Chapter 24: T'was the Night Before Christmas
Kyle yawned as he looked around the room. It was New Year's Eve, and he was tired. Everyone was sitting around talking and laughing. There were several board games and card games being played. Most of the adults had migrated to the kitchen for the adult party. Kyle wasn't sure that he was going to make it to midnight.
He sighed as he leaned back in his seat. He closed his eyes for a moment. He was just so tired.
"Dude, it's only nine, don't tell me you are tired already," Miles said plopping down beside him.
"I am tired," Kyle said, not bothering to open his eyes. He just needed to rest for a little while.
"Lame," Miles said, shoving him.
"I know," Kyle chuckled weakly. He turned to look at Miles finally. "I think it's a side effect."
"Of what?" Miles asked, confused. Kyle gave him a pointed look. "Oh right," he said looking down.
The day after the wedding, Kyle and Miles threw out his pills. Kyle made Miles watch so that he would believe him. He hadn't had anything since before the wedding. He was starting to notice the difference too. He was more sluggish and tired lately. He was also getting headaches. It was nothing he couldn't handle.
"Come on let's go get some caffeine in you," Miles laughed.
The two made their way to the kitchen. There they found Kendall, James, Logan, Jake, Damien, Jared, Matt, Penelope, Roldy, and Noah enjoying the adult party. They were sitting around drinking and laughing.
Miles made a beeline for the fridge as Kyle walked over to the others. He took a seat next to Jared who greeted him with a smile. Miles joined them with two sodas.
"Kyle here is being a drag and needs some caffeine already," Miles teased.
"This vacation is throwing off my sleep schedule," Kyle said nudging Miles.
"Dude it's not even nine o'clock yet," Matt said.
"I know," Kyle replied, "I can't help it, I'm used to early mornings now. I can't sleep past six anymore."
"Yeah, he's up super early now," Jared said.
"He's been making breakfast every morning for us," Miles added.
"Since when did you become a morning person?" Jake asked.
"Since I had to. I've got to get up early to make sure that Jill and Carly are ready for school and make them breakfast, because the last time Jared cooked was a disaster. Those girls are alive because I feed them real food and not takeout," Kyle said.
"Hey I didn't exactly have parents that would teach me all this stuff," Jared replied, "I've had to teach myself."
"He's got a point, besides his mom wasn't a really good cook anyways," Roldy said.
"And what's your excuse you spoiled brat? Just didn't care to learn to cook," Kyle asked snarkily, "these three goons are still alive because I feed them. They wouldn't last one day without me."
"That is true and I love and appreciate you for all that you do," Jared said leaning on the blonde with a smile.
"Kiss ass," Kyle said, shoving him off. Everyone laughed at that. "Not to change the subject, but dad what happened on Christmas Eve, you told us you'd tell us later but never got around to it."
"Oh right," Kendall said sitting up.
"We had quite the adventure," James chuckled.
"Let me tell you how hard it is to find an open place on Christmas eve," Kendall said, "It all started around ten o'clock."
"The kids were in bed by eight and we set about getting everything under the tree. With Jake and Adam helping it went pretty quick," James said.
"So we went to bed early, because we knew it was gonna be an early morning," Kendal said.
"Are you sure it wasn't because you're old?" Kyle asked.
"Do you wanna hear this story or not?" Kendall asked annoyed.
"Sorry," Jared said slapping a hand over Kyle's mouth. "He will behave." He glanced at the young blonde. "Licking my hand won't make me move it."
Kyle glared at him challengingly before he bit his finger. Jared yelped and drew his hand back as Roldy and Matt laughed.
"You don't have to bite," Jared said.
"Ok we don't need to hear all the kinky details," Miles laughed.
Kyle felt his face heat up as he turned to Miles with a death glare. "Dude stop."
"Anyways," Kendall said cutting into their conversation.
Kyle was glad, he did not want this to go any further.
"Like I was saying we went to bed and got maybe an hour or so of sleep when Logan decided to wake us up," Kendall said.
"It wasn't my fault," Logan said defensively.
