Chapter 50: How Many Time Can I Break Til I Shatter
Kyle felt like he had been put through the ringer. His head ached and his throat hurt. Things were fuzzy. He heard voices, barely. Was that Miles? Or was it Jayda? No, that was Kendall.
He tried to open his eyes, but they felt heavy. His chest hurt too. His throat felt raw. All he could do was focus on that pain.
'Is this what it feels like?' He thought to himself.
The voices came again this time it sounded like Kendall and James were there too. They were all talking. He could barely make it out.
He tried moving again. Why couldn't he move? His limbs just felt heavy. His brain felt foggy too. He managed to crack an eye open and light flooded his system. He groaned and punched his eyes shut again.
Suddenly everything hit him at once. Voices were heard clearly. Then he felt the pain. His head hurt. It hurt so bad, and his throat. Each breath was a struggle.
"Kyle!"
That was Miles. He was at his side in second.
"Kyle!"
Kendall. He was close by too, meaning James probably wasn't far. What happened? Why was he in the hospital again. Where was Jared?
Kyle could feel his own heart racing. It felt like it was trying to thump right out of his chest.
"Kyle please, wake up," Miles begged.
Kyle groaned again. Suddenly he felt Miles beside him. He could practically feel the anxiety rolling off of him. Miles grabbed his hand and Kyle squeezed it, trying to reassure him. He could hear Kendall too, he was calling for someone to get a doctor or nurse.
"Kyle? Can you hear me?"
"Yeah," Kyle rasped, "Loud."
"You are so lucky to be alive, I'm gonna kill you now," Miles threatened with a laugh, as he threw himself at the blonde.
Kyle opened his eyes finally and let them adjust. He looked over Miles' head and saw Kendall and James behind him. He could barely see others behind them.
"You're stupid you know that right?" Miles asked, tears gathering in his eyes as he stepped back, letting Kendall and James move forward.
"'M sorry," Kyle mumbled.
"Kyle, you're so lucky to be alive," James said, grabbing his attention. He pulled Kyle into a hug next.
"What—?" Kyle asked, confused.
"What do you remember?" Kendall asked, getting his attention. He placed a hand on Kyle's shoulder as James refused to let go.
Kyle closed his eyes as he tried to think. He couldn't remember much. He remembered fighting with Leora and Jayda was there. No, she found him. Logan was around at some point too. He wasn't sure when.
James sat back looking at him. He glanced up at Kendall who shook his head.
"Kyle-" James started.
"I-I don't-" Kyle said, his mouth floundering. He couldn't find his words. "I remember Le….then Jay. Lo-Logan…maybe."
"Do you even remember taking the pills?" Kendall asked.
"What?" Kyle asked, confused. He tried to think back, but nothing was coming to him.
James sat back wiping his tears. "You scared us."
"I'm sorry," Kyle said again.
Suddenly there were nurses in the room asking the others to leave. Panic set in as they tried to make Miles leave. Miles, sensing this, refused to leave.
"I'm not going anywhere, I left him alone once already and we ended up here," Miles said firmly as Kendall and James tried to make him leave.
"Stay," Kyle croaked, reaching out for Miles. "don't leave," he said desperately. He clung to Miles.
Miles stood his ground. The nurse allowed Miles to stay, seeing Kyle's distress. They wanted to get this assessment done and Miles promised to stay out of the way. He stayed by his side as vitals were taken and questions were asked. She asked him his name, what year it was, who was in the room with him.Kyle could only answer a few questions. His words seemed to be lost to him. The nurse told him not to worry, that he was lucky to be alive. Things could be worse.
"Ok, I'm gonna go update the doc, he should be in shortly to talk to you," she said, giving him a smile.
Kyle nodded his head. "Tired," he said.
"That's the sedative, we had to sedate you, you woke up swinging earlier," she said.
"Oh," Kyle said sleepily. He fought back a yawn.
"Are you ok with your dads coming back in," the nurse asked.
Kyle shook his head but looked at Miles. Miles always knew what he wanted to say.
"He knows they aren't gonna take no for an answer," Miles said.
"They're worried about you," the nurse said.
"We all are dude," Miles added, grabbing his hand again. The nurse nodded her head and left the room.
"Where Jay?" Kyle yawned. He remembered she had been there. He needed to see her. She needed to know he was ok.
"You idiot!"
Kyle looked up as Jayda ran into the room with Kendall, James, and Jared behind her. Miles took a step back, not letting go of the blonde until Jayda was on him.
"I'm ok," Kyle said.
"You're so stupid!" Jayda said with tears in her eyes. "I was so scared. Don't ever do anything like that again!"
"I won't, I'm sorry," Kyle said, clinging to her.
He looked past her and saw Jared hovering near the door with Kendall and James. Jayda, almost sensing this, stood up. She wiped her tears. She took a step back next to Miles.
Kyle looked up at Jared. Jared wordlessly crossed the room and took his turn. He hugged the blonde tight. Kyle wrapped his arms around him, biting at his lip. He didn't deserve this man. He just held on tight.
He closed his eyes as he felt all eyes on him. He hated being the center of attention. He felt dizzy and sleepy still. He just knew that this was far from over. There were going to be questions. Questions he wasn't sure he wanted to answer. His head was starting to hurt.
—Happy Mistakes—
Kendall stood at the nurses station with James and Logan beside him. A doctor was in with Kyle giving him a psych evaluation and he had asked everyone to leave. Jared had reluctantly left with Jayda to get some snacks. Miles was standing back by the wall watching Kyle as well.
"Do you think they're gonna keep him?" Miles asked.
"Maybe, but he doesn't even remember taking the pills," James said.
"Dissociative amnesia."
Kendall looked up as Marcus walked up to them. He glanced in Kyle's room and saw him talking with the other doctor. James asked what he meant. Marcus started explaining that Kyle went through something kind of traumatic and didn't want to remember. Subconsciously he was forcing himself not to remember to protect himself.
"Jackson is a good psychologist and will determine if he's stable to go home," Marcus said, looking towards Kyle's room where they could be seen talking.
"And if he's not?" Kendall asked.
"We search for a facility that will take him and that could take hours. There aren't many open beds in the state he could end up hours away," Marcus sighed.
