NOTE:
This chapter ends the Thanksgiving weekend away. I'm trying to get chapters back to more manageable size, even if a given set of related scenes take multiple chapters.
Pacific Coast Highway
North of Point Arena
November 27, 2000
1:18 PM
Ben felt the shudder down Gwen's back through his hands at the riotous sound of the not-so-golden oldie Christmas album blaring from the front speakers as Grandpa accelerated the not-Rustbucket up the on-ramp to Pacific Coast Highway north. He turned in her arms away from the front of the camper and was surprised to see her lips curled up into an enigmatic smile that sent a completely different and very pleasant kind of shiver down his back.
She took his hands and pulled him towards the back. "Come on, Doofus! I want to show you something." she said with a mysterious gleam in her eyes. As they walked through the passageway to their beds Ben heard the head-banging band mangling a holiday tune get muffled by the silencing charm.
"Whooaaa!" he exhaled when they got to the back. Their bunkroom had a whole new look; Gwen had been busy while he and Grandpa settled the bill at the campground office. The bottom bunk was now enclosed in blankets, held in place by some books on the top mattress, sloping to some tie-down hooks a third of the way up the opposite wall. He couldn't stop the surprised look on his face - he hadn't seen anything like that since he was maybe six years old. Memories of happy times building soft structures with pillows and blankets in her room back then came flooding back.
"You made a blanket fort?!"
His girlfriend ducked her head with a pink-faced shy smile. "Yeah. I thought it would be fun to watch a movie in it. I made sure there was room for two!"
"This is so cool!" he breathed as they crawled under the blankets. The space was lit by a soft white glow from the nightlight charm at the foot of the bunk, and a similar light from the screen of her laptop. There was a comfortable looking jumble of pillows and one of Aunt Vera's brightly colored afghans from the summer on the floor against the lower bed frame, a few bottles of water and soda next to it, and some snacks and a bowl of popcorn on the mattress. Gwen settled into the pillows and patted the space next to her, inviting him to join her with a twinkle in her eyes. She pulled the afghan over their legs as Ben leaned back against her side, then put the computer over the loosely woven blanket.
"So what are we watching?" Ben asked, reaching for the popcorn bowl.
Gwen uncharacteristically ducked her head before she replied, which was weird because they mostly liked the same kind of movies. Why would she act funny about that question?
"Um… I thought we'd try something out of our ordinary." she said nervously. "Just to stay out of a rut. You know?" Now he knew something was up. What did she mean?
"What did you get, Dweeb?" he asked, trying to keep a neutral tone of voice.
"City of Angels?" What should have been a statement came out as a hesitant question with hunched shoulders. "You know, the story about an angel who becomes human because he fell in love with a woman doctor?"
"A chick flick?! Seriously?!"
"IT'S NOT…" she started to argue, then looked sheepishly at him. "Yeah. That's what it is. … I thought of it after we danced to Iris. I saw it with Daddy in a theater, it was really good!" Her eyes got a hopeful look; obviously she figured the memory of that dance would convince him. His eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it, which must have made her think he was going to complain. Before he could her eyes fell and she gave in.
"We don't have to watch it if you really hate it." she said dejectedly. "I have another movie, too."
The look in her eyes…
Ben had to actively force back the cringe that started when he saw the abject disappointment and hurt that clouded Gwen's usually lively emerald eyes, and the way her shoulders sagged. It was bad enough that his inadvertent scowl made her think he wasn't thrilled about a romantic movie, he couldn't add to her hurt with a reaction like that.
He glanced at all the things she did to make a private movie theater - the cozy fort, soft and warm light, fresh popcorn and snacks so neither of them would have to get up during the movie. Everything to set the mood for a date that they otherwise couldn't do. They could have watched a movie from the dining booth, but she did something special instead.
Ben thought back to his conversation with Paul about the older boy's supposedly questionable choice of music that turned out to be a concession to his girlfriend. Adding tunes that Sheila liked to a cassette Paul kept in his car, and not just for when she was with him - his friend played the songs without worrying about who might hear them, even if they were so unlike his usual style. This was what the blonde teenager meant when he told Ben he needed to include music Gwen liked into his routine.