Christmas Eve…
Kendall felt someone poking his face. He swatted at the hand. There was no way it was morning. It honestly felt like he had just fallen asleep. He was not getting up. The poke came again.
"Kendall."
That didn't sound like Jenny or any of his other kids for that matter. That was Logan. What did he want? Was this a dream? Why was Logan in his dream?
Logan nudged him again, "Kendall wake up."
Kendall finally cracked an eye open. He saw a slightly nervous Logan standing over him. He arched a brow at him in confusion. Logan thought his words over carefully.
"You gotta come see this," Logan said simply.
"Logan there better be a good reason you're waking us up this early, it is only 10:30," James said from the other side of the bed.
"You gotta come see this," Logan repeated. He left the room.
Kendall and James grumbled as they got out of bed. Kendall grabbed a pair of pajama pants. This has better be important. They made their way downstairs. Adam and Cooper were sitting with Jenny and Miri. Both girls looked a little upset as they rested their heads on the guys shoulder.
"What's going on," James asked.
"You might wanna go see for yourself," Cooper said pointing to the living room.
Kendall and James made their way to the living room where Carlos and Logan were standing looking at a pile of wrapping paper. There were several opened presents. Kendall looked from the two to the pile on the floor. His jaw dropped as everything clicked.
"Yeah, Miri and Jenny woke up early," Logan said.
"Oh my god, how are we gonna fix this?" James asked walking over to the presents trying to inspect the damage.
"We are gonna need more wrapping paper," Logan said.
"Can we salvage any of this?" Carlos asked.
"Ok here's what we are gonna do," Kendall said, trying to calm the others down, "James you go clam the girls down and help get them back to bed. Carlos you can work on saving what you can. Logan, you and I are gonna go and find wrapping paper somewhere."
"Where are we gonna find wrapping paper this late on Christmas Eve?" Logan asked.
"I don't know, but we are gonna try our best," Kendall said.
"I'll come help once the girls are down Los," James said as he left the room.
Kendall grabbed Logan and led him from the room. They grabbed their jackets and headed outside.
"You didn't yell at the girls did you?" Kendall asked.
"No, I mean we were shocked, but they knew they were in trouble," Logan said.
"I don't know where we are going to find wrapping paper this late at night," Kendall sighed as he got into his car. Logan followed him.
Kendall started driving and Logan started searching on his phone for any stores there were open that might have wrapping paper.
Kendall tapped his finger on the steering wheel as he drove. He was resisting the urge to ask Logan if he found anything yet. Logan was making phone calls and not getting any answers.
"This is hopeless, no one is gonna be open this late on Christmas Eve," Logan said shaking his head as he got another answering machine.
"We have to do something, there has to be some place open," Kendall sighed.
"I'm looking," Logan replied as he typed away on his phone.
They fell silent once more. Kendall kept his focus on the road. He saw something in the distance. A flashing light. As they drew nearer he could barely make out a car on the side of the road.
"Is that a car?" Logan asked.
"Yeah, let's see what's wrong," Kendall said.
"Kendall, we don't have time for this," Logan said.
"We can't just ignore someone in need though," Kendall retorted. "Could you live with yourself if you heard that whoever was in that car was hurt or dead in the news."
"I hate when you do that," Logan said shaking his head. "Let's see if we can help."
He pulled over near the car. They both cautiously got out and walked up to the drivers side. Sitting in the car was a woman, she had dark hair and was bundled head to toe. Kendall knocked gently on the window. She looked up at him and rolled her window down.
"Is something wrong ma'am," Kendall asked.
"Actually yes, two of my tires are flat, my cell phone is dead and I don't have a charger and my daughter is waiting for me to pick her up from work. My husband is out of town and I think I am stuck here," she said.
"Well, we have a working car and a phone charger if you'd like," Kendall replied.
"I don't know-" she started.
"Look we are just two friendly strangers trying to help another stranger out," Logan said.
"I'm Kendall and this is Logan, we are not strangers anymore," Kendall said.
"Tillie," she said as she shut her car off. Kendall led her back to their car and helped her in.