"How long would he have to stay there," Kendall asked.
"We are not sending him away," Miles said quickly.
"Miles," Logan said.
"We might not have a choice," James said, turning to the teen.
"That would make this worse," Miles said.
"He's got a point, if I know Kyle sending him away would only make this worse," Kendall said slowly.
"So what, we take him home and he ends up back here in a few weeks or worse he succeeds?" James asked, giving Kendall a pointed look.
"Look this is a lot of ifs and maybes, let's not jump the gun," Marcus said.
"Marcus you have no tact," Logan sighed, "I apologize for him, he's a great doctor with the worst bedside manner. That's why he hired me."
"You know I hold your employment in my hands right?" Marcus asked.
"Yeah, and I'm the reason the complaints on you have gone down," Logan said.
"You live to work another day," Marcus replied, putting his hands up.
"Dad? Pops?"
Kendall looked as Leora walked up to them. He had known she would show up eventually. He could only keep her away for so long. He was surprised she listened as long as she had.
"Leora what are you doing here?" James asked, walking up to her.
"I couldn't sit around any longer," Leora said, wringing her hands together. "I just wanted to be here with Kyle in case he woke up. I want to apologize."
"Actually, he's awake and getting a psych evaluation right now," Kendall replied, "we were waiting for some tests to come back before we called. He's been awake about two hours now and they've been running all kinds of tests."
"Oh," Leora said.
"We just wanted to know more before we called you guys," James said.
"Right, how is he?" Leora asked.
"He doesn't really remember taking the pills," James said.
"Dissociative amnesia," Logan nodded.
"He's got some slight cognitive dysfunction but that's expected with what happened. It should get better over time," Marcus said.
"English," Leora said looking at Logan.
"Bracing damage, he did stop breathing for a little bit and took a lot of pills, it could cause some memory issues and focus problems for a while," Logan said.
"He's not done yet?"
Everyone turned as Jayda and Jared returned. Jayda saw Leora and walked up to her. They two hugged.
"Thank you for finding him," Leora said, holding her tight.
"He's a creature of habit. I'm just glad I got there in time," Jayda said.
Suddenly they heard the pinging of a call light. They all looked to the nurses. She pointed towards Kyle's room.
Kendall looked and saw Kyle in his bed with his knees drawn up to his chest. He was rocking and his breathing was rapid. Before anyone could react Miles took off with Jared right behind him.
Kendall followed, stopping in the doorway as the two ran up to Kyle. Miles sat down on the edge of the bed holding a hand out to Kyle. Jared stood next to Miles. Miles pulled Kyle close. Jared grabbed Kyle's hand placing it over Miles' heart.
"It's ok, just focus on Miles," Jared said softly. Miles pressed his forehead to Kyle's.
Kyle clenched his eyes shut. Jared placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Open your eyes," Miles requested softly. Kyle looked up at him.
"Deep breaths like Miles," Jared instructed.
Miles took a few deep breaths. It took a few seconds but Kyle's breathing evened out. His eyes slipped shut again. He reached out for Jared. Miles let go and stood up. Jared took his place as Kyle threw his arms around him. Kyle reached out for Miles' hand though. He didn't want him to go far.
"Interesting."
Kendall looked over to the doctor in the room, Jackson Cormac. He was a psychologist who had been with Kyle for almost an hour now. He was holding a vial of medicine and a syringe that he hadn't yet opened.
"What's that," Kendall asked warily.
"Ativan for the panic, but it seems I no longer need it," Jackson said, slowly.
"Yeah," Kendall said, watching the three confused. He didn't know what was going on with them. He just knew that Kyle needed both of these boys in his life.
"Let's step out," Jackson said as he put his things away.
Kendall exited the room with him walking over to James and Marcus. Logan directed Leora and Jayda to the waiting room. They both nodded and left.
"Dr. Mitchell, I didn't realize you'd be here," Jackson said, greeting Logan.
"Miles is my son, and I practically helped raise Kyle. I'm off the clock," Logan said.
"Let him stay, he's their medical translator," Marcus laughed.
"So what's the verdict?" James asked.
"Your son is an interesting case. It seems he's completely put a block on anything that happened last night. He's got bits and pieces but he no longer wishes to kill himself. He's depressed and apathetic for sure, but that urge is gone," Jackson said.
"Ok, so he can stay here?" Kendall asked.
"Yeah, I would recommend therapy and maybe even a support group," he said, pulling a card from his pocket. "I run a teen support group weekly."
"Thanks, we will keep that in mind," James said, taking the card.
"I'd like to continue seeing him as well," Jackson said, "he already told me about his other therapist and how they weren't really clicking, I think he and I would be a better match."
"That is up to Kyle," Kendall said, looking past the doctor to see Jared and Miles sitting next to Kyle now making him laugh.
"Of course," Jackson said with a nod. "I would also recommend he get started with some speech therapy and OT. He's got some cognitive dysfunction going on with his speech and it would be important to start on that as soon as possible. everything is up there, ge just can't quite put it to words yet." He said
"Good to know," Kendall said.
"We will look into it. Thank you so much," James said.
"Of course, I would also suggest getting him back on Adderall for the time being," Jackson said.
"Aren't we trying to get away from that?" Kendall asked, confused.
"He needs to detox," Logan said.
"Detox?" James asked.
"Yes he's been taking quite a bit of Adderall and has a lot in his system. Suddenly stopping it could cause bad withdrawals and may even send him into shock in his weakened state," Jackson said.
"Ok, does he know this?" Kendall asked.
"We discussed it a little bit, but then he started panicking," Jackson said.
"About what?" James asked, confused.
"Not sure, his speech is limited and when I brought up taking more labs he panicked. Is he afraid of needles?" Jackson asked.
"No," Kendall and James said together. They shared a look.
"Jake and Adam are," James said.
"But not Kyle," Kendall finished for him.
"Hmm, interesting," Jackson said. He glanced back towards Kyle's room. Jared and Miles were sitting with him keeping him occupied and calm. "I have to get going, but I will be back later to talk some more," Jackson said.
"Thank you for seeing him on such short notice," Kendall said.
"Of course," Jackson replied. He said his goodbyes and left.
"Well, we got lucky," Logan said, "it could have been a lot worse. A few speech problems we can handle."