Between that and knowing this amazing, sweet girl snuggled against him did all that preparation just to have some special time with him almost overwhelmed him. Seeing her look sad because she thought he didn't like the idea of a romantic movie, and still offer to watch something else….
There was no way he was going to be that clueless and self-centered!
"Hey!" he said quietly, and waited for her to look up at him. "You don't have to do that. You caught me by surprise with all this…" he pointedly looked at their surroundings, then looked back into her eyes. "I'll watch whatever you want to."
The smile started on her lips and lit up those beautiful green eyes, and before the situation could get any mushier - not that that bothered him right now, but he did have a reputation he didn't want to completely demolish all at once - he leaned in to her and kissed her gently. Just as he hoped, she kissed him back, closing her eyes for a moment or three before pulling back with that awesome smile of hers.
"Thank you, Doofus!"
His heart skipped along as she started the movie and slumped down into his lap so he could wrap his arms around her.
A little under two hours later, Ben decided watching this particular chick flick with Gwen definitely counted as a date. A romantic one. And … just, wow! Definitely not staying in a rut, movie wise!
"Well, what did you think?" Gwen asked tentatively as the closing credits started scrolling by. Unlike watching other movies, they snuggled mostly quietly during this one. Ben's typical sarcasm was mostly too out of place for this show. Gwen sniffled a bit and buried her face in his chest during a couple particularly emotional scenes, leaving his sweatshirt damp when she picked her head back up. At first he was about to panic, afraid that she would cry the way she did after Kenny's funeral and he didn't know what to do to make her pain stop. But this was different - his Dweeb was sad but not really hurt, and holding her close and kissing the top of her head turned out to be the right thing.
Gwen put the computer at her side and twisted around in his arms so she could see his face. Her eyes were brimming, but she wasn't sad now …
Ben hesitated a second, then decided he could tell her the truth. She started this, after all. "That was awful!"
"What?!" she replied forcefully, sitting up with an entirely different emotion than from a second ago when she had been leaning against his chest. "How can you say that?! That was a great love story!"
"Yeah, if you say so, except for the part where she dies! After he's given up being an angelfor her! And then he can't even be there to take her to heaven!" Ben glared at the computer next to her. He surprised himself at how strongly he reacted. He didn't want to imagine what the guy felt at giving up his powers - he'd heard about how angels were stronger and better than humans - for the chance to feel human love, only to have that stolen by a sudden, cruel death.
Even if they both hadn't lived through an uncomfortably similar experience a few months ago, that ending was just… Ben groped for the right word.
Tragic.
How was that romantic?
Sure, the rest of the story had been OK, even grossly funny at least once. Not that he'd 'fess up to that with anyone besides the girl he was holding, even if she was currently glaring daggers at him.
Gwen loved it, though. Even when scenes made her sniffle on the verge of actually crying! The way she snuggled into him as the movie played was exactly what he wanted to happen. Everything in the situation fit with his past experience with romantic stories, from the movies his Mom picked out that he'd had to sit through with his Dad over the years. The ones that ended up with his parents cuddled together remarkably similar to how he and his Dweeb were, now that he thought about it. Suddenly he got why Dad never objected to Mom's sappy movies that Ben made a point of gagging over.
Except for that ending. It was awful to him, but she liked it! Despite the tear or two that leaked out of her eyes that she rubbed away against his jersey. Just like his Mom did during their family movie nights.
He didn't get that!
Girls!
The hard glare in Gwen's eyes softened at his explanation. "Well, yeah. That part was pretty sad." A shiver went down his back as she rested a hand on his chest, absently moving a finger back and forth. She gave him a soft, reassuring smile. "But that's the point of tragic love stories. It's just like the Shakespeare tragedies we studied in English this year."
Ben couldn't help the quick eye roll and snort he did from hearing that. Leave it to the nerd to somehow relate school to whatever situation they were in. He also couldn't stop the return smile he gave back. That was his Dweeb! Just one of the many things he loved about her.
"But besides the ending, did you like it?" she asked earnestly.
"Eh. The whole thing wasn't awful."
"You're so full of it, Doofus! I felt you laughing at the funny parts. And saw you tearing up! More than once!"
