Chapter 36: Third Verse, Same as the First?

Summary: Aerith is worried. And she misses her garden. But mostly she's worried.

An indulgent side-trip yields unexpected knowledge.

[AN 18 Aug] A helpful gremlin (aka SirhcSidhe) pointed out that chapter 34 (Confusion) was missing from ff-net. It was in my documents, which means I forgot to post it at the time. My sincere apologies. If you got a notice, looked at this chapter, and thought "I've already read that".

The streets of Fort Condor weren't crowded, but Aerith had bumped up against Zack early and hadn't wanted to budge since.

They'd decided to take the day off. Kind of. They'd resupply, go see the phoenix, and make sure Shinra's security forces actually left. Easy, and fun. At least it had sounded fun last night.

Aerith tried to recapture her excitement at seeing an actual live phoenix, but she hadn't slept well despite Zack's strong arms and warm body. Finding another of the misshapen materias had shaken her. She hadn't been prepared, and its whispering had pulled at her all night.

When Cloud had showed them the first huge materia, she'd told them that it promised destruction. Same with the blue and last night's yellow stone – use the summon and end the world. "Etcetera, and so on," as Genesis had said with dismissive cheer. "End the people; save the planet, as if that's a reasonable solution for the people who live on it."

Last night, unprepared as she had been, the message had been clear: they wanted a leader. Someone to make the decisions, to point them in a direction. Someone to tell them who or what to destroy.

Or to save, they'd whispered.

With her as their commander they could rebuild the world, make a better one in its place. Start again, from the beginning. She could shape the path, they promised. All she had to do was to call on them, and they would rise at her command, do her bidding. Whatever she needed, they whispered. Whatever she desired….

But they wouldn't care what the order was. Right or wrong, it would be enough just to have the order.

Destroy Shinra? They'd level Midgar and Junon and any other city where Shinra had a base. (Hundreds of thousands of people would die when it collapsed.)

Want her mother – her real mother – back? They'd tear apart the Lifestream looking for her.

Need help to protect her friends? They'd make her a god.

And part of her had been tempted – so very tempted. She'd lost Zack once, and never wanted to go through that again. And now she had Cloud and Tifa (and yes, even Genesis) to care about. Little Marlene, with her large eyes that she didn't even realize were weapons.

Kunsel had offered to let her and Zack have his room, but she'd wanted the team – her friends – around her the way she'd wanted Zack's warmth next to her. They were grounding and reminded her of what was real – what was important. And that wishes did come true without help from mysterious, mythical powers.

But they were up against a mythical creature and the greatest warrior ever. Maybe they'd need the help…

She'd rested her hand on Zack's oh-so large heart and had listened to him breathe. She'd listened as Tifa shifted in her cot, rustling the blankets and snuffling into her pillow. Genesis was another restless sleeper. His breathing had quickened as if he were running in his sleep. Or fighting. Only Cloud's sleep had been noiseless. He'd put himself on the floor in front of the room's entrance. Anyone trying to get in through the door would've had to go through him.

An illusion of safety when the Planet's WEAPONs were restless…

"What's up, Aerith?" Zack had her tucked loosely under his arm, so he'd felt her shiver.

They were lagging behind the other three, not by much, but enough that they should have some kind of privacy. Although…. She looked at Genesis and remember all the times he'd said he could hear them. However…. There was a certain intensity in how Genesis was looking at Cloud that made Aerith think that he wasn't paying much attention to anyone else.

"It's the stones," she said very quietly.

Zack was right beside her; he heard her just fine. He hummed in encouragement.

"I think even one in the wrong person's hands would be very, very bad."

"You already said that," he said, confused. "Destruction, chaos, end of the world – 'etc. and so on'."

She shrugged. "I know. But I don't think that's all of it."

"That would be pretty catastrophic," he pointed out calmly.

She wasn't explaining it well. Why couldn't she just say it?

Because it was too big, too scary.

Because saying it out loud might make it real.

Because if they failed – if she failed – then everyone she loved would die. But would the failure be caused by accepting the huge materias' powers or rejecting them?

"Are they making it easier for you to hear the Planet?" he asked.