"Very," James agreed.
Kendall's cell phone started ringing. He fished it from his pocket.
"When did you tell Carlos you'd be home? I think you're in trouble," Kendall said, nudging Logan as he answered the phone. "Hey Carlos, what's up? We are waiting on some test results so I don't have much time."
"Give Logan the phone," Carlos said.
"Logan isn't here, he left," Kendall said.
"Kendall I don't have time for games," Carlos said.
"I'm not playing a game, I don't see Logan anywhere," Kendall said looking away from Logan fighting the urge to laugh. He heard Carlos sigh and hang up.
"Thanks, now he's gonna be even madder at me," Logan sighed.
"He knows I will never betray you, he knows if he wants information not to call me," Kendall said.
"Yeah he'd call me," James said, pulling his buzzing phone from his pocket.
Kendall snatched the phone before James could react and turned his back to James as he answered it. He leaned away as James tried to snatch it back.
"Carlos I'm a little offended that you don't trust me to be honest with you," Kendall said ducking away from James.
"Give Logan the phone Kendall," Carlos said.
"I told you he left," Kendall said quickly. He ducked away from James' grabby hands again.
"Kendall, give me my phone," James said, annoyed.
"Your loyalty to each other is amazing," Carlos groaned.
"Sorry James, I'm talking to Carlos since he so rudely hung up on me. I was only trying to tell him that Logan left just a few minutes ago and is on his way home," Kendall said.
"You little liar," Carlos said.
"You have no proof," Kendall said, "now I gotta go. Kyle is awake and being evaluated."
"What?" Carlos asked.
"Yes he's awake, we don't know much yet, but we will call you once we know more," Kendall said.
"Fine, keep your translator but he's gotta come home and rest at some point. The child too," Carlos sighed.
"Thank you, I'll pass the message along when I see him, if he's still here," Kendall said, cracking a smile.
"Yes, if you happen to see him. Just know what I can see where his phone is through the find my phone app, and you two are idiots," Carlos said.
"Yes that is true, but we are loyal idiots," Kendall said. Carlos laughed and said goodbye as he hung up.
"Was he mad or laughing?" Logan asked.
"Laughing, I got you off the hook," Kendall said, "we were lucky this time, don't press it again."
"What is sleep, I'm fine," Logan said.
"Logan, go home," Marcus said.
"Hey, I'm on my day off and then I might take a few extra days. I do believe that my boss told me last night he would understand if I took a few extra days due to a family matter," Logan said.
"I can confirm, I was there," Kendall said stepping up beside Logan, he held out his fist. Logan bumped it.
"I did say that," Marcus nodded his head.
"Don't bother with them," James sighed. "It's a losing battle."
"See he gets it," Kendall said, pointing at James. Logan took Marcus' attention as they argued back and forth about Logan living at the hospital.
Kendall turned to James and his smile fell as he looked at James. He suddenly looked a bit paler than normal and more exhausted than before. He was also swaying where he stood. Kendall led him away from the other two.
"What?" James asked, confused.
"You feeling ok," Kendall asked, "You look a bit…off."
"Just exhausted, we've barely slept in the last day and a half," James reminded him.
"Yeah, I guess," Kendall said slowly, "maybe after Kyle is settled you should go home and get some actual rest. You just…you look like a zombie and I'm sure I'm not better."
"Yeah, but what if he needs us here," James said.
"He's awake and he's doing better than we expected James, I'm sure he would understand if we went home and get some sleep," Kendall said, "Besides you know that Miles and Jared aren't gonna leave his side."
"Yeah, those two…" James trailed off.
"I don't know what's going on, but they both care about Kyle and want to help him. They've got a lot to figure out on their own," Kendall said.
"Yeah, can you wrangle them out of there, I'm sure Leora wants to talk to Kyle," James said.
"Can do," Kendall said, "hey Logan, wanna wrestle your kid out of the room?" He asked as he walked over to him.
"Sure, why?" Logan asked.
"I'm sure Leora wants to talk to Kyle, but not with Miles there," Kendall said.
"Got it," Logan said.
"I'm gonna go see if those lab results are back yet," Marcus said in asking away.
—Happy Mistakes—
Carlos sighed as he set his phone down on the counter. He knew Logan was worried about Kyle and Miles, but he was pushing himself too far again. He needed to rest soon. Carlos would give him another few hours before he went to collect him.
"Papi."
Carlos looked up as Layla entered the kitchen.
"Mija," he greeted her.
"Are you ok?" Layla asked.
"Me?" Carlos asked, surprised. He hadn't expected that question.
"Are you and dad fighting again?" She asked with a frown.
"What? No, he's just being stubborn and Kendall's an enabler," Carlos sighed. "I know he's worried about Kyle and Miles, but he needs to rest too. So does Miles."
"You know Miles isn't gonna leave Kyle any time soon," Layla said.
"I know, but he can't stay at the hospital forever," Carlos said.
"Good luck with that," Layla chuckled.
"So, what do you want?" Carlos asked, looking down at his daughter.
"Why do you assume I want something," Layla asked.
"It is five o'clock on a Saturday and you haven't asked once to leave. I assume Millie or Erika have finally bugged you enough to ask you to go out," Carlos said.
"What?" Layla asked, his voice going high.
"Fine, have fun," Carlos chuckled.
"I'll be back by curfew," Layla said.
"Nine," Carlos said.
"Dad said it was ten," Layla said.
"Nine thirty," Carlos said.
"Fine," Layla sighed. She pulled her phone out as she ran from the room.
Carlos watched her as she left. She was growing up way too fast. She was almost sixteen and getting more and more independent as the days passed. Erika already had her driver's license, giving them more freedom than before. Millie had failed her first test and was retaking it soon and Layla had one set up for the day after her birthday next month. It was hard to believe that she was almost driving on her own.
He shook his head as he pushed himself away from the counter. He paused as Adam, Jake, Damien, and Lucas entered the kitchen.
"Hey boys what's up," he asked.
"We wanted to thank you for letting us basically take over your house for the day," Adam said.
"Don't mention it, we are all worried about Kyle. If it were one of mine I'm sure you guys would do the same for us," Carlos said.
