X-Squad: Carmen Sandiego Chapter 5: Cyberpunk and Tooth and Claw, a X-overs + Kamen Rider Crossover fanfic

The Nanite Event was called one of the greatest tragedies in human history. If that was so, then the Nanite Purge must have been one of the most joyous days for humanity. Thanks to the actions of a teenage boy and the powers of five incredibly advanced pieces of technology, no longer did (most) people have to worry about the machines in their blood transforming them into mindless monsters. No longer did (most) people who had already evolved but kept their human mind have to worry about how they would be treated by their peers.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. And to one of those exceptions, the Nanite Purge was the greatest tragedy he could ever imagine.

"UNACCEPTABLE!" Every glass in the Abysus castle kitchen was being hurled at the wall and shattering into sparkling fragments. The table would have been more ideal, but with no more nanites infused into Abysus ground, it wasn't going to be possible to have the floor do the heavy lifting, and the table was built to seat twenty.

Our newest character: one Van Kleiss, a disillusioned scientist and megalomaniac whose scheme to become the universe's new god was thwarted when it turned out his body simply wasn't built to accept godlike power. In finding that out, he'd lost an entire arm, and with it his ability to alter others' nanites and trigger mutations…though there weren't any nanites to alter anyway.

Unless you counted the three henchpeople who'd hunkered down with him in a pocket dimension to avoid the Purge. Yes, Van Kleiss' blood was still burning with nanites, and it made him incredibly furious to know he was one of the privileged few. His leverage had always come from power over the nanites that weren't in his body – the nanites of others, the nanites in the earth itself. As far as he knew, there were only three others in the world he could now exert complete control over.

Breach. The one who'd saved him and the others, using her ability to tear holes in reality. A troubled girl, which made her perfect, as she needed someone to cling to.

Biowulf. Loyal to a fault. More metal than man. Maybe more dog than man too. Van Kleiss' most accomplished subordinate by far.

Skalamander. A beast made of reptile and crystal with the power to shoot crystals and was quite large for the average EVO.

Beyond those three, and the Abysus castle, Van Kleiss had literally nothing. Not even a plan. He'd poured decades (no, he realized, millennia, because of the time he'd spent in the suspension chamber) into one goal: the pursuit of the Master Control Nanites. He'd had them in his hand, in his blood. And then they'd turned on him without any of his opponents having to lift a finger. It could not have been clearer that his only ambition in life was nothing short of impossible.

What was he supposed to do now? What was left? It's not like "I can just retire happily to a beach in the Riviera! No! There must be more to it – there must be another way I can get what I deserve!"

Oh, wait, he was doing it again. See, after spending thousands of years in a sensory deprivation chamber that kept his body ageless (don't ask), he'd emerged with an opportunity in mind. He'd just about gone insane there, so he decided to lean into that. Pretend to be a shadow of his former self so people would underestimate him. Boy, had it worked. The only downside was that it wasn't entirely all fake. Sure, the rhyming and the sillier turns of phrase had been, but at the same time, Van Kleiss had spent so much time in pure isolation, with only his thoughts for company, that he now occasionally failed to determine which of his thoughts were taking place in his brain and which were actually coming out of his mouth. A very annoying side effect.

He reached into the back of the last cabinet and found nothing left. He'd thrown every single glass at the kitchen wall. The kitchen floor was practically a death trap from all the glass. The least of his worries, all considered. But it signaled that "perhaps it is time to end this tantrum and" get to work thinking on a new plan and not saying it out loud "the way I probably…am…right now."

He shook his head hard, his lengthy black-and-white locks whipping gracefully. At least he always looked good when making a scene.

At any rate, it was time to calm down. Because he wasn't going to take defeat quietly. He wasn't going to give up just because his only goal had been swept from him. No, he needed something else to live for, and Van Kleiss did not see such virtues as love, friendship, or the worth of the human soul as concepts worth living for. At the same time, he refused to die, physically or otherwise.

He inhaled slowly and exhaled twice as slowly. Stood as straight as he could. Ran his one hand through his hair to smooth it back out. Then departed the kitchen.

He would send a summons to Breach, Biowulf, and Skalamander. It was time for the tide to roll back in. A new surge of power by the four most unique people in the world. How lucky he was, to have such powerful tools.

The first red flag should have been when he entered the main hall to find that all three of his subordinates were already there. "Ah, what a coincidence!" he greeted. "I was just about to send the summons. The time has come – "

"To speak of many things," Biowulf hissed harshly. "What we do now is the least of priorities."

"The least of priorities?" Van Kleiss mocked being offended. Or, rather, he actually was offended, but he put on so much dramatic air that it looked like mockery. "I beg your pardon? What could you possibly have to say that takes precedence over our rise to our proper place in this world?"

"THAT'S the point," Biowulf seethed. "We're stuck in this charade."

Well. That was unexpected.

"Come again?"

"I devoted myself to you, body and soul," Biowulf reminded Van Kleiss. "The number of times I merely died for you. Only for us to fail, again and again ad nauseum."

"Biowulf," Van Kleiss responded, his smug smile not fading yet. "I'm sorry you doubt me. However, I think you of all people should know that I value you – "

"I KNOW THAT!" Biowulf barked. "It started to sink in after you were lost in Breach's time rift that maybe you weren't the nicest guy around, the other acts notwithstanding. But then…when I learned you had falsified your insanity…that was when I knew. It was the weirdest plan I ever saw."

"What would my false insanity have to do with my opinion of you?" Van Kleiss asked. "Biowulf, I think you're…oh, he's talking about that one time, isn't he."

"You think," Biowulf spat.

And if Van Kleiss had more control over his tongue, he could've played off the lie. But now he had to own up to his act of betrayal.

Strange that Biowulf could see the humor in it, because all in all, it had been very funny.

It was when Van Kleiss had emerged from the stasis chamber and entered Black Knight's service. In his absence, Biowulf and Skalamander had gone and gotten themselves captured by Providence. Of course, since Black Knight had given Van Kleiss the run of Providence, it was inevitable that he would happen upon their containment cell.

"Van Kleiss!" Biowulf hissed, reaching out to him in desperation. "You're here – I had thought – I was ready to give up all hope – you must release us!"

But at the time, Van Kleiss was supposed to be out of his mind, and he didn't really have room for a sidekick in his plan. So he'd taken the path of least resistance:

"What's this? A doggy!"

"Van…Kleiss?" Biowulf said, confused. "Hello, you okay in there? Or did you think I'm a malamute?"

"You're such a good boy!" Van Kleiss had said, with the stupidest smile possible. "Fido? Fluffy wuffy?"

"Oh…" Biowulf's arm faltered. "Yep, definitely a malamute."

"You're such a cute hecking DOGGO!" To really sell the point, Van Kleiss clasped his hands and jumped about like a child that was about two steps away from cute aggression.

"Get the others, we're getting out." Biowulf turned away, pulling out a jackhammer and started to break out.

Van Kleiss turned away and started whistling "How Much Is That Doggy in the Window" as he made his exit.

"Still sore about that?" he asked, back in the present day. "You realize I had a role to fulfill."

"You did not rescue us because you did not want us, you needed us." Biowulf said.

"I could've told you that after the whole time travel incident," Breach grumbled.

"Have I not given you everything?" Van Kleiss asked. "Have I not provided you with a home? A purpose? A LIFE? A family!"

"Don't think we know that?" Biowulf retorted.

"You took all those things AWAY from me," Breach addel.

They were really going to be that after all he'd done to put up with them? Well, if that was the case, then he would have to choose his next words very carefully. He couldn't afford to lose the three most precious tools in his arsenal. They weren't his favorite people by a long shot, but their nanite powers were indispensable.

Biowulf facepalmed. "Van Kleiss? You're doing it again."

"I'm more concerned that we're not your favorite people." Breach added.

It was at this point, Van Kleiss knew: he'd messed up. He knotted his fingers into his hair, cursing out his brain. "This…accursed…DISORDER…"

"The point is, the original goal went up in smoke," Biowulf said. "But now we need a new plan, and any sort of way to get us respect."

Skalamander…shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Van Kleiss groaned. "I can never tell!"

"We don't wanna," said Skalamander. "Leave, I mean."

"Skalamander, Biowulf, Breach…" Van Kleiss normally wouldn't be encouraging his own subordinates to walk out, but in this case, he didn't care. "You realize I have just admitted that, to put it in a crude way, I have only ever wanted you for your powers, and I couldn't care less whether you live or die. That all I have ever done was with one goal in mind: my own triumph. And that is what I will continue to seek once you are gone. That I saw you imprisoned in Providence and did not lift a finger!"

Skalamander shrugged. Again. "I don't know why you're so surprised. We always knew you were a traitor. That's just part of the job. You're horrible. THAT'S what we like. I didn't think you would save us from Providence, which is why we didn't say anything back then."

"…I thought you were just staring blankly at me that day because you're a moron," Van Kleiss admitted.

"Being a moron had nothing to do with it," said Skalamander. "I don't think, I act."

Van Kleiss sighed. "And then there were four. Van Kleiss, Breach, Biowulf and Skalamander. With nothing but this castle to our names. But we will not remain in the ashes. Like phoenixes, we shall rise again, myself most of all, since we're through with the pretense, and so brightly that not a human, not an EVO, not a Providence agent on this earth will be able to ignore our combined light."

"That's a good metaphor," said Biowulf.

"And all I have to do," Van Kleiss went on, "is…figure out…how…to do that." He groaned. "Skalamander, Biowulf, Breach, I need a moment alone until I can come up with an idea."

"Say less, boss." Breach said.

"There's an awful mess in the kitchen, by the way. An accident. So much broken glass. Be a dear and sweep it up?"

"Okay," Skalamander said again, and then the trio went off to fumble with a broom and dustpan for probably two hours.

Van Kleiss took the moment to sequester himself in his laboratory. Onto the central table, he threw every note he'd ever taken, every book that he had found value in, any and every document that might offer him a way back to the top.

It was all about nanites. Nanites, nanites! Of which there were none, save that lived in him, Skalamander, Biowulf and Breach! Was it all truly so hopeless?

No. There had to be something he'd missed. He began to tack promising documents to the wall. Locations he'd visited in the past, victories and near-victories. Photographs he'd taken of the places he'd visited, from tepid jungles to plunging valleys to the…

The driest desert.

He tapped a finger on the photograph of the desert that was all but obscured by a massive sandstorm. "Something always struck me as odd about you."

He started to pin up his notes, journal entries he'd made. A difficult task with only one hand. "A little too convenient that Zag-RS could suddenly harness all the nanites in the area after returning from the brink of shutdown. Especially given her reticence to let anything with nanites live. Then there's the matter of her being able to interface with this particular desert despite the fact that I needed to transport literal Abysus soil to anywhere I wanted to plant a flag. But she's an AI, a computer; of course she can interface! Then why build what she did and stop to set up the storm? Why not keep going, make the circuit board larger? Would it even be possible to simply turn the nanite-infused earth into a massive computer unless…"

That was the last of the notes. They didn't spell out any particular revelation, but now they were all in one place, to be used as a reference to justify the hypothesis that Van Kleiss' mind had just come to.

"It was always there to begin with."

He grinned, looking at the layout he'd made on the wall. A quite interesting lead indeed. Perhaps it could even be -

"No!" He started ripping it down. "You know better. You KNOW it was possible and feasible for Zag-RS to localize to that area. You're just looking for something, anything, any loose end…and in desperation, it turns out, you are pitiful indeed."

"No, no, keep going! You were almost onto it!"

At the sound of the second voice, Van Kleiss stiffened. That definitely wasn't Breach. Not unless Breach's voice had gotten clearer, a little higher, and inexplicably Japanese mixed with British. Slowly, he turned to regard the intruder.

Maybe he really was going insane, because there was hardly any other explanation for how a girl dressed like a thug was sitting across his research table, head propped up in one hand and one knee bent upward like she was trying to intimidate Van Kleiss. There was no way her snow white hair could be flowing like that without a gallon of spray, and that wasn't even getting into the fact that this absolute beanpole of a girl was wearing winter clothes.

"How did you get in here?" Van Kleiss snarled.

"Wrong question," said the girl. "If I were you, I'd've started off by asking who I was. Let's just say, I'm different."

"Get…out," Van Kleiss growled.

"No, I don't think I will." She shifted into a lotus position, sitting right on top of every note Van Kleiss hadn't pinned to the wall. "See, I happen to know things."

"Good for you! You have a human brain. One that didn't take you as far as 'Invading Abysus is a terrible idea'!"

"And I know YOU'VE hit rock bottom." The girl pointed at Van Kleiss. "For decades, you wanted one thing, and now you can't have it ever again. There are no nanites in the dirt, the minion pool is VERY thinned out, and you're wanting for hired help."

Van Kleiss' one hand was clenched into a fist. "I'm going to give you the count of thirty to leave this room, or I will have my subordinates crush your bones into paste."

"So it's a fight you want!" The girl leapt up to stand on the table with a wide stance and a wider smirk.

"No, I don't want–"

The girl held out one arm into Van Kleiss' face. "Then have at it!" That arm started making ice and snow. "Before I take the shot, notice it. NOTICE IT. Noticeitnoticeitnoticeit."

Oh. Van Kleiss had noticed.

"…Your arm." Van Kleiss, wide-eyed, reached out to seize the arm, because the fight had never been the point. "It has a full range of motion. And it emitted ice and snow so seamlessly. That sort of thing couldn't be possible without…"

"You say nanites, I say superpower," the girl teased. "Interested in what I have to say yet?"

Van Kleiss scowled. "Your timer is reset to five minutes. Convince me why I should let you live."

The intruder dropped back to a sitting position, idly kicking her spindly legs back and forth. "First things first, introductions. The name's Kiko Yumisu."

"I never asked."

"And I already know yours." The intruder – Kiko – winked.

Van Kleiss seized up. "Before this goes anywhere unsavory, you're not my type."

"Nor you mine," said Kiko. "No need to worry about that. Now, as I said, I know things. In this economy, the only thing one can afford on an independent criminal's budget is information. And I have a lot of it! For instance, I happen to have a certain source who told me that you're right about that desert canyon. That circuit board WAS there before. It was there centuries before. And it was used as recently as, well, the Nanite Event."

"Name the source," Van Kleiss demanded.

"I know I have it here somewhere – " Kiko began to search every pocket she had. Since she was dressed for winter, there were pockets aplenty. "Ah! Here it is."

She passed Van Kleiss a piece of paper. Van Kleiss began to read off of it: "Fuel for the car, cookies, rainbow sprinkles, Digorno, Nintendo Switch, Krazy Glue – "

"Wrong paper!" Kiko swiped it back. "That's the grocery list."

"I figured."

"HERE'S the right one." Kiko passed over a crumpled ball of paper with a smirk.

Van Kleiss wasn't optimistic about this paper.

However, when he unfolded it and read what it had to say – and, more importantly, what was written between the lines – he began to think that maybe there was something to this ragamuffin's proposal after all.

It was a list of five locations in the world. One of them was definitely the canyon that Zag-RS had camped out in. Each was paired with a particular code, one that Van Kleiss would not have recognized if it hadn't belonged to his lifelong obsession. The serial numbers used to refer to the Master Control Nanites individually. Each one, a different location.

That could have just been the result of a creative fiction author. But the stationery held Providence's header. Even that could have been faked, of course, so one more test –

Van Kleiss held the paper up to the light. The Providence seal shone through, a distinct watermark. A security measure that would have been impossible to replicate.

"This is an internal memorandum from Providence itself," Van Kleiss said in awe. "I have a hard time believing someone 'on a budget' could afford THIS information."

"Well, Providence info is…cheap in some parts," Kiko muttered. "It doesn't matter right now."

"I believe it does."

"I found it after having a chat with some Gatlocke bozo, all right, seems fun." Kiko explained. "It was just lying in Old Providence begging to be stolen. By the way, you were behind the scenes on that one, right? Is it true Black Knight set the whole thing up? Let you all run wild so Rex could have the runaround? And you wanna know what I did with Black Knight?"

Van Kleiss smirked. "She gave the executive order. I, of course, was the one who came up with the details of the plan, and the one who threw the switch that shut down security. And what?"

Kiko's smile grew. "As for Black Knight, I may or may not have tipped the whereabouts of the Consortium to the OVDF anonymously and now Black Knight's rotting in a nice cozy jail cell in the farthest end of the omniverse, condemned to the fact that she lost everything and is now at the lowest low imaginable." She explained, rolling her eyes at how insufferable Black Knight was.

"What," Van Kleiss taunted. "Hopelessly in love with Black Knight, hoping she would turn your direction and notice your plight, falling head over heels for the dashing rogue?"

"Nothing like that," said Kiko. "I don't go for people like her. You know."

"I know?"

"I have a type for the ones with a more kid-like charm, y'know, goofy, cute, psychotic. Preferably with She/her pronouns, presents femme, shops from the women's section in the store."

"I get the picture."

Kiko started toying with her mask. "You know, I've been looking for a rainbow one of these to drive the point home, but do you have any idea how hard it is to come across a mask like that in the middle of the desert?"

"Back to the point," said Van Kleiss. "You managed to get your hands on this incredibly sensitive data that connects the Master Control Nanites to – no, no, if you're a lesbian, you expect me to believe BLACK KNIGHT's not good enough for you?"

"Of course she's not!" Kiko emphasized. "Everyone who's anyone knows she'll just drain them for all they're worth and throw them away. And honestly? That lady's far too dangerous to date. I'd hate to see the poor sap who ended up with you, with all your crazy."

Van Kleiss should have asked "What did Black Knight do?" or questioned why she would do that or anything else. Instead, because it was the first unbidden thought on his mind, he said, "He's the wolf you passed on the way in."

"Oh, congrats."

Van Kleiss shook his head. "Now tell me why you think we are partners in some scheme. You've handed me a list of places to investigate, not a guarantee, and DEFINITELY not an incentive to form an alliance."

"Oh, I think you already have incentive to form an alliance," said Kiko. "You're down to three minions. Add me, and that's four, but I know you're thinking it's more like three and a half. You'd need more people to be satisfied. You need all the muscle you can get!"

"If I wanted muscle," Van Kleiss said derisively, "I'd look somewhere else than you. Which is the reason YOU'RE not MY type, anyw – "

He cut himself off, biting his tongue.

"You seem to be blurting out a whole lot of things I didn't expect you to want to advertise," Kiko noticed.

"It's a condition."

"What condition?"

"Over two thousand years in sensory deprivation."

"I wasn't aware you were a senior citizen," said Kiko. "At any rate, I know the way for you to take what's yours. No problem!"

Kiko slid off the table. Van Kleiss seized his forearm roughly, stopping him from leaving.

"You know how to play this game better than you let on," Van Kleiss said. "Tell me everything you know."

"Well, when I was younger, I was enrolled in this sort of after-school program," Kiko explained. "The kind where mad scientists experimented on people until your mom can come pick you up from high school every day."

"Why would your mother pick you up from – " Van Kleiss stopped himself again. "No, no, that part isn't the POINT."

"I had family in the mad science business, you know," Kiko went on.

"Stop calling it 'mad science.'"

"Probably why I was so easily grandfathered in as a mad science experiment. Nepotism, I say! The point is, not the most enjoyable experience of my life, but I did come out of it with this nifty power and a distinct disregard for all forms of rule, so I won."

"And the others," Van Kleiss said. "They were from this same experiment?"

"Well, there was only one other," said Kiko, "and he…is VERY definitely not available. Dead because of elephants, fell into a pit with one in it and paid for it with him being given the world's cruelest facelift."

"Why do I doubt that?" Van Kleiss sighed. "But I'm going to let her finish anyway, because I can't prove anything, and at this point, I have to see where this is going."

He and Kiko locked awkward eyes on one another.

"Condition?"

"Yes. Proceed."

"But my crew," said Kiko, "they're different cases. Sort of…some have the nanites run so deep that not even Rex Salazar could dislodge them. You had a bit of trouble with him, right?"

"Don't even get me started," Van Kleiss warned. "If I waste energy thinking about Rex, you're going to be here for the next seven hours listening to a tirade."

"Point taken. Anyway, one of them goes by John Scarecrow and one's Quarry, said that if I add you, it'll be a weird day, that last one's Gatlocke, a weird case. Add them to me and your three musketeers and you have a TEAM."

"I figured."

"We call ourselves…Deadlight," Kiko said. "It would have been Gatlocke and the Kitty Cats, but I shot that down and suggested he could have a subgroup to use that name instead."

"Once I have this team assembled," said Van Kleiss, "we investigate the areas on this paper, and why they could possibly be connected to the Master Control Nanites. Perhaps they hold secrets and power that are more palatable than the nanites themselves. That is what I see as the outcome of this…series of events. However, I need to know where YOU think this is all going, because you seem convinced there is to be a 'cut.'"

