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Chapter 9: Reckless

"We're going after Azula."

Sokka was in the middle of taking a particularly big, satisfying bite of the stick of hippo-cow jerky one of the servants had brought him that morning. It stuck there, wonderfully hard to chew, as he stared back at the ever dour face of Fire Lord Zuko.

He tore off the piece, winced at the inevitable ache in his teeth, then swallowed.

"Um," Sokka began, looking around at the komodo rhino stable, where Appa stood quietly, grazing at some hay the servants had set out. He had wanted to stow the extra jerky in a pack on the saddle so he didn't forget it, but after that had been looking forward to a royal Fire Nation breakfast. "I thought we were going to be having a meeting or something about that. You know, get everyone's opinions."

"That's what I thought too," Toph noted, who had appeared next to one of the stable's wood supports. Her own pack was already on the saddle, and now she leaned against the post with arms folded.

Zuko, looking far less regal than the day before, already in his traveling clothes and having somehow escaped having any guards with him, scowled at them both. "We all know what has to happen. We can't afford any delays."

Sokka was about to reply, when suddenly someone shouldered past him, almost violently. He turned his head, expecting to see the stable boy—kid was starting to get a bit cheeky—but stopped when he saw Katara instead.

Katara had her bag slung over one shoulder, already packed and ready to go, and was headed in Appa's direction. However, she paused, glancing at Sokka over her shoulder. Her hair was frayed at the ends, the skin under her eyes dark with lack of sleep.

"Well?" she demanded. "Aren't you ready yet? We're leaving, and anyone not in the saddle in the next twenty minutes can just stay here."

With that friendly greeting, she went on, gripping the side of Appa's saddle and yanking herself up. She disappeared over the saddle lip.

Sokka rubbed the side of his head. "Great," he muttered, as he made his way out of the stable, followed by Toph and Zuko. "This is going to be such a fun trip."

"Maybe Twinkletoes can cheer her up," Toph suggested.

Sokka shook his head, taking another bite of the jerky and pointing the chewed off end at her. Mouth full, in a garbled voice he said, "When Kata'a—gets li' this—trust me—not even an enti'e airship fulla bags of pure 'ope and chick-kittens would cheer 'er up." He swallowed and added, "On the bright side, this morning I was digging around in my bag and was just able to find... this!"

With a dramatic flourish, he whipped an object from inside his tunic, holding it up to the morning light.

"What is it?" Toph asked. "Feels like an old pipe."

"Not just any old pipe," Sokka said proudly. "The secret to my detecting genius. We'll track Azula down in no time with this."

Zuko grunted. He didn't seem to be paying attention, eyes scanning the courtyard absently. "I'll be right back," he said. "We'll meet back at the saddle in... twenty minutes."

Sokka watched him stride away, then sighed. He held up the pipe to eye level. "No one appreciates what you bring to the group," he said. "But I do."

Toph folded her arms again, tapping a finger against her forearm. "Is it really that strong?" she asked. "This bloodbending thing, I mean."

It occurred to Sokka that Toph had never actually experienced bloodbending herself. At Hama's village, she'd arrived with the villagers to capture Hama after Katara had her pretty much subdued. And they'd both been fast asleep last night when everything went down.

Sokka lowered the pipe, serious for a moment. "When we fought Hama before, she was able to make me draw my sword. I almost attacked Aang, before Katara stepped in. Neither of us could fight it at all."

Toph faced ahead, sightless eyes unmoving. "Six of them," she said slowly. "This really is going to be dangerous, isn't it?"

"At least six," Sokka said. "Good news is they can only do it on the night of the full moon, so we'll try to find them before that."

Toph frowned. "You know, I don't think we're gonna find her. Not until she wants to be found. But I guess we gotta try."

Sokka wasn't used to such pessimism from Toph, but even though he wouldn't say it, a part of him had to agree. Azula was tricky. She was the only person he knew who had taken on the Avatar and two of his friends at once without her bending, and still somehow made it out without a scratch.

"So, Sokka's your name, right? My favorite prisoner used to mention you all the time..."

