A/N-Some adult content in this one.

Dean hoped Mae hadn't noticed the tension that lingered between them back in Chicago or his strange behavior towards her back at the motel when they'd met up with his dad. It would have been difficult not to, he thought. When he saw her, every instinct in him told him to wrap her up in his arms and never let go. Doing so in front of his father seemed weird and at the risk of being judged, Dean resisted that impulse. He barely said a word to her, and he felt like they hadn't really recovered yet.

They weren't fighting, exactly. Dean didn't know what they were. He knew what he wanted things to be, how he wanted things to be with her. He wasn't used to being so awkward and self-conscious with women, with Mae. He always felt like they could find a way to be comfortable, or at least pretend he was. Maybe that was the solution to the whatever was off between them. Or, he thought, maybe she was feeling just as uncomfortable not and she was in pain.

He didn't have a solution for that. But they were getting along. She was teasing and only a bit resistant to being taken care of which was pretty normal for her, he surmised. The woman had some pretty strong defenses but, in this case, he might be blowing things out of proportion. Dean reminded himself that Mae was still back in their room waiting for his return. So, she couldn't have been that upset about what had happened.

When Dean returned to the room with a full ice bucket, he heard the shower running. Wet, soapy, naked Mae- the prospect made him jump at the opportunity to get closer to his favorite redhead. The thought brought a lecherous smile to his lips and sent his blood pumping hotter before he reminded himself to throttle back. Mae was hurt and bit out of sorts. It was hardly the time for any sort of early morning aquatic gymnastics.

Still, he thought, perhaps she needed some help. Dean was well aware it was a slim excuse and could spectacularly backfire. In pretending he was unerringly comfortable with Mae, he might be so carelessly pushing her out of her comfort zone, he could end up sleeping in his car.

He stripped, just as she had suggested they both do earlier. As soundlessly as possible, he opened the bathroom door and padded inside. Dean eased the curtain back and slid up behind her. Alarmed, she spun around and was lucky to not lose her balance. "Jesus!" She gasped, pressing her hands against her heart.

Dean deemed it quite the achievement to catch her by surprise and had she been on the top of her game, despite being gloriously naked, she would have decked him. She must have been a million miles away not to hear him come in or the slight sound of the shower curtain hooks moving along the rod. The amused quirk of his lips was impossible to keep to himself. The look on her face, however, told him that she hadn't expected company and was not as delighted by the gesture. "What are you doing in here?"

She covered herself with her hands although he had yet to let his eyes wander from hers. He was intrigued; she may have been a bit bothered by his presence, but she wasn't shoving him out. At this point, he was so unprepared and unaware of what might happen that he had no plan for what to do next.

"We're sharing a room."

To his credit, she thought, his eyes never left her face. "Yes well… I don't mean the room, I mean why are you in the shower with me?"

"You're the one who took the bathroom hostage. Other people have needs, you know." He tried to cover, admitting to himself that there was a sliver of truth in his assessment.

"I—I realize that but—you are in the shower with me."

"I am." He grinned, moving just a little closer to her.

"I'm naked."

"You are."

"So are you."

"You've got a good eye, Red."

An amused frown crossed her lips. "I don't think being naked together is exactly the best situation for us right now."

He reached out to push her hair behind her ear but halfway through the movement, dropped his hand to his side. He wasn't sure if he could freely touch her yet. Dean sighed. "Can we just call this what this is?"

She swallowed hard, from nerves and arousal. "Awkward?"

She could always make him laugh. "A little but I meant… you and me. If what you want is just a friend, someone to hunt with then now's the time to speak up because otherwise..."

"I'm not having sex with you."

"Right now, or ever? Because I can usually tell if a woman is having sex with me, particularly in the moment."

Mae laughed. "No I... this is not a good time to...Dean, I'm in no shape to even think about sleeping with you let alone..." She trailed off as she studied his face for a moment, "Plus we look like hell. I hope you didn't think that just because I was willing to share a room and a bed with you that I was ready to... sleep together quite yet. Are you really up for full-on sex?"

He shook his head. That hadn't been his initial intention of joining her. It had been to reset their tension, create a more awkward situation than just simply talking to each other seemed to have become. This was awkward but somehow conversational now. "No, I like a girl who can breathe freely and who I can touch without making her wince."

"I knew you had high standards. So why are you naked with me?"

"You might need help. With your shower. You're injured."

"Ah so this is a humanitarian aid mission."

"More or less. Can I kiss you?"

Those stony blue eyes widened. "I-you want to kiss me?"

"When we had a chance to before we had company and then we were interrupted. So... can we start over?"

Her lips curved up and there was a little twinkle in her eye as she tried to relax a little. "How far are you trying to go back?"