"Doesn't matter what," said Kiko. "Money? The world? Who knows? But after we figure this all out and use it to gain ultimate power – provided that's what this list actually means – we'll need new things to move on to so we can maintain our bond as a team."

"And you've lost me," Van Kleiss grumbled. "You yourself said it: I'm not looking for friends. I'm not even looking for those 'good times' you mentioned."

Van Kleiss began to weigh the pros and cons in his head. Kiko was obviously a deranged loon. Though it wasn't like Van Kleiss had much else to his name. He'd already accepted that he would have to make do with three of the weirdest idiots he cultivated. Maybe the other EVOs, if Kiko was telling the truth about them, would be bigger feathers in his cap.

"I'll take that bet," said Kiko. "By the time we're all assembled, you'll be too attached to the group to even think about it! You can even be proud of yourself for making the most out of the bottom of the barrel! But you HAVE to watch that saying-thoughts-out-loud thing in front of Breach, Biowulf and Skalamander if you're going to say such mean things about them."

Van Kleiss fought back the desire to literally explode with anger. It subsided relatively quickly. I suppose the others will want rooms."

"You won't even know the more annoying ones are here!" Kiko promised. "Promise! Quiet as a mouse!"

"Why don't I believe that?" Van Kleiss muttered. "Yes. I know I said that out loud. You were supposed to hear that part. Is that understood?"

"Crystal clear!"

"We reconvene tomorrow at ten," said Van Kleiss. Usually he liked to get an earlier start, but he figured he would need a few hours to himself in the morning in order to prepare for a day spent with Biowulf, Breach, Skalamander and their new leaders, Deadlight.

"Perfect!" Kiko clasped her hands. "We do lunch!"

Van Kleiss glared her down. "Go to your room."

Kiko saluted, then bolted off into the hall.

Van Kleiss collapsed onto a nearby chair. "So this is what it's come to." He sighed. "And the worst part is, as asinine as I know this all is…it's really not as though I have any better ideas."

Upon leaving the world of Oz, the heroes had returned to their special base on Nazarick.

Soon, later after returning, the team were brought together (while Sho was busy back in the control room), catching up to speed on what was happening with the newcomers, until they were all caught up on what was going on.

"So, you're saying that we need to find these Grid Gears in order to get the rift gateway back up at full power?" Jinx asked.

Voidlon was about to reply when Anubis beat him to the punch.

"That's right," he said, "while it may not look like much, but that machine is the only way of figuring out more about this situation. As well as finding your missing friends and allies, who are no doubt in grave danger. Once all the Gears are in place, all of this will soon be solved."

"Not to mention having to find these Grid Gears that Voidlon and his allies were talking about," said Gandalf, "though it would be best to keep them in a secure place, no doubt of their nature."

Voidlon looked at the wizard as he said, "I don't think that would be necessary, Gandalf. These Gears aren't dangerous, unless they're in the wrong hands, of course."

"Let's move." Vincent said as he rushed into the rift of the gateway, followed by the others.

As they journeyed through the vortex, Mera looked to Voidlon, "Do you have any idea where we could end up?"

"Can't say for sure," replied Voidlon, "but arriving in these new unknown worlds seem to remind me of weirder days."

Before anyone could ask, they saw the light at the end of the vortex, as they got ready for what was going to be on the other side this time…

Loads of vicious thuds against solid wood were heard in the halls of Megabuilding H10, but no one was gonk-brained enough to go outside and check. No one except the owners of the door itself, who were pretty pissed off that their beauty sleep was getting interrupted.

"Choomba, it's twelve in the fucking morning!" David practically yelled at the door, knowing that their current penthouse was large enough that his yelling wouldn't reach Lucy. He wanted to make sure that the gonk on the other side of the door understood his frustration. He reached for the door handle, and yelled out, "This better be fucking good if it's worth waking me up, or else you'd better fucking delt-"

David's words died in his throat and he stood speechless. Standing in front of him was a sight that he would have never even dreamed about. A pile of strange people, along with a nightmarish, towering, all-black borg stood in front of him, whirring and clicking as it retracted its arm from the door. Then, it began to speak to David, practically roaring as it spoke, the misfits tumbling off each other to get back up.

"David Martinez, you are not an easy man to find." David felt its optics all over his body before it focused back on his face, "The fabled 'Sandy From Santo Domingo', yes? I'm not impressed by your implants."

"Oh, hola kind senor." The thing with no mouth with grey skin replied, somehow calm, even joking. "Did you know that you might be turned into a super robot like Smash Head over here? Also, do consider a lime green jacket, cause yellow's so not your color."

Oh great, his nightmares along with bad trips could talk and the nightmare and one of those bad trips were currently roasting his chrome and his drip. You know, it would have made more sense if the nightmare had red eyes and- oh there goes the eyes.

The massive borg's red optics suddenly lit up, and it seemed like he was scanning David's body, almost like it was searching for something. It stopped at his midriff and went green, indicating that it had found what it was looking for.

"Ah, an unregistered sandevistan. How strange. usually, Arasaka knows all the tech their competitors find, but it seems their intel must be lacking something. Hah, looks like the metalhead has the upper hand now." The borg's voice was thundering and raspy as if it had been damaged. On closer inspection, its armor was scratched to hell, as though someone had thrown several grenades at it.

"Can't lie, the no-mouth kid's wrist-knife and the armor are fucking preem. But borged-out corpos with one having full sponsors from Arasaka must be after me and Lucy." Quickly patting his pockets, David realized, "Fuck, I only have my Lexington; there's no way I can get past his armor."

"Ah, don't be a fucking chooh-head, Martinez. Just relax, I'm here to parley with you. I apologize if my appearance is upsetting you, but I could give two fucks about the state of my chrome right now." The still unnamed borg's demeanor changed, and David was quick to notice. "So he's not here to harm me, huh?" David pondered to himself. He was about to make a really bad decision, but nothing could be as bad as that last gig… poor Julio.

"Alright, plant your gonk asses on my couch, I'll get you something to drink in the meantime." David immediately regretted his decision once the squad and borg began to move, somehow swiftly passing him and immediately sitting on the couch. The real kicker was just how silent it was. "Fuck, must have gotten the latest Lynx Paws - that fucker is silent for being built like a Basilisk."

David shook his head as he started to walk into the kitchen, pondering what a giant borg like that must drink. His train of thought was interrupted once again when he heard his tv turn on and a suspiciously recognizable outro song playing in the background.

"For fuck's sake, I missed it again!" "Oh god damnit, we missed it!" The borg and magenta haired girl practically yelled at the top of their lungs. That kind of rage can only be really felt from within, and David felt their pain. The last time he had missed an episode of "Watson Whore" or "Secrets and Tears", he had nearly zeroed some Valentinos when he had heard talking about those in an alley during a gig.

"So, did you just come here to watch 'Watson Whore' with me, or are we going to talk about who the fuck you are?" David had no more time for riddles from the mysterious borg. He had his suspicions, but no one had seen the Boogeyman of Night City and lived to tell the tale. Only the legendary solo himself, Morgan Blackhand, had encountered Adam Smasher and managed to walk away, and people still disputed what had really happened at Arasaka Tower.

"Surely, even you can decipher that. Come on cyberpunk, use that Arasaka education and figure it out." The borg was taunting him, and it was fucking working. How the fuck did he know where he went to school? Barely anyone knew, and the last person he thought cared had flatlined years ago. Tanaka's data was beyond repair - Lucy swore!

"Ha, I guess top marks at the 'prestigious' Arasaka Academy don't translate well to street smarts, huh? C'mon Martinez, look at my weaponry. I am composed of the finest technology those tech monkeys could create in order to turn me into the perfect killing machine," the metalhead boasted, with every bit of pride being thrown into his last sentence. David's suspicions were confirmed by that statement alone.

"Adam Smasher in the fucking chrome, well I'll be. Ya know, my last ripper said that my high cyberware affinity meant that I could probably be an even better version of you." David said with conviction, knowing full well that he might still die. Adam Smasher was a living legend for a reason, the apex predator at the top of the Night City food chain. And David had just invited him into his house.

"You? Hah, that's a good one." The borg slapped his metal knee, giving off a resounding clang as he threw his head back to laugh. "Looking at you now, string bean, you have several kilometers to go before you can even catch up! You need some more meat on your bones if you want to be better than me," Smasher stated matter-of-factly. He wasn't even trying to insult David, but it still stung.

"String bean? More meat on my bones? I'm 190 centimeters tall and nearly 200 kilos!" David thought to himself, astonished by Adam Smasher's words. He wasn't the tallest Edgerunner; hell, he was still not as tall as Dorio, but he was still respectable compared to the rest of the mercs out there! He instilled fear, damn it!

"Alright Martinez, enough with the foreplay, let us talk for real now, borg to man." Smasher's tone turned serious, optics constricting as he was now in full interrogation mode on David. With the X-Squad and David's vitals being shown to him on Smasher's face, Voidlon couldn't help but blink rapidly and sweat profusely from the intense light being shoved into his face, and not just because Adam looked hot for a cyborg.

Finally, a small mercy was granted by Smasher as he finally spoke, "Are you Team Marietta or Team Janna, and are you Team Mitsuko or Team Naoko? Beware, your life depends on it."

"Erm, we unanimously choose Janna and Mitsuko?" Voidlon answered, shaking in his Gucci boots. "Please don't hurt us, we're sorry if they ain't best girls!" Voidlon begged.

"Mitsuko, Shin deserves better. And Janna, Fabian needs better." Yuina answered. The squad could only stare in confusion.

"Who the fuck is a Shin and Fabian?" Evolt asked.

"...You gotta be shitting me… as if I can accept those GONK JOYTOYS Marietta and Naoko to be Fabian and Shin's OUTPUTS! Janna and Mitsuko ACCEPT Shin and Fabian for WHO THEY ARE, and don't treat them like personal eddie banks!" David's face was red by the time he was done with his mini-rant, yelling passionately at the X-Squad and Smasher about his favorite protagonists. He surprised himself with how quick he was to start yelling about Fabian and Shin's horrendous taste in women. He stopped himself when he noticed that Smasher had stopped talking altogether, and he contemplated his fate.

"You have issues, and not in fandom and drip." Voidlon calmly replied to David. "Do you need to see someone?"

"Oh, I'm so fucking dead. I'm going to die a horrific death and my last words were ranting about Fabian and Shin to a possible band of psychos and Adam fucking Smasher… eh, could have been worse; could have said that Naoko and Marietta are best girls…" David resigned as he accepted his fate, watching intently as Adam Smasher's hands closed in on him and the squad.

A swift death never came. Instead, he was engulfed in a cold, metal embrace by the infamous Night City Boogeyman and a young girl. Were they fucking crying too?

"David Martinez, Yuina Akagawa, X-Squad, I will protect you with MY LIFE. I swear to you that Arasaka will NEVER be able to lay a single finger on any of you." Smasher wiped his optics clear with a tissue before he pressed on. "People that truly appreciate Fabian and Shin are few and far between, and we NEED to stick together."

"You have my respect sir, you have my respect." Yuina sniffed. "We all need a shoulder to cry on, and you earned that."

Had someone told David that he would find a common ally in Adam Smasher back at Arasaka Academy, he would have called the police on the gonk. But right now, David was crying tears of joy.

"I think you and I are going to get along just fine, choombas."

Several episodes of "Watson Whore" and "Secrets and Tears" later, the recently acquainted chooms were now talking about why Adam Smasher had come to David's apartment in the first place.

"So, you're telling me… that you murdered four business executives for telling you no?" Sanae tried to summarize Smasher's story, not quite wrapping it around her head. "You had a good deal going, just… why?"

"Kid, it's not rocket science. They told ME, to my fucking FACE, to 'sit down like the dog you are and behave'... They were basically BEGGING FOR IT." Smasher's words were beginning to make sense to David, as he had had similar experiences when talking to fixers other than Faraday when looking for work. Shit, Granny Wakako had almost turned him away when he had first gone to her looking for work, thinking he was a random Sixth Street gonk about to beg for work.

"Well, when you put it that way… Yeah, I'd do the same thing." David agreed with the borg on that point, to which Smasher pointedly nodded. "And you guys are part of some Maxtech knockoff that's built to keep omniversal peace and also run a wildlife sanctuary for dinosaurs?"

"In layman's terms, yep. We also are basically family, mostly because we'd rather put up with each other than be stuck alone, and might possibly have committed more war crimes than we'd admit." Jay explained.

"So, what are your plans now, David? I've confirmed that Arasaka still has data on you and your choom, Lucyna Kushinada. To further your struggles, they also managed to turn your fixer against you and hired a certain 'Faraday' to hunt down their ghost who has been flatlining their netrunners. They've been setting up a trap for tonight, which would have gone through had I not shown up."

"Fuck, so that's what Lucy's been up to all this time. She wasn't shutting me out, but protecting me all this time…" David's face took on a serious tone, as he held his fists in front of him. He thought back to Maine and Dorio, Pilar, and his mom. He wasn't strong enough to protect everyone, but he didn't want to over-chrome and end up like Maine. A Cyberpsycho…

…Maybe, maybe things could be different now. The solution was standing right in front of him.

If Adam Smasher joined his crew, there would be no more hiding, no more small gigs. They could take high-risk gigs from even Rogue, the Queen of the Afterlife, and not even bat an eye.

Suddenly, Voidlon grinned, realizing that he had perfect members to add to the crew/fashion empire.

"Smasher, I guess you're not aligned with Arasaka anymore… how about joining up on my gang'? As equals rather than lackey and master." Voidlon's offer was now in the air, and Smasher looked apprehensive about taking the offer. David wasn't worried that he wouldn't accept, however, as he had full confidence that his new borg choom wouldn't just up and leave.

Oh, and he was up and leaving.

"Wait, wait, Adam, dude! Why are you leaving now?"

"A member of the crew wouldn't show up empty-handed, right? Give me 1 hour, I have to head to the docks to get the rest of my equipment." Adam was practically beaming at Voidlon's offer to join and was almost skipping before he made it to David's outside balcony. David was about to ask Smasher where he was going before he heard a grunt and the sound of wind rushing.

"…he just jumped off the building, didn't he?" Kanade asked.

"Well, he's not the Infamous Borg solo for nothing, right? He'll be fine." David answered.

David and the X-Squad were halfway up the steps before he realized what he had just done, the euphoria of talking about "Watson Whore" and "Secrets and Tears" sweeping David's mind away having finally worn off.

He'd just invited Adam Smasher into his fucking crew and now there's a tall alien wearing red armor with large, pointy ears on the sides of his head and dark eyes in his bedroom. He has a tail, digitigrade legs, and hooves reminiscent of a horse.

"So, you're the new boss's freak show, well, you seem fun. Name's Vanishing Point. I believe in bold simplicity, I hope we'll work together on our future endeavors. Please, feel free to call me Vanish." The alien introduced.

"Sure," Voidlon said. "Name's Voidlon Shingetsu, Prince of Barian World and soon to be top tier fashion designer, I'm sure you've heard of me."

"The Son of Vector himself? The literal owner of Void Trends?!" Vanish replied, before laughing. "Damn, that's a great name your parents gave you."

"Oh fuck, Lucy's going to kill me when she wakes up."

"Lucy? Lucy? Guess what just happened?"

"I swear to god if you tell me that whoever was knocking on the door was actually Adam Smasher, I swear to god."

"...hey, you're good at guessing..."

"Well hello, gorgeous.." Voidlon said, as Lucy suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"Uh...what?" She said as Taeko stepped up.

"He might be referring to me." She said as Voidlon shook his head.

"Taeko may be the prettiest of all. But I was referring to you and the hunk of sexy over here." He said as he pointed towards Lucy and then David.

The monowire that wrapped around the squad and David's throats was firm but not yet lethal. Lucy made sure that it wouldn't leave a mark on the possible intruders or her input, but she wanted to make sure that they knew she wasn't fucking around.

"Okay, no flirting with someone without consent, live and learn." Voidlon said, not caring about his head being cut off.

"I bust my ass to make sure your gonk ass isn't being chased by Arasaka kill squads, yet here you are playing house with the fucking Night City Boogeyman at the asscrack of dawn." Lucy tightened her grip on the wires as David was sweating bullets.

"N-now dear, I know this looks bad-"

"Bad? Honey, bad was leaving me all alone in bed without so much as a word," her words dripping with malice. It's bad enough that Lucy must go into an icebox for netrunning, but being cold in bed is a transgression that cannot be forgiven.

The monowire tightened slightly as Lucy was ranting, "Now, tell me why the fuck Adam Smasher, Arasaka's deadliest weapon, was inside our home."

David's response was quick, fearing that delaying any response would anger his output further. "He's not with Arasaka anymore!"

The monowire around their necks went slack as Lucy's expression turned to surprise. She recovered quickly, however, and retracted him back into her arms. "You have 5 seconds to explain before I bring out Sir John Phallustiff and extract the answers out of your-"

Lucy was quickly interrupted by David's yelp as he preemptively covered his ass with his hands. "That won't save you, I know you enjoy it~."

"Dang, you get freaky in bed." Vanish said. "Can I watch?"

"Hey, save me some of that!" Voidlon shouted.

"Okay-okay-okay I'll explain everything… just give me a minute to catch my breath," David panted as he let go of the breath he didn't know he was holding in. Lucy had that effect on him, her dominatrix personality coming out whenever she wanted him to beg. "It's just so damn effective, and it leaves you practically begging for more… how could I not use every trick up my sleeve to get answers out of you?"

David's perspective of the events that unfolded hours ago left Lucy speechless, to say the least. Her mind could only come up with a singular question.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Before David could answer that question, there was a loud thud that came from the balcony.

"Ah, is this your choom, David? Charmed, I'm sure, Lucyna Kushinada." Smasher put on a posh accent when he greeted Lucy, and she couldn't help but be weary of him. "Great, Adam Smasher and a band of freaks know us by name… fuck it, we ball."

"Lucy, Adam and the X-Squad. X-Squad and Adam, Lucy," David introduced his hacker input to his newest chooms, and Lucy couldn't help but cringe as the borg held his hand out.

"A pleasure to meet you," Smasher greeted in earnest, with a hint of a smile hidden by his hulking armor, "David is a lucky gonk, I'll give him that."

"Alright, enough of the pleasantries," Lucy said dismissively, "Just tell me why you're really here before I upload Daemons I guarantee you've never seen before straight into your brain."

"And what do they have that we haven't seen before? We've seen it all, Lulu." Hibiki snarked, tired and just wanting to head to sleep and possibly fuck Coco.

Lucy can tell that Smasher was impressed by her threat, as he put his hands up in a surrender gesture before he spoke. David was about to interrupt Lucy, but she quickly readied her Monowire, which shut him up quickly. "I want to hear it from him," she snapped at David, who was backing up slowly with his hands up.

"Lucyna, I am not telling any lies when I say that I am not here on Arasaka's payroll. In fact, I'm not on their payroll at all."

"...what the fuck are you talking about?" Lucy was still confused by David's retelling of events and just couldn't wrap her head around the idea of the Borg just simply flatlining some gonk suits for telling him no.

"I caught wind of a certain David Martinez when I overheard some corpses at Arasaka discussing how David could be used in their research. Their main interest was in his so-called 'high cyberware affinity', which would allow him to chip more implants than your average merc. Their mistake was thinking out loud, stating that he might even be more effective than me."

"Oh shit," David thought to himself, "Those corpos must still remember me from the Katsuo incident." David wouldn't do anything different that day, except maybe disable a few cameras before he did anything against that blue-haired bitch. The fact that they know his name is trouble, but it looks like Smasher isn't done talking yet.

"I decided to handle your case personally and told those limp dick executives that I would flatline you if you turned out to be a failure. However, they 'forbade me' from interfering with their pet project. So I did what any self-respecting borg would do and flatlined all of them where they sat." Smasher finished his story and adopted a smug look as if he was proud of his accomplishment. "Must have been a blow to his ego to be told to sit down and wait like a dog," Lucy surmised, remembering how she was used as a tool by Arasaka as well.

"So, you told them to hold the L and grasp it tight?" Vanish summarized.

"So, you came to David after you got fired? Why even bother with coming to us in the first place?" Lucy asked with genuine curiosity. The borg's actions were strange in itself, but his response was even more perplexing to watch.

Smasher hunched over, slowly putting his pointer fingers and his knees together.

"He's like a little schoolgirl," David whispered to Lucy, who couldn't help but nod in agreement.

"W-well, I kinda need a job now. No dice with Militech since they already have Blackhand, and the rest of the corporations pretty much blacklisted me already from my past crusades." Smasher was admittedly embarrassed for essentially confessing that he won't get hired anywhere else.

After that display, Lucy steeled her conviction and decided to accept Smasher as a part of the crew. She could trust David's judgment; the past years showed that he wasn't the same greenhorn that impulsively got a sandevistan chipped by one of the shadiest rippers in Night City.