"Of course," Jake and Adam said together. They quickly jinxed one another.
"Anyways, as a thank you we wanna make dinner for you," Adam said.
"And by we he means him and Damien since I can't cook to save my life," Jake said.
"I'm here to help too," Lucas pipped in.
"You can't be that bad," Carlos said to Jake.
"Oh he is, he's almost killed us all with how much egg shell he leaves in his eggs," Adam said.
"It was one time and you didn't die," Jake said glaring at his brother.
"I cut my tongue and bled profusely, just ask Damien, he's got more kitchen horror stories," Adam said. Damien nodded his wide eyed. He jumped back as Jake smacked his arm playfully.
"Love you though, but I definitely did not marry you for your cooking skills," Damien said.
"Ok, go for it, if you need help let me know," Carlos said.
"Don't worry about it, we got it," Damien said.
"Yeah go relax, play with Jenny, she's asking for her Los," Adam said.
"Ok, ok, I'm going," Carlos said, putting his hands up.
He left the kitchen and made his way to the living room. Lilly and Cooper were trying to occupy the girls with coloring but it wasn't going very well.
"Jenny-bee," Carlos said as he walked up to her. Jenny threw her crayons down and jumped up.
"Los!" She cheered. Carlos caught her in a big hug. He scooped her up. She giggled as he spun her around. He took a seat at the coffee table with the others back in Jenny's spot. She settled into his lap. She grabbed her picture and started showing him her work.
"We're coloring," Cooper said.
"We think she might be trying to draw Kendall and James," Lilly said, squinting at the picture Jenny was holding. "If you tilt your head and squint you can kinda see it."
"Is this dad and pop-pop?" Carlos asked.
"Pop-pop?" Lilly asked.
"Yeah it's what Miri and Jenny have started calling him," Cooper said, "though I feel like someone might have taught them that and the jury is still out whether it was Adam or Carlos."
"I would never do such a thing," Carlos said with a grin.
"Right," Cooper said, giving him a disbelieving look.
—Happy Mistakes—
Leora paced in the waiting room. She and Jayda had left to give the adults a moment. She knew they weren't going to say anything in front of her.
Watching Miles and Jared both calm Kyle down, had been eye opening. Seeing how much Miles cared for her brother. He had never looked at her like that. He didn't even hesitate when he saw Kyle in distress. Jared too, was right there helping. Seeing Kyle so dependent on someone was strange. He was normally so strong and in charge.
"He's gonna be ok," Jayda said.
Leora turned to look at her. She looked down at her feet for a moment. She then crossed the room and sat down beside her.
"I know, but I wanna apologize," Leora said softly. "I know dad said it's not my fault, but I still feel responsible. I was the last person to really talk to him and what I said…I didn't mean it," Leora said.
"I'm sure he knows that," Jayda said.
"Maybe, but I still need to apologize," Leora said.
"So what happened?" Jayda asked curiously.
Leora sighed as she looked down at her feet. She wasn't sure how to go about this.
"We got into a fight about Miles. Like I'm mad that he likes him and what not cause like it totally makes sense and all that, but like why didn't he just tell me? Why string me along? Why hide it?" Leora said.
"Because they are boys and they are stupid," Jayda said shaking her head.
"I just…it hurt that they could both do this to me rather than just tell me the truth. That's what I was mad about, and I…I just wanted to hurt him in the way he hurt me," Leora said.
"I'm so glad I'm an only child but I get that whole wanting to spite someone cause they hurt you," Jayda said.
"I know it was awful," Leora said.
"But siblings fight. I've seen you guys fight and make up so many times over the years," Jayda said.
"This one was bad, it was like we took every negative thought and tried to hurt each other in the worst way, and it worked," Leora said, tears coming to her eyes.
"Hey, he's awake and he's ok," Jayda said, "now it's time to apologize and make up. He's gonna need a lot of help in the coming days for his recovery. He's gonna need us all."
Leora nodded her head. Jayda was right. Siblings fought, her and Kyle had fought in the past. They could work this out. She knew he didn't mean what he had said, and she hadn't meant her words. He was just saying the things he knew would hurt, because siblings did that. They knew how to tear each other down with words. She had known just what to say to rule him up and he shot back with just as much ferocity. Jake and Adam had told her the same thing too, that they knew how to get under each other's skin with words. Now she just needed to apologize. She needed to hear from Lyle that he knew she didn't mean it.
"Leora."
Leora looked up as James walked into the room. She jumped up from her spot. James pulled her into a hug.
"Sorry I just showed up like this, but-" Leora started.
"It's ok," James said, "I get it, we were actually just finishing up with the doctor and about to call you guys."
"I want to talk to him," Leora said.
"Come on, your dad is distracting Miles and Jared right now," James said.
"I'll wait here," Jayda said.
Leora followed James out of the waiting room. They passed Kendall and Logan with Miles and Jared. They were talking to them. Kendall gave her a small encouraging smile. Leora followed James to Kyle's room.
"He's having some difficulties right now so just go easy on him. There's been some brain damage, and it's gonna take a little time, but he's ok," James said. Leora nodded her head. "He's having a hard time word finding. Just give him a minute."
James let her go in alone.
Kyle was sitting alone breathing softly as he looked down at his lap. She stood there unsure of what to do. This was Kyle, her brother. This shouldn't be that hard. She shifted in her spot and Kyle startled at the movement looking up at her.
"Le," he said, shocked.
"Hey," Leora said at a loss for words.
She stood there staring at him. Hooked up to all these machines and looking so frail. It was a strange sight. She didn't like it.
"Leora I-" Kyle started.
It was like something snapped. Leora crossed the room quickly, throwing her arms around him. She let her tears flow as she squeezed him.
"No, I'm sorry I pushed you and it's my fault. You were right I just wanted to argue," Leora cried as she sat back.
"I'm sorry, I…I gave into it," Kyle said slowly. He grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"I didn't mean it, I was angry and I knew what to say to get you angry," Leora said
"I know, me too," Kyle said with a frown. He sighed as he looked down at his lap. "I don't know afterwards. Small parts…I'm sorry…I just…ugh" he groaned.
"Take it easy, pops already gave me the low down," Leora said.
"Thanks, words are hard," Kyle sighed. Leora leaned in and hugged him.
