Notes: This chapter took longer than I expected, between rl happening and sections that fought with me. Anyway, here it is. Leave a review to let me know what you think, please!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter TextThe Rust Bucket II
Just outside Gwen's house
November 25, 2000
12:30 PM
"I'll have them back by dinner on Sunday" Grandpa said as they walked through the front door.
Their parent's called out last goodbyes were drowned out by Ben's shouted "SHOTGUN!" as he raced for the passenger door of the Rustbuck- the new old RV the old man used for a house. Gwen was right, calling it the Rustbucket II didn't really work, but they hadn't come up with a better name. Maybe on this trip.
He yanked open the door and jumped in, making the camper rock, snickering as Gwen yelled "No fair taking a head start, Doofus!" before she slammed into the side door, trying vainly to get to the passenger seat first. He had his door closed and was leaning into the backrest as she got to the left of the seat, just behind it with a frown on her face and her left hand on her hip. She lurched as her right hand grabbed on to the seat back to keep steady as Grandpa climbed into the driver's seat and the banged up RV's suspension complained as it rolled sideways when he settled in. The motor whined for a few seconds as he turned the key before it coughed to life and settled into a fast idle.
"All right, you dork, move your skinny butt over."
"Nuh uh! I called it, I get it. Besides, even if my butt's skinny, yours is big enough to push me off anyway!"
"Come on, Doofus! I don't want to sit in the back by myself!"
"Bennn" Grandpa growled lightly as he put the transmission in gear and eased away from the curb.
"Nope", he said, popping the p with an innocent look. "Them's tha rulez.""
Gwen smirked back, but instead of starting the fight Max still expected - they had an epic one under similar circumstances at the start of the first summer trip - she simply said crisply "Fine". Then she plopped down in his lap, knees together hanging over the arm rest and feet pointed at the driver's seat. She started kicking her left foot with an insufferably smug expression.
Ben spluttered at Gwen's unexpected solution, as Grandpa's frown was erased by his short explosion of laughter.
"Hey! What gives?! Get off!"
"Nope!" she parroted back at him, popped p and innocent grin included. "The seat cushion is lumpy but I can live with it!" she said as she leaned into his chest and wrapped her left arm over his shoulders.
Gwen looked directly into his eyes with a challenge as she mimicked him. "We gots newrulez!"
"Grandpa! Do something!"
The big man let out a chuckle, a rumble that came from deep in his chest and reverberated off the windshield. "Don't know what you're complaining about, Sport. You called the seat, you got it. Looks to me like you've got just what you wanted."
Gwen giggled. "Grandpa!"
"I don't really want a bony butt digging in to my legs" he grumbled, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend's waist.
"Bony?!" she said in mock outrage. "A second ago you said it was too big! You can't have it both ways, you knucklehead. Make up your mind!"
"Bony and wide. Awful combination." he grumbled some more, even as his ineffective glare faded into a badly suppressed grin. "Evil witch!"
"Uh huh. Nice try, Doofus." she said, just as the RV hit a manhole cover, making her bounce and the whole vehicle shudder. Ben tightened his arms around her, preventing her from sliding off his legs to the dusty floor at his shoes.
"Good catch! Nice to see you're still my hero, bony butt and all!" Gwen murmured before pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
Ben smiled and wiggled underneath her to resettle into the seat. "You know it, Dweeb." They traded looks into each other's eyes for a moment before Grandpa cleared his throat.
Gwen looked over at him, blushing pink, and asked "Um. So how long will it take to get there, Grandpa?"
"About three and a half hours. And I didn't get as much sleep as I hoped after Thanksgiving dinner, so do you think you two can help me?"
"How are we supposed to do that?" Ben asked, a little bewildered. Grandpa never needed help driving before, he just … drove. "You're gonna let us drive this thing on a real freeway?!" he asked with surprise. Their first driving lessons had gone well enough on the empty, flat straightaways of the high desert, at least after they both got past the initial fits and starts of learning how the accelerator and brake pedals worked.
Ben grinned at the picture in his mind of being in the left seat barreling down PCH, impervious to the smaller cars around them.
As usual, the Dweeb supplied the voice of sanity. "Of course he isn't, you doofus! He means we have to talk to him so he stays awake. Right Grandpa?"
"You got it, Pumpkin!" the big man replied.
"Oh. Yeah, right" Ben said a little sheepishly. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Tell me about your school dance. What's it like being up on stage?"
"Well…" Ben said, catching Gwen's eyes for a second before happily launching into a long description. Without the details of their personal moments, of course. What Grandpa didn't know couldn't be dragged out of him; and besides, kissing and telling was definitely breaking the rules of this girlfriend-boyfriend thing. He knew that much about it, at least.
Gwen added to it as excitedly as he ever saw her - she had a blast, too, and hearing her side of their stories was a new viewpoint for Ben that made the memories better - but not before he saw her briefly puzzled frown. He figured she was also pondering how their grandfather knew Ben had played guitar and sang with the band during the dance. He didn't remember that coming up yesterday any more than she did. His parents must have said something when they were up in his room playing video games before dinner.
The stories lasted for forty-five minutes or so, including some of Grandpa's flashbacks to concerts he saw many years ago. Tales of the rock 'n roll scene back then just didn't match up with him as a young Air Force pilot, but that was Grandpa. The three fell into a comfortable quiet as the passing scenery of the Pacific Ocean and redwood forests on Pacific Coast Highway rolled by. After another fifteen minutes, though, Ben started squirming in his seat, disturbing Gwen as well in her perch on his lap. Max glanced at the two and laughed softly at his grandson's antsiness.
"You two don't need to stay up here with me. Go on back if you want, I've got my eight tracks for road music. I even dug out a vintage Shag Carpet Christmas album!"
Ben couldn't stop his snort. "If you call that stuff music!"
"Hey, now, it may not be what you like to play, but it keeps me focused."
"Are you sure, Grandpa? We can still talk to you. Right Ben?" Gwen said as she elbowed him in the ribs.
"Ow! Watch it Dweeb!" Ben complained. "Yeah, Old Man, we don't want you snoozing. It's not like this thing can drive itself!"
