Chapter 47: Deathwish

There was something lurking at the very edge of her mind. A pair of iced sapphire eyes watching from the dark void. Inviting, drawing her closer, soothing away her worries, awakening deliciously dark parts of her. The presence pulled her back from the depths of her own mind back to the surface, for air. Olivia opened her heavy eyes, trying to make out shapes in the dark. She wasn't in her bed. Her bed sheets weren't silk, her pillows were this firm, her bedroom wasn't this grand and vast. Her bed also never had anyone in it, unlike right now.

Eric laid right beside her, his head resting on the pillow next to her. It was those eyes who dragged her out of sleep. His blond hair was messy, and his figure was still striking, laying so still and so close to her. He still wore that light green cardigan that showed his defined chest and shoulder muscles. Like a reflex, she yearned for his touch, to feel the edge of his sharp jaw and the serene coldness of his skin, hoping this was a dream and the two could just be still and quiet for a while. But it wasn't. It was real. He hadn't been next to her when she fell asleep, and she wondered when he had slipped in bed with her, and how he had gotten so close without her noticing it.

"What are you doing in my bed?" She asked, pulling the sheets over herself for some reason. As if the thin silk would shield her from those eyes. Nothing ever would.

"You are in my bed," his low raspy voice melted her a bit.

She looked around, studying the room again. "What? This isn't the guest room?"

Liv had rested easy in here under that assumption. Now that her eyes had adjusted some, she could tell the thick velvet curtains on the rotunda in the corner of the room were still open, letting some moonlight in. The room was beautiful, with floor to ceiling windows, dark painted walls, and glamorous oversized furniture that still left plenty of room. But it also was very… Tidy and empty. There were no trinkets, photos, plants, or clutter of any kind. It was like a luxury hotel room, not someone's personal quarters. How could a vampire this old have no personal belongings? She thought she didn't have any personal items as per rule number 9, but this was a whole other level.

"Guest room?" He repeated, and she could hear the smile in his voice. "No Olivia, I don't have a guest bedroom. And I also don't have the kind of guest that would need one."

Wait a minute - Eric lived in a house this fucking big and there were only two bedrooms?! This was assuming he didn't share a bed with Pamela. Oh God, did he share a bed with Pamela?! She had to get out of here-

"God, what time is it?"

"Almost five."

"Oh," she propped herself on her elbows. "I guess I should get going then."

The sun would be rising in less than an hour, and it would be his turn to use the bed. He had done more than enough tonight, and she did not want to impose. That and… It was far too tempting sharing a bed with someone who looked like this, and made her feel… You know.

She was struggling to fight off the exhaustion, but she could nap later. If she stayed, there would be no more sleeping. Not with the way those eyes looked at her.

Eric's hand reached for her face, caressing her cheek. "Stay," he whispered. "Please."

Please.

Feeling like her bones were made of water, she slowly lay back down as if he had made an extremely good argument. She surrendered into the pool of luxurious silk and expensive feather pillows. His fingers traced a careful line from her temple to her jaw. His touch felt luxurious too. Now that her eyes were slightly accustomed to the darkness, she could see the outline of his face. His strong jaw, perfectly kissable lips, and ocean eyes that watched her relentlessly. Eric was incredibly beautiful.

"There's something we have to talk about," he whispered softly, a strange hint of sadness in his voice. "It can't wait. I'm out of time."

A vampire out of time? "What is it?"

"Earlier when I said I didn't want to play games with you anymore," his eyes left her. His eyes never left her without a good reason. "Please know I did mean it."

There was something wrong. She remembered a time, not all that long ago, where all she wanted was for Eric to be truthful with her. Now she shuddered, scared of hearing any more truths. When you make a life out of lying, there is only so much truth you can handle at once.

"Okay?"

There was a heavy pause. His body shifted closer. "Now that Bill Compton knows what you are, and with Chow gone, he will come… Collect you."

She felt a shiver run up her spine and explode in coldness all throughout her body and it had nothing to do with his hard torso now pressing the side of her body. She imagined herself locked inside one of those glass cases, and her mind still couldn't grasp how someone could treat her as a collectible. Even in her worst nightmares, monsters would use and exploit her. But treat her as a literal showpiece for others to gawk at - gawk at the very thing she had hidden all her life. Now that would have to be her own personalized circle of hell.