Aerith blinked. Were they?

She hadn't even thought to try.

They'd been in Midgar for the first one, and she'd been battling her fear of leaving the familiar to even try to talk to the Planet. There'd been no chance during the train ride to Junon, but when they'd arrived Junon had been so … industrial. It was all metal and cement and artificial. Even old Junon had been tainted. Aerith didn't like Junon.

Since then…. Well, she hadn't really been alone or in nature in a calm way since she'd left home. She didn't have any flower gardens here.

"I don't know," she finally admitted.

Zack pulled her in and laid his chin on her head. "Once we get out of here, do you want to find a patch of flowers and spend a couple hours?"

"Yes!"

She hadn't meant to be loud, but the three in front turned to look at her.

She felt the kiss Zack pressed to her hair. "Is there a garden or nature friendly spot around here?" he called out. Cloud's eyes narrowed and he flicked a look at her. She tried not to shuffle.

She must've failed because Tifa suddenly looked concerned. Genesis crossed his arms and looked like he was considering her as a piece in a cosmic puzzle.

"Couple hours out, along the expressway," Cloud replied. "In the foothills, usually monster-free, kinda pretty."

"We can spend the morning?"

"Or a night," he shrugged. "Good place to stop before hitting the tunnels."

"Nice," Zack said with satisfaction.

"We could go this afternoon," Tifa said. She was still looking at Aerith with anxious eyes.

"Tomorrow's fine," Aerith replied, but she kinda wanted to go right now.

"Today's good. Stay there tonight," Cloud said. "No restaurant, though, so need to buy food." As he spoke, his eyes drifted to an ugly glass-and-steel building that was out of place in Junon. The bright Shinra sign explained why.

In front of it were groups of security force troopers looking confused, unhappy, belligerent, or all three at once. People she took to be in charge were bossing them around and counting them off. A line of trucks rumbled up the street, forcing the civilians to scramble out of the way.

"Are they getting ready to be loaded onto transport?" Aerith asked.

"Or one last charge up the mountain," Genesis said with a sniff.

"Too angry for fighting," Cloud pointed out.

Tifa looked at him. "Don't soldiers have to be angry to fight?"

"No." Cloud stared back at her. "Anger is bad for discipline. Makes you do stupid things that get your squad killed."

Genesis raised a finger. "Or yourself."

They looked at Zack.

He shrugged. "I didn't get mad when I fought."

"You were angry at me," Genesis said pointedly.

"I wasn't angry," Zack replied. "I was disappointed."

"Ouch," Aerith whispered as Genesis flinched.

The redhead crossed his arms and turned away from them. "Oh look," he said with harsh cheer. "They are leaving. How nice."

And that was the end of that little interlude. They went to stare at the phoenix from the vantage point that everyone used. Zack laughed in disgust. "Kunsel was right: no mistaking that for anything else."

"Ambition is more effective than darkness for making one blind," Genesis said.

"I don't remember that in Loveless," Zack said.

"It's a Mideelan proverb."

Zack nodded. "Probably why I didn't recognize it." He clapped his hands together. "Well! Bird seen. Who's ready for shopping?"

o0|0o

The expressway was boring.

Four paved lanes, divided by a ditch, and every green thing on either side had been cleared so there was nothing to see. They'd finally started to encounter grass and shrubs, but they'd also been cut back so that nothing grew close to the road. ("Harder to set up an ambush," Zack said. "Not impossible though.") It was very nearly straight, and it was very nearly empty. They'd seen (and passed) a total of one truck that was even older than theirs.

Aerith could now completely understand why Cloud hadn't wanted them to come down this way. As dangerous and twisty as the coast road had been, at least it had been alive!

"Why didn't you commune with nature when we were on the coast?" Tifa asked. "We stopped for lunch in the woods often enough."

"Didn't feel safe," Aerith answered without thought, half hypnotized by the unending road. "Half the time we stopped, something attacked us."

"And even when we hadn't stopped," Zack added with a grin.

"We would've protected you!" Tifa said with a quick look away from the road. "You know that right?"