Very gently he laid two fingers under her chin, mindful of the cuts on her neck, he tilted her head up. "To right about here."

"Isn't this a slippery slope?

"Is that a no?"

"No. You can kiss me." She said, barely above a whisper.

"You can kiss me back too, just in case you weren't sure."

He leaned in to kiss her, sweetly, affectionately, even as she started to laugh a bit. This was not how she anticipated meeting up with him. She could not have anticipated any of the day's events but somehow, standing in the shower with him, kissing him. If it weren't for the nudity, it would have been sweet.

But it wasn't a completely sweet gesture. Despite her injury and need to clamp down on her emotions, she couldn't stop the dizzying swell of passion, excitement, and craving that filled her mind and body. God, if only, she thought, before pulling back from the heady kiss. Opening her eyes, she cleared her throat and pressed her fingers to her lips.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Mae hated how he could so easily leave her speechless, and that's just what she was. If she wasn't hurt, she knew she wouldn't have hesitated to make hot, soapy love with him. Even knowing a part of her would break if she gave into her baser urges. But that moment, before everything crashed down around her, it would be perfect. She didn't know what to say so she just shook her head.

"Turn around. I'll wash your hair."

She scoffed. Skepticism, curiosity and humor passed over her face. "You know this is objectively weird."

"Why?"

"Because we're in the shower, naked."

"I prefer to shower that way."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah but...maybe it isn't weird."

"No, it implies a level of comfort and... intimacy."

"You don't think we have that?"

"I think...it's hard."

"Only semi."

Despite herself, she snorted a laugh. "I walked right into that one I guess."

Dean sighed, leaning his head down to kiss her bare shoulder gently. "We don't have normal lives so why follow some set of rules that don't work for us? It's not like we haven't done this a ton of times before. And I won't do anything you don't want me to do. If you want me to get out, right now, I will. You just have to tell me. So... can you just try to enjoy it and if you can't do that, at least let me help you do you're not in pain, okay?"

Dean could have pushed her to explain why sex with him was so difficult, but he didn't. He was injured and tonight it wouldn't happen anyway, but this wasn't the first time she'd been awkward about the idea.

Still, Mae gave him a quite 'okay' and turned around finally. Her hair was already wet, so he grabbed the bottle of shampoo, squeezing a dollop of the substance into his hand. With great care, Dean lathered the shampoo into her long red hair. Her eyes drifted closed, head lulled to the side as he massaged her scalp. She was right, this did involve a level of comfort and intimacy. It wasn't something he'd done with other women. "This okay?"

Outside of a quick haircut here and there, it had been years she realized since she'd let anyone do this. His hands were strong but gentle and his touch was addictive. "Mmm..."

Dean smirked. He had not expected to do this when he joined her. There was something erotic about touching her and seeing that he had turned to putty. She really was beautiful, with those sharp features, soft eyes, and wide mouth. While her eyes were closed, his eyes did wander south. He'd been actively trying to avoid letting her see him ogle her, but he was no saint. Damn, he thought, she was hot. "I think you wore your hair shorter the last time you let me wash it."

She opened one eye dubiously. "You remember the last time we did this?"

"I remember most times I get you naked."

A lackadaisical smile graced her lips when she opened her eyes as she laughed a little. "That makes more sense."

"It's not all I care about Mae."

"I know. This is definitely the most time I've spent just talking without my clothes on."

"Me too. Turn. I don't want to get soap in your eyes."

She did and now being face to face with him again, her chest tightened. He was so handsome but more than that, he was kind to her. All of this would have been easier if he tried, even a little to keep her at a distance. She knew he had that instinct, the same way she did. How was it so easy for him to be open with her? Didn't he see the same risk? Was he just able to overlook it? Her eyes snapped shut, trying to stem whatever emotions he might be able to find there as she tipped her head back to rinse it. His rough hands glided over her hair as the water flowed through it.

"I'm sorry." Mae's words, barely audible over the streaming water, was something Dean though he almost imagined but didn't understand.

"Why?"

"I'm not who you want me to be. I'm not...I don't work the way you want me to work."

His paused his hands. "What are you talking about?"

"You have...all these expectations about what I'm supposed to do, what you want me to do and... I don't know that I'll ever be able to do it the way you want."

"Mae, look at me." Reluctantly, she opened her eyes again. "If I wanted someone who would do whatever I wanted, I certainly wouldn't be with you."

She snorted. "Thanks."

"Listen, I... yeah, if I had things my way, I guess you would have done somethings different and so would I but...do you think I don't know who you are? I get that...you're stuck."

Her brows knit together. "Stuck?"

"In your own head, in some set of rules you've decided to you need to follow, in whatever...whatever makes you need to punish yourself."

