Fate Grand Order is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

Bakemonogatari is the creation and intellectual property of Isin Nisio and Kodansha.

Still Better than Black Keys.

Chapter One Hundred.

Assassin.

True Name: Araragi Koyomi.

Other Names and Aliases: Oniichan, Ararararagi-san.

Gender: Male.

Alignment: Neutral Good.

Attribute: Human.

Natural Enemy: "I don't need enemies! Get out of here! As if I wanted any more hassle!"

Likes: "I like girls, but that's not wrong for a boy my age! I'm not a pervert!"

Dislikes: "I'm not a negative person. I don't like thinking about the things I don't like."

Parameters:

Strength: A

Endurance: EX

Agility: A+

Mana: C+

Luck: D

Noble Phantasm: C

The Servant has the Bryhild's Beloved Trait.

Biography:

An average middle school student in Naoetsu, Japan. One night he was attacked by a glamorous blonde vampire, and bitten in the neck.

A mysterious shopkeeper healed him and brought him back to a measure of normalcy.

He helped many others in turn, giving his all for them.

He fell in love with the delicate but harsh Senjoguhara Hitagi, and they became a couple.

Now he looks for her no matter how long it takes him.

His is a soured spirit, but you can rely on him.

Class Skills:

Presence Concealment: C

Assassin can move in silence like a vampire, and he is hard to be detected as long as his perversion doesn't get the better of him.

Assassin has no hard times sneaking into others' property, mostly if they happen to be young women. The Master is to discipline him adequately.

Personal Skills:

Chronic Hero Syndrome: A

All physical and psychological functions increase if Assassin is fighting to protect someone in distress. Twice as much, if the victim is a beautiful young woman.

Assassin has a borderline obsessive mania with aiding others even at the expenses of his own safety, which bothers many around him, since they consider him as suicidal. The trait makes him a lot like Emiya Shirou, but curiously they would not get along.

Vampirism: C+

The quality of a bloodsucking soldier of the occult. He was cured but she retained the fabulous regeneration abilities held by vampires in general. As a Servant, Assassin edges closer to actual vampirism that he did through most of his life, but his rejection of bloodsucking was so powerful, it modified his Saint Graph. He could not drink blood to absorb mana even if he wanted or if he were forced to.

He can regenerate from being reduced to pieces, or a lagoon of blood. He feels physical pain, but he can take freakish amounts of corporal abuse and remain fighting. He has no shapeshifting, flight, or control over bats, wolves and rats.

Chopped limbs regrow immediately. Assassin sees better in the dark.

He is averse to crosses and holy relics but not to crippling levels, and he has nothing personal against God or religion. Garlic weakens him and holy water hurts him. He cannot swim in running water like the sea, or rivers.

Assassin isn't affected by sunlight, due to his time as a human, and he can be seen in mirrors perfectly.

Class Representative: D

The pedigree of an Iinchou, the traditional Japanese leader in charge of a classroom.

Assassin isn't very good at his job, being far too passive and delegating most of his functions upon Hanekawa Tsubasa. But, he can rally teenage Servants for the good of a cause if he puts effort into it.

Genre Savviness: B

The capacity to predict the outcome of situations, and the way others will act and react, in the middle of any given conflict or predicament mirroring those seen in an action, adventure, romance, drama or comedy work of fiction. Reality reflects fiction, after all.

Assassin is much more intelligent than he lets on. He reads a lot of manga and knows what happens in a situation dealing with individuals gifted with quirky personalities and the fantastic powers to match. He has, though, a blind spot where it comes to women, mostly if they induce lust or affection in him.

Noble Phantasms:

Blood of Shinobu-chan. Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade: A++

Assassin summons the blood of the female vampire who turned him. It works from the same general principles of the Noble Phantasm of Berserker Vlad Tepes, even though Assassin's outside appearance isn't much changed from how he normally looks.

It turns him into a completely fledged vampire, one who can suck blood and recharge himself, and also one with shapeshifting; he can turn back and forth from fog and alter his limbs into blade weapons.

Assassin gains A++ Battle Continuation, an A instinct and a limited hypnotism capacity, most evident on girls.