"My eyes were watering because of the mold and stuff coming off these blankets. These things haven't been out of the closet in years!" He grumbled. "And seeing that other angel's bare butt almost made me hurl!" The middle aged man was a good actor, but he could have done without seeing the out of shape guy run buck naked into the ocean like that!
Gwen just giggled. "You liked it!"
"I… I tolerated it." Ben said smugly, thinking this was a perfect use of that word. He didn't notice that his girlfriend had stopped tracing circles on his chest with her finger and moved her hand into attack position.
"Nuh uh. You so liked it" she said through a grin and poked the finger in his ribs.
"Did not," he tried to swat her hand away, but she turned her body to pin him against the bunk frame.
"Did too!" She almost yelled, as the grin got bigger and her eyes took on a playful gleam. That was the only warning he got before the poking finger turned into a spear digging into his side. She brought the rest of her now weaponized fingers into the attack, mercilessly tickling him as he burst out in involuntary laughter.
"Come on! Admit it!" she demanded as her fingers danced over his ribs.
"NO! I didn't! … Stop!"
"Admit it!" she repeated, bringing her other hand into play as he squirmed desperately, trying to make the attack stop. She had gotten too good at this game!
"ALL RIGHT!" he could barely gasp between laughing fits. Ben thrashed wildly to stop the oh so wonderful torture, but she never gave an inch, running her fingers up to his arm pits and digging in before gliding back below his ribs. The evil grin she started the attack with turned into her own happy laughter as he fell away from the bed frame, dragging her down with him. His hands were finally free to defend himself, and he flipped positions so she was on her back with him half lying against her, propped up by one arm as the other brought his hand to her side for a counter attack.
"Don't you..!" Gwen shrieked between giggles and laughter explosions as he mirrored her tactics, while she kept digging one hand into his side as the other flailed at his chest. Their twisting and squirming kept bumping the bed frame and feet banged into the wall where the blankets were hooked halfway up. The combined vibrations finally made the blankets come loose, and they fell down on the two almost hysterical tickle ninjas. The fort collapsed onto them, effectively ending the battle as Ben fell onto his girlfriend with his cheek against her shoulder. Both were breathing heavily as their giggles subsided, and Ben felt a far more pleasant sensation as Gwen wrapped her arms around him.
"You liked it!" she said quietly between deep breaths, getting the last word. Typical Dweeb!
Ben grinned and nodded his head so she could feel his answer. "Yeah." He laughed once. "Yeah, it was good."
"You mean for a chick flick?" she teased softly.
He moved the hand that had just been digging at her ribs up to caress her face with his loosely curled fingers before laying the palm of his hand on her cheek. She pressed against his palm, the skin of her face impossibly soft and smooth, and closed her eyes for a few seconds.
"No, Dweeb, it was good for a movie to watch with you. … Just don't expect me to do the angel thing, though."
She barely held back a snort. "As if I'd want you to! I'm not ready for the end of the world!"
Gwen squeezed her arms around him and kissed the top of his head. "Besides, I don't need an angel, Doofus. I have you!" she murmured as she rested her head against his and hummed softly.
"And a lot more movies like that one, now that you admitted to liking them!"
"Aw, man!" Ben groaned, partly because he knew she expected it.
He knew he'd pay for admitting it! Looks like Friday night movies were gonna be different from now on. Which, given how much he really did like watching this movie with her, however unexpectedly, wouldn't be all that bad.
Or maybe not. He smirked as a thought struck him - good thing she couldn't see it. The tease was right there, and he had to use it! "Yeah, well, only when I watch 'em with you! I'm pretty sure my parents will keel over in shock if they ever catch me watching something like that."
Instead of the playful and bitingly sarcastic counter he expected, though, Gwen stopped her happy noise and lay completely still for an uncomfortable moment, not even breathing. He felt her arms and shoulders sag before she turned underneath him onto her stomach with her hands clasped in front of her chin. He lifted himself off her back with the blanket still partly covering his head as he wondered what just went wrong. Why did she react like this to what he just said?
"Gwen? … " he said uncertainly. "Hey, Dweeb, what's wrong? What did I do?"
She sighed before answering. "Nothing. It's not you, Doofus. It's just…" She sounded miserable at whatever made her mood shift so abruptly. It tore at his heart but he didn't know how he could fix it.