"It's ok, I'm here for you," Leora said, "I will help you get through this."
"Thanks," Kyle said, his own tears coming. He held her tight, trying to reassure her without words.
She was forgiven, she knew that. He was forgiven. Things were far from ok, but they would get there. It would take time, but they were gonna be ok.
"Uh."
Leora looked up as Miles stood in the doorway. Leora felt Kyle tense next to her. She let out a breath and hung her head.
"I don't hate you Miles," Leora said, "I'm just hurt that you two couldn't tell me."
"I'm so sorry Le, but things got complicated and-and I don't know…we just…," Miles said from his spot across the room.
"Are stupid boys who don't know how to talk about their feelings," Jared said as he entered the room, pushing past Miles.
"Yeah, that," Miles said, hanging his head.
"Look, you both hurt me, but I don't hate you. I hate the situation. I'm just gonna need a little time ok," Leora said to Miles.
"That is fair, take all the time you need," Miles said, finally crossing the room. He stopped in front of her. "Just know that I am truly sorry for everything. I wanted to tell you and I tried to tell you but I chickened out every time. I was so scared of hurting you that I convinced myself what I was doing was better than being honest."
"Ok, but I'm not quite ready to forgive you yet," Leora said.
"That's fair," Kyle and Miles said together. They shared a look and laughed.
"Still of one brain I see," Leora commented.
"Would you expect anything less?" Jared asked, his arms crossed over his chest.
"No," Leora replied with a small smile.
Kyle yawned as he leaned back in bed. Jared sat down beside him.
"Tired?"
Kyle nodded his head. He leaned on Jared for support. Jared placed an arm around him, kissing his forehead.
"Get some rest, it's probably all the medicine that's making you sleepy, I'll be here when you wake up ok," Jared promised. Kyle yawned and nodded his head. He glanced over at Miles.
"Me too, I'm not going anywhere," Miles said, moving to stand in front of him. He grabbed Kyle's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "It's ok, just rest. Your brain is all scrambled and rest will help it. That's what dad said at least."
Kyle gave a weak chuckle at that. He leaned into Jared as he relaxed. It wasn't long before he was sleeping.
"The sedatives they gave him when he woke up swinging," Miles told Leora. She nodded her head.
"So, what, you two are just…" She started.
"We are here for Kyle. Relationship stuff can wait," Jared said.
"Agreed, we need to be here for Kyle and help him get better," Miles said.
Leora looked back to Kyle. She agreed with them. He was going to need a lot of support moving forward. She would do whatever it took to help him.
—Happy Mistakes—
Adam busied himself with cleaning the kitchen. Dinner had turned out great. Everyone was happy and full. They were all in the living room currently arguing over what to watch. Adam wasn't interested in that right now. He really just wanted to be alone for a few moments.
He was still worried about Kyle. They had gotten the call during dinner that he was awake. Kendall and James filled them in on his condition so far. All things considered Kyle was lucky to be alive. Adam was glad he was doing good, but he worried about what they couldn't see. If he knew Kyle, it's what he didn't say that counted. Kyle wasn't very open, not to many people anyways. He kept himself sheltered and away from the spotlight as much as he could. There was more going on to this. There had to be. Kyle didn't just suddenly get depressed and take a whole bottle of pills. How had no one seen this coming?
Adam sighed as he started to load the dishwasher. He felt like a bad brother now. He had barely seen Kyle or even Leora in the last few months. They hardly got together anymore. It was only going to get worse as time went on too. He had another baby on the way, that would take up a lot of his attention soon. Leora was planning on moving to New York for school, and Kyle was a rising pop star about to go on tour. This was only the beginning for him too, if this was successful he'd probably headline his own tour. They were all growing apart.
"Hey."
Adam looked up as Damien entered the room. He arched a brow at his best friend.
"You ok?" Damien asked walking over to him.
"Yeah," Adam nodded his head. "Why?"
"You're cleaning after Carlos told you he would do it," Damien said, "I've never seen you eager to clean."
"I'm a dad now, I have to clean," Adam said.
"Yeah and I've watched you whine and complain to Cooper about how awful it is and you haven't done that once, which means something is up," Damien said crossing the room. He stopped beside the other man. "I know you Addie."
"I just need a distraction," Adam said. "Help me?"
Damien nodded his head. They quickly finished cleaning. Adam appreciated that Damien didn't push him to talk. Cooper would be bugging him. He would try to make him talk. Damien wasn't like that.
Once they were done Adam leaned back against the counter. Damein stood on the other side giving him a patient look. He was waiting for Adam to speak.
"Like I know he's doing good and all, but I'm still worried," Adam said finally.
"Yeah, I think we all are. He's not out of the woods yet." Damien nodded his head.
"I feel like such a bad brother. I've hardly been around the last few months and when I am around we barely talk," Adam said.
"You're got two kids to deal with, I'm sure everyone understands that they come first," Damien said.
"Well yeah, but how did we miss all the warning signs?" Adam asked.
"From what I gather there weren't many and he hid them well," Damien said.
"I guess, but it…I guess I still just can't believe it," Adam said.
"I know, and no offense, please don't take this the wrong way, but back in high school I always thought it would end up being you," Damien said.
"Honestly? Same," Adam said.
"Oh so we are on the same page as usual," Damien laughed.
"Yes, I was an angsty bitch back then, and when I got pregnant if dad and pops hadn't pulled me to home school the second semester of junior year I might have," Adam said.
"That was a rough year, but look at you know with two kids with a third on the way, a mostly stable relationship as long as you two communicate properly," Damien said.
"Hey we've been doing great lately, who knew talking and sharing feelings and concerns would make a relationship work so well," Adam joked.
"I know right," Damien laughed.
"Either that or taking secrets almost to the grave like your mom," Adam said.
"Right, and if I hadn't almost died and needed a transfusion we never would have found out," Damien said.
"Right, that's gotta be weird still," Adam said.
"Yeah, a little, but nothing has changed. Steve is still my dad. He raised me and Logan and Carlos are still like uncles to me because they practically raised us alongside our parents," Damien said.
"Yeah, we are all one big family unit that just keeps growing," Adam said.
"Right, and it's not just from babies either, your dad practically adopted the guys," Damien said.
