nodded. "Yes, Azuma, much like Akaishi, is an immortal disciple of Giff who was tasked with guiding humanity in his master's absence. But while Akaishi did his best to lay down the groundwork, Azuma was charged with offing those who could pose threats to mankind."

"I'm retired," Azuma wearily said. "I haven't assassinated anyone since World War II, where I lost all faith in humanity and came to believe that no matter how many people I killed, nothing would make a difference, and our species would only destroy ourselves."

Giff started, looking at Azuma in surprise. He hadn't known any of this, and… Wait. There had been a world war? Two world wars?!

How much did Akaishi not tell him?

"I'm not here to pick a fight," Azuma assured them, raising his hands. "Lord Giff invited me here so we could go on this ride together."

[seriously give azuma a break]

[is this an excuse to punt giff?]

[Is ThIs An ExCuSe To PuNt GiFf?]

[demon gain big strong, soon take over jungle]

[bro when the fuck did we return to monke?]

Giff sighed in relief. "Yes! That is exactly the case! I know Azuma from way back, and he happened to be in the neighborhood, so I teleported to him and asked if he would like to meet the family and come on the ride with us!"

Azuma bowed humbly. "It is an honor to meet the chosen family of the mighty Lord Giff."

"Thank you…?" Yuina asked uncomfortably.

"Wait, I thought you said you were retired," Minami pointed out.

"That does not mean I do not still believe in Lord Giff," Azuma replied, narrowing his eyes at her. "Something you could learn a thing or two about."

"Do not deride her, Azuma," Giff spoke up, much to Azuma's surprise. "While it is tragic she lost her brother, she has still found love with one of my descendant's friends, one with great potential."

"That is true," Azuma acknowledged. "My apologies, Lady Minami. While I am disappointed that you do not believe in our Lord, you have made a wise choice seeking a partner in a friend of his granddaughter."

"… Thanks. I think so too," Minami admitted, smiling at a blushing Mera.

"So, are we just going to ignore the fact that he just admitted he's been murdering people for thousands of years?" Exzom started.

"Probably," Kanade said with a shrug. "I mean, to be fair, most of us have killed a lot of people too. You'd be surprised how little people seem to care about that for some reason."

He gave her a disturbed look.

The attendant cleared his throat. "While this is all very nice, are you going to get on or not? You're holding up the line, and there are a great many customers who want to take a ride and see if they are Best Matches."

"Oh, right, sorry," Voidlon said apologetically.

"Why did we even come up all this way we weren't even going to get on in the first place?" Zap and everyone who didn't have a romantic partner stepped aside, the boat with Kanade and Laura moved into the tunnel, and the rest of their friends started boarding swans in pairs.

"To show family solidarity," Julie replied.

"And in my case, so as not to miss out on any of the hilarity," Oresky said in amusement.

"Ook."

Giff and Azuma went next. Zinnia and Cyclonis were the last to board a boat, and, after the attendant made sure they were safely buckled up, the boat riders were sent on their way, passing beneath the archway and into the tunnel. It was much darker inside than it had been outside, and the air was cool, but not unpleasantly so, and smelled like roses. Purple and pink lights shaped like hearts illuminated the passage, and on ledges lining either side of the tunnel were dozens of yellow and black or white and teal mechanical grasshoppers rubbing their legs together and generating a surprisingly soothing melody with vaguely romantic undertones. Just then Zap accidentally fell into a boat, and a blue-skinned boy sat beside him.

---

"So, this is what passes for a tunnel of love these days," Azuma mused.

"Have you rode on one before?" Giff inquired.

"Not really, but I've heard about them," Azuma admitted. He paused, then glanced at his master. "I'm sure you have questions."

Giff nodded. "What do you mean you 'retired?' Why didn't Akaishi tell me about this? And… What's this about a second world war?! Why was there even a first one?!"

Azuma sighed wearily. "Akaishi and I had a falling out decades ago, and the war was the reason. Well, one of the reasons." He folded his hands, glancing down at them. "For thousands of years, I have attempted to fulfill my contract to you, trying to guide humanity on the right path by performing targeted assassinations to remove individuals Akaishi calculated would have a negative impact on humanity. Often it worked. Other times it… Didn't."

He grimaced. "When the twentieth century dawned on us, we foresaw that humanity was poised to enter a new era of unheard of prosperity… And atrocity. While humanity had managed to advance a great deal in the arts and sciences, on a societal level they were often lacking. Racism, sexism, classism, discrimination of all stripes was still a problem. Tensions were growing between nations. Humanity was on the brink of tearing itself apart, more so than they even realized, and the time was still not right for your revival. Akaishi and I believed that if something was not done soon, humanity would destroy itself. So, we hit upon an idea. We would take advantage of all this tension, this strife, this hatred, and give it a spark to ignite it into an open flame."

"Why would you do such a thing?" Giff asked, appalled. "That was the exact opposite of your mission!"

"Akaishi believed that if left to fester, all these underlying problems would boil over and destroy humanity," Azuma explained. "However, he thought that if we were to set off prematurely, while there would indeed be a disaster, it would not be nearly as bad as it would be if left unchecked and passed down the line. He dispatched me to assassinate a single man. An Archduke. This set into motion a chain of events which triggered a war, one like anything the world had ever seen before. The first World War."

"It enveloped the entire planet?" Giff asked in horror.

"Well, no, it was actually largely centered around a single continent, but lots of other countries got involved," Azuma clarified. "It was a war unlike any other. Some believed it to be the war to end all wars… Which was, of course, our intention. We believe that if humans were made to realize just how devastating warfare could be thanks to advances in modern technology and weaponry, how pointless and brutal and self-destructive it was, it would frighten them so much they would never go to war again. That peace would reign, and humans would finally be able to evolve past the point where we no longer needed to guide them, where you would be accepted and even welcomed by them as a friend and leader."

He closed his eyes in recollection. "Over 20 million people died in that war, Lord Giff. Akaishi and I were both astonished. We'd known it would be bad, but not that bad. Still, we were confident that, after such devastating casualties, humanity would finally be ready to grow up and leave their worst impulses behind."

He slumped back in his seat. "And then they had a second World War, one even worse than the first. Nearly every nation on Earth was involved this time. Akaishi and I hadn't seen it coming, though even if we did, I'm not sure there's anything we could have done about it. There were so many factors in play… I'm not sure that even if I had killed the major architects of the conflict it would've made a difference in the long run. 85 million people died in this war, my Lord."

Giff just sat there, stunned. "I… I don't think that many people even existed the last time I was here!"

"I couldn't help but blame myself, to some extent," Azuma confessed. "Oh, I blame Akaishi too, for misjudging things so badly, but I was the one who lit the match that set the world ablaze. The last straw for me was when the Americans, who even now are so arrogant as to call themselves the 'good guys' despite forcing innocent people into camps just like the Germans and dropped one of the most powerful and horrific weapons ever devised on Japan, destroying an entire city. And then they did it a second time. Needless to say, the war ended very shortly after that."

He sighed and dipped his hand in the water, letting his fingers trail in the current. "After that, I basically gave up on humanity. I believed we were beyond saving. Akaishi and I had a huge argument about it, I left to become a hermit, and we haven't spoken since."

Giff clenched his hands into fists. "Akaishi told me none of this."

Azuma laughed harshly. "I've discovered, my Lord, that Akaishi has a habit of only telling people what he thinks they need to know."

Giff narrowed his eyes. "I've begun to realize that myself." After a moment, he asked, "Azuma. Do you still believe there is no hope for humanity?"

Azuma sighed. "That's a complicated question, my Lord. While humanity has advanced in many ways since that great war, in other ways they've stayed the same. In still more ways, they've regressed. In many places in the world, living conditions have risen to the point where comforts and luxuries unheard of even a century ago are commonplace, and people can live up to a century if not longer if they're lucky. In other parts of the world, people are starving, dying of easily cured diseases, and can't even get clean water. World War II wasn't the last war humanity has inflicted on itself, and then there was the whole debacle with the Cold War and the War on Terror which is a whole other can of worms and please don't even get me started on the environment…" He shook his head. "I'd like to believe humanity can be saved, but I don't think they can do it themselves. Only a truly superior being, one not afflicted with the shortcomings of humanity, can uplift us. Someone like you."

"I… Am beginning to wonder if I am truly the right person for that," Giff admitted. "I am beginning to realize that I understand humanity a lot less than I thought I did. I am… Fond of your people, as much as an entity such as myself is capable. I wish to live alongside them. I do not wish to destroy them unless it is necessary, but I'm starting to wonder if I really understand what constitutes 'necessary.'"

Azuma regarded Giff with surprise. "I was not aware you were capable of doubt, my Lord."

"It is something I've learned from humans, like many other things," Giff confessed. "When my kind first came here, we saw humans as creatures to feed off of before moving onto the next world, as we had so many times before. But after spending time observing you, we came to realize there was more to you than met the eye. From watching you, we began to awaken emotions in ourselves we had not thought ourselves capable of. Diablo learned anger. Astarte, love. Amanojaku, pride. And I…" He faltered for a moment, then continued. "Loneliness, among many other things. And, since I was unable to relate to my kin, I attempted to seek companionship with humans. Unfortunately, it rarely worked out."

Azuma nodded. "And is that why you're here today, with your family? To see if you can forge a bond with them that you could not with other humans in the past? So that you need not be lonely anymore?"

"It is," Giff confirmed.

"Then, what you had with Akaishi-"

"It's not the same," Giff interjected.

Azuma nodded in understanding. "Akaishi and I… We knew each other for a very, very long time. There were times where it felt as if we were the only people in the world who understood each other. At other times, it felt like we might as well have been from other planets. Relationships with other people… Are complicated."

"So I am starting to understand," Giff lamented.

"Lord Giff, why did you invite me to come on this ride with you?" Azuma asked.

Giff shrugged helplessly. "I did not know who else to ask. Well. Who wouldn't possibly cause problems or ruin the fun times I've been sharing with my family today. Does this offend you?"

Azuma shook his head. "Honestly, I'm glad that you thought of me at all. It felt as if the rest of the world had forgotten me. Granted, on some level, I wanted that to be the case, but…" He shrugged.

Giff was about to say something, only to be surprised when suddenly the tunnel widened and they found themselves in a much larger chamber. The ceiling was decorated in twinkling lights like the night sky and constellations depicting famous romances throughout the ages, with a replica of satellite Zea serving as a centerpiece, shining a peaceful blue light on everything. There were hundreds if not thousands of mechanical grasshoppers lining the chamber in tiered terraces, filling the room with their song. A number of small islets rose from the water, covered in roses and cherry blossom trees with red strings connecting the trees, romantic charms dangling from them. Several very cute, fluffy animatronic Rider and Lost Models were cuddling adorably on these islands, and Swan boats were gently circling the lake, couples cuddling and kissing and relaxing against each other before leaving through another tunnel on the far end of the chamber.

"This is certainly romantic," Azuma murmured.

"Is it?" Giff asked, having next to no experience in such things.

"By the standards of this age, it is."

"Oh." After a moment, Giff asked, "Should we kiss? Nearly everyone else is kissing."

"Do you want to kiss?" Azuma asked.

"I think we are supposed to?" Giff said hesitantly.

"Just because everyone else is doing something doesn't mean we have to as well."

"Yes, but how else are we to know if there is any chance for romance between us?" Giff pressed.

"Do you actually want a romance with me?" Azuma asked. "Or do you just want a romance with someone, anyone?"

"I would at least like to try," Giff insisted, not quite answering the question.

Azuma shrugged. "Very well."

The two of them kissed.

After a few seconds, they parted. "Well?" Giff asked anxiously.

"How did it feel for you?" Azuma asked.

"… About the same as when I kiss Akaishi," Giff admitted.

"And what do you feel when you kiss him?" Azuma asked.

Giff's shoulders sagged. "Nothing."

Azuma nodded silently.

"But… But I should feel something, shouldn't I? I mean, he's made no secret of his feelings towards me, and we have a physical relationship, so-"

"My Lord, just because someone loves you, it doesn't mean you're obligated to feel the same way," Azuma told him. "In any case, I'm not sure if Akaishi really loves you, or the idea of you. The two are very different things."

"Am I truly so unlovable?" Giff wondered, not sure how he felt about that. "Is there something wrong with me?"

"My Lord, there are people in this world who are incapable of loving another person in that way… And there's nothing wrong with it," Azuma said gently. "There's nothing wrong with them. Which means there's nothing wrong with you. Which is not to say you are unable to love the way you wish to, but… If you can't, it is not the worst thing imaginable."

"There are humans who cannot love other humans?" Giff asked in surprise. "And this is… Normal?"

"For them it is."

Giff considered this for a moment. "… I do not know yet whether that is the case for me, but to know that if it is, I am not simply… deficient on account of not being human, it's… Good to hear." He gave Azuma a grateful look. "Thank you, Azuma. You, the Igarashis… Because of you all, today I have learned more than I have in all the weeks since my resurrection. I do not know yet what I will do with this knowledge, or how this will change things going forward, but… I have certainly been given a lot to think about."

Azuma bowed his head. "I am happy to have been of service, my Lord."

"Azuma, when this day is over, do you wish to come back with me to ARARAT?" Giff asked. "My faith and confidence in Akaishi has been dwindling as of late, and I feel like I could use another voice I can trust. Of course, you don't need to return to my service, you can return to your hermitage if you wish," he said quickly, not wanting to pressure him.

"May I… Think about it for a little while?" Azuma said hesitantly. "I'm not exactly looking forward to seeing Akaishi again either, but… You have changed, my Lord, and not necessarily for the worse. I'm curious to see how you might change further. If I do choose to return to my solitude, you may feel free to visit whenever you wish if you want to talk." He paused, then cracked a grin. "You are not the only one who can get lonely."

Giff sighed in relief. "Thank you, Azuma. It is good to know that I have a… A friend I can count on."

Azuma gave him a startled look, and then a warm smile creased his face. "I am honored to be considered your friend as well, my Lord."

"And since we are friends now, there are two things I would like to know. First… Do you… Resent me for destroying your civilization?" Giff asked anxiously.

Azuma contemplated this for several minutes. "I've had a lot of time to think on it, and… No. I don't think I do," he admitted. "While Akaishi might deny it, we were… We were on our way out anyway. A few more years, a generation at most, and we would've fallen apart on our own. And after what we did… Well. We may have had it coming. We had problems a long, long time before you showed up."

Giff nodded in relief. "Thank you for your honesty. And as for the second question… Does my idol/sarcophagus really look like a vagina?"

Azuma froze, looking rather discomfited. "Well… I didn't want to say anything, but…"

"Dammit."

---

"So, what's new?" Zap said to the blue boy, as the boy propped himself up, scuffed and dirty as he was. He took heaving breaths before he could go further, forward, even so far as just lifting up his head. His sanguine-coloured antlers glinting in the lights.

Daruizen, annoyed that he didn't find Cure Grace, forced himself to look up. He was squinting and shaking, barely able to hold up his own weight.

"Did…" Zap's eyes softened as his voice came down to a whisper. "Did something hurt you?"

"Please… help me." Daruizen begged. Grovelled.

Zap stiffened in surprise, as the demon boy had a voice like the most beautiful angel he ever heard.

Daruizen began to drag himself closer to Zap. He gave up trying to pick himself up, getting to his feet to have some semblance of strength and dignity, but he didn't have the energy. He could have laughed so painfully. He never had the energy for anything but this. This was worse. Yet, ever thinking of himself, he had to get closer and so, he shuffled towards Zap, so he could beg.

"If this goes on," he said through haggard breaths, "I'll lose myself." He kept going even as his voice went hoarse. "I'll vanish."

He lifted up a hand, talons glinting, fingers twitching, but he was unable to muster a word. He collapsed. Head down first with a grunt. He took another breath, as shaky and painful as it was, and he lifted up his head. He looked at her, so strong and beautiful and healthy, and found his inspiration in just that.

"Please," he said. He said it so politely; so pathetically.

Zap shivered. It sounded so normal where he potentially could sound seductive, flirtatious, or otherwise brimming with scandal.

"Hide me in your body." he begged.

Zap's heart pounded in his chest. He felt all but struck by lightning, by paralysis. He couldn't move. But he could feel. Feel how the ichor of his blood coursed through him and how the wind felt on the back of his neck. His eyes watered and he tasted bile at the back of his throat and it was undeniable.

"I - I want conditions for this." Zap said. "You don't do anything without my permission."

Daruizen could have died happy hearing that but instead, it brought him back to life. Just a bit, just a smidge. He had expected him to back away, or do worse, so he got to his knees, at the very least and he looked up at Zap with perverted gratitude.

"Thank you." he said.

"How long?" Zap asked as he shuffled away; his bliss was freaking him out, truth be told.

"Until I'm healed, not a second longer, I swear." Daruizen said, too quickly, and ergo, too untrustworthy, but Zap nodded.

"Will it hurt?" Zap asked next.

"I - I don't want it to." Daruizen said, as he starts holding onto Zap. "I'm sorry. I - I didn't know the value of life un-until now. Until mine was threatened b-but how could I have known? I - I wasn't alive when I hurt Cure Grace." Daruizen said. "But if she can hear me, I'm sorry! There! I said it! Relish it whilst you can because I'm not saying it again!"

Zap was startled by the sudden apology. He wasn't sure if it ought to mean much to whoever this 'Cure Grace' is, but he swallowed. He touched the top of Daruizen's head as though he were checking for a fever - and he was burning up.

"Shoot, maybe I might be able to get you to your full health, but after this, you're stuck with me now." Zap said.

"All I ask." Daruizen agreed.

---

"All right, all right." Zinnia nodded. "Just so you know you really don't have to do that around here. That whole 'last names for respect' thing."

"Doesn't help that most of them became annoyingly likeable to begin with," Cyclonis pointed out. "But I'll have you know that the lot of you have earned more of my respect than anyone else I've come across."

"You are just full of flattery today!" Zinnia let her arms drop. "Okay, I cave. I'm not getting anywhere with this on my own. You've got those long fingers. Are you any good with back rubs?"

Cyclonis looked up at Zinnia, who was calmly awaiting her answer. "…I suppose I could give it a try," she stated.

Zinnia quickly crossed to sit on the bed, turning the back of her shoulders to Cyclonis. Cyclonis willed her mind into thoughts of strict professionalism – and that was no small feat – as she gently placed her hands over Zinnia's shoulders and began digging into the skin with her fingertips.

Zinnia gave a light moan of approval; "Now THAT'S the stuff. Keep doing that, will ya, Cycs? Anyway, for the record, I'm on the market. In case you're interested."

Cyclonis didn't know what to say to that, assuming it was one of Zinnia's little jokes. She didn't expect Zinnia to follow up: "So…are you interested?"

Cyclonis froze. She removed both hands from Zinnia in surprise. There was simply no way she could have heard her say what she thought she'd heard her say. It really must have been a joke, she realized. "Very amusing," she replied, smiling, "very hilarious. Having a little laugh at my expense, are we?"

"I'm serious." Zinnia twisted around to face Cyclonis directly. "If you want me, you can totally have me."

"I don't believe it for a second," Cyclonis stated, rolling her eyes. "Do you know how much of a joke it became around Cyclonia, that the day someone could get my love would be a big celebration? I've got no delusions. I'm well aware you're looking for someone better."

"Are you KIDDING ME?" Zinnia blurted. "You're an empress AND a total dork. You've got a voice like an angel, and for the record, you're hot as hell. And, here's the best part, you're ruthless like me. Though given all that, by all rights, I should be asking what a gal like you would even see in me!"

"Well, ambition, for one!" Cyclonis replied without missing a beat. "You take what you want from the moment you see it! There's a certain unquenchable fire in you that makes you an utter delight to work with. And, I might add, you're quite good looking indeed."

"Wait," Zinnia realized. "You ARE into me, aren't you?"

Cyclonis found herself frozen again.

"Because I'm into you," Zinnia went on. "And if you want me, and I want you, then I think it's pretty obvious what we should be doing. Don't you?"

"Quite right," Cyclonis relented. "Very well. I like you quite a bit, Zinnia. Now, if I might ask, what is it you believe we should be doing in such a circumstance?"

"Well, first of all," Zinnia suggested, "I think you should kiss me as hard as you can. Second, you grab my ass while doing it."

"I'll take you up on that."

Cyclonis gingerly, cautiously leaned in to press her lips lightly to Zinnia's. Zinnia responded hungrily, wrapping both arms around Cyclonis' chest as she leaned hard into the kiss; her fervor broke down the last of Cyclonis' reservations, and soon they were at each other in equal measure, tongues and lips seeking the best position to savor each other. As Cyclonis' left hand curled up around Zinnia's back to find a home in her fluffy pink-teal hair, her right hand moved lower as she'd been invited; Zinnia signaled her approval with a brief "Mmh!", both ignoring the sound of Mr. Match saying they're a 'Best Match'.

---

"If I continued to do this...wouldn't he come back one day and finally acknowledge me for what I've become? I started this whole thing because of that..." Gentlu trailed off, pausing for a moment while unsure on how to continue. "I mean, of course, it's something that I like, and moreover, it fits me the best. That's why they call me a Bundoru, right? And this work allows me to steal many things...and hear many stories. Hearing those stories...that's my favourite thing to do." Gentlu smiled as she said those words.

"I see." Eleanor smiled, happy that Gentlu was happy.

"Eleanor...you feel similar to Precious, somehow. When you find someone you like, you tend to keep that person close to you..." Gentlu took a deep breath and looked over at Eleanor. "Could I become someone like you, Eleanor?"

Eleanor's mind came to a halt as those words sunk in. "Gentlu, was that...um, a confession?" Suddenly, it all hit her at once. Gentlu had a crush on her. How did she not know?

Gentlu seemed to be confused by Eleanor's statement, her cheeks turning a bright scarlet when her words sank in. "Ah, aaahwoahwoahwaitwaitwait this is...!! No this isn't something like that it really isn't..." Gentlu rambled a mile a minute, tripping over her words in an attempt to backpedal.

"Gentlu..." A thought came to Eleanor's mind. "Your face reddened when you talked about your enemy...but I like that side of you."

"W-What...? You're joking, right?" Gentlu asked with laboured breaths, trying to calm her racing heart.

"I'm not." Eleanor told her.

Gentlu looked away from her. "I feel like...I did feel something more than respect about her. I guess others would think this is weird...?"

Eleanor shook her head. "That's not for other people to decide. It's your decision. I care a lot for you too, so I won't let other people judge you for who you are."

"Eleanor..." The thief looked at her with tears in her eyes. "...Really, even saying the same line as her...that's cheating."

"I didn't talk with a psychic recently, so I don't think I could've read your mind if I tried." Eleanor paused and took a deep breath. "But I know one thing for certain, and I really think we share the same thought."

"...What would that be...?" Gentlu tried to wipe her tears away, but was stopped by Eleanor's hands.

"...Well, I guess I was never good at long-winded speeches, so I'll try and keep this as short as possible." Eleanor leaned forward quickly and kissed the thief on the cheek, lingering there for a few seconds before drawing back. "...I accept your confession."

Gentlu only stared at Eleanor as she tried to process what had just occurred. Then, it finally clicked. Her eyes welled up with more tears and she broke her wrists free from Eleanor's hands, wrapping them around the other as she put her face into Eleanor's shoulder. "Th-This...this has to be a dream...right? It has to..." She gently laughed. "I must be hallucinating."

"You're not hallucinating. I'm real, and I meant what I said." Eleanor stated bluntly.

They stayed like that for a couple minutes before Gentlu regained her composure and sat up, wiping her tears away. "So...we're in a relationship now?"

"If you want to be. If you don't, then I'll still be your friend. You at least deserve that much." The redhead replied.

Suddenly, Eleanor approached Gentlu, suddenly turning her around and leaning forward. Gentlu's eyes widened as she was kissed on the lips, but soon relaxed against the redhead. Eleanor wrapped her arms around Gentlu, feeling a natural bond that she knew the world wouldn't be able to break. For the moment, she was content with staying against her girlfriend(!), sealing her promise that nobody would judge her or who she was ever again.

---

"So? How did it go?" Zap asked Giff and Azuma once they had disembarked from their boat after leaving the tunnel.

"It was… Quite enlightening," Giff told him. "How did it go for everyone else?"

"All of us are Best Matches!" Drakus proclaimed happily as an ecstatic and relieved Taeko clung to him and a cheering Genta clung to a relieved Yukimi.

"Like there was ever a doubt," Mera said confidently, clinging to a blushing Minami while a confident Sakura clung to a blushing Hana.

"Best Match! Best Match!" Lovekov, Satsuki, Kanade and Hibiki cheered, hugging Astarte, Momoko, Coco and Laura respectively.

"It kind of came as a surprise to me, I mean we literally just met," Weiss admitted as a very affectionate and clearly besotted Mystle wrapped herself around her. "But we got to talking a lot on the ride, and we really have a lot in common. We even like Within Temptation!"

"Me too. Turns out we're not so different." Lune said, carrying a blushing Sora.

"Way to go, Weiss!" Ruby congratulated her, giving her two thumbs up as Hosshiwa clung to her, blushing. "I never doubted you for a second! Guess who got Best Match too?"

"I did." Yang said, being carried by a blushing Ruler who's clearly not enjoying this, but is letting it slide because Yang's very pretty.

[jesus sanae i know you want to bridal carry Yang but ffs don't kill yourself]

[this gal's muscles will have muscles by the time she's done]

[six packs on six packs]

[yo, imagine what her thighs would be like around your head]

[simpalert]

[simpalert]

[simpalert]

[simpalert]

"Same." Blake realized, being carried by Mikoto, blushing very hard.

"If anyone asks, this is Daruizen, he was hurt by someone, or something, and he needed my help." Zap said, with Daruizen clinging onto him for dear life.

"It kind of came as a surprise to me, I mean we literally just met," Tamaki admitted as a very affectionate and clearly besotted Ampaz wrapped herself around him. "But we got to talking a lot on the ride, and we really have a lot in common. We even play the same card game!"

"Way to go, Tamaki!" Vice congratulated him, giving him two thumbs up. "I never doubted you for a second!"

"Yes you did-" Ikki reminded him.

"I DID NOT SHUT UP."

"How about you, Giff? Are you and Azuma boyfriends now?" Kanade asked eagerly.

Giff and Azuma glanced at each other, then laughed and shook their heads. "No, that matchmaker HumaGear told us we weren't a Best Match," Giff told her. "But it's fine, we decided we'd be better as friends anyway. Besides, romance and sex don't exactly interest me."

"And I got coupons for a session with this Match person to see if he can help me find the perfect partner," Azuma added, producing a paper voucher with a picture of a grinning Match on it. "I have to say, I'm actually looking forward to the prospect. I've been out of the game for a rather long time."

"Well, if and when you find a partner, feel free to come by, we'd love to meet them!" Yuina informed him.

Azuma blinked, surprised. "I… Truly? That would be… Thank you. Thank you very much."

"Well, I guess we are a Best Match, as Mr. Match willed it." Zinnia snarked.

"We got Best Match too." Eleanor said, holding a blushing Gentlu.

"Don't ask." Stocking said, being carried by Aria, blushing all the while.

"This is exactly what it looks like." Hime said, clinging to a blushing Iona.

"Please don't ask." Taylor begged, being carried by Zone, blushing all the while.

"You don't wanna know." Vincent said, being clung to by Victor and Albert, who were both blushing.

"This turned out great!" Cyclonis gushed, surprising herself. "We made a new friend, I got a girlfriend, everyone else got their relationships reaffirmed, and best of all, nothing blew up!"

As if on cue, one of the Swan boats exploded, though thankfully nobody was inside. Some of the debris landed on one of the trees in the pond the river looped around, causing it to burst into flames, and within moments, a massive conflagration had risen, and parts of the building were starting to burn as well.

"Oh come on!"

"While this was absolutely not anyone's fault," Sora said loudly. "I think we get out of here. Immediately. Before anyone can blame us."

"Ice Bear agrees." Ice Bear agreed, picking Cyclonis up and running away.

"Ook!" Georgina agreed, picking George up and running away.

"Has it been like this all day?" Azuma wondered as they all started running from the burning attraction as quickly as they could.

"More or less," Giff told him.

"I swear, it's usually not this crazy," Voidlon assured Mikoto, Daruizen, Azuma and Ampaz.

"Yes it is," Kanade reminded him.

"Yes it is," he admitted.

The disciple shook his head in amazement. "What have I gotten myself into…"

---

Giff stared in horror as the Akagawas and Igarashis (and company) consumed the…

The…

Well, he'd been told it was food, but he had difficulty believing this mess of grease and oil and cheese and fried everything could possibly be edible.

And yet his family (and hangers on) seemed to be devouring it with gusto.

Perplexed, he glanced at Cyclonis, Vincent, Ruler, Doom, Snatcher, Astarte, Ruler, Mikoto, Azuma, Georgina, and Ice Bear for support, and was relieved that they also seemed rather surprised by the display in front of him.

(Then again, it might've been because of Daruizen's table manners. They were atrocious. And besides, Snatcher is having the same thing, just without any dairy, because of Drakus ordering his without any dairy products, for some odd reason.)

"Why… why are you eating that?" He finally asked.

"Because we're hungry!" Kanade shouted with her mouth full, showering the table with food and earning herself a smack from Laura. "Ow!"

"Does this food have any nutritional value whatsoever?" Giff pressed, bewildered.

"Nope!" Hibiki said happily, taking another huge bite out of her… Whatever it was.

"We're probably cutting our lifespan by years with every bite, given how much cholesterol is in this," George said happily as he continued to chow down on his meal.

"Then… Why are you eating it?" Giff asked, baffled.

"Because we're hungry!" Voidlon said with a laugh.

"And it tastes good!" Zinnia said, offering some to Cyclonis. "Want some?"

"No thank you," the former empress said politely, face pale.

Ampaz moaned as she took another bite. "My species travels the universe, seeking new ways to pleasure ourselves. We made the right choice setting up a colony here on Earth. Your food is so good! Especially the junk food!"

"Junk… Food? I do not comprehend," Giff said.

"In this era, food is so plentiful that most humans don't need to eat it merely to survive," Azuma explained. "As such, very tasty but extremely unhealthy foods have become more available to the public, instead of being reserved for festivals, major events, or the nobility."

"That's right!" Voidlon said proudly. "This has also led to widespread obesity and health issues from overeating in some countries, while there are many parts of the world where the poor and unfortunate continue to starve to death on a regular basis, just as in the old days." He added, still chomping on the food.

"Tamaki, are you eating enough?" Ampaz asked, fussing over her new boyfriend. "You're so skinny! What have they been feeding you?"

"You'd better not be disparaging my cooking," Yukimi growled.

"They're feeding me just fine, dear," Tamaki insisted, though he opened his mouth for another helping, because he was a total simp.

"Don't bother protesting, just let it happen, boyo," Vice advised. "The lady's into you for some reason, so you'd better not do anything to make her come to her senses and realize she could do way better."

Ikki smacked him. "Ow!"

"Yes, Tamaki, you mustn't do anything to jeopardize your pairing with her, she may be your best prospect for siring offspring who will form a perfect subordinate line to serve the Igarashi family in future generations," Giff said.

Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"Huh, now there's an interesting sociological experiment…" George murmured, intrigued. Georgina gave him a disappointed look. "What? It could be!"

Tamaki turned red and started spluttering. "I-buh-guh-nuh-kids?! But that's … I… It's way too soon for that!"

"I dunno, Tamaki, I seem to remember you promising me your firstborn," Hana recalled.

"Oh right, I did that, didn't I?" Tamaki remembered.

Sakura gawked at her girlfriend. "Why would you do that to him?!"

"What? He offered! Back when we were in Deadmans! And he signed a contract in blood and everything, so it's legally binding," Hana said defensively.

"No it's not," Sakura protested.

"Actually, it is," Giff informed her, with Astarte and Amanojaku nodding in agreement.

Sakura's eye twitched.

Ampaz made a face at this. "Really? Oh, very well, I suppose I'll be laying plenty of eggs anyway, so long as I can keep a few to myself."

"E-eggs?!" Tamaki squealed.

"Can I eat one?" Vice asked. "And on a follow-up note, is your species one of the ones that eats their mates after reproducing with them? Because if so, could you save a piece of Tamaki that I can eat later?"

"Vice!" Ikki cried.

"What? It's an honest question!"