"We can't do this when we get back home" she said in a quiet, sad voice.
"What? Watch a romantic movie? You know I was just joking about that?"
"I know you were. … But you're right anyway."
He scootched forward so his head would be next to hers, then lay back down on his left side, halfway on the floor and halfway over her side with his right arm across her back. He put his left arm next to hers so he could rest his cheek on them and see her face. For a terrifying second he thought she'd turn away from him, but she shifted to be tighter against him.
"And we can't do this, or most of the stuff we've been doing all weekend, and I…" she sniffled as a tear rolled down her cheek. "And I want to keep doing it!" she whispered, as if saying it out loud would make the dream end.
"It's not enough to just see you and hang out with you. I need to feel you next to me! … What's wrong with that?" she asked almost to herself.
Ben shuddered as he let out his breath slowly. He'd been thinking the same thing since last night. It kept him awake, tossing and turning, and he longed to feel her pressed against him as they slept but he knew they couldn't do that again. Not after what Grandpa said. He loved to hear she felt the same way though, and felt awful that it made her sad.
He put his hand to her right shoulder and squeezed. "Huh. And here I thought you hated getting my cooties all over you" he murmured teasingly, shifting his hand off her shoulder and tapping his fingers across and down to the middle of her back. He grinned a little at how her back twitched as he did.
"Be-eenn!" she complained as she turned her head to face him.
"Listen, I know how you feel." He felt his face start to burn as he realized there was more than one way to interpret what he just said, especially in their present circumstances. So did she. God help them both if Paul ever heard anything like that! Or Michelle, for that matter!
"Doofus!" she giggled in spite of her sad mood.
That was better!
"I mean, I know what you mean! … And I know how you feel" He pressed the palm of his hand against the spot between her shoulder blades that had been exposed by that blue dress. He still remembered the warm, soft feel of her bare skin there as they danced. Her giggles stopped, and the dull, sad look in her eyes was fading. "I don't want to stop doing this, either. But since we can't, at least not like we have been, I've been memorizing what you feel like all weekend. I'll be playing that back in my mind for a long time!"
He moved his hand over her neck to caress the back of her head, lacing his fingers into her soft red hair. "That'll keep me going when we can't do stuff like this!"
To say he was happy at the way her emerald eyes gleamed as the bright smile grew on her face was a gross understatement, but he couldn't think of a better word as his heart stuttered a few beats.
"If that works for you, Doofus, then I guess I can do it too! Cootie infestation included!"
She kissed his forehead gently before pulling back with that smile for him. "I meant what I said about angels. I'll take you making me feel better over them any day!"
He smiled back at her. "Glad to hear it, Dweeb! … Here's something else I want to remember…" he murmured as he moved his face close to hers, pressing his lips into hers for a tender and hopefully memorable kiss. He wouldn't be forgetting it, that was for sure! The way she kissed him back made him think she wouldn't either.
As they pulled back Ben had another thought. "You know, we can get together besides on Friday nights."
"What? How?! It's not like I can tell Mom and Dad I want them to drive me to your house whenever. Neither can you." Which was true, as long as their parents stayed suspicious. But…
"Who said anything about driving? My parents still sleep like bricks, like they did when we went out at night before summer."
"What are you saying, Ben? That you'll come to my house after we're supposed to be asleep? How are you gonna…"
Ben's lips twitched before curling into a wide grin. It didn't happen often, but watching her catch up with one of his ideas was always a blast! He could see it in her eyes first when she did. The way they opened up a little wider before narrowing while she ran through the different ways to challenge it before arguing with him…
"You want me to use magic to fly to your house?"
"Why not? We used to do it all the time. I'd switch off with you if I could, but…" He wiggled his left arm under his head. "… the thing that let me do that is kinda hidden away." For now, he didn't say. If what Grandpa told them was true, though, he figured he'd be changing that sooner than later.
Gwen got a frown as she considered it. "But what would we do when I got there? We can't go out heroing, and it's too cold to get drinks even if Mr Smoothie stayed open late." The frown turned into a firm look. "You know I'm not going to sleep in your room." Especially not in his bed with him. He knew that. As much as he wished she could, there were way too many ways for that to go sideways.
