A/N

I dont own Harry Potter

Dumbledore was panicking, he needed help to go get Molly out his hair, as she appeared to have a mind of his own.

Pulling out his enchanted mirror, he called for the one person who could help him.

" Hello Severus"! said Dumbedore cheerfully.

"Hello Dumbledore said Snape exasperatley.

" I hope you dont want me to spy on Voldemort for you again FOR FREE" said Snape with his nostrils flaring.

"Where is my potions book" Snape continued, as Dumbledore paled.

" You know I was busy, with back to class and a feast" said Dumbledore with barely more than a puff of a mutter.

"Try again Dumbledore" said Snape in the same arrogant voice.

"Well" Dumbledore said nervously before Snape interupted him.

"Don't make me teach you of the pain that befalls those that go back on their promises." Snape said at Dumbledore, who was now sweating bullets.

Dumbledore knew trouble was brewing so he had to make a quick exit.

" Good catching up" said Dumbledore, ending the call.

That night

Dumbledore always hated goblins and tonight he would have some fun, as Griphook and the rest of the Gringotts goblins were camping in a forest off of an old mill road.

He had his mop wand and with it he would capture these goblins and they would sign Gringotts over to him. Dumbledore chuckled as he fashioned himself as the most influential man in the country.

While the goblins were sitting around exhanging scary stories in front of the campfire Dumbledore was scheming.

Dumbledore sneered as he looked at their families all close knit. Dumbledore grew up in a broken home, the son of Moniqua and DeAndre Dumbledore. Dumbledore shook his head to focus the task at hand.

"Catch them in the darkest night, catch those goblins by suprise" Dumbledore sang as he swooped down with his mop wand and took potshots at the goblins, ensaring them in a net.

After capturing over one hundred goblins Dumbledore mused that Gringotts might be closed next week, the thought made him giggle and rotate his chin.

"I think it will be in the Goblins best intrest to do what I want" Dumbledore cracked with the confidence of a champion as he congratulated himself on his joke.

"How dare Griphook cheat on Molly" he said. The remaining goblins watched and vowed revenge on Dumbledore. Dumbledore took the captured goblins and realized none of them were in a capacity to sign Gringoots over to him, so he simply let them go and decided to head to the Burrow as Molly was making pizza!

8 Weeks Later

Now that Dumbledore was on team Weasley again all was well, even though the Goblins had declared war against Dumbledore and all of the wizards.

So Dumbledore had personally crashed the economy, it didnt matter as he had Potter Castle!

Dumbledore thought the time was right for a talent show, to get everyones mind of blaming him for their hardships.

1 hour later

"Ronald Hogwarts is your home." said Dumbledore chearfully as he gave Ronald the first place ribbon.

" Ehhhhhh" Ronald sang.

Nobody else was amused, and Ron was rejected by most of the audience as they prefered the Slytherin dance team. Dumbledore agrred, but knew a Slytherin winner could never be allowed.

Meanwhile at Tonks Ranch

Auror Tonks had a busy day to say the least, as they had a tip about Daviz's whereabouts.

Tonks put her keys down she noticed all the lights were out, and recieved no answer when she called for Reamus Lupin her boyfriend.

Reamus honey, this is not funny" she yelled.

"I dont know we think its pretty fucking hilarous" Molly said with a moist grin as she approached pushing Ginny's wheelchair.

Before Tonks could do anything she was tied to a chair as Molly and Ginny ransacked the place.

"Get out of my closet you freaks" Tonks shouted as Molly destroyed a few designer shirts and blouses trying to fit in them due to her fat size. Molly was not pleased but ignored her and continued talking with Ginny as the went "shopping".

"With this scarf I'll turn a few heads eh" Molly said gruffly as she put on an orange feathered scarf.

"I dont know mother this lipstick will send all the guys a knocking" Ginny squelched as she rubbed lipstick all over her face.

"And you miss hot stuff, you could of had it all, but no you rejected Bill for this half breed werewolf." roared Molly with a schrug as she pointed at Reamus whom was knocked out on the kitchen table.

With that she raised her turkey over her head and as soon as the rotisserie terror came down, Tonks knew no more.

1 Week Later.

Dumbledore had enough of Minerva's whining for a raise. He figured he would take care of the problem himself.

The three headed dog, Fluffy was still at Hogwarts for security reasons. Dumbledore went to visit the beast along with a portrait of Minerva.

"Hello Fluffy" said Dumbledore cheerfully as he unlocked the chains holding the great beast in place.

For the next hour Dumbledore trained Fluffy to attack the portrait holding a raw steak in front of the portrait.

"Atta boy Fluffy" Dumbledore cried as Fluffy destroyed the portrait to eat the meat.

Just then Snape arrived and did not look pleased.

"Bad boy!" Dumbledore wheezed to appease Snape, who merely sneered as he left.

Dumbledore was furious at being cought, so he went to a muggle bar to vent his frustrations. While he was sitting at the bar, he caught his robes on fire in a fit of rage, and a muggle patron got a fire extinguisher that unfortunately sprayed Dumbledore on the face. "Ahhhhhh get it off" Dumbledore wailed. Dumbledore was furious, and the muggle was never seen again.

Next evening.

Seamus Finnegan was walking down the street that led from Hogwarts to Hogsmead with his girlfriend Parvati Patil, when the couple noticed Ron Weasley leaning against a tree eating a greasy burger, and had food all over his excuse of a face.

Seamus was unable to control his fury after he found out about all the sick things Ronald did to his best friend Dean while he was ensnared by a love potion. Seamus was in the hispital wing when this was going on, no doubt poisoned by Weasley, so he could not interfere, with his plans for Dean.

Ronald began following them shouting at Seamus. "I hear Dean is a better snogger then you, care to prove them wrong". Ronald then lept at Seamus, trying to snog him.

The couple fled as fast as they could with Ronald in pursuit and reving his vaccume hand at then menacingly.

Ronald chased them all the way to the shrieking shack. Angerly going in he began to call out, "This would be a decent place to shag, come on out for the fun." Seamus paled at this. But Ronald was not done, as he began to boast about what he and Dean did when they were together.

Parvati jumped out and tackled Ron to the ground. "Seamus help get her off" Ronald wept, as he looked to Seamus with puppy dog eyes. Seamus looked disgusted.

Seamus jumped up and stomped on Ronalds head, knocking him out. When Ronald woke up three hours later, all he could do was weep. This was not over, he would have his revenge. It was time for his mother to get back to making love potions.

Slowly and in a groggy state of mind, he went up to his dorm when he saw him. It was Colin Creevey. Perhaps revenge could wait another day. Colin and Ronald were never seen without the other!

Meanwhile

Fred Weasley and Hagrid were closing in on a deal that would see Dumbledore removed from Hogwarts. As they shook hands with Daviz and Voldemort they laughed like hyenas. Voldemort was back, and now had a great assistant in Daviz as well as Hagrid and Fred. Nobody saw the greasy haired potions master in the dark corner. " See you soon Lily" he whispered.