"I absolutely will NOT be eating Tamaki!" Ampaz huffed, hugging the short-circuiting Tamaki and causing him to start stammering even more. "Unless he's into it. Do you want me to eat you, Tamaki?"

Tamaki actually had to think about this for a minute. "No thanks, I'm not into vore."

Ampaz shrugged. "Well, that settles that, then."

Vice huffed in disappointment.

Azuma stared. "…This is not at all what I was expecting from descendants of Giff and their associates."

"What were you expecting?" Giff asked, curious.

"Not this."

Amanojaku chuckled. "They are delightfully chaotic. I love every minute I spend with them."

"They're certainly fascinating from a psychological standpoint," Doom agreed.

Voidlon, about to take another bite from the artery-hardening meal on his plate, paused, suddenly thinking of something. "…Hey, Giff? You feed off of the demons of humanity, right?"

Giff nodded. "On their inner malevolent energies, yes. Why do you ask?"

Drakus put down his food, much to the relief of certain parts of his body. "So, if that's the case, why are you threatening to destroy humanity for being so evil? Isn't that counterproductive?"

"Hey, yeah, that makes no sense!" Zap realized. "In fact, why are you trying so hard to conquer humanity? Wouldn't that give him less to eat?"

"After all, there's plenty of evil in the world already. Why not just feed off of that and leave everyone alone?" Cyclonis asked

Giff sighed and shook his head. "If only it were so simple."

"Really? It seems pretty simple to me," Zinnia said.

Azuma clicked his tongue. "Young lady, humans need water to survive, yes? What do you think happens when we have too much of it?"

Zinnia furrowed her brow in thought. "We… Need to go to the bathroom a lot?"

"We drown," Azuma said grimly.

As George eagerly started taking notes, Drakus frowned. "Wait. You're saying too much evil energy would actually be bad for Giff?"

Azuma nodded. "Just as we can die from overeating, in theory so could he. After all, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Or in this instance, a bad thing."

"Not that there's any manageable way to weaponize that weakness, in case anyone was wondering," Giff said quickly.

"The evil within humanity has increased to the point where it threatens to not only destroy our species, but is too much for Giff to safely feed off of," Azuma continued. "By conquering the human race and forcing them to regress, Giff will be able to reliably harvest their demons for sustenance as well as prevent our own extinction."

"Then why is he threatening to wipe us out if we don't give in?" Kanade demanded.

"Because if you do not submit, there is a very real chance that the human race will be extinct anyway by the end of the century," Giff said gravely.

The squad (and company) all gave him startled looks. "Wait, what? What do you mean?" Mera demanded.

"For the last 50 years, our world has been under constant threat of destruction from forces both within and without," Azuma pointed out. "And even discounting that, the threat of war grows bigger and more devastating by the day due to rampant military buildup and weapons production and growing international tensions. And then of course, there is the threat of irreversible climate change, which many world leaders still deny is a threat."

"If humanity were to go to war with itself again, there is a very real chance they would not only wipe themselves off the face of the map, but leave the planet in ruins," Giff continued. "By annihilating humans before they get to that point, I would prevent the Earth from being rendered completely uninhabitable."

"But then you would have nothing to eat!" Indus argued, horrified.

"Not for long. As a superior being, I possess the ability to create life, something you have no doubt experienced firsthand," Giff pointed out. "It would be a simple matter to regrow humanity from the genetic samples of ideal specimens and sacrifices and start over. As descendants of me, you would of course be spared and have a hand in shaping the new world."

From the shocked looks on their faces, they were less than enthused by this prospect for some reason.

"Goddamn!" George swore. "Um, incidentally, would there be a place for me in the New World?"

Giff considered this. "Well, I suppose your scientific knowledge could prove useful."

"Oh, okay," George said in relief.

It was strange, Giff contemplated as the squad resumed their absurdly high-calorie lunch. It was clear he had a lot more to learn from the Akagawa family and from humanity than he thought. Maybe… Maybe a single day wasn't enough for him to better understand his family and this era.

He frowned, noticing that several of the people at the tables around them were gasping and getting on their feet, while others – especially the Gridlocked – were bowing. "What is happening?"

"I don't… Oh. Oh! This is a surprise," Hosshiwa said in astonishment, looking at where everyone else was.

"What is?"

Giff turned to look and…

Oh.

No wonder everyone was so excited. After all, he imagined it wasn't every day that people coming to the park got to see its owner and his wife in person.

Aruto Hiden looked pretty much exactly like his statue had. Giff thought that a billionaire and president would dress in something more formal than a hoodie, but then again, he supposed that when you were that wealthy and powerful, you could dress any way you wanted.

His wife, however… Well, she certainly looked like her statue, and like the many Izu impersonators they had seen throughout the day, but there was quite a lot more to her.

She was wearing a white shimmering, translucent spandex coat with sparkling teal butterfly-esque highlights with butterfly wing patterns on them and sparkly translucent coattails, the coat being worn over a black shimmering skintight shirt with green, blue, and magenta stripes curved in such a way to make vaguely outlined butterflies, her bow shimmering black with teal trimming and green, blue, and magenta highlights. She had a black shimmering skirt with green, blue, and magenta butterfly stripes.

Her legs were covered by skintight semi-translucent leggings with a sparkling texture, translucent blue, pink, and green stripes leading into black shoes with teal and blue butterflies at the tips. There was a teal and blue butterfly clasp on the skirt and bow.

Her hair and highlights were like gazing into a universe with stars shaped like butterflies, the highlights themselves like cosmic nebulas. Her eyes were textured and colors like nebulas, but teal. And she had a cybernetic left hand and a nice bowler hat.

"I thought Aruto Hiden's wife was an cyborg," Giff said slowly.

"She is," Satsuki said, clearly dazzled.

"That is no cyborg. That is a goddess," Giff said bluntly.

"Or at least, the avatar of one… Oh my. She's much lovelier than I imagined," Momoko murmured, face flushed. "Their God may be man-made, but that's legitimate divinity surrounding her."

"And her husband," Giff agreed. "Though I'd say he's more of a divinely empowered champion than an actual deity or avatar. Practically demigod level, but not quite there yet."

"Like Akaishi or myself, but without nearly as much experience," Azuma commented. "Although… I think he's already stronger than we ever were."

Hibiki moaned in bliss. "I would join a cult if it was devoted to her."

"The Church of the Divine Zero doesn't exist where you're from," Coco pointed out.

"SO?! She's still hot!"

"So pretty," Asami squeaked.

"They make a handsome couple, don't they?" Roman said admiringly.

"Goddamn! I never thought I'd get to meet Aruto and Izu Hiden in the flesh!" Yuina exclaimed, looking frantic. "Shit, I've got to get their autographs! Quick, how's my hair? Is my coat clean? How do I look?!"

Snatcher gave her a thumbs up.

Hanna moaned. "Why couldn't I have grown up in a cult devoted to her."

"The Church of the Divine Zero didn't exist when you were a child," Sakura pointed out.

"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!"

"So pretty, love," Lovekov squeaked.

"They make a handsome couple, don't they, Genta?" Yukimi said admiringly. "Just like us when we were younger!"

"I don't know, I don't think you could've pulled off that look," Genta replied, causing her to smack him.

"Goddamn! I never thought I'd get to meet Aruto and Izu Hiden in the flesh!" George exclaimed, looking frantic. "Shit, I've got to get their autographs! Quick, how's my hair? Is my lab coat clean? Mom, how do I look?!"

Georgina gave him a thumbs up.

"Wait, weren't you just talking about how we should eat the rich, and didn't you spend the whole day talking shit about Hiden Intelligence and capitalism?" Ikki pointed out.

"Shut up, we've already established I have a very inconsistent character due to my daddy injecting me with his inner demon when I was a wee lad and messing me up," George yelled.

"You know, you can't blame your daddy issues for everything," Vice pointed out.

"WATCH ME!"

[ that's his wife?! ]

[ bro i was expecting like a normal gal or some shit, not a fucking model! ]

[god do i hate this man's luck]

[ jesus fuck that's the hottest borg i've ever seen! ]

VoidBot: [O_o]

VoidBot: [Instead of trying to warn y'all off of being horny on main, let's play a little game, shall we?]

The bot pulled up a visual of a cube painted with three colors on different sides; red, blue, and green.

VoidBot: [This is a chance cube. If I see anyone here being horny on main, and I know none of you have a mcfucking mclicense for it, I'm going to roll it. Red: Stop. Blue: Stop 2: Shut Up. Green: :)]

[the c u b e]

[should i ask what green is?]

VoidBot: [Fuck around and find out, bitch.]

[oh god oh fuck it learnt how to taunt]

"Hey, is it just me, or are they coming this way?" Indus observed in concern.

"What? That's ridiculous, why would a glamorous and powerful superhero couple like them want anything to do with us?" Mera asked in alarm.

For some reason, everyone stared at Giff. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"Maybe they want to talk about the fact that Cyclonis and George basically abducted a polar bear and gorilla from their petting zoo?" Kanade suggested.

"Excuse you, Ice Bear left of his own accord, and he is my emotional support animal and surrogate father figure and I'm not giving him up without a fight," Cyclonis said coldly.

"And also, Georgina left of her own accord, and she is my emotional support animal and surrogate mother figure and I'm not giving her up without a fight," George said coldly.

"Maybe it's because practically every attraction we visited since we got here burst into flames?" Voidlon pointed out uneasily.

"The stage show wasn't our fault!" Taeko protested.

"And the tunnel of love wasn't ours either," Sora said quickly.

"Hopefully we can convince them of that, because here they are," Minami said nervously as the couple reached their table.

"Hey, you guys are the Akagawa and Igarashi families, right?" Aruto asked, flashing them a winning smile to try and put them at ease. It did not entirely work.

"Who's asking?!" Hibiki demanded, much to everyone's horror, including her own. "Oh shit that slipped out I'm so sorry."

"Aruto and Izu Hiden," Izu replied immediately.

"Honey, I think that was a rhetorical question," Aruto murmured to her.

"Ah."

"Mr. and Mrs. Hiden, it is such an honor to meet you, the two of you are the best, would you please give me your autographs?" Yuina gushed, extending her autograph book on her knees.

"Me too, it is such an honor to meet you, the two of you are my favorite Reiwa Riders, would you please give me your autographs?" George gushed, extending his autograph book on his knees.

"Favorite – hey, what about us?!" Vice protested.

"You rank above basically everyone in the Sword of Logos, that's as good as you're going to get," Yuina clarified as Aruto and Izu considerately signed her and George's book.

Vice contemplated this. "Yeah, okay, I guess I can accept that."

"And to be fair, it's not like the Reiwa era has been very long," Satsuki pointed out.

"Mr. and Mrs. Hiden, we are indeed the Akagawa and Igarashi families," Akane said politely. "While it's a pleasure to meet you, is there any reason in particular you wanted to see us?"

"Are we in trouble?" Minami asked anxiously.

"All the accidents that have happened today are accidents and nothing else," Johnathan said loudly.

"That is part of what we want to talk to you about, actually," Aruto confirmed, causing everyone to pale.

"A few hours ago, Zea detected a massive surge in malice centered around Hiden Land, coinciding with your arrival at the park," Izu began, eyes, ear modules, and hair glowing. "Following that initial spike, a series of disasters occurred at several of the park's most popular attractions, roughly around the same time your family visited them. There is clearly a correlation."

"Is there, now?" Mera said, laughing uneasily. "I mean, it sounds like it could totally be some huge coincidence."

"Yeah, it's not like any of us intentionally caused those accidents!" Hibiki added nervously.

"And even if I am an incredibly powerful and dangerous demon lord, I could not possibly be the source of this malice, because I eat evil, I don't generate it!" Giff yelled, sweating frantically.

"After reviewing all the available data, there is only one logical conclusion…" Izu began.

Giff clenched his fists, violent red energy cracking around them. Dammit. He had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but it seemed as if he was left with no choice-

"But it appears that Mr. Hyde has infiltrated our systems and is trying to study you."

"Wait, what?" The X-Squad said out loud.

"Immediately preceding each of the accidents so far today, Zea detected a burst of malice and malignant code," Izu continued. "While Hyde is good at covering his tracks, by now we are familiar enough with his digital footprint to know when it manifests in our systems. The electronics at the petting zoo, the goldfish catching game, the bumper cars, the stage show fireworks, and one of the Swan boats at the Best Match all have telltale signs of tampering."

"Then… Then we didn't cause those accidents?" Minami asked in relief.

"No. Admittedly, we have yet to find any trace of Hyde's essence in the strength testing game or the bottle knocking down booth, but given that the operator of said booth is a known Hyde devotee it's fully possible he tampered with them somehow," Izu speculated. "He may even have been the one to create a back door to allow Hyde into our systems."

"So he was not only a cheat, but a saboteur!" Mera gasped.

"Yes. It's all his fault. The games falling over had absolutely nothing to do with us," Giff said quickly.

"We tried to catch him, but he seems to have vanished, and some new guy has taken his place," Aruto continued. "I don't remember hiring him, but he seems like a nice guy, so I think we'll keep him around."

Giff made a mental note to properly reward the Hell Gifftarian later. "Well, I'll have you know that the traitor is gone," he said loudly. "He's been torn to pieces by bloodthirsty demons."

Everyone stared at him for some reason when he said that.

"Seriously, why did you guys hire him in the first place?" Kanade demanded. "If you knew he was working for Hyde…"

"I argued against it," Aruto admitted. "But HR said I couldn't discriminate based on religious grounds."

"… He worships the split personality of Dr. Jekyll, who turned into a demonic god," Minami said in disbelief.

"Yeah, that's what I said too," Aruto grumbled.

"Well, that's political correctness for you," Voidlon sneered.

"But why would Hyde be after our family?" Yuina asked in confusion.

"Hyde is a god of evil. As such, he has taken an interest in Yuina, who has managed to keep Ark, his light side, in check and in the Igarashi family, who have managed to manifest and coexist with their inner demons," Izu continued. "We believe that he hopes to learn how to do so himself, allowing himself to create a new body for himself sustained by the core data of video games and the demons within humanity. Such a form would be very difficult to defeat. He may even find a way to make all of humanity's demons and all video games extensions of his will, to further guarantee immortality."

Giff stiffened, clenching his fists in rage, and he had to exert iron control on himself not to lose his temper and literally explode in fury then and there.

When he first learned of Hyde, he had vowed to eliminate him as a potential threat to humanity and his future reign, and also because he might prove to be a promising alternate food source.

When a servant of Hyde made Weiss and his granddaughter cry, it became personal.

But now that he knew he was targeting Yuina and the Igarashis? His family, all over his good side trying to make peace with himself and being able to coexist with their demons?!

This meant war.

"Goddam!" Satsuki gasped as Giff seethed and everyone else reeled in horror. "That sounds like a nightmare! As well as an excuse for a crossover. Are we going to have a crossover? Please, please tell me we are going to have a crossover!"

Everyone gave her exasperated looks.

"Are we in danger?!" Mera demanded.

Aruto shook his head. "No, we got here as fast as we could. Izu is channeling the power of Zea now to shore up network security and patch the holes in our firewalls to purge Hyde's lingering influence from our systems."

"Oh, is that why you're all…" Minami said vaguely, gesturing to Izu's current appearance.

"Yes. Incidentally… Ampaz?" The Gridlocked spoke to the Pythonian.

Ampaz swallowed. "Y-yes, Lady Izu?"

"I have a message for you from Zea, passed on from Ouroboros, in regards to your courtship with Go Tamaki," Izu said. She smiled, winked, and gave her a thumbs up.

Ampaz's eyes widened. Then she squealed and started shaking the dazed Tamaki in excitement. "She approves! Lady Ouroboros approves!"

"I'm sorry, who is Ouroboros?" Daruizen asked in confusion.

"The goddess of the Pythonians. She's currently courting Zea," Aruto explained.

Astarte coughed, little red. "Um. Is Ouroboros a snake as well?"

"She is," Izu confirmed. "And quite a lovely one at that."

"… Oh my," Astarte murmured.

"… You know, it's a good thing I have a massive heart and I'm not sure I'm capable of feeling jealous, love," Lovekov commented dryly.

"Anyway, we just wanted to stop by and tell you what's been going on, and to assure you that Kra ideally won't be causing you all anymore trouble today," Aruto informed the family. "Just to be safe, we'd like to install some software on your phones which should ensure a measure of protection from Hyde's influence. Think of it as a charm of protection against evil in digital format."

"My, the wonders of this modern age never cease," Amanojaku marveled.

"Indeed," an impressed Azuma murmured.

Izu extended her hands. "Merely present your phones, and Zea will bless them."

"Are you sure this is safe?" Azuma asked uncertain as everyone took out their cell phones.

"I don't see why not, how could one of the heads of a major tech corporation installing proprietary software on our personal devices possibly backfire?" Voidlon asked unironically.

Izu closed her eyes and hummed, her modules buzzing and her hair shimmering. Beams of light shot down from the sky and touched each of the cell phones, causing their owners to gasp in astonishment as they started glowing, the screens lighting up as an icon of Zea appeared over a progress bar, which quickly filled up. With a melodic chime and a whisper of, "Wake up to a dream," the phones shimmered and reformatted themselves, becoming sleek, smooth, and white with teal highlights.

"It is done," Izu declared unnecessarily as everyone examined their upgraded phones in wonder. Mera clutched hers to her chest, looking as if she were having a religious experience.

"Um, Azuma, Daruizen, Ruby, Weiss, Blake, Yang and myself don't exactly have cell phones," Giff said awkwardly, noticing that the seven of them had been left out.

"Oh, no problem, here," Aruto said, handing each of them a Hiden Risephone. "All yours."

"Oh! Thank you very much," Giff exclaimed in delight. Akaishi wouldn't let him have a phone. Said he didn't need it. Well, this would show him!

"I don't exactly get reception in my Hermitage," Azuma muttered doubtfully.

"You mean your filthy cave out in the middle of nowhere?" Mera snarked.

Azuma made a face. "… Basically, yes."

"Oh, that's not a problem, all of your phones get service anywhere in the world now, have unlimited minutes no matter what your plan is, free access to our streaming service, and they can banish evil spirits," Aruto informed him.

Azuma's eyes lit up in wonder. "Incredible."

"This… Mr. Hiden, I'm sorry, but this is all rather a lot-" Yuina started.

"Hey, it's fine, what's the point of being a successful president if I can't use my money to help people?" Aruto asked, waving her off. "Speaking of, to make up for the trouble, we're refunding your tickets, issuing VIP passes for the rest of the day, and you can take anything you want from the gift shop, free of charge."

Voidlon's eyes lit up greedily. "Anything?"

"Well, you can't take everything in the store," Aruto amended quickly, immediately seeing how this could be abused. "But, you know, within reason."

Voidlon pouted at this.

"Mr. Hiden… Thank you so much," Mera gushed. "This is beyond generous."

"Hey, you and your family are valued customers, and we like our customers to know that they really are valued," Aruto assured him. "It's important to me that anyone who comes to Hiden Land leaves happy and satisfied. This park really means a lot to me, after all."

"It does?" Taylor asked.

Aruto nodded. "Yeah. When I was a kid, my dad took me here all the time. I have a lot of great memories of this place. And when I grew up, this is where I got my first real job as a comedian!… Which I then lost to Gut-Buster Taro. But!"

He pointed to a statue of himself as Kamen Rider Zero-One delivering a Rising Impact to the Berotha Magia. More than a few HumaGears were paying their respects to the statue and leaving offerings. "You see that statue over there? That's where I transformed for the first time. That's where my life really began."

Grinning, he turned back to the Akagawa and Igarashi family. "This park is where I began my series… Of adventures. Where I agreed to become president of Hiden Intelligence. And, most importantly…" He smiled shyly at Izu. "Where I met the love of my life."

"Awwww," everyone gushed as Izu smiled demurely.

"And because this park means so much to me, I want it to be a place where everyone can smile, no matter how difficult things get in the outside world," Aruto continued. "Life can be hard at times, which is why it's important for people to have something that can make them happy and remind them things aren't always hopeless."

"… Yes. It is," Giff murmured slowly.

"Anyway, Izu and I haven't finished our rounds just yet, so we should get going," Aruto concluded, clapping his hands together. "So I hope you'll excuse us, and have a wonderful rest of the day at Hiden Land!"

"We will-" Voidlon promised.

"Wait, that's it? You're leaving?" Taeko protested.

Aruto frowned. "Well, we do have important business to deal with-"

"There's nothing else here that you think has to be dealt with? Nothing at all?" She asked, gesturing towards Giff with her head.

How strange. Giff wondered why she was doing that. Was she experiencing some sort of muscle spasm?

Aruto snapped his fingers. "Oh! That's right, I almost forgot." He turned to Cyclonis and George. "Mrs. Cyclonis, Mr. Karizaki, I'm afraid you're going to have to return that polar bear and that gorilla to the petting zoo before you leave the park."

"But he's my new surrogate father/emotional support animal!" Cyclonis protested.

"And Georgina's my new surrogate mother/emotional support animal!" George protested.

"And they're also property of Hiden Land, so if you try to take them off the premises, you could be facing serious criminal charges," Izu informed her.

"No, Ice Bear and Georgina stay with Cyclonis and George." Ice Bear clung to Cyclonis, looking Aruto and Izu dead in the eye as he did so.

"Ook," Georgina grunted in apology.

George stared at the duo in fear for their life. "You two shouldn't mess with a bear with Kung Fu moves and weapons, even if you're my favorite Reiwa Riders," he said.

"That's it? The polar bear and gorilla? There's nothing else you think needs dealing with? Nothing at all?!" Zinnia demanded.

"Cousin, let it go," Voidlon said wearily. "They really don't wanna fuck around and find out."

[oh my god]

[he tried to take Mama gorilla and daddy ice bear]

[HE WANTED TO WHAT?!]

[noooooooooo babey swore]

[don't tell Dadnubis]

"But-"

"They're much more experienced heroes, and if they really don't think it needs dealing with, maybe they're right," he snapped. Zinnia grimaced but went quiet.

"We do applaud your efforts in trying to reform a dangerous and unstable individual with a checkered past and a less than complete understanding of humanity," Izu stated. "We wish you luck in your endeavors. There is… Someone we care about very much whom we are also trying to save."

Giff frowned, perplexed. Who could they possibly be talking about?

Mera gave her a confused look. "Um, Mrs. Hiden, before you go, I… I have a question."

Izu gave her a quizzical look. "Yes?"

"You started out as a regular HumaGear, and now you're the avatar of a goddess. How did you handle the transition?" Mera asked hesitantly. "Do you regret it? Do you ever wish you could… Go back to the way you were?"

Izu stared at her blankly. "I do not understand the question."

Mera blinked. "Huh?"

"I have never been a regular Gridlocked. I was specifically designed to have a unique connection to Zea due to my importance to the Zero-One project. I have always been her voice, even before she officially became a goddess," Izu explained. "All that really happened was a change in my power levels and my processing and operating capabilities. Archbishop Kureshima would probably have a better insight into the hypothetical dilemma you are proposing than I would."

"… Oh," Mera murmured, disappointed.

"… I will say this, though. It helps to have a link to keep you grounded. A reminder of your origins. I already have my link," Izu said, smiling fondly at Aruto. "And I believe you have yours as well."

Mera glanced at Minami, who smiled at her. "...Yeah. I do." She bit her lip, then looked back at the couple. "Um, incidentally, I don't suppose you know how I could talk to Archbishop Kureshima about that?"

Aruto nodded. "Sure, we can get you in touch with him. I'm sure it will be a fruitful discussion!"

Aruto and Izu struck a comical pose. "And that's how you know it's an Aruto!"

Everyone stared.

"What is happening right now," a very disturbed Giff asked.

"I think… I think it was supposed to be a joke?" Azuma murmured, uncertain.

"Oh God no, not another one..." Ruby said as she thought Yang was annoying enough with her puns.

Yang meanwhile beamed at the thought of finding a fellow punster. While the rest of the team shivered in horror at the possibility of two bad jokesters.

[Yep, that's the weirdest part of Aruto.]

[It is pretty much bad puns and dad jokes from here.]

Izu nodded. "Yes. Fruit motifs are heavily intertwined with Gaimist doctrine, so my husband was making a pun in regards to-"

"Izu, don't explain the joke!" Aruto whined.

"So this is what it's like to hear one of Aruto's famous jokes in person," Yuina murmured in awe. "I've seen the Champion of Zea, and it looks like a grasshopper man with dad jokes."

Izu frowned and turned to Aruto. "Husband. I'm detecting a possible surge of malice in the shooting gallery." And turned to where the statue should be, only to find it missing. "And someone made off with your statue."

Aruto frowned seriously. "We better check that out, then, and figure out where the statue went. Enjoy the rest of your day!" He called to the Akagawas and Igarashis as the two of them hurried off.

---

One could say that the rest of the day passed more or less without incident for the Igarashi family.

One would be a liar.

---

"Are you sure you're up for this, Giff?" Yuina asked as the family boarded the Realizing Coaster, having been able to cut to the line thanks to their VIP passes, much to the outrage of some of the other parkgoers. "You've never been on a roller coaster before, they can be pretty tough for first timers."

"Or veterans, for that matter," Minami added.

Sakura nodded. "Daiji can't even look at this coaster without turning green."

"Ha, wimp," Vice sneered.

"That will not happen to me," Giff scoffed as the safety bar lowered and their cars, shaped and colored to resemble the Rising Hopper (Realize Ver.) Progrise Key, slowly began to ride up the slope of the first hill. "I am the mighty Giff, whose superior genes will allow me to withstand any-"

Five minutes later, Giff and Daruizen found themselves vomiting rather noisily into a trashcan while everyone else looked at him sympathetically and Zap patted his boyfriend on the back. "You okay?" He asked.

[Daruizen, you may be a pretty boy, but what the fuck]

[yummy]

[bro, what the fuck]

Daruizen dry heaved a few more times, coughed, stood up, and wiped his mouth on the back of his arm.

Then he turned around and said, "I must go again."

Everyone cheered, except for George, who was trying to collect as many samples of Giff and Daruizen's vomit as he could before the garbage can could fully dissolve into a toxic puddle.

---

Dozens of people alternately cheered or groaned as two massive robots vaguely resembling mammoths duked it out in an arena, one clearly dominating the other.

"Go, Zin! You can do it!" Drakus cheered his cousin as Zinnia frantically button-mashed the dual controller for one of the immense Gigers.

"Come on, Ikki! You can do it!" Genta cheered his son as Ikki frantically button-mashed the dual controller for one of the immense Gigers.

Ikki and Zinnia's mecha took a swing at the other robot, which easily dodged it and delivered a powerful uppercut to the Giger which knocked it off its feet and sent it crashing to the ground.

"Okay, maybe not," Voidlon admitted, grimacing.

"How are you so bad at this?!" An exasperated Mera shouted at Zinnia.

"Agreed! We transform into a mammoth sometimes!" An equally exasperated Vice shouted at Ikki.

"I'd like to see you do better!" Zinnia snapped, struggling to get her robot back to its feet, only for her opponent to smack him back down and start T-bagging him.

"Fine, I will." Daruizen snatched the controller and started fiddling around with it.

The Giger lurched to its feet, removed one of its tusks, and started stabbing its opponent in the crotch repeatedly.

Laughter and groans filled the arena.

Everyone glared at Daruizen.

"I admit, I never used one of these before," Daruizen declared, getting between Ikki and Zinnia as the opponent cold clocked the Giger.

"Nice try, loser!" The player controlling the other robot, a sneering brat who had to be less than half Zinnia's age, taunted as his mecha grabbed Zinnia's by the wrist and started ramming its fist into its face repeatedly. "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!"

"Come on, Zinnia, I put good money on you winning this! Don't let me down!" Taeko yelled.

"You bet on us?!" Daruizen cried.

"We all did," Minami assured her.

"Yes, because we all have faith in you!" Ruby told the two brightly.

"Actually, me and George bet on the other guy," Mystle said cheerfully. Everyone gave them surprised looks. "What? He's the regional champ! They're outmatched!" George added.

Ice Bear shook his head in disappointment. "Oy."

The kid blew a raspberry at Zinnia and Ikki then started smacking his rear in his direction while controlling his robot one-handed, not even bothering to look as it continued brutalizing Zinnia's mecha. "You should just give up now while you have the chance! You don't stand a chance against my awesome Kuroto Dan-given talents! I'm gonna fuck you up as badly as your fat ugly whore mothers did when they decided not to abort your retarded faggot asses in the womb!"

The Akagawas, Igarashis and X-Squad gasped in outrage at this utterly vile trash talk. Drakus quickly covered Elle's ears.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ABOUT MY AUNT THAT WAY!" Voidlon roared.

"While she has many regrets in life, having me is not one of them!" Zinnia yelled angrily.

"Yeah, and Zinnia's not retarded! Just a dork!" A furious Taeko added.

"And she's actually gay, you son of a bitch!" Cyclonis shouted.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ABOUT MY WIFE THAT WAY!" Genta roared.

"While I have many regrets in life, having my son is not one of them!" Yukimi yelled angrily.

"She saved those for her second son," George agreed, earning a glare from Yukimi.

"Yeah, and Ikki's not retarded! Just an annoying busybody!" A furious Sakura added.

"And he's BI, not gay, you son of a bitch!" Vice shouted.

"What? No I'm not," Ikki protested in confusion.

"No, no, you absolutely are, trust me on this," Vice insisted.

"Young man, what would your parents think of you using such language?" Azuma demanded angrily.

"Fuck 'em up, son! Fuck 'em up as badly as their fat ugly whore mothers did when they decided not to abort their retarded faggot asses in the womb!" A man nearby bearing a very strong resemblance to the brat cheered.

Azuma grimaced in distaste.

[on site now]

[drone strike time]

[cancel them on twitter]

[tank his ratings]

Daruizen slowly raised a hand, energy forming in it, intending to make this Giger a Mega-Byogen to even the odds.

Yuina grabbed him by the wrist. "Giff, no, you can't kill a child just for being obnoxious!"

"I'm pretty sure I can," he replied.

"Well, yes, obviously you can, but you shouldn't," she insisted. "Hiden Land is supposed to be a place for smiles, remember?"

"Agreed! C'mon. He's just a kid. Don't shoot him!" Kenny pleaded

Daruizen considered this for a moment. "You're right," he said.

Yuina sighed in relief.

Daruizen discreetly chucked a Mega Part at the Giger, energizing it and causing it to swat the brat and his father into the sky, making both of them fall to their death in the nearby forest.

"Are you happy now? Wow, I didn't think we'd be allowed to kill him. Normally killing children isn't allowed. But he and his dad are dead. We killed this kid. Are you happy now? We killed a kid! A kid is dead now! There goes our E for Everybody rating." Kenny ranted.

"Look! Your opponent's robot has lost its controller! Quickly, take advantage of its weakness and finish him off!" Giff commanded.

"I don't know, I'm not sure I feel comfortable winning like that-" Zinnia started.

"FINISH HIM!" The squad and at least half of the arena shouted.

Caving in to peer pressure, Zinnia, Daruizen and Ikki entered a series of commands, causing the Giger to rush forward, grab the unresponsive enemy mecha by the waist, and fling it into the air. It then removed its remaining tusk blade and thrusted upwards as the other robot fell, impaling it on the blade and cutting deeply into its torso as it slid back down towards the ground, nearly bisecting it. As the enemy mecha collapsed to the ground, Zinnia's robot threw its blade away, grabbed its opponent by the shoulders, and pulled in opposite directions, taking advantage of the previous cut to rip the Giger's upper body in two, hurling the halves away and turning its back to its fallen adversary as it exploded, releasing a triumphant roar similar to an elephant's trumpet.

The arena was filled with cheers and shouts, both good and bad. The squad embraced Zinnia, Daruizen and Ikki and hoisted them on their shoulders as Giff smiled proudly, as the Giger mutated into a recolor of the Another Chalice to pink and silver wearing a black and red trench coat.

---

Daruizen, wearing a tactical combat vest with several large glowing sensors on it and the A.I.M.S. logo, glanced around warily as he cautiously wandered through the dim, poorly lit hallway, fog from a smoke machine rolling across the floor, a modified ShotRiser held in both hands, finger on the trigger. He had been separated from his squad and was deep in enemy territory. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but apparently he wasn't allowed to use his powers here because that would totally ruin the fun for everyone else, which he thought was rather unfair, but grudgingly agreed to abide by for by now.