He snorted at the thought. "Course not! But you could fly us somewhere nearby for a while. Or we can just sit outside my window." He gave her a half smile. "We've done that before. I remember a time when we just looked at the stars under a blanket and talked and stuff. I really liked that." Especially when she added kissing to the talking and popcorn fight! They both had figured out how to not think about what happened afterwards. At least when they were with each other. "The stars still look awesome, even in Bellwood."
Her stern look faded into a wistful smile. "Yeah, we could do that. And Mom and Dad do sleep soundly. … And I found a description for making a charm that shows a, sort of… false image? It makes you think you're seeing something that isn't there. It's pretty intricate, but I may be able to do it…" The smile morphed into a thoughtful look, eyebrows pinching together - her thinking face, he called it.
Ben grinned at her again. "Man, the more you get into magic the more I love it!"
"What if I can't do it?" She looked at him with a hint of self-doubt she'd never let anyone else see.
Ben shook his head. "You'll make it work. I know you can!"
His girlfriend gave him a grateful, pleased look, as the corners of her lips started to turn up. And there was the proud and slightly bashful smile he loved to see! When Gwen set her mind to do something, she'd get it done, and he just saw that determination in her eyes and the slight nod to her head.
She relaxed and let her head rest completely on the floor with a short sigh and a contented look, studying him without saying anything more. Ben did the same, happy to use her arm as a pillow, which was surprisingly soft at the crook of her elbow. He felt secure and comfortably warm snuggled against her, covered by blankets with his arm across her back, and the slow, steady rhythm of her breathing lulled him to a drowsy state. He closed his eyes with a soft sigh, not quite asleep, aware only of her and happy that his Dweeb felt that way too. Even if she wasn't able to make any late night visits, memories of times like this over the weekend would help keep their connection going.
- G -
"Gwen? Ben?" Grandpa's muffled voice carried through the effects of the sound dampening charm, which meant he had to be yelling pretty loud. Gwen frowned as her sleep-fuzzy brain began to recognize the sound that interrupted her nap and the pleasant dream of snuggling with her Doofus the last time she stayed overnight at his house. She barely felt a short burst of warm air on the bridge of her nose and opened her eyes to see what could do that, only to be surprised to see his face right there less than an inch in front of hers, eyes closed with a trace of a smile on the lips she remembered kissing right before…
It wasn't just a dream! Gwen giggled softly as she realized they fell asleep while they were kissing! She didn't think that was even possible, but then again this was the Doofus. He was good at proving the impossible really wasn't.
"You're still back there, right?!" A bit louder, but with a humorous pitch. A good sign - Grandpa could be loud when he was happy, but when he lost his sense of humor life was at best uncomfortable regardless of his volume.
Gwen sighed softly, focused on committing this moment to memory - the warm feeling of Ben's arm across her back, his body pressed against hers from his waist to his shoeless feet, more soft puffs of warm, humid air that played on her face when he exhaled. His relaxed face with an almost Mona Lisa like expression that hinted that he was having a good dream for once. Her lips curled into a smile at that.
She had to remember this, the physical and emotional feelings that could still make her a little uneasy even though she couldn't get enough of them. She could hardly bear the thought of this not being part of her daily life. If they couldn't actually be this close together after this trip ended, she would at least have memories like this to remind her of the the times when they were, like her boyfriend said he would - the feeling of being safe and comfy in her Doofus' arms. The feeling of leaning against each other, and playing together, and quietly studying across from each other so they could steal affectionate glances, of sharing happiness and helping each other get over frustrations. Of trusting each other with the little as well as the big fears and hurts and joys and plans they had.
This, all of it and more, was what that seemingly simple word in the dictionary she kept reading and stumbling over meant!
Of being loved. And showing she loved him.
She wished it would go on forever…
"HEY KIDS!" Almost as loud as without the charm - he was really screaming! And now she heard that tone of annoyance edging into his voice. So much for keeping that moment going!
Ben's whole body jerked, startled awake by the explosive roar. Gwen scrambled from underneath him to get the charm from the foot of her bunk and turn it off. She heard Ben's head hit the carpet with a muffled thump.
"Ow!"
