F's ship flies through the stars in the core rim's deep space. She steadily handles the controls and checks her fuel to see it's back at a full tank. She glances back at her previous stop, the Worru'du system in her ship's navigation. "Something was off about this one," she says to herself, "over the past few days, each previous system was swarmed with imperial patrols, but none were on this planet. Why is that?"
F activates the auto-pilot before leaning back in her seat with a worried sigh. She figured the Empire would notice her departure from Aradia sooner or later, but she didn't expect their hunt for her to be so quick and widespread. Because of this, F had to avoid hyperspace lanes to dodge future detection, even if it cost her time. But with this sudden change, F feels fearful that these efforts may bear fruitless against the Empire. This thought leads her to ponder another curiosity, 'how could they possibly find me out here?'
F was trained to be confident in her skills, and her ability to avoid detection was one of them. 'I only ever shared my strategies with a few. Would that still have been enough for the Empire to figure me out?' she asks. She soon sees that such ponderings will only help fester her fears. 'Either way, the best course of action is to stay low and be ready for an ambush.'
F tenses for a second when light appears in the distance. Her nerves ease when she sees it is only a large nebula ahead. Entering its marvelous clouds that shined like crystals, F's eyelids feel heavy at seeing this rainbow of colors while the engines quietly hum behind her. "If there were more sights like this out here, it'd make flying more bearable," she mutters, easing her body for another day drifting in the vastness of space.
This routine seems suffocating to some, but F accepted loneliness as a part of her life long ago. As sleep crept in, her memories of solitude came forth. The many hours she was meditating alone even when students had left. The days training in distant worlds with only her master observing her progress far on the horizon. The weeks they were entrenched during the war and surviving waves of attacks. Loneliness was her first and only friend, even when her world changed forever.
'Everything was so new and frightening back then. I thought I'd never connect with any of it…then you showed up….' F tiredly thought before finally closing her eyes. Her mind drifts away to slumber.
-Episode 4: Reflections/Pursuit-
[30 BBY - Jedi Temple, Coruscant]
F was sitting alone in the middle of the temple's beautiful garden of exotic flowers and trees, curled up into a ball with her head buried in her knees and arms. She hiccups, holding back her emotions from growing out of control, even when her throat is burning. The splatter of blood on her cheek has dried, unable to come off despite her efforts. A cloud of fear hangs over young F, fearing what she did and its consequences. She has only just begun to understand what this power within her even is, only to slip up and run away. F wipes her eyes, lost in what to do next, when a giggle reaches her ear.
Worried, F looks around to realize it's coming from the other side of a row of bushes. Curiosity pulled her to peek through to see one level below was a girl a year older than her sitting beside a tree. She had umber brown skin with red undertones and was wearing lavender grey dyed initiate robes. F saw her smile while levitating a slice of fruit and feeding it to a family of animals on the pond. F felt she had seen her before, noticing her long white hair and bright red eyes. A sudden prick from a thorn on her arm causes F to jump in pain before losing her footing and falling over the ledge.
F screams, shutting her eyes and preparing for impact to the ground, but nothing happens. She opens her eyes to see she's hovering an inch above the marble, levitated by the girl using the Force. Both F and the girl stared in surprise at each other. The fellow initiate suddenly begins giggling again, "How'd you fall over so quickly? You always lose yourself so easily?" she says.
F was eased to the floor, backing herself to the wall and rubbing her wound. 'She says that as if she knows me…yeah right,' she thinks, griping over the prickle of blood-stained on her sleeve. F huffs, trying to walk away, but the girl suddenly steps in front of her. "You're welcome," she says in a deeper, mocking tone, "are simple thanks really too much to ask, newcomer?"
F blinks in surprise when the girl gives a knowing look, "Yeah, you're in one of my classes. I've felt your presence ever since you got here," she says more quietly, tapping her chin while sensing F's emotions, "I see this new life is still hard for you."
"And what do you know?" F talks back, turning her back on her.
"That you're from a world once lost by the Jedi," the girl states, causing F to freeze as a chill runs through her. "At least that's what the masters theorized when I eavesdropped on them," the girl says with a sly smile, "though the other students talk differently about you. Some said they saw who you were when you first got here, your hair messy while acting like some animal."