Sokka had been turning the bubble pipe over in his hand, but now his fingers paused. His jaw tightened for a moment, as though the lingering taste of jerky in his mouth was suddenly sour.

However, at last he sighed, stowing the pipe away again. "I guess we better get going if we're going to make that twenty minutes."

Maybe he couldn't entirely blame Katara. Crazy Princesses—they were enough to make anyone crazy.

The sun was rising outside, and yet the light was not yet high enough over the caldera to reach the dark interior of the palace.

And so as Zuko made his way down the long, high corridors, they were still only lit with torchlight, and with each step his shadow flickered along the floor. His eyes scanned every nook and cranny, automatically seeking out enemies. He almost wished he hadn't sent away his guards, but he wanted Suki and the others to focus on his family and the palace, and he would be gone soon anyway.

Over the course of the night he had come to two decisions. The first was that they would go after Azula, and immediately—it was their only choice really. He didn't know if they could find her before the next full moon, but they needed to give themselves every chance to try. The second was, against his every instinct and better judgment, to grant Mother's request.

Much as he needed his mother to be safe, for himself, for Ikem, for Kiyi—he couldn't lock her up and take the decision away from her. For years Father had corralled and controlled her, and Zuko refused to do the same. And he couldn't deny that, unlikely as it might seem, Mother more than anyone else might well be able to help Azula in a way no one else could.

He shook his head, trying to settle his jittery nerves. Realizing he had come to a stop right on the corner to his mother's room, he took a breath, then raised a foot to start forward.

"So you are going after Azula."

Zuko froze midstep. Then, slowly, he turned.

Mai had materialized in the corridor just behind him, hands folded in sleeves as ever.

"...Yeah," he said at last.

She glanced at the turn of the corridor beyond. "And you're going to say goodbye to your mother."

Zuko fingered the hem of his traveling tunic. "Actually, she's… coming with us."

Mai stiffened. Her eyes went wide before narrowing to slits. "You can't be serious."

Zuko turned away, facing back toward the side wall. "She wants to see Azula again, now that she has her memories back. She asked to come."

"You told me yourself that when you went to find your mother, Azula was trying to kill her."

Zuko kept his eyes staring straight ahead. "...I know."

Mai half turned away from him in disgust. "This is beyond stupid, Zuko, even for you. Stupid and reckless." She paused, then added, "Besides, if I'm not staying here to protect your family, then why am I staying here?"

Zuko hesitated.

Mai glared down the opposite corridor, not looking at him. "Right. I guess you don't trust me. That's nothing new."

She turned her back on him.

Zuko's hand shot out after her, wanting to reach out and hold her there. However, he held back, only speaking instead.

"No, I trust you, Mai. More than anyone. And I'm not trying to protect you. It's just—I really will feel better if there are people here I can rely on to protect the palace. Kiyi and Ikem will still be here, and my uncle… they could still be Azula's targets. I need to know there's someone here to keep them safe."

Mai was silent for a long moment, arms folded, shoulders rigid. Then finally she slumped. "Just so you know, I… wouldn't." Her eyes met his. "I wouldn't try to kill her. If I promised you I wouldn't." She glanced away, sighing. "But, maybe it's for the best. You do already have the Avatar and all his little friends. And if I had to sit in a bison saddle all day and put up with all your cutesy banter, I'd probably want to cut my ears off."

Zuko dipped his head, more glad for her understanding than he could have ever expressed. "...Thank you, Mai."

She watched him for a moment, expression unreadable. Then she turned away from him.

He stared at her back, the way her usual black vest extended out to sharp points, making her shoulders look wider than they were. It had long been the fashion of the Fire Nation nobility and military, to make oneself look more impressive, intimidating. Mai was, in some ways, the very picture of what Fire Nation nobility was supposed to be—often outwardly complacent, yet quietly dangerous in a way that people just knew without her ever needing to prove it. But there was more to her than that. She cared, even if she didn't always seem to want other people to know it.

"Wait!" Zuko blurted suddenly.

He reached out again, and this time he took hold of the edge of her long sleeve, holding her in place.

She half turned back, and his face was suddenly burning. He swallowed, then forced himself to continue.

"I just..." He licked his suddenly dry lips. "I've been... wanting to talk."

