(March 1, 2009)
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"Ramirez! Levi Ramirez!"
A large shadow cut into Levi's vision. Instinctively he lurched backward, his ribs digging into the chair he sat on. A chorus of snickers rose around him and Levi felt his cheeks flush.
"Sorry Mr. LaHaye. I didn't hear you." Levi muttered.
"So I noticed." All six feet, four inches of Mr. LaHaye towered over Levi's desk. It was all Levi could do to keep from bolting from his spot. His teacher seemed to notice and backed away slightly. Levi let out a slow breath. "I asked what your thoughts on the story we just read are."
There had just been a story read? Levi's thoughts jumped around like a startled rabbit. "I uh, thought it was fine?"
"Hmmm." Mr. LaHaye didn't call Levi out on his lack of answer, but instead called on another student.
Levi slunk down in his seat. His tablemates didn't even glance in his direction. A bell soon rang overhead signaling afternoon recess. Before Levi could scurry out the door Mr. LaHaye called his name.
Deflated Levi turned and waited until the last student filed out. "Yes sir?"
"You seem to have a lot on your mind lately."
Levi shrugged. It wasn't exactly a secret he was a foster kid, but it was more of a secret that he still didn't recognize his name when it was called. Sure he'd gone by Levi on the streets when he needed to give a name, but those interactions had been far and few between. Mostly he'd been alone. Which made readjusting to school that much harder. That still not recognizing the last name he'd been given as an added protection.
"Would you be interested in meeting with Miss Janice?"
Levi's lip curled at the suggestion. Several staff, and his foster parents, had suggested spending time with the school counselor. However talking to someone about things that had taken place over the last year and a half wasn't at all appealing.
"Think about some, okay?" Levi nodded reluctantly and glanced toward the door. Mr. LaHaye followed his gaze. "You can join your classmates outside."
Practically running from the room, Levi made his way into the sunshine. None of the other kids paid him any attention. That was fine with Levi. Recess was his time to get a break from being around so many people. He slunk to a corner of the playground and sat on the warm blacktop. Idly he picked up a small rock and traced it along the ground.
Shrieking laughter rang out and Levi immediately tensed, ready to jump up and bolt from his spot. A quick glance showed some girls huddled together and the sound came again from their direction. Levi forced himself to relax. He wasn't on the streets anymore. The people here weren't planning on killing him. Probably.
A shadow passed over Levi and he leapt to his feet. The boy who's been standing by Levi scrambled backwards.
"Sorry." Levi looked sheepishly at the ground, getting only a view of the boy's pants and shoes. To his surprise the other boy's feet stayed where they were.
"It's okay. I'm Michael. What's your name?"
Levi glanced up, surprised. "Levi." He didn't recognize Michael from his class.
"Cool. Do you want to play basketball with me?"
"S-sure."
The next fifteen minutes passed quickly and for the first time Levi found himself disappointed for an entirely different reason when the bell rang. "Thanks."
Michael grinned. "See you later."
He ran to join his class while Levi made his way to his own line. His classmates didn't pay him any attention but Levi didn't mind. For the first time in almost two years he'd had fun with someone his own age. That thought immediately made him feel guilty. Brody was still out there somewhere in who knew what condition. A gut instinct told him his brother wasn't having fun wherever he'd ended up. Thinking about that brought a further ache to Levi's chest and, though he wasn't super verbal in the classroom anyway, he didn't speak the rest of the school day. His classmates didn't notice.
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That night Levi picked at his dinner. He felt Mr. Rick and Mrs. Erin's eyes on him. "Did you not like the chicken?"
Levi looked at the plate in front of him as if seeing it for the first time. Slowly he shook his head. "No, I'm just not hungry."
He saw Mr. Rick's eyebrows rise and he shrunk lower in his chair. With food being hard to come by on the streets Levi's plate was always practically licked clean.
"Levi, did something happen at school today?" Shaking his head, Levi's gaze fell again. "Is something on your mind?" Giving a halfway shrug Levi forced himself to eat a bite. There was a beat of silence before Mrs. Erin spoke again, "If something does come to mind feel free to talk to either of us about anything."