"They're all liars! I'm not some freak!" F shouts out, causing scaring the animals and causing the marble to crack, but the girl is unstartled. F felt her gaze, felt no fear or judgment. However, F did fear for her safety, that her power would do something out of her control and end up hurting both. The thought terrified F, who solemnly requested, "just…leave me alone."
The girl was momentarily quiet as if she was analyzing her until she asked, "why?" She walks around F before pointing at her, "because last I remember, you're the one supposed to be in class." The girl then stops her playfulness when spotting the dried blood and F's dry red eyes from crying. "Is that your blood?" She asks.
F feels her throat burning again while shaking her head. "I-I…it was an accident," she says, more toward herself than the girl, "I closed my eyes, focused my mind, and did what everyone else was doing until…." F stops, covering her face with tears leaking between her fingers.
F winces when she feels cloth on her hand, backing off to see the girl holding up a handkerchief, "hold still, let me help." F hesitates but then allows her to clean off the bloodstain. "So what happened next?" she gently asks.
"I…" F pauses but continues, "I saw something scary and screamed."
"Were you levitating those small training stones?" F nods, and the girl says, "I'm guessing one then struck someone bad enough to draw blood. Watching what you have done, you ran, didn't you?"
Once the girl wipes the last of the blood away, F falls to the floor, both her hands gripping her hair, "They hate me now…. they're gonna leave me behind," she mumbles in distress.
"Even the man who found you?" the girl questions, to which F stays silent. She kneels to F's eye level and says, "I think you're just scared of being alone again."
"I'm used to it," F mumbles with a hollow look in her eyes.
"Then leave," the girl says so suddenly and casually that F nearly jumps. F gazes at her as she continues, "if you don't think this place will give you the answers you want, then face that path alone and never look back." She turns away, staring at the city field ahead, "that's what I tried to do once. Do you think you're strong enough to do the same?" she asks.
F ponders while memories of freezing, cold nights return to her. She shakes her head no with a distant, haunted stare.
"Then don't keep isolating yourself," the girl accentuates, "that will close you off from your true potential. Face this problem before it gets worse, and do it with a vow to control your destiny better, that this isn't the end yet."
F sighs, "and what potential do I have?"
"That's for you to figure out, but it doesn't have to be done alone," she says, offering her hand. "We'll all face destiny eventually. For me…I know what mine is."
F stares at her hand, asking, "what is it?"
With a confident smile, she says, "that's a secret. The more interesting question is, what will yours be?"
F mind goes back to her earlier option of leaving the order. She imagines most wouldn't care if she did, remembering her only as a random stray who wandered here. However, when she thinks of Hitoshi, F feels she would fail him and betray her promise by leaving. F confesses, "I don't know, but…I want Hitoshi to be there to help."
"Then we'll go find him together; I'm sure things will be okay," she says, taking F's hand and pulling her up, "I'm Sagiso, and you?"
"I don't have one," F mumbles, "or maybe I did. I don't remember."
Sagiso taps her chin before saying, "Well, that's fine for now. If we ever meet again, you better have found a name for yourself."
F didn't know how to respond to Sagiso's words. 'Meet again? She's lying, just saying that…' she tells herself, despite sensing no ill will from Sagiso's words. F is taken out of her thoughts by Sagiso dashing back inside the temple, dragging F with her. She's barely able to keep up with the eccentric girl.
"Let's not keep them waiting!" Sagiso said, the shadows cast in the stone entrance from that bright, orange afternoon consuming F's vision.
/-/-/-/-/-/
F is woken up by her ship's blaring alarms, warning of something coming her way. F senses three pilots coming at high speeds, visually unable to see them through the thick nebula and activating her ship's shields. Aside from the ship's computer noise, it was tensely silent as F kept scanning at all angles where her pursuers may be. She steadies her breathing, stretching out her feelings for any sort of life around her. Her eyes jolt open in shock at sensing multiple presences above. She reactively makes a hard right, rolling her ship and dodging a hail of green lasers above. She increases speed while turning her ship's nose upwards, looking back in time to see two fighters already on her tail.