Mai watched him, expression as usual impossible to read. Neither hostile, nor encouraging.

"About us," he added. "I want to know... what's going on. With us."

When Mai still didn't answer, he plowed on, "I mean, you've broken up with Kei Lo. And you have to know I still—but it just feels like—I mean—"

Mai still didn't reply.

His eyes fell. "I mean, is it that you just... don't feel the same... any...?"

Mai sighed deeply and turned her back to him, pulling her sleeve from his slack grip. She gripped her own arm with the other.

"Zuko, I..." She sighed. In a rasping voice so low he had to strain to hear it, she said, "I do feel the same. Always."

She turned to look at him over her shoulder. "But you decided to let Azula escape. Even though she could come back and kill you. I can't... if I let myself care about you any more than I already do..."

"Azula's not trying to kill me," Zuko said, with some surprise. He had forgotten this wasn't something he had never told her, another secret he ought to have shared a long time ago. It almost felt anticlimactic now. "She—well, she wants to push me into being a Fire Lord more like she would have been. That's what she told me when I fought her at the crypt, anyway."

Mai's eyebrows rose slightly, surprised. Then her mouth tightened. "...In a way, that's even worse."

Zuko didn't say anything. He wanted to reassure Mai that things would all be okay. But he couldn't.

Mai was silent, before at last she continued on down the long, shadowy hall. Zuko watched her go for a moment, and all the regrets he usually tried not to think about, for what could have been, what he could have done back then but didn't, pressed down on his head. He finally shook his head, turning back in the direction of his mother's room. He closed his eyes, and breathed.

Suddenly he felt arms encircle him from behind, billowing sleeves around him.

"Come back safely," Mai whispered in his ear. "If you do, then... then maybe..."

She pulled away then. And when he turned again toward the hall, she was gone.

Hardly able to breathe, his heart hammering in his throat, but with more hope than he'd felt in weeks—he turned for the corridor of his mother's room.

"Money, check. Food rations, check. Sleeping rolls, check. Momo, check. Okay guys, I think we're ready."

Sokka, along with the others, was standing in front of Appa in the open courtyard just outside the palace. With each item he flicked his fingers, as though marking off an invisible list. Aang had just finished air lifting the last of the bags onto the saddle, and Toph was already settled in her usual spot, hands folded behind her head.

Katara, who had been pacing irritably next to Appa's flank, had circled around to Appa's opposite side as though to get away from Sokka's jokes.

"Wait," said Toph from the saddle. "Where's Zuko?"

Sokka flicked a speck off his pipe, polishing it affectionately with a dragon-embroidered cloth he'd managed to snatch from a drawer in his room. "No idea. It's been twenty-three minutes already, maybe we should just leave him."

"Come on, Sokka," said Aang. "I'm sure he's just doing Fire Lord-y stuff. A few more minutes won't hurt anything."

Sighing, Sokka stowed the pipe away in a pouch at his belt. Draping a casual arm over Aang's shoulders and dropping his voice to barely above a whisper he said, "I know that, Aang. And you know that. But someone is about ready to set the place on fire, and if we're going to be sitting in a saddle with her for eight hours I'd rather things be fire-free."

In case Aang didn't know who he meant, Sokka pointed very obviously toward Appa, where Katara stood on the other side, muttering words to herself that sounded like she could have only picked them up from pirates.

Aang glanced back that way, and his shoulders slumped slightly, corners of his mouth pulling down with concern. He started to say something, but just then Sokka heard a crunch behind them, and he turned to see Zuko approaching, his face as ever set with determination.

"Finally!" Sokka exclaimed. "We're on a tight schedule, so we better... better..."

He trailed off as he noticed that Zuko wasn't alone. For once Suki and Ty Lee weren't there—they would be staying at the palace to ensure things were secure. Sokka had already seen Suki earlier, though she had seemed subdued and distracted, and the goodbye had felt inadequate somehow. The figure standing behind Zuko now was tall and willowy, with an air regal, yet sad.

Sokka wouldn't have thought anything of it—of course Zuko's mom would want to see him off before he went gallivanting across the world again—if not for her plain traveling clothes, along with the side pack over one shoulder.