The furrow between her eyebrows deepened as her lips pulled together in a pout. "I'm not-I don't do that."

Dean's smiled sympathetically and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Okay."

"I don't. I'm..." He was right, she knew. "well...I'm..."

"Right now, tonight, let's not worry about it, okay? Just worry about right now. Is that so hard?"

She shook her head. "I..." To his surprise, she reached up, taking his face between her hands and kissed him. He didn't stop her, even knowing that there was more desperation to prove him wrong in that kiss than anything else. She didn't hold back this time. If he didn't want more than an awkward night with her, he might have taken advantage of her heedlessness. Instead, he memorized the feeling of her bare chest against his, the way her hands moved from his face down to his shoulders, the warmth of her body against his, her taste so that he could at least have the fantasy. For the time being anyway.

Slowly, he eased away from her restless mouth. Taking her wrists in his hands, he moved her hands off his shoulders and away from his body. "Hey, you don't need to do that."

"You don't like it?"

"I clearly do. But...I don't want you to do it because you think you have to prove something to me about how not stuck or whatever you are. I didn't say you were stuck because I thought it would get you to do something. I just...I guess I'm trying to say that I understand you're going through something. Let's just finish up, okay? Don't you need conditioner or something."

She lacked the courage and words to tell him what she thought she should tell him. And he knew it. Well, he didn't know the specifics, she thought, but as he said, she was stuck. Because her feelings for him ran counter to the responsibility she gave herself, Mae wasn't sure that both could exist together. It had been easy when it was just phone calls, to feel the way she felt and to live the life she was living. Worse yet, she knew Dean would understand. He'd try to talk her out of it or talk his way into it, but he would understand.

Mae frowned, "Yeah. Are we okay?"

"Of course. For as objectively weird as we are, we're okay. Now, let me do the conditioner thing."

She did. He was just as gentle as before. Her eyes drifted close as she tried to find a way to make things shift back. It seemed impossible as that old, familiar sadness wrapped tighter around her heart. It wasn't Dean who put it there and she knew it wasn't for that that feeling held the sort of sway it did over everything else. She kept her eyes closed as he guided her back around to rinse out her hair again.

"Hey, uh Mae," Her eyes fluttered open, 'I think maybe you should give me a few minutes here."

A shadow of confusion crossed her face before she understood what he was asking. She nodded as the soundlessly changed places so he could stand under the water, and he turned to face away from her. Mae stepped back and opened the curtain before pausing. While their dynamic was strange, it was still theirs and they didn't have to follow any sort of rules about how things were supposed to be done, she thought. Leaving him after he'd been kind enough to take care of her seemed inadequate. It was certainly unfulfilling on some level, for him anyway. She closed the curtain and stepped against him. He jumped slightly.

"Oh, c'mon Red." he groaned, "I really-"

"Shhh...I know this isn't exactly what you were hoping for between us but..."

Her lean frame molded up against his. He closed his eyes, relishing the soft touch of her hand as it slid from his hip to wrap around him. Her other hand slid upwards, over his abdomen to rest on his chest. Her chest pressed against his back. Only an inch shorter than him, she was able to rest her chin on his should. As her hand moved, she kissed his neck.

How long had it been since she'd touched him like this? Somehow, in all those years, her touch hadn't changed. It was still a mind-numbing bliss. With doubt, he stilled her hand for a moment. "Mae, this isn't necessary. You don't...owe me something here."

"Didn't you once tell me that it was really unhealthy if a guy didn't come?"

Chuckling, he was glad they weren't face to face because a hot sting of blush crept on his cheeks for a moment. He cleared his throat softly. "Well..."

"I don't feel obligated to do this. I just wanted to...do something. But if you'd rather fly solo-"

"No, that's...no."

"Good. Then just let me. I promise, I'll still respect you in the morning."

He smirked. He let go of her hand but reached behind him to place a hand on her hip. His other hand braced in front him as the water cascaded over his face and head. Her arms remained wrapped around him, holding him to her as her hand slid fluidly over him. Dean didn't protest any more than he already head. Spontaneous and magnificent. She coaxed shutters and groans from him with the efficient movement of her hand, her wrist and he felt like he was 15 again.

She pressed soft kisses along his shoulders and back as she touched him.

He wasn't sure how long she kept at it, but he knew it wasn't long enough to brag about. After reaching his peak, he needed to rest a moment, unsure of what he had done to end up in this situation but grateful, nonetheless. He was going to turn and try to reciprocate the gesture but with a kiss to the back of his neck, she untwined her arms from around him and slipped from the shower.

She called from the other side of the curtain. "I'm just going to get ready for bed, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." he said weakly.