He climbed in the front seat with Logan. Logan asked her what kind of charger she needed. It took a little digging but he found one that worked with her phone.
"Thank you guys so much, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't showed up," Tillie said.
"Don't mention it, no one should be stuck out alone on Christmas Eve," Logan said.
"So, why are you two out this late on Christmas Eve?" she asked.
"We are having a bit of an emergency. My daughter and granddaughter woke up and unwrapped all the presents and we have been tasked with finding wrapping paper," Kendall explained.
"Wrapping paper?" Tillie asked thoughtfully, "I might be able to help you."
"How so?" Logan asked.
"I know a place that can get you some wrapping paper," Tillie said, "first, can you bring me to town. I was supposed to meet up with my daughter almost an hour ago and I bet she's worried."
"Sure thing, just tell me where to go," Kendall replied.
—Happy Mistakes—
James yawned as he made his way back to the living room. He had finally gotten Jenny and Miri back to sleep with Adam and Cooper's help. The girls were a little upset. They knew they did something wrong. He just hoped they wouldn't remember this in the morning and have fun.
He entered the living room and saw Carlos had gathered a few more recruits. Leora and Lilly were with him with a couple rolls of wrapping paper. It didn't seem like much but it was a start.
"How are the girls?" Carlos asked.
"Sleeping finally," James said as he looked around at the mess.
"We saved what we could and we had a little wrapping left over but not much," Lilly said looking around.
"I hope Kendall and Logan have some luck," Carlos said shaking his head.
"Well we will just have to explain we've got two present happy toddlers. I'm sure the other will understand," James said.
"Yeah, but Jared and Kyle really want Carly to believe in Santa. The poor kid has been through so much, it's the least we can do," Leora said.
"I know," James sighed.
Rusting paper caught his attention. The others noticed it too. They all looked to the corner.
"Carlos-" James started.
Suddenly a mouse darted out from the pile of wrapping paper. Leora and Lilly let out a shriek of surprise and jumped up onto the couch.
"Quiet, we just got Jenny and Miri back to sleep," James scolded them. The mouse got scared and ran back to the pile of paper for safety.
Carlos jumped up and looked for something to catch the mouse. James joined him. They found an empty box. They both looked to the pile to paper determined.
"I got the box, if you get the paper," Carlos said.
James nodded his head. They slowly walked over to the pile, hoping that the little critter was still hiding there. They were not going to go on a manhunt for this thing. James looked at Carlos who nodded his head. He quickly picked up the paper and there their little friend was hiding. He was spooked and took off. Carlos made a mad dash with the box. There was a lot of shuffling and crashing.
Next thing James knew, Carlos was on the floor, the mouse was scurring up the tree, and Lilly and Leora were sitting on the couch with their knees to their chest watching the whole thing wide eyed.
"Are you really scared of a mouse?" James asked as he helped Carlos up.
"They carry diseases," Leora said.
"Their creepy and gross," Lilly added.
"Where did he go?" Carlos asked.
"He's in the tree," James said. They made their way over to the tree and started searching.
"Come on Mija, some help would be nice," Carlos said.
"I did not sign up for this," Lilly said shaking her head.
"Don't look at me," Leora added, "I will not touch that thing."
"You two are being ridiculous, it's just a mouse," James chuckled.
"There he goes," Carlos shouted as the mouse scampered across the floor. Carlos took off after him with the box once more. He made a dive as the mouse slipped through a crack in the wall.
"He's a quick one," James said.
"He's got spunk that's for sure," Carlos said.
"You're gonna have to lure him out somehow," Lilly said, "do you have any peanut butter or something like that."
"We've got cookies," James said.
"I have an idea," Carlos said. He took off into the kitchen.
"This can't be good," James sighed.
-Happy Mistakes-
Kendall parked the car outside a small shop. The lights were on and across the front in red paint read Santa's Workshop. The window display was filled with toys and wrapped boxes.
"Ok let me just find my keys," Tillie said as she dug through her purse.
The shop door opened and a young girl stepped out. She looked like a younger version of Tillie. She gave Kendall and Logan a confused look.