"Uh—" Aang began. He glanced around at everyone else as if to see if they'd been expecting this, then rubbed the back of his neck. "So—are we... having an extra passenger then?"

"She wanted to come," Zuko said tersely. "I said she could." From his tone, it was obvious there would be no further discussion on the topic. He passed Aang and Sokka quickly, his mother following close behind him. She kept her eyes slightly down, one hand nervously gripping the strap of her pack.

"Uh, okay," Sokka said. "Sure, Zuko, but are you sure that's such a good—"

"What?"

Katara had suddenly appeared back around Appa's side. For a minute she stood there, fists quivering at her sides. At last, she took a slow, steadying breath.

"Zuko," she began in a voice of deadly calm. "Would you—come over here for a second?"

Before Zuko could respond, Toph, who was busy cleaning out an ear with her pinkie, broke in from the saddle. "I think what sugarqueen is trying to say is—really, Zuko? We're chasing down psycho, fire-breathing princess, and you want to bring your mom along?"

Toph leaped down, and when she landed, the entire courtyard seemed to tremble beneath her feet. Without turning, she jabbed a finger straight at the woman's face. "We don't need adult supervision, lady. You'd just be in the way."

Zuko angrily knocked her arm aside. "If you have a problem with her coming along, you can take it up with me."

Toph opened her mouth to answer, but Zuko's mother spoke up first, her voice quiet and calm.

"No, Zuko. They deserve an explanation."

She stepped forward and raised her eyes.

"My name is Ursa," she said. "Zuko's mother. You helped him find me when my memory was gone—you will all always have my eternal gratitude for that."

"Uh—no problem," Aang said.

Toph shrugged. "Not all of us."

Ursa continued, "I understand that by coming with you, I will be no more than a burden and a liability. I know I have nothing to offer you."

She looked at each of them in turn. "However, I have asked Zuko to let me come with you. I know Azula has caused you all a great deal of pain and heartache—I am so sorry. But that is why I would like to see her, perhaps help her if I can. Azula is my daughter, and so I have made this perhaps selfish request of Zuko."

Ursa bowed deeply, hands folded together. "I apologize for the inconvenience, and I will do my best not to trouble you unduly. I hope you will all feel free to carry on as normal."

Reassured that there was to be no adult interference, Toph waved a hand. "Oh well. Guess if Zuko doesn't care, it doesn't matter to me."

Sokka studied Zuko's mother again. It would be a little awkward, but then, it might be nice to have someone new around to reuse all his old jokes on. He always found it such a shame some of his best material only got used once.

"Okay, fine," said Sokka. "Well then—which spot on the saddle do you want? I usually sit at the back by the sleeping rolls. Katara usually takes the front. Toph—"

"Wait."

Katara was still standing in the same place next to Appa, her shoulders tense. "I think—" she began. "I think this shouldn't just be Zuko's decision. This affects all of us. So—I think we should put it to a vote." She carefully didn't look at Ursa as she spoke.

Zuko spun on her, fists clenched at his side. "I don't think—"

"Actually," Sokka interrupted. "I think Katara has a point. We really should all get a say." He glanced around at everyone, then produced the pipe from his belt again—much as he had paid for it, it really hadn't seen enough use. "Okay, we know Zuko says yes." He pointed the dragon-head end of the pipe at Toph. "Toph?"

Toph laced her hands behind her head. "Like I said. If Zuko's fine with it, it doesn't matter to me." She jabbed a finger at Ursa. "I just better not hear one word about how dirty my clothes are. I like them this way."

Ursa smiled. "I am perfectly fine with dirt. Mud, even. Mud in particular brings to mind fond memories for me."

"Okay," Sokka said. "So that's two for. We know Katara's going to vote no, so we'll go to me next." Sokka rubbed his chin, studying Ursa for a moment. In her traveling clothes, she looked sturdier than she typically did in the Fire Nation royal silks, more like she had as a humble peasant woman in the small village of Hira'a. So long as she didn't think she was going to be protecting them or telling them what was dangerous or not, there shouldn't be a problem.