Max tried to glare at him but couldn't quite do it. "That's enough from the peanut gallery, you insolent pup!" he said with a grin instead. "Go on, I'll be fine. I've been driving long distance since way before you two were part of the picture. I'll let you know when I can use some more chit chat."
Gwen got up and stretched behind the seat before taking Ben's hand. "OK Grandpa, if you say so. … Come on, Doofus." she said as she pulled him up.
"You didn't tell Grandpa about calling me beautiful that night." Gwen teased in an airy, happy voice when they got to the dining booth.
"So what are we going to do for a couple hours? I don't know about you, but I have some homework I want to get out of the way."
Ben couldn't help getting flustered - he didn't think she wanted him to tell that story. He wouldn't mind for Grandpa, but wasn't sure if doing that broke the girlfriend-boyfriend rules. Or was it just the Tennyson-kids-don't-want-to-get-caught rule? And besides - "Well, neither did you! Was I supposed to?"
Gwen laughed "I can't say something like that about myself, Doofus. Ladies don't do that. It's OK for Grandpa to know when you do something sweet!" Ben got a lopsided grin when she let him off the hook. "Or tell him when I do."
The ancient 8 track player made its signature racket ejecting a tape, then a similar noise as Grandpa pushed in a new cartridge. The unmistakable sonic assault of Shag Carpeting started, the hard rock chords just barely recognizable as Sleigh Ride. Two guitars were hammering out electric melody and harmonies in a way that Ben could appreciate for the technique if nothing else, but Gwen grimaced as the overpowering song played.
"I don't know how Grandpa likes this! Christmas music just isn't supposed to sound like this!"
"We could ask him to turn it down, I guess." Ben shrugged and said doubtfully. "At least it only plays on the front speakers, so we could turn on something else on back here. It's too soon for Christmas music anyway. … Not much we can do about what he likes to listen to, though." They both knew his first idea wouldn't work - as long as he was driving he controlled the front radio, Grandpa always said, and this was one of the things he generally didn't compromise on, at least if they weren't up front.
"Wanna bet?" she grinned at him, the way she did when she was starting to nerd out. She reached into her backpack on the bench seat and pulled out a medium small, gray stone with black lines running over it. She held it between her thumb and first two fingers and quirked her eyebrows at him. "Watch this!"
The stone glowed a soft pink as she held it, and the raucous sound from the front immediately lowered to a barely noticeable hum.
"What the…? How did you do that?!"
Gwen got that Puddy-tat-just-ate-Tweety-bird look and held up the hand holding the stone. "I made a new charm! … Sometimes I just don't want to hear my parents music, or whatever they have on TV. It interrupts my concentration when I'm doing homework." Of course she'd create something related to school - that's why she was the Nerd Queen.
Ben rolled his eyes. "Only you could make magic uncool like that!"
She smirked back. "Says you! It also muffles sound from my room getting to them. Like when I play one of your songs. … Or when we want a private phone conversation." Her eyes twinkled as she explained.
"Oh. … OH. … i get it. I take it back! … You've gotten really good at making those!" he said with a gleam of pride. His girlfriend really was something special!
She grimaced and rejected his praise. "Not really, but I'm getting better. At least the ones I make now don't explode any more. Do you have the nightlight one I gave you?"
"Yeah, but I must have done something to it - it stopped working a while ago." he said apologetically. He reached into his backpack and brought it out.
"Don't worry, you didn't break it, Ben. I made it as jack-proof as I could, it just ran out of mana. I figured out how to make it get a trickle charge from the environment, though. Give it here." She slipped the silence charm into her pocket and took the one he was holding out.
The sorceress held it in the palm of her left hand and hovered her open right hand over it. A stronger pink glow surrounded both hands as she mumbled the strange words. After a few seconds the glow from her hands stopped, but the charm had a faint pink halo surrounding it.
"I'm letting it do the trickle charge just to make sure it works, it should be full up later today. But it'll work now." she said, handing it back to him. Ben took the charm and pressed it the way she showed him, and it glowed a soft warm white.
After all the times he saw her use magic, and the incredible things she could do with it - especially the feeling when she healed his bumps and bruises - watching her do it was still one of the coolest things he ever saw! He turned it off and looked up and saw the pleased look in her eyes.
"Holy sh… Honestly, Dweeb … That's just awesome!" he grinned at her.
Her smile got bigger as she fished another stone, er, charm with a more complex pattern of black lines etched into it out of her backpack. "That's nothing. Check this out!" she said with obvious confidence and pride.
Gwen pressed the top of the charm and slid her finger along a line that surrounded it, and the first song Ben sent as part of his dance invitation list a couple weeks ago started playing from nowhere. It filled the dining booth and galley space around them with sound; not quite as clear as live, but how could he criticize this! She adjusted the volume with a small motion of her finger as she sat down into their place at the table.
Ben knew his eyes were as wide as they could get, and that still couldn't show the wonder and pride he felt in his Dweeb. "Damn!" he whispered to himself.
"How does that even work?!" he said in total amazement.
Gwen grabbed his hand and pulled him into the booth, snuggling his back towards her and giggled. "It's magic, dummy!"
"I got the idea from the silencing charm - if that worked, I figured why couldn't I make the opposite work, too? It took some experimenting, but I got it! At first I played the songs through my alarm clock speaker to record them, but the playback sounded awful. This is off the big speakers from Daddy's stereo." she explained in a very pleased-with-herself tone. Ben grunted an acknowledgment; she was definitely entitled to feeling that way. Still, he couldn't let her ego get too much bigger.
"You are such a showoff, Dweeb!" he said, looking over his shoulder at her with an affectionate smile.
"Yeah, and you love it, Doofus!" She pulled him back against her as she wrapped her arms around his middle, and he relaxed into her hug with a contented sigh. "Now shut up; I put all the songs from your invitation in the charm and I want to listen to them again." she murmured happily. "I think homework can wait for a while."
The songs from his invitation played out as the two of them listened without much talking, just enjoying each other and the music. They didn't have as many opportunities to snuggle like this like they used to, and Ben missed the feel of his girlfriend holding him as much as she did. When Dance With Me, the last tune from the list, was halfway through, he felt Gwen take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "That really was a sweet invitation, Ben. Pretty clever, too. Did I ever say thank you for it?"