'I thought I sensed three,' F wonders before diverting all shield energy to the ship's rear. A sudden rumble from the ship alerts F that they have begun firing. 'It's no different from other times,' she thinks, gripping the steering controls and planning an old maneuver. F spins to dodge their fire, pulling hard on the flight stick as she climbs steeply into a half loop. She steers the ship right while flying up, resulting in her craft being inverted and aimed outside the vertical loop plane. She senses uncertainty from her foes at where she precisely is.
"You're mine," she whispers, making a hard left while her ship performs an aileron spin, rolling her craft to get behind the enemy. Pulling upward, she ends back where the loop began, with both fighters now within sight. Her computer locks on, and she fires. Blue plasma shimmers from her guns, and an explosion erupts from where one of the ships used to be. F steadies her aim and fires again, watching as a fire combusts from the enemy's engine, growing in the next second before completely consuming the ship.
F lips quiver from feeling the pilot's fiery death. While the other's was near-instantaneous, her slight misfire resulted in unnecessary cruelty. A part of her wants to justify this, but she couldn't forget her master's crucial lesson: That even in the darkest times, divulging to their level is never justified. F turns the ship around with still no sight of the last pilot. 'I already fought long enough. They likely already signaled for reinforcements,' she reasons, flying her ship away and scanning the navigation to make a quick hyperjump.
F is interrupted when the last fighter appears from the clouds in full pursuit of her. She thrusts forward her flight stick to gain speed while the fighter continues its barrage of fire. F shifted all power to rear shields as this chase through the nebula intensified, her pursuer's attacks not letting up. F spots a particular dense group of clouds and speeds toward their direction. Once entering, F sees her aiming, and the navigation system starts to fizzle due to the high-intensity ionized plasma and gases. F knows her pursuer is experiencing the same malfunctions, but she has another way of navigating her surroundings, even while blind.
Her stare intensifies, concentrating through the Force to locate her pursuer and attack from behind. F feels a presence and readies her laser cannons, waiting diligently as she tries not to lose them before catching an outline ahead. Her canons fire, blasting away the object in front of her. Hot debris flies past F's ship, relieving her until green lasers fire ahead. F rolled out of the fighter's way, though the blasters hit her left wing. "Still alive?! But I-" F gasps before realizing what she shot was an asteroid. "Did the pilot use that as cover, knowing I was relying on the Force?" she questions before sensing the fighter turning back around.
Forced to run, F continues to dodge her pursuer's attacks. Even when it felt like they were blind firing, she saw their shots were still precise and deadly. An alarm blares from her ship, alerting her of continuing damage to her systems if she stays in the dense clouds longer. F is pushed back into her seat as she engages her thrusters. Soon, both fly out of the nebula to space, with F trying to think of a way to shake off her pursuer. Her heart stops when her ship violently shakes. F glances right to see an engine hit. Anger rises in F, remembering the sacrifice it took to attain her craft.
F feels them catching up while loading her proton torpedo; she then hovers her hand over the main power switch. Sweat drips down her brow as she feels her ship sustain another hit, "if I can't shake this pilot off me, then I'll use thier speed against them!" She pulls on the lever, causing her ship's engines to come to a dead stop immediately. Despite the severe whiplash, F doesn't lose focus on her target as the ship zips by, narrowly dodging her. F blind fires her torpedo at the fighter, watching as the torpedo locks on and explodes next to the fighter.
A great weight is lifted off her shoulders. F reactivates the engines and gets a closer look. The enemy fighter's wings were clipped, and the engines were more than destroyed, effectively leaving them dead in the water. F has sights on it, but sensing the life still inside stops her from pulling the trigger. "stop it…just leave already," she tells herself. Suddenly, her senses warn of an even greater danger approaching. When F looked right, an intimidatingly massive grey imperial cruiser appeared out of hyperspace, its numerous guns already aimed at her. F's irises quiver from the powerful presence of this ship. This grey, cold hand of the new Empire set on capturing its latest victim and snuffing out one of the last lights off in the galaxy.
"No!" F shouts in defiance, directing all remaining shield energy to the rear before flying off. Despite its massive size, the cruiser was more than capable of keeping pace with a starfighter. Powerful plasma bolts explode beside F, who can barely dodge in time. She prepares her hyperdrive and has the computer scan for any place to jump to, so long it gets her away from the Empire. The situation grows dire when F's sensors alert her of starfighters incoming.