Aerith hastened to reassure her. "Of course, I do. But it's not an easy thing." To explain or to do. "Plus, it takes a bit longer than I felt comfortable stopping us for."

"Nobody would've minded waiting," the fighter assured her earnestly.

"I would've minded asking."

Zack didn't say anything just squeezed the hand that rested on her shoulder. Silent support that she didn't need but appreciated anyway.

They'd left Fort Condor just after lunch, and (just as Cloud had said) it had taken them two hours to reach the foothills. The trees were still cut back, but with the mountains just beyond, there was still more to look at. .

In front of them Cloud raised his hand and pointed to the right. Aerith looked but all she saw was a sign: "Dancing Girl Gardens and Campground".

Zack looked over too and sputtered, "What the …?"

"It's not actually a stripper bar in the middle of nowhere, is it?" Tifa asked.

Since none of them knew the answer, (and Cloud's judgement had been pretty good so far), Tifa turned off when he did. They followed him along a wide-ish gravel road. The stones pinged and scraped against the metal of the truck as they climbed a steep-ish slope.

Nothing they passed prepared Aerith for the explosion of orange and yellow and green as soon as they reached the crest. Leafy trees wearing their autumn colours made the hardy pines look even darker. There was no neon or flashing lights anywhere. It was glorious!

It turned out the trees surrounded an oddly flowy 1-storey motel and a number of small cabins built in the same style, each separated from the others by more trees. There was a space in the middle with firepits and tables. There was a sign on the office wall that said, "Tents this way" and a sign over a path on the far side that simply said "Gardens".

Tifa stopped behind Cloud. Unlike Aerith, she wasn't content to wait in the truck while he got them rooms, or spaces, or whatever he was negotiating for. Aerith let her head rest on Zack's shoulder and looked at the flower beds beside the door.

Cloud came out, followed by Tifa who climbed back in the driver's seat. Then they followed Cloud to two small cabins, side-by-side, and everybody got busy unpacking the stuff they never left unattended (their extra weapons and materia; their food).

Genesis teased Zack about getting a cabin to themselves – for "canoodling". He teased Cloud about enabling the canoodling. Tifa stammered and protested, Zack laughed unconcerned, and Cloud probably commented with his eyebrows. Aerith ignored them all.

She hadn't realized how much she'd missed spending time in her garden with her flowers. She'd been caught up in the joy of being with Zack, being able to touch Zack. And there was Cloud, who was friends with her without needing anything from her. And monster hunting! That was a turn she'd never expected her life to take!

Life before Zack had been tiny – her house, a few people in Sector 5, the church, and the Turks, always watching but never coming close. The most excitement she got was the occasional day trip to Wall Market.

Life after Zack had gotten bigger – she'd gone to Wall Market at night, she'd gone up on the roofs with him, she'd gone above the plate for him, keeping her promise even though he might never know she had.

But now….

She wasn't even in Midgar anymore. She was chasing the most powerful warrior of the last thousand years across the known world. She'd crossed plains and mountains – and seen the ocean! Nobody else she'd known in Sector 5 could say that.

But here, now, all she wanted was her flowers.

Somehow, Zack knew. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her away from the truck and the unloading. He pointed her towards the sign that said "Garden", and she thought he said something to the team, because nobody stopped them when they walked away from the work.

"C'mon, Aerith," Zack said, smiling down at her. "Let's get you to the green stuff."

"You're going to be bored," she said. It was why she never let him stick around when she was serious about working in her flower and vegetables patches. (And because she'd spend too much time with her hands in his pants instead of in the dirt.)

"I'll be on guard duty," he replied. "Cloud said that wild animals are rare here, but it does happen, and since you're going to be 'communing' or at least relaxing, I'll make sure you're not disturbed."

"Still sounds boring."

The smile he gave her wobbled a bit. "I want to do my own thinking," he said. "I never fought Sephiroth, you know." He laughed sharply. "I really didn't expect them to pay up. I just wanted to rub their noses in the fact that I wasn't theirs anymore."

She took his hand. "I know."

Asphalt path quickly gave way to widely spaced cement blocks, that led them through a narrow path, bounded by tall hedge trees. They made the path dark enough that the end of it gleamed with the promise of the afternoon's fading sun.