Olivia had replayed the Compton Estate visit 20 at least times over before she realized how the whole meeting had been a setup. Bill Compton had staff, they were all hidden out of sight in the lower levels, away from… Her mind. Bill knew what she was before she even stepped foot in that place.

"What does he want with me?" She whispered in the dark. Eric's eyes returned to hers, full of anguish. He did not want to tell her. What could be so monstrous that not even Eric Northman dared say? "Eric, you are scaring me-"

"He gave Pamela three million dollars as a finder's fee. You can make a guess as to what he wants to do with you for that kind of money."

Olivia's heart ran away, racing painfully in her chest. She had asked Pamela hours earlier (which now seemed like years ago) what the price for her was. Three million dollars. What didn't Bill Compton want to do with her for that price might be a shorter fucking list.

It was settled then. She would be on the first fucking bus out of here-

"If you run he will find you," Eric interrupted her panicked thoughts, his hand was very much still resting on the edges of her face. "That's what he does. He's a procurer, an extremely skilled tracker. The only place you might have a shot at being safe is deep up north. But you will also risk him finding the rest of you."

"Rest of who? What the hell are you talking about?" Olivia's whole body stiffened, sitting up on the bed.

Her father was from a small village up in Newfoundland's Northwest coast. Olivia and her dad had visited their extended family many times when she was a kid, taking a road trip up to Maine, across the Canadian Maritimes, and then hopping onto the overnight ferry to the island. Her grandmother and uncle Jesse had been telepaths too, but both were deceased. She had two older cousins, uncle Jesse's kids, who were telepaths as well. But she hadn't seen them since she was 12 or 13, and she had no idea if they still lived there, or if the village even existed. If she went hiding there, she couldn't risk Bill Compton finding them too. So she would have to hide elsewhere… But who else would she risk?

And more importantly - how the hell did Eric know all of this?

"Fairies, Olivia," he said as if it were obvious. "After the portals closed three centuries ago your kind hid from vampires up in the Arctic, blending with the native people who were skilled vampire hunters."

Her brows creased and she blinked several times, trying to absorb this absolutely insane fucking sentence. Not even Tolkien could have come up with such a fantastic tale. Fairies? Portals? Native vampire hunters? What the actual fuck?

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"Olivia…" Eric frowned with concern, sitting up next to her. "What do you think you are?"

"A telepath," she said, and immediately gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. She rested her arms on her knees, staring at the beautiful plaster medallion on the ceiling. She expected tears, but they didn't come. She expected guilt and shame for breaking the vow she promised her parents, but it didn't flourish. She expected the world to end, but it kept on moving. What she didn't expect was the overwhelming relief and lightness she felt right now. "I never said it out loud before."

Eric put a hand on the bed right behind her, leaning against her shoulder. He smirked down at her, a mix of peace and pride on his face. "You are so much more than a telepath."

He caressed her hair gently, almost swaying her back to sleep. It was easy to get lost in him. She had to concentrate. "Wait - you're serious about the fairy thing?"

"Were you adopted or something?" His brows creased. "Your parents never told you where your powers came from?"

"Sure my dad told me fairy tales when I was younger but they're not real, they're just children's stories."

He raised an eyebrow. "Just like vampires and werewolves are children's stories?"

Right. Olivia tried to remember the bedtime stories her dad told her as a kid. Faint memories of beautiful gardens, fairy princes in faraway lands, beyond magical portals came to mind. Nothing about vampires though. The heads-up would have been nice. Her brain simply could not process what he was telling her. Fairies?! She was a fairy? What did that even mean? Suddenly she was very tired again.

Something shifted in Eric. "There's something about fairy blood that is extremely alluring to vampires. And the only way I can possibly keep you from the Collector, Olivia," he whispered in her ear, nudging her hair with his forehead. His tone was an apologetic one.

Her brows knitted and the muscles of her jaw tightened. She knew exactly what he was saying because he had insinuated this many times over now. The anger she was very familiar with came back at once. "You cannot be serious right now-"

She glared at his beautiful pale face, and she could see the tips of his fangs when he spoke next. He wanted her fucking blood. "I'm left with no choice. I am out of time."

Her body stiffened and all the warmth left her at once. The whole night flashed across her eyes. Just when she thought her world couldn't be more destroyed, Eric had obliterated it into dust.

"Well isn't this all so convenient for you, Eric!" Her temper had turned into acid. "Your vampire daughter takes me to the one person who can hurt me on the same night Chow dies, and now the only choice you have is to take me? What about my choice?!"