Oh boy, did she! More than once, in fact, and each kiss was a little better than the last. But he wouldn't say no to a couple more. "Um, I'm not sure." he said slowly as he twisted around in her arms to face towards her. "Maybe you should do it again, just in case."
She gave him that smile, and his heart stuttered in the best way like it always did. "Yeah, maybe I should…" she murmured as she leaned her head down to him, touching her lips softly to his for a few moments as the song died out. She made her happy noise - a sound that was better to him than any music - before she ended it after a couple seconds with a look of resignation. She opened her lips to talk - lips that tasted like vanilla today - and he knew she was about to say they should get to their homework. They still had a long time to go, and he did not want to ruin it with schoolwork. He knew she really didn't want to, either.
So he spoke up before she did. "I've got the songs from the dance Paul sent us. Give me a second so I can hook up my phone to the stereo.":he said as he started to get up.
Gwen looked at him with her stern face the way she did so often before last summer started and he got ready for the argument that usually followed it. Instead, she closed her eyes for a second and shook her head once before opening them again with a playful smile. Aaand there went his heart again…
"Mom is right. You really are a horrible influence!"
"Maybe." He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just following Uncle Frank's lead, though - having some fun is a good thing, too!" Ben had heard that argument often enough when her dad let them escape her tiger mom's approach to life.
His girlfriend won over his study partner. "Aaallll riiight!" she sighed in mock exasperation, like she was agreeing to something she really didn't want to do. As if!
"We do have another two days before school." She looked at him with a smirk. "Hurry up, Tennyson! You're wasting time!"
Half a minute later he was back in her lap, the sounds of his rendition of Cliffs of Doverfilling the galley. He put his arms over hers again and closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of her hugging him from the back as he relaxed against her. The seat back was never this soft and comfortable.
They were well into the second set - their lips were still tingling from another intense kiss she applauded him with after Always played, along with a promise that he'd better do a private performance for her soon - when the melancholy intro to The Flame started. Ben had forgotten about this song. He didn't regret getting to know Army Girl better while they danced to it, but he didn't need the reminder of how summer went so wrong. Even though they emerged from that awful time mostly OK - and having Gwen there to take away his hurt and let him share hers was one of the things he silently thought of before Thanksgiving dinner - this song always messed him up, the now familiar tightness in his chest and fast, shallow breaths starting even as he desperately tried to keep it from happening. He was tired of it even as he felt the pain again, and he was sure she was fed up with his moodiness.
"Can you give me a sec, Gwen? I need to get up" he said as he started to push himself out of the bench seat. His voice sounded weird, even to him.
He couldn't look at her, especially when he heard the concern and confusion in her voice. "Ben? What's wrong? You OK?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just gotta go…" he said weakly as he headed for the back of the RV.
- X -
It wasn't the first time the Doofus abruptly needed to use the bathroom. She'd seen similar reactions from the boys at school, too, suddenly getting up in the middle of class and hurrying out of the room with a hall pass. Although he hadn't had that urgent need for a long while, now that she thought about it. What could have gotten into him?
Then the words to the song started and she knew.
She had seen how the start of his dance with Michelle was hard for him, but Ben seemed to get over it as they moved together. He even let her best friend hug him when they finished! It wasn't until the next day when 'Chelle told her what they talked about, how she apologized to him for her angry outburst when they told her about their new relationship. How the dark haired girl thought her boyfriend was still hurting so bad. And he never told Gwen, not really. He'd helped her through her sorrows and anxiety attacks, but never asked for her help. The doofus!
He needed it now, even if he wouldn't say so. And this time she could do something about it. She walked quietly to their bunks, where her boyfriend was leaning against the top bunk with his forehead and right forearm against the frame. He whispered harshly to himself "Stop! Just quit it, you wuss… God, why can't I make this stop?!" he sobbed, anguished.
"Doofus?" she asked in a quiet voice, approaching him the way she would a wounded dog that would likely lash out in fear because of the pain it felt.
"Gwen?" He spun around with the heel of his hand rubbing his eyes. "I'm fine, I'll be right out. I just-"
"No you aren't. … 'Chelle told me how this song affected you."
"I… yeah" he said, looking down at his shoes miserably as his shoulders slumped. "I gotta stop doing this…"
She wrapped him in a hug and murmured in his ear. "You need to get better. That's how this stops. And that takes time. … We both do." Gwen brought up her right hand to brush away the tear track on his cheek. "And what did I say about you not doing this by yourself?" she admonished him gently as she pulled him close again.
Ben shuddered in her arms as another sob wracked through him. All he could do was nod as she let him bury his face in her shoulder. "I know… I'm sorry, Dweeb…"
"Ssh…. C'mere" she whispered, pulling him down to sit on her bunk, rocking him gently. The mournful strains of the song carried to the back, and the familiar, painful words had their effect on her too. She felt her eyes filling up.
"You don't have to apologize, Doofus." Gwen said in a quivering voice. "I know. Michelle told me… And I listened to this song back then, too, I know what it does."
She took a deep breath and listened to the ending lyrics.
Remember after the fire, after all the rain
I will be the flame
I will be the flame
"And I know I'll always have you with me. You'll be there when I hurt. Like the song says." She sniffled and wiped some tears away from below her eyes, then picked up his face with a hand to his cheek. The look in his eyes almost broke her heart, until he focused them on her through his tears as they started to wash his pain away.
"You need to believe I'll do that for you, too." She let her head fall gently to his forehead before pulling him close, with his face back at her shoulder. Gwen felt him nod his head again.
"I know you will, Dweeb. You always do."
- X -
"I'm done with my homework now. Looks like you are too?"
It took fifteen minutes or so to recover from that panic attack and stop being so embarrassed at how she found him. It was her idea to stop the music then, and stop that overwhelming, crushed feeling by concentrating on something else. Homework, of all things! But it worked, forcing both of them to focus on something besides the hurt from their early summer traumas that wouldn't go away. Not long after that Grandpa had pulled into the campground and left them to finish while he set out the camp furniture and walked to a nearby convenience store for a few snacks and groceries.