"Come on, find anything!" she hisses through her teeth when her navigation lights up green. Without looking, she accepts the coordinates and sees' the planet is behind her, with the imperial cruiser blocking the path. Sensing the enemy starfighters closing in, F was left with only one exit, "alright, bring it," she said with fierce resolve and turned the ship around.
With enemy starfighters still on her tail, F squints her eyes and steadily aims her ship. F resolve isn't cracked amidst the hail of fire, and she begins prepping her jump to hyperspace. Stretching out her senses to the incoming cruiser, she felt fear rise from the command center, now realizing her jump would be so close to them that the force of it would crack open the command deck like an egg. F saw them steering away from her trajectory and took her chance, thrusting the main lever and entering hyperspace instantly.
/-/-/-/-/
Many in the command center have collapsed to the floor inside, thier computer screens scrambling to turn back on. Though they avoided critical damage, a close hyperspace jump caused the cruiser's systems to shortcircuit. Gripping onto the railing, the ship's captain stood his ground and sighed angrily, "the Jedi continues to be elusive, should've figured that back at Aradia."
"Commander Montar," a personnel signals, "once our computers are back online, they'll analyze where the Jedi could've-"
"I don't want 'could've' or 'maybe's,'" Montar reminds everyone when a loud beep rings across the deck.
"Commander, you are being requested by High Command," another personnel informs.
Montar should've figured, even back in the republic. They request him when he's busy with something more substantial. 'Well, at least with this new command, we'll be getting real work done,' he tells himself and walks out.
"So be it then," Montar says, "have all personnel prep for new orders. I want an assessment of all damage taken and the recovery of any pilot still alive." Once he leaves the busy deck, his new officer approaches.
"What about the Jedi?" she asks.
"I have a special team formed just for this situation, officer," he reminds her, looking out a port window to see the damaged fighter being retrieved. "If they could find the Jedi faster than any blasted computer, they could surely do it again," he finishes.
"I'm sure they will, sir. It's just…where did you find them?"
Montar doesn't look at her as he states, "it's a secret, officer, you know that. I also hope you remember to stay true to your word and keep my operations with them strictly confidential until we capture this Jedi. Understood."
"O-of course, Commander."
"Excellent, keep up the good work, officer," he smiles, walking away to receive his new orders.
/-/-/-/-/
F's hands tried in vain to steady the shaking flight controls. The sudden jump was causing much strain on the ship, and now her computer was warning that she'll come out of hyperspace dangerously close to a planet's atmosphere. "Steady now. Focus on what can be done," she tells herself, preparing to slow down the ship once out of the jump. The blue tunnel vanishes in a flash, and her ship immediately begins hiring towards a green and blue planet. Still, F keeps her nerves in check and cuts off all engine power, pulling the controls back as hard as possible to prevent the ship from burning up.
The cockpit glows orange from the outside flames. F glances at the gauge to see if she's still going too fast. Down to her last tool, she stretches out her hand and uses all her Force energy to help slow down the ship. Entering the planet's clouds, F strains to hold the ship together and from burning up. Despite the sharp pain, it worked, and the speed gauge fell faster. "J-just a little…" she gasps until her computer lights up, signaling complete control is back. She slumps forward, gasping for breath while turning up the nose of the ship.
She exits the clouds and descends towards a vast landscape of trees. F tried not to lose ship control while colliding into the dense forest, her wings cutting through the trees she hit until coming to an open swampland. She braces herself, feeling the ship crash across the muddy waters before finally coming to a dead stop.
Her heartbeat drums against her ears as F lay there for several minutes, savoring the silence and peace that was becoming rarer with each passing day. Her limbs her deathly tired, and her mind was clouded. Sleep sounded like a welcoming prospect, and F nearly closed her eyes only to be stopped by a blare from the ship. She groans in frustration and forces herself to move, 'you need to move; there's no time to rest,' she thinks while exiting the ship.