Levi pursed his lips. It was one thing if he brought up he was missing his brother. Another thing to verbalize his fears of what his brother was suffering at the hands of intergalactic felons. "May I be excused?"
"Okay." Mr. Rick nodded slowly. "We'll wrap your plate up for you to have if you get hungry later this evening."
Muttering a thank you, Levi bolted to the room he'd been given. It was simply furnished. A twin bed rested along the far wall with a small desk next to it. A hardly touched closet was situated along the wall at the foot of the bed. Deep blue walls gave the room a calming feel.
Levi pulled out his backpack and flopped a folder on the desk. Fishing out a sheet of math problems he started struggling through the questions. Missing a whole year of school, and then some, sucked. Long division didn't make much sense but Levi didn't want to bug Mr. Rick or Mrs. Erin with questions that he should know. So he continued painfully wracking his brain for information it didn't have. After a while a knock came on his wall. Levi looked up to see Mrs. Erin standing in his doorway.
"Hey, I wanted to check in and see how you're doing. You've been pretty quiet up here for a while."
"Just doin' on homework."
"Mind if I see what you've got?" Levi slid over the math and English worksheet that he'd switched to when his brain couldn't take the math any longer. "Nicely done." Mrs. Erin smiled. "Just double check this one," she tapped a problem, "and I think you've got them all. Your hard work is really paying off Levi."
Levi took the papers back, being sure to note the problem she had pointed out. "Thanks."
There was a beat of silence. "Are you hungry at all? I could heat your plate up."
"No, thanks though."
"If you change your mind it's in the fridge."
"M'kay."
Levi heard Mrs. Erin sigh softly but she didn't say anything else. He pretended he was fine when she left him to his school work. An hour later he finished the last division problem. Sighing Levi leaned back in his chair, brain feeling numb. It didn't matter it was only eight o'clock, Levi changed into his pjs and flopped on his bed.
"Today someone at school asked to play with me." Levi whispered to the ceiling. Even though Levi had real people to talk to now, he had still continued with the habit of 'telling Brody' how his day went. "I had fun, but it made me miss you. Bet you never thought you'd hear me say that huh?"
Rolling to his bedside table, Levi gently reached for a photograph of him, Brody and Dane taken about a year before everything changed. The picture had faded in the last few months and i's edges were torn, but Mrs. Erin had bought a simple black frame to help protect it.
"I'm sorry you're not here. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. But I know you're still out there and I promise I'm gonna find you one day. Even if it's the last thing I do."
With that final promise Levi returned the frame to its resting place. Gradually he fell into a fitful sleep.
.
Gasping Levi sat bolt upright in bed, his heart hammering. His gaze whipped around the room. It took several seconds to realize no one else was in the room with him. Taking in a deep breath Levi clenched the sheets in his hands. Whatever dream he'd been having danced in the corners of his mind, just out of reach. It had left a dark foreboding even without remembering exactly what it was he dreamt.
'Fourth time this week.' He thought grimly. Why were the nightmares attacking him now? Sure he'd had recurrent ones since "the incident" but those he remembered. These were too frequent and felt different. Groaning quietly, Levi looked at his alarm. Three o'clock. Way too early to be up, but his jumping heart and thoughts wouldn't let him sleep again any time soon.
His stomach chose that moment to rumble. After a couple weeks of consistent meals he'd mostly forgotten what it felt like to actually skip a meal. Mrs. Erin's comments about his plate floated into his mind. 'She said I could eat when I was hungry.' Shrugging to himself, Levi cautiously climbed out of bed. It wasn't fear of waking Mr. Rick and Mrs. Erin that hushed his steps, but rather the fear that something from his dream might have turned into a reality in the dark.
Soundlessly Levi slipped to the kitchen, not bothering to turn on a light. No need to alert anything that could potentially be hiding in the shadows. Keeping on high alert, Levi paused before opening the fridge. Nothing made a sound. He opened the fridge, blinking at the sudden intrusion of light. Once his eyes adjusted he easily spotted his wrapped plate. The noise that came with using the microwave couldn't be helped, but in the soft glow that emitted from the microwave Levi found he didn't mind. It helped ground him.