She sped up, pulling Zack along by his hand. He grinned and let himself be pulled.

The garden was perfect.

Well, it wasn't perfect. It was fall, after all, so the bushes and trees that would normally be green were skeletons, and there were only a few varieties of flowers: chrysanthemums, pansies, joe pyes, calendulas, and wolfsbane seemed to make up the bulk of the display. However, the ground was covered with greenish moss and resilient grass that still looked inviting and alive, inviting her to sit and run her hand over it (despite the heavy wood benches that were scattered around the space.) Paths ran through it, giving privacy to anyone else who might wander the garden. (There was no one.)

She walked them up and around, looking at the plants (and their signs), wondering if the campground's owner would ship cuttings…

She pointed at the pretty blue wolfsbane that ran around the outside. "Don't touch that."

There was a small opening on the far side of the space. When she poked her head through, it was to actual wilderness – or version of it. The trees were exceptionally skinny, making her think they'd only been planted when the campground had been built. There was more moss here, lusher than in the more formal garden, and tall, broad-headed yellow flowers reached up to the light.

Zack's nose lifted.

"What?" she asked.

"Sewer's around here somewhere."

Aerith gave a good sniff but couldn't smell it. Still, she wasn't mako enhanced. Just a little disappointed, she pulled him back into the garden to the centre. She stepped around the low cedar bushes and sat on the ground among the pansies. Since she still held Zack's hand, he followed her. Since he was a good boyfriend, he let himself be pulled down to sit on the ground.

"Kind of hard to keep watch from down here."

But he was smiling as he said it, so Aerith pushed him flat. "Relax," she said. "You'll think better from down here."

She didn't give into the temptation to use Zack as her pillow (because she wouldn't stop at just lying on him), but instead laid down beside him, touching head, shoulder and (of course) keeping his hand in hers. It was nice. She could hear him breath.

All at once she was soooo thankful that he'd been returned to her, that he'd made it and they were making it. There was guilt that she'd given up even a little, but that was a small thing.

"Hey, Aerith?" Zack's voice was gentle, caring, because he was a wonderful person.

She sniffed. "I'm alright, truly. Just glad that we're together when I didn't think we would be."

With a twist of his head, he kissed her cheek. "Me too. Now relax, and tell me what the plants are thinking."

"They're…"

She listened, like she always used to back home, but she didn't hear the flowers. Instead, the red materia Zack kept in a pouch in his pocket sang to her. ~power~protection~safety~life~

Aerith told it to shut up – she thought it very strongly – and it did.

Huh.

"… not saying anything," she concluded. It had been a silly idea – it was always a silly idea – but it was still nice to lay amongst the flowers, next to Zack, feeling his warmth as the sun dipped behind the mountains and the air grew chilled.

"Maybe they don't speak Common," Zack suggested. His voice was crisp but soft. A part of him was still alert, scanning for danger, but a part of him appreciated the quiet as much as Aerith did.

"I'm pretty sure plants don't speak Common," she answered tartly. She gave his hand a squeeze to let him know she was teasing. "And even if they did, surely the ones here would speak the local dialect, not my under-the-plate, Midgarian patois."

"I like how you speak Common," Zack said loyally.

She smiled, and butted her shoulder against his. "I like your voice, too. Now hush. I'm trying to meditate here."

"Aye, aye, ma'am," he snapped out. Then he was silent, and it was just the noise of the park. She could almost hear Tifa and Genesis in the distant parking lot. She didn't hear Cloud, but he usually spoke very softly, so she didn't expect to. There were birds – regular song birds like the ones in the documentaries. There were insects, now that she'd filtered out the other sounds. A soft buzzing as bees and other bugs tried to grab the last of the summer nectar. Once she identified the insects, she let their soft noised fade from her awareness.

She could hear her and Zack's clothing shift as they breathed. And the dirt shifting under their bodies.

Behind her closed eyelids, the sky seemed lighter and brighter than it had when her eyes had been open. But it wasn't a painful brightness, so she let that go, as well.

Breathing. Being. Alive, like the rest of the planet was alive.