No, David was his own man, and he had a great judge of character… most of the time.

"Alright," Lucy glared at Smasher and the squad, who was taken aback by the gesture. "We have a gig lined up for tomorrow from Rogue herself. Mr. Hands has a predicament involving the Voodoo boys harassing some Net Watch gonks that are set up at the Grand Imperial Mall."

Lucy flicked Adam and the squad the deets from Rogue, as he was deep in thought. A detail that didn't escape Lucy, but she wouldn't press the issue yet. "A question for another time, I suppose."

Smasher finally spoke after looking through the gig details, and finally said, "How do you want me to approach?"

Lucy's expression darkened, "Those Voodoo Boy fuckers are attempting to breach the Blackwall and Faraday's with them, I don't think I need to tell you just how dangerous that would be."

"So, are you saying what I think you're saying?" Kanade replied, genuinely surprised and eager. "It is, isn't it?"

Suigintou held her sword aloft. "Total annihilation."

Smasher's roar of laughter was all Lucy needed to confirm that he understood what she was alluding to. "We're going to get along just fine, Mrs. Kushinada."

David and Kanade were walking Adam Smasher to the balcony as Lucy and the others retreated upstairs to their beds (or in the X-Squad's case, whatever was the closest sleeping quarters). They were shivering as the Night City air was gliding over David's subdermal armor. "That's it, I'm officially getting a new ripper. Doc said that I wouldn't get cold ever again."

He was ripped from his thoughts as Smasher suddenly spoke before hitting the edge of the balcony.

"David, Kanade. Before I begin preparations for tomorrow." Smasher's sudden tonal shift to David was surprising, to say the least. David approached him cautiously as he didn't know what he would say.

"Yeah, Adam?" Kanade responded in jest, deciding to use his first name to truly recognize him. Calling him Smasher would feel too impersonal, and now he was a part of the X-Squad just like her.

"A piece of advice from one chrome junkie to another."

"B-but I'm not addicted-"

"I don't even have any cyber-"

Smasher ignored whatever asinine statement David or Kanade would have said and continued, "If you even think about activating your sandevistan during fornication with your output, if you get one that is, don't."

"...That was the last thing I thought you'd say," David thought to himself. His confusion was worn on his face as plain as day, and Adam mistook his confusion for not understanding what he said.

"It would melt through your output's midnight lady faster than a bullet through flesh," Adam said with an authority that begged David to say otherwise.

David almost pouted "But- wait why are you telling me this?"

"Yeah, what the hell?! Laura's only got a prosthetic eye!" Kanade added.

Smasher put on an almost somber face, reminiscent of a time long ago. "I made that mistake years ago… Michi-chan still won't call me back. And she won't stop sending low-rate mercenaries after me." His tone changes from somber to annoyed when he thinks about those wastes of oxygen. "She knows I hate to waste ammunition on lowly pissants."

"Well, this is by far the weirdest conversation I've ever had. And with Adam Smasher?" Yeah, if you told David that Adam Smasher would be giving David the Chrome and the Bees speech, then he would have reported you to the cops. "Uhh, duly noted Adam, thanks for the advice."

Smasher put his admittedly very large hand on David's shoulder and said, "Think nothing of it, my friend. Just heed my warning or face the wrath of a woman scorned."

David waved to Adam as he jumped off his balcony, disappearing in the Night. " Well, let's not dwell on another man's business. My input's is waiting for me in our bed, and I shouldn't keep her waiting." he thought to himself in bliss, before Lucy's contact suddenly appeared on his screen.

When he answered his holo, he was greeted by his output's pouting face, "Hurry up and get to bed already, you fucking gonk. The bed is fucking freezing and I need you to warm me up already."

David laughed as he retreated inside, "Don't need to tell me twice, be there in a sec."

The next day...

Kiwi preferred to keep everyone she's ever met at arm's length, just made it easier to deal with when she had to burn bridges or quietly leave. Eventually, Edgerunner crews like this crash and burn faster than a gonk on glitter.

After Maine punched her out during the Tanaka job, she couldn't bring herself to trust another soul with her life and was considering Faraday's offer to sell out the crew.

But plans changed, and Kiwi has never been so confused or happy in her life.

"Luce, shoot me in the foot right now, I have to be dreaming," She begged the protege, who was giving her mentor the longest stare and biggest shit-eating grin as she prodded her side.

A bird was holding a blue-skinned pirate up by his neck, screaming in his face.

"Why? Why, why, why?" Jacques screamed at him, Cronus was panicking, Neo hit Jacques with her umbrella.

"What is wrong with you?" Edda said, stomping her foot.

"No matter what I do, it will always follow me, no matter how many times I forget it, it always comes back, no matter how many times I try to get rid of it, it will FOREVER assail me!" Jacques screamed.

"What are you talking about?" Lucy asked, confused.

"That!" Jacques said, pointing at a pancake.

"It's just a pancake, are they military grade weapons in your world?" Rebecca wondered out of curiosity.

"That's not a pancake, that's. A PUNCAKE!!!" Jacques yelled in rage.

"Did somebody say puncake!!!" Jon yelled across the room.

"FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Jacques yelled.

"Shut the hell up, it will always return," Jon said in his deep voice.

"Shut the hell up, look! Romhack is onto something," Taeko said, Lucy lifted the 'puncake' up to her face, but Jacques snatched it out of her grip.

"No, we have to test if this is a puncake," Jacques concluded. "Who wants to be hit?"

Everyone took a step back, while a Sixth Street ganger was rushing at them.

"Hey! I fucked your sister!" Jacques taunted, who stepped away from the puncake slightly.

"You bastard! I will fucking kill you!" The ganger came at the bird with a knife, but at the same time, Neo crouched, tripping the ganger, causing him to land face first into the puncake, which blew up, leaving a small crater with the ganger becoming a roasted corpse.

Everyone gaped at the small crater that left a sizzling Sixth Street thug, everybody else just lost control and began laughing.

"What's so funny?" Lucy demanded.

"I-it's-hahahaha, he- pfft hehehehehe-" Jacques calmed himself, trying to think. "Okay it's just that- pfft hahahahahahahaha, guys fucking stop it!"

"Cronus, how did you make this?" Muty asked him.

"I had no clue myself! I followed the ingredients to the letter, look: egg, vanilla extract, flour-" Cronus listed, Lucy looked at the tin of 'flour'.

"Is that-"

"C-fucking-4!" Jon said.

"I knew it was a puncake! I could smell it," Jacques whispered, the squad giggled at his joke.

"How did this even get in here?" Lucy said.

David grinned, not knowing of Kiwi's obsession with the walking tank. "No clue, but anyways, this is real fucking life, Kiwi. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Adam Smasher in the chrome, and our newest team, the X-Squad!" David's presentation of Adam Smasher and the X-Squad was quite possibly the lamest thing she'd ever seen, but the borg himself was more than enough to make it up to her.

"What up, biatches and bois?! XD" Coco said, striking a pose as the rest of the X-Squad stepped out from behind a curtain, trying hard to look dramatic and badass.

"I'm locked, stocked, and ready to fucking ROCK," Smasher exclaimed as he puts his hands into the devil horns gesture, "I'm gonna bring the motherfucking pain."

"Alright Choombas and Choombattas, are we all clear on our parts in this little excursion?" David's question was met with a resounding "Yes!" from the crew, all antsy and legs bouncing in excitement, ready to kill their old Fixer.

"Alright. Falco, call up your Emperor, we're gonna park about a block away in an alley, and Lucy is going to walk from here. They might have eyes on Lucy as soon as she walks out to their ambush." Lucy nods as she goes upstairs, putting on her usual outfit whenever she goes out to flatline the Arasaka netrunners.

"Kiwi, we run into any resistance with the gonks inside, your job is to breech 'em and load 'em up with short circs. If any of them get away from you, download a Daemon into their subnet, then jack out. Wait with Rebecca and Falco and make sure that none of them get any word out." Kiwi nodded in approval, remembering that she missed some Maelstrom gangers in their last outing.

"Rebecca, you're on guard duty with Falco and Kiwi. If we need help for any reason, or we gotta bombshell the fuck outta there, you'll come in and give us cover fire," David informed Rebecca, who gave two thumbs up as she hopped off her seat, giving a mock salute to him as she walked to her armory, grabbing an assortment of weapon and a bag of c4 just incase.

"Smasher, X-Squad," David suddenly addressed their resident borg and band of psychos, who quickly turned to look at the Edgerunner, "you're our vanguard. You're the entry frag, disable any of Faraday's goons and make sure none of them escape, comprende?" David knew that the borg would be excited to get to be point man on this gig, and excited he most definitely was.

"David, you have made me the happiest borg ON THE PLANET," Smasher stated, fake wiping a tear from his eye. He suddenly got an alert from Rogue Amendiaries of all people, "Heads up, bossman. Just got a gig from the Queen of the Afterlife herself." Hearing that, the entire crew stopped in their tracks, paying full attention to Smasher.

"She caught wind of us planning to go after Faraday, and sent us a bounty of Faraday. Doa, reward of one million eddies for his head with all eyes intact." Smasher informed the crew, each of their eyes gleaming with the prospect of a huge pay day. It's not everyday that you get a gig from the Queen of the Afterlife, and with a paystub of about 150,000 eddies each, it's not something to sneeze at.

Smasher laughed internally thinking about Rogue, "That old bitch is still kicking it up in the Afterlife. Shame she had to leave the team, but it seems she still had a soft spot for the one who's responsible for flatlining her old flame… I wonder if I'm still banned from her bar?"

"Fucking max nova, Choom! Let's get going already, I'm fucking itchy for some new iron!" Rebecca exclaimed excitedly, running out the door excitedly. David could only sigh at her antics, but couldn't lie to himself about being excited for the impromptu gig turning into a bounty hunt for his former Fixer.

David signaled the crew to get into Falco's Emperor as the squad got into a Banana Bus, with the larger ones, including Smasher, standing on top of the bus. Kiwi mentally cursed the manufacturers for not thinking about her idol when it came to the size of the car.

Kiwi could only whimper as she saw Smasher somehow fit into the bus. "It's fine, I suppose. The slaughter will begin soon anyways. Just a quick drive and you can see him again, Kiwi," She attempted to reassure herself, but her cigarettes couldn't do much to calm her nerves. Her leg was bouncing with anxiety as she turned on the radio and tuned in to Body Heat Fm, much to Falco's dismay.

This gig was going to be interesting, she had a good feeling about it.

Then, once the squad got there, they saw Megafin, Birch, Kronos, Calamity, Ink Blotch, Circe, Erxkadnmlae, Xsowshiha, Kosexry, Shuma-Gorath, Enmu, Lamu, Eruka, Free, Killia, Nabnab, Quarry, Paper Doll, Floodthirst, Light, Ryuk, Floodthirst, Zora, Yoomtah, Kurohonema, Blackbeard, Ito, Vic, Yuika, Hook, Caine, Basco, Badley, Rem, Agdaros, Los Dark, Walrus, Carpenter and an army of Fanglars, Feargulls, Clurkrahnnas, Elfwolves, Stooges, Wildclaws, Medicinals, Smashers, Scopers, Dough-Goos, Zakennas, Uzainas, Kowainas, Hoshiinas, Nakewamekes, Desertrians, Negatones, Buffoons, Distains, Saiarks, Zetsuborgs, Yokubaaru, Nendos, Oshimaidas, Nottoreis, Epidems, Yaraneedas, Ubauzos, Ranborgs, Zolders, Crimers, Cutmen, Dustlers, Machinemen, Spotmen, Tail Soldiers, Mechaclones, Hidrer Soldiers, Zolohs, Ungler Soldiers, Jimmers, Ular Soldiers, Batzler Soldiers, Grinam Soldiers, Putties, Tenga Warriors, Cotpotros, Dorodoros, Cogs, Chromites, Pirahnatrons, Craterites, Quantrons, Stingwingers, Swabbies, Tyrannodrones, Triptoids, Batlings, Cyclobots, Putrids, Kelzaks, Krybots, Hidiacs, Chillers, Lava Lizards, Rinshis, Marauders, Spitfangs, Zombatants, Treshers, Trenters, Vivix, Vigorx, Kudabots, Tronics, Hengemen, Kuros, Pordermen, Indavers, Moebas, Bechats, Kudakks, Anonis, Sanagims, Droans, Ohneeders, Watchdogs, Raydragoons, Rat Imagin, Fanghouls, Riotroopers, Darkroachis, Salis Worms, Byakkos, Masquerade Dopants, Kuzu Yummies, Ghouls, Plain Roidmudes, Leo Dustards, Gamma Commandos, Kurokage Troopers, Bugster Viruses, Elementary Inves, Guardian Bots, Kasshines, Dodo Magia Chicks, Shimis, Giff Juniors, Jyamaoto Riders, Lycans, Bikrows, along with 8 new faces, notably Delphini Riddle, a Piskyon known as Jack the Flipper, Felix, Karl, Adam Taurus, Van Kleiss, Gatlocke, John Scarecrow, Biowulf, Breach and Skalamander.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Biowulf said. "Some strays that stumbled upon something they shouldn't have." He growled, which sounded more like a chuckle.

Then, the lights suddenly dimmed until only one spotlight burned brightly in the middle of it as under the light Karl stood.

"Lycans, freaks, troopers, psychopaths, demons… and super sized bitches!" he yelled as it elected a joking grunt from one side whilst the other side left out a good collected laugh.

"Today, we show horror and carnage… but of course we have the house rules... " he continued as he slowly twirled looking at the crowd gathered around him.

"First rule, there will be blood! So please, don't go lap it up. If you get covered by it… lucky you." he stated as he grinned slightly, gazing directly in the direction of the murderers who all started to scream happily.

"Secondly, no flash photography or recordings. We still need new fresh victims to this show so we don't want it leaked out!"

"And thirdly… If you don't enjoy the show, we won't give money back!" he stated as he took a hit from his cigar and turned around staring exclusively at the squad and smirked at Mera as he was instead met with a joking scowl.

"Now… we ask that you enjoy the show…" he stated as the light further dimmed, casting him nearly in the dark and as the only thing visible.

"Ladies and gents this is the moment you've waited for!" he proclaimed pointing his finger up as a new light turned on revealing a body, tied up above him squirming frantically.

"Been searching in the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor." he proclaimed next, now as slowly the light turned on around him showing now the freaks clad in black leather slithering around him.

"And buried in your bones is an ache that you can't ignore!" he continued as he now held out both his hands, revealing the two metal panels on each side of the still squirming victim above him.

"Taking your breath." he stated as one of the panels slowly started to move seemingly.

"Stealing your mind." he continued as the other now inched a bit forward…

"And all that was real gets left behind!" he yelled suddenly as the panels now swung against each other, squishing the body between them, blood dripping down as the first excited scream was heard from the audience.

The crowd was so focussed on the freshly squashed victim that they didn't pay attention to Heisenberg as a giant puff of smoke enveloped him, his sadistic smile the last thing they saw.

"Don't fight it, it's coming for ya, running at ya." Van Kleiss sang now, as he stepped out from the smoke that spread around the ring and into the audience.

"It's only this moment, don't care what comes after!" he continued as the dancers now got up, forming a circle around Van Kleiss, twirling around him.

"Your fever dream, can't you see it getting closer?" he asked as the dancers once more scattered at his command, as he was slightly raised up on a metal platform now looking over the first row of each audience bench.

"Just surrender cause you feel the feeling taking over!" he yelled next, as he slammed his claw down onto the platform, as a giant snake-like monster now rose in the middle of the ring, as Van Kleiss stood on it and spread his arms wide.

"It's fire, it's freedom, it's flooding open!" He roared loudly in the middle of the ring as around it now instead of dancers, skeletons were prancing and twirling around him.

"It's a preacher in the pulpit and you find devotion!" He continued as where he first stood, now a new fresh victim stood, it stared wide eyed in horror at the giant face of a snake in front of him.

"There's something breaking at the brick of every wall it's holding." He continued as the monster slowly raised its tail as the crowd held its breath, the hapless victim only staring in pure horror at the giant beast in front of him.

"I'll let you know, so tell me, do you want to go?!" Van Kleiss roared now, bringing the tail down, smashing the victim under it, blood and guts spreading underneath the tail.

From underneath the base of the platform suddenly with a small explosion, Birch rose up, her face covered with a skull drawn on it as she smiled widely.

"Where it's covered in all the colored lights! Where the runaways are running the night!" She sang on top of her lungs as soon rows of bats sat above the inadvertent audience, singing along with her.

"Impossible comes true! It's taking over you!" She sang as she soon slammed her cane onto the ground, as next to her in two puffs of smoke, Van Kleiss and Heisenberg returned, spreading their arms.

"This is the greatest show!" The three sang in unison as the crowd roared out in pure delight.

"We light it up, we won't come down!" Heisenberg sang as the dancers now were lifted into the air, twirling around by the rings that carried them up.

"And the sun can't stop us now!" Van Kleiss continued as the next victim appeared in front of Birch as she smirked at the frightened girl staring right at the skull-faced girl.

"Watching it come true, it's taking over you!" She sang to her as she blew some purple dust into her face as she coughed loudly before suddenly she slowly slumped down… and then saw her limbs transform, snapping and cracking, turning into new things as her face deformed and melted… and next her skin turned green.

"This is the greatest show!" The three sang in unison as the girl who just had stood before Birch was no longer human but instead a frog that was swiftly kicked into the crowd… and promptly eaten up by a very hungry Fanglar.

As the masks chanted their next verse, the giant one rose up before the still standing snake monster, its mouth opening wide as Chance skipped happily out of it.

"Colossal we come these renegades in the rain!" she sang as she threw her knife up, hitting one of the dancers as she plummeted down, smacking into the floor.

"Where the lost get found in the crown of the circus king!" she yelled as the giant snake picked her up, holding her on his tail allowing her to dance above the crowd.

"Don't fight it, it's coming for you, running at ya!" all four now sang as the three beneath the beast took their respective places around it.

"It's only this moment, don't care what comes after!" The three sang now as they turned to look at the giant illusion as its face burst into fire, as it looked around the crowd, its face looking far more demonic.

"It's blinding outside and I think that you know!" Megafin sang sharply as he pointed his left claw at the giant beast as it now stared at him, the remnants of a mouth stretching out into a giant smile.

"Just surrender 'cause you're calling and you wanna go!" Kronos yelled at it throwing his cutlass right into its face as its head now exploded, the beast dissipating as Chance was deftly caught by Heisenberg whilst now revealing the thing underneath the illusion.

"Where it's covered in all the colored lights! Where the runaways are running the night!" Calamity sang as she danced around a wheel of fortune, on which Faraday was strapped on hastily.

"Impossible comes true!" Ink Blotch sang as she was lowered down now, activating her own extra, a giant buzzsaw that snapped one of the lines of the still twirling dancers in the air, causing him to fall down too, snapping onto the ground.

"Intoxicating you!" Biowulf added on that, standing over the just fallen dancer, stabbing him in his chest with his newly added toxin causing him to suddenly lift back up, his snapped neck still causing his head to tilt sideways.

"This is the greatest show!" They all sang in unison as Biowulf was now gently let down by Van Kleiss who offered his hand as the two instead took the moment to do the tango.

"We light it up, we won't come down!" Adam roared out as he stood next in the middle, an array of flamethrowers spewing their flames up.

"And the sun can't stop us now!" Chance roared as she jumped onto his back, her face covered in blood as she had just smeared some on it by one of the recently deceased.

"Watching it come true, it's taking over you!" All of them now sang together as the flamethrowers once more spewed their flames up into the air, barely missing Van Kleiss who was nearly twirled too close to one by Biowulf.

"This is the greatest show!" The rest of the villains roared along with them as the circus freaks all looked around with a smile, the dancers now finally being lowered from their rings in the air, as others now came into the ring, pushing a giant box forth.

The squad was watching, clapping along to the beat as the new recruits and Edgerunners were surprised and bamboozled as Faraday screamed and almost vomited, the dancers simply carrying the guts of someone and their recently deceased colleague off with them as they had all demented smiles on their faces.

Faraday wanted to close his eyes tightly as he spun around on the wheel of fortune, as she quickly opened them, forced now to keep them open so he wouldn't lose his sense of direction.

The music dropped slightly as the entire crowd now started to clap along with the beat as the circus freaks gathered around the giant box, whilst the wheel of fortune slowed again, so Faraday could finally focus once more.

"Where it's covered in all the colored lights, where the runaways are running the night!" they all sang as they danced around the box, as it slowly began to emit smoke from it, the top of the box opening slowly.

"Impossible comes true, intoxicating you!" they turned again, their backs to the box, each one facing the crowd now.

"THIS IS THE GREATEST SHOW!" Jack roared as he jumped out of the box, as the flamethrowers shot their fires up high and fireworks erupted across the tent as Jack jumped off from the box, deftly holding the hand of Heisenberg before he kissed it, causing the man to smile widely.