"Mom, what's going on? I was this close to calling dad," the girl said in a slight panic.
"My car broke down, my phone died, and I had no charger. What was your dad going to do from across the country?" Tillie asked.
"I don't know, I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere," she said stepping aisde for them to enter the shop.
"These two helped me out, Kendall, Logan, this is my daughter-slash-mother Ginny," Tillie joked.
"Well someone has to be a mother here," Ginny said.
"If you say so," Tillie said, "in the holiday spirit, these two helped me and now we are going to help them. Is there any leftover wrapping paper?"
"I think so," Ginny said slowly. "Why?" she asked.
"My grandaughter woke up and opened all the presents and we salvaged what we could and we got desperate and went on a search for more wrapping paper. We knew it was a long shot, but we saw a car pull over and decided to stop and help," Kendall said.
"Well, you came to the right place," Ginny said, "mother dear here runs a toy shop and has lots of wrapping paper."
"I told you we would find something if we went out," Kendall said nudging Logan. Ginny and Tillie led them to the back of the shop. There were several rolls of christmas themed wrapping paper rolls.
"Wow," Kendall said.
"Take what you need, I won't need any of this after tonight," Tillie said.
"Are you sure?" Kendall asked, "how much do you want for it."
"No way, consider it a christmas gift. You helped me and I am helping you. It's a fair trade," Tillie said.
"Thank you so much," Logan said, "you don't know how grateful we are."
"Oh don't mention it, giving is what this holiday season is all about," Tillie said.
-Happy Mistakes-
James and Carlos watched the box trap that Carlos had set up. They hadn't seen their little friend since Carlos had chased him off. Lilly and Leora were sitting across the room, with their feet up waiting for him to return.
"This isn't going to work," James said.
"Not if you keep talking and scaring him away," Carlos said.
"You're not going to kill him are you?" Lilly asked.
"Weren't you just screaming because he's gross," James asked.
"Yeah, but you can't kill the little guy," Lilly said.
"Mija it's a mouse," Carlos said.
"Yeah, but he's a living creature," Lilly said.
"We are not gonna kill him. We are gonna catch him and release him outside," James said.
"If we can catch him, he doesn't seem to want to come out anymore," Carlos said.
"Maybe he's gone into hiding and won't bother us anymore," Leora said.
"Maybe not," Lilly said pointing to the box where the mouse was eating the cookie crumbs they has put out.
"How did he not set off the trap?" Carlos asked, shocked.
"Do not," James sais stopping the Latino. "You're going to scare him again."
"We have to catch him," Carlos said.
"Catch who?"
The pair looked up as Kendall and Logan walked into the room. They were carrying wrapping paper. Logan's eyes went straight to the box on the floor. Kendall followed his gaze.
"Oh you found Wilson," Kendall said looking down at the mouse. He slowly approached the mouse and picked it up.
"We've been trying for two hours to get him," Carlos said.
"Wilson? You named the mouse?" James asked.
"I didn't Jill did, he's her pet," Kendall said as he picked up the box and flipped it over. He set Wilson down in the box. "She convinced Jared to get her a mouse the other day and he got loose and we weren't able to find him."
"There's been a mouse in this cabin for a few days and you didn't tell me?" James asked.
"Ew, who would want a pet mouse," Leora asked.
"Jill apparently," Carlos said walking up to Kendall. He grabbed the box and held it out to the blonde.
"Yeah, she somehow convinced Jared that she would take care of him and then proceed to lose him in less than an hour," Kendall said.
"What are we going to do with him?" Lilly asked, eyeing the box.
"I'll keep him safe until Jill gets here, unless you two wanna bring him back to Jill," Kendall said, holding the box out to Leora who jumped back shaking her head.
"Get that thing away from me," Leora said, her hands shooting up.
"I still can't believe you found that mouse and gave it back to her," Kyle said, shaking his head. "All you had to do was say that he was gone and we were done with it."
"Come on Kyle, it's her first pet," Jared said.