Before he could make a move, Olivia rolled away from his grasp and left the bed. She wanted to put as much distance between them as possible, and a rocket out of Earth wouldn't take her far enough right now.

"I swear to you Olivia, this is not how I wanted it to happen-" he followed her out of bed, cornering her in the rotunda. She stood flanked between the monster and the chaise he so tenderly had taken care of her. Eric even sounded sincere, but he had lied to her so many times, how could she know?

"I don't fucking believe you-"

"I am not lying to you! I told you, this is not a game anymore-"

Her mind was racing a million furious thoughts, spiraling out of control. "You son of a bitch!" She yelled. "Is this why you brought me here? Because I can rescind your invitation here too. Have fun sleeping in Fangtasia's basement, and-" she stopped.

It hit her right in the face just then. Olivia had transferred the title of Eric's house to her own name months ago, shortly after he had bought the apartment building she lived in. But other than Chow and Pam, not once had Eric asked Olivia to invite anyone else inside. She just had assumed he conducted all his business and vampiric pleasures out of the club, but the man Pamela and Eric tortured and killed in the kitchen weeks ago had been a vampire. A vampire neither of them had the power to invite inside, unless…

"I don't own this house anymore, do I?"

All his tenderness and kindness had been fake? He does not have the heart you think he does. No, Eric Northman had no heart at all.

Eric had gone very still in the darkness. "Not for a while, but you have to believe me, none of this is what you think, Olivia-"

"So all the kindness you showed me tonight wasn't a ploy to get me here?! Asleep and vulnerable in a house I cannot banish you from?"

"What I have shown you tonight has been nothing but the truth for once," he spoke clearly and fiercely. "The house has nothing to do with it. I didn't want any of this to happen, Olivia. I didn't want Pamela to betray me, I didn't want to lose my best friend, I didn't want to…"

He then did something completely unexpected, something Liv had seen him do only to his Maker. Eric kneeled at her feet. The thousand year old vampire Viking got down on his knees, making her the tall tower from above. The shock made her sharply inhale.

"I wanted to earn you," his voice barely escaped him. "God, I wanted to become worthy of you. This is not a game for me anymore, Olivia. I swear I am not trying to deceive you, I am just begging you…" His voice trailed off.

Earn me, she had asked him. His fingers curled around the back of her thighs, his forehead burrowed itself softly against her stomach. He was begging her- for her.

Eric spoke again, with passion. "I will loathe myself until my very last night on earth if I have to hurt you, but I know I can't lose you again, Olivia. I just can't. Chow was at least a good man and it had been your choice, I could make my peace with that. But Bill Compton… I cannot let him use you. I rather hate myself for forcing you to be mine than live knowing he is harming you and I cannot stop it."

Her heart skipped a beat. Then another one.

"If you really feel this way, why not just take what you want? You took everything else already."

"You are right, I did come here ready to take you in your sleep," Eric confessed. Seeing him on his knees was still a surreal sight which made her question if this wasn't really a dream. "I told myself that having you hate me is better than not having you at all. But turns out I can't have you hate me either. So I don't know what to do. A thousand years on this Earth and how I feel about you have left me lost."

The fucked part was that she believed him. All of it. He could have bitten her in her sleep. He had a thousand chances to have taken her blood by force. Even now, when Eric saw no other choice, he still begged for her. Taking a single drop of blood from her without her approval hurt him deeply, in a way the edict of protection never would. She knew this in her heart. This truth, however, wasn't a painful one. It didn't damage her or hurt her. It felt like laying the first stone to build herself back up again. Her mind went very still. She breathed fully for the first time since she woke up.

"Okay," she whispered in the dark. "On one condition."

There was a long pause. Olivia knew she wasn't in a particular position to bargain here, especially when Eric had been so truly honest, kind, and vulnerable. And he was for all intents and purposes saving her from a monster she could not outsmart, outbid, outfight or outrun. But she could not give up her freedom. She would not stand down so easily. Olivia refused to be shackled to this job forever or to be fucking collected. She was not Eric - she would fight her way out of this place even if it meant killing every vampire in fucking Louisiana with a dull store-bought wooden stake.

"What is it?"

"Once I choose to retire, you will find a way to let me go."

He paused for a fleeting moment then stood up, holding her shoulders still. She was thankful for it because her knees were doing a really bad job at holding her up. "I'll deal with the consequences of your theoretical demise."