"We light it up, we won't come down!" Jack sang, giving a nod to Circe as the witch pressed another button behind the wheel of fortune dropping another body in front of Faraday… and above the flamethrowers.

"And the walls can't stop us now!" They all sang together as Jack now climbed back onto the platform of the wheel, changing positions with Circe as he was raised into the air now.

"Watching it come true, it's taking over you!" they all roared as the flamethrowers once more shot up, burning its victim above them, his screams of pain and torture causing Faraday to lose all hope.

"This is the greatest show!" Jack roared once more as all around him fireworks lit up, bursting and illuminating the tent, allowing Faraday to look at all the different monsters and freaks surrounding him as he knew… he was probably not going to survive.

"Ladies and gentlemen, freaks and misfits of all ages, tonight… Tonight we're going to do things a bit differently than usual!" he announced as the rest of his crew now turned to even look at him in slight surprise.

"Usually we do the murder, we do the killing… Well, that is what is going to stay… However, tonight, we decide WHO gets to make a brand new monster and how they get to make it! With our bigger, upgraded, WHEEL OF CHANCE!" he yelled out loud before holding his arms outstretched to Faraday who still looked around nervously in pure panic.

"And tonight our lovely assistant on the wheel is… I don't know who, who was it again?"

"Faraday." Xsowshiha clarified.

"FARADAY! What kind of dumb name is that? Were real names no longer available?" he commented as he laughed having the rest of the villains let out a hearty chuckle as well as they all stared at the man.

"Come on Faraday, what's with the long face? You're the star of the show! You should smile a bit more… oh wait…" Jack stated as he looked at his pointing at the carved smile on his cheeks as the rest of the crew laughed along with him.

Faraday was scrambling, eyes looking in different directions as he was suddenly face to face with Adam Smasher. "I'm saved!" he thought to himself, thinking the borg was here to save him. "Go on, Adam Smasher, that's David Martinez! Take these freaks out, then kill the boy-"

"Who the fuck are you?" The borg asked the Fixer, who was left speechless from the provocation.

"Alright then, let's see what we got on the menu whilst we get our next… willing participant!" he stated as he pointed at the wheel as Delphi and Heisenberg gave a nod to get their next victim.

"First up, the steamroller! Guaranteed to flatten your loved ones but thankfully you can always fold them and take them everywhere you go! Next, we got the Green… it's not easy being it but we don't really care." Jack stated as listed off the things on the wheel as the remaining crew members grinned as around the ring small bursts of laughter came up.

"Next… the last Chance… believe me, if we had more I would have snapped!" Jack stated as Chance glared and pointed her knife at him as the clown simply ignored her, not even slightly intimidated by her.

"Over here we got Stew… well, I think we need a good way to sell popcorn after all. And finally, my favorite, THE! BIG! ASS! SAW!" he declared, getting a roaring applause at the last suggestion as it was also the largest part on the wheel as Serah tried to look behind her seeing Delphi and Heisenberg drag the newest victim in.

"This vic- I mean, participant hails from a different world, he was so ugly that we technically did the world a favor with that bag… according to the fact he had an iron mask on! He might not know where he is now but he doesn't know what happened to him before that either! Give him a hand… ALPHEN!"

Jack yelled as the audience only politely applauded as the young man just looked around in astonishment wondering what was even going on.

"Wh… where am I? What are you guys doing?!" Alphen asked as he was quickly silenced by a blade under his throat.

"Mister Irony couldn't feel pain before… we want to test that!" Jack stated as he grinned looking at Heisenberg as he offered him his hand. "So, as we already had the head toss before, the first one to take a spin… HEISENBERG!"

"Such an honor. Let's see if daddy is bringing it home!" Heisenberg gave a pull on the wheel as the fixer began to spin around, as he was forced to close his eyes to keep himself from vomiting as the rest of the crew crowded around the wheel.

"And it is… STEAMROLLER!" Jack hollered out as a large amount of the audience screamed and applauded as the rest of the crew just shook their heads.

"It figures… he cheated." Delphi right away pointed out as Quarry grumbled.

"At least give it a fair spin next time… I know how." he pointed out.

"Lycans and gentlemen!" Heisenberg smiled as he postered around, allowing only this one time to take the spotlight as Jack eyed him with admiration and a demented smile on his face.

"Back in the old days we used steamrollers for grinding fresh meat! This is how beef became hamburgers!" he explained as from the side Delphi was keeping calm, not wanting to yell that isn't at all what steamrollers were used for, mostly because of not wanting him to be depressed and she'll explain it to him as calmly as possible after they leave.

"Tonight, our daring, bright, young volunteer will show… does it flatten or does it squish?!"

"Wait… who?!" Alphen asked as he looked at Heisenberg who stepped back as from underneath the ground, a giant device rose up, smoke billowing as it slowly roared to life.

It was a giant metal roller, adorned with a single red and blue shuriken as Heisenberg smiled as it slowly started to turn before it began to pick up speed and slowly started to descend.

"You… you people are insane!" Alphen yelled, trying to go for his sword but realizing it wasn't there too late… and realizing he was already closed in as the crew had him basically surrounded.

"Alright then! LET ER RIP! Shpirarkui, come on down!" he yelled as Alphen instead looked at John before making a mad dash at him trying to get away. But as soon as he leapt towards the man, the crew took a mere step backwards as a giant metal cage rose up, trapping Alphen inside it… with the giant roller.

He watched the spikes getting closer with big eyes as it roared, sparks flying off from it as it scraped by the cage, as it churned forward. From the sides there was absolute hollering and cheering as Faraday was forced to watch the scene play upside down, having not been turned back in position after the initial spin on the wheel.

"Oof, those with a weak stomach should close their eyes now!" Heisenberg announced as around him the villains hollered and cheered only louder.

Alphen tried to kick and grasp through the steel beams of the cage as he screamed on top of his lungs only overtaken by the screams of the audience as he was grinded by the shuriken before being splattered and parts of his body and blood were thrown onto the crew as Heisenberg and Chance smiled widely whilst Delphi shielded Birch who smiled behind her girlfriend protecting her as the dark magic swirled around the cage.

"Ohoho… he is going to feel that in the morning!" Jack noted as the roller finally stopped as the blood had now sprayed onto some of the audience, as the monster that was Alphen, but now a shark-like beast colored black and white with jigsaw pieces of his body missing and having a steamroller tail climb out of the cage and roared monstrously.

"Give it up for our resident mad technical genius! Heisenberg!" Jack announced as Heisenberg took a bow whilst being rewarded with applause as the roller once more retracted under the ground, hidden from view as if it had never been there before.

Lucy had kept her eyes closed tightly during the entire ordeal as she only dared to glance a bit whilst the act was happening but heard every bone crunching and chilling scream sound that was happening before it ended. At the end she felt sick in her stomach and was close to throwing up.

"Oi, Lucy, hold it in will ya, we don't want to gross out the audience, we just want to cover them in blood!"

Lucy yelped as she was almost hit in the face by Birch, forced to open her eyes staring right in the maniacal face of the insane artist.

"You're all short-circed, and I somehow like it."

"Well no shit! You think regular people do this for fun?!" she snarked, as she turned towards Jack.

"Hey Jack, can I give four eyes over there the Last Chance? Can I please, pretty please with sprinkles on top?" Birch asked as she smiled happily waving at Jack who finally gave a shrug as he walked up to Heisenberg the latter smiling back at the clown.

"Go knock him dead kiddo!"

"What… What's the last chance?" Faraday asked out of fear, as Birch smiled as she stared up into his face.

"THERE AIN'T ONE! THAT'S THE JOKE!"

Birch started to laugh at the top of her lungs as she began to slash Faraday wildly with her scythe, the fixer not having the strength to defend himself as he was slashed over and over and over again, begging for mercy as she sliced and diced him up, before Birch finally stood up and smiled, Faraday now a fresh corpse with his head kicked towards David, who grabbed it.

"I gave him a chance… I didn't say it was fair."

It got another happy laugh from the audience who applauded her as well as Jack grinned, turning back from Heisenberg who stood now a bit dreamily before shaking awake again.

"Short but to the point. Just like the scythe in Faraday." he joked as well and laughed when Birch pulled the scythe out from her victim and smiled happily giving a small curtsy as well.

"So, this is the X-Squad, huh?" John asked. "Us against them. Do we like these odds?"

Skalamander threw out his arm, shooting hard green crystals that took out half the police force before they could even react. "We have a good advantage," he said.

Gatlocke's arm had shifted to gun mode. "I'm guessing more will be following up. We'll just have to show them what a blessing it truly is to be an EVO, won't we? HAVE AT IT!"

"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?" Zap said.

PROP HUNT!!!!!

"What's a prop hunt?" Quarry asked.

"Well, that ruined the moment," Satsuki snarked.

"Prop hunt is basically where there are 2 teams, the hunters and the props, the hunters find the props and kill them, the props can turn into anything on the appropriate side, unless you're playing the Call Of Duty version," Anubis said, appearing out of nowhere.

"So, that's what's happening now?" John asked.

"Well, we can't really die in it, so it doesn't count."

"You actually disappear and then start the process all over," Anubis said, wearing large glasses and reading a book called 'Prop Hunt 101'.

"And how the hell do you know all about this?" Roman said, crossing his arms.

"That is for me to know and for you to find out," Anubis winked at them.

"Okay let's do this!" Voidlon yelled.

5 minutes on the clock, go!

The crew split into different rooms, each of them taking different forms (But I will not say what...).

"Okay gang, let's go!" Karl shouted, waving around a giant hammer.

4:06 minutes...

Quarry walked into Victoria's Secret, stomping around.

"Hello, what're you doing here?" Voidlon said, the voice sounded throughout the room, not even giving away his location.

Quarry walked past and saw a table.

Stacked with over 8 candles.

"Which one am I?" Voidlon taunted, Quarry smashed it, he was none of them.

"Hey, you flung me around!" Voidlon yelled, Quarry then walked over to his location, he was a cup.

"Wait, you weren't there before," he grinned.

Voidlon mentally sweatdropped, "Oh fuck... AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Voidlon leapt off the table and ran out of the room, where he passed Roman, who was being chased by Delphi.

"Boo-do-ba-do!" Roman sang, disguised as a banana while dragging a wand with him, trying to piss off Delphi, which succeeded.

"Get back here!!!" Delphi yelled, which was only answered by maniacal laughter.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!" Stocking yelled as she was being chased by Kronos, who was holding a leash and collar.

"I'm getting myself a refrigerator!!!" he yelled.

"FUCK!!!" She yelled as Kronos caught her and dragged her around.

"Get over here, you cheeky bloke!" Gatlocke yelled, firing plasma at Neo, who was a running lamp.

Voidlon ran as fast as he could, he then disguised himself as a book and hid himself inside the library, Quarry followed him into the library, but didn't see where he hid, "Where are you?" he demanded.

"I'll give you a hint: I'm a fucking book," Voidlon burst into laughter, Quarry fumed in annoyance, he then saw in the corner of the newly given HUD, Yuina was caught by Chance and Kronos took Satsuki and Neo, Roman then slid underneath Quarry and continued moving, Delphi and Gatlocke burst into the room, crashing into Quarry, shits and giggles continued once more.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Delphi yelled in pain as she literally hit granite, Roman turned into a magazine and hid among the books.

"Hey, Bigfoot maneuver?" Roman, a grin stretched across his face.

"Definitely," Voidlon concentrated and turned into a satellite dish when Quarry, Gatlocke and Delphi turned away.

Operation Bigfoot is a-go.

Voidlon quickly then turned back into a book when they turned around, Roman couldn't stop laughing, along with everyone that wasn't a hunter.

"This is going to be fun..." Voidlon said.

"HELP ME!!!" Muty screamed, she managed to escape from Kronos.

"Come back!" Kronos yelled, this time hold both his flintlock and a banana.

You're the last one, complete the mission!

"Remember your training, Operation Bigfoot!" Roman yelled, as everyone left the store, suspicious about his location.

"Do it!" Zap yelled.

Voidlon then turned into a satellite dish.

"Hey, Bigfoot's looking for you!" Voidlon laughed hysterically, he then poofed into a lamp when Birch ran through the room.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" everyone laughed.

"What're you all laughing at, and what the heck is Bigfoot?!?!?!" Delphi demanded.

30 seconds on the clock!

"Oh shit, he's gonna get reckless!" Roman said excitedly.

"What the heck, that's it!" Van Kleiss went in guns blazing, but Voidlon took a cardboard box and lobbed it at him.

The very weak cardboard box made contact with Van Kleiss.

And sent him flying into a gas tank, which blew up, sending the Deadlight members flying into a rift, taking the Shpirarkui with them as Zinner sliced it with dark magic, purifying it as it disintegrated and Alphen's soul being laid to rest.

The game was finished.

"What the fuck did I witness?!?!" Adam said.

"Pure chaos," Mera chuckled.

[Nah, that's unbridled awesomeness]

[and also comedy]

Awkward silence...

"So, see you later?"

"Sure! Just try to go easy next time, will ya?" Gatlocke said from beyond the rift.

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like… victory." Kiwi watched as Smasher reveled in the chaos around him, engulfed in flames as he walked out of the mall without so much as a scratch on his chrome.

"God, that's so fucking badass…" Kiwi thought to herself as her hands clenched. She knew what to expect when it came to Smasher, but seeing the borg in the flesh was another thing. She was getting all bothered fantasizing about him when she was suddenly snapped out of her thoughts by her crew members commenting about how cool he looked.

"Call the fire department," David mumbled to himself, in awe of the roaring flames. The smoke was billowing into the Night City air as the screaming Voodoo boys and fleeing minions were suddenly silent.

"We just fucking nuked the building," Rebecca finished David's reference, as they all collectively agreed that Smasher was a force to be reckoned with.

"I'm glad someone like that is on our side," Falco commented, before lighting up his cigarette. Kiwi was happy that the group was accepting Adam as their new crew member. "Means I have all the time in the world to get to know him," Kiwi whispered to herself, unaware that Lucy had caught her.

"Gross, keep your chrome fetish to yourself." Lucy offhandedly commented, knowing that her mentor had posters of Adam Smasher all over her bedroom walls.

"It's not because of what he does, I just like a man that can fill out an ACPA, don't judge, besides Adam's bi and I'm way outta his league. Fuck off and choke on David's Mr. Studd, Lucy. Let me fangirl in peace," Kiwi's words dripped with venom, "mama knows what she wants, that's all."

"First of all, how dare you, David is completely 'ganic down there." Lucy looked offended as she was sitting in David's lap, much to his dismay. "And second of all, you're fucking drooling under your face mask, I thought that was impossible," she stated, pointing toward Kiwi's mouth.

She wiped her mouth to feel nothing, looking back at Lucy's smug face as she blushed a deep red. But the day wasn't yet over, as a Dark green Custom Quadra suddenly pulled up next to David and Smasher.

"I see the job's been done, well done. Smasher, you're still a prick, but if you're running with this crew, you must have had a change of heart," The Queen of the Afterlife admitted to the crew after rolling her window down. "Consider yourself unbanned from the Afterlife, and the rest of you are allowed inside. But if any of you try to use this rep to do whatever the fuck you want, just know that I will find out."

Her quick threat was met with an immediate "Yes" as she drove off back to the Afterlife, leaving as fast as she arrived.

"Holy shit, we just got invited to the Afterlife by the fucking Queen herself."

"Guys, please. I just got shot. Can we just go back home already?"

Lucy quickly interrupted David, "Yeah yeah, tough guy, but not after we get you hammered."

"My life is preem, and I do preem shit," was David's only response to Lucy's proclamation, and he believed every single word.

"Not a fucking word to him, understand?" Kiwi's threats were usually empty, but a quick short circuit sent the message to Lucy. In response, she quickly sent a reboot optic quickhack to Kiwi, knowing that her mentor hated being in the dark.

As Kiwi's vision darkened, she couldn't help but fidget around as she waited for the quick hack to wear off. "Gah! Fuck you, Lucy, I'll fucking kill…"

When her vision was restored, the first thing Kiwi saw was the silhouette of Adam Smasher in front of her door, tapping on the window.

Rolling the window down, he begins to speak to Kiwi in the gruff, robotic voice that they're all accustomed to at this point.

"I want to hitch a ride, mind if I tag along?" Smasher's innocent request to ride back to Westbrook with the crew was adorable as hell, and Kiwi was quick to respond to such an earnest request.

"Of course, choom. You can fit in the back!" Kiwi said excitedly, eyes gleaming as she faced Falco with an intense flare. "Do not ruin this for me, you cowboy fuck."

Falco couldn't help but sigh as he broke off the staring contest with Kiwi. "Let me just unlock the back, go ahead and go around back, Adam."

"Much obliged. Thanks for the ride, Falco."

Kiwi's day just went from great to amazing, watching Smasher's frame slink into the car with ease as the X-Squad somehow were able to merge the banana bus with the car.

"Alright folks, buckle up, we're in for a long drive," Falco said as his optics were blue, most likely scanning the Police comms, "Just got word that the NCPD is quarantining Pacifica, and the Fire Department is on standby to stop the fire from spreading to Santo Domingo and Haywood.

Kiwi took a drag of her cigarette and exhaled the smoke slowly, allowing the nicotine to finally calm her horny ass down, "It's fucking Pacifica, what did we expect?"

The group all groaned, knowing that the usual 30-minute trip would most likely last them hours, having to go completely around Night City into the badlands just to avoid the sanction around the two districts.

At least the stars look nice when you're out there.

While taking the scenic route in the badlands, Kiwi was sitting in absolute silence after they had finally left Pacifica. They could keep their guard down while in the Badlands as the Raffen Shiv learned their lesson the hard way about fucking with the Edgerunners.

The silence, however, was boring as hell, and Kiwi needed at least something to keep her awake.

Reaching for the radio, Falco attempted to stop Kiwi from turning the volume knob, but the radio roared to life as it began playing music.

It just so happened that the song that was playing was Falco's most hated song: Fly Project's Toca Toca cover by Us Cracks, a Japanese Lazrpop band that's been growing bigger and bigger over the last half-decade.

Hearing the harsh synths accompanied by a random assortment of noise, the crew woke up slowly and began to laugh.

"Hah!, Hey Falco, it's your favorite song! C'mon, sing along!" David exclaimed with a smile growing on his face, Lucy snuggling closer to David's chest as she begins to smile as well. Rebecca woke up and immediately started to jam out, making Lucy laugh as the X-Squad just vibed to it.

Falco knew where this was going, but Kiwi had slapped his hand away from the radio, and gave him a half-glare, challenging Falco. "I fucking dare you to try and change the song ." she smiled when Falco did a deep sigh, seemingly resigned from the whole situation.

In a last-ditch effort, Falco pleaded with the crew, "Please don't start singing, y'all know I hate-."

David was quick to interrupt Falco, as he immediately started to sing.

"Oh, you say no, no, no, I say no, no, no, no!"

"And here we go," Falco whispered to himself, entertaining Kiwi with his suffering. Little did they all know that they were going to enjoy this song a lot more in a bit.

Lucy sat up quickly, pushing herself off of David as she rubbed her eyes. She looked into Falco's rearview mirror with the biggest shit-eating grin Kiwi's seen on her face for a while before she went along with David's antics. The accompanying "You say take me home, I say Dom Perignon." made Rebecca giggle from where she was laying down and caused her to quickly sit up as well, getting ready to join in.

David's enthusiasm was infecting the car, much to Kiwi's delight. "You say no, no, no, I say no, no, no, no!" made Falco's face turn sour, as he gripped the steering wheel harshly.

Rebecca knew when to jump in next, yelling out "No, no, no, no~" turning the duet into a trio. "Oh, he's going to flip his shit when I join in." Kiwi thought to herself, mischievously grinning.

Voidlon wasted no time in yelling "Hasta la vida loca, loca, loca, loca~", pointing towards Kiwi, signaling her time to also join in on the fun. Falco tried to glare at her, but Kiwi smiled with her eyes as she swayed her body from side to side.

Kiwi turned the quartet into a quintet, one of Falco's worst nightmares, as her raspy voice turned melodic as she belts out "Te encanta la música te toca, toca, toca!"

The group couldn't help but laugh when Julie dramatically got down on her knees, yelling at the top of her lungs, "Hasta la vida loca, loca, loca, loca!", causing the rest of the crew to screech out, "Te encanta la música te toca, toca, toca!" while pointing at Falco.

Zap dramatically turned to Lucy, pointing at her as he sang "Oh I wanna say rain on me forever!" from his current position on the floor, causing the girl to giggle before responding with a seductive "Rivers of champagne~" , embracing herself as she did so. Kiwi looked over at Falco only to immediately laugh, as his posture screamed that he was over it.