"Yeah, I only had that algebra you helped me with, and a little reading for history. I've been done for maybe ten minutes."
"Good!" Gwen said brightly. "Then we can pay attention to more fun things! Grandpa said this trip is about making happy memories in the Rus- er, his new RV." Gwen said, standing in the short passageway between their bunks and the galley.
"Yeah. And?" Ben replied, looking up warily from his reclined position reading a comic book on her bunk, leaning up against the side of the vehicle. He had a feeling she'd been quiet for too long, leaving too much time for her to think.
"Aaannd… I thought you could do that by making dinner tonight, since you've been bragging about fixing your dad's dinner last month. … I checked, there's noodles and tomato sauce and spices and everything else you need to make spaghetti. Grandpa even got some sourdough rolls for garlic toast!" She gave him an expectant look. "Show me you know your way around a kitchen! … I didn't get any of your cooking that night, remember?"
Remember?! How could he possibly forget anything about that night?! Besides the panic he got over how bad she felt, and the relief when he was finally able to check on her, so much changed so quickly… They were still trying to deal with the raft of new rules their parents came up with after his freaked out. Rules that weren't always the same at both houses, and rules that seemed to get made up on the spur of the moment by one set of adults and not entirely agreed to by the other. Talk about confusing! And don't even get him started on how unfair they were!
And all over nothing, really! So he fell asleep in the same bed as her. It was his bed, after all. It was an exhausting night - obviously so for her, but taking care of her with all the worry and embarrassment and relief and holding her close to comfort her and… well, he was plenty tired, too, especially after that tough soccer practice. And the bed was so warm from her, even through the covers; it wasn't like they were tangled between the sheets together! And his Dweeb wanted him to stay. Who was he to say no to all that?!
Waking up with her snuggled against his chest had been awesome! That feeling stayed with him for weeks!
"As I recall, you don't think much of Dad's spaghetti with hot dogs. You want me to make that?"
She screwed up her face. "Eww! No!" said the master of making simple, one syllable words into two or three - sometimes it was hard to tell how many. "Thankfully there are no hot dogs in the fridge. There are sweet Italian sausages, though!"
"Pleeaasse?" she said with her ridiculous puppy dog eyes. He knew he should put up at least a token fight, but really… What was the point? She was right, that was the reason for the trip - what they told their parents, anyway, although Grandpa was acting like he had something on his mind - so they better come up with some new stories. That they could actually tell their parents! And he wanted to replace their last memory of the Rustbucket as much as she did.
Besides, relying on Grandpa to make a recognizable dinner was a dodgy proposition at best.
Ben exaggerated rolling his eyes anyway. "Yeah, all right." he sighed as he swung his feet over the edge of her bunk.
"Yay!" she actually squealed, hopping a little where she stood. Seeing that smile on her face was so worth it!
- X -
"Thanks for that incredibly complete and ridiculously complicated explanation, nerd queen." Ben said, lacing as much sarcasm as he could into his voice to go with the glare in his eyes. "I've never heard such a detailed and useless description of how many tablespoons are in a pint before. Especially since all I asked was how many teaspoons are in a tablespoon!"
He turned back to the galley countertop and the dinner he was working on. "I'm not dumb, you know…" he grumbled.
"Now Ben, you know that's not…" Grandpa started to say before he was interrupted.
"Of course you're not." Gwen answered in a soothing tone as she got up from the dining booth and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him from the back with her chin on his right shoulder. "You're a doofus, is all."
"The doofus making your dinner."
"Uh huh. My Doofus! For which I am eternally grateful!" Gwen cooed before leaving a kiss on his cheek.
"Is that for dinner, or for your doofus?" Grandpa asked as Gwen's reply put a smile back on Ben's face. He twisted his head to look back at her as she ended her hug with a squeeze.
"Yes!" is all she said. But the happy twinkle in her eyes told him so much more.
"Yeah right!" he said with his own pleased tone. "But you're still doing the dishes."
She stuck her tongue out at him, smacked his shoulder lightly and sat back down at the table. "Brat!" Grandpa just chuckled and went back to the book he was reading.
Ben focused on dinner again. He knew he wasn't stupid - he learned that from her the first time she helped him with his math homework. He could see the moment she forced him to recognize it as if it were yesterday - a shock to him, to be sure, but it was the start of everything in his life changing. Even more so than when the Omnitrix latched on to his arm a few months earlier.
Ben smiled as he minced some garlic at the memory of the first time she tutored him in the park after their first summer, then sighed softly. It took several false starts, but she finally figured out how to explain pre-algebra in a way he got. After he almost stomped away in frustration, angry at the subject and misinterpreting her reaction - the same tired, obnoxious sigh his teachers did when they gave up. Thats what he thought, anyway, but then she tried something new and made it click for him, after all!
He learned something far more important than algebra that day - she believed in him and wouldn't give up on him, no matter how bull headed he acted.
He learned something else that he never would have dreamed of, too.
He liked the feeling that went with that knowledge. A lot.
It didn't go away or fade over time, either. Even though that day was a long time ago, she still believed in him, even without the Watch; if anything, that had only gotten stronger. She wouldn't let him give up on himself, and the warm feeling he got from his girlfriend kept getting better.
"Almost ready to make a memory, Sport? I'm getting kinda hungry." Grandpa called out from his place opposite Gwen at the dining booth. Ben shook his head once to refocus after his thoughts were interrupted.
"I thought we already were." Ben spread the garlic and sprinkled Parmesan cheese over the buttered roll halves and swapped them for some finished pieces in the toaster oven. He turned to face the girl of his dreams and their grandfather at the table. "Spaghetti and the sauce are ready, and this batch of bread will be done in a few minutes. And before you get started, Dweeb, yes, there's even some healthy stuff! There's rabbit food in the salad bowl."
"Like it, hate it, or barf it up, dinner's ready." he smirked.
Gwen scrunched up her nose. "Oh come on Doofus! It smells good! Do you have to be disgusting?"
"Remember who you're talking to?" Ben said as the smirk got bigger. "Fine. Try this - La cena è servita!" he said in bug-flawless Italian, exaggerating his arm movements as he matched the smile on his Dweeb's face.