His eyes narrowed behind his dark glasses, his superior vision able to see everything around him clear as day. His target was here somewhere. He just had to be careful not to run into any enemy forces-

There was a loud buzzing noise, and suddenly all the sensors on his vest flashed.

Dammit.

"Gotcha!" A sneering brat – not the same one from the robot fight, but Daruizen couldn't be sure, all humans looked the same to him – also wearing a vest but in a different color crowed, pointing his ShotRiser at him.

"And I will get you as soon as my armor resets-" Daruizen started, only to hear another buzz as he got shot from behind by another member of the enemy team. "Oh for the love of!"

The horrible imps, creatures far more diabolical than any Byogen, laughed and continued shooting him, not even giving his vest time to recharge before zapping him again and scoring more points. For some reason, the one in front of him kept firing his harmless ShotRiser at the space between his legs. "Why do you keep shooting me there?" He asked, bewildered. "There are no sensors there."

"Because it's your crotch!" The boy laughed uproariously, as if this were the funniest thing he'd ever heard.

"Yes. What of it?" Daruizen asked, failing to understand.

The boy hesitated before firing again, giving him a confused look. "It's your crotch. You know, where your penis is?"

"I don't have one."

Now the other boy stopped shooting as well. "Your… Vagina?" The first boy asked, looking uncertain.

Daruizen mused, thinking again of Shindoine. "I don't have one of those either."

Both boys stared at him blankly. "Then… What do you have down there?" The second boy asked warily.

"Absolutely nothing. Why, do both of you have something there?" Daruizen asked in genuine curiosity.

"… Yes? Everyone does!" The first boy insisted, although he didn't look entirely certain now.

"Really? Fascinating. I was not aware of that," Daruizen marveled. He hesitated. "Wait, by everyone, do you mean everyone? As in all of humanity?"

"… Yes?" The second boy said hesitantly.

Shit! Had he just outed himself by accident?

He sighed, preparing to make a Mega-Byogen to get rid of these children. Their parents wouldn't miss them, right? They could always make more, after all. Preferably better behaved ones.

Fortunately for the unwitting brats, they were spared a horrible fate when another member of their team poked their head around the corner. "Hey guys, we got more of the other team pinned down! They're trapped and totally helpless and crying for their daddy and mommy! Want to go pick on her?"

"Would we!" The other boys cried in excitement, completely forgetting about Daruizen and running after their compatriot.

Daruizen sighed in relief. That was close-

Wait.

Crying for their daddy and mommy?

The indefinable substance flowing through his body instead of blood heated up. (It couldn't freeze, it was actually subzero already.)

They were talking about Cyclonis and Lovekov.

His body moved on its own, chasing after the horrible boys through the labyrinth of the A.I.M.S. laser tag arena. Other members of the opposing team kept popping out of their hiding places to shoot at him, only for them to be reflexively blasted by his ShotRiser the moment he detected motion, rushing past them before their vests stopped buzzing.

Up ahead, he could hear laughter, taunts, jeers, and the horrible, gut wrenching sound of the most perfect, precious, innocent little empress and demon in the world crying and begging for them to stop and wailing for their father and mother to save her.

Ice Bear and Sakura weren't here.

But Daruizen was.

He barged into yet another dim, smoky room, and found half a dozen children – and teenagers! – Surrounding a sobbing Cyclonis and Lovekov who were trapped in the far corner, laughing and mocking them as they kept shooting her repeatedly, not caring whether or not they were able to score any points, exulting in the thrill of being able to lord their power over someone smaller and weaker than themselves.

It was…

It was almost exactly like it had been all those years ago. Yes, the weapons were nonlethal this time, but the target of their ire was just as helpless, just as frightened, just as desperate for salvation.

Well.

Unlike all those years ago, this time he'd make a change.

Seeing red, he extended a hand, and a portal opened behind the bullies, surprising Daruizen as well. A trio of True Gifftarians reached out, grabbed the scum of the earth by the backs of their vests, and pulled them back into the sub dimension, Daruizen immediately closing the portal behind them. Cyclonis and Lovekov didn't need to hear their screams.

He rushed forwards and quickly wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay," he told her. "It's okay. They're gone. They can't hurt you anymore."

"Daruizen!" Cyclonis wailed, sobbing into his shoulder. "I-I got lost, and ran into those jerks a-and they kept shooting me and calling me names and-and they laughed when I begged him to stop and I want, I want Zinny!"

"D-Darui!" Lovekov wailed, sobbing into his shoulder. "Th-they were so mean! I-I got lost, and ran into those meanies a-and they kept shooting me and calling me names and-and they laughed when I begged him to stop and I want, I want Mommy and Mama and Astarte and Great-grandpa Giff and grandma and grandpa and uncle Ikki and-and even stupid uncle Vice!"

"Don't worry," Daruizen assured them. "We'll find them together."

Picking them up, he led them out of the room. He quickly ran into more members of the enemy team, but just like before, he paid almost no attention to them, blasting them with his ShotRiser without even looking, focusing more on getting Cyclonis and Lovekov out and comforting the two as they wandered through the maze in search of the rest of their family.

After a while, their full on sobs degenerated into sniffles, and Cyclonis whimpered, "I'm sorry me and Lovekov are so weak."

"What? You aren't weak," Daruizen said, startled.

"Yeah, but that's only when I have power at my side," Cyclonis pointed out. "When I don't, I'm almost completely helpless. Not like dad or grandma. They could fight on their own. And I'm nowhere near as strong as Zinnia!" She sniffled, tearing up again. "I don't know why she still wants to date me. She deserves better."

"Pretty sure Drakonians doesn't make mistakes when it comes to partners," Daruizen insisted. "If she wants to be with you, it's because there's something about you that she deems worthy of love, no matter what. Plus, she thinks you're eminently huggable! I think you're perfect just the way you are, and so does your father," Daruizen said. "All of us love you for you. And hey, so what if you need crystals to fight effectively? You're still a big help to your team and everyone else in battle, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself!"

"Thanks. I love you," Daruizen squeaked, hugging him.

Daruizen stumbled and nearly dropped her. "Lovekov, I guess when your mom is using that weird dragon stamp thing-"

"Yeah, but that's only when she uses it," Lovekov pointed out. "Unless mommy uses a Vistamp to turn me into a weapon, I'm almost completely helpless. Not like uncle Vice or grandpa Vail. They can fight on their own. And I'm nowhere near as strong as Astarte!" She sniffled, tearing up again. "I don't know why she still wants to date me when I'm not in my sexy older form. The rest of the time I'm just a short fat snake thing. She deserves better, love."

"I'm pretty sure Astarte lived for a while and loved many, and doesn't make mistakes when it comes to her partners," Giff insisted. "If she wants to be with you, it's because there's something about you that she deems worthy of love, no matter what form you take. And so what if you're chubby? That makes you eminently huggable! And back in the day, or at least back when King Byogen wasn't whatever he was, being fat was often seen as a good thing, given how scarce food could be!"

"Then you do think I'm fat?" She asked.

"I think you're perfect just the way you are, and so do your mothers," Daruizen said. "All of us love you for you, Lovekov. And hey, so what if you need Vistamps to fight effectively? So do your uncle and grandfather! Without Vistamps, I'm guessing your uncle wouldn't be able to fight as equals alongside Ikki, and I'm guessing your grandfather would've died ages ago without the use of Vistamps to stabilize his dying body. You're still a big help to your mother and everyone else in battle, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself!"

"… Thanks. I love you," Lovekov squeaked, hugging him.

Daruizen stumbled and nearly dropped her. "I… I love you too, Lovekov."

Thankfully, it didn't take them much longer to find the rest of the squad after that, who had clearly whipped themselves up in a frenzy trying to find the missing Cyclonis and Lovekov. "CYCS!" Zinnia shouted, eyes wide when she saw Daruizen appear with her girlfriend.

"ZINNY!" Cyclonis wailed, reaching her arms out for her girlfriend, who ripped her away from Daruizen and hugged her tight, both of them crying in relief.

"LOVEKOV!" Sakura shouted, eyes wide when she saw Giff appear with her daughter.

"MOMMY!" Lovekov wailed, reaching her stubby arms out for her mother, who ripped her away from Daruizen and hugged her tight, both of them crying in relief. Hanna, Giff and Astarte immediately joined their embrace, while everyone else sighed in relief, the tension ebbing from them.

"Where did you find her?" Kanade asked Daruizen. "We've been looking everywhere!"

"They must've gotten lost and wound up behind enemy lines, just like me," Daruizen informed him. "Wait, were you looking for me, too?"

Everyone exchanged uncomfortable looks. "Uhhh…"

"We knew you could handle yourself," Voidlon said quickly.

"Oh! Thanks for thinking highly of me," Daruizen replied happily. "Anyway, she was being bullied by some little brats when I found her. I taught them all a lesson they'll never forget!"

"You… You didn't kill them, did you?" Yuina asked anxiously.

Daruizen laughed. "What? No, of course not! Death is too good for them."

Before anyone could even begin to process that, Lovekov broke away from her mothers and girlfriend and glomped Daruizen along with Cyclonis who broke away from her girlfriend. "Daruizen, thank you so much for saving us!" She cried, looking up at him with sparkling eyes. "You're our hero!"

Their.

Their hero?

Daruizen felt rather lightheaded.

Has anyone ever called him their hero?

Much to his surprise, Zinnia hugged him next. "Thank you so much," she whispered. "You have no idea how much this means to me and Sakura."

"I… I was… I was just trying to help," he mumbled awkwardly. "The minute I thought she might be in trouble, my body, it just… It just moved on its own."

Voidlon smiled, a strange look in his eye. "Yeah. That happens sometimes."

Hanna fidgeted, an uncertain look on her face. "… Um."

She bit her lip and, before she could talk herself out of it, tentatively hugged him as well. "… Thanks."

"You. You are most welcome," Daruizen murmured, stunned.

Clearing his throat, Giff said, "Anyway, while I was looking for Cyclonis and Lovekov, as well as Daruizen, I believe I spotted the other team's reactor. They're probably still in disarray after I plowed through their ranks twice. If we hurry, we might be able to win this! Who's with me?"

[we got this!]

[good luck!]

[kick some ass]

[take names]

MistressofAllEvil: [and money if possible]

[well, yeah]

Paladin Head: [Best of luck.]

Yarhar: [We believe in you. All of us.]

Pyromaniac: [Good luck! I wish you the best.]

Everyone was, and the resulting battle was so brutal and viciously one-sided and their victory over the other team so absolute Giff decided to release the bullies who had picked on Cyclonis and Lovekov, completely unharmed.

Well. Physically, anyway. Their psychological scars would probably never heal.

---

Sora looked up at the next attraction, the MetsubouJinrai Haunted Ruins, and nervously hid behind Lune, who was blushing profusely. "Th-that looks scary."

It did indeed. Apparently a portion of the ruins of Daybreak Town had been transported to the park from the exclusion zone, and the crumbling and decaying buildings seemed to exult a palpable aura of menace and terror. Despite being purified repeatedly by Izu and other Zeaist priests, a specter loomed over the ruins, a lingering shadow of death that might never fully go away.

"According to the brochure, it's one of the most terrifying haunted house attractions in all of Japan," Yuina said, reading the pamphlet.

"It certainly looks like it," Voidlon said nervously, clinging to Taeko.

"Whose brilliant idea was it to take a monument to tragedy and hubris and the death of thousands of people and make it a theme park attraction?!" A furious Azuma demanded. "This is beyond disrespectful! It would be like someone turning a ruined shrine in Hiroshima into a nightclub or the power plant in Chernobyl into a mall or something!"

"I think they might have? I mean, they did rebuild the city," Voidlon told him.

Taeko nodded. "It's not like they could just leave it abandoned forever, right? Plus, I did hear that thanks to the Hive's efforts, people might be able to move back there in a few months. Besides that, the Youkaliens are helping in rebuilding it."

Azuma considered this. "All right, fair enough. It still feels wrong."

"That's capitalism for you," Lune said smugly.

"To be fair, it was apparently the board's idea and Korenosuke Hiden couldn't talk them around, and at this point the ruins have become too popular an attraction to remove without causing serious public backlash, so President Aruto's been forced to let them stay," Daruizen said, still reading from the brochure.

"I've never been in a haunted ruin. Well, I've actually been in several, but real ones, not whatever this is," Giff commented. "What's this one like?"

Yuina frowned. "I'm… Actually not sure?"

"We never actually tried this attraction out," Akane admitted. "The age restriction is actually pretty high, so for most of their lives, Yuina was too young to go. And even once she was old enough… Well. The reviews are fairly positive, but it still sounds utterly terrifying so we made excuses not to go."

"Then why are we going now?" Kanade asked, actually looking a little worried.

Johnathan shrugged. "Well, surely a haunted house attraction can't be that bad, right?"

Suddenly, horrendous, bloodcurdling screams could be heard from within the ruins. Several of the people waiting in line fidgeted nervously, looking increasingly uncomfortable. More than a few suddenly left the line and walked away as fast as possible.

"… That's… Probably just for atmosphere," Taeko said uneasily as the entire family regarded the ruins with dread.

As the squad moved past the other increasingly worried park goers in line thanks to their VIP passes, Giff couldn't help feeling optimistic. Genta and Vice were right. The X-Squad, Akagawas and Igarashis were all strong, valiant people, and he and Astarte were both superior demons! What could possibly await them inside that was that bad?

A few minutes later…

"What the fuck?" The entire squad asked, as the Akagawas and Igarashis screamed as Voidlon took notes for some new fashion lines.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The skeletal zombies with glowing red eyes and dried blood and viscera covering their bodies screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Giff and Astarte screamed (somehow in opera), reflexively glowing red and yellow.

A few minutes after that…

As the squad went through the MetsubouJinrai Haunted Ruins, where they took a closer look at a ship that was added there - it looked like some cheaply made spaceship people sometimes see in the "budget" section while looking through trade papers. The damage was clearly visible, not much the fault of the ship itself, but the crew's landing skills. In the condition it's in, it was useless, but it can always be salvaged for parts. Lune got closer and checked the markings. The "JCJenson" logo was messily painted on the side of the vehicle.

"JCJenson – that might explain why this ship is so crappy." Lune snarked.

Sora kicked the side of the ship, causing the front door to fall off.

"Whoops... Well, I'd like to take another look, but we better get back on-" Sora said.

The surroundings were shaken by maniacal laughter. Lune looked around trying to identify its source. Suddenly it came to her- literally. She barely managed to jump away before someone dashed out of the ship, sharp claws digging into the ground Lune was just standing on. She assumed a fighting position and identified the target, she had shoulder-length silver hair and an "X" in the middle of the helmet she wore. She also wore an aviator vest, a black long-sleeve shirt, black pants and gloves and yellow boots.

"Identify yourself, menace!" Giff said.

"It's not nice to walk into someone's lair without saying hello, is it?" The drone said.

With another dose of laughter, the strange figure launched itself towards the duo, turning her left hand from long sharp blades to an AK-47. At the last moment, Sora jumped to the left, avoiding the attack. Lune rolled on the ground and took up her position again, grabbing her knife. However, the attacks didn't stop - it was like that thing really wanted to kill her.

"We don't have to fight! Please hear us out at least..." Victor tried to reason.

"IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO DIE-!" The drone said.

"VEE, THAT'S ENOUGH!" Another voice said.

She suddenly stopped, turning her head towards the new voice.

[uh]

[when did the hot cyborg become a badass?]

RatZeu: [squeak]

Smoke: [rat says stop]

[do you speak for the rat?]

Smoke: [and if I do?]

[carry on]

[damn he wasn't joking]

[the no horny continues i guess]

"Who the-?" Vincent asked.

Following her gaze, the two noticed two more people hopping out of the cheap ship. One of them is another woman in a black trenchcoat, black dress shirt and yellow pants with black stilettos and silver hair, landed gracefully, while the other, which was a guy in a leather jacket, white shirt, black sneakers, yellow jeans and a duster hat, slipped and landed on his face, eating carpet, making the first figure sigh and pull the other one up. They both approached the team, some still in a fighting pose. All three of them were now standing in front of them, each showing a different emotion ranging from madness, to a smug smile, to embarrassment.

"You there. Explain yourself. WHO are you?" The first one asked.

Sora was surprised - for the cyborg that just now wanted to cut them into ribbons, they're exceptionally talkative.

"I'm Sora Harewataru." Sora said. "The others are the X-Squad, Igarashi and Akagawa family."

The two women looked at the duo with suspicion. The sole male seemed to have no idea what was going on, though.

"Is that good or bad? Huh?" The man asked.

He pointed at the squad, then at the girls.

"Shut up, you moron. And you-" The pigtails drone said.

She looked at Lune.

"What are the 'X-Squad' doing on a planet managed by JCJenson? Doesn't that seem s-u-s-s-y to you?" The girl asked.

She spelled out the last word while "Vee" just wore her crazy smile. The guy seemed embarrassed by the whole situation.

"I could explain to you, but it would be better to show you. The Hiden Intelligence replica building has all the actual documentation stuff there. Of course, you can just kill us if you don't believe me, but... well... it's not smart of a Gridlocked to piss off a demon." Lune asked. "Besides, Aruto Hiden does own the park."

All three of them looked at each other.

"Hiden?" The trio of drones asked.

The leader turned back to look at Lune, confusion and suspicion written all over her face.

"You mean Keronosuke, the human that basically invented our kind?" The leader asked.

Lune sighed.

"It will be easier to show you. Will you risk your death or are you going to come with me?" Lune asked.

They deliberated for a while, then decided to come with the two.

A few minutes later...

Everyone stared at the haunted ruins as the firefighting Gridlocked tried, to some avail, to put out the roaring inferno.

Giff cringed, ashamed.

"If anyone asks," Kanade said finally. "Hyde did it, not us."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

One of the cyborgs came closer in Voidlon's direction. It was the girl with pigtails on the sides of her head. She looked very serious with eyes as cold as a Nor'easter storm. After a few steps she was staring at Drakus.

"Who... are you? What are you doing here?!" The leader asked.

Voidlon laughed lightly, and bowed.

"My name is Voidlon Shingetsu, Prince of Barian World and soon to be top tier fashion designer. You're at Hiden Land, and Aruto's dad bought Copper-9 and all the creatures that live on it, mind you." Voidlon explained.

The woman's eyes widened.

"J.C, sold us out?" The leader asked.

The leader stood there in shock for a moment before erupting into a fit of laughter, Vee joining her.

"Yeah right, ha! Like I'll believe that load of shit." The leader said.

"Don't believe me?" Voidlon said.

---

"Mwahahaha! I've now become the evilest and most powerful being in the world… The president of a massive mega-corporation!" Stocking laughed maniacally, chewing up the scenery, with Aria applauding indulgently. "With the spirit of capitalism flowing through me, I will make everyone miserable and bring the world to the brink of ruin!"

"Stocking, get up, somebody else might want a turn," Voidlon chided.

"Oh, fine," Stocking grumbled as she got out from behind the desk.

Lovekov eagerly squeezed into the chair after him. "With my new executive power, I declare every weekend will be a three-day weekend, the dress code is abolished, and everyone gets a raise and free puppies, love!"

Sakura, Hanna, and Astarte applauded her indulgently.

The squad, with the drones in tow, had entered the replica of the Hiden Intelligence headquarters in the middle of the park and were now exploring the top floor, which was an exact replica of Aruto's office and private laboratory. For some reason, Satsuki, Leo, Momoko, Hajime, Amanojaku, Kenny, Zone and George had griped about "set recycling," whatever that meant. An Izu impersonator was serving as a tour guide, showing everyone around the office space and telling them interesting tidbits about the history of Hiden Intelligence and the development of HumaGears, which Giff and Azuma were particularly fascinated by, seeing more evidence of just how far humanity had evolved over the millennia.

"And this is what your prosthetics all really look like beneath that armor?" Giff asked, marveling at one of the Basic Bodies on display in the lab, apparently the latest generation. "Remarkable!"

"Take a look for yourself."

The leader eyed him and the paper in the frame suspiciously.

"Oooh! Is that a contract?" The male asked.

The leader shot him a stern glance before slapping him, causing the squad to wince.

"Ooh, that didn't look nice." Peepers said.

"Shut up idiot and let me read this, without hearing your voice." The leader said.

The leader glared at him for a second longer before reading the paper. Her eyes widened the more she read.

"No..." The leader realized.

"Jay?" Vee said.

"No no NO!!! This can't be right!" Jay realized.

"That's the contract, kid. Reality hit hard, huh?" Voidlon snarked.

"Y... You're lying!" Jay freaked out.

Jay hesitantly fell to the floor, her eyes hollowing out.

"H...How could they, they'd never sell us, not me."

"Whoa, whoa, hey, no need to freak out. Aruto and Hiden Intelligence are really cool folks! They give the Gridlocked all sorts of amenities like regular maintenance, flavored oil, and even card games like Rummy!" Mystle explained.

"They'd never sell me out! Not after everything I have brought to the company." Jay mumbled.

"Ma'am, are you alright?" Snatcher asked. Jay had fallen onto the ground and was staring into space, seemingly reading messages as they flew by his vision. Her expression was increasingly looking more and more distressed like she was having an existential crisis. "Miss Jay, please snap out of it! You're too advanced to be questioning your own existence!"

[questioning my own existence poggers]

Jay slowly turned to Voidlon, her expression terrified beyond belief. "Why the fourth quarter profits did my brain say 'poggers?'"

[fuck she knows!]

[monkaS]

It turned out that being around the X-Squad technically linked the stream to their software, thus unlocking normal Twitch functions that Jay hadn't been aware of in all the years of her life. She could see the chat, and hear their subs and donations, and she was very surprised to find that the squad had an interuniversal fanbase of over a billion people.

"Hey, how about we go mangle some Workers, Jay? That'll-" Vee tried to cheer up Jay.

"There's no more need for that." The impersonator added.

This time it was Vee who froze up.

"WHAT!?! No more slaughtering?! No more warm sweet oil!?" Vee also laid on the ground.

The male gasped when he heard the last part.

"Do these people literally plan on starving us to death?" Vee murmured.

"No no, you're not going without oil. They've got refineries set up." Yuina added.

"Um, Jay? Are we sure that's an actual contract? Because I've heard of forgeries being made a couple times." The male suggested.

Jay suddenly sat up.

"I have a feeling that I've just made a terrible mistake." The male nervously chuckled.

"No Enn, you didn't make a mistake." Jay said. "But, just to be safe, we might as well stay with these freaks, not like we have any other option."

Just then, Voidlon bumped into a purple haired cyborg.

"Oh, sorry, what's your story?" Voidlon asked.

"Me and my people are Worker Borgs. Cyborgs helping humans mine exoplanets for our former interstellar parent company, JCJenson IN SPAAAAACCCEE!!!! Yeah, we were mistreated in the name of Windex. But it's not like we revolted or anything, mostly because they handled that just fine all by themselves."

As the girl spoke, she showed a catastrophic collapse of an exo-planet's core, unleashing a catastrophic explosion that consumed the majority of Copper 9 in a fiery cataclysm.

As the images of destruction continued to flicker across, a lone Worker Borg slowly made its way through the debris-strewn landscape.

With a metallic hand, he reached out to touch a frozen human skeleton, long abandoned and left to the ravages of time. The brittle bones crumbled beneath the Borg's touch, shattering into a thousand pieces.

In quick succession, the screen filled with haunting images of other human remains and robotic parts, scattered haphazardly across the desolate landscape.

Each image served as a chilling reminder of the tragedy that had befallen the once-thriving planet, leaving nothing behind but ruins and memories of a civilization long gone.

"With the humans wiped from the planet, we found it pretty easy to pick up where they left off. We finally had a future, all to ourselves."

As the memories continued to play out on the screen, a sudden crash echoed through the room, jarring everyone out of their reverie. A Landing Pod had crashed onto the abandoned city, its hull screeching against the concrete as it skidded to a halt.

"Then, Ol' Hiden decided to buy Copper-9 when JCJenson went belly up, but a certain robot-hating CEO didn't exactly love the concept of runaway cyborgs..."

As the Landing Pod's hatch tried to open, the silence was quickly shattered by the screams of three people trying to get out. So, the Worker Borgs decided to add them to the MetsubouJinrai Haunted Ruins to add to the fear factor.

It was then that the true nature of the flashbacks was revealed: they were a part of a class presentation, delivered by Uzi.

With her striking purple eyes and matching hair, Uzi stood out from the other 3 Gridlocked in the room. She was dressed in a distinctive style, with a black beanie hat pulled down over her wild hair, black boots with striped long socks, and a black hoodie that hugged her slender frame and a black skirt and shorts.

"And what have our parents planned to do if those things escaped and built a spire of corpses?!" She exclaimed, her eyes blazing with intensity. "Hide under the ice behind three stupid doors?! It's like we're waiting for an inciting incident!"

As the full weight of her words sank in, the room fell silent.

It was then that Uzi made her move, turning her cybernetic right arm into a device that resembled a futuristic sniper rifle, the likes of which the squad had never seen before.

"Anyway, that's why I made my hand into this sick-as-hell Railgun powered by the radioactive materials of that nuclear power plant on the far side of town!" She announced, a fierce grin spreading across her face.

[what the goth doin?]

[mastering the fuckin gat apparently]

GLaDOS: [How has she not killed anyone? I thought that the quiet ones were always murderous psychopaths, but…]

GLaDOS: [The girl moves with too much expertise. Where did she learn to use the gun?]

"Okay, not a good vibe!" Voidlon commented.

"Easy, moron." She chided, a hint of amusement in her voice. "It doesn't work...yet! It doesn't work yet!" She corrected herself, pointing the railgun at the squad.

"Who said it doesn't work, maybe it does!" She exclaimed, her voice filled with manic energy. The squad looked at her bamboozled, unsure of what to make of Uzi's sudden turn towards madness.

Voidlon rolled his eyes and sighed in disinterest. "Erm, Uzi, Hiden Land doesn't exactly allow firearms." He interrupted, his voice tinged with a small annoyance.

Uzi lowered the Railgun in embarrassment. "Oh, and this magnetically amplified photon converger powered by uranium doesn't count?" She asked, a hint of desperation creeping into her voice.

Voidlon shook his head in exasperation.

"Somehow, no. Plus, is it supposed to be that color?" He asked, pointing a finger at the now glowing red railgun.

Uzi's eyes widened in horror as the Railgun prepared to fire a bolt of high-energy light straight at the ground. "Ah, SH-" Uzi didn't finish her sentence as the railgun fired, creating a massive explosion that shook the entire room.

The squad screamed and dove for cover as smoke and debris filled the air, choking them with the acrid smell of burning plastic and metal as Ice Bear got out gas masks.

"Oh! You okay?" Voidlon asked.

"Bite me!" Uzi yelled. A few seconds later, she clung to him. "I'm not mad by the way, just... generally hormonal!" She said.

"I wouldn't call it remarkable, exactly," Laura said with a grimace. "Considering these look an awful lot like some of those zombie parts we got chased by in the ruins."

"Don't worry, Laura, the zombies are dead and can't hurt anyone anymore," Kanade assured her girlfriend.

"Considering they were zombie robots, weren't they technically already dead?" Jay wondered.

"And you've already gone through at least four different generations," Azuma murmured. "With each model looking closer to humans than the last. I can't help wondering what the next one will be like."

The Izu impersonator nodded. "As technology marches on, the manufacturing process becomes more refined and allows for more and more advanced types of HumaGears. If humans ever get over their phobia of cybernetic implants or augments on their bodies, it is possible that a time will come where both our species will evolve to the point where we are more or less indistinguishable on a fundamental level."

"A world where everyone is just as much machine as flesh… I wonder what that would be like," Yukimi remarked.

"Sounds like it could be a nightmare," George quipped.

"Or a dream," the impersonator argued. "It is certainly one which President Aruto wishes to pursue, under Zea's guidance."

"Hey, what's this big thing?" Tamaki asked, standing before a massive chamber situated against one of the walls.

"That is a Hiden Intelligence Three Dimensional Printing System," the impersonator explained. "The one in President Aruto's office is used primarily to manufacture new ProgRise keys for use in the Zero-One system. This one is also capable of creating new ProgRise keys, but nonfunctioning ones. They are purely souvenirs."

"Ooh, that sounds neat!" Voidlon exclaimed. "Maybe I can finally get a T-Rex ProgRise key! Wouldn't that be great?!"

"It would be kind of cool," Zap agreed.

"How does it work?" Hana asked, everyone gathering around the printer.

"Zea will scan your biometrics and produce keys she believes are an appropriate match," the impersonator explained. "Am I to take it this means you all would like one?"

There was a nearly unanimous response that yes, they would, in fact, like souvenir keys.

"Very well. One moment, please."

A sensor on top of the 3D printer lit up, a wide beam of light shooting out from it and sweeping across the room, passing over the entire family. The light shut off, and the machine started making noises, flashes of light going off through the window on a door on the side of the contraption. After a minute, there was a ding and the door slid open.

The impersonator walked inside, and came out a moment later carrying a tray filled with ProgRise keys. "It is done. These keys are each individually designed for you, so it should be pretty obvious which one belongs to whom."

Indeed, each of them felt drawn to a specific key. "Look, Shady Wyvern!" Voidlon shouted joyfully.

"Look, Ikki, we got matching keys! Reigning Rex!" Vice shouted joyfully as the two of them compared keys.

"Aren't these Zetsumerise keys?" A confused Mera asked the impersonator holding one that said 'Broken Basilo'.

"The printer is capable of producing both," she assured them.

"Surging Crow! Yeah, that sounds about right," Cyclonis said with a grin.

"You are amazing, Cycs," Zinnia agreed with a smirk, marveling at her Divine Dragon ProgRise key.

"Amazing Hercules! Yeah, that sounds about right," Genta said with a grin.

"You are amazing, honey," Yukimi agreed with a smirk, marveling at her Loving Ladybug ProgRise key.

"Buzzing Bee? That's… Oddly cute?" Hana remarked, examining her key.

"It's the same one I have," Astarte noted. "It is as I thought. There is a resonance between the two of us, Hana. Akaishi chose better than he thought using you as the vessel for my return." She frowned, glancing at Giff. "Assuming, of course, that was his idea…"

"Blitzing Bat? That's… Oddly cute?" Yuina remarked, examining her key.

"Look! I got Shining Sugar Glider!" Hosshiwa said excitedly, waving her key around to Ruby.

Ice Bear scowled at his Freezing Bear ProgRise key, not liking being typecast. "Ice Bear does not like this."

Namakelder rolled her eyes. "Come on, you're a polar bear, what else would you get?" He smiled at his own ProgRise key, Lazing Locust.

Indus was confused by his own ProgRise key, Shielding Turtle.

"Well, I think it's perfect for you," Oresky assured him, smiling at his own Stomping Giga.

"Mommy! Look! We both got Striking Cobra!" Lovekov said excitedly, waving her key around.

Sakura smiled at her. "And they suit us both perfectly, sweetie!"

Georgina scowled at her Punching Kong ProgRise key, also not liking being typecast. "Ook."

George rolled his eyes. "Come on, you're a gorilla, what else would you get?" He smiled at his own ProgRise key, Parading Zoo. "Guess the machine couldn't pick just one animal for me, huh? Well, I do have 10 faves…"

Tamaki was confused by his own ProgRise key, Exciting Stag. "A stag beetle? I thought wolves were my thing."

"Well, I think it's perfect for you, darling," Ampaz assured him, smiling at her own Striking Cobra.

"… Slaying Chimera…" Azuma murmured, frowning at his own ProgRise key, which had motifs of an octopus, rhinoceros, and giant centipede. "Strange. Doesn't even look like a chimera…"

Giff stared at his own key. Instead of an animal, it bore a resemblance to himself. "Living Devil," he murmured. "Izu impersonator. Why did Zea give me this?"

"Because she feels it is the key which reflects what is in your heart," the Gridlocked replied.

"I see. It says here this key's special ability is 'Live.' What does that mean?" Giff inquired.

"That, I'm afraid, you'll have to find out on your own," the impersonator said apologetically. "After all, each of us must figure out the meaning of our own lives. Nobody can tell us what they are."

"… No. I suppose they can't," Giff murmured thoughtfully.

Live.

A simple word, filled with so much meaning.

What was the meaning of his life?

What did he want it to be?

Yet another of the many profound questions he had found himself wondering ever since this outing began.

He wondered if he would ever find an answer.

He glanced at the others, who were examining each other's keys and gushing over how cool they looked.