"I know, and not to mention Penelope," Adam said.
They two fell into mindless chatter after that. Adam felt more relaxed than he had. Damien was a good best friend and master of distraction. They were laughing when Carlos entered the kitchen.
"Well the older kids are bathed and cleaned," Carlos said, "and I see you cleaned up in here."
"It's the least we could do since we made the mess," Adam said, waving his hand.
"Thanks," Carlos said.
—Happy Mistakes—
Penelope moved around the apartment nervously cleaning. She was preparing for the baby's arrival and worried about Kyle. Her cleaning was kicked up a notch. She had Matt moving furniture this morning, but he quickly grew tired of being bossed around. Penelope didn't blame him either.
Her phone rang, startling her. She jumped up and grabbed it. She saw Matt's name on the screen. She answered it.
"Hey Matty where are you?" Penelope asked.
"I went to see Roldy and Noah and we went for a ride earlier. Anyways, can you come open the door? My hands are full," Matt said quickly.
"Are you at the door?" Penelope asked, turning and walking to the door.
"Yeah, I can't reach my keys," Matt said.
Penelope opened the door and came face to face with Matt holding a small yellow lab and bags full of what she could only assume were pet supplies.
"Matthew," Penelope said.
The dog squirmed out of Matt's arms and ran into the apartment. Matt stepped in closing the door. The puppy ran around before running up to Penelope jumping up at her legs.
"So, her name is Nidia," Matt said, "it means—"
"One who possesses grace," Penelopecut him off, "I've been reading the book too."
"Yeah, like that was the name from the shelter, I thought it was perfect," Matt said.
"Perfect?" Penelope asked.
"Yeah, her and Gracie can grow up together and be best friends," Matt said.
"You adopted a dog?" Penelope asked. She looked at the dog, big blue eyes were staring up at her.
"They were having an adoption event at the Palm Woods and she got loose and ran up to me," Matt said, "the employees said she had been scared and hiding all morning."
"She's a puppy," Penelope said.
"She's kennel trained, and potty trained and knows a few commands," Matt said setting the stuff aside.
"Dia," he said. He reached into his pocket producing a treat. "Show Pen how you can dance." He sai holding his treat out.
Nidia turned to Matt and jumped up on her hind legs. Matt swirled the treat in his hand. Nidia started to hop in a circle. She got two rotations in before she fell to her feet. Matt tossed the treat to her and she happily caught it.
"Oh that's precious," Penelope said. Matt scooped the pup up. He stuck out his lip at her. "Please Pen, I'll take care of her."
"I can't say no to that face," Penelope said, reaching up to Nidia and petting her. "Yours either," she added to Matt as she leaned in to kiss him. Nidia joined the fun licking their cheeks.
"Thanks, you won't regret this," Matt said, smiling at her.
"Oh I'm sure I will, but like you had me when you said her and Gracie could grow up together," Penelope said with a smile.
"And I didn't tell you the best part," Matt said. He set Nidia down on the ground and let her explore.
"Oh and what is that?" Penelope asked.
"As of Friday we were officially homeowners," Matt said, pulling a set of keys from his pocket.
"What?" Penelope asked.
"We closed on the house. It's ours now," Matt said.
"Oh my god no way," Penelope gasped shocked.
"Yeah I got the call from Minnie and then uh everything went down with Kyle and I kind of pushed it to the back of my mind," Matt admitted.
"That's fair," Penelope said, "but this is awesome. We need to start planning our movie now! We need to buy furniture! We-"
Matt cut her off with a kiss. Penelope sighed into the kiss.
"Tomorrow, let's just relax today," Matt said.
"Oh by the way Kyle's awake," Penelope said, "Miles texted me."
"Oh, how is he," Matt asked.
"All things considered he's doing good. He's got a trauma block on everything that happened and some brain damage from the medicine. His speech is limited, but Logan said there are therapies that could help," Penelope said.
"That's good," Matt said.
"Yeah, he's lucky that's for sure," Penelope said.
"How about we take Dia for a walk and go get some dinner?" Matt asked.
"Yeah, so what did you buy though? The whole store?" Penelope asked.
"Basically," Matt shrugged. He dug into a bag and pulled out a leash. He called to Nidia. She came running full force at him.
"Aw, she's so precious, I can't even be mad at you," Penelope said.
"I know right, it's like fate that we were meant to meet this dog. She's almost seven months old and knows basic commands and is mostly potty trained but we can expect a few accidents since it's a new home, maybe a few behaviors, but so far I'm in love," Matt said.
"'Me too, she's just so cute," Penelope said, smiling down at the dog. If she could she would
Scoop her up in her arms.
"Did we just make a big mistake?" Matt asked.
"Probably, but let's not worry about that right now, I'm hungry," Penelope replied.
—Happy Mistakes—
Kyle yawned as he listened to Miles and Logan argue about whether Miles needed to go home. Kyle didn't want Miles to leave, but he knew that he couldn't just hold him captive here because he didn't want to be alone. Jared was here and wasn't leaving, he had made that clear. Kendall and James had sent Leora home with an update for the others. They were currently on the phone with Jake and Adam in the waiting room as well. Jayda had to leave as well. She had a job lined up for tomorrow and needed to get ready.
His doctor has been in to explain his condition and what he would need to do to get better. She told him they were going to keep him in the ICU one more night just to make sure he was ok and they would reassess him in the morning. With Logan's translations he was told he had brain damage that was affecting his speech and his motor skills. She recommended he get OT and Speech therapies to help, which could start on Monday.
Jackson had assessed that he wasn't a danger to himself either, and wanted to keep seeing him in the coming weeks to make sure he didn't slip up and had someone to talk to. He also wanted Kyle to start taking Adderall and wean off of it this time after Miles had spilled the beans about his last bout with withdrawal. Jackson had explained that with Kyle in the fragile state he was in withdrawal could make things worse and potentially send him into shock. So a plan was made to slowly wean him off over the next few weeks.
Kyle's attention was grabbed as Miles and Logan came to a decision finally. Miles was staying one more night but needed to come home the following day because he had school on Monday. Miles agreed for now, but Kyle was sure he would work his way out of it somehow. Logan left after that leaving Kyle alone with Jared and Miles.
