Chapter 57: Fast and Frightening

When she walked back across the restaurant floor, she was hyper-aware her panties were soaked through.

Before she exited the bathroom, Eric had licked the bloody mess he made on her skin, not letting one drop go wasted. Her dress was black, so the specks of red on her cleavage didn't show. Olivia just focused on regaining the strength of her legs, which felt like putty. Even now, her steps felt uncoordinated. Her hair was probably messy, her cheeks were flush, and her makeup was slightly smeared. But she was beyond caring at this point. Let them know. Let everyone in this fucking hotel know.

Eric had healed the bite, licked his fingers clean, and straightened his jacket. "I will be waiting outside. You have five minutes," he told her in no uncertain terms just moments ago.

It was the best way Eric found to tell Olivia to ditch her ex. Permanently.

Arriving at the table Olivia immediately reached for her purse hanging on her chair, Jamie stared at her in awe for a second. It made her heart skip a confused beat. She knew right then she had a choice to make, and even if it was the obvious one, she had to make sure. Like yielding a sharp sword, her mind plunged into Jamie's conscience just as she had done at the bottom of that abandoned pool. She dug into him as an enemy would. Without restraint or hesitation, she went as deep as she could, unearthing his deepest desires.

He really hoped she had reconsidered his offer while she was in the bathroom. He imagined taking her to his room upstairs and kissing her all over. Jamie imagined snuggling her in bed after sex and booking her a one-way flight ticket to New York. He imagined dropping her off at her mom's, and being the hero who brought her daughter home; being the man who rescued her from scary vampires and set her life back on the track it should have gone. Jamie would woo her with his successful firm and his fancy new condo. She would move in and they would get a dog. Hopefully, that would soften her a bit and she would change her mind about having babies. He would propose with a ring double the carats than the last time. Maybe on the anniversary of her father's death, so he would blanket that dark mournful day with his love and replace the bad memories with better ones. They would take engagement photos in Dumbo, and get married in Vermont when the leaves turn red in the fall. Their dog would wear a little bow tie, and her dress would be conservative but hug at the waist to show her curves. Jamie had not imagined but planned it all in his head.

And there was absolutely fucking nothing she wanted less. Olivia had her own plan, her own dreams, and she sure as hell didn't want to be the co-star of someone else's. While Jamie may think he loves her, he doesn't have a care in the world for what she wants. None at all. The whole thing made her fucking sick to her stomach, and it wasn't the food.

"I really have to go, Jamie," she opened her bag and wallet, and put down 200 dollars firmly on the table.

"What? Already? You didn't even finish your wine-"

She dismissed him entirely. "Good luck with everything."

"Olivia, stop it!" Jamie got up abruptly, making several restaurant guests glance and stare at them. It surprised her he was willing to make a scene. "No! I cannot let you throw it all away! You're too-"

"Too what, Jamie?" She leaned closer, a threatening tone in her voice and one he certainly never heard before.

She wondered if he could see where Eric had bitten her. Or if he could smell sex on her, or the wetness of her panties. God knows Jamie rarely made her cum at all.

Then he said it. The final words she needed to hear. "You're too lovely for a place like this."

She wanted to slap him in the face. She really did.

There was nothing fucking lovely about her at all. And if he thought that, then he didn't fucking know her. She had succeeded in that way. Her ex-fiance had never known who she really was, and he certainly wouldn't love her if he did. Jamie loved the idea of her, the potential of her. He came here because she never gave him closure, and Jamie didn't even know his own life was at risk in his sad little attempt to get it. But she was going to save him regardless. His blood was not going to be on her hands, at least not in a literal sense. But metaphorically, the only way to push him away was to make bloodshed.

"Lee Shultz," she said out of the blue. "Our old boss, when we worked together."

He frowned, confused. "What about him?"

"I did fuck him for that promotion," she lied. "And I fucked Rogers, Michael Evans, Karen Hill, Sebastian Byers and Pete Thompson. Everyone in the office knew about it too, and they all fucking pitied you. They thought you were weak and pathetic and I got bored of dating the pathetic joke of the office-"

"You're lying," he muttered, looking faint.

A heart breaking. What a strange sound. But she had to do it. It had to hurt. It had to shatter him and devastate him. The closure he needed was not the one he wanted.

He had already thought she slept for that promotion, she knew that the second their manager had announced it at the company retreat in Costa Rica. It had been the first time she'd ever read his mind, merely as a reflex, as an accident. She felt so betrayed by it that she went outside to get some air. Jaimie had been once a person she had loved, a person she respected and admired. She closed off her powers with him in a futile attempt of having a normal relationship. But when she stepped on that beach, she met Sophie-Anne, her first vampire, the first person she could be herself with.