"It's a mouse, I'm sure she would've bought it if we told her he was lost for good," Kyle said, waving a hand. "Who wants a mouse as a pet anyways. They are gross."
"Calm down, it's a mouse he will live with for about a year maybe and Jill will learn how to take care of a pet in the process," Jared said.
"No, you know that you're going to be feeding that thing and taking care of it," Kyle said shaking his head, "I am not going near that thing."
"Don't worry scaredy-cat, I'll take care of it," Jared laughed.
"Why are you afraid of a mouse?" Roldy asked.
"I'm not afraid, I just don't like them," Kyle said.
-Happy Mistakes-
Midnight was inching closer. Everyone had relocated to the living room. They were watching TV now and waiting for midnight to hit. Jake looked around the room. Everyone was laughing and having a good time. Damien, Noah, and Roldy were all passing Eli around and just cooing at him. Noah was really excited to be a dad. He was taking any chance to hold the baby that he could.
Jake quietly left the room. Damien was too busy to even notice him. Jake made his way to the kitchen in search of something to drink. He found Kyle sitting at the table with his head down.
"Tired baby brother?" Jake asked.
"New Year's Eve used to be so much fun when we were kids," Kyle replied sitting up. He turned to Jake with a weak smile.
Jake walked over to the fridge. He grabbed two sodas and headed over to Kyle. He handed him one.
"God, it's only eleven and I am so tired," Kyle said, shaking his head.
"Me too," Jake said.
"Yeah, but you have a baby that keeps you up all night and you're like old now. I'm still young, I should be this tired," Kyle replied with a small smile.
"Right, a baby," Jake said, taking a sip of his soda.
"Something wrong?" Kyle asked arching a brow at his older brother.
"No, I just…" Jake sighed. He hadn't told anyone how he was really feeling. If he said it out loud, that would make it real. "I am just tired. What's your excuse."
"Well between work and school I have two preteen girls to take care of and then I had to help with the wedding plans, and keeping Penelope's secret was hard. Everyone kept asking me who it was and I just...it's too much," Kyle said. "Sometimes I just feel like giving up."
"It's not in our blood to give up," Jake replied.
"Ha, right," Kyle chuckled. He took a sip of his soda. "I just can't sometimes. You know, all the pressure from dad and pops to be perfect. Get good grade and keep working on my music because I wanted this. I have to do it all, and then on top of that I have Jill and Carly to help take care off. Then as if that isn't enough I get all the comments about my weight and how I need to eat more, I'm too skinny and starvation isn't right. I don't think people realize just how much I actually eat in a day. Sometimes it feels like the walls are caving in on me, and I can't breathe."
"I know the feeling, dad and pops put the pressure on me my senior year too. It's probably while I fell in with Marty and them," Jake admitted.
"Oh yeah, I remember that," Kyle said.
"And as for the weight comments. Don't listen to them Kyle, you've always had a high metabolism. There is nothing wrong with the way you look," Jake said.
"I know, but I am losing weight, not gaining and Miles and I can't really share clothes anymore. He couldn't even fit my pants for the wedding," Kyle said.
"Maybe Miles is putting in a few pounds," Jake suggested.
"Thanks Jake." Kyle laughed, "So I've got a question and I don't want you to get a judge-y on me."
"What?" Jake asked.
"When you started using drugs was it hard to stop?" Kyle asked looking down at his soda can.
"Kyle-" Jake started.
"It was just adderall, I've stopped. Miles and I got rid of it all. He wasn't using it, he caught me and I just...I needed something to pep me up and after everything with...the baby and everyone expecting me to be perfect I just...I made a bad decision," Kyle said with tears coming to his eyes.
"Kyle, taking pills is never the answer. You need to talk to us," Jake said.
"You wouldn't understand. You have your baby. You can pick him up whenever you want and hold him. I never even got to hold my daughter. She was gone before we even met her," Kyle said the tears coming full force now. "I just...I needed the energy, but I stopped ok. I promise you I stopped. Please don't tell dad or pops."
"Kyle-" Jake started again.