"Sorry!" She cringed and hunched her shoulders in apology. "I had to turn off the charm. Grandpa is starting to sound upset…"
The old man wasn't fully annoyed, but he was as close as both wanted to push it. They'd been on the receiving end of the old Air Force officer being upset a couple times, and that was more than enough! Gwen shuddered at the memory of the one time he got really angry, after that awful fight when Ben 'decorated' the tree with all her clothes - and hid Grandpa's, and all the towels and sheets, and everything else that could possibly be used to cover up - leaving her stranded with nothing to wear after a shower. The cuts and bruises they gave and got because of it were nothing compared to their grandfather's fury as he chewed them out at what they had been ready to do to each other with the Watch and magic.
Even that was trivial compared to what happened next. The shock at the news about her Mom, the frantic way Ben gathered everything back up so they could rush back to Bellwood, the agonizing drive home. The horrible way her Mother looked when she ran into their house. The funeral, and standing next to the empty crib with Ben at her side… and the first time she felt secure in his non-alien arms.
That was the second worst homecoming she ever experienced! If it hadn't been for the boy who was so unbearable and obnoxious only a day and a half before it, impossibly becoming so caring and strong when she needed it, she probably wouldn't have had to face the worst one. But then she may never have gotten the boyfriend she heard shout back.
"Yeah, we're coming! Sorry Grandpa!"
The boy who picked himself up off the floor, kneeling back on his heels in the place they had just been contentedly sleeping in a puppy pile. He rubbed the carpet burn he got on his left cheek after she abruptly pulled the arm he was using for a pillow away in her rush to unsilence the charm.
Gwen knelt in front of him and put her hand to his scraped cheek. "Sorry about that, Doofus…" she apologized again, then sent a wave of mana through her hand to sooth his skin. After a few moments the pink aura faded, leaving his face unblemished, as smooth and soft as always.
Ben pressed his cheek into her palm and murmured "Geez, I didn't know how much I missed this." as he closed his eyes.
"What? Getting a scrape, the healing, or just my hand?"
He opened his eyes and looked deeply into hers, the green of his irises a bright emerald color. "Yes!" he said as he nuzzled her palm.
Causing her brain to short circuit, able to form only one thought. Kiss him! Do it now while you have the chance!
So she did, kissing him passionately and urgently because soon she wouldn't be able to even hug him without disapproving stares, bringing up her other hand so she was holding both cheeks. Her Doofus wrapped his arms around her shoulders and head, angling his head and kissing her back in a way she never dreamed of and never wanted to lose…
Gwen broke it off reluctantly as her rational thinking started back up. "Sorry Ben" she almost whispered, "I couldn't help it! … We should go see what Grandpa wants before he goes all serious Plumber colonel on us again!"
Ben grinned back at her. "I'll never complain when you do that, but I guess you're right. He can get pretty cranky sometimes." He stood up, letting his hands slip down to his sides and holding them out to her. Gwen took them and let him hoist her up, then they walked hand in hand towards the driver's seat.
"Good, you are awake! I was afraid I'd have to carry you both into the house!" Grandpa joked as they got to the front of the RV. "Although I certainly can't carry you both at the same like I used to."
He glanced over his right shoulder at them. "We're about fifteen minutes from your house, Pumpkin. Your parents will be there about the time we arrive, Ben. Then we're all going to have dinner." He looked back at the road. "You guys did get your homework done, right?"
"Uh huh" they replied together.
Grandpa made a relieved sound. "Good. They'll be happy to hear that. … Go on and get your stuff together. We're just about home."
"OK Grandpa" Gwen said tonelessly. She turned and went back to their bunks, Ben following behind.
He didn't say anything as they made their way to the back of the motor home. They each grabbed a blanket and started folding them, the silence only broken by the sound of the tires rolling over the road to their houses and their regular lives.
Ben finished the blanket he was folding, dropped it on Gwen's bunk and picked up the last one. Before he could get started, Gwen tossed the one she finished on top of his and grabbed the free end of the one Ben was holding. Their uneasy silence continued as they made the first couple of folds.
When she handed the blanket to him to finish, Ben caught her eyes with a concerned look and asked hesitantly "You all right, Dweeb?"
She looked back at him for a moment and let out a short sigh as she crossed her arms across her stomach.
"Grandpa said we're almost home, but it doesn't feel like it."