She could feel the flowers brushing up against her. Petals touched her cheek and her arms.

Wait….

She opened her eyes and saw white. An endless white sky extending into a white horizon. The only colour (aside from her) was the yellow flowers that definitely hadn't been part of the campground's gardens.

~Abomination!~

The feeling-thought-word thundered through her head so hard she actually put a hand up to hold her skull together.

"Fascinating."

That wasn't the Planet.

Or if it was, the Planet had given itself a really nice baritone voice. But Aerith didn't think the Planet would've bothered with that, so she sat up and looked around.

She sat in a field of white and yellow flowers. Turning she saw what she had feared: a tall (very tall) man with silver hair and green eyes with cat-slit pupils. He didn't have his signature long black coat (or his equally long sword), but it was definitely Sephiroth.

"Where are we?" she asked, instead of the thousands of questions panicking in her brain. There were a lot of muscles on display, she thought. Enough that he wouldn't need a sword to kill her.

One silver eyebrow went up. "You don't know? You created this space." He waved a careless hand.

"First time I've been here," she replied. She pulled her gaze away from him to look around at what she had (apparently) created. The flowers extended as endlessly as the white sky/horizon.

A lip lifted in a sneer. "That is pathetic for one who is supposed to be a Child of the Planet."

That made Aerith snap, "Excuse me? Have you made anything like this?"

The eyebrow went back up, and the eyes looked surprised – the pupils were now round and human. "I have not bothered," he replied finally.

She shouldn't ask, really shouldn't ask, but… "Why not? Flowers are better than nothing." Although… maybe the Lifestream wasn't empty. It was the blood of the Planet, after all. "What do you usually see when you come here?"

Sephiroth half-closed his eyes and drew himself up to his tallest height. "I am sailing the darkness of the cosmos with this planet as my vessel, just as my mother did long ago. Then one day we find a new planet. And on its soil, we create a shining future."

"You know Jenova isn't your mother, right?" Aerith had stood up while Sephiroth crooned his dream. She'd put some distance between them, but if he decided to attack, it probably wouldn't be enough. "As a mammal, she couldn't have carried you to term."

He laughed. "Jenova is my mother in all the ways that matter. She created me, strengthened me, and guided me in all the ways a mother should."

Well…. Aerith had to concede the point. As an orphan with a very loving adoptive mother, it was hard to argue with.

"Zack says she made you go crazy and destroy a whole village."

"Zack!" he focused back on her, Cat slit pupils flaring and narrowing in a way that Aerith recognized as dangerous. "Zack Fair, SOLDIER First Class."

Definitely not enough distance between them.

"Genesis, too," she plowed on. "They both say you were a good man before you found her body in Nibelheim."

"She was a god – a creature built for the stars – and they'd chained her with pipes and tubes, iron and steel."

"Everybody says Jenova was a collection of infectious space bacteria," she replied. "And apparently, Hojo thinks she's his girlfriend."

"Hojo is a fool." The words were spat out. Here was someone else that would gladly kill the mad scientist. Maybe Sephiroth and Zack could bond over it? Aerith supressed a shudder at the idea of Zack having anything in common with Sephiroth.

Time to change the subject. "So you usually have your own body when you're here?" She waved at his whole … size, which looked nothing like the horrors they'd encountered in the real world.

"Of course. Like you, I carry the blood of Ancients in my veins. Living remnants of what we were told was the Planet's greatest creation." When he spoke, his voice had that 'imminent doom' tone again.

"I've never claimed that," she said quickly. "Neither did my mother, I don't think."

He ignored her. "You are the favoured of the Planet. You could use the power of the Lifestream to claim vengeance on all who killed your mother – destroy those who treat you as a possession." His cat-pupils had returned.

Aerith was so terrified that she could feel sweat beading up on her body. This place wasn't real, and she was sweating. "I don't want to destroy them," she replied. Only stubbornness kept her voice steady. "I just want to be left alone.

"You are a child," he said casually, dismissively.

Those words and that tone were so similar to how Tseng had sounded when he tried to talk her out of leaving Midgar that unthinking, she snapped back. "You're only a couple years older than I am. And just because you can use a sword doesn't make you better than me. So you can just stop being such a condescending bounder!"