Beeping from the microwave made him jump. He pulled the plate out and settled on a stool at the island. In a weird way he felt more comfortable here, alone in the dark, than he did at the table with the adults. He had been on his own a lot longer than he'd been back with people. Even just two others around him constantly felt claustrophobic.
Sighing, Levi turned his attention to his food. He ate slowly, savoring the flavor. Overwhelming new home or not, he couldn't deny that Mrs. Erin's cooking beat anything he'd eaten in almost two years. When he finished he set his dishes in the sink and turned to head back to his room. A creak came from behind him and Levi's body reacted.
Swinging around, Levi lashed out with a side kick. His foot found resistance. Not giving his opponent a chance to retaliate, Levi stepped in and drove a punch into the person's abdomen. A quick elbow thrust found his opponent's jaw. The other person fell with a choked cry.
Levi stood, panting heavily. All of a sudden it felt like time sped up and Levi found himself staring at the downed figure of a man. The man groaned and slurred out, "Levi?"
Levi's blood froze. He'd just attacked Mr. Rick. Again instinct took over. Levi turned and sprinted from the kitchen to his room. Inside he threw his shoes on and grabbed the framed picture of his family and a jacket. The kitchen was between him and the door so Levi opted for the next best thing. He popped the screen off his bedroom window and launched himself outside.
The cool night air hit him like a slap in the face. He blinked hard, almost realizing for the first time he was outside. His feet froze to the ground and Levi looked back at the house. 'What have I done?' Lights suddenly flickered on in Levi's bedroom and he saw Mr. Rick hurry inside. Even from where Levi stood he could see blood on Mr. Rick's face.
Levi's feet unfroze and he bolted away from the house. 'Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!' He had no other thought as he ran, and ran, and ran. Tears blurred his vision, but that hardly mattered since Levi had no destination in mind. Finally, when his lungs and legs could take no more, Levi collapsed against a brick wall and slid to the ground.
The tears turned to silent sobs that could not be quelled. Shaking, from physical and emotional exhaustion, Levi curled into a fetal position. There he lay, heedless of any thought that he had no idea where he was. Instead his thoughts taunted him over what he'd just done.
'You just attacked one of the people who let you into their home.'
'They're gonna send the police after you.'
'Who's going to want someone who hurts others?'
'Good thing your dad and brother didn't see that. They wouldn't want anything to do with you anymore either.'
'Face it, you're a screw up who only hurts the people around you.'
"No!" Levi rasped aloud. "No, no, no, no!" His voice died out, the thoughts continuing to strike like physical blows. Every word was true. If- probably when- he was found the police would take him far away. Maybe even lock him up. A part of Levi hoped he would be somewhere he couldn't hurt anyone ever again.
Levi suddenly realized how badly his leg ached. It hadn't been used for anything so strenuous since before it had been injured. He rubbed the areas aching the most, feeling the puckered area of skin from his healing stab wound through the fabric of his pants. 'I deserve all of it.'
He felt like crying again, but found he'd exhausted even his tears. 'I deserve this.' For the second time that night, Levi fell into a restless sleep.
.
"Levi, this is Mr. and Mrs. Westin. They're going to take you home with them." Mr. Connors explained.
Levi looked warily at the couple. They didn't look all that threatening. The woman had brown hair and warm brown eyes while the black haired man also had a kind expression on his face. Still, Levi's heart clenched when they took a step towards him. Unconsciously he flinched back against his hospital bed, hissing in pain when his ribs turned painfully.
They both stopped, the woman's expression turning sad or maybe that was pity. Either way Levi stiffened, wary of what she'd do next. He could only imagine what Mr. Connors had told them about him and what he'd been through the last few months.
"I know this is a lot to take in Levi but we're here to help you."
Help him? Help him what? It's not like he had much in the way of goals besides staying away from the freaks who'd ruined his life and the gang members who were threatening it.