Sokka shrugged. "Gotta go with Toph on this one. If it's that important to you and Zuko's given the okay on it, well, that's good enough for me."

Sokka clapped his hands together. "Okay, now that that's settled, let's go ahead and—"

"Wait," Katara interrupted. "Aang still hasn't voted."

Sokka sighed, and turned slowly. He was standing closer to Katara than he had all morning, and now that he studied her face, he realized she actually looked a lot worse than he'd thought at first. The dark circles beneath her eyes were even more pronounced than the sleepless days they'd spent running from Azula's drill, and a hint of menace seemed to lurk beneath the surface.

Sokka placed a consoling hand on her shoulder, half turning her away from the others. "Katara," he said, as kindly as he could, "maybe you don't know how this voting thing works. There are five of us. Three of us have voted. That's it, decision made."

Katara threw off his hand roughly and crossed over to stand beside Aang. She carefully placed her hands on each of his shoulders. "Aang is the Avatar," she said in a voice suddenly sickly sweet. "His vote should count more than anyone's."

Sokka had always thought of himself as stubborn. While their dad had been away fighting, he'd gathered the boys of the village together every single day for warrior training, in spite of the fact that they never so much as played with the toy spears he made for them when he told them to. He practiced day in and day out with his weapons and hunting, even without someone to help him refine his technique. But if Sokka was being honest, he'd always known Katara was the real stubborn one of the family. Once she dug in and things still didn't go her way, things could turn ugly fast.

Aang glanced around nervously, seeing that all attention was on him. "Um."

Sokka rolled his eyes in defeat, then folded his arms, tapping an impatient finger against his forearm. "All right then. Well, mighty Avatar, bridge between worlds, wielder of all elements, great vegetarian—what's your decree?"

Aang's eyes darted to Ursa and Zuko, then back to Katara, who was regarding him with an expression that was somehow at once both hopeful and threatening.

Sokka said out of the corner of his mouth to Ursa, "Might as well start putting your stuff back in the palace now."

Aang looked at Ursa again, who had frozen, her hand still clutched to her bag strap. At last, his eyes settled on Katara.

"I'm sorry, but—if Zuko says it's okay... It sounds like this is something important. I don't want to get in the way of that. I'm sorry."

For a moment, Katara looked ready to explode. She swept over all of them with bloodshot eyes, vibrating like a scorpion-bee.

At last she spit through her teeth, "Fine." Then, turning her back on all of them, she hauled herself up over Appa's leg, disappearing onto the saddle.

Ursa's eyes followed her as she went, then dropped back to the courtyard stone.

"I'm so sorry," she murmured. "The last thing I want is to be a source of discord."

Sokka sighed deeply and waved a dismissive hand. "Don't mind her, she'll get over it. Probably."

"And if she doesn't," Toph noted, "on the bright side, at least it means the trip's gonna be oogie-free."

Sokka hadn't considered this angle, but now he stroked his chin. "That is a definite upside. There really is always a silver lining."

Sokka glanced at Aang, to see if he was going to offer some protest at this, but his worried eyes were fixed on the saddle.

As Zuko moved ahead and offered his mother his hand to help her up, Sokka reached over to grip Aang's shoulder. "It's okay," he said in a voice too low for the others to hear. "Katara... well, you know how she gets. She'll come around. It wouldn't have been right for us to try to decide for Zuko and his mother what she can and can't do. She is Azula's mother."

Aang sighed heavily. "I know. It's just..."

He shook his head, and with a wave of his staff, propelled himself up onto Appa's head with a puff of air.

Sokka realized he was still holding the pipe, and stowed it away again for safekeeping. He reached out to grip Appa's fur to pull himself up, but seeing something green out of the corner of his eye, glanced back over his shoulder, at the pillars at the edge of the courtyard. A figure stood there, in the shadows.

Sokka blinked, then smiled and approached.

Suki, as always, in her usual Kyoshi armor, her warrior's makeup applied with practiced precision.

"And here, I thought you said I wasn't going to see you again before we left." Sokka deftly slipped around the side of the pillar, pulling her with him, so they wouldn't be visible from the saddle.