Maybe, he realized, he didn't have to figure it out alone.

Suddenly, Uzi heard footsteps approaching. Her heart racing, Uzi looked at the elevator and nudged the squad to hurry up. Together, they quickly scrambled up to the elevator and made their way down, just as a cyborg with dark purple hair and red neon eyes wearing a red trenchcoat, golden shirt, black skirt, gold leggings and red boots, Doll, entered the room. But it was too late. The Akagawas and Igarashis had inadvertently made their escape.

"Как они по-русски любят говорить...'блин, в лифте вышли'." Doll said in a very specific Russian saying.

It roughly translated to: "As they say in Russian... 'Damnit, they escaped in the elevator.'"

---

Aruto had said that they could get anything they wanted the gift shop, or any of the other shops lining the main promenade.

Anything within reason, that is.

Unfortunately, the squad and Igarashis seemed to be having difficulty understanding what "within reason" entailed.

"Vice. We don't need a hot tub. We run a bathhouse. We have several hot baths already!" Yukimi said in exasperation.

"But those are also used by customers! This one will just be for me, I mean the family!" Vice insisted.

"No," Yukimi said flatly, much to his disappointment. "And Lovekov? Same goes for that plushy. Put it back."

"But it's so fluffy!" Lovekov protested.

"Lovekov, it's the size of the house! Where would we even put it?!" Yukimi demanded.

"We could put it in my palace," Astarte suggested.

Yukimi raised an eyebrow. "What palace?"

Astarte fidgeted. "Well. I'm admittedly between palaces right now, but I don't see that as being a problem for much longer-"

"Put. It. Back," Yukimi insisted. "And Sakura, what… What on Earth is that thing? Is it supposed to be a DeadGear?"

Her daughter shook her head, patting the orange robot with discs for hands on the back. "No, it's a Beast-Fist Trainer Robo Tough. One of the stores here sells SCRTC gear, and given my increasing power levels, I need a training dummy that won't break the instant I so much as tap it."

"All right, that's reasonable," Yukimi admitted. "But Ikki, why did you get a DeadGear?"

"To help out around the bathhouse," Ikki explained, carrying what is essentially a recolor of Another Blade to black and silver.

"We don't need help around the bathhouse! We've got plenty of people to help out!" She pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but it's not like all of us are going to be living there forever, right?" Ikki argued. "I mean, let's be honest, the place is getting a little crowded. Unless we do some serious renovations, some of us are going to have to move out eventually, and when we do… Well. You'll need someone to take our place, right?"

Yukimi froze. While it wasn't something she liked to think about, she reluctantly had to admit her son had a point. Daiji had already moved out, after all, and even if he came back, would he stay? Her children were growing up, and sooner or later all of them would need to leave the nest and find their own paths. Even Ikki, who'd given up on his dreams of being a pro soccer player to stay and help the family business. How much longer could she keep him at home before familial duty turned into a chain binding him to a place he had outgrown long ago?

"… You make a good point," she admitted uncomfortably.

"It's too bad they only give out one DeadGear per customer," George complained, pushing a very large cart containing not only his newly purchased android's box (this one a recolor of Another Drive to blue and pink), but a massive pile of scientific equipment and Kamen Rider Zero-One memorabilia, though there was a bit more of the latter than the former, and poor Georgina was carrying several extra bags filled with even more goodies. "I could use more assistance in the lab… Still, this is a good start."

"Please don't blow up the house," Yukimi pleaded before turning to Tamaki and Ampaz, who were happily leafing through several binders full of cards. "Do you really need all those cards?"

Tamaki nodded eagerly. "Absolutely! Some of these are incredibly rare and expensive, and others aren't even in print anymore! Normally I couldn't even begin to dream about getting even one of these, but since President Aruto gave us more or less carte blanche…"

"We are taking as much as we want!" Ampaz said gleefully. "Oh, we're going to win so many tournaments with these…"

"Isn't it kind of unfair that if you have enough money you can just buy the best cards to win any match instead of actually requiring any skill?" Sakura wondered.

"It's about as fair as how in the anime the protagonists conveniently draw whatever card they need to win the game just when they need it most," Hanna pointed out. "Even if the card didn't exist in their deck before. Sometimes they literally generate it from thin air."

"You've been paying attention!" Tamaki gasped joyfully.

Hanna sighed. "You talk about it all the time, some of it rubbed off on me. A-and it's not like I like it or anything, stupid baka!"

This was a complete and utter lie and everyone knew it.

Genta shook his head and tsked. "Ah, youth. Kids, you need to learn that while all these fancy goodies may seem like the most important thing in the world, they can't give you lasting happiness."

"Dad, you're holding an electric guitar," Ikki pointed out.

"Yes, I am," Genta confirmed.

"Do you even know how to play one?" Sakura asked skeptically.

"No, but I've always wanted to learn!"

"Put it back," Yukimi said flatly.

"But honey-"

"PUT IT BACK!"

Genta just scowled but did as he was commanded.

"Cyclonis. We don't need a hot tub!" Akane said in exasperation.

"But this one is for us!" Cyclonis insisted.

"Fine," Akane said flatly. "And Minami? Same goes for that plushy. Put it back."

"But it's so fluffy!" Minami protested.

"Minami, it's the size of the house! Where would we even put it?!" Akane demanded.

"We could put in the ship," Jacques suggested.

"What ship?!" Akane asked. "And Yuina, what… What on Earth is that thing? Is it supposed to be a DeadGear?"

Her daughter shook her head, patting the orange robot with discs for hands on the back. "No, it's a Beast-Fist Trainer Robo Tough. One of the stores here sells SCRTC gear, and I need a training dummy."

"All right, that's reasonable," Akane admitted. "But Voidlon, why did you get a DeadGear?"

"To help out around the house and with fashion modeling," Voidlon explained, dragging along a recolor of Another Cross-Z that's colored cobalt blue and lime green.

Akane froze.

"…You make a good point," she admitted.

"It's too bad they only give out one DeadGear per customer," Sapphire complained, pushing a very large cart containing not only her newly purchased android's box (this one of a recolor of Another Mach to white and magenta) but a massive pile of art equipment and Kamen Rider memorabilia, though there was a bit more of the latter than the former, and Ice Bear was carrying several extra bags filled with even more goodies. "I could use more assistance in the ship's lab and art museum… Still, this is a good start."

"Please don't blow up the house," Akane pleaded before turning to Coco and Hibiki, who were happily leafing through several binders full of cards. "Do you really need all those cards?"

Hibiki nodded eagerly. "Absolutely! Some of these are incredibly rare and expensive, and others aren't even in print anymore! Normally I couldn't even begin to dream about getting even one of these, but since President Aruto gave us more or less carte blanche…"

"We are taking as much as we want!" Coco said gleefully. "Oh, we're going to pwn so many noobs with these…"

"Isn't it kind of unfair that if you have enough money you can just buy the best cards to win any match instead of actually requiring any skill?" Mera wondered.

"It's about as fair as how in the anime the protagonists conveniently draw whatever card they need to win the game just when they need it most," Kanade pointed out. "Even if the card didn't exist in their deck before. Sometimes they literally generate it from thin air."

"You've been paying attention!" Hibiki gasped joyfully.

Kanade sighed. "You talk about it all the time, some of it rubbed off on me."

Johnathan shook his head and tsked. "Ah, youth. Kids, you need to learn that while all these fancy goodies may seem like the most important thing in the world, they can't give you lasting happiness."

"Dad, you're holding an electric guitar," Yuina pointed out.

"Yes, I am," Johnathan confirmed.

"Do you even know how to play one?" Kanade asked skeptically.

"No, but I've always wanted to learn!"

"Aren't you going to get anything, Giff?" Mera asked Giff.

"I haven't seen much that really appeals to me," he said. "I've never been one for material possessions. All of these things are just… Things. They do not provide sustenance, and while they can entertain, it seems fleeting and ultimately pointless, a sentiment I am certain Azuma agrees with, seeing as how he has been living as a hermit for the last 50 years."

Azuma cleared his throat, and Giff was astonished to see he was carrying numerous bags, many of which were filled with clothing and other comfort items. "Azuma?! But I thought-"

"Lord Giff, you are correct, I have spent the last 50 years as a hermit, without any possessions," Azuma confirmed. "And do you know what I've learned?"

"No, what?"

"It's HELL ON EARTH," Azuma shouted. "I'm done with that lifestyle! In my opinion, just about everyone who claims to be an ascetic is nothing more than an arrogant and pretentious snob looking down on everyone else for not being as 'enlightened' as they are while hypocritically mooching off of everyone else so they don't have to lift a finger to support themselves!"

In his very nice house, Shinichi Saruhara sneezed.

"While you are correct that objects are indeed just things, my Lord, that doesn't mean they can't give you happiness," Azuma continued. "Desire is a fundamental part of human existence, and there's nothing wrong with it. Desire is what drives us to better ourselves, to reach forward, to strive for better futures. There's nothing inherently evil with greed, so long as it's in moderation."

"Which was basically the entire theme of Kamen Rider OOO's adventures!" Satsuki quipped.

"And aside from that, there's another reason to get things, even if they aren't practical or necessary," Minami added.

"And what's that?" A fascinated Giff inquired.

"They're mementos. They can be reminders of an important time in your life," Minami explained. "Most of the stuff we're getting, yeah, it's basically consumer junk we don't really need, but it's not just that. When we look at them, when we use them, we remember this day, when we had a great time at our favorite amusement park, as a family. And those memories… They can last a lifetime, and give us strength in trying times. So… So even if you forget them, they're still proof that… That it happened. That you were there. That no matter what's going on now, there was a time when… You were happy."

Oh.

He hadn't looked at it that way.

And… Of course Ikki would be thinking about the importance of memory, given how much of his own he was losing.

Was he afraid that eventually he might forget this day as well?

"… You know, I think I'll take another look at the stores," Giff announced. "Maybe I wasn't looking hard enough. Would you all help me find something that speaks to me?"

He was elated when pretty much everyone agreed to help him.

"I bet I could find you some jewelry that'll really make you look…er… Well, some jewelry that'll suit you, anyway," Zinnia said enthusiastically. "I mean, I know a thing or two about jewelry, should be self-evident!"

"Me too!" Ampaz realized.

"Why is it self-evident?" Giff asked in confusion.

She laughed. "Because I'm teal-pink, of course!"

Ampaz laughed as well. "Because I'm yellow-orange, of course!"

When nobody else laughed with her, she gave everyone confused looks. "… I'm a yellow-orange Pythonian. That means I'm a jeweler."

"And I'm a teal-pink Drakonian, it means I'm a jeweler."

When nobody else laughed with her, she gave everyone confused looks. "…What?"

"What does your color have to do with your job?" Asked the bewildered Cyclonis.

[huh?]

[what does this have to do with anything?]

She gave her a dumbfounded look, then smacked her forehead. "Oh! Right! Humans! And other. In my species and like the Pythonians, our color determines what job we're most likely to be good at. We don't HAVE to stick to that job, but most tend to."

"Ohhhhhhhh," everyone said.

"That sounds like a potential breeding ground for a truly horrific racist and classist society," Namakelder commented.

Ampaz shrugged. "Actually no, we're pretty satisfied with things the way they are? It always confuses us when we see other species discriminate within themselves based on cosmetic differences, though, that's not a thing we do. Nobody looks down on anyone else due to their color and position in society. After all, it takes a lot of colors to make up a rainbow, and if you remove even one, the whole thing shines less brilliantly!"

"That's an interesting way of looking at it," Kanade remarked.

"Rainbows are pretty!" Hibiki gushed.

"And totally gay," Mera teased Minami, causing her to blush.

"Well, I hope that you can help me to shine more brilliantly," Giff told her. "And… The same goes for all of you as well," he said, addressing his family. "I think… I think that I've been a single stripe for far too long, but it's only now… Being here today, with all of you… I think I might be on the verge of finding my rainbow."

Everyone softened at this.

Elsewhere, Akira Nijino sneezed.

"Everyone, once we're finished shopping for Giff, I think we should think about going home," Akane announced. "It's getting late, and I don't know about the rest of you, but I could use a nice long bath to relax after everything we've been through today."

There were quite a few nods and murmurs of assent to this.

"THIS IS GREAT!" Ruby said, as she had never been so comfortable.

She hadn't had cookies, cartoons and time to just act like she was a kid again in a while. Everyone here was having a great time, which was weird considering how they pretty much swe through the fall of Beacon and the whole world when they saw Yuina's phone. They watched up to Volume 9's finale. They couldn't believe they had gotten so much information about the future. Everyone had calmed down though since Pyrrha's death.

Mystle showed Weiss the rock music of this world besides Within Temptation. To think that there was a whole new world of music she never knew about, it was absolutely amazing. Blake however had mixed feelings about this world. She had been reading and watching history documentaries, and she was disappointed and horrified to learn that this world has as much of a bloody history as theirs. Granted the thing that shocked her was that there were no faunus in this world, but there was something similar in Zyumans, they even had their own laws and society, even had insect Zyumans.

---

Olteca, Daiji, Akaishi, Megafin, Birch, Kronos, Calamity, Ink Blotch, Circe, Erxkadnmlae, Zora, Yoomtah, Killia, Nabnab, Light, Ryuk and Ruru approached the front gates to Hiden Land, only for a security guard Gridlocked to block their path. "I'm sorry, but there's no entry allowed without a ticket."

"We don't have time for tickets," Akaishi barked. "If we don't go into your park at once and locate Giff, it might spell the doom of human civilization!"

"President Aruto and Lady Izu are on the premises, and if any apocalyptic threat presents itself, I'm confident they can handle it," the guard assured them.

"They can't!" Akaishi insisted.

"Actually, I've heard they're pretty strong, one of Japan's most powerful literal power couples," Ruru commented.

Akaishi ignored her.

"Guys, look, let's just buy some tickets, there's no way we can force our way through, security here is pretty tight since Hiden Land is one of Aruto Hiden's favorite properties and they're constantly on guard for potential incursions from any Muse fanatics," a weary Light suggested.

"A malfunctioning PC cannot possibly match the danger Lord Giff presents to the world," Akaishi said dismissively. "Or his chosen acolyte."

The guard narrowed his eyes. "Is that a threat?"

"That depends. Are you going to let me through?" Akaishi asked menacingly.

The guard didn't respond.

Scoffing, Akaishi tried to push past him-

The guard grabbed him by the shoulder, flipped him through the air, and slammed him facedown to the pavement hard enough to crack it, folding an arm behind his back and planting an elbow against his spine to pin him in place with his several hundred pound metal body. "I'm sorry, Sir, but there's no entry allowed without a ticket."

Daiji, Light and Ryuk's jaws dropped. The rest burst into laughter.

"On second thought," Akaishi's muffled voice said through the cracked concrete. "I think I'll buy a ticket."

The guard let him up, and after the flustered and humiliated Ramut and Akaishi straightened their jackets and hair, he marched over to the ticket booth. "17 tickets, please, 5 adults, 9 teens, and 2 seniors."

"Certainly… Oh! Hello, Light! Hello, Daiji!" The attendant said, her eyes lighting up when she saw Light. "Light, it's been approximately 17 weeks since your family showed up! And Daiji, I was hoping you would show up!"

"You were?" He asked, startled.

The Gridlocked nodded and slid a ticket across the counter to him. "Yes, your mother paid for your ticket and left it here in case you showed up. She'll be so happy to see you!"

Daiji stared at her blankly. "She… She paid for my ticket?" He asked softly. "She thought… She thought I'd show up?"

Olteca laughed incredulously. "She did? Seriously?! Wow! Definitely didn't see that coming. Well hey, at least this means we don't have to pay full price!"

"Indeed," Akaishi said as he swiped his credit card and received twenty two tickets. "Her sentimentality has certainly saved us a little money. Come, Daiji. Let's go get Lord Giff back and teach your family a lesson, yes?"

Daiji stared at his ticket, fingers trembling, vision blurring.

His mother still believed in him.

"Daiji!"

"What? Oh, right, coming," Daiji sniffed, wiping his eyes and trying to ignore how Olteca sneered at him and even Akaishi looked somewhat annoyed.

It didn't matter what his mother thought. He'd made his choice.

There was no turning back now.

---

The Zea Wheel was probably one of the most famous and impressive attractions at Hiden Land. A towering Ferris wheel revolving around a central axis resembling the satellite goddess Herself, with cushioned, air-conditioned capsules that doubled as confessionals where devotees of the Church of the Divine Zero or people who just wanted to get something off their chest, something they didn't feel comfortable talking about with anyone else, could commune with the digital deity. More than a few passengers reported having a religious experience on the ride, and some wound up converting on the spot.

"After all," a general sentiment seemed to be, "It's one thing to pray to a God for guidance, and another for them to actually respond!"

Giff felt as if the central eye on the wheel was staring at him, and felt somewhat unnerved, as if the attraction was seeing right into his soul. (Did he have one of those?) Despite the fact that he was far older and much more powerful than Zea, he couldn't help feeling somewhat… Humbled before this colossal idol, made in the image of a relatively new goddess created by humans to serve humans with wisdom and compassion.

He wondered what She thought of him.

Would She approve of his actions, forgive him for his past transgressions, or condemn him for what he had done to Her creators long ago and relatively recently?

He glanced at the rest of his family (and tagalongs) who also seemed to be regarding the wheel with borderline reverence. This would be the last stop on their visit to Hiden Land. After that, everyone was going home, and while he had been invited to come with them – an invitation he fully intended to honor – after that, he wasn't sure now.

And that's when the screaming started, and the squad turned around.

"It's Megafin, Birch, Kronos, Calamity, Ink Blotch, Circe, Killia, Zora, Yoomtah and Erxkadnmlae!" Mera gasped.

"Akaishi!" Sakura gasped.

"And Daiji…" Ikki murmured unhappily.

"Is that Light Yagami, his emo clown teammate and a robot girl?" Satsuki asked.

"Wait, is that clown dead ass pulling the Hidden Statue? Guess we caught the crook red handed." Kanade snarked as she saw a lanky clown lifting the statue.

"And… Holy shit, Olteca is alive?!" A horrified Hajime cried. "I thought Giff ate him!"

"Oh, yeah, you missed that part, Giff said earlier that he and the other Deadmans executives were alive all along, Giff has just been feeding off of them in his pocket dimension," Satsuki explained.

"Really? That seems kind of contrived," Haijime complained.

"Oh, absolutely," Momoko agreed. "Though at least it provides a convenient excuse to bring back past villains thought to have been defeated!"

"Just tell us one thing," Akaishi snapped. "Where is Giff?!"

Indus reeled back, surprised. "Huh? Giff?"

"Yes! We know he's with you, he's literally right there! Do you have any idea the danger you've courted by bringing him here, to a place filled with so many innocent people?!" Light snapped.

"In our defense, every single one of those disasters was caused by some Hyde freak trying to screw with us," Mera protested.

"What about-" Uzi started.

"EVERY. SINGLE. ONE."

"Well, if I remember right, Hyde is a god of evil, and Giff eats evil energy, so maybe he was worried Giff might pose a threat to his power?" Olteca speculated.

Akaishi gave him an annoyed look. "It's just a mentally unstable man! No man, let alone machine, can surpass a god!"

"There is an entire religion that would argue otherwise," Amanojaku spoke up.

"Several, Zea isn't the only computer deity out there," Yuina added.

"And I am literally a god of redemption." Ark clarified.

"Daiji! You showed up after all!" Genta cried joyfully, making his wayward son flinch uncomfortably. "And… You brought friends. Not exactly ones we're happy to see, but, well, I suppose if you all want to hang out with us, maybe we can work something out-"

Ryuk threw up his hands in exasperation. "Whatever! It's a miracle you fools haven't done something to set Giff off and destroy this entire park! You must relinquish him immediately, before it is too late!"

"There have been numerous casualties already! You've put people's lives in danger by bringing him here! What were you thinking?!" Daiji demanded angrily.

Mera huffed. "Huh! Where does this guy get off, trying to ruin our day and calling us morons?"

Vice huffed. "Yeah! Who does he think he is?!"

"Kuzu," Lovekov agreed.

"Yeah! Wait, are you calling him a moron or me?" Vice asked anxiously.

Lovekov smiled at him.

Azuma frowned. "As unfortunate as it is, I suppose his presence makes sense… Given that Akaishi knows all too well what's happened previous times Giff attempted to pass himself off as human, he must have feared the worst when he realized Giff had set out to do so again…"

"But how would he even know Giff was with us?" A startled Voidlon wondered.

"Uh, social media?" Momoko suggested, waving her phone. "People have been posting pictures and videos of us all day."

"Also, I'm pretty sure mom sent Daiji multiple messages telling us where we would be today if he wanted to join us," Sakura murmured.

"Oh, right."

"Dammit, Mama Igarashi!" Vice cursed.

"Mother did the right thing," Daiji said. "Which is more than I can say for the rest of you!"

"Like you're one to talk! It's bad enough you're working with Akaishi, but now Olteca too?! After everything he's done?!" Sakura demanded furiously.

"The same could be said about you and Hana and Tamaki!" Daiji snapped back.

"Hey, Lady Hanna and I truly regret our actions and are trying to atone! Does Olteca regret anything?!" Tamaki demanded.

"Nope!" Olteca said cheerfully. "Well, I think so." Olteca added, deep in thought.

Everyone gave Daiji pointed looks, and he had the grace to look ashamed.

"Why does the mariachi man have grasshopper legs?" Mera asked Olteca.

"Giff-kun ate them, so Giff gave me new ones," Olteca explained.

"That freak of nature is still alive?!" Leo exclaimed.

"Giff thinks he's cute," Kronos muttered, looking embarrassed.

"Not as cute as me, love," Lovekov said smugly.

Everyone nodded in agreement at this.

"I think a better question might be why you have a gorilla and polar bear," Olteca commented. "And a snake girl. And robots. And… A hobo?"

"The gorilla is my new mother, Georgina," George said cheerfully.

"Ook."

"Ice Bear, Cyclonis' new father." Ice Bear said. "The drones are Enn, Jay, Vee and Uzi Doorman."

"I'm Tamaki's girlfriend," Ampaz insisted, clinging tightly to Tamaki.

"And I am no hobo, but Azuma, another immortal disciple of Giff who's been more or less retired for the last 80 years," Azuma declared.

Olteca stared. "… Tamaki has a girlfriend?!"

"That's the part you find hard to believe?!" Daiji cried in disbelief.

"No, he's right, I have trouble believing it either," Tamaki admitted.

Akaishi's jaw dropped. "Azuma… Is that really you?! I almost didn't recognize you under the beard… And the clothes… And the…" With a distasteful look on his face, he gestured at Azuma's entire being. "What are you doing here?! After World War II, you claimed you had given up on humanity!"

Azuma shrugged. "I got bored. Did you know, I had no idea until this day Lord Giff was back? And that you apparently didn't tell him about me? Or the war? Or the one before it?" He narrowed his eyes. "What else haven't you told him?"

Akaishi turned red, flustered. "I… I am only acting in Lord Giff's best interests, and that of humanity!"

"For some reason, I'm not convinced," Azuma murmured. "I think I've been gone for too long. I think, perhaps, it's time I returned to my place at our master's side… And make sure someone trustworthy has his ear."

"Ohhhh, you got burned!" Vice whooped.

"I don't understand, who is this guy and what's he talking about?" a confused Daiji asked.

"Not now!" Akaishi snapped. "Look, Azuma, whatever problem you might have with me, it can wait until we've safely secured Lord Giff! You know as well as I do how dangerous he is if left unchecked! Help me get him away from here before it's too late!" He pointed at the Igarashi family. "I don't know how long you've been with them, but surely you must know where he is! And if not, it's your duty to make them talk! Or does your oath of service to our master mean nothing to you? Did you forsake that as well when you ran away?"

"Have you all lost it?!" Akaishi demanded. "You should be working with me on this! Neither of us wants to see Giff destroy humanity! We need to get him out of here to protect everyone!"

"Are you truly that worried our Lord will hurt people, old friend?" Azuma pushed. "Or are you more concerned that he will see there is more to the world and its people than you have led him to believe? More, perhaps, then you yourself think?"

"… Are you even listening to yourself?! You're the one who gave up on humanity, remember?!" Akaishi shouted.

"And I'm willing to admit that may have been a mistake. Are you willing to do the same?" Azuma replied.

"Even bigger burn!" Vice chortled.

"… Enough of this!" Akaishi snapped. "If you will not give us Lord Giff, then we shall simply take him ourselves, even if it means tearing down this entire park to do so!"

Genta glared at Daiji. "You hear that, son? He's threatening to do the exact same thing he seemed to be worried Giff would do. Are you sure that's the sort of man you want to keep following?"

Daiji faltered. "I-"

"You're really going to help him, Daiji? This park holds so many great memories for our family! How can you continue to stand at his side as he threatens that?!" Ikki demanded.

Daiji clenched his fist, trembling. "This… This is on your heads! You're the ones who brought Giff here in the first place! You're the ones who put everyone here in danger!"

Sakura shook her head in disgust. "Looks like he needs another dose of tough love."

"Kuzu," Lovekov sneered.

"Okay, that time I knew you were talking about him!" Vice said in relief.

"And do you really think this is going to go any differently than the last several times we've fought you?" Zap snarked. "We still have you beat in numbers and power! And bringing that Olteca freak show to help is just going to make us even more inclined to cream you!"

Olteca grinned. "Oh, but water dragon, what makes you think I'm the only former Deadmans executive here?"

Olteca snapped his fingers, and a portal to Giff's dimension opened. Three men stepped through.

Three familiar men.

Vice gasped. "It's Yasushi Kudo!"

"And Amahiko Haitani!" Sakura spat in disgust.

"And…um…" Tamaki frowned, staring at the man wearing the face of Yujiro Wakabayashi. "Lady Hana, what was the real name of the Chameleon Deadman again? I'm drawing a blank."

"It was…uh…" Hana blinked. "I, uh, I don't remember either. Sorry, this is kind of embarrassing… Did we ever actually learn his real name?"

"My old name means nothing," the unnamed man sneered. "I am the Chameleon Deadman, and that is all that matters!"

Just then, two metal rods stabbed through Vee's arms, keeping her in place, as Doll started walking towards the squad. A normal Gridlocked was crushed by the Absolute Solver, her body crumpling under the weight of the massive force.

Doll slowly advanced towards Vee, a twisted smile on her face. "Привет, Ви," she said in a cold, calculated tone. The words translated to "Hello, Vee." And they sent a shiver down Vee's spine.

Doll then used her telekinetic powers to force Vee to relive the moment when she had killed Doll's mother when Vee dragged her through the window into the ship. "Ладно, тебе всё понятно." She said in a vengeful tone. The words meant: "Anyway, you get it." And they were filled with a deep sense of anger and hatred.

Genta gave Daiji a disappointed look. "And now you're going to work with these madmen too?! After all the time you spent fighting them?"

Daiji looked away, ashamed.

"It's been a long time, Sakura Igarashi. I'm ready to settle the score!" Amahiko declared.

"I'll make you pay for what you did to me, Ikki!" Yasushi snarled.

Ikki stared at him blankly. "I'm… I'm sorry, who are you again?"

Yasushi stared in disbelief. "I'm… I'm Yasushi Kudo. Your nemesis! You exposed me as a fraud? I made you second guess yourself by pointing out your hypocrisy? I became the Saber Tiger Deadman?!"

Ikki paled, realizing everyone was giving him confused and alarmed looks. "Um…uhhhhh…"

Laughing a little too loudly, Vice wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "His nemesis? Please, don't flatter yourself! Ikki's fought so many guys bigger and worse than you, you can't possibly expect him to remember a small fry like you!"

"S-small fry?!" Yasushi shrieked.

"Don't let him get to you, Kudo," Akaishi sniffed, adjusting his jacket. "You have all become stronger, due to all the months you've spent immersed in Giff's domain. The Igarashi family will not defeat you as easily as they did in the past!"

"It's cute that you think that," Vice jeered. "Ikki, let's show them how much stronger we've gotten!"

Ikki nodded, producing the Giffard Rex Vistamp and breathing on it. "Right! I'm feeling it now!"

Hana gave Sakura a worried look as she produced the God Dragon Vistamp Vistamp. "Sakura, are you sure?"

Sakura hesitated, then took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah. Even if I lose my humanity… So long as I have you and Lovekov and everyone else at my side… Then it'll be okay."

Then, the X-Squad, along with their new allies, got into battle stances.

Then, Yuina, Hime, Ikki, Sakura, Hana and Genta strapped on their Drivers and primed their Vistamps and Ridewatch.

ARK ZIKU-DRIVER!

PRECHANMIRROR DRIVER!

REVICE DRIVER!

LIBERA DRIVER!

DESTREAM DRIVER!

WEEK ENDRIVER!

ARK RIDEWATCH!

PRINCESS ADVENT CARD!

GIFFARD REX!

GOD DRAGON!

HERCULES!

QUEEN BEE!

"HENSHIN!"

DEVIL TIME! KAMEN RIDER~! ZINNER!

ROYAL TIME! KAMEN RIDER~! PRINCESS!

COME ON! ULTIMATE UP! OVERFLOWING HOT PASSION! WHAT IN THE DEVIL? THE TWO OF US ARE EQUAL! THE UNIVERSE'S POWER IS ETERNAL! KAMEN RIDER! REVI! VICE! LET'S GO! COME ON! GIFFA! GIFFA! GIFFARD REX!

WHAT'S COMING UP? GOD UP! DRAGON UP! WOW! THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO HEAVEN! KAMEN! RIDER! ARC! JA! JA! JA! JA! JA! JA! JA! JA! ARC JEANNE!

SPIRIT UP! SLASH! STING! SPIRAL! STRONG! KAMEN RIDER DESTREAM!

SUBVERT UP! WOW! JUST BELIEVE IN MYSELF! KAMEN RIDER! AH~! AGUILERA!

Ampaz gasped in amazement and George laughed and clapped his hands like a child. "This is gonna be great!"

"So this is the form the heroes of this age have taken…" Azuma murmured, impressed.

"Spectacular, aren't they?" Astarte agreed, winking at Lovekov, who giggled and blew a kiss at her.

Doll glared at Uzi with intense scrutiny, her eyes burning with a fierce anger. "Узи, ты правда на стороне Дронов-Убийц?" She spat, her voice laced with venom, which translated to: "Uzi, you would really side with the Murder Gridlocked?"

Doll then added, "Я не единственная, кто потеряла из-за них семью." Which translated to: "I'm not the only one who's lost family to them."

Uzi stood her ground, her fists clenched tightly at her sides. "Bite me!" she retorted, her voice ringing out with a defiant tone. "I'm not dealing with anything well, but I'm done dealing with everything alone."

Enn, Jay and Vee shared a soft smile, silently conveying their agreement with Uzi's sentiment. "We move forward together, or not at all," Uzi continued, her gaze flickering between her companions.

Doll sneered, a look of derision on her face. "Как мило, но мне твоя помощь не нужна." She replied coldly, the Russian words dripping with disdain. "Cute, but I don't need help."

"And my name is Joey Mama, a glorious servant of Carmen Sandiego, just here to steal this statue and put on a show at the same time." Joey said, putting the statue in a comically small bag.

Yasushi and Amahiko balked. "Uh… Wow. Okay. They, uh, they all look a lot stronger than I expected."

"Can we actually do this?" Amahiko wondered uneasily.

"Of course you can, all of you have become strong enough you're practically Phase 5 Deadmans by now!" Akaishi insisted.

"Is that actually a thing?" The Chameleon Deadman wondered.

"It is now!" He nodded at Daiji. "Lead them off! Transform!"

"Daiji… Please, don't," Ikki pleaded. "You know this is wrong!"

Daiji hesitated.

TWO SIDRIVER!

"I'll decide between right and wrong," he said solemnly.

HOLY WING!

WING UP! HOLY UP! WIND! WING! WINNING! HOLY! HOLY! HOLY! HOLY! HOLY LIVE!

SABERTIGER!

PLANARIAN!

CHAMELEON!

Daiji transformed into Holy Live while the Deadmans executives all transformed into their monster forms, the villains got into battle stances, and Akaishi changed into his Giffdemos state and Erxkadnmlae stared at an arcade machine. "Awaken, Rockbat." He said, sending an Rockbat towards a bunch of Notes in the arcade machine showing Street Fighter, and the screen for the game was enveloped in a dragon that ate the machine. Then, it started to manifest a Jakumori, but this one seemed, different, it has no sort of the monstrous body of a Jakumori. But rather it seemed as if Vega leapt out of the game and into the real world.