- X -
Gwen shivered from the cold even though she was facing the fire three feet away, and had her back against Ben's chest and his arms were around her stomach. Or maybe she just got visibly grossed out from the burp he belched into her ear before he announced "Man, I'm stuffed! I never thought I'd say this, but I don't think I could eat another s'more right now!" Then he smacked his lips as he put down the mug of hot chocolate he just drained.
"Geez, you are such a pig! At least turn your head when you do that! Your breath stinks!" she groused as she slapped his thigh. She knew he didn't take it as an excuse for a fight, though, when he squeezed a little and gave a short laugh.
"Not surprising since you've had, like, five of them! On top of four pieces of that really garlicky toast. Honestly, we're you expecting to fight off vampires tonight?" she finished, unable to hide the smirk in her voice even as it wavered from the cold.
Grandpa swallowed the last of his dessert and chuckled. "If you've had enough, why don't you two go back inside so Gwen can warm up? I'll clean up out here."
Ben stood up, pushing the girl in his lap with him. "And you can do the dishes, Dweeb. Your turn, remember, since I did dinner!"
"Yeah, yeah. I know." she grumbled.
When they got inside, Ben took a seat, content to watch as she started washing the dishes and pots from dinner. The view of her back was almost as good as the front; his mind drifted in a direction their parents definitely wouldn't approve of as his gaze crept down her back to her… he shuddered slightly in the seat before that thought went too far. That was one more thing to appreciate about her, but it could also lead to an, er, uncomfortable situation.
After a few minutes the drying rack was pretty full, and Gwen was having some trouble making more stuff fit. Without a word he got up, stood next to her, picked up a towel and started drying off the plates at the edge.
His Dweeb looked at him with pleased surprise. "What are you doing, Doofus? I'm supposed to finish those."
"Just thought I'd give you a hand." he said as he put away a dish he finished.
Gwen let out a hmpf and went back to cleaning with a bit more enthusiasm. "What?" he said, picking up another wet dish. "Helping with the dishes is so unbelievable?"
"It is for you, you slacker. Since when do you volunteer to do stuff like this?"
"Since…" he started to retort hotly. A year ago he wouldn't have heard the playfulness in her voice and they'd have ended up in a major shouting match. Instead he took a breath, shrugged and replied "Since there are more fun things to do besides this cleanup scut work. … And maybe I just want to make one of those happy memories you keep going on about."
"The kind we can tell our parents?"
"That wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but that works too." he joked, putting the dish away.
Gwen looked over at him and giggled, then said "Why can't we make two? An innocent one we can tell them" she said in her normal way, "and another one just for us?" she cooed to him in a low, husky tone through half-lidded eyes.
Ben looked at her in shock for a second, until she opened her eyes all the way and started to crack up. "Oh my god, Doofus, the look on your face!" she gasped between laughs. Her laugh was infectious, and it was way more fun to join in with her than to get back at her. Why did it take so long to figure that out?
When the absurdity of the situation died down, Ben grabbed a pot off the rack. "Come on, goofball, let's just finish this." He put the pot on the stove and picked up a glass she just put in the rack with two fingers of water in it.
"You know, this would go quicker if you emptied things out before you put them in here."
She glanced at him with mock disdain. "Just toss the water in the sink, knucklehead. Is that too much for you to handle, Mr Hero?" she said, eyes sparkling with silent laughter.
Ben looked at her sideways, quirking an eyebrow. "Maybe I'll just toss it on you, see how much you like getting wet." he said, holding the glass at shoulder height and swirling the water in it. He let a little water splash over the top towards her into the sink, about to make good on his threat.
"Don't you dare!" Gwen shrieked, laughing and dancing away from the water he sent her way. She grabbed the spray nozzle with her right hand and pointed it at him, her left hand on the faucet blasting it to full. "I'm warning you, mister!"
Ben just smirked at her. "You won't do it! You can't stand the idea of making a mess in here." It wasn't meant to be a challenge, but his Dweeb took it that way, squeezing the nozzle's handle, sending the full force of the flowing water at him and catching him dead on from his chin to his stomach.
"You should know better than to dare me like that, Ben!" she laughed, turning off the water.
He stood there a second with his mouth open, drenched and shocked as much that she did it as from the icy blast of water. He blinked his eyes and shivered from the water and the chilly temperature in the RV (why couldn't Grandpa keep the thermostat set a little higher?), then yanked his shirt over his head before using the part that wasn't soaked to try and dry himself off.
- G -
Gwen saw the anger flash in his eyes for a second and braced for his retaliation, verbal or otherwise. She wasn't really surprised that he didn't, though - he had become a lot more tolerant of things she did that used to send him over the edge, and if she had to she could defuse his irritation with a hug and a kiss.
She was surprised at her reaction to him being soaked, specifically at the way the wet t shirt clung to his chest. The way it accentuated the muscles underneath reminded her of how he looked at his soccer match - lying on his back, uniform covered in sweat, grinning from ear to ear under his more than normally messy hair as she straddled his waist. Her Doofus never looked so ruggedly beautiful - she knew he'd use the word 'handsome', but he was! - and kissable! He had that same look in his eyes now, except the water didn't stink like his sweat did that day. A gross part of her almost missed that scent. Like then, that look was intoxicating, especially when he stripped the wet shirt off and tried to dry off with the back of it. Now she gaped at the way the light played off the water on his chest and stomach as the muscles there twitched and rippled from the motions of his arms and his breathing, trying to recover from the shock of the cold water. He had goosebumps all over…
She grabbed a spare dish towel and stepped up to him to help him dry off, but distractedly dropped it as her breath hitched when her hands got close and felt warmth from his chest. She couldn't help herself, her hands knew they wanted to find out what his skin felt like, to smooth out the little bumps, and the rest of her was along for the ride. Not that she objected to what they wanted to do.