Olivia deserved that, didn't she? To be real with someone?

"No, I am saving you," she looked him dead in the eye, feeling the hurt she was causing almost as if it were her own. "Now go home Jamie, and never try to find me again."

Swallowing the pit in her throat, she walked away with trembling hands. Olivia knew he did not deserve to be hurt like this. His only sin was to think he loved her. Liv didn't like hurting people, even less so the ones she once cared about. It was cruel that she made his worst nightmare come true, even if it was a lie. She dug up his worst fear, one he never even said out loud to a single soul and used it against him. Olivia knew how much Jamie cared about what his peers thought of him, but if he kept holding out a torch for her if he kept trying to save her… He would become another nuisance for Eric Northman. And people like Jamie Kennedy simply don't survive that.

Come to think of it, it wasn't at all surprising that Eric had found her here. She recognized Bobby Burham's car following her all the way to the Hotel. He probably took photos of Jamie's rental car's licence plate and sent the vampire Sherriff a full dossier on her ex by the time she had finished her food. She just hadn't expected for him to actually… Show up.

When she left the hotel lobby, Eric was waiting in his Jaguar parked directly in front of the front steps of the Manor turned Inn. It was still light out, and it was jarring seeing him in broad daylight. She didn't know if she'd ever get used to it. He had his front windows rolled down, elbow lazily resting on the door, watching the sun dip behind the horizon in complete peace. Eric was so fucking handsome it was almost absurd.

She hastily entered the car wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of here. Every bone in her body wanted the most distance humanly possible between her and the heart she shattered at the hotel restaurant. Eric picked up on her unusual mood with a quick glance, and suddenly her wish was her command. They drove off into the sunset, Eric driving at the speed limit this time, in complete silence. As the hotel became smaller and smaller in the side mirror, Olivia felt the tight grip on her heart slowly ease. It was over. But why didn't it feel like it? Eric watched her quietly as he drove but held back a thousand things he wanted to know. But she was feeling too guilty, too restless, too…

"Just fucking ask already."

"About?"

"About him."

"Do you still have feelings for him?" He asked point-blank.

"No," her answer came out as a reflex, but it was the truth and nothing but the truth.

"Oh. Then I don't care about him," he shrugged with a small grin. "But it's cute that you think I do."

"That's it?" She glared at him back. "You meet my ex-fiance and you of all people just have nothing to say? Really?"

Eric found her question amusing. "Well, I do find it a little inconceivable that that guy back there managed to propose to you, and got you to say yes."

For a man who tried so hard to make Olivia his, she could see how it would be hard to believe someone like Jamie had successfully proposed to her. She couldn't believe it herself, how she almost married someone so wrong for her.

"I was different then," she said finally.

"Different how?"

"I thought I could be…" She tried finding the words. Normal? Happy? Safe?

"Small," Eric finished the sentence for her.

The word hit her heavily, putting her in thoughtful silence. Eric was right. He was absolutely, completely and unequivocally right. She had to lie so much to be with him. Not just about her abilities, but about her clients, her finances, about how smart she really was, about the things she wanted, the things she dreamed of. Hell, she let him brag about fucking her to anyone who would listen just so he would feel manly.

"Yeah. Something like that…"

Eric shot her a deep look. "Why do you think you did that?"

Olivia shrugged. "I thought boosting his ego was the best way to make him happy. To make him feel loved."

He shook her head silently, but she knew he wasn't judging her. It was more of a look of disappointment for Jamie. Olivia realized then she would never have to be small for Eric. She could be herself, truly, secrets and all. He knew what she could do, she knew exactly where morals lied, and he promised to not stand in the way of her dreams. Eric was one of a kind.

"If that's what it takes to make him happy then he's dumber than he looks, which is actually quite impressive," the corner of his mouth curled upwards deviously in that sensual smirk only he could do.

She suppressed a laugh, still beaming at the fact that never again she would have to be small for anyone.

"But enough of that," she turned her chin, facing him. "Where the hell have you been?"

The million-dollar question he didn't seem so eager to answer. "Had some business to take care of. Why? Did you miss me?"

"No-"

"Well, you did cum rather quickly in the restaurant bathroom, so I think you did miss me a little bit."

She sighed, rolling her eyes again. But she could feel her cheeks get flush. Her panties still felt wet. "Oh, forget it."

"It's okay, you can admit it," his smile was to fucking die for.

But she never would. "I was too busy working to miss you. And I would still be working right now if it wasn't for Jamie showing up."

"Did he at least pay for your date?"