That didn't stop Roman, however, as he quickly turned to Rebecca in the same fashion, repeating the lyrics, "Celebrate together!" as he pointed in her direction with his thumb. Rebecca knew just what to do after watching Roman as she adopted an intoxicatingly cute tone while singing "Oh, I wanna say, rain on me forever~", putting her arm up to her forehead to mimic her fainting as she lay back down in the seats.

Hosshiwa knew it was her turn when David naturally turned towards her with a goofy smile on his face as he threw his head back to, once again, yell out, "Rivers of champagne!".

"Well, who am I to deny such a passionate request?" Hosshiwa thought to herself, thinking of what to do as her bit. She decided to fuck with Falco even further by acting like a schoolgirl, putting a finger up to the corner of her mouth and closing her right eye as she gracefully whispered, "Celebrate together~"

David knew the assignment, as he adopted Purple Force's signature Peace sign as he looked at Falco, fully expecting the group to sing along with him after singing "Hasta la vida loca, loca, loca, loca!" once more. Kiwi was readying her Red Menace pose when someone in the back of the car with a robotic, raspy voice suddenly yelled out "Te encanta la musica te toca, toca, toca!"

David was so caught up in the moment that he was halfway through saying the lyrics again before he suddenly stopped himself, looking behind him.

Kiwi's voice was suddenly lost to her as she slowly turned her whole body around, looking at the suspect in question who sang the lyrics.

"No. Fucking. Way."

Adam's optics went dull once he was settled in the back of the car, and the crew assumed he was doing some form of REM sleep, so they didn't try to bother him. They were wrong.

Kiwi watched as Smasher's optics glowed bright red, locking eyes directly with Falco. The nomad driver could do nothing but squirm under the scrutinizing gaze but was surprised once he heard Smasher finally speak.

"Turn that shit up, Falco." the borg so humbly requested. You could hear a pin drop in the car, everyone freezing as Smasher voiced his request.

Falco swallowed before he finally said, "Could you repeat that-"

"Now," Smasher quickly interrupted, tone getting deadly serious.

The crew could only laugh in response to Adam Smasher's request to their poor driver, who could only sigh deeply as he begrudgingly turned the music back up. "Great, our resident leader on how to murder a gonk in a thousand ways is also a Us Cracks fan, too," Falco grumbled.

"I have never missed a single concert, album release, nor a fan meetup since their first public appearance. I pride myself on being Red Menace's biggest fan. That woman is my very REASON for living." Smasher said in response to Falco's grumbling, causing the crew to laugh even harder. Even Kiwi was swept up in the euphoria of knowing that they can fuck with Falco even more, now that they have the deadliest weapon on the planet to back them up when they begin to fuck around on their ride to Turbos after successful gigs.

The rest of the drive was fairly uneventful as Body Heat Fm had finally stopped playing Us Cracks, and was now playing Artemis Delta's "Night City". It's not a bad song, just overplayed in Lucy's opinion.

Speaking of overplayed, the sound of Us Crack's music could still be heard in the car. It didn't take long for the experienced netrunner to find the source of the sound, as the borg was also loudly singing along, pointedly singing along to Red Menace's parts in the song.

Lucy knows that Smasher has officially aligned with the crew after the gig, but doubts still linger in her mind about Smasher's true intentions. If Arasaka knew about her crusade against their Netrunner and were still actively pursuing David for his unusually high tolerance for cyberware…

She couldn't even think as her thoughts were being bombarded by the heavy synths and high-pitched singing coming from Smasher's speakers.

She glared at the bot, but she didn't expect Smasher to look right back at her with his head tilted.

"Yes, Lucyna? What do you need?" Smasher asked in an innocent tone. It annoyed Lucy that he was feigning ignorance about his loud ass music.

Lucy's agitated tone seeped out as she pointed accusingly at Smasher, yelling out, "First of all, it's just Lucy. Second of all, I swear to God, Smasher, if you even think about-."

Smasher was quick to interrupt her, waving his hands dismissively as he says, "Heard it a million times from pissants double his size and triple your rep, girl. Don't bother with the shovel talk, I'm not here to hurt any of you. If I was lying, you'd all be splattered on the concrete jungle floors of Night City; your very existence is testament to my honesty." the borg exclaimed with a hint of pride. Well, if he's lying at this point, then he might as well run for President of the NUSA. Lucy couldn't find any faults in his little spiel, but one thing was still bothering her.

"…uhh good to hear. But I was just gonna tell you to turn down your music, it's fucking annoying of you to blare your music like that when we have the radio."

"As if I'd listen to that TRASH Artemis puts out. I'd rather get flatlined by Dexter Deshawn than turn down this heavenly gospel."

"Facts." Voidlon said.

The after party at Turbo's was always fun, and Rebecca was in charge of the entertainment, using her new cyber hands to do party tricks just like her brother used to do. Thinking of her older brother always puts her in a mood, but at least the memory of seeing him act like a circus clown put him in a positive light in her mind for just a little bit. "He's still a gonk, but he didn't deserve that fate," she sorrowfully thought to herself, before shaking her head.

Quad Loading "Guts" was a crowd pleaser, the people watching her clapping as they watched her masterfully load up the shells and twirl her custom-built Carnage around like a baton.

"Having Smasher around probably means that my services aren't really going to be required anymore… my identity is built on being the big guns, but how can I compete with that fucking borg?" Rebecca's question is left unanswered as she watched the people at the party simultaneously notice Adam Smasher pound shots like nothing and act like they didn't see Night City's resident Boogeyman.

"Okay, he's pretty fun to have around… but I wonder what my place is in the crew anymore…" Rebecca sighed as she glanced over at David, who had his arm wrapped around Lucy. She was glad that she was back to running with the crew, for David's sake, but she wasn't happy that the competition for David's attention was essentially over for her.

She was ripped from her thoughts as she heard someone calling her name, looking up to see David with a dorky smile on her face and Lucy beckoning her over with a smile. "Don't get your hopes up now, you gonk. It's probably just to get paid, don't be a homewrecker."

She felt tears well up in her eyes before she quickly wiped them away, turning away from David and Lucy so they wouldn't see and worry about her.

Walking towards David and Lucy, she threw on her biggest smile before saying "Coming." When she was in front of them, she gave a mock salute to the duo, making them both giggle.

David's innocence was long gone, which usually happens after a couple of years of flatlining gonks using a military-grade Sandevistan. But now, that damned smile is back on his cute, more mature face, much to Rebecca's enjoyment. But knowing the true source of his happiness also dampened her mood, but she wouldn't throw a fit over something as childish as this.

"So," David finally said after managing to suppress his admittedly cute giggle, "Lucy and I have been talking about you, specifically your place in the crew."

"Oh… wow this was going to hurt, wasn't it." Rebecca's mood had officially soured, as her emotions began to swell. She almost started to cry before Lucy groaned loudly from beside David.

"God, you're the worst at this, how the fuck did you manage to convince me to befriend a gonk like you," Lucy growled, making David shiver. "Way to fucking rub it in my face that you're pals with a dream gal…"

David coughed, cheeks red as he averted his gaze from her, before managing to say "Asami's got a crush on you."

David and Lucy didn't get to say another word before Rebecca hugged the detective tightly, finally sobbing out loud. "I take it you want it?" Asami jokingly said but was quickly cut off by Rebecca planting a deep kiss on her lips, making out for a couple seconds before pulling away from each other, gasping for air.

"You have no fucking idea how much I want this… the both of you," Rebecca said before locking eyes with Lucy and David, who were giving her that look that practically screamed that they were relieved. She didn't hesitate to finally get what she wanted, as she lovingly took them in her hands and pulled them closer in for a hug.

"This day literally cannot get any better!" She screamed out from the top of her lungs. She could die in peace now, but not before she squeezes David dry and leaves Lucy shaking. She can finally use all those skills she learned from the Mox, and goddamn it was she going to give it to the detective good.

All good things must come to an end, however, as the group was suddenly made aware of a lone 6th street ganger who was very far away from home as he shot a window. Sporting a shotgun and a NUSA-style magazine, he yelled out "Alright, you Edgerunner fucks! Run those pockets!"

"Must be one of those glory-seeking newbies that want to prove themselves as fast as possible," Rebecca surmised. 6th street was a bunch of gonks, but they knew their place in the food chain. Anytime gigs involved stopping 6th street, it usually meant an easy payday for the crew, but they didn't necessarily have it out for the gangers.

Rebecca hopped off Asami's lap and quickly pulled out her Carnage from her back, quickly doing the same party trick in order to intimidate the gonk in front of her, who was currently staring in shock as Asami twirled her monkey wrench like a nunchuck as the X-Squad immediately strapped up with a lot of illegal firepower, with Beddy pulling out a crossbow and Eddie pulling out two uzis, making the rookie immediately toss the gun away, and clap his hands.

"So, um, the window's on me." the rookie said, clearly shaken from the display of firepower, pulling out a phone. "Y'all take Zell?"

"Make with the money!" Rebecca's theatrics were cranked up to eleven as she toyed with "Guts", twirling it around before using one hand to aim the power shotgun at the poor terrified ganger with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Cash money is always good, and a complimentary phone." the shaken-up rookie had one thing going for him: he was being surprisingly chill and knew when to fold. But Rebecca was the type to play with her food, and she wasn't letting this meal go.

"Get going!" Asami shot back quickly towards the rookie.

"So, I'll see my way out." the ganger said, backing away slowly.

"Okay then, get going and don't even come near us again!" Rebecca yelled as she racked "Guts" again, just for the shits and giggles. She was absolutely ready to zero the ganger for daring to mess up the festivities that David set up and was on such a high after Asami offered her to date her.

"YEAH!" Mystle said as she was aiming two AK-47s towards the ganger.

"Honey, where did you get that?" Weiss asked.

"Voi gave it to me!" She said, as she didn't seem to have problems with the potential recoil. "It's fine! This is nothing for me!" Mystle continued.

"...Great, I have a gun nut for a girlfriend….." Weiss had to admit, it wasn't the worst thing ever, but she hoped Mystle was also into traditionally feminine things as well. Last thing she wanted was for her girlfriend to be a tomboy.

David and Lucy were going to have to make it up to her later. But right now, she had to deal with the gonk in front of her once and for all, as Beddy's crossbow showed off a green laser tracker.

"Well then, the pleasure's all mine, and y'all have a pleasant afternoon."

"Thanks for the backup, Beddy," Rebecca said to the monster, slugging him in the right arm as he looked down towards her.

"You definitely didn't need it, it was just annoying to hear that dweeb yelling." Beddy said earnestly, rubbing his arm as he glanced towards the gonk got into a car and sped off, never to return.

"Still, appreciate the gesture," she said with a smile, handing him another bottle of Centzon to shove down his gullet. The monster happily went back to the X-Squad's table, now surrounded by people telling him how cool he was.

It was nice to watch, but she had her own gonk to fawn over, as she saw Asami patting her thighs.

"My life is fucking preem, and I love doing preem shit."

The party was winding down, and Rebecca watched as Falco drove away in his emperor, most likely drunk. He claimed that he didn't want a bunch of horny fuckers in his car, as he loving caressed the steering wheel of the car.

No one could complain, as they were definitely horny as fuck. But she watched as Kiwi walked away suddenly, not even saying goodbye.

Rebecca looked at Smasher, who was staring at Doom's figure. Curious, she decided to nudge him and ask a question.

"So, you like 'em tough, huh?" she said as she wiggled her eyebrows, but she didn't expect Smasher to actually blush. That was a fucking sight to behold, as her previous perception of Smasher was a merciless cyborg that was born to kill, but now? She was standing in front of a tin man with a bi crush.

However, Ridley told her about Doom going both ways as well, and she was ready to help with getting the man a boyfriend. "You're getting some whether you like it or not, pal."

"You know he's single right?" hearing that, Smasher perked up and stared disbelievingly at Rebecca. "Hook, line, and fucking sinker."

"Just go and give him your best pickup line, I guarantee you that he'll eat that up, and you might even get you some of that, if you know what I mean." Rebecca jokingly said, elbowing Smasher as he begins to psyche himself up.

Watching the retreating borg, Rebecca called over David and Lucy to come and watch the spectacle from behind a trashcan.

What they didn't expect was Smasher's approach to flirting with Doom, and Rebecca wished that she had recorded the entire interaction.

"Hey there, you look like a cut of fuckable meat." Smasher said while having his hand on Doom, who promptly blushed under his mask.

Doom smiled. This is weird, but what isn't with the X-Squad? He crossed over to Smasher and pressed his mouth against Smasher's. The borg was cold to the touch. His kiss sent shivers running down Doom's spine. It was pure ecstasy. The ruler of Latveria was hardly the type to labor under some delusion of this being "true love." Rather, it was what he wanted and craved, and he hasn't ever been particularly good at giving up what he wanted.

"When you're done," Hibiki broke in, "the rest of us are heading to the penthouse, and it would be nice if you could spare two seconds to actually pay attention to the rest of us."

"Whoa, he actually liked that line," Rebecca managed to get out before getting a light smack on the head from Lucy. "Hey, don't be mean." Lucy said.

Startled, Doom and Adam broke away from each other to turn and face the doorway, where the smirking Hibiki and the X-Squad were framed, in shock. After a pause of indeterminable length, Adam asked, "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

Hibiki held up her right hand. "Whatever you two want to do in your spare time, I don't care. Just don't forget we can still hear you."

"Right!" Adam replied, and as he stood up, Roman decided to do the same. "To the penthouse!"

Drakus turned and headed to the Drakerari with a sweep of his wings. Adam faced Doom to ask, "Shall we?", offering his arm.

Doom linked his own arm right through. "We shall."

They strode out of the diner together.

Some time later...

"I can't believe we're doing this fucking gig, Jack." a high voice was spoken, and the owner was a teenager that was sporting a used Lexington pistol as her weapon of choice. To her right was a large ghost-like man sporting a black cloak, who is dual-wielding two Lexingtons mixed with hunting knives. They were walking up the Mega building stairs as Vi was having second thoughts about the entire gig. She decided not to voice her opinions, however, as Jackie began to talk about the deets for the gig.

Sure, they got it from Sixth Street, but they're not total assholes to be hazing new mercs out the gate, right?

Well, Vi had to admit that Spectre was the brains behind this operation, and that was saying something at the least. Usually, it was Vi that had to come bail out Spectre out of street fights but to think that Spectre was serious about being a merc. Vi had to step her game up if he wanted to be a true partner to Spectre, and doing this job right the first time is a surefire way to show that they're ready to hit the big leagues.

Spectre's optimistic voice was still fresh in his mind when he rang his holo, "Vi! Vi, hermana, I've just picked up a simple nova gig for our debut." Vi raised an eyebrow "How simple is simple?" His enthusiasm wasn't infectious, but Vi could tell that it was exciting to Spectre at least.

Shaken back to the present by Spectre's voice, Vi was finally given some deets about the gig that Spectre's been hollering about for the past 10 minutes. Greenhorn or not, his attitude towards the job was elite, and he knew that it would be a good gig right out of the gate.

Spectre chuckled as he was fiddling with his dual pistols, "Hermana, we simply need to enter an apartment and klep a Union Pistol. Although when I say Union, not the company but a Red White and Blue Union…" A picture of said pistol was flicked into Vi's holo, obstructing her view as the pistol lay bare in front of her eyes.

Vi's eyebrows raised suspiciously, as the details of the gig seemed too simple for such high pay, and to greenie mercs as well, "A NUSA-coloured pistol? Sneak into an apartment and steal a NUSA-coloured pistol…that's rather easy." Vi shrugged, it wasn't flatlining scavs or cyberpsychos but Spectre was right, it was a rather easy gig.

The suspicions rose as she noticed Spectre hitting a floor button that was suspiciously bigger compared to the others. "1602. 16th Floor 2nd Apartment." Spectre stated, Vi could only stare upwards as she then looked at Spectre.

"Uh, Spectre… the 16th floor is part of the Penthouse Suites. Are you absolutely certain that the Fixer said what we need is in that particular apartment?" Spectre nodded, resembling a long-extinct type of dog known as a Labrador (hard to tell with the mask on). Over-excited as ever, it seems. But Vi wasn't convinced by her choom's attitude, something about this gig stunk up to high hell.

Vi sighed as she rubbed her temple with her unity, "I have a very bad feeling…"

Spectre gave a big laugh as he patted Vi on the back. "Hermana, don't say such things! This is going to be fine."

"Jackie, every time someone says they're fine it means feeling insecure, neurotic, and emotional and people who are fine tend to die… Fuck it, let's get this over and done with." With that, Spectre hit the 16th-floor button and off the pair went. Vi couldn't get the feeling out of her head that maybe they were in over their heads, but a simple gig is a simple gig. All she could do was hope that nothing would go wrong.

The view was incredible, the duo could see the space sport and the entirety of Night City sprawling beneath them. "The view is incredible, Hermana, these guys must be flooded with eddies."

"Amen to that, brother." They stepped out into the hall and slowly made their way to the target area. "Here we are, 1602." Vi went to hack the keypad on the door, but Jackie saw that the door was unlocked and simply pushed the door open.

Inside the penthouse was not what they were expecting: Outside it appeared prim, proper and quite frankly the house of a Corpo. However, the inside of the penthouse looked like someone had set a bomb off. Empty packs of playing cards littered the floor, bottles of liquor; and the pre-krash unsynthesized stuff at that, along with Broseph bottles and NiCola cans were scattered across the floor.

The TV projection screen was currently playing the latest episode of Watson Whore, which Vi begrudgingly had to miss out on when Spectre called her up. "Just avert your eyes, Vi," she thought to herself, "You have the recording waiting for you when you get home."

They tiptoed all around the apartment looking for that damned pistol, hoping that no one would come back to the apartment any time soon. The place was just too messy, and there was even a random assortment of guns that were lying all about, colourful carnages, a high-tier malorian hand cannon, the works. It was hard not to klep some items, but they needed to find their target first.

It was beginning to get annoying as they had to quite literally move guns around to get to the bottom of the pile. "Spectre…you said it'd be easy?" Vi hissed, completely missing the red hair sleeping on the fold-out bed.

Spectre paused "I did Hermana, and so far so good. Hopefully none of these corpo fuckers stirs, just scan for the damn thing already!" he hissed back at Vi, starting to feel anxious as he felt something staring at him.

Vi was frustrated at having to move gun after gun, and finally said "Where is this damn pistol already, those Sixth street fuckers coulda just bought another one at this point!"

The duo mercs were soon interrupted by a distinctively metallic faux cough "If you're looking for that stupid union iron, it's on your left, small one." Came the distinctively low voice of a cyborg. Vi let out a silent "Thanks, Choom," before her blood went cold. "Oh shit."

"SPECTRE, GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, IT'S FUCKING ADAM SMASHER!" Vi yelled out, but Spectre was stricken with fear or adoration (still hard to tell with the mask) as he watched Smasher turn off his optic camo, to show off his borg body. "Is that lipstick marks all over his body?"

"Yes yes, bask in the glory of the greatest killing machine on the planet. Now back to the issue at hand: why are two unidentified gonk objects operating in my airspace?"

Before she could answer the feared solo's question, Vi's words froze in her throat as she heard yet another voice began speaking from the top floor. "Adam, it's far too early for… this."

Spectre looked like he was ready to ascend to the pearly gates right then and there "Holy shit, a Fangire…'er…"

Yuina's eyes darted between the two current people in her sight. "Tell me why I shouldn't just eat your souls for breaking into David's home, a sanctum, a fortress of solitude when hours ago we had to play Prop Hunt with- Wait hold on," Yuina's attention was soon ripped away from the two mercs and was quickly diverted to the tv. "Secrets and Tears and Watson Whore is on, fuck that, someone else deal with these gonks and get the squad, Kokone and David, we gotta finale to watch!"

Vi hit her breaking point, with the whole gig stinking to high hell before they even started, to the whole gig basically being a sweep and clear of the messiest assortment of guns in the world. Coupled with the fact that she's pretty sure that she's stepping on a landmine at this moment, Vi yelled out "Please for the love of god, change the channel. I was recording the finale to watch when I got home from this stupid gig. I'd rather not dwell on the fact that I might get eaten by a Fangire in the Sandy of Santo Domino's apartment with Adam fucking Smasher staring me down before I got to see Fabian and Shin finally break things off with Marietta and Naoko and go with Mitsuko and Janna."

"Pump the brakes there, Smasher. What we have here are not some unidentifiable gonk objects, but a pair of fanatics like us." David said with a chuckle as he heard the commotion, signaling Smasher to lower his cannon arm, which Smasher did happily.

"Goddamnit, it feels good to find another person that TRULY understands Shin and Fabian as we do!" Smasher said in a happy tone, albeit still terrifying that it was coming from Adam Smasher, but Spectre relaxes his shoulders and gives a big sigh. Vi decides to lower her guard too, because she's also sick of people ripping on Fabian and Shin, and no one else in Night City seems to feel the same.