Those hands were trembling as they contacted his bare chest for the first time since considering him as a boyfriend instead of the irritating boy he was the last time they went swimming. They were flat against him, she could feel the goosebumps on his skin against the palms of her hands and the muscle twitching underneath, then felt his heart beating hard as he took in a sharp breath and shuddered at her touch. She looked up into his deep green eyes, wide with… something. Something almost mysterious that she'd seen before that she didn't have a name for, a dark look that she liked seeing, that she hoped he could see returned in hers. She didn't resist when he wrapped his arms around her, wet t shirt forgotten as it fell to their feet, and pulled her to him for a kiss that she knew wasn't going to be like their usual. She'd make sure of that even if he didn't, leaning in to him and meeting his lips with hers, her fingertips brushing back and forth on his naked chest.
Her Doofus's kisses up to then had been mostly gentle and sweet, but recently he'd been more assertive and passionate. Sometimes she felt like he was hungry, urgent, like something bad was going to happen and they couldn't afford to wait for it. To not waste time. And Gwen had that feeling sometimes too - when her Doofus got that dark look in his eyes and started it she went along with him; and more than once she was the one who got him going.
He pressed his lips firmly against hers and opened his mouth, sweeping his tongue across her lips before grabbing her lower lip with his teeth for a second or two. Gwen gasped as he did, still a little shocked by his assertiveness; she liked it, though, and matched him at it. When he let go she let her tongue loose from her mouth, tasting his lips and tongue and feeling the two of them slip and slide over each other, sending jolts through her body that were thrilling and scary at the same time. He moaned out a low "mmmmm" to go with it. A part of her mind marveled that not that long ago the idea of doing what they were was beyond disgusting. But now it was breathtaking, filling her stomach with warm butterflies and making it flip flop in the best way. The idea that what she was doing was making him feel the same way was the most amazing thing.
It was, until the boy making her feel these shocks stepped up his game and pulled away from her lips. She moaned slightly in disappointment until his lips ghosted on her jaw, then pressed firmer, trailing a series of wet kisses from her chin along her jaw towards her neck. "Bennn…" she said in a breathy whisper. She tilted her head away from his to give him more room to keep going as she wondered where he learned to do this. Then she didn't care when his lips left her neck and she whimpered, followed by another gasp when she felt his tongue licking the top of her ear; a little too forcefully but not awful for a first try. The shock of feeling something so unexpected, and somehow so sensuous (and she found out how little she understood that word when she only read it in a pulp romance novel), and the slight scrape of his teeth along the edge of her ear sent a shudder down her back as a low moan escaped her again. Ben just let out a sort of growl into her ear, a noise he'd made a few times, but only when they got like this.
Her Doofus was full of surprises this time, switching his attention from her ear back to her neck, nuzzling it before leaving the same wet kisses and quick licks down her neck towards her shoulder. He was driving her crazy with this attention, nothing he'd ever tried before and nothing she ever thought she'd want. But now that he was doing it, she wondered why she hadn't done it first, and was thrilled at what he was doing!
"Oohh .." she said in a low pitched breathy voice she barely recognized as hers. Where did that come from, and why did she only get it when her boyfriend was doing these things? "What are you doing to me, Doofus?"
Ben moaned a little in reply, even as his lips found the base of her neck, tugging at her t shirt at the shoulder to get the collar out of his way. The sensation was amazing, making her weaker in the knees to the point she was afraid she might fall. Instead she slumped her butt against the counter, the remaining dishes totally forgotten, giving Ben better access to do more of what he was doing. His lips stopped in one place and she felt a little suction, making her take a sharp breath in to go with it.
"Ben…" she breathed out slowly again. What was her boyfriend doing? Why did it feel so good? The last bit of her rational brain found an explanation - a love bite. That's what Daddy's romance novels called it. A few of the more provocative girls at school talked about … a hickey? She didn't get then how it could even be a thing.
Oh my god, she thought, that IS what he's doing! And as good as it felt, what was left of the sane part of her brain started winning some attention. This can't keep going! She'd seen the mark on a couple girls at school and karate. Even if they tried to cover them up, there was no mistaking what they looked like. Or how they got there.
"Ben" she said a little firmer, with more of her normal voice. It was hard to overcome his efforts, as he increased the suction along with making little flicks of his tongue that drove her ever closer to blissfully losing control.
Which couldn't happen! "Doofus!" she said with the last of her resolve. Another few seconds and he'd leave a blatantly obvious dark cherry mark, if it wasn't there already, and who-knows-what to follow if she didn't get his attention. She didn't want to, lord knows she wanted him to keep at it, to have her turn with him, but if they didn't stop this she couldn't say what they would stop at.
Ben proved he was the clueless wonder she called him by not exactly ignoring her, but so caught up in making her feel things that he barely acknowledged her. She wondered what he was feeling but knew she'd have to wait to find out for herself.
She was aware again where her hands were, feeling the smooth warmth of his skin and the muscles of his chest moving underneath as his hands wandered over her back. With her last bit of determination she pushed him away, breathing hard as the suction on her neck stopped when his lips lost contact with her. She was breathing heavily, her chest moving back and forth but not quite touching his any more, even though he hadn't let her go.
"What?" he muttered, his eyes blown wide with confusion and whatever else they were feeling as they searched for hers. "What's wrong?"
He was finally able to focus on her face and his eyes locked with hers. He was also breathing hard, she could feel his chest heaving as he caught his breath. "Was I doing it wrong? … Did I hurt you?!" Those strong, passionate eyes started to show panic.
"NO! Ohmygod no, Doofus! That felt … amazing! That's the problem, you were doing toogood!"
"Then why…" he started, and finally realized what kind of situation they were in, how close they were, where their hands were. His eyes opened as wide as the dinner plates and his face burned crimson from his uncovered shoulders up.
"What… How did… Oh my god, Dweeb, I'm so sorry!" he said as she pulled her collar back up to her neck. He was in full blown panic like she'd never seen before now, eyes wild as he tried to make sure she was OK. Then they searched the RV far any clue that someone had seen them.
She exhaled hard. "It's OK, Ben, I'm fine! You didn't hurt me!"
The wild look faded a little as he looked back at her, and she saw the relief as he accepted what she said. But the panic wasn't gone, either.