While in this state he is vulnerable to sunlight, which makes him burn. It won't kill him outright but he can be reduced to ash after prolonged exposure.

Summon: "How do you do! My name is Servant Assassin. Let's make this clear from the get-go. Making friends would lower my integrity as a human. But let's get along all the same!"

Start of Battle:

"What a nuisance. Do I have to do this?"

"I have nothing against you."

"Why can't we talk this like rational people?"

"I already have a splitting headache..."

"There must be better things to be doing, don't you think?"

Attack:

"Nyeh-nyeh!"

"Fie!"

"Like, duh!"

"My apologies!"

"Sigh..."

Damage:

"This is harder than it looks!"

"Didn't see that coming!"

"What a freaking pain!"

"Eh, I'm used to this..."

"My turn, now! Get ready!"

Victory:

"And now for the epilogue or punchline for this episode."

"The hero dusts his hands off and walks away."

"We, who wounded each other, now lick each other's wounds. We, who were wounded, now need each other to heal."

"I am Araragi Koyomi, exactly what I look like."

"Let's keep it friendly."

Defeat:

"What a waste of time!"

"You sure are an asshole!"

"Happy now? You better be happy now! Jerk!"

"I just need some rest and I'll be like new."

"What do I have to show from all that...?"

Defeat by Noble Phantasm:

"You have to be a good sport about losing! Fuck, no! I'm mad!"

Noble Phantasm Activation:

"I hate this! I really hate having to do this! Shinobu! Let me have your blood!"

Extra Dialogue:

"You remind me of someone I know... A spirited monkey girl..." (When you have Saber Kagurazaka Asuna).

"A girl! A man?! Dammit, man! Stop playing with my feelings!" (When you have Lancer Saotome Ranma).

"Sorry, Neesan. Usually, I'm all for catgirls, but... how should I tell you this..." (When you have Lancer or Berserker Jaguar Warrior).

"Huhhhhh... Don't say anything and neither will I." (When you have Assassin or Lancer Yu Meiren).

"Eh? What? You know Shinobu?! But how can you!?" (When you have Caster Dana Ananga Jagannatha).

Birthday: "

"Happy birthday! Do you want to go out for lunch or something?"

Event:

"We might find peace and relax there! Ah yeah, right! Heh, as if!"

Holy Grail:

"Senjoguhara! What, am I too obvious? Did I say something?"

"I'm bothered by the very fact that people exist, but you're an exception" makes for an awesome Bond line. Pity I don't do those! At least not yet.

Extra! A Mini Celebration of the Fanfic's 100th Episode!

Chaldea Everyday Life!

Avenger (Matou Sakura).

"Neesan? That means older sister in your language, doesn't it?" Ishtar asked.

Sakura nodded in silence.

The Archer considered the question. "What a strange request. But sure, why not? You are more likable than my actual little sister, after all."

Sakura smiled more from that day on.

Caster (Negi Springfield).

They all stood around the table, singing while clapping.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Negi-sensei, happy birthday, to you..."

Negi blew the candles of his cake, and then smiled at all the Servants and staff around him.

He laughed at Chisame, Asuna, Chao and Haruna, and then stared at the pictures on sticks of Evangeline, Chachamaru, Mana, Zazie, Natsumi, Chizuru, Fuuka, Fumika, Mana, Nodoka, Yue, Misora, Misa, Madoka, Sakurako, Kazumi, Satsuki, Ku Fei, Sayo, Konoka, Setsuna, Makie, Yuuna, Akira, Ako, Satomi and Ayaka.

Negi began bawling.

Chisame sighed at Ritsuka. "You'd better hurry up with those summons," she told her.

Assassin (Mortadelo and Filemon).

Medusa went over to sat on the chair. "Night shift is hard," she mused aloud. "I'll rest here for a while before-"

Then she noticed her chair had glasses.

She jumped up and began hitting it with her chains. "I can't even believe it! Why, you perverted-!"

Mortadelo came out of his room squinting and feeling blindly all around, in a long nighshirt and sleeping cap. "My glasses! Where did I leave my glasses!?"

He passed by with Medusa staring after him.

"Now I feel stupid," she said eventually.

To be Continued.