A voice rang from the couch, "That's because Fabian's a pushover gonk who doesn't have a spine to call out Marietta, and Shin's a dense motherfucker who can't figure out Mistuko's got a crush on him." The suspect in question was Kiwi, and David did not take lightly to betrayers in the crew.

David quickly picked up his trusty chancla, and chucked it with full prejudice at Kiwi, before looking sheepishly at Yuina. She only looked back with a look of understanding as she threw David another chancla to throw.

Kiwi never stood a chance when it came to Watson Whore or Secrets and Tears, she should have learned her lesson by now. She blissfully went back to sleep after dodging the second chancla and flipped off David and Adam. "Love you too," she said, shaking her head as she buried her face into the couch. "Fuck me, this couch is so fucking nova."

David's attention was swiftly back on the two teenage gonks in front of him, who must have been younger than Julio now that he thinks about it, "Alright, you little greenhorns, what are y'all thinking breaking into my crib, touching Rebecca's stuff, and looking for the pistol that I rightfully stole." David was more or less confused by the two greenhorns, as they didn't look like the smartest bunch. Just a couple of street kids probably out doing someone else's dirty laundry.

Vi was the first to speak, not trusting her best friend Spectre to not go on a tangent about being in front of legends. "Well, we were sent to klep a NUSA Coloured Pistol by the Sixth Street gang. Was supposed to be an easy payout." Vi stated, sweating under the pressure of having to answer to two famed Solos that were part of the same kick-ass crew.

David threw his head back and chuckled, putting his hand to his face. "Oh man, y'all got roped in by those dumbass Sixth Street for this gig? They got some nerve trying to klep their shit back, especially since the fuckers that we stole it from in the first place promised not to kiss and tell." David pondered for a moment, before asking the two cyberpunks in front of him "So what are you two dumb kids thinking, taking a gig from those gonks?"

"W-well, Mr Martinez sir, We're…wanting to be Edgerunners ourselves. Hit the big leagues and become legends like you guys!" Jackie explained, fanboying a bit.

Drakus sighs and rubs his eyes in disappointment, "Bud, you don't become a Night City Legend without dying, and for someone as young as you two, you don't need to rush." Vi and Jackie look at each other as they were surprised at how much contempt they held towards the titles of Night City legends. Jackie most of all, because he thought the two legendary solos would understand, not berate his dream so casually.

"Well, at least you two seem to understand the position you're in, so what do you say to a couple of drinks instead and join me on the couch to watch the season finales together?" David offered to the two young solos.

With their options laid out on the table, the only reasonable option was for the pair to say yes. Vi took a seat in between David Martinez and Spectre, and by god was this couch comfortable. She was crashing on Spectre's futon couch currently, and while comfortable enough to not wake up with a knot on her shoulder, this couch made him feel like he could sleep right now. But, Watson Whore and Secrets and Tears is more important, sipping on NiCola blue.

Smasher suddenly piped up from David's side when it came time for a commercial break, as he yelled out, "So, you two greenhorns think you can cut it and become a pair of edgerunners, huh? What would your plan be if you ran into me when I was still on Arasaka's payroll? Hope some beyond the blackwall AI would assist you in our fight and turn me into a shitty final boss fight?"

It wasn't stated as a threat, but more like a question as Vi and Spectre thought about it before Vi stated "Fucking delta as soon as I see you, fuck trying to fight a Borg whose body count is larger than the entire population of Night City."

"Hah, flattery will get you nowhere, Mrs. Vi. But between you and I, my official body count is around the population of New Poland! Hah, don't look so nervous now, Salvador Valiente."

"Pssh, wasn't nervous or nothing, just uhhh… forgot the population of Poland is all…" Spectre said, trying to save face as his mouth was agape from hearing Smasher confirm his body count.

David, trying to change the topic of the conversation, wanted to put the focus back on the two greenhorns and grinned as he said "Props to you two for trying to klep that pistol. Unfortunately, it belongs to Asami's girlfriend, the one that owns all the iron in that pile over there." Vi's skin turned white as she realized that she wasn't so gentle with some of the iron, tossing them aside and most likely leaving some scratches on the floor and on the iron itself. "You don't want to mess with a woman like that, now do you, boys?" David's question was rhetorical, but the message was clearly sent about the iron in question.

Vi and Spectre both took one look at each other and immediately answered back with a resounding "Hell no." Ah, so they do have a sense of survival in those skulls. Ah, how the youth get smarter every year.

David scratched his head, pondering what to do with the two baby mercs. Suddenly, an idea popped up in his head. "Well, if you want to be kick-ass Edgerunners like us, who's a better mentor than the best mercs in Night City?"

Okay, now it's Vi's turn to be a fanboy, "Holy shit, Mr. Martinez, are you saying what we think you're saying?!" Vi yelled out

"Hey. Word of advice, never wake up a room full of beautiful women." Asami whispered lowly, pointing towards her girlfriend, Lucy and Kiwi on the couch, who lifted her hand up to show a middle finger. "Especially the netrunners, they're terrifying." David shudders for a second before he quickly fires the Sandevistan to pick up a grenade thrown by Rebecca and throws it out into the Night City air, accidentally hitting an AV out of the sky as a result.

"The less said about Rebecca, the better… DON'T THROW ANOTHER ONE, I JUST GOT RID OF THE LAST ONE!"

"Well, since David is currently busy with Asami's input from hell, why don't you two show me the iron you're packing when the gig was going to go south." Smasher exclaimed, also trying to get rid of the quick hacks that Kiwi was trying to inflict on him "You're gonna have to try harder than that, choom."

Spectre, beaming, showed off his two Lexingtons and his machetes and V showed his Lexington and cyberdeck. Adam let out unfettered belly chuckles which sounded more like an industrial car crusher "Hah, fucking Lexingtons. David, come over here and laugh with me, these gonks would have shot us with LEXINGTONS if we were hostile."

"Hey now, I use a Lexington," David replied, cutting the Cyborg off. "Holy shit never mind, where the fuck did you find these things? They're like, a decade old." David said in disbelief.

"See? Absolute pea shooters compared to the iron that even KIWI brings along to the gigs." Adam was entertained by the two baby edgerunners before his focus was shifted back to David, "And you NEED to stop using those fucking things too. I understand sentimental value, but you haven't even UPGRADED the fucking thing since you got it. Please consider something like a Malorian hand cannon."

David's middle finger was the last thing that Smasher saw before he let out a bellowing laugh, "Search your feelings, you know it to be true!"

"Ah shut up, I'm restarting the broadcast. Plant your gonk ass on the couch already."

The finales made half of Night City groan in embarrassment, while the latter half was all crying tears of joy for their precious gonk, Fabian and Shin. They finally decided to follow their hearts and ran away from the city together with Janna and Mitsuko, leaving behind an angry Marietta and Naoko who gave chase with their own iron. Things were looking bright for Fabian and Shin, as they finally had someone to trust.

What the latter half of viewers missed, however, in their sobbing and blowing their noses with tissues as Mitsuko and Shin drove into the sunset, was the look Janna gave to the camera, indicating that she was up to no good with a smirk and a finger to the lips, as she spread her bat-like wings and carried Fabian off to who knows where. The ending was ambiguous on purpose, and that's what caused the confusion in the former half of the Night city population.

"Hah, fucking told you gonks that Janna was built different!" Rebecca shouted from the railings.

"SHUT UP!" Both David and Smasher screamed while wiping the tears from their faces. What a fucking twist.

David got up to stretch, cracking several bones in the process while also wiping the snot from his nose and the tears from his eyes. He looked toward the new recruits with hope as they stared back with admiration. Nothing like some Watson Whore and Secrets and Tears to bring future crewmates together.

"Alright Greenhorns," David shouted as he clasped his hands together, "be back here at 12:00 pm sharp tomorrow. Our first order of business is getting you two iron, and Rebecca excels at finding you the right one. Look for Voidlon's car in the parking garage when you're ready to go, just knock on the window, it's tinted."

The tiny gremlin gave a giant thumbs up at David's praise, followed by a quick "Damn straight!"

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out, and about that Sixth street gig… don't bother, I'll call them up right now. Make them think we zeroed you gonks." David yelled out to the duo.

Vi could only look at Spectre with a look of surprise as they traveled down the elevator. The trip down to the ground floor was silent, as both of the teenagers couldn't find anything to say. What was there to say? The most kick-ass crew in all of Night City just invited their gonk asses to join them up, and to think that they were meant to rob them!

"Broder, I think we just hit the actual big leagues."

The bro-five they did in that elevator could be heard on the floors above and below as they threw away their Lexingtons to the ground.

The next day...

Rebecca was bored as shit sitting in Voidlon's car, which was admittedly pretty preem and surprisingly spacious. Voidlon won't tell her the truth when she asks where he got a fucking John Deere tractor from and where he got the materials to make it a fucking tank with enough weaponry to overthrow a global superpower, lying through his fucking teeth when he says "I found the shit in some shipping container! I swear!" He was practically sweating when he shrunk under Rebecca's glare. and his eyes darted around.

Yeah fucking right. No one just abandons a fucking tractor in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. But Rebecca eventually relented, giving Voidlon time to finally breathe.

Bored as shit, and tired of the radio playing the same scop they usually play, Rebecca turned the radio down and faced David, who began to sweat. However, she was in the mood for different questions.

"What's your favorite color, David?"

"Blue! No, Green." David looked like he was thinking hard during this interrogation, and was conflicted when choosing his favorite color of all things. "What a gonk… well that's Lucy's gonk," she thought to herself.

Cuddling up next to Asami in the surprisingly spacious car, she traced her finger on Asami's lap to try and tease her. "Hey 'sami! I'd love to learn about you."

Disappointingly, Asami didn't catch on to the hint that Rebecca was trying to fool around, and suddenly said, "Mine's silver," surprising Rebecca.

"Well mark me down as dumbfounded and horny," she thought to herself as she began to take off her jacket. "Asami, you're such a goddamn fool, now come over here and fuck my brains out-"

Like the Spanish Inquisition, Vi and Spectre suddenly knock on Rebecca's window, indicating that their private time is over and that the two greenhorns have turned this into a babysitting job.

Rebecca was peeved at getting cock-blocked by the two greenhorns, who were standing next to the car dumbly trying to peek through the pitch-black tinted windows. "Well, time to have some fun with these jackoffs," she mischievously thought to herself as she suddenly opened the canopy door on the passenger side. "You're late, you gonks!"

"B-but you said to meet you at eleven o'clock-"

"AND NOW IT'S ELEVEN O ONE! NOW SHUT UP AND STAND STRAIGHT!"

Surprised by the sudden shift of the tiny solo's voice, they subconsciously followed her orders and stood up straight, even though the both of them have a combined total of zero hours in the military.

"I am instructor Rebecca for today, and you two will only speak when spoken to. And the last words that will be coming out of your gonk mouths will be ma'am, do you maggots understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," the two trainees said in response. Rebecca felt the power get to her head. "Damn, so this is why people enlist and become drill instructors!"

"Bullshit, I can't hear you! Sound off like you got a pair!" Vi and Spectre were confused but went along with Rebecca's bit. Vi was especially nervous as Rebecca stared at her with scrutiny, remembering that she scratched some of her iron from the day before.

"Yes, ma'am!"

Rebecca quickly got in front of Vi, who was staring straight ahead in fear of the tiny solo, who relished in the smell of fear. "Yeah, I'm not letting go of the fact that you haphazardly tossed my whole collection," she thought to herself. "Heh, I'm gonna enjoy this."

"What's your name, Scumbag?!"

"It's Vivian Graveside, heiress to the Graveside fortune, ma'am!" Vi shouted back with an even louder volume, hearing it echo across the parking garage. Seeing the other door slide up, he almost sighed in relief when she saw David getting out of the car, but it seemed like the "Sandy from Santo Domingo" was a glutton for punishment as he smiled about his suffering. "Ah, fuck me," was the only thing that came to Vi's mind.

"I'll admit, cool name, recruit." Rebecca said with a cheeky grin. "I'm gonna have fun with you."

"Thanks ma'am," Vi smiled back in response.

Vi thought back to when she witnessed Spectre's initiation into the Valentinos when they were about 12. Essentially, it was a drinking contest that would turn into a drinking gauntlet against some of the older gangers. At first, it looked like it was gonna be a massacre, but this was Spectre after he had drank his dad under the table. Those dumbasses never had a chance.

"Alright Rebecca, you had your fun," Asami said after a quick chuckle. She never saw this part of Rebecca before. Man does her girlfriend know how to get her going…

"Aww, 'sami, you always gotta ruin my fun," she pouted, before cocking an eyebrow and grabbing Asami's pants. The solo began to tease her, whispering in her ear, "Guess you'll just make it up to me later tonight, huh?"

"Yup, yup, preem, sound good," she whispered in a high-pitched voice, "Please stop grabbing me there," the detective practically begged.

"Whipped," Spectre whispered to Vi, which caused the both of them to silently chuckle.

"Yes, whip me, mistress!" Asami blurted out as she covered her mouth and blushed. "Pretend you didn't hear that."

"I wish we could." Spectre said, who was now pale and staring out in front of him.

Rebecca jumped up to kiss Asami on the cheek before walking down toward the elevator that connected the parking garage to the Megabuilding.

"Alright, choombas, we gotta head to the range. Wilson's got some preem starting iron for you gonks, and if you want some modifications to them, you'll go to me, got it?" Rebecca lost most of her flair from just minutes ago, prompting her regular personality to come back. She was just talking to them like usual, which unnerved Vi.

"Yes ma'am!"

"Okay, you can stop that now. I was just fucking with you two. C'mon, walk with me choombas. First stop: Second Amendments!"

"David! My man! How's your Lexington holding up? Finally ready to get some real iron in those grippers?" Robert Wilson, the owner of Second Amendments, asked with a hint of glee. "I spy a happy new gun owner!"

Rebecca waved at Wilson, he was a good person in Night City. Albeit a bit cheap, but hey, we all gotta earn a living somehow. "Rebecca! Ah damn, you just missed a shipment of Liberty's that I had for a bit, some gonk came by and bought the damn box!"

"Ah, don't worry about it Wilson," Rebecca waved her hands dismissively, "besides, we're here on official business. The squad, Thing One and Thing Two over here need some real iron." She pointed at Vi, the squad and Jackie, who both thought that they should be insulted by what Rebecca called them, but didn't understand why they should have been.

"Oh fuck, I've been waiting for this day, the prophecy has come true! The Sandy of Santo Domingo is buying iron from my shop! Cyberpunks from across the country will come by to buy my iron to get a taste of your rep!"

"Yeah yeah, don't get your Mr. Studd all hot and bothered." Rebecca practically saw the glitter flying off of Wilson when he started fanboying and wanted to get the ball rolling on the iron shopping.

"Alright alright, so, chooms and choombatta. I got a couple of hot items right now, and I'll be willing to depart with them for a fair price." Wilson pushed a button and suddenly an array of weaponry was laid out in front of them. Some low-tier iron was near the bottom, but the more they looked, the more preem the quality. Ashura's, Overtures, Masamunes, the whole works.

Rebecca about died and reached Nirvana from seeing so many high profile weaponry, and practically drooled at the sight. She was busting with eddies, and Mama wanted to spoil herself for just a bit.

"Wilson, you really do know how to please a woman," She said flirtingly, picking up an Arasaka Shingen with one hand and a Tactician with the other. "Oh, you two are coming home with me, you're gonna love being a part of the family."

Spectre eyes a pair of Tsunami Nues, a pair that spoke to him. Rebecca noticed how much it caught his eye, and nudged him to pick it up. "You gonna keep eye-fucking those beauties or are you gonna man up and take responsibility?" she said, teasing the giant ex-Valentino.

"Oh fuck yeah, I'm gonna make you girls gold and give you all the time in the world! Rebecca, is there anyway-"

"Kid," Rebecca quickly cuts off Jackie, already knowing what he's going to request, "we're gonna lather them in gold and make them shine. Japanese tech with a hint of that Heywood style. It's gonna be fucking preem," Spectre could do nothing but smile at the tiny solo, thankful for the gift.

Rebecca spotted another Budget Arms Carnage, which she has her own custom build, and decided to toss it to Asami. Giggling as she nearly dropped it from the surprising heft of the gun, she grinned as she racked a shell. "This baby's a four gauge, you know what that means, babe?"

"Uhh-"

"It means that whatever you're aiming at will be begging for the sweet release of death on the one percent chance that it somehow lived past the first shot."

"... How about we make it even more powerful."

"... go on."

"I want this thing to be able to punch through a goddamn basilisk. Can you do that for me?"

"Babe, if you can handle that much power, then I'll let you do me in the butt."

Stammering, Asami couldn't even get out one word, leaving her beet red in the face. "Heh, broke you easily. And Luce said I'd have trouble with that."

Then, the squad eventually found guns that they liked.

Wilson's heart warmed as he saw a high-profile crew practically make heart eyes at their new iron. "You know, people usually name their iron something poetic, kinda like a call sign," Wilson suggested to the crew, thinking back on past customers. "Ah, to be young again."

Spectre didn't even hesitate as he immediately said "Silver Scream, oh yeah, I know you like that name. We're gonna flatline so many deserving gonks under the Night City sun. It's going to be biblical," Spectre said as he stared at his new kickass iron. Rebecca snickers as he runs to the range, much to Wilson's dismay.

"Hey, no running in here! You slip and fall on your back, and suddenly you'll sue me for a new synth spine!"

"Eat my shorts, Wilson!" Spectre yelled back as he shot some practice shots down range. Howling at the feeling of premium iron, Spectre unloaded his whole magazine in pure euphoria.

Her attention is shifted back towards Asami. "Moody Jazz," Asami said. Rebecca wasn't even surprised by Asami's choice.

"Speaking of which, hey kid!" Wilson calls out to Vi, who had been standing around looking bored. "You don't like anything? Seriously, this here shit is preem!" Rebecca saw the look of confusion on Wilson's face and couldn't help but match his face as everyone in the crew turned toward Vi.

"No doubt it's preem, Wilson, but none of them are my style, catch my drift?" Vi responded curtly, trying not to offend Wilson. She looks away from the crew and begins to walk around the shop, looking to her left to see the gun range and Spectre already letting some rounds off, trying to look badass with his Akimbo Nues.

A lone box in the corner on the right side of the room caught Vi's eye, and lo and behold, he saw lights coming from the inside. Wilson was quick to spot Vi looking away from the iron selection, and Rebecca soon followed.

"Hey, Wilson! What's in this box?" Vi's curiosity peaked when he saw the lights, and now she just had to investigate the contents of the box. She did have respect for people's things, however, and wanted to ask about it first.

"You don't wanna know what's in that box."

The quick response from Wilson puzzled everyone. His sudden standoffish tone threw everyone for a loop as they turned back towards the portly shop owner. His eyes darkened as he stared back, and Rebecca couldn't help but ask a simple question.

"Show me the box, what's in the box?"

"Please, don't ask any more questions. Vi, choomba, just get back over here."

"Oh, what's in the box?" Rebecca begged, getting on her knees.

"You don't want to know, please Rebecca."

"What's in it?!"

Looking frantic, Wilson yelled back at Rebecca with a tone that no one had heard the shop owner take, "Please don't, there's something truly horrifying in there!"

Smasher busted through a vent on the top floor, surprising no one except Wilson.

"You lie, you're a fucking liar! SHUT UP!"

"I just fucking fixed that vent, goddamnit Smasher! I told you to use the door like a normal PERSON would."

"Luckily for me, I am not normal! I am the peak of human evolution! The apex predator at the top of the food chain!"

"Apex predators don't get mint candies since they like being bad boys!" Rebecca quickly yelled at Smasher, who was derailing the conversation from their current predicament.

"I would like to apologize for my actions, I have seen the error of my ways."

"What's in the fucking box?!"

"Fine," Wilson begrudgingly says, going around the corner, "but you're taking this thing whether you like it or not." Wilson sighed and picked up the box like it was a baby, gently placing it on the counter, revealing a cobalt and silver gun with a small anchor attached to it. "Behold, my most expensive piece of equipment…the weirdest shit I found after the divorce. His name is Ancre."

"Ancre?" Rebecca was more confused than anything. Usually, gonks will name their iron something like "The Archangel", or the "Back-up plan"... or something dumb like "Dying Night" or some other edgy bullshit. But fucking Ancre?

"Ancre. Little bastard won't respond to anything else." He said.

"Well, it's about time Ancre here finally finds an owner. Heads up choom!" Wilson suddenly tosses the smart gun into Vi's hand, who fumbles it for a quick second. When she gets a solid grip on the slippery gun, she's startled by a noise that comes from the little piece.