"Swear to me you won't tell anyone. I am done I promise," Kyle said glaring at Jake through his tears.
"Ok, I won't," Jake said, putting his hands up, "Can I share a secret too?"
"What?" Kyle asked, wiping his tears.
"I don't love my baby," Jake admitted. It felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders, just by saying the words out loud. Kyle sat there shocked. "I hold him and look at him and I feel nothing. We haven't bonded like he has with Damien. Nothing I do works." Tears came to his eyes.
"Have you told Damien," Kyle asked slowly.
"You're the first person I told. I know about postpartum and all that, but I've been in denial. I kept thinking soon we will bond and I'll love him, but like he doesn't like me. He cries every time I hold him and nothing I do works to soothe him. I feel like such a failure," Jake rambled. He wiped away his tears, but more came.
"You are not a failure, maybe you need to talk to your doctor," Kyle said, "You're not perfect Jake. None of us are, asking for help isn't the end of the world. Miles has been amazing at helping me these last few weeks, even when I don't want the help he is there."
"Yeah, he can be a pest at times," Jake chuckled weakly. He wiped his tears once more. "Thanks for listening, but you need to get help too."
"I will if you do," Kyle said. Jake nodded his head. "Talk to Damien too, I'm sure he will understand."
"I'm sure he suspects something," Jake said.
Kyle checked the time on his phone. He sat up straight and grabbed a napkin from the table and offered it to Jake.
"Right now, let's go out there and smile. It's a holiday after all and when we get back to LA maybe I can help you look for help," Kyle said.
"Thanks baby brother," Jake smiled weakly. He wiped his tears and plastered a fake smile. Kyle did the same. They exited the kitchen together.
They entered the living room. Everyone was huddled together. The countdown was about to start. Jake joined Damien on the couch while Kyle walked up to Jared and Miles. He had a fake smile plastered across his face, that Jared didn't seem to notice was fake. Miles saw right through it.
The countdown started.
"10…"
Jake scooted closer to Damien and Eli. He looked down at his son.
"...9, 8…"
Why couldn't he love that little face. He wanted so bad to love his baby. It was what he was supposed to do. Everyone said that once you held your baby for the first time it was magical. It hadn't been magical. Jake couldn't connect with his son.
"...7, 6…"
Kyle allowed Jared to pull him close as they counted. Kyle beamed at him. It was forced, but Jared didn't seem to notice. Everyone was loud and excited. Kyle could fake it for a little while.
"...5, 4…"
Jake swallowed thickly. He had to fake it for a little while. No one had even noticed he didn't hold Eli much. They were all busy passing him around and getting their fill of baby talk and laughter.
"...3…"
Damien looked up at Jake. He gave him a knowing smile. Of course he knew, he was his husband. There was no way that Damien didn't know.
"...2…"
Kyle stepped up closer to his boyfriend. He knew what Jared wanted.
"...1…"
Confetti exploded across the TV. Everyone started cheering.
"Happy New Year!"
Kyle grinned as Jared pecked him on the lips. Everyone shared a kiss with their significant other. They were all cheering.
"Typical, no midnight kiss for Miles," Miles said sourly.
"Oh my god, stop," Kyle said. He then grabbed the brunette and kissed him. Miles shoved him off. He stood there a moment in a daze. "Yeah, I have that effect on people." Kyle joked.
"That is not what I meant," Miles said, shaking his head.
"You got your midnight kiss," Jared said laughing.
"Oh please, you know you want me," Kyle winked playfully.
"Kyle not in front of Jared," Miles said, playing along.
"I'm used to it at this point, you guys are a package deal. I can't have Kyle without Miles," Jared replied waving a hand.
"Told you he knew dude," Kyle laughed.
"You wish," Miles said, shaking his head, "I'm a real catch you will never know."
"Sure Miles," Kyle replied, "I know you are and you'll find someone to be your midnight kiss next year."
"Right, I've got a whole year to get my shit together," Miles said.
"Just a year? I don't know if that's enough time," Jared replied.
"Hurtful," Miles said, "but oh so true," he added, hanging his head.