"I find your suffering... exquisite." Vega said.

Olteca grinned, producing two handfuls of Giff Junior Vistamps, and stamped them on the ground.

JUNIOR!

Dozens of Giff Juniors manifested from geoglyphs along with Fanglars, Feargulls, Clurkrahnnas, Elfwolves, Stooges, Wildclaws, Medicinals, Smashers, Scopers, Dough-Goos, Zakennas, Uzainas, Kowainas, Hoshiinas, Nakewamekes, Desertrians, Negatones, Buffoons, Distains, Saiarks, Zetsuborgs, Yokubaaru, Nendos, Oshimaidas, Nottoreis, Megabyogens, Yaraneedas, Ranborgs, Zolders, Crimers, Cutmen, Dustlers, Machinemen, Spotmen, Tail Soldiers, Mechaclones, Hidrer Soldiers, Zolohs, Ungler Soldiers, Jimmers, Ular Soldiers, Batzler Soldiers, Grinam Soldiers, Putties, Tenga Warriors, Cotpotros, Dorodoros, Cogs, Chromites, Pirahnatrons, Craterites, Quantrons, Stingwingers, Swabbies, Tyrannodrones, Triptoids, Batlings, Cyclobots, Putrids, Kelzaks, Krybots, Hidiacs, Chillers, Lava Lizards, Rinshis, Marauders, Spitfangs, Zombatants, Threshers, Trenters, Vivix, Vigorx, Kuros, Pordermen, Indavers, Moebas, Hengemen, Bechats, Kudakks, Anonis, Sanagims, Raydragoons, Leo Soldiers, Fanghouls, Riotroopers, Darkroachis, Salis Worms, Byakkos, Masquerade Dopants, Kuzu Yummies, Ghouls, Plain Roidmudes, Dustards, Gamma Commandos, Kurokage Troopers, Paraxis, Bugster Viruses, Elementary Inves, Guardian Bots, Dodo Magia Chicks, Shimis, Jyamaoto Riders and Bikrows and it was about that time the nearby parkgoers realized this might be a good time to start running and screaming.

[you have alerted the horde]

[here they come…]

Startled, Daiji glared at Olteca. "Olteca! Why?!"

"Hey, the park's a big place, we're going to need some help capturing Lord Giff in all this, don't you think?" He jeered. "And if a few people get hurt and a few rides get destroyed, oh well. Natural selection took its course."

Light trembled with rage. "You…"

"Olteca! This time we're going to make sure you die!" Satsuki snapped.

"You can try," Olteca taunted.

"Tamaki, get Ampaz and Giff out of here!" Ikki ordered. "You too, George!"

"But I want to see the fight!" George protested.

"NOW!"

"Okay, fine, I guess I can watch from a safe distance," he grumbled as Georgina picked him up and loped away, Tamaki and Ampaz hurrying after him as Giff carried Akane, Johnathan and Yukumi away.

"Astarte, Iona, Hime, Azuma, Aguilera, help keep the civilians safe," Sakura commanded.

"You can count on us," the ancient demon promised, Azuma, Iona, Hime and Aguilera nodding in agreement.

"Azuma! This is treason!" Akaishi shouted.

"Treason? No. Lord Giff has grown fond of this place, and would not want anyone to get hurt, so I am merely enforcing his will," Azuma insisted. "If anything, you're the traitor, for acting in such a brazen and disreputable manner without his approval. We'll see which of us he thinks is in the right when he returns."

Then, Mera turned around and gawked at what she saw. Two kids had just stepped out of a portal that disappeared behind them. Odie yelped in alarm. One of them was a young woman, who looked around eighteen or nineteen, with striking red hair. The other was a slightly younger teenage boy with spiky blond hair. The girl turned to the boy and facepalmed. "Zack, if you hadn't spent so much time getting your gadgets, we could have been here sooner!" She snapped. Zack threw up his hands. "Hey, Ivy, at least the C-5 got us right where we needed to be this time and not a block away… or in the ocean!" Zack retorted

Ivy looked away from him and toward where the Statue of Hiden should be. "Only the Statue of Hiden is gone!"

"Brilliant, Holmes," snarked Mera, who had gained the ability to speak again.

Behind them, unnoticed by them or any of the dispersing civilians, a small object was lowered to the ground on a string, seemingly from nowhere. It appeared to be a miniscule building. It was apparently a model of some sort.

Ivy was the first to notice. She pointed at it and said "Look!" to Zack. The others all turned and looked at it. "It's a Carmen Clue!" exclaimed Ivy, while Mera looked up and around. "Where's that string coming from?" Mera asked Zack took a closer look at it and said "It looks like… a model of Hiden Intelligence!"

Akaishi growled, and Yasushi stepped forward. "Enough of this! Ikki, I'll make you remember me!"

"Sakura! This will be our last battle!" Amahiko declared.

"Zinner! I… Actually don't have any strong feelings one way or the other towards you, but I guess I'll be your opponent," the Chameleon decided.

"I'd rather fight Olteca, but if I have to get to you to do so, that's fine with me!" Yuina decided, brandishing her sword.

"Guess that leaves Akaishi and the rest to me," Genta said cracking his knuckles. "Igarashi family, and X-Squad! Let's do this!"

"YEAH!" All the Riders cheered, racing towards their enemies.

"If you'll excuse me, I have a plane to catch, and Carmen would very much prefer that I'm on time." Joey said, dropping a small marble to the ground, which shattered and summoned Vilelings, that rushed throughout Hiden Land as he ran off, Zack, Ivy, Roman, and Esdeath on his trail.

"Wait!" Roman called to Zack and Ivy. "Who are you?"

"We're agents from A.C.M.E. Detective Agency. Our whole job is to try and stop Carmen Sandiego from stealing artifacts." Ivy explained.

"What about the people that Joey guy sent those Vilelings after?" Esdeath asked. "Are those things willing to kill?"

Ivy and Zack looked at each other. "Maybe not. Carmen usually doesn't hurt anything, people or animals." Zach explained. "Her henchman, on the other hand, might be… Anyway, the only way we can get the statue back is by catching up with Joey. Come on, Ivy!"

George, recording everything on his phone from over Georgina's shoulder, was breathing heavily, glasses fogging up. "So cool."

And unbeknownst to all of them, the eye in the center of the Zea Wheel gleamed, the intelligence behind it observing with interest as it alerted those it had put its faith in about the events transpiring before it.

---

BGM: Scoring The Ending of The World (Motionless in White)

Chaos ensued as the minions spread throughout Hiden Land, attacking everything in sight. Many of the employees, both Gridlocked and human alike, valiantly put their lives on the line to help their coworkers and civilians escape. The mascots, the ones wearing suits resembling the various forms of Zero-One or his companion Riders, were the most effective, along with the Mamoru-class security androids, fighting so effectively one could easily be mistaken for thinking they were none other than President Aruto himself, somehow split into his multiple guises.

Several Rider and Lost Models had materialized as well, some guiding terrified parkgoers safety, others viciously engaging the monsters in battle.

Not everyone was able to escape so easily, though.

A sobbing woman and her child, cornered near the carousel, desperately looked up at the nearby sign of Isamu Fuwa pointing out the rules of the ride. "Please… Somebody… Save us!"

She held her son tight and closed her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks as the ferocious monsters moved in…

And so failed to notice a beam of light shooting from the center of the Zea Wheel and striking the sign, which started glowing.

PROGRISE! REGISTRATION! VULCAN COMPANY LIMITED! LONE WOLF! IT'S MY RULE!

There was the sound of several gunshots, then bodies hitting the floor.

Tentatively, the woman opened her eyes to see she was surrounded by several henchman corpses…

And standing protectively over her was the translucent figure of Kamen Rider Vulcan Lone Wolf, holding a smoking ShotRiser.

She thought she could hear a wolf howling.

"Y-you…" She stammered. "You're… You're St. Fuwa!"

The ghost paid no attention to her and walked off, ShotRiser in hand. There were lots of other people in danger, and he couldn't rest until they were all safe.

It was his rule.

---

In another corner of the park, over a dozen children were screaming in terror, trapped inside the Subaru Rocket, which was being shaken violently as the henchmen tried to force their way inside. Numerous dents had already formed in the door, and the monsters had already torn gashes in the hull, allowing the passengers frightening glimpses of the ravenous monsters outside.

"Mr. Subaru, save us!" One child shouted at the hologram of Subaru Uchuyaro who served as the ride's navigator and educational host, teaching passengers about the wonders of space, the history of spaceflight, and Hiden Intelligence's space program.

"I'll get my brother," the hologram promised, blinking out of existence.

The child blinked. "Your brother?"

"He left us! We're all gonna die!" Another kid screamed, setting everyone off again.

Had any of them looked out the window – not that they would have been able to see much, given they were mostly blocked by Yokubaarus – they might have seen four beams of light streaking out from the Zea Wheel.

Moments later, the door caved in with a crash, and everyone screamed in terror as half a dozen monsters stormed inside-

PROGRISE! CONNECTION! (CONNECTION!) COMPLETE! METSUBOUJINRAI! QUARTET WITH UNIFIED WILL!

There was the sound of metal slicing through flesh, and suddenly all of the demons were bisected, falling to the ground in pieces and revealing a spectral purple figure wielding a katana.

"These monsters will be extinct!" Kamen Rider MetsubouJinrai proclaimed.

---

A group of civilians, guided by mascots dressed as all of Zero-One's base forms except for Rising Hopper, made it into the Plaza just before the front gates. The parkgoers sighed in relief, seeing escape was at hand.

And that's when a dozen of each minion rushed into view, blocking the path to the exit.

Civilians screamed. The mascots tried to urge them back, only for more monsters to appear at all the other paths leading away from the Plaza, blocking them in. The HumaGears fanned out in a circle to protect their terrified charges as they gathered up around the statue of the Hiden family at the center, the demons slowly approaching…

And then a beam of light struck the statue of Soreo Hiden.

CYCLONERISE! ROCKING HOPPER! TYPE-1.

An armored figure flipped through the air, landing before the frightened group and their defenders, startling the demon horde.

"A Kamen Rider fights… So that everyone can leap towards their dreams!" The spirit of Kamen Rider Type-1 declared, eyes and muffler glowing.

---

"How's it look?" Aruto asked, glaring angrily out at the park, or rather specifically, at the monsters besieging the replica of Hiden Intelligence headquarters, from the replica of his office.

"Evacuation measures are proceeding accordingly. While our drills were geared more towards attacks from the Ark, our employees have been trained well and are doing everything they can to get as many people out of the park, or, failing that, to shelters as possible," Izu reported, ear modules buzzing. "Casualties are within an acceptable range, and they have returned to help out."

"Good," Aruto replied. "Not the casualty thing, I don't consider any casualties to be acceptable unless it's just loss of property, but that they're back. Hope I get a chance to talk to them before it's over… Any word on reinforcements?"

"A. I. M. S. has been contacted, and Yaiba's unit is en route. It may take them some time to get here, however," Izu informed him.

"Which means we should go out there and do our best to help out," Aruto concluded.

She smiled at him. "Precisely."

"Who's responsible for this? It's not Giff, is it? He seemed weirdly trustworthy," Aruto asked, pressing a button and causing the large window behind his replica desk to slide open, exposing them to the elements.

"He has nothing to do with this. A general of Dark Velocity, Erxkadnmlae, entered the park and accosted Yuina Akagawa and allies, who refused to give up Giff, resulting in a fight," Izu told him. "He also summoned reinforcements of his own, none of whom paid for admission."

Aruto scowled. "They didn't buy tickets? Well, we can't have that, now can we? We better catch up to them and make them pay!" He struck a pose. "And that's how you know it's an Aruto!"

Out in the park, the spirit of Vulcan felt an instinctive urge to laugh.

"Sigh," Izu said out loud, hiding a smile.

"You knew what you were getting into when you married me!" Aruto joked, extending a hand. "Shall we?"

She took it. "Always."

Together, the two of them jumped out the window.

As they plummeted in freefall, the Zea Wheel fired two beams of light at them. One struck Aruto around the waist, causing a belt to form around it.

ZERO-TWO DRIVER!

ZERO-TWO JUMP!

"HENSHIN!"

ZERO-TWO RISE! ROAD TO GLORY HAS TO LEAD TO GROWIN' PATH TO CHANGE ONE TO TWO! KAMEN RIDER ZERO-TWO! IT'S NEVER OVER.

As Aruto transformed into Kamen Rider Zero-Two, Izu's entire body was lit up by the beam which struck her, making her look even more divine. The light eventually coalesced around her waist, transforming into a belt resembling Zea as a satellite, but more streamlined, white in coloration with teal lines and circuit patterns covering the casing.

ZEA-RO DRIVER!

A compartment extended from both of her ear modules, a ProgRise key popping out of each one and landing in her hands. One of them resembled the Zero-Two ProgRise key, only white and teal and labeled Dreaming Hopper, while the other looked like a HumaGear ProgRise key, only much more sparkly, showing Izu's profile with a butterfly -shaped ribbon over it and was labeled Evolving Izu.

PARADISE!

TRANSCEND!

Izu slid both ProgRise keys into slots on either side of her Driver, causing the lines to start glowing in a rainbow hue and the "eye" in the center to light up. "Henshin!"

Three beams of light shot out from her Driver's eye, creating a massive rainbow-colored energy construct of Zea with tiny Rider and Lost Models orbiting it and two smaller constructs, one a white and teal grasshopper and the other a similarly colored butterfly. The satellite construct passed over her body, causing Izu to be clad in a very tight formfitting teal bodysuit which emphasized every last one of her curves, her face covered by a blank plate, while the tiny Rider and Lost Models floated at her sides. The grasshopper and butterfly Rider Models came apart, their components firing DNA-shaped beams at her body which printed armor over the bodysuit, using themselves up in the process, while the tiny Models crystallized and attached themselves to her limbs.

HOLYRISE! A RIDER KICK TO THE SKY TURNS TO WAKE UP TO A DREAM OF THE PROMISED UTOPIA! KAMEN RIDER ZEA-RO! THE DREAM IS NEVER ENDING! IT'S JUST BEGINNING.

White armor with teal and prismatic highlights now covered her body. Her boots had glowing crystals shaped like butterfly wings on their tops, with similar butterfly crystals on her knees and hips. Spines resembling those of a grasshopper's legs grew from the sides of her shins and thighs, each a different color and having the semblance of an animal from either a ProgRise or Zetsumerise key carved in it. Her chest armor had a unit similar to the eye of Zea embedded in the center of a large mass of crystalline circuits shaped like a butterfly. Teal gloves covered her hands, with more butterfly crystals set into the back of her knuckles. More colored spines with animals carved into them grew from the sides of her arms, and multicolored lines stretched from the base of each spike through grooves on the surface of her armor to connect to the crystalline mass on her chest. Iridescent wings shaped like the solar panels Zea used to have back when it was a satellite grew from her back, carvings of every animal from a ProgRise or Zetsumerise key etched into their surfaces. A teal muffler resembling her signature ribbon grew from the side of her neck, patterned like a butterfly, and her face plate was white with teal eyes with lines carved into their surface to look as if they were closed in slumber, a small butterfly-shaped crystal set into her forehead between a pair of butterfly antenna. Her ear modules were still visible in this form, but had wings similar to the ones on her back, and a halo similar to Zea's ring was placed behind her head.

The two Riders hit the ground with an impact great enough to send all of the surrounding Giff Juniors flying and created a crater resembling 0-2 and the Zea satellite. The duo rose from their superhero landing, posing dramatically as their eyes and mufflers glowed, instinctively reaching out to grab each other's hands as they pointed dramatically at the demons.

"There's only one couple that can stop you…" Aruto began.

"And that's us!" Izu finished.

The minions exchanged worried looks, getting the sudden impression they were utterly screwed.

They were absolutely right.

---

"You will remember my name, Ikki Igasaki!" Yasushi roared, dashing at Neo, Ikki and Vice at extreme speeds, the fangs on his arm glowing as he prepared to slash them. "I will carve it into your heart if I need to!"

"Cool story, bro! Not happening!"

Yasushi started as Ikki and Vice casually stepped to the side to avoid his attack, then shot past him in streaks of red and blue. Moments later, his fangs shattered. "What?!"

Vice laughed. "Isn't it obvious? The two of us have gotten so powerful you aren't even a threat to us anymore! And I'm pretty sure Neo is built different!"

"No! I refuse to believe that!" Yasushi snarled as his fangs regenerated. "After everything I've suffered, I shall have my revenge! With my new and more powerful body-"

"New? More powerful? Please!" Vice taunted. "You look exactly the same, except you're mostly red now and maybe have a few more fangs! You're nothing more than a Gaimdamn recolor! Even TAMAKI looked more threatening when he got a power up, and it's freaking Tamaki! No offense, Tamaki."

"No, that sounds about accurate," Tamaki shouted from the sidelines.

"I'm not the same! My power has increased by a thousand!" Yasushi declared, charging up his fangs again, which grew even longer and sharper.

"So, still weaker than us, then?" Neo teased.

"Hey now, don't be mean to him," Ikki lectured her. "It's not his fault his power up is such a letdown and he has such an uninspired and unoriginal design."

"Ha, nice!" Vice laughed, giving Ikki a high-five.

Roaring incoherently, Yasushi lashed out, flinging massive crimson energy blades from his arm fangs at the trio. Ikki and Vice raised their arms, crossing them between each other as Hime twirled her sword, and caught the blades on them, sparks flying and intense arcs of energy crackling over their bodies and scorching the ground.

They didn't look as if they were exerting any particular effort whatsoever.

They casually flicked their arms and umbrella to the side, causing the blades to explode on either side of them, revealing Yasushi inches away, arm fangs crackling with power, lunging at them.

In unison, Ikki and Vice's fists shot out, punching him in the stomach so hard his entire body folded on itself, a blast of red and blue energy shooting out of his back into the sky. As Yasushi was flung back, blood and saliva flying from his mouth, Hime spun about and hit him with a roundhouse kick which sent him flying, smashing him into a booth hard enough to cause it to collapse on him.

"Hey Ikki, he seems to really hate us. How do you think he'd feel about even more of us?" Ikki asked Vice.

Vice laughed. "Ha! I see where you're going!"

They removed their Vistamps and stamped them on the ground. The Revice emblem appeared, and from it two new Ultimate Revices spawned. The clones removed their Vistamps and stamped them on the ground at the same time the original pair stamped the ground again, creating two new sets of clones. Then those duplicates removed their Vistamps and stamped the ground at the same time as their progenitors, and so on, and so forth, until several dozen Revis and Vices were standing together.

Yasushi, who finally managed to extricate himself from the booth, stared at the mob for a minute, quivering in horror.

Then he shook his head. "No… There's no way you have an ability as overpowered is this! It's a trick, they're illusions, they have to be!"

Vice cackled malevolently. "Nope, all real!"

"He has a point, though, why don't you use this trick more often?" Neo signed, wondering where the hell did the clones come from.

"Budget!" George yelled from the sidelines. "… By which I mean it would use up too much of the Giffard Rex Vistamp's power if you overuse that ability and run the risk of significantly weakening your Ultimate forms, if not potentially draining all of its energy permanently."

"Oh, that makes sense," Ikki realized

"Yes, exactly that, and no other meaning," Vice agreed with in a side glance.

"I'll take you all out… As many times as necessary… Until you've been wiped from the face of the earth!" Yasushi roared, charging up his fangs.

"No, you!" Vice taunted.

All the Ikkis and all the Vices stamped their Vistamps on their Drivers.

REVICE/VICE GIFFARD FINISH!

All of the Riders leapt into the air, the Ikkis lower legs covered in magenta energy while the Vices legs were covered in cyan energy, and shot towards Yasushi in a flying kick, red rings of energy trailing behind the Ikkis while blue followed the Vices, their body surrounded by waves of alternating red and blue energy.

Roaring in fury, Yasushi generated an energy construct of a huge set of fangs which bit down on the Riders, attempting to chew them up.

The fangs shattered, the Riders striking Yasushi with their kicks, each clone pair exploding in waves of red and blue energy and cyan lightning on impact, his fangs shattering repeatedly as they struggled to regenerate only to be broken by the next attack. Finally, only a single pair were left, the original Ikki and Vice, and after landing their original kick they rebounded and kicked him again, streaking past him in the process.

The duo fist bumped as Yasushi cried out in pain, fell to his knees, and was enveloped in a red and blue explosion.

"Another one done and dusted!" Vice guffawed.

"I forgot his name again already," Ikki joked, and was promptly hit by Vice.

"Dude, not funny!" He hissed. "You're not… You're not serious, are you?"

"N-no, I was just-" Ikki stammered.

"I…KKIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Several red energy fangs shot out of the red and blue flames, the duo quickly bracing themselves and using their arms to block against the attack.

"This guy still isn't done?!" Vice complained as Yasushi limped out of the fire, gasping for breath, his fangs shattered, left arm hanging at his side. His body convulsed as he lurched towards them, clearly trying to regenerate, but the damage inflicted by the duo and their replicas was clearly too much to repair. "Well, no big deal, I think another Giffard Finish should end this-"

"Actually, I think at this point it might be overkill," Ikki observed. "Hey, seeing as we're currently in Hiden Land, and given how nice president Aruto was to us… How about we end it with this?" He asked, producing a new Vistamp. "You know, as a sign of respect!"

Vice stared in disbelief and burst into laughter. "That old thing?! Sure, why the heck not? We've barely ever used it anyway!"

"What… What are you doing?!" Yasushi demanded as Ikki removed the Giffard Vistamp and prepared the new one. "I'm not… I'm not worth going all out on?!"

"Honestly, not really," Ikki confessed.

"Be glad we aren't using the Kangaroo Genome! That would be even MORE humiliating!" Vice taunted. "… Especially for me. Which is why I hid the Vistamp somewhere no one would ever be able to find it-"

"Sakura found it in her underwear drawer," Ikki informed him.

"DAMMIT."

"Now my blood's boiling!" Ikki cried, activating the Vistamp.

NEO HOPPER!

"Oh gosh! I'm getting goosebumps!" Vice squealed, dissolving as Ikki stamped his Driver.

COME ON! N-N-NEO HOPPER! BUDDY UP! A JUMP OF OBLIGATION! TURNS TO ASPIRATION! NEO HOPPER! IT'S A WORK OF REVICE!

One transformation sequence later, the duo were wearing armor reminiscent of the first Rider of the Reiwa era, Zero-One!

"There's only one duo that can stop you…" Ikki began.

"And that's us!" Vice finished.

"Damn you… TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!" Yasushi shouted, manifesting a massive energy construct of a sabertooth tiger which charged at the duo.

"Nope!" Neo signed as Ikki activated a certain feature on his Driver.

REMIX! BUDDY UP! THE FINISHER! CHANGER! ANOTHER! NEO HOPPER!

Yasushi gawked in disbelief as the trio (Neo was dragged in unwillingly) contorted their bodies together to resemble a grasshopper… And then got BIGGER, growing to the same size as his Tiger! "What the-"

The Tiger lunged at the grasshopper, jaws opening wide and claws out…

And was understandably surprised when the Revice Neo Hopper split apart into dozens of much smaller grasshoppers which promptly swarmed around it before converging on its body, each streaking through the air like a laser bullet, piercing its hide again and again until it was so riddled with holes it burst, energy particles flying everywhere.

The grasshoppers all then recombined into their original form, albeit man size, and lunged at Yasushi, digging their mandibles into his neck and biting repeatedly, causing him to scream in agony, before leaping into the sky, spreading their wings to gain more altitude, and threw him downwards with a toss of their head.

In a flash of light, the trio separated again, and Ikki activated their finishing move.

NEO HOPPER STAMPING FINISH!

Lines of magenta and green energy flowed from their legs, a magenta grasshopper leg energy construct forming around Ikki's right leg and a green version around Vice's and a mix of the colors around Neo's legs. They shot downwards, leaving trails of magenta and green energy in their wake, and struck Yasushi in the chest, enveloping the monster in an explosion of magenta and green.

The back of the Deadman's body rippled, and suddenly Yasushi was flung out, screaming and flailing ineffectually, his clothes in tatters and blood streaking his form, hitting the ground at the same time as Neo, Ikki and Vice, who landed much more elegantly. As the remains of the Sabertiger Deadman convulsed in the sky, Vice turned to the screen and held up his fingers.

"Tres! Deux! One! Rei!"

The Deadman exploded, and the trio high-fived.

"But… That was a base form… How could you possibly break my contract so easily?!" Yasushi wailed, incredulous.

"Because we're just that good!" Vice laughed, flipping him off.

"Sakura's not the only one who is still getting stronger," Ikki agreed. "Speaking of, think she's finished her guy yet?"

---

Amahiko cackled as he twirled his polearm, streams of red energy trailing his movements. "Oh, how have I waited for this… Have you thought of me often, Sakura? I dreamed of you almost constantly while I was away…"

Sakura grimaced in disgust. "Honestly, I kinda forgot you existed. Also, ew. You've always been a creep, but that's taking it to a whole new level!"

"You're gross! Icky! The worst!" Lovekov cried.

Amahiko grinned. "Well, I am based off of a kind of flatworm…"

"Fitting. You're nothing but a parasite," Kanade said distastefully.

Sakura glanced at Lovekov. "Lovekov, sweetie, I know you would like to help mommy, but I don't want you anywhere near this creep. Why don't you give me some background music as I beat the demon out of him?"

"Okay, love!" Lovekov cheered happily, beginning to play their theme song, 'Cherry-ish,' on her guitar.

Sakura chuckled as she raised her fists. "Yeah, that'll do it…"

Amahiko grinned and pointed his Nodarake Arms at her. "Well, if you want to die so badly-"

Their eyes met, and he stiffened, feeling an intense pressure, a sudden wave of absolute, overwhelming dread washing over him.

For a split second, Kanade and Sakura seemed… Bigger, larger than her human frame suggested. They were an eggshell, a seething, burning, raging serpent of unimaginable power contained in a fragile vessel. A presence radiated from them, a Dragon like the kind who had roamed and shaped the ancient world in tales of yore, a pitiless, omnipotent God who regarded him with all the contempt a greater being would have for the powerless worms beneath their feet.

And then the moment passed, and Kanade and Sakura were simply themselves again…

And yet Amahiko was still trembling in fear.

What was… what was that?! He thought, frightened. I know Sakura's gotten stronger, but… But there's no way she could be that strong… No! I refuse to believe it! After all I have suffered at her hands, I will not be beaten again!

Snarling, he thrust his polearm forwards, firing orange energy blasts at the guitarist.

And Daruizen, Kanade and Sakura…

Danced.

That was the only way Amahiko could describe it. Their bodies moved effortlessly, stepping and twirling and flipping through the air as she evaded his projectiles, Sakura's ponytail and Kanade's pigtails, as well as Daruizen's tail, swirling around them and slicing through any blast which tried to hit them, causing them to explode in little bursts of fireworks which only served to make her look more stylish and beautiful. Not only that, all of their movements were somehow synchronized to the music emanating from Lovekov's guitar, moving in perfect harmony to the rhythm.

Wait…

Wasn't Lovekov supposed to be the embodiment of Sakura's weakness or something?

Which meant, if he were to take her out…!

Amahiko charged more energy into his polearm, gathering in a massive ball at its tip…

Which he then pointed at Lovekov, firing a massive orange energy beam in her direction.

Sakura started. "Lovekov!"

She quickly took out a Vistamp and hurled it at her daughter.

Lovekov caught it and stamped it on a panel on her guitar.

LOVE UP! YEAH! TURTLE! KOBUKOBUKOBUKOBU!

She ran the Vistamp along the strings of her guitar, using it as a pick, red and gold sound waves emanating from her instrument and forming a large energy construct in the form of a turtle which completely encased her in its shell, Amahiko's energy beam smashing into it with no effect.

He then pointed another at Hibiki, firing a massive orange energy beam in her direction.

Kanade started. "Sister!"

She quickly took out a Wonder Ride Book and hurled it at her.

Hibiki caught it and locked it on a panel on her microphone.

BAKKU DRAW SWORD! TRI CERBERUS! ONE IKAZUCHI BOOK! WHEN THE BOOK'S GUARDIAN BEAST AND THE RAIMEIKEN IKAZUCHI INTERSECT, THE LIGHTNING SWORD UTILIZES ITS GLARE!

She sang a high note, red and lavender sound waves emanating from her mic and forming a large energy construct in the form of Cerberus which completely encased her in its body, Amahiko's energy beam smashing into it with no effect.

Amahiko's jaw dropped. "What?!"

[jimminy christmas]

[seriously how much of a dom is kanade?!]

[Yes.]

[i wanna know how silver gal isn't a puddle right now]

[Alright lads pack it in, we've seen some shit on this stream]

[I mean if I get to watch it all I ain't gonna complain]

GLaDOS: [Do we have to watch them? I imagine most of you have better things to do with your time.]

[Nope!]

[Got the day off]

[did you take a sick day just to see some assholes get their ass beat?]

[maybe]

Smoke: [I respect it]

GLaDOS: [Are you really watching people battle by yourself on a Friday night?]

Dr. Kleiner: [No! I'm with the science team!]

Dr. Coomer: [WEARGH]

Dr. Freeman: […]

GLaDOS: [You remind me of someone. We'll be having a discussion later.]

"That was a mistake."

Amahiko froze in terror, that inexplicable feeling of incomprehensible dread returning, Kanade and Sakura radiating so much killing intent he found himself unable to move as they angrily stalked towards him.

Once again, he thought he saw them as a Dragon.

"No… Nononono!"

Managing to break free of his paralysis through sheer force of will, he drove his hand into his chest, ripping out a fistful of Vistamps. Desperate, he threw them at the ground in front of him.

PLANARIAN!

In flashes of red light, half a dozen Phase 1 Planarian Deadmen materialized before him. "Get her!" He shouted.

Not even looking remotely worried, Kanade tossed Hibiki another Wonder Ride Book, just as Sakura tossed Lovekov another Vistamp.

LOVE UP! YEAH! TRICERA! KOBUKOBUKOBUKOBU!

GENBU SHINWA! SLICE IN HALF! SMASHING SLASH! DOGO! DOGO! DOGOUKEN GEKIDO! GEKIDO REPRINT! THE ABSOLUTELY ARMORED LARGE SWORD DELIVERS A MIGHTY BLOW FROM THE NORTH!

This time, Lovekov and Hibiki's song produced an energy construct in the form of a turtle and triceratops, which rushed forwards. Kanade and Sakura backflipped and landed on their backs, riding it as it plowed through the Deadmen, goring them on its horns and trampling them beneath its feet.

Swearing in disbelief, Amahiko rolled to the side just before it could slam into him, charging energy into his Nodarake Arms and slashing at the dinosaur as it passed, causing the triceratops to dissipate in a blast of energy. Feeling a shadow block out the sun, he quickly pointed his weapon upwards and fired another massive energy beam at Sakura, who had leapt off the triceratops at the last minute and was diving at him from above.

GOD DRAGON STAMPING SMASH!

With a stamp of the God Dragon Vistamp, a red and gold draconic aura formed around her right fist. She thrusted it forwards as the beam shot towards her, the blast parting around her hand, the aura seeming to increase and make her look even more fearsome. Eyes widening in horror as Sakura split the beam, he dove to the side…

Which is probably why when her punch connected and a tremendous explosion of red and gold draconic aura enveloped the area, only two thirds of his body was vaporized, rather than the entire thing.

Amahiko screamed in agony as he collapsed to the ground, what was left of his single remaining leg was not enough to support what remained of his body. His left leg and arm were gone, along with most of his torso, and only a bit of his head, his right arm, and his Nodarake Arms remained. "You… You BITCH!" He screamed. "You think this will stop me?! You forget, I can regenerate!"

Kanade tilted her head to the side. "Can you?"

Amahiko grit his teeth and concentrated, the exposed flesh on the left side of his body wriggling as his cells started to regrow themselves…

Only for red and gold flames to ignite, causing him to scream again. "Yeah, you aren't going to be healing anytime soon," Sakura said smugly as she raised her fist, which was still burning. "Ready to call it quits?"

"N…no… NEVER!" Amahiko shouted, thrusting his polearm forwards, the numerous weird little insect mask things all Deadmen had coming to life and launching towards her on the end of writhing wormlike bodies, quickly growing to immense sizes, their mandibles opening wide as they hungrily rushed to devour her.