"You can go home," Kyle said to Miles.
"I'm not leaving your side dude," Miles said, crossing the room. He hopped up on the bed beside Kyle.
"It's ok, I'm ok," Kyle said slowly.
"Barely, I am now your interpreter while you recover and can't use big words," Miles said.
"Use five big words correctly in a sentence," Jared said from his spot on the windowsill.
"No one asked you," Miles said, turning towards Jared with a playful glare. "Besides I know that people with Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia probably wouldn't eat humuhumunukunukuapua'a because of the word itself."
"You are stupid," Jared shook his head.
Kyle started laughing as he remembered how he and Miles had practiced those words tirelessly to use that when someone demanded they use big words. It had taken them most of the day to
"Maybe so, but I do know some big words," Miles replied with a grin. "Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is ironically the word for fear of big words."
"How long did you practice that one?" Jared asked.
"That took way too long, right," Miles said looking at Kyle who nodded his head. "Don't worry, with some more practice we will get you back there."
"Thanks," Kyle chuckled.
"Or maybe we could work on words he will use on a daily basis," Jared offered.
"Nah, that would make too much sense," Miles said.
Kendall and James entered the room together. Kyle sat up straighter as they approached. Dread filled him as he realized they were probably gonna go soon. He knew they had to take care of Jenny.
"Going?" Kyle asked, trying to hide his anxiety.
"Yeah, Jenny's probably getting anxious," Kendall said.
"Your dad is anxious, don't let him fool you," James said, "we stopped in earlier today when you were still out and he almost brought her back with him. His separation anxiety is awful."
"Always," Kyle said.
Kendall frowned at that. "Not always." Kyle gave him a pointed look much like James' very own glare. "Ok mini James knock it off," he said.
James and Kyle started laughing at that. James walked over to Kyle. "We can stay if you want."
"I'm ok," Kyle said as he looked at Jared and Miles. He had them to keep him company. Even if he wanted them to stay, they had other kids to worry about too.
"If you need anything for tomorrow, have one of them call us or text us to bring it when we come back," James said. Kyle nodded his head and accepted the hug from James.
"Pops, I'm ok," Kyle said. He paused as he tried to think of what he wanted to say.
"I know, I just…I worry is all, you know that," James said.
"I know," Kyle said, "I mean…not like I haven't…given you-you a reason to." He said slowly as he tried to formulate his thoughts to words correctly. It was difficult.
"I guess it's a good sign that your sarcasm and attitude are still intact," Kendall said as he gave Kyle a hug as well.
"It's all here," Kyle said pointing to his head, "it's just…" he trailed off as his words failed him.
"Words are hard right now," Miles finished for him.
"Yeah," Kyle agreed.
"Well just let us know, we will be back in the morning," James said. Kyle nodded his head.
James was hovering again, but he didn't mind this time. He knew he was scared and didn't want to leave him. Truth be told Kyle didn't want him to leave. He wanted both him and Kendall to stay with him. He was scared and wanted his dads here too, but they had other things to worry about. He didn't want to be a burden. He was always a burden.
"I know that look," James said, cutting off his thoughts.
Kyle looked up at him. Was he that transparent? He wanted to ask him to stay, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't want to be selfish. Jenny needed her dads too.
"James you can stay, I can handle Jenny for one night," Kendall said catching on. Kyle's eyes flicked over to him.
"Are you sure," James said, looking between Kendall and Kyle. He took a seat on the endive it the bed.
"Stay, please," Kyle said finally, reaching out but pausing halfway. He pulled his hand back. "If you want."
"Of course I can stay," James said. He took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You are not a burden. You are my son and you know that I would do anything for any one of you kids."
"I didn't-" Kyle started.
"I know that look," James said. "You are important not only to your dad and I, but a lot of other people who have spent the last twenty four hours worrying about you. Sure you've made a few mistakes here and there, but that's how we learn and grow. What have I always told you?"
Kyle gave him a small smile. He knew his dad speech was coming again. James grinned at that. He pulled Kyle into a hug.
"Life is a series of happy mistakes with a few bad ones sprinkled in there," James said. "It's a hill we all have to climb and find our own paths on. You are young. You will get to where you're going eventually, not without some growing pains."
"So that's where that comes from," Jared said. James looked up at him with a smile.
"Yeah, his dad's speech," Kyle said, nodding his head.
"You're the one who turned it into a song," James said with a small smile. "Some of it must be getting through to you."
"I'll go home with Jenny tonight and in the morning we can switch and you can rest," Kendall said walking up to James. He placed a hand on his shoulder.
—Happy Mistakes—
Kendall made his way up to the Mitchell household. He made his way inside. He found everyone in the living room watching movies together.
Carlos jumped up and walked over to him leading him back into the hallway.
"I swear he left before I did, I seriously don't know where Logan is now," Kendall said, putting his hands up.
"Relax, I am here," Logan said, pushing past him. He stopped in front of Carlos. "Marcus caught me before I left. He wanted to run something by me."
"Where's Miles?" Carlos asked.
"I gave up that argument. He's glued to Kyle's side. I gave him one more day, but is coming home tomorrow because he's got school on Monday," Logan said.
"Fine," Carlos sighed.
"Let the kid be, he's worried. We all are," Kendall said.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were going home to sleep," Logan said.
"I'm here for Jenny," Kendall said.
"She's sleeping in the den with Miri and Kenny," Carlos said.
"Thanks," Kendall said. He made his way down to the den. He slowly opened the door and paused when he saw Jenny and Miri standing over Kenny with a sharpie. He had ink all over his face and arms and legs. Jenny and Miri had some ink on their hands and arms as well. "Uh Carlos," he said slowly.
"What?" Carlos said.
"The kids aren't sleeping," Kendall said, "you might want to go get Adam and Cooper."
"Why what happened? They—" Carlos walked down the hallway. Logan followed him. He paused when he saw the kids. "Oops, they were sleeping an hour ago when Adam checked on them."
Logan started laughing as Carlos left to get Adam and Cooper. He turned to Kendall.
"I do not miss that," Logan said.
"Count yourself lucky, I'm just glad that Jenny is our last," Kendall sighed. He walked into the room and took the marker from Miri. "Girls that's naughty. We don't color on Kenny like that, or ourselves."