"Hey, hey, watch it, just got this paint." the smart gun suddenly states to Vi, while Wilson chuckles at his reaction. "Yeah, fucking got me too, the first time I picked the little fucker up. Well, go ahead and play around with it while I check up on your choom Spectre at the range."

Leaving the crew with their new iron, he shuts down the shop and Rebecca can't help but wonder what the fuck he means by that.

"O-okay Ancre, so what the hell are you really?" David asked with genuine curiosity. Rebecca's never heard of a smart gun with a name like Skippy, even rarer a fucking built-in AI. Eh, it's 2076, and there's rogue AI everywhere.

"I am a Neo-Lupin Item with built-in AI. Experimental model. Name's Ancre." Ancre so eloquently said, with a hint of robotic pride.

"Well, I suppose there's been weirder shit. What's next, there's going to be a chip with an engram of Johnny fucking Silverhand? What is this world going to." Smasher joked, knowing that not even Arasaka would do such a thing.

"Neo-Lupin, huh?" Rebecca thought to herself, "This thing seems so janky, it's gotta be someone's pet project of some kind."

"Alright Ancre, I'm your new owner, any objections?" Vi "asked" the smart gun. Well, not the weirdest request she's ever had to hear but fuck it, we ball.

"No complaints here."

"Sweet, now run a diagnostic check. I wanna make sure you're all okay before we leave. Wilson might be able to work out any kinks you got."

"I'll do that, testing will take approximately 15 seconds."

Rebecca piped up from Vi's left side, looking at the iron intently. "So Choom, you got yourself a smart gun. Not what I expected but-" Rebecca was quickly interrupted by a melody playing from the fucking iron's speakers.

"Our hero, our hero, claims a warrior's heart, I tell you, I tell you, the Dragonborn comes"

Vi couldn't suppress his chuckle as she quickly asked Ancre. "Wha-What are you doing haha."

"I'm making the wait more pleasant with a melody I picked up off world."

"Goddamnit, it's fucking singing again! I can hear it from out here!" Wilson yelled out from the range, making everyone chuckle at his antics.

Rebecca's day improved so much from this little piece of iron, and she couldn't help but start laughing out loud at the entire situation. Smasher's demeanor was just the cherry on the top, looking around as he has pieces of drywall all over his head and shoulders.

"Believe, believe, the Dragonborn comes." Goddamnit, that was going to get stuck in her head. Ancre was going to be a permanent addition to Vi's arsenal, she was going to make sure of that. Vi's face was red as she was doubling over with laughter, and David was watching while chuckling.

"Oh man, I can't fucking wait to tell Lucy and Kiwi about this shit. They're gonna fucking freak when we tell them a fucking AI is inside a fucking smart gun, and that it sings!"

"It's done, I'm running correctly."

"Well, that's good, at least there's nothing left for us to do other than give you a paint job and probably fix your barrel rifling."

"Alright, so what can you do, other than sing Vi sweet nothings while she lulls to sleep," Rebecca teased, knowing that the tough act Vi was trying to put up was being systematically broken down by Rebecca and Ancre.

"My main power's cat-like reflexes and automated targeting. In case of big threats, I have autonomous shooting capabilities."

"Pretty standard stuff, it sounds like"

"Pick one of the three operating modes. First mode's Puppy loving Pacifist."

"Hah, sounds just like you Vi!"

"Ah, shut your trap, Rebecca,"

"I aim at the enemy's nuts. Second mode's Stone cold killer. I aim exclusively for the head."

"Sounds like trouble, we have no clue who could be an enemy or a non-threat. Too many variables and you might end up zeroing one of us."

"Third mode, and my personal favorite, is double dipping. I aim where the user so chooses after an optic link."

"Sounds just right for you, Vi. Lets you think about where you're shooting on a person, and allows you more free reign than where Ancre decides to shoot." David offered, and Rebecca couldn't help but agree. Allowing a piece of iron to choose its own targets is trouble, and the idea that you might not be able to control its trajectory is pretty scary.

"I think I'll choose Double Dipping mode."

"Say less, pal."

Embarrassed by the people staring, Vi could only hide his face with embarrassment as he gets a slap on the back by Adam Smasher, yelling as he nearly hits the floor.

"Hah, at least it's entertaining, my dear boy. Just let it be, it may serve another purpose: boosting morale. A good laugh goes a long way."

"Well put, Adam. Just let it be, Vi. It's always a good idea to have a smart gun when you have fewer implants than your average merc. And a good fallback when you can't steady your aim." David's advice made the young street kid brighten up, looking closer at his new iron.

Rebecca was the first to congratulate Vi, pushing him towards the gun range where Spectre was practicing shooting poses more than actually shooting.

"Alright Vi, take Ancre and aim for the target in front of ya!"

Vi took an amateur shooting stance before aiming in and a burst of three shots was suddenly discharged from Ancre's barrel to everyone's surprise. Rebecca, being right behind Vi ready to give pointers, slapped Vi on the back of the head.

"Finger off the trigger, Gonk! You gotta have some trigger discipline or else you'll end up flatlining some random corpse accidentally and cause even more problems!" Rebecca was disappointed in Vi, thinking that she at least had some common sense after buying a Lexington.

"No, it wasn't me, I swear! My finger isn't even on the trigger, see!" Vi was embarrassed by the whole event, knowing that she had some gun training with the Valentinos that Spectre hung out with.

Ancre suddenly began to speak, rattling Vi's already-shot nerves from the discharge. "Whoops, guess I got a bit excited, sorry."

"..."

"I guess your iron has a hair trigger just like you, huh choomba?" Rebecca teasingly said, elbowing Vi on the side while wiggling her eyebrows

"Fuck. Off."

"No need to be ashamed of a little premature discharge, I'm sure it's normal for a lot of meat bags like you," Smasher said, trying to console Vi, who was redder than blood at this point.

"I just want to go home already."

"Don't you worry Vi, the girls and I all got a surprise," Rebecca said, paired with a wink towards Asami as she wrapped her arms around her.

Even Smasher perked up at that news, and the crew all left Second Amendments with their pockets empty and hands filled with ammo and iron.

"Good luck with that little bastard, Vi!" Wilson exclaimed, wiping the sweat off his brow. He had finally gotten rid of that cursed iron, and now he can focus on the new customers in front of him.

...as soon as he calls the maintenance men to fix the roof again.

On one hand, Vi holding on tightly to Ancre could only dread the future. "God, I hope it's a good surprise..." Vi softly whispered to himself, suddenly getting lonely at the thought of not having an output of her own.

On the other hand, Asami was essentially being dragged by Rebecca and knew better than to question her output, so she simply went along with her antics. Allowing herself to be dragged towards the Penthouse elevators, Smasher bid the crew farewell as he simply broke yet another floor, using his boosters to fly towards their Penthouse balcony.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT US TICKETS TO THE FUCKING MAXIMUM BASEBALL LEAGUE WORLD CUP FINALS?" David exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Lucy and spinning her around. Lucy blushed and smirked at her gonk input's behavior.

"It'd be nice to have a day out." Lucy explained, she fluttered her eyes towards David, "We're inviting Spectre's input that we totally didn't stalk for information about him." Spectre's euphoria was replaced by curiosity, then with horror as he realized the implications of his sweet input interacting with the crew.

"Okay, putting aside the fact you managed to find my input a literal day after Vi and I joined the crew, please tell me you're not going to try and recruit him into the crew," Spectre begged the girls of the crew, who looked at the ex-Valentino with various smug expressions, before Rebecca piped up from the armory, "Relax, Specs, we're just looking to add bodies to the party, but hell if he has a specialty, who are we to deny more members to the crew?"

"Oh, crap. Well, can you at least not try and corrupt him? I like him the way he is," Spectre's request went unanswered as the X-Squad looked away, whistling innocently. The ghost-themed former Valentino simply gave up and slumped into his chair, Vi consoling the large teen by rubbing his hand on his back.

Suddenly, the group was startled by a loud noise. Looking for the source of the sound, they recognized the sound as the apartment doorbell and heard a small voice coming from the other side. Lucy was the first to the door, holding her monowire tightly.

"Hello? This is room 1602, right? I'm Tundra… Spectre's input? Y'all said to ring the doorbell once I made my way up here," Tundra identified himself to the squad, who relaxed as they realized that their guest had finally arrived.

Lucy opened the door and warmly greeted Tundra, "Hey! It's so good to meet you! Come on in, the food we ordered should be here soon." She gestured to Tundra to follow her, and Tundra didn't hesitate to come right in. "Thanks for the invitation; glad to meet you all!"

"Wow, he's a fucking angel," Rebecca muttered to Kiwi, who nodded in agreement after laying eyes on Tundra, who was in a navy blue skin-tight suit covered in bluish-purple armor, parts of which have ice crystals embedded in them. He also had golden ice skate blades on his feet and a long braided ponytail made to look like ice shards.

"Wow, the vibes in this place are tight, I like it. Real homey… you don't mind if I smoke here, do you?" Tundra innocently asked, not realizing that Kiwi had already lit a cigarette.

"W-well, putting that aside, some proper introductions are in order," Lucy said, coughing into her hand, "So I'm Lucy, and the small gremlin over there staring hard as fuck at your bag of weed is Rebecca! She's dating Asami and I'm currently dating David."

Tundra was pleasantly surprised, as he cooed and said "Oh that's lovely, that is."

"And the man in metal on the couch next to you is Victor Von Doom, and just guess who he's dating in the crew?"

"Hah, I bet it's Adam Smasher, huh? I was so surprised when you girls told me he's a part…of… the crew… No fucking way," the rest of Tundra's thoughts died out as he took a glance at Doom, who was smirking after Misty's guess.

Tundra put the context clues together and ran with them. "He's dating Adam Smasher… Man, how in the fuck did you make that happen?" Tundra asked, taking out a grinder and crumbling the buds. She then took out a paper and a small bag of tobacco before mixing both in a bowl and putting the result on a piece of paper.

"You wish to know?" Doom asked. "The man's a large imbecile, yet he can talk his way into anywhere, and for the record, is very beautiful. And, here's the best part, ruthless like me. Though given all that, by all rights, I should be asking what someone like him would even see in me."

Tundra respected Doom's decision and decided to not press further, "As long as you're happy! I won't judge." Doom gave a little smile at his words and he rubbed the back of his head.

Vi's face scrunched in confusion, and looked in the direction of the crew's netrunners, "Wait, how did you guys manage to get tickets anyways? It's been sold out for like 6 years at this point, and you guys managed to get some?" The question was in the air, and all the people in the room suddenly paid close attention, each of them pondering the price tag of their tickets.

"Oh, you poor thing, Vi," Lucy said in a posh accent, mocking Vi, whose face was now scowling, "they're not just any tickets. Look closer, my dear gonks." Her matter-of-fact attitude to the situation prompted the group to quickly pull out the tickets that David had handed them. Their reactions varied: Vi fainted, Spectre cursed in Spanish and then fainted, David froze in place, Falco simply pulled out a blunt and sparked it up immediately, saying "god mother fucking damn," Smasher short-circuited on the spot, and the rest of the squad stared in shock.

Lucy could only laugh in response to their various reactions, while Kiwi shook her head. Rebecca went up and smacked David on the head, who didn't respond in time and fell flat on his face.

Shooting back up, David yelled out "Diamond class Finals tickets?! These fuckers run for almost 1,500,000 million fucking eddies a piece ! Where the fuck did you guys get these things? Who did you fucking kill?!"

Falco went over to the rookies that fainted and splashed a bucket of water on them, which caused them to shoot up quickly, yelling various expletives doing so.

"Honey, we're the best fucking netrunners in the fucking city, how do you think we got these fucking tickets?" Lucy deadpanned, staring right into David's soul after asking the question. The "Sandy of Santo Domingo" buckled under the pressure and gave up,

Lucy smiled sweetly after David gave up, indulging her gonk input, "Okay, but seriously, honey, you know that I've been doing a lot of Netrunning recently?"

David pouted, but suddenly put a hand on his chin and began pondering her statement, before saying, "I mean you're usually on the net when you're home, and that whole thing with hunting Arasaka Netrunners or whatnot." David got up and walked towards Lucy, who met him halfway next to the stairs. "How does this factor into you getting us million eddie tickets?" David asked his output, sighing as he wrapped his arms around Lucy's waist, giving her room to loop her hands around the back of his head.

"Because it's fucking worth it, dimples. God, just accept the fact that your hot output did you a big favor," Rebecca pouted, biting David's back as he yelled in response.

"I'd calm down some more if you just told me how the fuck you got the tickets!" David yelled in mock anger.

Lucy could only laugh at her input's actions, laughing as she finally said, "Alright, you gonk. I've been doing some cybersecurity work with Kiwi, and payment for one of these jobs were some raffle tickets to get tickets for the World cup," she shook her head just thinking about it, "I'm pretty sure it was rigged, though, since Kiwi literally went into their subnet and downloaded the real tickets."

"Hah! The look on their faces when we redeemed the tickets!" Kiwi yelled from across the room, sitting on Smasher's lap as she was eating a tub of ice cream, "Fucking worth it, and now here we are." Kissing Smasher on the cheek, the borg could only respond in jest as he wrapped his arms and his output tightly.

"Goddamnit, you're good… almost too good," Smasher's optics narrowed as he looked at Kiwi with fake scrutiny, laughing as the lanky netrunner shoved her palms into the borg's optics. "Try harder, it's almost like you don't WANT to shut me up."

David could only chuckle in disbelief at what his output and Kiwi did for the crew, and hugged them tighter, "You two are just-I can't believe this- God damn, you two are just fucking unbelievable!" His output yelped in surprise as he picked her up and spun her around.

Vi and Spectre looked at one another in disbelief, calming down and talking to each other in the kitchen. Spectre locked eyes with his partner in crime, who was sending a message to Mama Welles that they wouldn't be coming home that night. He grabbed hold of the tiny merc's shoulders, "If this is what being part of the most kick-ass crew in Night City is like, then I want in. Chingon, this looks like the fucking life," he said while gesturing towards the crew, all in various moods as the boys got shirtless in order to paint their bodies.

Vi could only chuckle at her best friend's outburst, knowing that he wanted this life as well. "Alright there, Specs. We definitely hit the fucking big league," he stated while holding his hand out for a fist bump, which Spectre accepted with a big smile, "but let's make sure we don't get flatlined before we can even prove ourselves. We haven't even rode along for a gig yet."

"Yeah, yeah. Jeez, dude, you're worse than my mother-"

The duo was suddenly interrupted by Kiwi, who was walking towards the fridge to grab a broseph for Smasher, who was yelling at the crew to pre-game. She closed the fridge and turned suddenly towards Vi, who hadn't taken his eyes off the lanky netrunner. "Alright," she said in a neutral tone, "our job is to make sure that Adam doesn't go batshit crazy and try to flatline some gonk for spilling liquor on him, and to make sure the group stays together, alright?"

The teens nodded eagerly, happy that the veteran netrunner is trusting them with the task.

It was then there was a knock on the door. Kiwi got up, still giggling at the antics, as she walked to the door. As she looked through the peephole, looking back through was a dark green eye.

"Open this door, or I'll throw rocks through your window." Kiwi froze; there was no way anyone didn't know that voice. Kiwi nearly ripped the door open.

"Hey, Kiwi! What gives…oh shit. Hey Luce, the fucking Queen of the Afterlife's turned up." Rebecca called, tripping over her feet.

"No…she isn't." Lucy moaned from her position on the floor. Slowly she looked up and her eyes widened "Fuck… Rogue is here!"

Rogue chuckled. "Bask in my greatness later, peons. I'm offended that I wasn't invited after I invited your crew to the Afterlife." She had a mock frown on her face and a dangerous glint in her eyes, a display of power over the crew as they all shivered in their place.

"Hah! You should see the look on your faces! I'm just fucking with y'all," Rogue said after a tense few moments, allowing the crew to relax as they drop their shoulders and release the breath they were holding in. "But seriously, don't ever forget to invite me to a party, or I'll find out and you won't like what happens."

"Alright y'all, come back to the living room!" David yelled from the couch, waiting for the trio in the kitchen to finish their talk.

Once the group reconvened, David began to speak, "So, some ground rules before we get there: No fighting unless they start it first, No storming the field, and most importantly." Glancing at everyone, David's face suddenly went deadly serious, "No one let Lucy get drunk. If I'm somehow not there, she starts to cry and get lonely, and no one else is able to get her out of that state." At first, the crew laughed at his antics, but when they saw the sincerity in his face, they understood the gravity of the situation and nodded solemnly.

Lucy was the first to get up, grabbing David's arm, "Alrighty then, let's go out and go… do what people do before they go and watch sports, enjoy the game. Chest bump each other when the team scores a goal, yell at the ref when he fucks the team over, hug some rando next to us when NUSA scores a goal!" Lucy essentially shoved David towards Smasher after planting a big kiss on his left cheek, with Rebecca following suit by kissing Asami on her right cheek.

"I'll have you know, that's exactly what happens at live sporting events," David exclaimed proudly, puffing out his chest along with the rest of the gang.

"Alright, let's get a ride from Falco to Night City Stadium, his emperor is the only one that can fit Smasher in."

"This view is fucking Nova! Definitely worth a million eddies!" David's excitement was childlike, but no one could even blame him. They had near balcony seats, but the windows were showing them multiple views of the pitch, even allowing them views of the Night City Boogeymen bench.

Smasher could only laugh at their antics, used to such views when he would use the Arasaka company card to buy similar rooms for Us Cracks Concerts. "Hah, fucking newbies. Just WAIT until the match kicks off, it'll get even CRAZIER."

The next 70 minutes were a blur for the crew: drinks were flying everywhere during each goal, people were shooting iron into the sky and the security weren't even batting an eye. Even with his Sandevistan, an actual pope was playing, and a boogie man sacrificed Mel Gibson to Quetzalcoatl, David was unable to keep up with everything. He was pretty sure half the people in the booth weren't even supposed to be there, but before he could even think about looking for security, he noticed the guards had also joined in the festivities as well.

The score was 4-7 in favor of the Boogeymen, and the NUSA side of the stadium was celebrating like there was no tomorrow. Various cheers were heard from the balcony: "Thank god! I almost lost my mortgage!", "Honey, I'm not coming home.", "WHO THE FUCK SPILLED THEIR BEER ON ME?!"

"All this racket is annoying from these fucking pigs, HEY! Watch yourself, Kusoyaro!"

"Oda-kun, Kiwotsukete, you need not make any more enemies here."

David looked to his right and nearly fainted.

"Yorinobu Arasaka, in the fucking flesh. Fucking hell, I thought he cut ties with the corp years ago, why's he got a guard with him?" David thought to himself, not before being shoved out of the way by Adam Smasher, who had a look of recognition on his face.

"Is that you, Yorinobu?" The man in question looked to his left in confusion, but his facial expression immediately turned from confusion into joy, "I thought so, come here, you crotchety old bastard!"

"Ah, Adam Smasher in the chrome! I have missed you, my metallic friend!" The two shook hands as Yorinobu waved over Oda, who was visibly shaken by the borg's presence.

"I didn't take you for a sports fan, Smasher-san. I wasn't expecting to recognize anyone here, and yet my old bodyguard graces me with his presence," Yorinobu finished with a bow, prompting Oda to do so as well to show respect for their former employee.

"Well, of course! I am a man of many exquisite tastes! Watson Whore, Secrets and Tears, violence, baseball, violence, my newfound friends, violence, hazing new recruits, and, of course, violence!" Smasher listed off using his fingers, horrifying Oda to no end, but intriguing Yorinobu, who nodded along to what the borg was saying.

The wall between the two rooms suddenly closed, and the crowd on the Edgerunner's side took one look at Yorinobu Arasaka talking with Adam Smasher, and wisely delta'd at the sight.

David looked on in horror as Adam Smasher was calmly conversing with Yorinobu fucking Arasaka, and the latter even looked towards him at some point in the conversation and lifted his glass, a Johnny Silverhand from the look of it. David could only raise his own glass, a shot of vodka on the rocks filled to the brim with NiCola blue.

He still hated the carbonation in the drink, but at this point, carbonation is the least of his worries.

"... David, how much did we bet on NUSA?" Spectre's voice brought David back to Reality, as he looked toward the teen. He gave a small smile as he revealed that the group had already given fifty thousand eddies to the bookies, betting on NUSA beating Japan.

Spectre's legs wobbled as he pondered the implications of such a small bet. "Betting on NUSA winning while Captain Mizuki's still kicking was 5000! Holy shit, David! We're gonna be swimming in eddies after this shit!" David could only laugh at the rookie's excitement, as Vi tried to ground her friend as Tundra laughed at his input's antics.

"Er, Spectre…we've still got 15 minutes of the first half and the entire second half to play," Vi murmured from the side, trying to get the large ghost-faced man to calm down before he'd attract too much attention.