"Um, I've got to…" he started to say before looking down at his bare chest and the front of her t shirt, his face color deepening to beet red. "I need to change!" he said, letting his hands drop from her back and then grabbing the wet shirt he used to be wearing. He turned abruptly and went to the back of the RV. The view of his naked back and the top of his boxers (the ones from the day she woke him up with a kiss, she realized) peeking over his jeans just below the small of his back left her breathless. Gwen faced the sink and the dirty dishes with her hands on the counter to steady herself, her breathing approaching normal but cheeks on fire. And that warm, tingly feeling at her center that was so much more than butterflies.
And just in time. Only a few moments later Grandpa came back into the Rustbucket. "Well, the camp fire's out and the chairs put away for the night." he said as he closed the door and looked into the galley, where Gwen was rinsing off a newly clean sauce pan.
"Where's your cousin? He could be helping you with that." He looked at the floor next to her. "And why is there that much water on the floor?"
Gwen quietly let out a shallow breath. "It's OK, Grandpa. He was being his usual obnoxious self, until I gave him a shot from the spray nozzle! He's in the back putting on a new shirt." she said, making sure her words carried. Then she giggled.
"A shot?!" came his outraged voice. "More like a soaking! If I wanted a shower I would have taken one for real! At least then I'd wouldn't be freezing!"
Grandpa laughed as Gwen put the pan in the drying rack. "Oh, poor baby!" she cooed. "You've had time to change shirts, Doofus, I'm coming back." she said as she started walking, the sounds of Grandpa putting the contents of the drying rack away clinking in the background.
- B -
Crap! They did it again! Ben stumbled when he got to their bunks, legs still weak from what just happened, what he just did with his girlfriend that everyone in their lives said they shouldn't, but every fiber in him screamed Go for it! Especially when she responded to it with her husky moans and hands moving over his chest, not in the gentle caress he'd felt many times before through a shirt but with a firm pressure that sent waves of a great feeling he didn't know he could have, rippling down past his stomach to where their thighs were pressed together.
It was awesome!
It was scary as hell!
He really hadn't planned anything like that when he nudged his shoulder against hers and started drying the dishes. He just wanted to help her finish so they could do something fun! The sudden shot of freezing cold water should have been enough to chase away any thoughts of getting frisky. But the look on her face when he stripped off his shirt…
He'd caught her checking him out plenty of times, and liked every one even if he teased her about it, but this time was different. Her mouth made a surprised O shape, then changed to a determined thin line when she closed it as the playfulness in her emerald green eyes switched to an intense look when her pupils rapidly expanded. She licked her lips just as her hands touched his bare chest, jolting his eyes away from hers to stare at her hands as he shuddered. Then they were kissing and their tongues were all over each other as he wrapped his arms around her, his hands moving up and down her back. Then he was sucking on her neck as she pushed him away… He dimly remembered hearing her gasp when he licked her ear - not something he ever imagined doing, that or kissing her neck, or trying to give her a hickey… His chest was on fire, he could barely breath, her gasps and deep breaths amazed him - she actually liked what he was doing, and it sent waves of pleasure through his body he'd only glimpsed before. Then she pushed away from him, although her eyes betrayed that she was this close to being as lost to the feeling as he had been.
Shit! He almost left a mark that she couldn't hide or explain away! His parents' lame attempt to blame a similar spot on his Mom's neck on a splash of cherry cola didn't fool him that one time, and they would see right through any BS he and the Dweeb might try, too. His girlfriend would be embarrassed to death! Not to mention the trouble they'd be in! How could he do that to her?!
That thought was enough to let his rational brain stagger back in control, and he knew she'd been right, they couldn't get that lost in each other. His face still burned from outright embarrassment and fear of how he'd put her in such a compromising situation. Even Grandpa would have had to do something if he saw what they were doing, what they might have done if it hadn't been for her sensibility. Shit!
But she liked it! He knew she did! Why was that wrong?!
How were they supposed to sort all this out?!
Ben shook his head to clear his brain and put on a t shirt he grabbed from his duffle bag. Huh. One of the last of his lucky black stripe ones, he noticed absently.
He pulled a light blue sweatshirt over his head, covering the shirt just before she got to their bunks. Winter had hit the California coast full force and the temperature fell like a stone while they were having the s'mores, and this RV's heater worked as well as the Rustbucket's - not very. His recent preference on what to wear to bed wouldn't be nearly enough to handle the cold.
The Dweeb headed straight for the drawer she stashed her clothes in without looking at him - why she bothered with it for only a three day trip he just didn't get - and pulled her dark blue, flannel pajamas from it. She stepped towards the bathroom, turning her head so she could talk over her shoulder. "I'm, um… I'm going to change. It's cold in here! I'll be out in a sec."
Ben got the matching sweat pants from the duffle and swapped them for the jeans he was wearing. He tried not to think about what she might look like on the other side of that door. Tried.
A few minutes after she went in, Gwen knocked on the door and announced "I'm coming out now."
Ben laughed. "Most people knock before going in a bathroom, not coming out, you nerd!"
"Just want to make sure you're decent, Doofus." she smirked back at him as she left the bathroom. "Your choice of PJs was questionable, last time I saw."
"Relax Dweeb. I'm all covered up. Even wearing shorts underneath, see?" he said, lifting the bottom of his shirt above his hip bone and pulling the waistband of the sweat pants down enough to display the dark blue and black checkerboard pattern of his boxers. "Don't worry, I won't ask about what you're wearing underneath, and I'm not lookin' to find out."
Why not? Aren't you even a little interested? Gwen thought, feeling her cheeks turn a light pink from guilt. Not that she'd give him a view, a proper lady would never!
"Good!" she said firmly, trying to will the flush she felt to stop. "And that's as much of your underwear as I want to see! Especially when you have them on. … I mean, I don't want to see you wearing them. You can not wear any at all for all I care! … Oh, geez…" she stuttered, feeling her cheeks get hotter.
"Want to stop digging now?" Ben laughed, followed it with a snort. "Yeah, right! That's not what you were thinking the last time you saw me in these!"
Gwen was burning crimson, and if would be so easy to push her over the edge into an epic screaming match. Before they became a thing that would've been his goal, especially over such a scandalous topic. But, embarrassing as it might get, after his own mortifying predicament that Saturday morning and what they just did he knew they had to talk. To agree on the boundaries of what they'd be OK doing with each other.