F assesses the damage, patting the ship's nose upon seeing it's not hurt too bad. Looking around at the small swampland, she finds a mellow aura with little sign of predators. She turns her gaze to the sky, the warm orange and purple hues signaling nighttime is approaching. Stars begin to sparkle; F raises her hand and squints with one eye open. "Let's see…" she whispers, "that's Janarus Star, so I'm still in the core worlds. I don't see Alderaan's star. Either I'm not any closer to Alderaan, or its famous brightness was highly exaggerated."
The ship creeks against the water when F jumps back in her seat, activating her navigation records. "What can you tell me?" she mumbles, pulling up grid coordinates to see it's K-9. "K-9, what's in K-9…? The Ragoon system, I think," she recalls. Whatever planet this was, F was glad she didn't steer too far off course, delighted to be still alive. F instinctively grabs the controls to take off, but she is reminded of the people hunting for her by looking at the stars. The same people found and nearly killed her even when she took the safest precautions.
Her fingers quiver when she lets go and stands up from her seat, stating, "perhaps one night wouldn't hurt. I'll decide what to do next in the morning," Reasoning that staying low on a distant planet was the safest way to keep out of sight. Besides, after several days of near-constant flying, she needed to stretch her body. She lands in a giant lily pad with a quick leap, apparently strong enough to carry her weight. She hops from one to another before reaching shore, facing the edge of the dense forest.
A glow from the water draws her attention, watching hundreds of small aquatic creatures glow soft blue, illuminating the swamp. Here, F realized how strong with the Force this place was. The abundance of life and the balance of nature brought harmony she hadn't felt in a long time. It was almost funny how the planet's atmosphere nearly killed her moments ago. Now here she was, sitting by the water bed, bringing a serene peace she dearly needed. She closes her eyes and lies down, letting the sounds of nature and the cool air soothe her mind.
F lost track of time resting by the water, whether it was subconsciously connecting with the Force or simply the fatigue getting to her. She couldn't exactly tell. A flash of thunder is heard during her rest, and soon rain begins to fall. A thick branch above saves F from getting drenched, allowing her to appreciate the rain and running water. Somehow, it reminded her of the Force or how she has always perceived it. "Like an endless river branching off and flowing through the land…" she whispers the first words she used describing it.
A peck on her mask causes F to open her eyes to a small, two-headed bird with four wings standing on her. "Don't worry, I come in peace," she yawns upon sitting up. The bird or birds, she guesses, then fly to their nest. Standing up and facing the ship, she stretches her arms out and lifts the vessel. Usually, she has great trouble lifting it, but the life here has fueled her connection with the Force.
F recalls a lesson from Master Hitoshi, "So long as you live in tranquility with nature, its energy will flow through you like water."
Those words pushed her to lift the ship entirely off the water, slowly but surely pulling it back to land even when her arms began to strain. Feeling that the ship is close enough, F lets go and nearly trips from exhaustion. After catching her breath, she leaps up to a nearby tree and jumps to a nearby branch, repeating the process till she is deep into the forest. Just as she sensed, the immediate area was safe from predators or anything that might disturb her. Ever the cautious type, F decides to stay on the high treeline and sleep there for the night.
"You would've loved it here, Sagiso," she whispers longingly as sleep takes her once more.
/-/-/-/-/-/
The full moon glowed brightly outside the temple windows, with the evening air bringing a cool breeze inside. The wind gently bellowed into the training room F was sitting in. She was in the presence of her class teacher and Hitoshi. Both observed and analyzed F as she displayed her self-control and alignment with the Force by levitating several small rocks around her. F focused only on her lesson, not wishing to repeat her earlier mistakes.
"Enough," her teacher says, and F carefully lowers the rocks this time. She opens her eyes, worryingly looking at the two masters while feeling like the two were speaking to each other through the Force. F winces when her teacher brushes thier fingers over the bandaged wound they've received on thier head, something F has apologized for upon finding the courage to approach them.
"You show great form," her teacher assesses. "In your point of view, what happened earlier?"
"They told me they were scared," Hitoshi informs the teacher of F's earlier explanation.
"I see, so what frightened you so suddenly, young one?" her teacher asks calmly.
"I…I don't feel like talking about it now," F mumbles, lowering her head.
Her teacher nods, "I understand, but as the teacher to you and all your classmates, I wish nothing more than to help you in any way I can. And I can't do that sometimes if I don't know what ills you."