She shook her head, patience running thin. He really liked annoying her and was very proficient at it. "Jesus Christ, it wasn't a date! I don't date! He came to town to check up on me and we had dinner to catch up. It's a perfectly normal thing to do."

And for the record, Olivia had paid for both her 'not-dates' with Alcide and Jamie.

"For someone who can literally read minds, you are awfully oblivious sometimes."

Her eyes were lasering holes in his face. She had to flip the script before she blurted out something she'd regret later. "Why does it bother you so much? I went out with you too, you know?"

"You think that was a date?" Eric cocked a brow.

"Hmm, yeah?"

He had bought her a dress, shoes, and expensive jewellery, booked an entire high-end french restaurant, and paid for dinner. What the hell do you call that?

"We talked about work the entire time," he pointed out.

"So?"

Eric smirked, finally. "So you always talk about work while on dates? It's no wonder you never married."

She threw her head back. "Oh, fuck off."

He laughed deep from his belly, a sound he shamefully didn't do more often. His smile was warm and seductive and made her feel full of light. Without thinking, his right hand landed on her thigh, thumb caressing her tenderly. Olivia let out a reluctant but feisty smile and held his hand, wrapping his palm with her fingers. She really liked this, all this banter. How easily she softened with his touch, and how this time she was only pretending to be mad at him. They just drove quietly, both enjoying each other's silence for miles.

"Hey, where are we going anyway? I don't recognize this road at all," she asked after the night had grown quite dark and they didn't seem any closer to the city at all.

"You'll see, we're close."

They drove maybe another five miles north before turning right into a gravel driveway. According to the sign hung on the chain link fence this was a self-storage yard. Good God, what secret was he about to unload on her now?

The Jaguar's headlights shined ahead, illuminating the steel buildings neatly arranged in rows with orange garage doors. Eric scanned a key fob at the gate and the fence split open letting them inside. He slowly drove to the third row and parked his car in front of door number 39. Olivia followed him outside, the air was getting chillier now, but it still felt thick with humidity. Other than the frogs and crickets, there wasn't a single soul or sound anywhere.

She watched him unlock and open the roll-up sheet door, lifting it from floor to ceiling, the metal creaking loudly for a moment before it stopped, letting nature continue its nightly music. The vampire stepped on the concrete floor and flicked a light switch on the wall inside. Lights showed the contents of the room, which was far bigger than it looked on the outside. Despite the many doors, there were no walls dividing this warehouse. This whole building was hollow and entirely his. There were at least a dozen cars, a few trucks, an airstream trailer and two black vans with tinted windows. Most vehicles were covered in cloth, but she could tell by the low rooftops and unusual sleek shapes that these were antiques and luxury cars. Eric had an expensive taste for toys.

Olivia had a sudden bad feeling in her stomach. "What's all this?"

"Pick one," he said simply, motioning to the garage.

"Why?"

"I wrecked your car, I should replace it."

Olivia looked at Eric, and she could see it there again - the pain in his eyes, just like in the hospital. Reaching deeply into their bond, she could tell Eric was filled with heartache and guilt. He wanted to have her badly, but the price they both paid for it was high. It was odd to see someone so cold and confident feel this kind of emotion, especially so intensely. His face hid it well, a thousand years of experience perfecting this very skill. But this felt… Wrong. This was nothing like the last time he gave her a car.

"No," she shook her head. "You don't have to give me anything."

"Why not? I gave you the Corvette."

"I earned that by getting Pamela out of a sticky situation. I didn't earn… Whatever the hell this is."

Eric's lips turned into a thin line. He walked deeper into the unit and uncovered a black Audi, zipping it out of its custom cloth cover with vampire speed. "Take this one. It's smooth, easier on gas than-"

"Eric, stop." She interrupted. He wasn't listening. "We're not doing this."

"Yes, we are. You saved me-"

"And you saved me! We are even."

"We are so fucking far from even, it's not even funny," he threw the bundle of white fabric that covered the car and threw it on the ground.

"Yes, we are!"

Something inside him snapped. "The Newlins found you because of me! I knew they were lurking somewhere in town, and not only I failed to stop them, but I dragged you into their trap and it almost… I almost killed you in the car, and because God is a sick, sick bastard, you almost bleed to death in front of my own fucking eyes! I failed at the one fucking thing I promised you. So please, take the fucking car."

Olivia frowned at the angry words coming from the Viking. This entire time he blamed himself for what had happened that night? Is that why he had disappeared? He felt ashamed for breaking an idiotic romantic promise as if she didn't have a hand in what had happened to them?