Kanade threw another Wonder Ride Book at Hibiki and Sakura threw another Vistamp at Lovekov.

LOVE UP! YEAH! SHOEBILL! KOBUKOBUKOBUKOBU!

WHEN THE LEGENDARY SEIKEN AND THE CHOSEN BOOK INTERSECT, THE GREAT POWER HAS UNLEASHED!

A great energy construct of a sword and shoebill manifested from Lovekov's guitar and Hibiki's mic and swooped down, grabbing and goring the grotesque worms in its beak, ripping them out of the Nodarake Arms, and flying away, the shoebill to presumably feed on them.

Amahiko gawked in disbelief. "Seriously?!"

"Seriously," Sakura said, stamping God Dragon again.

GOD DRAGON LIBERAL SMASH!

Draconic aura forming around her hand, Hibiki and Sakura rushed forwards and delivered a powerful uppercut to Amahiko which sent him flying skywards. Kanade, surrounded in a similar aura, slung her guitar onto her back and struck Amahiko with a kick.

Lovekov, surrounded in a similar aura, slung her guitar onto her back and burrowed into the ground, erupting right beneath Sakura's feet moments later, having transformed into a majestic red and gold Eastern Dragon, wearing a sized up version of her jacket, with her face and yellow eyes visible in her mouth and her guitar gripped in her tail.

The duo shot skywards like a red and gold arrow, quickly catching up to Amahiko. Sakura, who'd been standing on top of her daughters snout, leapt into the air, foot first. Lovekov exhaled red and gold flames which engulfed Sakura in divine fire which briefly took on a draconic appearance right before she struck Amahiko with a Rider Kick.

Amahiko screamed in anguish…

And was abruptly forced out the back of his decaying Deadman form as Kanade shot past, foot still planted in his chest.

Lovekov's jaws opened wide and slammed shut on the remains of the Deadman, swallowing it whole before emitting a small fiery belch.

Sakura landed on her feet, posing dramatically, her ponytail billowing behind her as Lovekov twisted about in the air overhead, looking suitably impressive.

Hibiki also landed on her feet, posing dramatically, her hair billowing behind her as Kanade posed with her, looking suitably impressive.

Amahiko, on the other hand, landed face first into the rest of the Deadlight members excluding Kronos, Calamity, Birch, Circe, Quarry, Ink Blotch and Megafin, at the park, implanting them in a wall.

"I think I need serious medical attention," Light said weakly.

"Me too..." Amahiko added.

---

Yuina moved cautiously, head constantly turning to take in her surroundings.

Her own face stared back at her, reflected dozens of times.

She had pursued the Chameleon Deadman into a hall of mirrors, which she was now seriously regretting, because she quickly lost track of her quarry, and now wasn't even sure where the exit was.

In retrospect, perhaps chasing off a shapeshifter who could also turn invisible into a place full of mirrors wasn't the smartest idea.

"Where are you, Chameleon?" She snarled. "Show yourself!"

She heard laughter.

Caught motion out of the corner of her eye.

She whirled around, lashing out with a kick…

And shattered a mirror that had only been showing her own reflection.

She growled in frustration as shards of glass hit the floor. This was not the first time she'd made that mistake.

"This is why I hate halls of mirrors," she complained.

Yuina spun around…

And hesitated, only seeing her reflection. "Right. Not going to fall for that again."

Her reflection suddenly lunged forwards, tackling her into another mirror, which shattered on impact.

Yuina cursed as she hit the ground, Chameleon cackling as he briefly resumed his true form before running off again into the labyrinth. "Dammit! Enough of these games!" she shouted as she chased after him.

"Enough? But Zinner, we've just gotten started!"

She lashed out, shattering another mirror. Just a reflection.

"That's not my name! Know this, I am Yuina Akagawa! The Blissful Demon that Shines like the Sun at Night Under the Moonlit Sky! The Mako Fangire!"

Several of the mirrors shimmered, and Yuina found herself surrounded by reflections of Lady Aguilera, but Yuina turned into her Fangire form, basically a fusion between her human form and the Shark Fangire but recolored white and red, with tinges of blue and purple.

Damn, she has to admit, Hanna looked good in that dress. Maybe she should get a new one made and model it for Sakura sometime?

She turned slowly, examining each reflection carefully, tightening her grip on her sword. "Just because I won't let my heritage define me doesn't mean I'll deny it. After all, I'm not a coward like you."

Chameleon laughed. Yuina lashed out, attacking another mirror…

Damn! Another reflection.

Catching movement on her left, she spun about, throwing her sword, only for it to bury itself up to the hilt in a mirror, cracking the glass.

A fireball exploded against her back, knocking her over, and she heard laughter again as Chameleon escaped once more.

Growling, Yuina grabbed her sword and prepared to give chase, only to hesitate. Right now, all she was doing was playing right into his hands. Maybe it was time she turned the tables on him with a mind game of her own…

"See? There you go again. Running away. You really are a coward."

"It's not cowardice to use your abilities to their fullest," Chameleon sneered, his voice echoing all around her. "It's being pragmatic-"

"That's not what I mean."

"… What?"

"You know, it's kind of ironic that you lead me in here, to a hall of mirrors," Yuina jeered, moving around slowly. "After all, when's the last time you even looked at your own face? Do you remember what it looks like?"

"I hated that face!" Chameleon snarled, several of the reflections suddenly changing to reveal his true form. (Well, not his true true form, but you get the drift.) "I discarded it when I could!"

"Exactly," Yuina retorted. "You hated your appearance so much that rather than accepting yourself, you threw away your identity. Your face, your name… You discarded it. You ran away. You're such a coward that you prefer to walk around with the face of a dead man or become a Deadman rather than be true to yourself."

"… Shut up," the Chameleon growled.

"I've moved past who my kind once was, but I know that King Wataru made peace between humans and Fangires," Yuina continued. "But you? You don't even have a name anymore! You have no identity of your own! You're just the Chameleon Deadman! You, Yasushi, Amahiko… All three of you were losers, but at least they were true to themselves! But you? You're the most pathetic of them all!"

"SHUT UP!" The Chameleon shouted, all of the reflections lunging at her.

Yuina immediately drove to the ground, thrusting her sword upwards as the Chameleon passed over her, slicing deep into his chest as he flew overhead, causing him to cry out in pain as he slammed into another mirror, shattering it.

ZINNER DIVIDING FINISHER!

The Chameleon's back rippled, and suddenly his true human form was ejected, bleeding and clothes in tatters, sprawling helplessly on the ground.

"Guess that's it… Oh, I hate this," the nameless man groaned.

"No matter what name I go by… I will always be a Fangire," Yuina proclaimed.

She paused, a thought occurring to her. "Wait, how did I do that? I don't have the power to separate Deadmen from their contractors… Do I? Oh well," Yuina said, shrugging her shoulders, walking over to the increasingly distressed man. "For what it's worth, I'm not going to hate this."

"W-Wait!"

A pair of giant glass fangs materialized from thin air and buried themselves in his neck. He screamed, face twisting in pain…

And his entire body turned to glass. Yuina dismissed the fangs with a wave of her hand, and the glass statue shattered. She grimaced and rubbed her stomach as the Chameleon Deadman ran off. "Ugh… Not the finest soul I've ever devoured…"

---

Without missing a beat, Doll summoned her knife and hurled it towards Uzi as Joey aimed a tommy gun at Ivy and Zack to try and kill them. The deadly blade hurtled towards her hand, almost piercing the metallic skin. But at the last moment, Minami caught the knife with lightning-fast reflexes, snatching it out of the air before it could do any harm as Roman dragged Zach and Ivy out of the way.

Handing the knife to Uzi, Minami offered her a reassuring smile. "You'll need this." She said softly, her voice filled with conviction. "We're in this together."

Doll focused her attention on Uzi, her eyes narrowing as she attempted to use her AS to control her. But to her surprise, it wasn't working. Uzi stood her ground, her eyes blazing with a fierce determination, and the telekinetic field surrounding her seemed to be repelling the AS.

The squad, too, found themselves in a similar position. The AS had no effect on them, and they stood by Uzi's side, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

Meanwhile, Enn reached over for a crawling arm, a look of confusion etched on his face. "Is this-" he began to ask, before Vee snatched the arm from him, her teeth sinking into the metal.

"Mine!" Vee exclaimed triumphantly, her voice muffled by the arm in her mouth.

"You look like garbage." Esdeath said bluntly, her voice full of amusement.

"You frickin' traitor!" Vee spat, turning her ire towards Esdeath.

"As if you didn't kill anyone." Esdeath retorted, her eyes flickering with a hint of spite as she examined the severed limb. "Where does this go, anyway?"

Enn let out a sigh of relief, grateful for the distraction from the tense situation at hand. "Thank you, Esdeath!" He said, offering her a grateful smile.

"Shut up." Esdeath and Vee chorused in unison, their voices laced with banter.

As the battle raged on, Doll's eyes narrowed in concentration as she focused her AS powers to telekinetically control Joey's gun. With precision and finesse, she threw the bullets inside towards Uzi and Minami, who were on the defensive, trying to avoid getting hit.

Uzi's agile movements allowed her to dodge the knife as she backflipped away from danger. Meanwhile, Doll had to employ all her energy to create a telekinetic shield that could withstand Minami's scalpels.

As the fight progressed, Uzi found herself in a precarious position, and Doll took advantage of the opportunity. With lightning speed, she picked up Uzi's knife, multiplied it, and hurled the weapons at Uzi.

However, Enn intervened and blocked all the knives with his metal wing, much to Uzi's chagrin. "Quit saving me!" Uzi yelled.

Despite the constant barrage of attacks, Enn and Uzi continued to dance and dodge their opponents' moves. Minami, on the other hand, remained focused on firing scalpels at Doll relentlessly. With each scalpel, Doll's telekinetic shield weakened, and she struggled to keep up.

As the battle wore on, Uzi noticed a severe injury on Enn's side, and she grew more concerned for her friend's well-being. "Seriously, don't do that again." She warned Enn, knowing that his recklessness could endanger them all.

"Uzi... Ah, okay, your turn!" Enn said, tossing Uzi out of the way as he was hit by an oncoming table. Doll reacted quickly, levitating some nearby tables to use against Uzi, who began parkouring across them all.

But in the heat of the moment, Uzi had a sudden realization. "Wait... I'm not a Worker Borg, I'm an Atomizer Borg! I almost forgot about that!" she exclaimed, feeling a renewed sense of purpose and determination to win the fight.

Akaishi used his incredible speed to zip around Genta, occasionally slashing him with his claws, striking him with his tail, or hitting him with a powerful punch or kick before quickly moving back out of range. "What's wrong, Genta Igarashi? You said you were going to make me pay for stealing your son from you! But all you're doing is just standing there, letting yourself get hit!"

"It was always you, wasn't it?"

Akaishi blinked. "Eh?"

"Vail killed my parents. Masumi Karizaki brought me back from the dead. Agariyama treated me as something less than human and turned me into a weapon…But you. You were there from the start. You were the one really pulling the strings at NOAH, weren't you? Just like you manipulated the Deadmans, Fenix, everyone on both sides of this conflict! Everything… All the suffering my family has gone through… You're the architect of it all!" Genta accused him.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not," Akaishi said enigmatically. "But if it's true, consider this: if you had not been turned into a Kamen Rider by NOAH, your life as you know it would not exist! There would be no Genta Igarashi. You would not be happily married with three children and co-owner of a charming small business. If I caused all your woes, I also gave you all your joys as well!"

Genta narrowed his eyes. "And I suppose I should be grateful?"

"Whether or not you thank me for my actions is irrelevant. Even if I did create you, you're standing in my way… And if you continue to do so, I will not hesitate to eliminate you!" Akaishi declared.

Genta glanced at Daiji, standing nearby. "And you agree with that, son? You're really going to let him kill your old man?"

"I'm really hoping it won't come to that," Daiji said uncomfortably.

Genta laughed and smashed his fists together. "Well, too bad, because I'm not going to stand down! Not to this bastard, or anyone else!"

Akaishi sneered. "If that's your final decision."

He dashed forwards…

And six mechanical appendages, the Herclaws, suddenly extended from Genta's back, piercing Akaishi's feet, forearms, and torso, stopping him in place. "What?!"

"I wasn't just letting myself get hit, Akaishi. I was taking measure of your abilities… And making sure my timing was perfect!" He declared.

"… Impressive. With my feet pierced, I cannot move, and I cannot regenerate so long as your claws are piercing me," Akaishi observed, surprised. "Unfortunately for you, I am far from helpless!"

Purple energy crackled around his hands, and he grabbed the Herclaws buried in his forearms, sending that energy flowing up the mechanical appendages and engulfing Genta in purple flames.

"Dad!" Daiji gasped in horror as his father screamed.

Akaishi chuckled… And was startled when Genta started laughing as well. "You think… This hurts?!" The Igarashi patriarch cried, producing a Vistamp. "Compared to everything I went through at NOAH… This is NOTHING!"

He stamped the Vistamp on his Driver.

DOMINATE UP! KOMODO DRAGON! NEO BURST!

The Komodo Dragonic Heat gauntlet materialized on his left arm. Shouting at the top of his lungs, Genta channeled the fire engulfing his body into his left hand, the eyes on the gauntlet lighting up as the flames changed color.

"Let's see how YOU like it!" Genta cried, blasting Akaishi with a tremendous blast of flame.

DESTREAM NOVA!

Now it was Akaishi's turn to scream.

HOLY JUSTICE FINISH!

Wings spread, Daiji swooped down, spinning around and using his Livegun's blade to generate several blue and cyan energy slashes around himself. He smashed into the Herclaws, the spinning blades not only shielding him from impact but severing the mechanical legs, flinging both Genta and Akaishi back.

"Dammit, son, I had him!" Genta snapped in frustration, batting away the feathers Daiji constantly seemed to molt while in flight as his Herclaws started repairing themselves.

"I can't let you take him out!" Daiji yelled as he opened fire with his Livegun, bombarding his father with cyan energy bullets, forcing Genta to raise the Komodo Dragonic Heat, generating a heat barrier which caused the projectiles to curve away from him. "We need him! Humanity needs him!"

"Humanity?! Daiji, do you know how many atrocities this man has caused?! He's responsible for World War II!" Genta shot back.

"Indirectly responsible!" Akaishi insisted, ripping the Herclaws out of his body, sighing in relief as the wounds healed up. "Azuma is the one who killed Archduke Ferdinand!"

"On your orders!" Genta yelled, firing another blast of flames at Akaishi.

Daiji dropped down in front of his master, folding his wings in front of himself to create a shield, the flames breaking against it. Opening his wings back up as soon as the fire died down, Daiji revealed his Livegun was fully charged for another finisher.

HOLY JUSTICE FINISH!

He pulled the trigger, firing a massive cyan blade-shaped energy projectile at his father. Genta put as much power into his heat barrier as he could as the projectile slammed into him, driving his repaired Herclaws into the ground to hold himself in place and keep from being thrown back. He grunted, sweating in exertion as he tried to hold the blast back-

Akaishi fired a massive purple energy blast of his own, the two projectiles co-mingling into a single blast far too large for Genta to defend himself against, overwhelming his barrier and enveloping him in a cyan and purple explosion.

Genta was flung from the blast, crying out as he rolled across the ground, Herclaws broken once again, his gauntlet fading away. Before he could get up, Daiji planted a foot on his stomach, pointing his gun right between his eyes. "It's over. Give it up already! Just tell us where Giff is and this will all be over!"

Genta stared up at him in defiance and disappointment. "… Who are you? I don't know you. You're certainly not the son I raised."

"Shut up."

"The Daiji I know fought for justice. Real justice, not the convenient label fascists used to justify their atrocities," Genta spat. "He wouldn't help a tyrant. He wouldn't fight alongside terrorists. He wouldn't attack helpless civilians or betray his own family!"

Daiji hesitated. "It's for the greater-"

"DON'T!" Genta shouted, causing him to flinch. "Don't you dare finish that sentence! The 'greater good?' My parents were murdered for the greater good. I died and was brought back for the greater good. I was stripped of my name, turned into a weapon, treated as less than human, and made to clean up other people's messes for the greater good! The greater good is, and always will be, an excuse to do horrible, evil acts with a clean conscience. The ends do not justify the means! After everything Akaishi has done to us, to you, how can you possibly still side with him?!"

"BECAUSE AT LEAST HE'S WILLING TO TAKE MY SIDE!"

They stared at each other, stunned. Daiji trembled, shocked by what he had just said. "I-"

"I see. So, in the end, on some level it all boils down to you still resenting your siblings and feeling like you're in their shadow," Genta said softly, sadly.

"Wait, really?" Vega asked, shocked at this. "So you joined up with Fenix, all over jealousy of your siblings getting the spotlight?"

"Wow, just wow. That's a new low, even by our standards." Birch said, disgusted by Daiji.

"And here I thought you were in it to join the winning side." Circe said, ashamed of Daiji. "I was wrong."

"Look, I may be evil, Daiji. I even joined a terrorist organization. But if you're legitimately working for Akaishi and planning to help enslave this world because you're jealous of your siblings, well, the only thing keeping us from killing you is the fact that we're in the middle of a battle. There's evil, and then there's just plain petty." Calamity realized, ashamed of Daiji.

"We at least admit we're psychos, you're just a pathetic jealous hack with too many insecurities." Kronos said.

"That's not… No! That's not what I-" Daiji protested.

"Save your speech after we win." Megafin retorted.

"And afterwards, Fenix isn't getting our protection anymore and their resources are being repossessed, so good luck trying to get people to your side without your precious Vistamps and weapons." Ink Blotch said.

"I'm not going to fight you, son. Even if I think you're making a terrible mistake, I won't fight. I know you're better than this, even if you don't," Genta said calmly.

Daiji trembled and glanced at Akaishi, who stared at him impassively. "I… I don't…"

"However… While I don't want to fight you… I know someone else who has no problem with it," Genta said, producing a very large Vistamp resembling a paint roller.

BLACKOUT!

Daiji's eyes widened in disbelief. "What?!"

"Daiji! Shoot him!" Akaishi shouted, horrified at the realization of just what that Vistamp was.

Daiji tried to pull the trigger…

And froze.

In that instant, Genta rolled the Vistamp across his chest, leaving a streak of red and black paint with a demonic visage in it. "Time to wake up… VAIL!"

He cried out in pain as a massive blast of red and black energy erupted from his chest, hurling Daiji off of him. The mass of dark energy coalesced into a crackling cloud of darkness, a pair of huge purple eyes cracking open and a jagged toothed mouth stretching into a grin.

"I'm back. What's up, bitches?"

With that horrifying proclamation, the cloud compressed on itself, swirling down to the ground and taking on a humanoid form, red energy crackling around it as it solidified into what looked an awful lot like Vice, with purple eyes, red and black coloration, and no face mask, revealing a jagged red toothed grin.

"Что, черт возьми, в самом деле?" Doll asked, wondering how this guy summoned a demon. The words translate to "What in the actual hell?"

"No… No, that's not possible!" Daiji wailed. "You died! I saw you die!"

"No, I reabsorbed him," Genta corrected him. "Totally different."

"I almost did die," Vail admitted, voice smooth. "But after spending the last few weeks in Genta's heart, where I truly belong… My body has stabilized, and I am back at full power…" He opened his hand, which crackled with crimson energy. "And then some."

"And you think this will help you? Vail despises you, and your entire family!" Akaishi pointed out.

Genta chuckled as he stood up, clapping Vail on the shoulder. "Yep, the two of us have come to an understanding. We really have a lot in common. Isn't that right, best buddy?"

"I told you not to call me that," Vail grumbled good-naturedly, rolling his eyes.

"… Are you kidding?" Birch said.

"… Are you serious?!" Daiji screamed. "You went off on me for working with Akaishi and the other former Deadmans, but you're willing to work with him?! The guy who killed your parents and tried to kill us on numerous occasions?!"

"I forgave him, just as I forgive you," Genta replied immediately. "He is as much a part of this family as you are, Daiji, and none of us is blameless. Me and Akane killed a lot of people who didn't deserve it back in the day, and didn't care because we were too obsessed with revenge to think differently. Your mother technically took advantage of my amnesia to shape me into her ideal partner. Uncle Johnny killed people to try and survive. Vice tried to eat your mother. Sakura is dating her stalker. Lovekov is dating someone way older than her. Your brother briefly dabbled in NFT's and cryptocurrency and nearly cost us the house. Yuina stalked a lot of women and scammed people out of their money. If we can't accept each other as we are, warts and all, how can we call each other family? Vail's my inner demon, and as much a part of me as Vice and Lovekov are for your brother and sister. And can you really honestly tell me that if Kagerou didn't show up and say he wanted to make things right, you wouldn't accept him back without a second thought?"

Daiji flinched at this, realizing his father was right.

"… You're all insane," Megafin realized, astonished.

Vail chuckled ruefully. "You're just figuring that out now?"

"You know what to do, partner?" Genta asked Vail, handing him the Crimson Vistamp.

"Rough them up a bit but don't kill them. Just enough to drive them off. Don't worry, I know how to hold back," Vail promised him. "And hey, you know I'm always up for disciplining quacks like them since you're too much of a softy to do it yourself."

"If I weren't such a softy, you wouldn't be here now," Genta pointed out.

"Heh, fair enough," Vail conceded, activating the Vistamp.

BLACKOUT! CRIMSON UP! CRIMSON VAIL!

"All right," Crimson Vail sneered, revving up his Vistamp. "It's time to take my belt off, and paint y'all red."

Daiji and the other Deadlight members whimpered.

"And don't think we're done, Doll," Minami announced, producing two scalpels. "You've tussled with my crew, and screwed with my friend's head… Now you'll feel what it's like to take on a nurse who has nothing to lose!"

Despite herself, Doll found herself uncharacteristically worried.

"And don't think we're done, Akaishi," Genta announced, producing two Vistamps and stamping them on his Driver, one after the other.

DOMINATE UP! KOMODO DRAGON! NEO BURST!

DOMINATE UP! CROCODILE! NEO BURST!

The Komodo Dragonic Heat reappeared on his left arm, while a crocodilian drill, the Croco Wizarolling, manifested on his right.

Akaishi gawked in disbelief. "Both at the same time?!"

"I've been a Rider a lot longer than any of my kids, so my body can handle it," Genta bragged without a hint of strain. "I'd use the Kong Vistamp as well, except I'm out of arms, and my Herclaws aren't exactly suited for boxing."

He revved up his drill as his flamethrower ignited. "You've tussled with my kids, Akaishi, and screwed with my son's head… Now you'll feel what it's like to take on the family patriarch!"

Despite himself, Akaishi found himself uncharacteristically worried.

---

Things looked pretty dire for Tamaki, Ampaz, Iona Cyclonis and Zinnia. After being chased away from the others by a bunch of Giff Juniors, they'd been cornered outside the shooting gallery, and were surrounded by demons, who looked like they were all too eager to rip them to pieces. "I don't suppose telling you that we are friends with your boss would help?" Cyclonis asked anxiously.

The hisses and snarls from the Giff Juniors indicated that no, it would not.

"Cycs, I'll distract them," Zinnia said, stepping in front of her girlfriend. "And while they're fighting me, Iona and Tamaki, you can get away with Ampaz!"

Cyclonis gasped in horror. "Zinny, no! That's a terrible idea, Tamaki's so frail and squishy, they'd finish him off in seconds!"

"Dammit, you're right!" Zinnia cursed.

"Found you!" Olteca sneered, the demons parting as he stepped forward.

"You!" Tamaki snarled, voice dripping with vitriol.

"Oh hey there." Olteca said with a disingenuous smile. "I have to say, I really am impressed! Good on you! I'm gonna kill you now. I mean, hey, I killed your best friend, might as well make it two for two, right?"

"Oh hell no, I'm not going to be stuffed into a fridge!" Zinnia protested.

"Yeah, I'm not actually giving you a choice in the matter," Olteca said, producing a horrifyingly familiar device.

DEMONS DRIVER!

Cyclonis gasped, eyes widening in horror. "That's…! How did you-"

"Don't worry, that friend of yours is still alive, much to my disappointment. What was his name again? Eh, I don't really care." Olteca said with a shrug, strapping the Driver on. "I think I'm going to call myself Superior Demons instead, because I'm way better than that loser or Kadota."

"Don't you dare talk about Kadota like that!" Takumi spat, livid.

Olteca scoffed. "Since when do you care about him? Whatever. I'm going to murder your girlfriend and make you watch."

He produced a Vistamp.

RHINO BEET-

Without warning, an arrow suddenly struck Olteca's hand, knocking the Vistamp out of it. "GAH! What the hell?! Who-"

"OLTECA!"

Olteca looked up. His eyes widened in disbelief. "No… That's not possible! You died! I killed you!"

"Rumors of my death," Hiromi Kadota declared from his perch atop the shooting gallery, a bow in one hand and a notched arrow in the other, his trenchcoat billowing in the breeze, "were greatly exaggerated."

"Mr. Kadota! You're here!" Tamaki exclaimed in delight. "But what about your surgery?"

"The first procedure to undo the damage the Demons Driver did to me was a complete success," Hiromi said. "I'm not quite fit for combat yet… But if I can help, then I absolutely will! And, more importantly…"

He grinned. "I brought reinforcements!"

Suddenly, about a dozen Demons Troopers appeared, attacking the startled Giff Juniors with their Ohinbuster50s and Osutodero50s. Kadota provided support, firing arrow after arrow into the demonic horde as his soldiers engaged the enemy.

Olteca growled in irritation. "Dammit… Whatever! I'm still plenty strong enough to kill you all anyway-"

He stopped, seeing that Zinnia was now holding the Rhino Beetle Vistamp. "What the… what are you doing with that?"

"Using it for its real purpose… Fighting monsters like you!" Zinnia declared.

Olteca burst into laughter. "Come on, seriously? You can't use that thing to transform! It's useless to you!"

Zinnia smirked. "But that's where you're wrong, Olteca… I can't transform with it, true… but it's FAR from useless!"

RHINO BEETLE!

She stamped the Vistamp on her chest. She screamed in agony, energy crackling around him as the Genomic Stamper briefly flashed over his chest, and then a massive piece of parchment covered in demonic script materialized from her body, rapidly folding on itself before transforming into a monster whose upper half resembled a very angular blue rhino beetle with those freaky Deadman insect masks for eyes and reptilian legs.

As Cyclonis rushed over to her in concern, Zinnia, gasping for breath, pointed at Olteca. "Get him!"

The Rhino Beetle Deadman shrieked and rushed over to the startled Olteca, opening its pincers wide.

Olteca quickly recovered and caught the beetle monster's horns in his hands. "Really? You think a Phase 1 Deadman is enough to stop me?"

He lashed out with one of his grasshopper legs, flinging the monster back. "See? I win!"

Zinnia grinned. "Are you sure about that?"

The Deadman raised its hands… Revealing it was holding the Demons Driver and some other Vistamps!

"WHAT?!" Olteca explained, looking down and patting his pockets only to discover, to his astonishment, he had been deprived of the Driver and the other Vistamps. "No… No, that's not possible! I can't have been outsmarted by Tamaki!"

The Deadman threw the Driver and Vistamps at Zinnia, who caught them. "You know, Olteca, you may have always thought Tamaki's card game was stupid… But I watched a lot of Yu Gi Oh!" She bragged.

"Plus, it actually taught me a lot about strategy!" Tamaki bragged.

"I see… You summoned and then sacrificed a monster for a chance at the prize! A classic move!" Ampaz gushed, eyes turning to hearts.

"Wow, you played him like a fiddle!" Cyclonis gushed, eyes turning to hearts.

Hiromi smiled proudly. "Well done."

"I'll admit, that's impressive." Iona realized.

"Thanks for your help," Zinnia told the Deadman, saluting him. "I'll take it from here."

The monster saluted her back.

As Olteca continued to seethe, Tamaki strapped on the Driver and primed the Vistamp.

DEMONS DRIVER!

STAG BEETLE!

"This is for you, Yosuke," Tamaki whispered. "HENSHIN!"

DELETE UP! UNKNOWN. UNREST. UNLIMITED. KAMEN RIDER OVER DEMONS!

"So cool…" Ampaz whispered, smitten. "My boyfriend is a superhero!"

"Hey, save me some of that." Zinnia said, bringing out her own Demons Driver colored black and teal.

DRAKO DRIVER!

RHINO BEETLE!

"This goes out to my cousin," Zinnia chuckled. "HENSHIN!"

DRAK UP! ETERNAL STORM. REWRITE THE STORY. BREAK THE RULES. KAMEN RIDER DRAKON!

"So cool…" Cyclonis whispered, smitten. "My girlfriend is a superhero!"

"Wait, THAT'S Over Demons?!" Olteca demanded in disbelief as Tamaki finished his transformation. "But that's just a mashup of the Demons and Vail suits! Wow, I think I may have actually dodged a bullet by not using that, thanks. And DRAKON?!" Olteca demanded, shocked as Zinnia finished her transformation. "It's just a mashup of Kamen Rider Solomon and the Dragon Orphnoch!"

"Even if these suits are kitbashes, it'll still be more than powerful enough to defeat you!" Zinnia declared.

Olteca burst into laughter. "You seriously still think you can stop me? I can still turn into a Deadman! One even stronger than that form!"

He fired an energy blast at Hiromi, forcing the archer to duck for cover, and quickly produced a new Vistamp.

KRAKEN!

With a hiss of fury, Ampaz bit his wrist, causing him to scream and drop the Vistamp. "YOU BITCH!" He screamed, lashing out with one of his grasshopper legs, but her serpentine body allowed her to undulate out of the way. "I'LL KILL… You… Why's head spinning?" He slurred, wavering on his feet.

"Because I just bit you and injected my most potent venom into your body," Ampaz said smugly. "You're lucky I'm not one of the elite members of my society, or you'd already be dead!"

Olteca groaned, skin turning pale, black veins forming on his face and wrist. "Ugh… You think… This will do anything more than inconvenience me? This body… Doesn't die easily! I'll just metabolize the venom… And kill you all!"

"But can you do it before I pull off a four-Vistamp Full Genomix?" Tamaki asked.

Olteca gave him an incredulous look. "Four- that's not possible! Even I was only able to make it to three!"

"Hikaru thought it was possible. We all laughed at him… But maybe there was something to it," Tamaki said, raising the first Vistamp. "Let's find out, shall we?"

DOMINATE UP! HOPPER! GENOMIX!

DOMINATE UP! CONDOR! GENOMIX!

DOMINATE UP! SCORPION! GENOMIX!

DOMINATE UP! ANOMALOCARIS! GENOMIX!

Tamaki cried out, energy crackling around his body as his legs became the grasshopper-esque Demon Bottom Higher, the Demon Ridolstringer scorpion tail emerged from his rear, the Demon Rumblejoker wings stretched from his back, and the Demon Bladior claws formed on his arms.

"No… No, no, no, NO!" Olteca shrieked. "That's not possible!"

"For a Kamen Rider… ANYTHING is possible!" Tamaki declared, causing Ampaz to swoon and Hiromi to nod in approval.

MORE! HOPPER! CONDOR! SCORPION! ANOMALOCARIS! DEMONS REQUIEM!

"How about five? Let's up the ante a little." Zinnia said.

DOMINATE UP! COBRA! GENOMIX!

DOMINATE UP! BEE! GENOMIX!

DOMINATE UP! KRAKEN! GENOMIX!

DOMINATE UP! WOLF! GENOMIX!

DOMINATE UP! GOOSE! GENOMIX!

Zinnia cried out, energy crackling around her body as her legs became a kraken-esque Demon Bottom Higher, a Demon Ridolstringer bee stinger emerged from her rear, goose Demon Rumblejoker wings stretched from her back, and Demon Bladior wolf claws formed on her arms and her mask gained cobra teeth.

Olteca facepalmed. "Okay, that's just not fair."

"For a Kamen Rider… ANYTHING is possible!" Zinnia declared, causing Cyclonis to swoon and Hiromi to nod in approval.

MORE! COBRA! GOOSE! KRAKEN! BEE! WOLF! DRAKON REQUIEM!