F looks to Hitoshi for help, who nods in silent encouragement. F nervously swallows, muttering, "I-I thought I saw a monster."
"While deep in meditation?" her teacher asks.
"Yes."
"What kind of monster? Was it one you read from our records?"
"No, it was different," F says with tangible fear.
"How?"
"It never stops whispering in my head," F told them unnervingly.
Her teacher leans back, placing their fist over their lips, thinking of the implications of such a description. They glance again at Hitoshi and pull out their notes to write something. F feels a bit of regret saying it after this. "Thank you for sharing," her teacher says, "you may leave with Hitoshi now."
"Come along," he says, extending his hand. F clings to his arm and walks out with him.
"Young one," her teacher calls out, "you're always welcome in class. Remember that."
F nods and follows Hitoshi. Her hand tightly around Hitoshi's dark fingers, F peeks up and past Hitoshi's bushy, black beard to see his brown eyes were calm as if he knew she would return and pass the lesson.
Even though it was nighttime, several Jedi and droids still roamed the tall halls of the temple, showing that the duty of the Jedi never sleeps. Quietly walking, F thinks about her teacher's words. "Is it weird to be that nice?" F asks.
"Too little ones like you? No, I don't think so," Hitoshi answers with a warm smile.
A few weeks ago, F never knew such kindness existed, and Hitoshi was the first to show her that. When her mind returned to the day he saved her, tears began forming in her eyes. She buries her face in his brown sleeve, "I'm sorry for thinking you'll leave me," she murmurs.
"Don't be," he whispers, kneeling to her eye level, "this is a large galaxy you've entered, little one. I was also frightened by the magnitude of starting a new life a long time ago." She nods while letting go, quickly brushing the tears away not to look weak. "You've shown great promise, as I knew you would, and I'm proud you've faced your fears," he finishes.
"I…I couldn't have done it without Sagiso," F mumbles nervously.
"You mean her?" Hitoshi asks. F turns around to see they're at the great library, and sitting not too far away is Sagiso reading with a pile of books beside her. "A unique one she is, just like you," he tells her.
"I guess," F shrugs. She stares at Sagiso until they leave for the crèche, the Jedi youngling's living chambers. After passing through the masked Jedi guarding the chambers, Hitoshi opens the door to F's room, separate from the others.
Before setting her off to bed, he says, "Little one, you know I'll always support your potential, but I'm also not going to be there always to help. Take today as a lesson towards finding balance through your own decisions. Forgiving yourself for your actions is the first step to fixing the matter at hand. Seeking help from others is the next."
F nods, silently wanting to move on and forget today. Still, a worry popped into her today, so she asked, "Hitoshi...what if I don't become your padawan?"
Hitoshi gives a warm smile, "That's for the will of the Force to decide one day, but know that I would be honored to be your teacher. Today you still have a way to get acquainted with the other children and the fun that entails. Enjoy these precious years, don't be in such a hurry to grow up."
F hesitates but eventually nods, her mind soon going to Sagiso and her words.
Hitoshi finishes by saying, "the Force binds us all together, and no barrier can get in the way of forming a connection with others."
"Okay..." F says. Hitoshi pats her on the head before leaving her alone.
F lies restless in bed that night, 'too soft,' she thinks, feeling it's still impossible. Curled in with a blanket, F lays on the hard floor, closing her eyes and hoping the whispers won't disturb her too much tonight.
A/N: Sorry for the wait for this one, and I expect some changes/fixes to occur once I reach my beta, Kamen Rider Raika.
Fun Fact! - Hitoshi's design, specifically his beard, is based on the Ainu people's features. I love how his homeworld is based on Japanese mountain culture and is darker skin than pale, so I thought of including another culture from the Japanese Islands.
This one was tough to start due to my writer's block over the past two months and taking a holiday break. However, I hope you all enjoyed it. I wanted to tap into SW's roots, write out a dogfight scene (partially helped by watching Dunkirk), and hint at the history behind F's darkness and how she joined the order. Thankfully, the more I wrote this out, the more comfortable I got with the story decision. I also decided to add a character to F's backstory, which I hope you all found interesting. She's been an idea in my head for a while now.
I hope you all have a nice weekend!