"I know," Suki said, glancing away. "I should be back on patrol. But I was just passing, and I thought—well, it could be a while, couldn't it."

"It could," Sokka agreed. "But, maybe you could give me something to take with me. A memory." Casually, he leaned closer, lips puckered, giving her a hint.

However, Suki still wasn't looking at him. She was staring off, toward the palace wall, though she didn't seem to see it. She gripped the hilt of her sword, as always hanging from her belt. "I was… going to give you this to take." She lifted the sword slightly. "To use, since you don't have yours. But—I guess it might be worse than nothing."

At her tone, Sokka settled back to get a good look at her for the first time. Her eyes were strangely distant, an odd disquiet there that made him feel unsettled too.

Before he could ask any questions, what she was thinking or feeling, she said, "Are you… going to be okay? I mean, how do you fight something you can't see? Can't… control?"

Sokka sighed, shaking his head. "We can't. That's why we want to find them before the next full moon." He glanced back toward the saddle. "But you don't need to worry. Whatever happens, we have Katara. She can play their game."

Sokka looked back in time to see Suki's eyes dart away quickly. Her gloved hand clenched around the hilt of the sword again. "Yeah," she said hesitantly after a moment. "Right."

Sokka placed a hand over hers, squeezing it lightly. "We'll be okay," he said. He glanced down at the sword. "Do you still want me to take that?"

Suki shook her head. "If something happened, I'd feel like it was my fault. You have all your other weapons anyway. They'd be less dangerous."

Sokka frowned. "My weapons are dangerous. Did you not hear any of the stories I've told you about Master Boomerang?"

Suki looked back at him for the first time, and laughed. Some of the heaviness in her expression seemed to lift. "Oh, sorry. I would never insult Master Boomerang, make sure you tell him I apologize."

Sokka, arms folded, nodded once. "I'm sure he'll forgive you this once. He has a generous heart." He added moodily, "Are you going to give me a memory to take or not?"

Suki laughed again. "Keep whining, and maybe I won't."

Then suddenly her arms were around his neck, and before he had time to react, her lips were pressed against his. His hand automatically went to her waist, as he leaned into her.

There came a sound from the saddle—what Sokka guessed to be Katara's best imitation of a tiger's growl—and reluctantly Sokka pulled away.

"See you when we get back," he said, grinning. "You'll have to get some time off from Zuko again."

"I will," she said with a smile. "Just be careful. Come back safely—all of you."

"You know us, we're always careful." He turned away, striding back across the courtyard toward Appa. However, as he paused and glanced back, he saw the levity had once again faded from her face. She watched them from the shadow of the pillar, her hand once again gripping the weapon at her belt. Her eyes rose briefly to the saddle—before dropping away again.

My favorite prisoner…

Sokka followed her gaze to the saddle, though he wasn't fully seeing it. He wished suddenly he had pushed her more to talk, about whatever worries were going through her mind. Even if it was just about all the obvious stuff—a psychotic firebreathing princess, a bunch of bloodbending fanatics. He wanted to hear her explain them herself. Then, even if he couldn't take them away, at least she would know that he knew them, and understood.

He turned back toward the pillar, but the space Suki had been was empty.

Another impatient hiss from the saddle. And, sighing, Sokka pulled himself up the fur. Yeah, this was definitely going to be a fun trip.

A/N: Sokka chapter! My style tends to lean more toward fairly limited perspectives, so it's nice to break outside that sometimes. Sokka's a challenge for me, but hopefully I'll keep getting better with time. (This also apparently turned out to be the oogie-dedicated chapter, Maiko and Sukka in one fell swoop, oof. I legitimately kind of forgot, maybe there's more shipping in this story than I realized...)

Side note, a long while back I was skimming through a bunch of different Ao3 Avatar fic descriptions, and one of the tags was something like, 'Why do Avatar fics always forget about Momo?' And I was like. Uh, yeah, guilty. (Sorry, Momo. Sokka remembered you, though. Momo is somewhat present in this story, mostly thanks to the power of second drafts.)

In any case, thanks for reading! If you have a moment, let me know what you thought, and hope to see you in the next one!

Posted 5/30/23