"I bet they are gonna be artists when they get older," Logan joked.
"Just what we need in the family is more artists. Why can't any of our kids want to be boring stiffs and become doctors or lawyers or something like that?" Kendall asked.
"Because they have yours and James' genes and you two are both very into arts," Logan replied.
"It's a curse," Kendall groaned.
"What's going on?" Adam asked as he walked into the room. He paused as he took in the three kids. "Oh no." He said his jaw dropping.
"Toddlers left alone are the best," Kendall groaned.
"They were sleeping less than an hour ago I swear. I saw them with my own eyes," Adam said as Cooper stopped behind him. A hand flew to his mouth and he took a step back trying not to laugh.
"This isn't funny Coop," Adam said.
"It kind of is," Cooper said, biting at his lips to stop from smiling and laughing.
"I gotta agree with Cooper," Logan said.
"What gets sharpie off?" Adam asked, "last time she did this, everything we found online didn't work and she had it on her stomach for like a week. Rubbing alcohol worked a little bit, but it didn't get it all."
"Give me a minute," Logan said as he turned and left the room.
Adam walked into the room and picked up Miri, "what are we gonna do with you missy?" He asked.
"She's an artist Addie, we need to teach her that for now she can't use people as a canvas," Cooper said as he scooped up Kenny.
"Right," Adam sighed.
"Oh I did not miss this stage," Kendall sighed as he picked up Jenny. He looked at her. "How could you betray me and finally enter your terrible twos?" PPP
—Happy Mistakes—
Carlos made his way up to the condo. He had told Kendall he would check on James today. They had swapped places this morning. Kendall told him so when he dropped off Jenny for the day. It was now afternoon and Carlos hadn't heard from James.
Carlos entered the condo and made his way up to the master bedroom. He knocked before entering. He found the bed a mess and the master bathroom door open. He heard retching coming from within.
"James?" He called out as he approached the door.
James was sitting on the bathroom floor. He was pale and covered in a small layer of sweat too. He glanced up at Carlos. He gave him a weak smile.
"Are you ok?" Carlos asked, walking over to him. He offered him his hand.
"I think I caught a stomach bug," James said, taking his hand.
Carlos helped him to his feet. He placed a hand on James' forehead. "You don't feel warm, that's a good sign."
"I feel like shit," James said.
"You look like shit," Carlos replied.
"Gee thanks," James said.
"Sorry, but maybe it's the stomach flu," Carlos suggested.
"Wouldn't surprise me, I've been trapped at the hospital for the last few days. I would be the one to pick something up," James groaned, leaning against the sink counter. He grabbed his toothbrush. He started brushing his teeth.
"Well on the bright side, at least we are past that stage in our lives where the first question we ask when we find the other puking is, 'are you pregnant?'" Carlos laughed.
"Don't even," James said, shoving the Latino weakly.
"I'm joking, besides are you both nipped?" Carlos asked.
"Yes, right after Jenny," James said, nodding his head.
"So you're heading back to the hospital?" Carlos asked.
"Yeah, I told Kyle I would once I had a couple hours sleep in an actual bed," James nodded his head.
"Mind if I tag along?" Carlos asked.
"Not at all, you know you are always welcome. Our kids are yours too and yours are ours. We are one big family unit, you know that," James said.
"Right, I need to convince my child to come home for a few hours at least," Carlos said.
"He's worried and in love. I don't think you are gonna pry him away from Kyle easily," James said.
"Yeah, I know, but I gotta try," Carlos said.
"Give me a minute to get changed would ya?" James asked.
"I'll be down in the kitchen," Carlos replied.
He left the room. He made his way to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee knowing James would need it. He tossed some toast down as well, figuring it would be good to get a little food in his system without upsetting his stomach too much.
A few minutes later James entered the kitchen looking slightly better than the state Carlos had found him in. Carlos poured him a cup of coffee and handed him the toast.
"Thanks," James said as he sat down at the table. Carlos joined him.
"How are you holding up?" Carlos asked.
"I'm fine," James said.
"James," Carlos said.
"I am," James insisted. Carlos gave him a pointed loom. "Ok, I'm exhausted and worried. Kyle's got brain damage Carlos. He can barely talk, and he's got fine motor problems too. He can't even pick up a spoon without struggling. What if he can't bounce back from this?"
"He will, it's gonna take time and a lot of support but he will get better," Carlos assured him.
"I hope so," James said as he took a sip of his coffee. He made a face as he looked down at the cup. "Ok that's gross what did you do?"
"Nothing, you however just brushed your teeth," Carlos said.
"Oh yeah," James said sheepishly. He laughed at himself. "Right, let's get going," he said, jumping up. He dumped the coffee and snatched the toast from the table.
"You sure you're good to go?" Carlos asked.
"No, I'm still super tired and exhausted, but my son needs me," James said, "I messed up once already and I'm not gonna do it again."
"Ok then, I'll drive," Carlos said.
The drive to the hospital was quick. Carlos kept an eye on James. He really didn't look too good, but he knew nothing he said would keep James from Kyle. James led him inside and up to Kyle's room. They entered and saw Jared and Miles sitting on either side of the bed with Kendall sitting across the room with Logan. No one was talking.
"Carlos," Logan said sitting up.
"Relax, I'm here with James. He needed a ride cause he's still very tired but nothing I said could convince him to get more rest so I drove," Carlos said.
"Why do I feel like we missed something?" James asked, looking between Kendall and Kyle.
"Kyle, anything you'd like to share?" Kendall asked.
James looked over at Kyle confused. Kyle was looking down at his hands as he picked at his blanket.
"Share? No," Kyle said honestly, "but you…you-" he looked to Miles for help.
"You will anyway so you might as well," Miles said for him. Kyle nodded his hand mumbling thanks to Miles.
"Kyle, it would be better coming from you than me," Kendall said.
"What's going on?" James asked Kyle.
"He panicked over labs being taken because he knew they were gonna be abnormal," Kendall said.
Suddenly the monitor in the room started dinging. Everyone looked up to see Kyle's heart was racing. Kyle frowned as he looked away from everyone.
"Kyle," James said.
"Cancer." Kyle replied.
"Come again?" James said.