And not doing.
And they may not get a chance like this again any time soon.
He could talk to her about this stuff. Right?
He put his hand to the back of his neck, feeling his face turn the same color as hers. "Listen, Dweeb, um… About before, in the kitchen? I am so sorry about that! The last thing I want to do is get you in trouble!"
She looked him in the eyes. Ben was a little unnerved at how neutral the look was. He pressed on anyway. "I Uh… I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it, though. The way you make me feel. … A little bit."
He ducked his head at the incredulous look she gave him for that. "All right, I liked it a lot!"
He dropped his head and stared at his shoes. To anyone else what he wanted to say would sound… disgusting? Like he was a pervert? But he meant it as a compliment! Something that would make her not be self-conscious, to be proud and happy about her awesome appearance. Something he wanted her to only share with him.
"And… and I do wonder what you'd look like in some of the things I saw the last time I did our laundry. I know you'll look even more beautiful! … Maybe we can both show off to each other, someday?" he said, raising his eyes to see her reaction, amazed at the hesitancy in his own voice. "But…"
"But?" She snorted and looked at him expectantly, even though her face was as red as his had to be. She wasn't angry about this turn in the conversation, though, so he plunged ahead.
"But … " He huffed out a breath in embarrassment, then rushed out the words. "I know what I'm supposed to say. I hear some of the guys at school, trying to brag about what they did, or would do if they got the chance with whatever girl they were BSing about."
"Yeah?"
What was with her single word replies? Of all the times for his normally motormouth girlfriend to clam up! He couldn't tell what she was thinking, half expecting a pink blast of mana to slam into him at any moment. That or a hard punch.
"That's all it is. For them, saying crap they don't even wish would happen. Not really. But the things they say… I can't… I wouldn't ever even say things like that about you! Let alone pretend to brag about it! … I'd never do that to you!" He knew he was jabbering, but he had to get this out.
"Not that I don't want… I mean, I … The way you make me feel, I want to do that for you…" He stopped for a deep breath and let it out.
"I just want you to know… "
"Doofus…"
"… I'm OK with …"
"Ben!"
"… waiting for… that. I mean… we're not even in high school!"
"BENJAMIN KIRBY TENNYSON!"
"WHAT?!"
"Shut up and listen to me!" Gwen giggled nervously. "Geez, you can be such a dork when you get wound up!" she mumbled.
She stared at her feet. Admitting this was something she never imagined she'd be doing. "You didn't do anything that I didn't want. Really! I was just surprised, and… I don't know… "
He'd seen her face in all kinds of shades of red, but he'd rarely seen her burn like this. "I liked it, too!" she whispered. "I liked it a lot! And I want to do that to you! To make you feel what I did!"
She looked deep into his eyes, hers with resolve. "But we can't do that again! Not where we can get caught! If Grandpa came in three minutes sooner…"
Gwen looked away, unable to keep looking in his eyes now. "And you're right, about having… I want to see you like I did before. And I want you to see me… You always make me feel good about myself…" she almost whispered. With a visible effort she caught his eyes again. "But not now! Like you said, we're not old enough to be ready for that."
She smiled shyly, and it made him gulp. "Someday, though… Someday we will! … It means the world to me that you aren't trying to rush that, Doofus!"
Then his Dweeb stepped in front of him and hugged him with her smiling face next to his and her arms around his shoulders, a warm hug that made him feel amazing as he held her close.
"You mean the world to me, Dweeb. I don't want to screw that up!" he murmured into her ear.
He didn't know how long they held each other; he did know he didn't really want it to end. His Dweeb stepped back and looked at him again.
"So, we're gonna cut back on, um, overdoing it?" she asked through a cringe.
"You mean no more tongue wrestling! Gotcha!" Ben said with a smirk.
"Eww, Ben, you don't have to be gross about it! But, yes… and no. I didn't say no more, just … less. … Besides, do you really like that so much?"
"Well, yeah, sorta kinda. Don't you?" He said as his right hand went back to rub his neck.
"A little, I guess. But not as much as that thing you did to my ear! Where'd you learn about that?"
"I saw Dad do it to Mom once. … Totally by accident!" he rushed to say, with a horrified look. "Ruined my appetite for a month! But the way Mom acted…"
Gwen looked revolted. "Oh, real nice, Doofus! I'm never gonna be able to look at them now without thinking of that! Thanks a lot!"
Ben shrugged. "Welcome to my horror show Dweeb! … And it's not like yours are that much different, you know. We've seen plenty of their PDAs, too."
"You have no idea. I never thought I'd act like them, let alone with you!" she muttered to herself. Then she gave him a severe stare. "Oh, and one more thing - NO HICKIES! … At least until we don't have to be so careful any more. Those are too hard to hide. … And no, we can't do them to each other on places that we normally keep covered up!"
Ben laughed. "You really are a buzzkill! Got it, no visible suction bruises!" His laugh got louder at Gwen's groan.
She gave him a grateful smile then, and grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the front. "Come on, we have time to watch The Santa Clause before we go to sleep."
Ben groaned. "The Santa Clause? Really?!"
"Come on, Ben! It's Christmas!"
"Ugh! All right! … But we're gonna watch Die Hard next if we're doing Christmas movies!" he said as they entered the galley area. Grandpa looked up from his book from his seat at the table and rolled his eyes.
"Are you two still having that argument? Didn't you go through this last year?"
"Yeah, and the Doofus/Dweeb still doesn't get it!" they shouted at the same time, glaring at each other. The air in the RV got tense for all of ten seconds before they both burst out in giggles, then full on laughing, cracking up as they fell into each other.
"If they could only see this" Grandpa muttered, shaking his head with a tight grin and another quick eye roll. "Guess we'll have to watch both again, then, and get this resolved once and for all!" he chuckled. "Think you guys can let go long enough to load up the first one? I'll make some popcorn."
.
/
NOTES
Songs for writing this chapter
You Can Count On Me, Bruno Mars
Tell Her About It, Billy Joel
Sleigh Ride, Boston Pops
Underneath the Tree, Kelly Clarkson
All I Want for Christmas, Mariah Carey