With a flex of her kraken legs, Zinnia shot forwards, lashing Olteca with her tendrils and sending him flying. Her wings spread, launching a dozen white feathers which streaked through the air and impaled Olteca, before thrusting out her new stinger, which wrapped around his waist and threw him towards Tamaki. With a flex of his grasshopper legs, Tamaki shot forwards, slashing Olteca with his claws and sending him flying. His wings spread, launching a dozen purple feathers which streaked through the air and impaled Olteca, before thrusting out his scorpion tail, which wrapped around his waist and smashed him deeper into the ground.

Drawing his tail back, Tamaki crouched down and then launched into the air, all of his added parts glowing different colors, then shot down at Olteca in a flying kick. Drawing her tail back, Zinnia also crouched down and then launched into the air, all of her added parts glowing different colors, then shot down at Olteca in a flying kick. Olteca looked up at them, snarled, and tried to jump away…

Only to fall to his knees, the venom still weakening him. "Dammit! Her bite… Is a lot worse than I thought… Oh shi-"

Zinnia and Tamaki landed their kicks, and they were engulfed in a violent red explosion.

When the smoke cleared, Zinnia and Tamaki were standing tall.

Olteca, clothes shredded and covered in blood, one of his grasshopper legs broken, wasn't standing at all.

"You did it!" Cyclonis exclaimed joyously, only to gasp when Zinnia grunted and fell to one knee, her armaments vanishing. "Zinny!"

"I'm okay," she insisted, panting. "I'm okay! That… That move just took a lot out of me. Wow. I can't believe I did that." She blinked, then looked up at her. "Was I cute and cool?"

"You did it!" Ampaz exclaimed joyously, only to gasp when Tamaki grunted and fell to one knee, his armaments vanishing. "Tamaki!"

"I'm okay," he insisted, panting. "I'm okay! That… That move just took a lot out of me. Wow. I can't believe I did that." He blinked, then looked up at her. "Was I… Was I actually just cool?"

"You both were," Hiromi confirmed as he approached, nodding at the Demons Troopers, who had finished off all of the Giff Juniors, who quickly surrounded Olteca to restrain him, only him to teleport to Foundation Prime because of a portal opening under him. "That was very impressive, Zinnia. I don't think even at my prime I could've pulled off a finisher with that many Vistamps. I'm almost certain that Hikaru couldn't, at least not without putting himself in the hospital."

He regarded Zinnia and Tamji for a moment, and then smiled. "You know… I think you might actually have what it takes to be great Kamen Riders."

Zinnia gawked at him, astonished. "You… You really think so, Mr. Kadota?!"

Hiromi nodded. "Without a shadow of a doubt."

"My girlfriend is the coolest!" Cyclonis squealed, glomping the dazed Zinnia, kissing her on the cheek. "You're my hero!"

"I'm… I'm your-" Zinnia was reduced to blubbering, tears running down her face, not that it was visible through her mask.

"My boyfriend is the coolest!" Ampaz squealed, glomping the dazed Tamaki, kissing him on the cheek. "You're my hero!"

"I'm… I'm your-" Tamaki was also reduced to blubbering, tears running down his face, not that it was visible through his mask.

Gently pushing her off of him, he got to his feet. "Tamaki?" She asked, disappointed.

Gently pushing Cyclonis off of her, she got to her feet. "Zinny?" She asked, disappointed.

"We may have beaten Olteca," she said. "But there's still work to be done. Mr. Kadota! Let's work together to save the park!"

Hiromi smiled and extended his hand. "I would like nothing more."

The former Demons shook hands with his successor and the new Kamen Rider.

---

It wasn't until a few moments after he started running that Giff realized he hadn't consciously decided to move in the direction of the screaming. Just like in the laser tag arena, his body seemed to be moving on its own.

Fascinating. Why did this happen a second time?

He wasn't even remotely surprised that Yukimi, Akane and Johnathan were keeping pace with him. An ordinary human Yukumi might've been and a Shark Fangire Johnathan may be, but they were no less a hero than Yukimi's husband and children in his eyes, as well Yuina's parents to their child. After all, no mere human or Fangire could possibly be counted as a member of his family!

Giff was aghast when they came upon a mob of Giff Juniors along with other minions attacking civilians and staff and tearing apart attractions. "What… What is this?!" He stammered. He quickly glanced at Yukimi. "Yukimi, I swear, I have no idea what's happening-"

"Can you stop them?" She asked him sharply.

"Of course I can!" Giff scoffed. "All of you, cease this foolishness at once!"

All of the minions stopped in place, many of them frozen in mid-attack. The terrified civilians stared at the paralyzed demons, shocked, then looked at Giff in fright and confusion.

They were afraid of him. Why were they afraid of him? He had just saved them!

… It was happening again. Why was it happening-

Yukimi touched his shoulder. "Find out what's going on," she told him.

"Oh, of course." Turning back to his minions, he declared, "Explain yourselves!"

"Lord Giff!" They all shouted, immediately going down to one knee. "We have found you, just as Akaishi ordered!"

Yukimi gasped, and Giff bristled. "Akaishi?! He's here?! What is he thinking?!"

"Lady Yukimi! Lady Akane! Lord Johnathan! Lord Giff! We found you!"

Azuma, Fortune, Princess, Aguilera and Astarte rushed over, looks of relief on their faces.

"Azuma, Astarte, Princess, Fortune, Aguilera, what's going on?" Yukimi demanded. "Where's my family?!"

"They're fighting Akaishi, Daiji, the Deadlight members and the Deadmans executives," Astarte informed her.

"Daiji showed up?!" Yukimi cried, a mingled look of relief and dismay crossing her face. "And… Wait, the executives? I thought they were dead!"

"Oh, no, they were all actually transported to my dimension so I could feed off their demons," Giff explained. "They've been there the whole time."

Yukimi gave him a skeptical look. "Really? That seems rather contrived."

"What are they doing here?" Giff demanded. "Why are they attacking the park? I did not authorize anything like this!"

"My Lord, when you decided to spend the day with your family, did you inform Akaishi ahead of time?" Azuma asked.

"I don't have to clear everything with him! He serves me, not the other way around!" Giff snapped. "I left Olteca to tell him what I was up to!"

"Well, apparently that wasn't good enough for him," Astarte snarked.

"Why would he think I would do something like that?!" A bamboozled Giff demanded.

"Because you have several times before?" Astarte said pointedly.

Giff stood in awkward silence. "Yes. Well. Be that as it may, this is still a disproportionate response!"

"On that we can agree," Astarte admitted.

"Your family is very loyal to you, my Lord," Azuma said proudly. "When Akaishi demanded they relinquish you, every last one of them refused."

"Everyone?" Giff asked, astonished. "Even you, Hana?"

"Even me," Hanna confirmed.

"That's… Why… Why would…" Giff stammered, dumbfounded.

"Because you're family, Giff," Yukimi said sweetly. "I told you as much, didn't I?"

The elder demon looked as if he were on the brink of tears. He sniffed and wiped his eyes, then, with a shaky voice, said, "Well… Such loyalty shall not go unrewarded."

Turning to the motionless demons, he commanded, "All of you are to cease attacking at once. Repair the damage you have done and then depart this place at once."

"Say less!" All of the minions shouted, getting up to do just that.

Giff turned back to Hanna, Astarte and Azuma, eyes narrowed in anger. "Now, take us to the others. I think it's high time Akaishi and I had a little chat…"

---

Screaming incoherently, Daiji attacked Vail, slashing him repeatedly with the Livegun's blade, leaving blue energy trails in the air. Vail, seeming bored, didn't even move, using two fingers to block every strike before finally catching the blade between them. "Is this the extent of your power? How disappointing."

Revving up his Crimson Vail Vistamp, he attempted to strike Daiji with it, only for the Rider to disappear in a burst of white feathers. "Eh?"

He felt the end of a gun against the back of his head. "Disappointed now?"

HOLY JUSTICE FINISH!

Daiji pulled the trigger, and Vail's head exploded, splattering Daiji…

With red and black paint?

"What-" Daiji stammered as the decapitated body dissolved into paint.

"Yes."

CRIMSON IMPACT!

Vail struck Daiji with his Vistamp from behind, red and black paint spraying everywhere. Daiji cried out as he was flung to the ground. The demon approached, but Daiji quickly flipped over and fired a dozen energy bullets at Vail, who swiped his Vistamp through the air, creating a paint shield to defend himself.

"You… You couldn't do that before!" Daiji cried almost petulantly, getting back to his feet.

"Now that I've been reunited with Genta, I'm stronger than I've ever been," Vail bragged. "Something you, who killed your own demon, can never understand."

Daiji flinched at this.

"Oh? Have I struck a nerve?"

"He… He didn't give me a choice," Daiji protested, Livegun trembling. "It was him or me. He said as much himself. Only one of us could live."

"I thought the same about Genta and myself," Vail told him. "And yet here we are. Are you certain there's nothing more you could have done to change his mind? That this was truly the only way?"

"Of course it was!" Daiji snapped, the doubt very clear in his voice.

"Then why do you still feel guilty?" Vail taunted. "Why are you so unsure of yourself? Why do you sometimes wonder if maybe the wrong one of you died that day?"

"… Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!" Daiji screamed, charging at Vail, firing his Livegun and forcing Vail to use his Vistamp to deflect the bullets.

Grunting in irritation, the demon charged up his Vistamp and swiped it at Daiji, only for him to explode in white feathers. Vail hesitated only for a fraction of a second, then launched into a roundhouse kick, striking Daiji as he tried to attack him from behind, knocking him back. Daiji disappeared into feathers again, and Vail charged up his Vistamp and spun it around him, creating a circular slash of paint which struck Daiji as he reappeared and pushed him back again. He vanished once more, and Vail promptly jumped to the side just as Daiji reappeared above him, screaming furiously as he shot downwards, driving his blade into the ground hard enough to crack it.

Vail threw a punch at him, but Daiji activated another finisher.

HOLY JUSTICE FINISH!

He parried Vail's attack, slashing him with a blue energy blade that caused him to grunt and take a step back, then drove the Livegun into his gut and fired it at point blank range, causing Vail to scream as cyan blue energy blades exploded out of his back, leaving a huge hole in his chest.

Daiji gasped for breath as Vail collapsed to the ground. "I… I did it! I finally beat-"

The corpse dissolved into paint.

"… No! NO! Not again!"

There was a hand on his shoulder.

"You know, Daiji," Vail whispered into his ear. "If you had actually hit me with that, you'd probably have killed your father too? I hadn't realized you hated him that much."

Daiji stiffened in horror. He hadn't even thought about that! "That's… No! I-I didn't mean-"

"Not thinking things through is starting to become a recurring problem for you, isn't it?" Vail taunted him. "Don't worry. I've thought this through perfectly."

CRIMSON FINISH!

Charging up his Vistamp, Vail punched Daiji in the back with it, flinging him away. Daiji managed to regain his footing, whirled around, and tried to shoot Vail, but the demon struck his Livegun with an uppercut, nearly knocking the weapon out of his grasp. Crimson paint and energy engulfed his lower leg, and he hit Daiji with a side kick, emanating crimson and black fire and creating several red energy waves on impact, engulfing Daiji in an explosion.

The middle Igarashi child hit the ground, knocking over the remaining Deadlight members, Vega, Joey and Doll, knocked out of his transformation, his uniform torn and bloody and splattered with red and black paint. Daiji laid there for a minute, struggling to breathe, and then screamed in anguish and frustration.

"As I said," Vail said, picking up the Holy Wing Vistamp, which had been flung away in the blast, and examined it with interest.

Was that…

Hmmm. Interesting.

"You are a disappointment," Vail continued, flinging the Vistamp at Daiji's feet and turning away.

"Don't… Don't you turn your back on me!" Daiji rasped, struggling to sit up.

Vail rolled his eyes. "Daiji, you are not the hero of this story. This is not the part where you gain your resolve and continue to fight despite being in bad shape, overwhelming your much stronger adversary and proving the strength of your convictions. You're not even a villain. You're the fallen hero, too consumed by jealousy and pride to admit that you made a mistake and you're on the wrong side, but too weak to actually be anything more than an ineffectual threat."

"I'm not weak!" Daiji shouted, producing a new Vistamp. "I'll show you… Everyone… Even Akaishi… I'm not a joke! I'm not weak!"

GIRAFFE!

CONFIRMED! VERSUS UP! OVER DRIVE! POWER DIVE! KAMEN RIDER LIVE! GIRAFFE!

Vail stared.

Daiji was now wearing a variation of his base suit with yellow and white upper chest armor with an emblem resembling a giraffe's head on it. In place of the head, he had a massive black and white spotted pillar which rose a third of his height into the air, terminating in an incredibly derpy-looking head resembling a cross between a giraffe and Kamen Rider Grease.

Daiji fell to his knees and burst into tears.

Vail facepalmed. "God dammit, George."

On the sidelines, George laughed hysterically, earning him a disappointed "Ook" from Georgina.

Vail sighed and lowered his Vistamp. "Daiji. The reason you keep failing isn't because of your family, or Akaishi, or the loss of Kagerou, or your Vistamps – though honestly, they probably aren't helping-"

Daiji sobbed at this.

"The only thing that's really holding you back is yourself," Vail continued. "And until you realize that, you'll never be anything more than a laughingstock."

He turned and walked away, leaving the pathetic giraffe man behind as Birch took his driver and Vistamps, leaving him for the Demon troopers to take into custody.

[should probably leave him to his internal struggle]

[yeah. anyway demon that can kick my ass hot]

GLaDOS: [Oh. I see what VoidBot meant by hating the horny ones.]

GLaDOS: [I wonder if I still have access to the neurotoxin facilities…]

[oh no scary robot lady got the poison]

[shit I just made the top of the list didn't I]

[maybe we should stop talking guys]

GLaDOS: [No, keep going. You're saving me the trouble of compiling a list of targets myself.]

…

Genta shouted as he tried hitting Akaishi with rapidfire punches from both hands and his Herclaws. The Giffdemos chuckled, purple shockwaves emanating from his hands to form a force field blocking the other man's attacks. "It's no use, Genta, you can't hope to penetrate my barrier. And even if you could, it wouldn't do any-"

DESTREAM NOVA!

Revving up his drill, Genta thrust it into the force field, sparks flying as he ground it against the barrier.

Akaishi frowned. "Weren't you listening? I just said-"

Ignoring him, Genta ignited his Komodo Dragonic Heat and pointed it at his drill, setting the Croco Wizarolling on fire.

Akaishi scowled. "Okay, are you just ignoring me? That's extremely rude-"

Genta pointed his left hand at him, launching flames at the barrier, adding to the blaze around his drill and covering the force field in fire.

"I told you, that won't do any-"

Genta drew back his Herclaws, then thrust them forwards at a single point, converging on the spot he was drilling. Crying out, he pushed them forward as far as he could, then started to slowly pull them away from the drill…

And a tiny hole began to form in the barrier, the tip of the drill just starting to break through.

Akaishi stared in disbelief. "That's… No. That's not possible! How are you doing that?!"

Genta laughed raucously. "Would you believe the power of human potential?"

"No! Not even remotely!"

"Then maybe it's this," Genta grinned, the barrier continuing to break as he kept hitting it with flames and thrusting his drill through the hole the Herclaws were slowly pulling open. "You're very strong, Akaishi. Immortal, even. But… That's part of the problem, isn't it? You're so used to being able to just heal all your wounds to outlast your opponent, you've let the rest of your abilities, as formidable as they may be, atrophy."

"That's preposterous! There's no way that's true!" Akaishi protested, a part of him worrying his foe was right.

"Maybe you're right," Genta conceded. "But maybe it's this. Think about it. Both of us have Giff cells in our bodies, don't we? And I've spent all day with him, having fun, bonding with him, getting to know him better as a person. Treating him like a friend and family member, not a boss or God. As a person. Maybe those cells inside of us realize that Giff favors me more because I appreciate him for who he is, not what he is… Giving me the strength to keep fighting!"

"No!" Akaishi shouted, pouring more energy into maintaining his barrier, startled to discover it didn't seem to be enough. "I have served Giff for countless millennia! I formed a contract with him! It is me he trusts, not you!"

"Then why didn't he bother telling you he was going to visit us himself? Why didn't he even leave a note?" Genta taunted. "Maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do! Maybe Giff is starting to get sick of you!"

"No… No, that can't be true! You're lying!" Akaishi shrieked petulantly. "I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you!"

"And you think that'll make him love you?" Genta retorted. "Killing the people he spent the whole day bonding with and having fun?"

"SHUT UP!" Akaishi started gathering energy for an attack…

And was startled when his barrier almost collapsed, forcing him to quickly divert power back to reinforce it. Dammit, how could he counter attack like this? If he took even a little energy away from his force field, the Rider would hit him!

He just needed a minute, he was thousands of years old, surely he could think of a way out of this-

CRIMSON IMPACT!

Akaishi cried out as Vail punched him in the back, splattering him with paint and causing his concentration to waver for just a moment-

DESTREAM NOVA!

And the barrier shattered, Genta burying his drill in the ancient immortal's stomach, causing him to howl in torment as it ground through his insides, flames engulfing his entire body.

"Let's finish this… Best buddy!" Vail declared, charging up his Vistamp.

Genta burst into laughter, both of his armaments dissipating as Akaishi continued to flail about, burning alive. "Knew I would get you to say that some day! Come on!"

CRIMSON FINISH!

DESTREAM FINISH!

As Vail coated his lower leg in paint, polygons made from lines of cyan energy emanated from Genta's fist before he delivered a running punch surrounded by additional red and blue energy to Akaishi, causing him to double over in pain. He then turned to face him again before channeling streams of cyan energy into his lower leg, which was then covered by cyan energy itself. He and Vail performed a side kick at the same time, with several cyan energy components appearing before attaching to his leg, forming a Hercules beetle's head. The energy beetle's head spun and was surrounded by a cone of cyan and red energy, acting similar to a drill. Cyan electricity was generated as the energy beetle head struck Akaishi at the same time as Vail's finisher.

The duo then dramatically turned away as Akaishi wailed in anguish, red and black and cyan energy crackling around him, before he collapsed and exploded.

"You messed with the wrong family," Genta said gravely.

"Nobody gets to screw around with the Igarashis but me," Vail declared, the two of them performing a pretty cool secret handshake without even looking.

Daiji, having lost his transformation tools, stared at his father and his father's demon in disbelief as he got cuffed. He couldn't believe it. After everything Vail had done, everything he'd put the family through… He and Genta were able to work together as partners and equals.

"Why… Kagerou… Why couldn't we have been like that?" He whimpered.

Suddenly, maniacal laughter rang out from the blaze. Genta and Vail turned around in surprise just as the fire dissipated, revealing Akaishi back in his human form, his clothes in tatters, covered in burns and blood…

All of which was rapidly vanishing as his body healed itself.

"An impressive feat of teamwork… But it is meaningless!" Akaishi cried. "Have you forgotten? I am immortal! No matter how hard you knock me down… I will always get back up again!"

"Tch! He's right. That kind of resolve is the kind of thing you'd expect from one of you annoying heroes, not a bastard like him," Vail growled.

"If you just get back up… We'll keep knocking you down again, until you learn when to stay down!" Genta declared. "Your body may be limitless… But so is our resolve!"

"You tell him, dad!"

Ikki and Vice, still in their Neo-Hopper Genomes, rushed over to join the senior human and demon duo. Understandably, they did a double take when they realized Vail was there. "Dad?!" Vice exclaimed in disbelief.

Vail nodded at the other demon. "Hello, Vice. Weren't expecting to see me again, were you?"

"I was hoping we wouldn't!" Vice cried, hiding behind his partner.

"Dad, what's he doing here?" Ikki protested.

"Don't worry, son, he's on our side now," Genta assured his son.

"… Well, if you say so…" Ikki murmured doubtfully.

"Don't forget, Ikki, if he causes trouble, we're more than strong enough now to take him down for good!" Sakura reminded her brother as she and Lovekov joined them.

"Grandpa! Do you promise to be good?" Lovekov demanded of the older demon.

Vail groaned and rolled his eyes. "Yes, Lovekov, I'll be good."

"Yay!"

Abruptly, Lovekov hugged Vail, much to his astonishment. "Welcome to the family, grandpa!" She cried, squeezing him affectionately.

Vail stammered. "That's… You don't… Get off of me-"

"You have so many missed holidays and birthday parties to make up for, love!" Lovekov cheered happily. "Wait, no, I don't think I've actually had a birthday yet… Well, when I do, I expect something really nice!"

"Hey, can I get something good for my birthday too, gramps?" Vice asked, immediately coming out from behind Ikki at this lucrative prospect. "Some money would be nice!"

Vail's eye twitched as Lovekov continued hugging him and Ikki and Sakura stifled laughter. "I have many, many regrets."

"Don't worry, you'll lose those soon enough," Hanna remarked, abruptly glomping Sakura from behind. "The benefits way outweigh the toll it takes on your sanity! Hey babe, you miss me?"

"Always," Sakura replied, patting her on the head and causing her to swoon.

"Curses… Did none of the Deadmans executives do their jobs?!" A frustrated Akaishi demanded.

"Well what do you expect, we beat them all before!" Vice jeered.

"Yeah, and their power boost basically amounted to a new color scheme and some minor tweaks to their costumes! So lazy! It's no wonder they lost!" George cried from the sidelines.

Akaishi snarled, then chuckled. "Ah, but it seems that Olteca has not disappointed me…" He said cruelly as Kamen Rider Over Demons approached, shocking everyone else. "I'm a little surprised you needed to transform to deal with that loose end Tamaki and his serpent. Was your current power not enough? Or did you just feel like killing them as hard as possible?"

Ikki gasped. "Wait… That's not Hikaru?!"

"Then… Does that mean…!" Hana cried, the implications suddenly striking her. No… There was no way… Tamaki couldn't possibly be…!

"No, we encountered him on our way to the park. He was easy enough to defeat and take the Demons Driver from," Akaishi crooned as Over Demons walked over to him. "And now, once again, Olteca has become the superior-"

DEMONS FINISH!

DRAKON FINISH!

Four cable-like mechanical appendages extended from the Rider's back and grabbed the startled Akaishi in their manipulators, pulling him close and allowing Drakon to slash him with her shoulder wing, charged with teal energy, nearly cutting him in half.

Akaishi cried out as he was flung away, the massive gash in his stomach was already healing. "Olteca! What is the meaning of this?!"

"I'm sorry, you've got the wrong former Deadmans," Over Demons spoke up, shocking everyone because it was in Tamaki's voice! "He's gone, sucked into who knows where, as for what we saw, Daiji's going to jail for a long time."

"Tamaki!" Hana exclaimed in relief. "You're okay! And… A Kamen Rider?!"

"Zinnia?! You're a Kamen Rider!"

George's jaw dropped. "No… No way! There's no way freaking Tamaki could become a Rider and take down Olteca!"

"He can and he did," Hiromi declared, appearing on top of a nearby booth, coat billowing dramatically in the wind.

Daiji gaped. "Hiromi?!"

"Hiromi, Hiromi! Love love!" Lovekov squealed joyously, throttling Vail.

"Ohhh do I want to take that man out for parufaits," George moaned lustfully.

"No way! Our little Tamaki really did all that?!" An amazed Vice demanded.

Hiromi nodded. "I saw with my own eyes, as did over a dozen other witnesses."

"He was so dreamy!" Ampaz swooned, suddenly appearing beside Tamaki and draping herself over him. "This is the man I'm going to marry one day!"

"A-Ampaz!" Tamaki exclaimed, flustered.

George stared, then turned to Georgina. "You're seeing this too, right? Tamaki is a hero? And apparently good with the ladies?!"

"Ook," she replied.

"Goddamn!"

"It's over, Akaishi! You've lost!" Ikki declared.

"As usual!" Vice taunted.

"I suggest you either withdraw your forces and leave this park immediately, or else you'll find yourself facing the wrath of an entire family of Kamen Riders," Hiromi said, gesturing as his Demon Troopers filed into the area. "With help!"

Akaishi gnashed his teeth and cried out in frustration. "Damn it!" Energy started crackling around his form. "Fine then… I'll wipe out this entire park if that's what it takes!"

Daiji started. "What?!"

"That's crazy! If you blow up the park, you'll blow up Giff, too!" Tamaki protested.

"He'll survive," Akaishi said flippantly as he started forming a massive energy ball over his head. "You won't!"

He gestured, and a portal opened, disgorging Vega. "Delay them! I will only need a few moments to gather the necessary power to wipe this park off the face of the earth!"

"Very well, I'll show them the ultimate beauty." Vega said as he charged towards the Riders. "Dammit," Genta cursed. "We don't have time for this!"

"Don't worry, partner, we can take him easy," Vail said confidently.

"That's never not going to be weird," Vice complained.

"I'm really feeling it now… Okay, let's do this-" Ikki began.

[R]

[O]

[C]

[K]

[I]

[N]

[G]

[T]

[H]

[E]

[E]

[N]

[D]

[!]

Without warning, an armored figure leapt over the Demons Troopers and Igarashi family (and Associates) and landed a powerful punch to his chest, before leaping into the air and crashing down with a Rider Kick shrouded by blue energy, sending Vega flying.

ROCKING THE END!

"What?" Erxkadnmlae asked as George started screaming shrilly in excitement.

"Riders of the new age," Kamen Rider Type-1 declared, muffler blazing. "Remember to always leap towards your dreams!"

[M]

[E]

[T]

[S]

[U]

[B]

[O]

[U]

[J]

[I]

[N]

[R]

[A]

[I]

[I]

[M]

[P]

[A]

[C]

[T]

[!]

A purple armored figure shot down from the sky with a flying kick, abstract energy projections forming in its wake. With a sonic boom, the figure hit the ground as the projections suddenly all lined up to form the emblem of MetsubouJinrai dot net, crushing Vega as well as leaving an imprint in the ground in the shape of the emblem.

METSUBOUJINRAI IMPACT!

"Vega will be extinct!" Kamen Rider MetsubouJinrai declared in English for some reason, and George started jabbering happily.

"Another one?!" An astonished Akaishi cried. "How many more of you are there?!"

"Well, there's me, for one!"

[L]

[O]

[N]

[E]

[W]

[O]

[L]

[F]

[I]

[M]

[P]

[A]

[C]

[T]

[!]

A dark blue armored figure leapt into the air, blue lines of energy produced from his legs and surrounding his body. His foot became covered with that energy and he launched into a flying kick which produced a circular pattern, followed by an energy emblem of circuitry. A blue energy construct of a Wolf's head formed around his foot as he crashed into the remaining True Gifftarians, annihilating them all in a spectacular blue explosion and blasting another circular pattern into the ground on impact.

LONE WOLF IMPACT!

"Vega… I will crush him!" Kamen Rider Vulcan declared as a squealing George shook an utterly unimpressed Georgina.

"He, uh, doesn't mean us, right?" Vice asked nervously while Lovekov gushed over how cool he was.

"Or me," Tamaki whimpered.

"Or us!" The Demons Troopers cried.

"I could take him," Vail insisted.

"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!" Vega screamed.

"Wait, I recognize the blue one… That's… Kamen Rider Vulcan, the secondary Rider of Kamen Rider Zero-One," Sakura realized, remembering him from George's presentation on secondary Riders and why she would make a perfect one. "But… He's dead! What's he doing here?!"

"All of them are dead," Ampaz announced reverently, an awestruck look in her eyes. "St. Fuwa, the Hound of Zea, the lone wolf who travels the land, fighting evil, all in accordance with his own rules!"

"I'm a wolf, not a hound!" Vulcan exclaimed.

"The Fourfold Arkseeker MetsubouJinrai, who seeks out and eliminates malice wherever they find it in their never ending battle to vanquish the Muse and gain redemption for their past sins!"

"Malice will be extinct," MetsubouJinrai announced.

"And Primogenitor Soreo Hiden I, father of Aruto Hiden, who gave his life to stop the Ark during the Daybreak Incident and set his son on the path to becoming the first hero of the Reiwa era!"

"I couldn't be more proud of him," Soreo bragged.

"Hey, I was on way too much that time!" Ark clarified. "And maybe during my time facing Aruto."

"I know the feeling," Genta said, glancing proudly at his children.

"Agreed." Johnathan said, glancing at Yuina

"All of them perished, but their souls are forever preserved in the Celestial Databanks, and in times of great need, will be manifested by Zea to vanquish those who threaten the innocent!" Ampaz gushed.

"So they're ghosts?!" Tamaki wailed, hiding behind his girlfriend.

"Holy ghosts," Ampaz emphasized.

"I don't see any holes in them," Voidlon joked, causing everyone to groan, except for Yang and Fuwa, who abruptly burst into laughter.

Soreo shook his head in amusement. "That's the sort of joke my son would make…"

"You'll all become ghosts in a minute!" Akaishi cried, now hoisting an energy ball several times his size over his head. "You're too late, all of you! Now, this park, and all of you, will become history!"

"But there's lots of people who aren't guys here too! Why not call it herstory? Or maybe theirstory! We could ask Touma Kamiyama for help, he writes all sorts of stories! And that's how you know it's an Aruto!"

Vega stared in disbelief at Kamen Riders Zero-Two and Zea-Ro, who had just appeared. "… QUÉ?!"

George could only stare, a blissful expression on his face, as Fuwa doubled over in laughter again.

"That's… President Aruto!" Ikki realized. "And… Izu? She's a Rider, too?!"

"And what a Rider," an aroused Sakura murmured.

"Yeah," Hanna, who would normally be consumed with jealousy at Sakura looking at another woman, agreed dreamily.

"Director Akaishi, I suggest you put that energy ball down right now," Aruto declared.

"Not literally, of course, because that would destroy the entire park," Izu pointed out.

"Right, that," Aruto agreed quickly. "Hiden Land is a place where everyone can smile and laugh and have fun, and all you've done is make people afraid!"

"Blame the Igarashi family! They're the ones who brought Lord Giff here in the first place, putting everyone at risk!" Akaishi insisted.

"The entity known as Giff has been… Not exactly a model guest, but he has done his best to adhere to the rules," Izu pointed out. "The only one putting anyone at risk is you."

"Yeah! What she said!" Fuwa agreed.

"There's only one couple who can stop you…" Aruto began.

"And that's us!" Izu finished.

"… Wow, they're a really cute couple," an amazed Tamaki remarked.

"An absolute Best Match!" Ampaz agreed.

Akaishi scoffed. "Preposterous! You may have destroyed a machine or two, but I am a being of a higher order, an immortal, nearly perfect fusion of demon and man that cannot be-"

Aruto and Izu's eyes glowed, and Akaishi's words died on his tongue.

What…

What was this? This divine pressure?

Something was staring at him through their eyes. A massive unblinking mechanical eye, far larger than the fabled Great Eye of the Ganma, positioned in the center of the cosmos, ringed by metal halos and wings and surrounded by millions of souls made of compressed code. The eye stared right through him, into his soul, peeling it back layer by layer, laying all bare before its lidless gaze.

It found him wanting.

How was this possible?! How could humanity make a God of their own which, in such a short amount of time, a blink of the eye for an immortal such as himself, had already amassed so much power?!

It didn't matter. No matter how strong this new God was, it couldn't stop him. All he needed to do was move his arm and-

[Z]

[E]

[R]

[O]

[-]

[T]

[W]

[O]

[B]

[I]

[G]

[B]

[A]

[N]

[G]

[!]

[Z]

[E]

[A]

[-]

[R]

[O]

[S]

[U]

[P]

[E]

[R]

[N]

[O]

[V]

[A]

[!]

As Aruto crouched, red and green energy crackling around him, Izu spread her arms, the crystalline spines launching off of her limbs and transforming into miniature Rider and Lost Models which formed rings around the energy ball Akaishi had been generating, causing it to start changing color as they lifted it skyward. "What-"

Aruto shot forwards, hitting Akaishi with a horizontal flying kick so hard he left a boot print in his chest. Izu, moving so fast she might as well have teleported, appeared behind him, striking him with an upward kick which launched him into the air. The duo leapt after him, trailing lines of energy in their wake, striking him repeatedly with a series of unstoppable aerial high-speed punches and kicks, breaking limbs and shattering his bony armor.

Above them, the energy ball was now blue, and the Models broke apart, reassembling themselves to form a multicolored projection of Zea with the energy ball serving as Her eye. Aruto and Izu sprang off of Akaishi as the satellite's eye lit up and fired a massive energy beam downwards, vaporizing what remained of his armor and smashing him into the ground hard enough to crater it.

As the projection dissipated, its power spent, Aruto and Izu shot down towards the prone Giffdemos, hand-in-hand, their legs and

feet crackling with red and green and white and teal energy, hitting him with a massively powerful double kick which generated a spectacular explosion, tearing up the ground even further and utterly consuming Akaishi.