"We have your discharge papers." Mr. Westin spoke for the first time. His voice was deep and had just enough similarity to Dane's causing Levi's heart to twist painfully. "The doctors said it's okay to get dressed and we can head out."
Levi nodded slowly. It wasn't like he had a choice. Gingerly He climbed out of the bed and snagged a clean shirt and pair of jeans that had been scrounged up for him. His leg ached with every step but Levi wasn't about to look weak in front of these people as he walked to the bathroom. It took longer than he liked, but Levi managed to switch clothes without incident. He walked back out to the adults, fear stealing his breath at the thought of having to leave with these strangers. Again, he didn't have a choice.
Anything else that was said to him in the next twenty minutes didn't register. He soon found himself in a small blue car, the hospital fading into the city behind him. The drive felt like an eternity. Mrs. Westin tried to talk to him but Levi couldn't concentrate on her words over the ringing in his ears. She eventually stopped.
Suddenly Levi felt the car slow. They were in a suburb. After a minute they pulled into a driveway. A dark blue, one story house sat in front of them. Apprehension built in Levi as Mr. Westin turned the car off. Mrs. Westin turned to Levi with a soft smile.
"Here we are. I'll show you around."
Nodding mutely, Levi followed the Westins inside.
"To your right is the kitchen and dining room. On the left is our living room."
Levi's eyes trailed in the directions Mrs. Westin pointed. The rooms were neat, brightly colored in blues and greens. Levi suddenly realized how much dirt and grime was still on him since he hadn't had an opportunity to shower at the hospital. He fidgeted uncomfortably. A cough came from behind him. He looked up to see Mr. Westin looking at him expectantly. Levi's mind drew a blank and he realized he must have been asked something. His face flushed and his gaze fell to the ground.
"Sorry. What did you say?"
"I asked if you wanted to wait for the extended tour. You still look pretty tired."
"If that's okay . . ." Levi's voice trailed off.
"Of course. Here, we'll show you your room."
Your room. That phrase sent an uncomfortable twist in Levi's stomach but he squashed it. Mr. Westin led Levi through the kitchen and down a short hallway.
"Our room is further down but this is where you'll be staying. You've got your own bathroom attached and . . ." He opened the door and Levi's mouth dropped open in shock. The few remaining mementos of his past life were sitting on a desk next to the bed. "The police located where you'd been staying and dropped off most of it this morning."
A large lump rose in Levi's throat, cutting off any attempts at speaking. He nodded to the Westins in a way that he hoped conveyed his thanks. The gentle smiles on their faces seemed to show they did.
"The doctors said that it's okay to shower now with your stitches. There's towels, shampoo, and conditioner in the bathroom and I washed some of your clothes and put them in the closet." Mrs. Westin pointed to a door on the far end of the room. "Feel free to sleep first if you want. Mr. Rick and I will be down the hall if you need anything."
Though Levi did feel like sleeping again, a shower was much more tantalizing. He quickly grabbed another set of clothes and walked into the bathroom. It had been so long since he'd had a hot shower. The heat felt amazing on his aching face and ribs. Levi stayed under the water until his skin was bright pink from the heat and the scrubbing needed to get the months of grime off of him. Once he felt sufficiently clean, Levi dried off, dressed and eased himself on the twin bed. The mattress wrapped around him comfortingly, his muscles relaxing against the first truly soft surface they'd been on in months.
All the unknowns of what it would mean to live with the Westins crowded his mind. It felt too quiet here, without the honking of the trains and steamboats. And knowing that there were two people only a room or so away was honestly terrifying. Aiden had spent so much effort trying to stay away from people for so long that any sound from down the hall made him want to bolt from the room. 'What's going to happen now?' He shifted and his body groaned in pain. Whatever was going to happen, it could wait until tomorrow.
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"Hey, Levi? Levi, can you hear me?"
Levi blinked owlishly. He looked up to see a man in a blue uniform standing over him. Flinching backward his gaze darted around and he saw another policeman a few feet away talking into his walkie-talkie. A sinking feeling fell in his gut. 'Here we go again.'