Ben shrugged "Not like the last two days, anyway. But it is where we live. Where our parents are." He stuffed a few of his remaining unpacked things into his duffel bag.
Gwen let herself feel… not sad, really. She did miss her parents, and she was looking forward to telling her best friend a few of the less scandalous stories from the weekend on Monday at school. "I know. But home… "
She felt … disappointment, knowing she wouldn't see Ben's cute, sleepy grin when they woke up the next morning, or hear his irresistibly lame jokes during the day, or even be in the same place with him for days. Gwen wondered again what it would be like to have him in the same classes with her, or at least in the same school; hopefully he'd find out about his application to Arcadia after the holidays.
And she wouldn't be able to cuddle with her Doofus like they just had been. Not until at best Christmas, or maybe not until New Year's. That definitely didn't feel right.
But she wasn't going to let any of that ruin the weekend they just had. She had to let him know how much it meant to her…
"Home is where we are, together." She ducked her head, wondering if she might have said too much. "Is it ok for me to think that?"
Ben looked down at the floor and rubbed the back of his neck with a frown of concentration. "Mmmm, … No. … No, you can't think that, Dweeb."
"What?!" Gwen dropped her arms to her sides and couldn't hide the shock she felt. "Why not? What are you saying Ben?!" He wasn't walking back wanting to be with her because they'd soon be back with their family, was he?! Was he reconsidering being her boyfriend because it was getting harder to conceal from them? Her hero had never backed down from difficult situations before, but maybe this was too much to keep hiding? They hadn't ever talked about how they would handle it when their secret - any of them - was eventually discovered. Was the feared disapproval making him change his mind about them?
Ben gave her his mischievous smile and pulled her into a hug, arms around her waist. "Geez, let me finish! … You can't think that by yourself. It can't work that way. Lucky for you I know …" He deliberately cleared his throat.
"It's ok for us to think that." The smile morphed into a goofy grin. "There. Fixed it for you."
Gwen swatted his chest with a mock frown, hiding the flood of relief she felt. "Doofus! You know that's what I meant! … Why do you…"
"Sheesh, still can't let me finish!" Ben interrupted her, laughing gently and leaned in to kiss her the way she just did to him as she rested both palms on his chest. He must have known they didn't have much time left before Grandpa would park the not-Rustbucket, because he pulled away from her lips without letting go of her waist and he smiled at her again. The way he looked at her and hesitated for a second, it seemed he wanted to say something else.
"It's ok to tell each other once in a while, too."
Gwen smiled back at him. "You better!"
Yes, this is what love felt like. As often as not. It wasn't always as intense as when they were helping each other through an anxiety attack or terrifying nightmares. Or when she was sometimes almost overwhelmed with affection, with or without kisses and hugs. It was also a steadier, constant feeling when they were around each other - almost like wearing her most comfortable clothes right out of the dryer after a bath.
She could hardly wait for the special plans she had to finally tell him. They were perfect…
"And we can show each other, too!" She gave him one more quick kiss, then pulled back and rested her forehead against his. She moved her right hand to his cheek, and her boyfriend held her wrist with his left hand in an affectionate gesture.
They held each other steady as they felt the big RV make the final few turns onto Gwen's street, right before it stopped with a small lurch as Grandpa eased it to the curb in front of her house. They heard him shut off the motor and open the driver's door.
"Come on, you two. We're here."
Ben gave her the smile she loved, the one that always gave her a warm feeling. "As often as we can get away with!" he said quietly.
She took one last lingering look into his beautiful eyes as they unwrapped their arms from each other. They picked up their backpacks and duffel bags, and he gave her one last quick peck on the lips before they went back to their normal lives.
"Come on, Dweeb. We're home!" her Doofus said as he took her free hand and led her towards the motor home's side door.
Gwen took a slow breath and let it out with a soft, happy sigh. As long as he kept smiling at her like that she could handle anything.
It was good to be home!
.
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NOTES:
Songs I was listening to while writing this chapter
Why Can't This Be Love, Van Halen
Can't Fight This Feeling, REO Speedwagon
Sky Full of Stars, Coldplay?
Love Takes Time, Orleans
When I See You Smile, Bad English
I Wanna Hold Your Hand, Beatles