He may be too hopped up on her blood to remember right now, but she was the one who started a feud with the Newlins. She was the one who asked him to dance in that stupid gala and exposed herself to the media. Olivia knew the risks of living such a dangerous life, and she never once wanted anybody to get hurt for her. It pained her to discover Eric had been avoiding her out of guilt, especially when he had done so much for her. Liv just could not believe what she was hearing right now.

She shook her head, looking down at her hands. "If that's how you feel, then ask."

"Ask what?"

"For forgiveness."

Eric went very extremely still. It was absurd they were even having this conversation, but that was the very fucking point. He had nothing, nothing, to be sorry about. No reason to feel guilt whatsoever.

Being saved by a man was not Olivia's motto or brand by any means. It in fact, went deeply against every fucking rule and instinct she's ever had. But fuck if she wasn't grateful that he did. Eric Northman had not saved her for selfish pride - to win a case, get a promotion or a trophy wife like Alcide or Jaimie. He had actually, time and time again, risked his own life for her. On Sunday, he could have turned her and kept her forever, but instead, he risked burning up in the sun just to get her help. And he stayed with her at the hospital the entire time, just holding her hand. She was out of it but remembered the soft kisses on her forearm, the gentle promises he whispered into her hand while she lay in bed recuperating. Eric deeply and selflessly cared for her. He was not only unafraid to go down with her, but he would turn their bodies around so he would break her fall. His need for her was not out of ego, but out of honourable duty and passion.

Olivia walked across the concrete pad, towards her vampire. She cradled his face gently with the same hands he had held and kissed, his eyes were lined with crimson tears.

"I'm so very sorry for what they did to you. For what I… Did to you. I made you…" his whisper trailed off, lost in the air.

Immortal was the word. It was a consequence so huge she couldn't even fathom the grandiosity of it. But for whatever reason, at least right now while she looked at his eyes, it didn't scare her. No, she felt something else entirely.

"If I wasn't yours, if it wasn't for the joining, we would both be dead, Eric. As long as you keep your promise to release me, there is nothing to forgive. All you made me is yours, and I'm grateful."

His arms wrapped around her and he planted a long kiss on the top of her head. She had to fight off some tears herself. It was better to be immortal and live… Then not to live at all. And if this spell didn't break when she parted, then… She'd figure it out. She always did. Olivia just trusted he'd keep his word about her release. Eric broke the hug after a while, and reached down to the front tire of the Audi, getting its keys and dangling them in front of her. His eyes were clear as the blue morning sky.

"As much as I love touching your thighs while I'm driving, I can't keep being your chauffeur, I got shit to do."

"Fine," she rolled her eyes, defeated. "But not to be choosy, do you have something with cheaper insurance? That Corvette almost bankrupted me, and I don't think an Audi would be much better."

Eric tried not to be too pleased about the request and led her to the car at the very front, near the open garage door. It was one of the few that wasn't wrapped in a custom-made cover, as it was just a dark and dusty red Toyota SUV. She didn't know if this thing would fit down her narrow driveway, but the Corvette somehow did. He picked up the keys from the front tire and dangled them in front of her.

"It's Pamela's pedestrian car, for when she has to go undercover for me."

Olivia didn't care, she was just pleased to have a car again, one that didn't cost a kidney and half in gas alone. She took the keys proudly. "Also, I'm making a rule that this is the last car you give me."

"Promise?" He smirked, arching a brow.

Eric opened one of the garage doors to let Olivia drive herself home in her new car. It totally had a soccer mom vibe, but it was better than getting taxis or being driven around by Bobby or Samuel. The keys felt heavy in her hand, and his calmness had reminded her of something. A question she had asked twice and he had masterfully avoided the answer. If bad things happened when Eric measured his words, she was apprehensive to find out what happened when he didn't give her words at all.

"Eric, where have you been all week?" She repeated herself calmly.

"Around," he said, opening the garage door in front of her SUV with another thundering creak. The stark warehouse lights made the outside look like a pitch-black dark void.

Third strike. "Eric," she glared at him. "Answer me. Where were you?"

The Viking stood at the edge of darkness, staring back at her idly. The sudden coldness she felt was not the night air. "The Newlins didn't get to us alone. They had help."

Her brows immediately creased, as her mind ran over the very long list of enemies they had made along the way. "Who?"

"Patrick Furnan," Eric answered coldly.

A breeze blew by her feet, giving her chills in her bones. Or maybe it was the revelation that it was again her own actions coming back to bite them in the fucking ass. She knew Furnan had been trying to get the Casino licence for years, and they snatched it right out from under him by blackmailing the Governor of Louisiana. His wrath and ire were understandable, she'd be pissed too, but teaming up with known religious terrorists to commit murder? That seemed like a bit of an overreaction.