"Pssh, it's fine holmes! Besides, I don't think those Japs have a chance to turn this game around!" Spectre scoffed.

"Oh yeah? Is that what you think? Oda, give me my phone… Execute order Hachi." Yorinobu's tone turned deadly serious as he gave the order to the unknown gonk on the other side of the phone, and the edgerunners felt a collective chill run down their spine.

Captain Mizuki suddenly called a time-out, and the players on the Tokyo Kaijus immediately vacated the field but didn't run to the bench, but into the locker rooms instead. The confusion on the NUSA team could be seen from the stand above.

Several minutes passed by with radio silence from the Kaijus, and the clock read 78:50 for the time remaining.

Suddenly, a clang rang out from the tunnel, and out came 5 Godzilla clones coming out, all taller than Captain Mizuki, a super soldier, and 4 tanks and a robot looking like Ultraman. Blood trickled down their backs as David recognized the implants on his back.

"Hah! MK1 Sandevistans! Such rudimentary implants!" Adam smirked.

The Boogeymen simply laughed before they drank Paris Hilton's blood and injected themselves with a certain maxdoc that Falco recognized, who laughed out loud.

"Oh fuck, are they taking drugs?" Asami asked no one in particular, taken aback by players in an organized sport taking drugs in plain sight.

"Nope! Apparently, someone supplied them with some Nomad shit, that right there is genuine Superjet and they literally downed Mel Gibson's blood! Shit could take out a rhino on steroids and they did the world a service getting rid of him!" Falco proclaimed proudly, waving his new cowboy hat in a circle above his head.

"Hah, and they said drugs would RUIN sports in the early 2000's!"

The last seventy minutes of the match were absolute chaos. The referees fled as soon as the first shot rang out from the crowd, and instead of stopping the game, the players decided to keep going.

The shot came from the NUSA side, due to a crowd member thinking that he'd lost his whole life savings, and the crowd went bonkers and started shooting at each other. The Japanese crowd simply ignored the NUSA side and erected a bulletproof barrier as the squad chanted N, U, S, A.

The Japanese hitter hit the ball with so much strength that the ball was set on fire, and the wall behind the umpire was utterly dented. When the center backs went to tackle the NUSA first base, they had jet thrusters that scorched the pitch as they flew by. The NUSA players, however, disappeared before each tackle and would reappear once the Japanese players would slide by.

The coaches were furious, and sent the rest of the players onto the field, making the 11 on 11 match turn into a 23 on 23, and even some of the crowd members would jump the railings and attempt to join in. They would be met by immediate opposition from the Japanese players as they would hit them with a bat back into their stadium seats.

The final score was 26-27, in favor of NUSA, and nearly half of the field was gone and stained in blood. The fans were left in disbelief, and with a little bit more bullet holes than they came with. The number of fatalities numbered in the thousands, and yet the Night City Today News the next day would call it the greatest baseball match of all time.

The fan who killed himself would have been the richest on the planet, his 88,000,000 million bet would have netted him 4,400,000,000 billion eddies and set him up for life. Luckily, the winnings went to his wife and children. Rumor has it she immediately remarried and left her kids behind, who swore revenge and sued her for everything, leaving her to the streets, where she was mauled to death by some wild dogs.

The citizens of Night City all felt pride in the NUSA team, as they all chanted N, U, S, A, despite being an independent city. Street Kids, Corpos, Nomads, all those labels disappeared into the night as the crowd celebrated, shooting their iron into the night sky and jumping onto the pitch.

Lucy, being the drunk and high baby that she was, started to cry at this (very much considered) holy event as they pretty much experienced Valhalla, but no tears came out. So instead, she began to whine.

Somewhere above the manic crowd, in one of the Diamond class booths alone, a certain Blackhand could be seen putting a giant cigar into the owner's hand, cutting off the tip, and using a classic flip-top light to light it up. Morgan Blackhand stuffed the rest of the Super Jet that the Mayans didn't use back under his trenchcoat, as he decided that he would give the rest back to the Aldecaldos sooner than later.

The walls between all the rooms unceremoniously went down, and Blackhand was greeted with the sight of Corpo Royalty and an old Nemesis in Adam Smasher. Standing up, the hulking borg also took notice of Blackhand and the two were walking towards each other slowly.

Vi, ever the paranoid solo, tried to yell at Smasher to stop, "You two'll fucking take down this entire stadium yourselves! It's not worth it, Smasher plea-'

Her cries were ignored as Blackhand finally spoke, eyes not tearing away from Smasher, "Smasher, last I saw of you, I shot your optics out and disabled your left leg and watched as you fell off the tower as it crumbled to dust."

Smasher's optics constricted as his hands clenched tightly, "Oh, you must have contracted alzheimer's in your old age, you must get that checked out. I seem to remember YOUR PANSY ASS running away in an AV along with the rest of those fucking wastes of oxygen!" The air in the room was sucked away, all patrons inside were unable to breathe for the few tense seconds that the two Legendary solos stared at each other. Suddenly, Blackhand began to chuckle as Smasher followed suit, bellowing loudly as the two closed the distance.

"It's good to see you're still kicking, you fucking rust bucket!" Blackhand exclaimed as the two arm-wrestled in the air, with Blackhand suddenly twisting his arm, giving him the upper hand.

"The years have NOT been good to you, old man."

David and the rest of the crew stood slack-jawed as the most legendary feud between the two arguably best solos to ever do it seemingly bury the hatchet right in front of them.

"This is perfect. Yorinobu, Blackhand, you MUST come with us. We're going to see a lot of worlds and we get to cause carnage as well." Smasher offered to the two men, who were quick to agree. Much to the dismay of David, who wanted to go to sleep.

"Ah, I haven't been to a good party since the '50s! This should be good!" Blackhand said with a hearty laugh, patting Smasher on the back as he saw the rift forming. He'd already packed supplies, mumbling about getting "good liquor" for the newbies.

Yorinobu was equally excited as well, "Ah, finally! I'm so sick of the parties my Father would throw," he said with venom, face contorting into anger, "we have much to discuss." The smile on his face was genuine, and David couldn't help but sympathize with the ex-corpo. He'd learn the Arasaka version of his rebellion against his father, then discovered the truth on files that Lucy stole from the Arasaka database in a raid a while back as they leapt through a portal.

"Wait," David stopped in his step before rejoining his crew, "Morgan fucking Blackhand and Yorinobu Arasaka are going to join this shit show."

"My life is so fucking preem, I just love to do preem shit."

Prehistoric Park has a collection of rare and exotic creatures ranging from woolly mammoths to the bird like Caudipteryx. However two of the residents have been acting peculiarly.

The female was prowling around the exhibit, staying in the shade and at random letting out gigantic roars. Mackenzie had her binoculars aimed at Lumi who was now roaring at the male Moses. Muldoon was worried about park safety, in case she decided to break through the fence.

"The female Yutyrannus is doing something similar," she explained. "Everybody's worried. The Neanderthals which help out in the park are refusing to come anywhere near this section of the island thanks to her. However, when Brandon rescued them, Maya said that it looked like they were doing a mating dance so I'll have to run some tests."

While Mackenzie thinks up a plan of how to do a pregnancy test on two very large and ferocious dinosaurs, Brandon is planning for his next rescue mission.

Maya was observing a file in the treetop office overlooking the microraptor aviary. Below the little proto-birds glided through the treetops, but with the mesh roof attached to his office railing, a little dinosaur would sometimes scurry up into his office. Currently a male was sitting on a perch next to a Scarlet Macaw. The file contained images and drawings of different species of cat, but Yuina was holding one with sabre canines, only for the two, as well as Taeko and Voidlon, to bump into one of the strangest people they saw as the two looked around and they saw that they went underneath the park. The girl looked young, perhaps only old enough to have graduated high school, and wore a black sweater and long black plaid skirt over spindly high heels. Her raven hair was cut chin-length. She seemed to be manufacturing a human head, or at least a metal replica of one.

"I presume you go by Mad Thinker?" Voidlon greeted.

The young woman gasped, startled. She spun, allowing the others to see her moon-pale complexion, her sharp and narrow face, her scowl. "CODE: SECURITY BREACH!" she yelled.

Innumerable laser guns unfolded themselves from the laboratory and pointed at the two. Maya was freaking out while Taeko, Yuina and Voidlon remained unfazed.

"How did you find this place?" the young woman barked. "Who gave you the access passwords?"

"Please," Voidlon scoffed. "Like we needed one. We come as friends. We have not come to give away your location, nor to bargain for it. We have merely come to commission your expertise."

"And why should I believe that?" the young woman barked.

"Because we are in need of your genius," Voidlon told her.

It wasn't really a solid logical argument, but she couldn't resist those words and Voidlon hadn't known. She relaxed slightly; "I still want to know how you found me when I don't even know who you are."

"Think of us as having a surveillance system that sees far more than yours ever will," Voidlon said dryly. "Not for lack of intelligence, mind you. We just have a greater scope of access."

The young woman's scowl deepened. "Who ARE you?"

"I'm Voidlon Shingetsu, Prince of Barian World and soon to be top tier fashion designer, the rest are Taeko Yasuhiro, Yuina Akagawa and Maya Aida," Voidlon stated. "We're part of the X-Squad, a syndicate of like minds to yours. You don't like being upstaged intellectually, and we don't like being upstaged in general. You were willing to resort to violence to prove your superiority. We're looking to keep a band of villains from wiping out the omniverse. And guess what, Anubis knows all about who you are, Rhona Burchill."

Rhona gaped in disbelief.

"Everything can make sense in time," Taeko told her. "For now, the scope of your world is narrow in comparison to everything out there. You likely don't know where Tony Stark is at this very moment, or you would know that."

"Why would I care about where Anthony Stark is?" Rhona spat. "He's the reason I have to hide out down here! I thought EVERYONE was convinced I was still locked up at Ravencroft until YOU showed up!"

"Don't worry," Voidlon told her. "Everyone who matters is probably still convinced. Like we said, we're not here to give the game away."

"Let me guess," Yuina said. "A robot duplicate's stuck at this 'Ravencroft' place?"

Rhona smirked. "You're smarter than you look."

"And you probably built an impressive emo girl that ran the register upstairs?" Taeko confirmed.

"She's primarily my guard dog," Rhona replied, "but I won't lie; the extra revenue from the goth crowd has done wonders for my work down here."

"So all of this is for making your robots." Yuina wandered over to a machine, poking its lights. "Weird. I can think of many militaries that would kill for this. Perhaps there would be value in getting to know the art more intimately…"

"Hey, get your hands off my stuff!" Rhona barked as Yuina felt up the machine.

"Wait!" Maya yapped. She then moved over to a machine of her own; "With this, I could make my own super-toaster!" She plucked several spare parts and laid them out on a conveyor belt.

"STOP TOUCHING MY THINGS!" Rhona pointed at both Yuina and Maya, then glared Taeko dead in the eye. "THEY'RE TOUCHING MY THINGS!"

"Ah," Voidlon sighed. "And so the trinity is completed."

"So you're from some sort of…other planet," Rhona mused after Yuina and Maya stopped fiddling around with the machines. "Fascinating." Obviously she'd given up the defensive, as none of the guns had fired yet. "And out of all the geniuses on all the worlds, you chose me?"

"You are intimate with this world's brand of technology in particular," Voidlon said. "We are in need of a specialized branch of maintenance."

"What's the commission?" Rhona asked. "I need to know if it's actually worth my expertise, or if you're better off heading to the toy store repair department."

"There are two mercenaries who were active in this world, in this city to be exact." Voidlon said. "I have a vested interest in them. One wore a specialized suit that allowed him to manipulate electricity, and the other was encased in a shell that allowed him to manipulate ice. Both died on the payroll of one Justin Hammer."

Rhona flinched. "Whiplash and Blizzard? Well, that's certainly a surprise. Both of those suits were…rudimentary to say the least, but given that no one else has managed to duplicate them outside the original manufacturers, I would be glad to recreate and upgrade them. I presume that's what you're asking about, right? To duplicate those armors so you can create your own Whiplash and Blizzard?" She chuckled. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun!"

"Close, but not quite," Voidlon corrected. "See, you'll remember Whiplash and Blizzard couldn't exactly exist without the prosthetics in those armors. Not since Blizzard's little accident, and Whiplash…well. In the end, he was just as much machine as he was a human, wasn't he? By choice, too."

"I know all this," Rhona scoffed. "You don't need to lecture me on the recent history of my own home city."

"We need you to build exact replicas of those armors," Voidlon specified. "Power upgrades are allowed, but they should have the exact dimensions and adjustments that if Misters Scarlotti and Gill were here right now, they could just slip right back in."

Rhona wrinkled her nose. "Are you some kind of fan club? Is this for some sort of depraved fetish?"

"I love how THAT'S where your mind went," Drakus chuckled. "Will you take the commission or not?"

"Oh, I will," Rhona said. "If only to show off how simple of a task it will be for me. But I still want to know exactly why you want it."

"Anyways, me and Hammond were discussing which species of big cat to save. We thought of the marsupial Thylacoleo, but obviously it's a marsupial, we thought of Dinofelis, but it was obvious that the famous Smilodon would be our choice. A little known fact is that calling them sabre-toothed tiger isn't correct; they weren't related to tigers. I know you studied lions and leopards extensively on your course so you'll be an expert." Brandon said after Maya, Yuina, Taeko and Voidlon got back, with Rhona in tow, already drawing up schematics.

"I always loved these cats," Maya remarked. "It went extinct around 10,000 years ago."

"They did but I'm doing a cheeky side mission to save another big predator," Brandon laughed. He then rolled out a piece of cloth that had the outline of a two metre tall terror bird with a massive crushing beak. "Phorusrhacos. A terror bird that was the dominant predator until the Smildon came along."

4.5 million years ago the Isthmus of Panama joined North and South America. The big cats, like Smilodon, moved south and outcompeted the terror birds.

"I've told Bob to make an exhibit for them but he was with the Triceratops so I think he didn't get my full message."

The squad is travelling back to prehistoric Argentina 27,000 years ago when the mighty terror birds started to vanish.

It turns out John Ray Arnold may have misjudged the calculations as the jeep emerged from the portal among a herd of frightened animals. There were two species: one was a pink llama-like animal with a long nose and the other was of what looked like a green furred rhino without a horn with a longer head. The rhino-like animals immediately darted into a stream.

"What are they? Are the orange ones llamas?" Rhona asked.

"No. They are ungulates though their group went extinct with them. Macrauchenia. Those long trunks are used to keep dust out of their nostrils but I'm excited about the others. Toxodon, and they live a lot like hippos. Incidentally both of these animals were discovered by Charles Darwin. Come on let's get a view of the terror birds and maybe some cats."

Brandon parked the jeep by the outskirts of a forest with a pair of binoculars at hand. The Macrauchenia and Toxodon had gone back to grazing in the plains peacefully. With the long dry grass and herds of grazing herbivores it was more reminiscent of Africa than Argentina. Then Maya spotted something, her eyes had become accustomed to looking for camouflaged cats. A sabre toothed cat with a black coat was stalking in the long grass. Two others were stalking as well towards a young Macrauchenia. With a burst like lightning the cats lunged at the ungulate and brought it down. They sank their long sabre canines into the soft neck of the animal. Slowly the writhing stopped, as the herd stampeded.

"The cats canines are too weak due to their length to crush bones like lions," Brandon explained "They only eat soft parts."

The rest of the pack joined the meal. The alpha-female and male started first followed by the cubs then the rest. It was true they only ate around the stomach and the throat area. After they ate their fill they retreated into the bush but another carnivore arrived at the carcass. They were two metres tall with magenta feathers and a giant beak.

"There they are!" Brandon exclaimed "The birds would normally hunt by using the point at the end of the beak to stab at the skull breaking it but with the cats being apex predators they have to scavenge instead. Now how to rescue them?"

Back in the park, Mackenzie is busy finding out if Lumi the T-Rex is pregnant.

A giant feathered dinosaur lay on the table under heavy anaesthetic. Her stomach rose and dropped slowly with little strain. On a nearby computer screen three oval shaped objects could be seen.

"She's pregnant."

Back in Argentina, Brandon has formulated a plan involving another Smilodon.

A singular male Smilodon with half of his left canine missing was prowling around the two terror birds who had left the carcass.

"Male lions often go solo if they aren't in a pride," Maya said. "This one looks quite young, most likely not used to hunting with that missing half canine."

Maya and Rhona crept behind the male while Brandon stood next to the carcass, each with their own portal. The male started backing off; it seemed that two birds were better than one cat. As the cat turned to run off in defeat, Rhona opened the portal taking him to Prehistoric Park. As the two Phorusrhacos turned back to Brandon, they were disgusted and charged at him with a screech. Brandon, quickly opened the portal and sent them through. Happily, the squad got into the jeep ready to go home. Brandon set the portal to materialise a bit in front of the jeep. However the alpha-male of the pack started chasing them, viewing them as a threat to his pride, as the pride ran after him, trying to warn him that it's a suicide mission. A herd of twenty Macrauchenia and fifteen Toxodon stampeded towards them as the cat charged. As the jeep darted through the portal, the herd followed with them, with the pride not far behind.

"That was not a true herd, cast offs from a larger one, so we haven't affected the habitat back there," Brandon said.

The herd, terror birds and smilodons were put into holding pens until Bob arrived. A huge chunk of meat was thrown into the enclosure for each of the predators. Bob came shortly after swinging a cage for a budgerigar, whistling as he came.

"Brandon, I've got that bird cage for you," he shouted back at him.

"Bob, just look at holding pen 2."

"They're a bit big! Do you need me to build an exhibit near the Smilodons?"

"We're going back to get some females for this guy. Maya has named the one with a missing canine Half-Tooth, for obvious reasons."

The X-Squad is going back this time only 10,000 years. Around this time the Smilodon and many other megafauna of South America started to vanish.

The landscape was very much different now. All the large wildlife had vanished. The change in environment has had its toll on the megafauna who have failed to adapt.

"Smilodon was adapted to hunting large animals like Toxodon," Nigel explained "When they went extinct, deer took their place, but they were too fast for the cats."

They took the jeep further towards the bush where they heard a rustling sound. They were amazed. Two giant mammals were there. One was the size of an elephant with shaggy pink hair. The other resembled a giant sloth with a long tail and blue fur.

"Megatherium Americanus," Brandon explained. "The second largest land animal to ever live, and the largest of the ground sloths. They lived at the edges of forests, but as the forests vanished, so did their habitat."

One of the sloths stood on their hind legs and made a grunting sound. A long tongue stuck out at a branch to eat the little leaves on there. Abrella and Rhona managed to pull a branch off of a tree with leaves still on it and attract their attention. The great beasts gnawed on the branch allowing them to stroke the fur of the animals. Nigel used this as an excuse to bring out the time portal. He placed it at the end of the branch so as the Megatherium was eating it would be transported to the park. With one sloth through Chiyo managed to repeat it with hers.

Night fell quickly. As the sun was setting Chiyo spotted some scat with cat footprints nearby so set up cameras for the next morning.

As the crew settle down for the night they have to look out. There are cats about this night.

"It's very exciting," Nigel said "Only one camera caught something that wasn't the wind or a bird but our last one did. Here it is." The camera showed three very malnourished sabre-toothed cats sniffing around the camera. It was painful to watch, their ribs could be seen through their beautiful coat. All of them were females, in hard times females often grouped together. The largest female swatted at the camera and it fell over.

They took a jeep with haste. They couldn't afford to waste time with the cats in such a dire state. Chiyo managed to spot fresh tracks and they followed it. It was a lamentable site. Two of the Smilodon stood by the third which was licking a cub which was virtually bones.

"They didn't have enough food to produce milk for the cub," Brandon sighed "The poor thing."

The cats were shot with tranquilizer darts and with their weak conditions it only took a minute to take effect.

A week later the cats were being nursed back to health by Mackenzie.

The cats had already improved their condition. Their ribs were no longer visible. They were currently eating chunks of meat while Half-Tooth the male watched them from the dividing fence.

"He's like a young man flirting with an older woman," Mackenzie laughed as the new alpha-female swiped at him from the fence "We have another contender though with the breeding program. We already got a pregnant Tyrannosaurus, Yutyrannus and, as I found out, Triceratops and Torosaurus."

She got into her jeep and passed the new megafauna exhibit with the Macrauchenia grazing, the Megatherium stripping leaves from a nearby tree and the Toxodon lazily in the lake in the centre of the exhibit. Opposite them the Phorusrhacos were taking a sand bath.

"We found out that the Terror Birds and Megatherium are male and female so we might add them to the breeding program. Maybe also the mammoths as well."

She got out from the jeep at the Tyrannosaur exhibit to see Tempus staring at her with his amber, predator eyes. Recently as he got older he was becoming more aggressive. Muldoon had been cautious about him for a while. Could Prehistoric Park have bitten more off than it could chew with this one?