When had she gotten so close to him?

She didn't let the realization stop her. "Killing is easy for you – for all SOLDIERs – but growing things – creating life instead of taking it – that always hard for everyone." She poked her finger into his ridiculous chest. "You bring me a flower – that you grew yourself – and then you can dismiss me as useless!"

He stood there, in front of her, looking surprised.

Aerith decided (well… decided was a bit strong). She just didn't want to be with him when he got over his shock, so she pushed him.

It was her turn to be surprised when he fell backwards, into and then through her flowers. His silver hair trailing after him, was the last thing to disappear.

"Huh."

~Abomination!~

The Planet was back.

~Infestation!~

It drove Aerith to her knees. It's voice was more powerful here in the Lifestream. It was a logic she could've appreciated if it hadn't been sending ice shards through her brain!

"…rith!"

~Cleanse the infestation~

"How?!" she wailed back. Of course, she didn't get anything useful. Just images. Too many, too fast.

"…rith …. Hey, Aerith."

That wasn't the Planet either. It was far to pleasant a voice. A friendly voice.

"C'mon, Aerith. Come back to me.

No. Not just friendly – beloved.

She opened her eyes to a sky full of stars and Zack's face. The violet of his eyes still there despite all the mako. "You're beautiful."

Zack released a breath he'd obviously been holding. "And you're going to give me grey hairs."

She smiled. "You'll look great with grey hairs. Maybe a dramatic streak through your bangs." Her body was starting to realize that she was back on firm earth. She wiggled her fingers and felt her muscles moving. And her blood chugging through her veins, which was weird. A deep breath and she felt ready to start sitting up.

She rolled over to face Zack instead. "I think I know where Sephiroth kind of is," she said. "But I may just be crazy."

Zack laughed out loud.

She smiled to hear it. His laugh was beautiful too.

He didn't laugh long (which was a bit of a shame) but it changed into a smile. A beautiful, soft smile that he used just with her.

"I woke you up because supper's just about ready," he said. He ran a finger over her cheek then sighed. "But now, I think everyone should hear your story at the same time." He bounced to his feet and held his hand down to her. "Come on, my crazy flower girl. Let's go join the others."

She took the offered hand, letting him lift her to her feet. Once there, she didn't let it go. Easily, without thought or fumble, they shifted their grips to something more comfortable, and walked back to the main camp site.

It was going to be a long evening. She had a lot to say.

.o0|0o.

That night Aerith didn't want the rest of the team around her. She didn't want a crowd. She wanted Zack, just Zack.

She wanted more intimate sounds: the way he gulped his breath when she licked him; his groan when she touched him; the gentle rasp as they moved against each other followed by harder sounds as they neared their climax.

She wanted to feel his heat, his heart, and the love he carried in his fingertips for her.

She didn't want to worry that Sephiroth, and through him Jenova, were embedded in the Lifestream; that they'd infected the Planet and how could their little team get them out!?

So she kissed and she licked; she touched and she moved, and she tried very hard to carve it all into her memory, because she knew her brave, large-hearted lover would stand against every version of Jeniroth that was spat at them. He would protect the world until it killed him.

Tomorrow, she would try and figure out a different way. Tonight, there was only Zack.

End note: As ever, thank you – my ever patient readers.

In case, you're wondering, the decision to have the Huge materia mirror Jenova by whispering at Aerith was absolutely deliberate. They both promise the same thing, really: unlimited power with a side order of planetary scale destruction. I know that, in the OG, they were essentially useless (you don't need them to finish the game), but in my head canon for this fic, I've made them into a kind of summons for the Planet's WEAPONs (useless and also annoying in OG).

I finished listening to a series of podcasts on MK Ultra, and it was horrifying. The stupid, useless, downright evil things that the NATO governments allowed fanatical nutbars to do to their citizens…. Whether you're a government (or a Planet), you can't say you're on the side of "good" when you're willing to "sacrifice" the people who trust you and rely on you for protection.

If I didn't already have so little faith in our power structures, this would've killed it dead.