Olivia had to suppress a smile. Eric would help her fake her own death, even if it meant risking punishment from his Queen. Her heart was suddenly brimming with an unusual feeling, one she didn't even recognize. It was warm and intoxicating.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise," he dipped his chin closer. "I'll let you go."

After a long pause, she nodded.

One of his arms slid around her waist while the other cradled her neck gently. He pulled her firmly against him, pressing her into the tight and hungry embrace she grew to crave. She was expecting a sharp bite straight to her neck, but what she received instead was a deep kiss. Pleasure, instead of pain. She lost her breath, not her blood. His lips parted hers, kissing her as if it were everything he wanted all along. There was a hunger, a desperation in his clutch that told her he longed for her lips as much as he did her blood.

It was impossible to not get lost in it. The silence of the night was absolute. All she could hear was her own heartbeat rattling inside her ribcage. His higher hand moved from her neck to the back of her hair, grabbing a fistful of it. His kisses traveled down her neck, and he inhaled deeply, taking all of her in. The sharpness of his fangs scraped against her skin giving her goosebumps all over. A jolt went through her body when he pierced it with his bite. The sudden pain only lasted a single heartbeat.

The aftershock felt like being dipped in liquid heat. Eric's arms squeezed her, and she could swear he shuddered as he suckled on her trickling warm blood. He slowly collapsed, sinking down to his knees again. Eric leaned back against the side of the chaise bringing her down gently with him. Her legs naturally parted, straddling his hips where she could feel the hardness of him between her legs. Parts of her grew hungry for him.

This had been a very different bite from Sophie-Anne's. Hers had started with a tender passion that turned violent and uncontrolled. While Eric had just… Surrendered to her. He moaned deeply and softly, drinking her. Olivia was getting lulled by the heat her entire body felt. How a creature this cold could elicit such a reaction she didn't understand. His lips parted her skin without warning. He leaned his head back against the bed, eyes heavy and out of breath. Had he hated the taste of her too? It wasn't the expression he showed. Eric just seemed to be blissfully stunned. There were words at the tip of his bloodied tongue, she could tell. Historically it hadn't been a good sign whenever he held his words back.

"Eric?" Olivia was still breathless, her lips were swollen and her skin had been scorched by his ravenous kisses. Her hands rested on his chest feeling breathe.

After a moment he spoke, his voice was sexily hoarse. "I know we only might have a few years together at best, and I still intend on making good on that promise," his gaze snatched hers. Those blue eyes that she could see even in the dark. Even in her dreams. "But can I at least cherish you while I have you?"

Her heart tightened again. "Eric, you don't have to-"

"I know," he smirked. "But I want to."

She wanted to shake her head in disbelief. I care about you. A smile grew on her lips.

Cherish, huh? "I have expensive taste."

"Good," his luscious voice whispered back. "Then you'll like this."

He rose and twisted their bodies, laying her gently on the chase. Eric bit down on his hand, between his index and thumb and she felt butterflies in her stomach. It was time to finish their blood pact. Blood running down his large palm, he pressed it between her lips. His fingers curled around her jaw, and his thumb ever so delicately caressed her cheek. This too had been different from any other time Olivia had drank vampire blood. Her mouth filled with the metallic liquid, which tasted both sweet and tart and certainly nothing like she's ever had.

She felt it immediately - the bond between them. No words needed to be said to bind that contract. Eric was there as an extension of herself, not just another body in the dark with her. Her senses could reach him fully as if he were a shadow revealed to her by magic. It felt different - his signature, his imprint. There were no thoughts, no words exactly, but Olivia could feel him, and it felt… Euphoric. She drank eagerly, surrendering to him. Eric let out a breathy moan as Olivia drank more of him. She needed more, wanted more, wanted to drown in the feeling of him.

Her hands grasped his large hand, not letting go. Eric was kneeling between her legs, body arched over her, watching her drink herself into blissful oblivion.

"Take as much of me as you want," he whispered, "my Olivia."

A.N:

I have been DYING to post this chapter for WEEKS, I was about to faint just editing this!

uunnnngggggghhh

Yes - I gave you what you all wanted. No - it was not the way you probably expected. But Olivia is a practical person. The catch is... She can't lie so easily anymore. Not to him, not to herself. There is no running anymore.

As always, leave a comment below, see you sometime in mid-February! I'm taking a QUICK break to work on another very exciting project but I'll be back

xoxo