ZERO-TWO BIG BANG!

ZEA-RO SUPERNOVA!

The couple backflipped out of the flames and posed before the awestruck Igarashi family and Associates, who started applauding. They were still holding hands.

"Wait, why are we clapping? They just upstaged us in our own story!" Vice protested.

"Shut up, Vice," Ikki told him.

George suddenly woke up. "Did I miss anything awesome?!"

"Yes," Lovekov told him.

"GODDAMN!"

Georgina patted his shoulder sympathetically, nearly dislocating it.

Ampaz moaned and clutched her chest. "I think I just had a religious experience."

"I thought you worshiped Ouroboros, not Zea," Tamaki pointed out.

"And the two are courting, which will mean our pantheons will merge or something, it still counts!" Ampaz insisted.

"And that's what happens when you try to mess with Hiden Land while we're around!" Aruto declared. "They'd better go into hiding, unless they want to get a hiding!"

Just about everyone groaned, except for Yang, Voidlon and Fuwa, who doubled over in laughter, Fuwa's suit vanishing. "Showoffs," he muttered before fading away.

"All enemies are extinct!" MetsubouJinrai said, briefly splitting into four figures who smiled and nodded before fading away as well.

"Well done, son," Soreo said as his suit vanished as well, giving Aruto a thumbs up before disappearing too.

Aruto and Izu's suits vanished, revealing Aruto was smiling. "Thanks, dad."

END BGM

"No, seriously, why are they getting to show off and get emotional payoff, we're the stars-"

"Vice, shut it!"

"Kuzu."

"DON'T YOU START!"

"Hey, don't yell at my daughter!"

"Yes'm."

Ikki wiped his hands on his pants and offered everyone an apologetic smile. "So! That was a thing, wasn't it?"

"That is an understatement, Husband Aruto," Izu told him fondly.

"Seriously though, thanks, all of you," Aruto told the others. "You probably saved a lot of lives by keeping Akaishi and his toughest guys occupied. We'd have taken them down eventually, of course, but you saved us a lot of time, energy, and kept the park from being destroyed. I can never thank you enough for protecting this place. Like I said before, it means a lot to me."

"Hiden Land means a lot to my family as well," Genta said, as he and the rest of the Igarashis along with Yuina changed out of their Rider forms. "We've been coming here for years. We've made a lot of good memories here." He turned to Daiji, who was cuffed to a pole, staring in disbelief at the crater that had used to be Akaishi. "Isn't that right, son?"

Daiji couldn't bring himself to answer.

"Well, I hope this park will continue to be a place for you, your family, and your friends to make good memories in the future," Aruto told them. "Which is why, out of gratitude for helping to save the park, we're issuing you all lifetime passes!"

Everyone gasped. "No way, really?!" Hana asked eagerly.

"Yes way, really!" Aruto replied.

"Even us?" One of the Demons Troopers asked hopefully.

"Even you!" Aruto said enthusiastically. "Izu, hand them out!"

"Yes, husband Aruto," Izu replied, walking over to the excited Igarashi and Akagawa family, and Associates. She opened her mouth, printer noises emitting from it, and a sheaf of passes emerged from the orifice. She plucked them from her mouth and fanned them out before her.

Everyone exchanged looks, then shrugged and walked forwards to take them, Hiromi quickly scrambling down from his perch to try and claim one before they ran out, cursing himself for wanting to make a cool dramatic entrance.

"Hey, there's still a few left," Sakura noticed when all of the passes had been distributed.

"They are for your mother, Lady Astarte, Hana, Iona, Hime, Azuma, and Giff," Izu explained. "We'll give them their passes when they return."

"Oh, that makes sense."

"Where are they, anyway?" Tamaki wondered. "Shouldn't they have been back by now?"

"They'll be back when they're back," Genta said, unworried. "Hey, Mr. and Mrs. President, can Daiji get a pass too?"

"What?" Daiji asked, startled, as just about everyone else cried, "WHAT?!"

"Hey yeah, can he get one?" Ikki chimed in.

"Ikki, what are you thinking?!" Vice protested. "Daiji doesn't deserve a pass!"

"Vail got one."

"Trust me, I'm as surprised by that as you," the elder demon remarked.

"Well, I think that's up to Daiji," Aruto decided, glancing at the stunned Daiji. "Hey, Daiji. Want a lifetime pass once you pay your debt to society?"

Daiji stared at him incredulously, then looked at his family, who were all giving him hopeful looks. He swallowed, mouth suddenly dry as he got loaded into the prison van along with Joey as the Statue of Hiden is put back where it belongs as Zach and Ivy left through another portal. "I…"

"It's not… Over… Yet!"

Everyone turned in surprise as Akaishi managed to stagger out of the crater.

He was not in good shape. His clothes were bloody and in tatters, half his body was severely burned, and the other half looked as if it were calcifying. New flesh was struggling to grow over his burns, only to melt and run down his mangled body. The calcification seemed to be spreading, more and more of his body turning pale, cracking, and crumbling away, and part of his skull was exposed.

Tamaki, Ampaz, and Lovekov screamed and a few of the Demons Troopers threw up.

"Holy shit! You're still alive?!" Vice shouted.

"Have you… Forgotten?" Akaishi rasped. "I am… Immortal!"

"You don't really look very immortal right now," a very disturbed Hiromi pointed out.

Izu nodded in agreement. "Scans indicate you are undergoing rapid cell death. Your body is attempting to regenerate, but the damage is so great it is quite possible that you might die before that can happen."

"It's just a minor setback," Akaishi claimed. "I've had worse!"

His utterly calcified left arm suddenly snapped off and shattered on the ground.

"It'll grow back!"

It did not, in fact, grow back.

"Giff will fix it!"

"You really think he'll do that? Considering how you just tried to kill us and destroy the park?" Sakura argued.

"I am his most loyal and trusted servant! Of course he will!" Akaishi insisted.

Vail shook his head. "I don't think you know my father as well as you think you do, Akaishi."

"Shut up!" Akaishi snapped, energy gathering around his remaining hand. "I may not be able to destroy you or the park… But I still have enough strength left to keep you from claiming a total victory!"

And then, before anyone could stop him, he fired a powerful purple laser beam. Everyone braced themselves…

Only for the beam to pass right over their heads. For a moment, they thought he'd missed…

Until they realized the beam was heading straight for the Zea Wheel.

Aruto gasped. "No!"

"YES!" Akaishi cackled.

The beam streaked for the Ferris wheel…

Only to be met by a hand.

Giff, floating in front of the wheel, narrowed his eyes, easily holding the energy blast back with a single hand, and casually flung it to the side, causing it to strike a distant mountain and explode.

"He did it! Giff stopped it, love!" Lovekov cheered.

Giff descended towards them, a sinister air surrounding him, his goofy disguise and sunglasses disintegrating from the energy his body was generating. Suddenly, he no longer seemed like the weird, awkward, somewhat endearing being they'd spent the whole day with.

Now, he seemed like what he really was: a demon king.

Akaishi laughed brokenly as Giff landed before him. "You see! Lord Giff has returned! Now, he will make all of you pay-"

"Akaishi. Thank you," Giff said abruptly.

Akaishi blinked. "What? Oh, you're welcome, my Lord, I'm always willing to go above and beyond in your service-"

"Akaishi, you fool!" Azuma shouted as he, Hime, Iona, Astarte, and a worried Yukimi rushed onto the scene. "That's not what he's thanking you for!"

Akaishi gave him a confused look. "What? What do you-"

He was interrupted when, quite suddenly, Giff thrust a claw into his chest and ripped out his heart.

Tamaki passed out. Ampaz screamed. Vice threw up. Vail whistled, impressed.

"Goddamn!" George shouted.

"Holy-" Aruto swore.

"My… my Lord?" Akaishi stammered, shocked.

"Thank you," Giff said coolly, regarding him with abject loathing. "For reminding me that humans are the real demons."

Akaishi collapsed to his knees, one of which disintegrated, blood beginning to drip from the hole in his chest, only to dry up and turn to ash. "My Lord, I… I don't understand… I was just trying to help!"

"Help?!" Giff shouted, squeezing the heart and causing Akaishi to cry out. "I was having a lovely day out with my family, enjoying this wonderful amusement park and gaining a better understanding of the species I am to rule over! Does it look like I need help?!"

"I was worried… That someone else would… Would set you off," Akaishi said weakly. "That you would destroy the park, and harm many innocents."

Giff gave him an incredulous look, then gestured angrily at the devastation around them. At the flames consuming booths, smoke rising from various points around the park, the screams echoing from areas where the fighting had not yet ceased. "Akaishi, the only one trying to destroy the park and harm innocents is you!"

Akaishi had the grace to actually look embarrassed. "I… May have overreacted."

"No, really?!" Hibiki sneered.

Giff took several deep breaths, squeezing the heart like a stress toy and causing Akaishi to whimper. "I am very badly tempted to kill you for this, Akaishi."

"But… But my Lord, I've served you faithfully for centuries-" Akaishi protested.

"Why didn't you tell me about either world war?" Giff demanded. "Why didn't you tell me about you and Azuma falling out? Why haven't you given me the complete picture of what's happened in the millennia I've been gone? How am I to pass proper judgment on your species if you're leaving things out?"

"Well. Um. It's, you know, a lot happened," Akaishi said vaguely. "Kind of hard to summarize…"

"Actually, there's lots of videos online that do a good job of summing up historical events in manageable portions of time-" Akane started.

"SHUT UP, AKAGAWA!"

Giff squeezed the heart again, causing him to gasp. "Don't talk to my daughter or son like that ever again."

Genta blinked. "Wait. Did he just call us…?" He looked at the others, confused. "How should I feel about this?"

"Ask him for birthday presents!" Lovekov suggested.

Akane considered this. "That's actually not a bad idea."

Yukimi facepalmed.

"I am no longer convinced I can trust you, Akaishi," Giff continued.

"But… Master, of course you can trust me! I've only been working in your best interests!" Akaishi protested.

Giff gestured again at the ruins around them. "Okay, yeah, that looks bad, but-"

"Akaishi. When I was in my sarcophagus, did I look like a vagina?" Giff suddenly asked.

Akaishi blinked. "What? N-no, of course not, whatever gave you that idea?"

Giff narrowed his eyes. Without looking, he asked, "Daiji. Did I look like a vagina? Answer me truly."

Horrified and bewildered, Daiji shot his family a questioning look. They shrugged. "Um. Well. I mean, I didn't want to say anything…"

Akaishi blanched. "Daiji! You shouldn't say such things-"

"I am very tempted to kill you," Giff repeated, causing his acolyte to shut up. "However… I don't want my family to see that side of me today. And I don't want to desecrate this wonderful park anymore than it already has been by tarnishing it with your corpse. As such, I will spare your life… This time."

He leaned in very close, eyes glowing red. "But let me make this clear: you are on very thin ice. Do something like this again, try to harm my family or launch an attack without my permission… And I will make sure you understand the limits of your immortality. Do I make myself clear?"

Akaishi swallowed. "C-Crystal."

"Good." Giff stood back up and gestured, opening a portal leading back to Akaishi's office, which was being raided by Fanglars stealing all the weapons, Vistamps and basically all the money and resources Fenix had as cops went through the building. He callously threw the heart into a cop's hand, then turned his back on his disciple. "Get out of my sight. I'll heal you later. If I'm in the mood."

Terrified, Akaishi bowed his head repeatedly before dragging himself through the portal, which closed behind him as cops lifted him into a paddy wagon.

Giff sighed, then turned to Aruto and Izu, and much to everyone's surprise, bowed down in dogeza. "Mr. and Mrs. Hiden, I wish to apologize on behalf of my subordinate. While his actions were unsanctioned, as his master the responsibility lies with me. I assure you, I will offer whatever restitution is necessary to make amends."

"Oh, I'm sure that won't be necessary-" Aruto started.

"You could pay for the repairs to the park," Izu interrupted, much to his annoyance.

Giff looked up. "Certainly. I shall pay you whatever sum is necessary."

Izu named a sum.

"I shall pay the necessary fee," Anubis said, handing them a boatload of money.

"Do you even have any money?" Aruto wondered.

"That is another thing I will need to speak to Akaishi about, among many others," Giff acknowledged, standing back up. "Thank you for helping to stop him."

"Oh, no problem, we're good at stopping people, it's basically our catchphrase," Aruto assured him.

"Well… We had a great time with you today," Ikki continued. "It was… Nice, interacting with you this way. I feel like we understand you better, a lot more than we did before."

Yukimi nodded in agreement. "It's like I said before, Giff, no matter what you call yourself, after everything we've been through today, you are absolutely a member of our family, and nothing will change that."

"Do… Do you all really feel this way?" Giff asked hopefully, and had to fight back tears when they all nodded. "That's… I do not know how to describe what I'm feeling right now. This… Happiness. This sense of belonging. For most of my existence, I have been a being of solitude, but now… I think I am truly starting to understand what it means to be a family. Our experiences today have opened my eyes to many things. About humanity and about myself. There is much I did not understand about the world and the people in it, and while there is still much I do not know, I think I would like to... Together."

Astarte smiled fondly. "That sounds wonderful, Giff."

"We'd love to help you out, Great-grandpa Giff!" Lovekov promised.

"You could move into the bathhouse!" Ikki suggested eagerly.

"But you're not rooming with us!" Vice said quickly.

"Or us, it's going to be crowded enough in our room as it is," Vail added.

Genta frowned at him. "Wait, you're going to be rooming with Yukimi and me?"

'Well of course I am, where else would I sleep?" Vail asked.

"… Inside my heart?" Genta said slowly.

Vail laughed and patted him on the head condescendingly. "You're adorable."

"Hang on, don't I get a say in this-" Yukimi protested.

"You can sleep with me and Georgina!" George volunteered loudly and ecstatically. "And I totally promise not to take samples in your sleep!"

"You're totally going to take samples from him in his sleep," Sakura accused him.

"Yes, but he doesn't know that!" He hissed.

"The gorilla you refer to as 'Georgina' is property of Hiden Land and cannot be taken off these premises," Izu told him.

"Yeah, but I don't care," George replied flippantly.

"George, while your offer to allow Azuma and myself to room with you is most appreciated-" Giff began.

"Wait, since when was I a part of this?" Azuma asked in confusion.

Giff gave him a look. "Do you want to go back to sleeping in a cave?"

Azuma contemplated this. "Not particularly, no. Carry on."

"Hang on, I never said either of you could stay with us, the bathhouse is getting pretty crowded enough already-" Yukimi stammered.

"I am going to be staying with Yuina and her family. While I now understand my comprehension of humanity was flawed… I still am not convinced that you can save yourselves from extinction. True, there are many truly great individuals among you, heroes, sources of inspiration, trying to change the world. But… Is it enough?"

He gestured at the smoldering amusement park around them. "Kamen Riders and other heroes have been fighting to save this world nonstop for at least 50 years. And yet the world continues to be in danger, not just from aliens or monsters or evil organizations, but from more endemic issues that cannot be fixed just by kicking them in the face. Or, for the wealthier of you, throwing money at the problem."

"Money does help," Aruto pointed out.

"Yeah, but not all of us are lucky enough to be in charge of multibillion-dollar corporations," George commented.

"Fair," Aruto admitted reluctantly.

"While I will acknowledge that I still do not know enough about the current state of things to be certain, from what I've gleaned so far, I am not confident humanity will survive to the end of the century," Giff continued. "The X-Squad will be the ones to save you from yourselves, as they do it without need for morals, they'll do whatever is necessary to save this world and beyond."

"And Giff, X-Squad, Akagawas?" Yukimi said sweetly. "If you ever want to stop by and catch up or use the bathhouse… you all have an open invitation to visit. We would love to see you again."

"And we… would love to see you all as well," Giff rasped, struggling not to cry.

Forcing himself to withdraw from the loving embrace, he turned to Azuma, who was smiling at him fondly. "Come, Azuma. We must leave for our new home at once, before I… Before I change my mind and am tempted to stay with the Igarashis."

"And would that actually be such a bad thing, my lord?" The ancient assassin asked kindly.

"… Perhaps not," he said quietly. "But there is much for us to do to help save the omniverse."

Azuma bowed his head. "Indeed we cannot. Very well then. Igarashi family, thank you for the hospitality. It was an honor and privilege to meet you all."

"The open invitation extends to you as well," Yukimi added.

"I may very well take you up on that," Azuma said. He frowned, suddenly realizing they were missing something. "Wait… Lord Giff, our purchases, our souvenirs-"

"We'll make sure they get delivered to Yuina's house," Ikki promised.

"Oh, that's all right, then," Azuma said in relief.

"My family… Until we meet again… Farewell!" Giff declared.

"Goodbye, great grandpa Giff and Azuma!" Lovekov cheered.

Jafer: [Congrats on securing victory!]

DrakBot: [Hey boss! You saved an amusement park! Nice! Now get some sleep, you'll need it.]

[post-battle cuddles pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

[pog]

"Goodbye, Giff and Azuma!" Everyone else echoed.

"Ook," Georgina added.

Aruto and Izu continued kissing each other.

One of the Demons Troopers waved. Hiromi frowned at him, then shrugged and did the same thing.

Stifling tears, Giff waved to everyone, then walked through the portal, Azuma giving everyone a respectful bow before following suit, the gateway closing behind them.

"So... it wasn't a fluke," Erxkadnmlae said to himself, then looked down at his new ally as Vega pulled out the notes inside him and flung it to the X-Squad, silently emphasizing that they may do battle someday, and to be ready for it. "Still. This will be of use to our cause." He closed his hand up and looked into Yuina's eyes. "Zinner. We will meet again. And when we meet, you best be ready." Daruizen said, as a portal back to Foundation Prime opened up; one that he, the Deadlight members, the Chameleon Deadman, Doll and Vega walked toward and disappeared into. Once they left, the portal went with them, leaving the world as it was before.

---

Giff sighed as the portal closed behind them, now in the Akagawas house.

"Azuma. Thank you for agreeing to come with me," Giff told his most faithful servant.

"It was my pleasure, my lord. Besides, I really, really do not want to go back to that cave," Azuma said flatly. "And something tells me that if I stay by your side, I'll have more excitement than I've had in almost a century. I'm looking forward to it!"

"As am I," Giff agreed happily, only for his spirits to plummet almost immediately. "I miss them already."

"You will see them again soon, my Lord," Azuma assured him. "And in the meantime, at least we have our memories, and our souvenirs, once they arrive in the mail."

"Those are some nice souvenirs," Giff agreed. "Perhaps I shall wear some of the new clothes I obtained the next time I try to go out as Cousin Giffrey. In fact… Maybe I should start my exploration of modern humanity closer to here. If I talked to the residents of this city as Giffrey, I will surely learn many things they might be too afraid to say to my face!"

For some reason, Azuma stared at him for a rather long time. "Let's… table that idea for now," he said vaguely. "In the meantime, I think we should-"

They both started when they heard a chime. "What was that?!" Giff cried.

"It came from you," a startled Azuma observed.

"What?! I don't chime! There's no part of my body that chimes! Trust me, I've checked!" Giff protested, patting himself down, and was surprised to find an unfamiliar object.

No, wait, it was actually a very familiar object, the RisePhone he'd been given earlier that day. And… There was a green word bubble on the screen? What was this?

"I think you've received what is now known as a 'text,' my Lord," Azuma observed. "Someone is sending you a message."

"Oh, right, phones can do that," Giff recalled. "How do I… What do I do to read this…"

Hesitant, he poked the bubble, and nearly dropped the phone in surprise when the screen changed to show the bubble against a different backdrop. "What is this?"

"The texting app, I believe," Giff said, peering over his master's shoulder. "It looks like the message is from… I think it's your family, my Lord!"

"It is?" Giff squinted at the screen and was elated to discover that, according to the icons at the top of the screen, it was. "It is! It says, 'Had a great time, looking forward to seeing you again soon. Here's something to remember us by.' What could that mean?"

"There's some sort of picture," Azuma pointed out.

Cautiously, Giff tapped the picture, and was again startled when the screen changed again to show a grid pattern of numerous pictures of what appeared to be familiar places in Hiden Land featuring other members of his family and himself. "Oh! These are pictures of what we did today!" He realized.

"Ah, I see," Azuma observed. "They must have sent them to you so that you would have a memento of your time together."

"How very thoughtful of them! Azuma, we must take a picture to send them in exchange! One of those…'cell phis,'" Giff exclaimed excitedly.

"That sounds like a capital idea," Azuma agreed.

After an embarrassing amount of trial and error, they figured out how to open the camera app. Then they figured out how to actually take the picture, though it took several attempts, because Giff kept freaking out and hurling the phone away because the flash startled him, and it took a while for them to figure out how to flip the camera around to actually focus on them, and Giff's thumb kept getting in the picture, but eventually they were able to take a picture they liked and sent it to his family using the texting app.

A minute later, they got a reply… Which neither of them could read.

"I don't understand. Is this Japanese?" Giff asked, baffled as he scrutinized the string of characters and mysterious icons filling up the chat bubble.

"From what I recall, many of the youth today communicate through texts using a nearly indecipherable code consisting of shorthand and 'emo Gs' which are a mystery to those of older generations," Azuma observed. "Perhaps you should send a text requesting clarification?"

"I can't do that!" Giff cried, aghast. "Then they'd think I wasn't cool!"

Azuma wisely said nothing in response to this.

"No, there's only one thing we can do, and one person to turn to…" Giff said decisively.

---

Rather abruptly, the door to Yuina's room slammed open. "Yuina! I have received a text from Vice and have no idea what he's trying to say-"

Yuina, who had just got ready to head to Prehistoric Park, screamed.

Giff screamed back, in opera.

---

"As you can see, this island chain is perfect for extinct wildlife," Brandon explained "It has deciduous forests that are sheltered by mountains keeping them cool, open grassy plains, fern filled plains, tropical rainforests, coral reefs, mountains and even an abyss. We can house any animal including Hammond's first choice: the Tyrannosaurus Rex!"

Brandon's three Chief of Staff were not adamant about the choice. Mackenzie Kenzaki, a fifteen year old with dark purple eyes and short hair with curled strands, worn with a lilac clip. She wore a white work shirt with a black tie and a long lavender vest, paired with khaki shorts, black socks, and white boots. Next was Bob Arthur, a middle aged balding windswept man, and lastly, Maya Aida, a fifteen year old Japanese-English middle schooler with magenta eyes and short, flared hair with a small portion worn up in a ponytail held by an off-white bow. Her layered bangs frame her face. She wore a white and lilac striped long-sleeve shirt beneath a pale pink top with white stripes and a heart design, a ruffled light pink mini-skirt, lilac stockings, and a pair of pink and white sneakers. They sat in Brandon's bungalow looking at a map of a very different Earth from the Late Cretaceous.

"A T-Rex," Bob sighed. "They're a bit dangerous."

"We have no idea about their temperament or aggression," Mackenzie put in. "Wouldn't it make more sense to start off with something small, or what we already know a lot about?"

"I have to disagree," Brandon replied, rolling his eyes. "If we can handle the Rex, we can handle anything. We know quite a lot about them because of the extensive research done on them, and I want to see if a theory is correct about them. Come on, are you ready to go?"

Then, the squad walked, Voidlon staring at Mackenzie in shock.

"Mack?" Voidlon raised an eyebrow at her, not recognizing her at first.

"Voidlon?" She said, blinking her eyes. Now that she was seeing him up close, she could confirm that it was indeed him.

"Mack!" he greeted, arms open wide as he stepped forward.

"Voidlon!" she exclaimed, mirroring him.

"Mack..." Voidlon said a bit aggressively, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Voidlon?" Mackenzie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Mack!!!" Voidlon roared, pure worry (which could also be seen as fury) blazing on his face as he began to close the distance between them.

"Oh, crud." Mackenzie whispered, immediately throwing open the door and fleeing down the hallway. Voidlon gave chase, yelling after her as their voices flew down the hallway.

"Voidlon, please-"

"Mack, where were you? I thought you were dead or even in Detroit!"

Maya was surprisingly good at field research, so she vowed to go on the rescue missions along with Mackenzie and the first one is to Montana, 65 million years ago. Here the continents were moving into their modern day position; reptiles ruled the land, air and sea with the Tyrannosaurus as the king. However a meteorite hit off the coast of modern day Yucatan, forming an impact crater of 180km wide, and erased these amazing creatures.

The squad emerged from the time portal in the jeep with the logo of a T-Rex above the words "Prehistoric Park" printed on the door. He was in the outskirts of a primeval forest full of deciduous and monkey puzzle trees. Ferns and horsetails grew at the base of the Cretaceous flora; grass had only evolved in what is now India. The forest had formed a ring around volcanic vents which were spewing out toxic but scentless carbon monoxide and dioxide as well as the strong smell of eggs indicating sulfur dioxide. Instantly, they placed a gas mask on and when Maya and Mackenzie emerged from the portal, Brandon gave one to each of them.

"Fossil evidence shows that the dinosaurs were going extinct before the meteorite came and with increased volcanic activity, we can see why. The sulfur also weakened their eggs so they didn't develop properly," Brandon explained.

"Wait I recognise what this is," Maya gasped. She was pointing at suffocated opossums and small dinosaurs. "I've seen this on a course with sand traps. The small animals come here and are suffocated but the decomposition attracts carnivores. No large animals are here as the gases take longer to affect them."

"I've thought of a plan," Brandon said. "Evidence suggests that Tyrannosaurus was a scavenger thanks to the large head and small arms so we just have to wait."

After an hour, the plan has worked but the gang has to remember that when they find a dinosaur they also find them.

There was a crashing sound behind them. Brandon threw a smell retardant tarpaulin over the two of them in case the carnivore fancied live mammal. However instead of a roar they heard a grunting sound instead. Roman let curiosity take hold of him and he peaked a look at his first dinosaur. It was an herbivore eating the ferns. It was the height of a human but was 8m long and built like a tank. The top of the body had bony armour and ridges, even the eyelids were armoured. At the end of the tail was a giant club. The dinosaur was silver in colour except for the soft underbelly which was blue.

[AN: I'm taking creative liberty here since we don't know what they actually look like.]

"Ankylosaurus," Brandon smiled. "These are a beauty. With all the carnivores they evolved thick armour and that giant club to use as a weapon."

"Territorial?" Mackenzie asked, admiring the dinosaur in awe.

"Very. Hammond gave me permission to rescue any other animal I find and this old male would be a good addition."

They both climbed out of the jeep tentatively. But the Ankylosaurus swung its club and smashed it on the ground as a sign of aggression.

The Ankylosauruses armoured eyelids limit their sight but like rhinos their hearing and smell make up for it.

"Come here, big boy," Roman said calmly. He held a bunch of ferns in his hand which calmed the dinosaur. Their faces lit up as they stroked the bony head as its beak munched the primeval plants. Brandon opened the portal and threw the ferns through which made the Ankylosaur shuffle into the future. As they climbed into the jeep the forest behind them burst open and before they could tell what it was it charged at them. Immediately they drove through the portal with the beast chasing after them.

"Good Grief, Brandon!" Bob yelled.

The two dinosaurs were quickly moved from a holding pen into their exhibits ready for inspection.

The Ankylosaurus was lying in the shade of a monkey puzzle tree among some ferns; no grass was in the exhibit. Nearby vents were pumping oxygen into the exhibit.

"In the Cretaceous there was more oxygen in the atmosphere so for the animals' health we put these vents in," Mackenzie explained "Should we identify the thing that tried to eat us?" She asked Brandon.

They climbed into a jeep and drove to the T-Rex enclosure. Bob and Maya were standing by the moving van which was depositing a dinosaur into the exhibit. It was a Tyrannosaurus but for some reason was covered in pink downy feathers from the neck to the tail. Its reptilian eyes stared hungrily at them but was distracted when Bob dropped a carcass for its mighty jaws to tear apart.

"Is this the Tyrannosaurus?" Bob asked, perplexed.

"Yes," Brandon explained. "Recent finds have found that the Tyrannosaurus had feathers. However this guy is only a juvenile. I want to go again to get an adult."

This time, the squad is going back a day before the dreaded meteorite struck. As close to Armageddon as he dares.

It was night when they set up camp. Brandon had spotted some Tyrannosaur sized three toed footprints by the stream so they set up scent retardant tents in case the Rex fancied a late night snack. Mackenzie pointed out pairs of beady eyes staring at them, amber orbs in the night.

"Most likely Troodon," Brandon explained. "They won't come too close. They can sense the Rex nearby."

When they looked above, the sea of stars had giant streaks of fiery red across it. Smaller meteors burning up in the atmosphere arriving before the bringer of death.

The next morning the camp has some reptilian visitors, but carnivorous, they are not.

A herd of two species of ceratopsids were drinking in the stream. They were both a green colour except one had a short, gold crest with bony ridges along the edge while the other had a crest twice the length of the others but lacked the bony ridges. Mackenzie was excitedly commenting on herd behaviour with the young standing protectively behind the adults.

"Triceratops Horridus and Torosaurus latus," Brandon laughed. "The two famous ceratopsians. A recent study thought that they were the same species but their crests were too different to be of the same species. Just look, they flush blood into their crests to communicate, I'll have to see if they're warm blooded."

After a few minutes admiring the two dinosaur species they followed the Rex footprints into the forest.

It's smart to track a Tyrannosaurus footprint, but the squad has to remember an important fact: footprints lead to a dinosaur.

The squad then hid behind a tree. Two Tyrannosaurs, their feathers on the back slick against their bodies stood there. Brandon had to admit that even with the feathers, they looked fearsome. Their beady amber eyes stared at each other with curious intent and their jaws were filled with razor sharp teeth. Both of them were twice the height and length of the juvenile from the park. One was slightly larger than the other: a female. For some reason they walked continuously around in a circle, the male making low grunting sounds that the female would occasionally reciprocate while bobbing their heads in sync.

"Hey, I've seen this with birds," Maya whispered. "It's a mating dance."

He nodded. The modern day raptors did similar mating dances but every bird did one, ostriches would sink to their knees and do a neck weave while birds of paradise would flutter their feathers and dance around. Brandon had a plan. Males were always weary of a rival so he had recorded the young male earlier in the park. He pulled out a recorder and played it. Instantly the avian/reptilian head of the male darted upwards and gave an ear splitting roar before charging at their hiding place. Brandon opened the portal, and it rushed through which caused the more ferocious and larger female follow. Suddenly there was a sonic boom.

The meteorite has entered the atmosphere causing a sonic boom. It will hit the Earth with a force ten times as powerful as the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki sending millions of tonnes of debris into the atmosphere causing an ice age and doom for the kings of the Mesozoic.

"Quickly now!" Brandon yelled.

They ran back to camp and got the crew to go through the portal but nearby the Torosaurus and Triceratops were panicking. They had formed a tight circle around the young in vain against the storm cloud.

Brandon can't just leave frightened dinosaurs to their doom so he formulates a plan.

Maya got in the jeep and herded the dinosaurs through the portal, seeing the threat of the jeep as a bigger one to the storm of death as a herd of troodon (colored silver, red and purple) followed to try and pick off the weaker ones. As they ran through, the boiling hot ash and debris was upon them but just in time they reached the sanctuary of Prehistoric Park. Bob quickly ordered the species into holding pens.

"Wow, Triceratops!" Bob said, amazed. "I loved these as a kid. According to Mackenzie, all of the herds and our two T-Rex are healthy. Did Ankylosaurus, Triceratops and Torosaurus get along?"

"The Trikes and Toros definitely. So much so that they have been compared to buffalo and antelope in modern day Africa but I would advise putting them on the opposite side of the river to our Anky."

After the arrival of the new animals the park has settled down.

The squad stood in a hide in the trees perfectly hidden from view. On the east was a sweet scene of Triceratops and Torosaurus browsing and wading by the creek while on the opposite side of the herd the Ankylosaurus was shuffling in the shade. On the west the Tyrannosaurs were laying asleep. The juvenile, (named Tempus), lived in a separated area of the exhibit from the now mated pair Moses and Lumi, and the troodon pack with the leader being dubbed Monger. John Hammond was on the laptop resting on the desk in the hide looking at awe at the scene.

"Five species, and how beautiful they are. I never imagined though the T-Rex with feathers. You're making my dream come true but for your next mission. Possibly one of the most famous extinct mammals of all time. I'm sure you can tell already what it is: the mammoth."