"That's rubbing elbows with quite the company for a guy who owns a motorcycle dealership."

Eric looked at her deeply. There was more to this she didn't know. "Patrick Furnan is a werewolf, Olivia. He's the Alpha pack leader of the Shreveport pack, and he's no stranger to befriending criminals and other vermin considering half his pack runs the biker gang."

Her jaw clenched in an active attempt not to drop it on the fucking floor. Holy fucking shit - the pieces were all coming together now. Patrick Furnan was golf buddies with Jackson Herveaux because they were both pack masters!

"So I assume he's at the bottom of the Red River too?"

The vampire shook his head. He looked at her with empty eyes, as dark as the night behind him. He said nothing.

"Eric…"

"I gave him a choice," he told her firmly. "To give me the heads of the wolves who helped the Newlins, or his own."

Olivia trembled in fear. It was like she was staring at a tsunami that was about to swallow her whole. And she wasn't sure if she could swim. "Oh God… What have you done?"

"First I found out the names of all of the wolves on motorcycles following us that night and I killed them all, plus any other who stood in my way. Then Patrick and his wife, who cowardly skipped town."

She didn't have to imagine because she's seen it. Vivid memories of Eric tearing human beings apart in that dark basement had been seared into her mind months ago and she was sure this had been no different. Except he didn't do this in the darkness, no. She knew it in her bones Eric had murdered these people during the day when his strike would be least expected. That's what he'd done with the gift of their joining. He spilled blood.

"Holy shit-" she sharply inhaled, feeling so cold she could shiver. Her words barely escaped her. "Tell me you didn't do this because of me."

The bodies. Her mind imagined the bodies, torn and bloody stacked one on top of the other. She imagined a river of blood. Again and again, there was a price to pay to be here, where she stood.

Eric carefully and slowly approached. "I had to defend my position. I cannot allow people to strike against us and simply go unpunished. It would put us at risk all over again."

"But did you have to take out an entire werewolf pack?!"

"I gave Furnan the courtesy of a choice which was far more than he fucking deserved. We had a longstanding peace deal and he broke it because of his own greed. I owed him and his pack nothing."

Olivia shook her head, looking away from him and thinking of all the hurt he caused, of all the people he's killed. She knew he was right - that people in power had to often do unsavoury things to gain or keep said power. But it didn't mean it didn't weigh heavily on her. She wished they lived in a world where they didn't have to make these choices. That they could just drive over the hills in comfortable silence, enjoying their bond. Enjoying the taste of each other. But the reality they lived forced them into these impossible decisions, decisions that made them hate themselves.

"And I didn't kill all of them, only the ones who struck against us," his hands brushed her naked arms, which were covered in goosebumps. "The ones responsible for hurting you."

Their eyes met once again. He looked at her with longing and tenderness. Eric touched her as if they were in bed together, quietly holding each other. She wished deeply that they were, and that all of this was just a bad dream.

"I cannot and will not allow anyone to hurt you, Olivia. It's a promise I made even before you agreed to be mine."

"I know," she whispered gently. "It's how far you're willing to go to fulfil that promise that scares me."

He nodded quietly with a small smile, walking back to his car parked outside. She knew he'd go to any lengths, further than she could even possibly imagine. Eric Northman would kill, and Eric would die for his promises, and that was exactly the problem. The feeling of hopelessness and heartbreak she felt at the bottom of that pool watching him bleeding out ready to die in the sun was not one she would like to relive ever again. He felt the same.

She longed for the world they both lived in to not be so bloody and cruel, but it's where they chose to be. Olivia had long planned for her escape, and now she wished she could take him with her. But it was impossible. He was stuck here.

"There is one more thing I should perhaps tell you, seeing as you like going on dates with men I dislike when I'm busy," he said before entering his Jaguar.

And just like that - their sweet tender moment was over.

"Good God, what is it now?" She crossed her arms, rolling her eyes. She preferred him tender. And quiet.

"What was left of the werewolf pack has regrouped and I've been told they've chosen a new leader."

Okay…"What does that have anything to do with me dating? Which I wasn't, by the way-"

"It's who they chose," Eric said from the darkness. The sounds outside went eerily still. "The new Alpha of the Shreveport Long Tooth pack is Alcide Herveaux."

A.N

Well, well, well look who finally got her shit together and unstuck herself from her little writer's block (for the most part, there are some pretty big gaps still).

But it's official - Alcide is the Alpha and things have gotten from bad to worse!

The next few chapters will be a different flavour of rollercoaster from the usual but I think you'll like them. As usual, leave me some loving in the comments, and see you next week!

xoxoxo