Disclaimer: My bored Temi Bunny would like to point out that he will eat your homework if any of you even think Bleach is mine. No joke, bunnies actually eat paper –and they oddly have a fascination with eating the New Yorker- so don't risk it.

Thanks.

#CC#

Kaien didn't hate his dad, he really didn't. But the way everyone would always compare him to his orange-haired father rubbed him the wrong way even though his dad always came to the rescue with retorts about how everyone was their own person. He didn't even feel jealous of his dad either, because the things his pseudo aunts and uncles always lamented about their non-similarities were crazy things he didn't even want to know about.

"Hm… your father could make the go- I mean the company, yeah the company, run around like headless chickens when he tried to inva- I mean, meet with the boss without a… meeting."

What was there to be proud of that?

"Kurosaki Ichigo was a fast learner in comba- uh, combustion, yes… science."

So dad had good grades in chemistry, big deal. He's good at physics!

"Sword handling is a great skill to learn! Your father is- was –would be good at it?"

And people thought his Dad –a doctor, ha!- could wield weapons. Like, get real.

So no, he did not hate his dad, nor did he feel jealousy. He was happy to have a successful parent, head of neurosurgery since the tender age of 24 and most well liked doctor in the main hospital. His Dad was amazing, and he knows most kids say so, but he thinks his Dad is the best Dad in the world –not quite a super hero, but close.

Let it not be said, that he hates to disappoint his Dad. So when he one day gets in a fight –by accident, honest!- and his Dad has to come pick him up from the principal's office, he was really ashamed.

Ichigo arrives with a face that Kaien can't even begin to decipher. He doesn't look angry nor irritated, yet he still has a bad feeling about the entire thing, and is obviously nervous when his Dad and the principal speak a couple of hushed words in between them before turning back to him.

He gulps.

"We're leaving Kaien." He tells him calmly, which only makes him panic further.

Even then he follows, and as they walk through the student infested halls –many of them shooting his Dad some awed looks and starry eyed stares- they easily make it to the high school gates where he sees the last person he wanted to see today.

"Well well," the voice drawls pompously "if it's isn't the wittle Kurosaki boy and his pansy daddy."

Kaien instantly bristles, because while he can ignore the taunts, he finds himself oddly annoyed at the jab against his dad.

Ichigo stops on his tracks as well, and merely glances to the side to raise an eyebrow at the bleached blonde teen with an uninterested look.

Kaien feels his respect for his dad raising, he pretty much deemed Oshima Ryuichi, the biggest thug in school a non-threat with a single look.

"Well!" the teen yells.

"Calm down Ryu." A more mature, yet equally disgusting voice interjects, making Kaien turn to see an equally bleached adult with an odd resemblance to Ryuichi. "Let's not get worked up by some scrawny little twit and his daddy."

"Oshima Reiichi." His dad calls out in wonder, and Kaien almost does a double take.

His prim and proper Dad knows this delinquent guy?!

Well, his dad isn't prim and proper, but he's a well-respected Doctor, way above in the food chain when compared to this guy.

The man looks on in confusion as he narrows his eyes before recognition seems to dawn "Kurosaki Ichigo!" he yells before a smile spreads across his face –they have gathered a crowd by now too "It's been ages, hasn't it, buddy." He says sarcastically.

Kaien twitches at the tone, but stays glued to the floor as his dad scowls for all he's worth.

"No wonder my Son got in a fight with yours." The man continued as if undisturbed "He's just as much of an arrogant bastard as you were in high school." Reiichi cackles as he ignores the murderous aura starting to emit from his Dad –what? "Dying his hair like his Daddy, trying to steal my son's style. I bet he wouldn't know about fashionable if it bit him in the ass!"

Almost half a second after the last syllable was uttered, Reiichi was thrown back five feet with incredible force that Kaien could barely even think was possible. Reiichi wobbly stands up as if not knowing what had just happened before his eyes narrow on Ichigo who was barely retracting his arm from his previous punching motion.

"Talk all the crap about me you want," Ichigo began dangerously making Kaien shudder "but the moment you bring in my boy was the second you signed your death sentence." He growls low as his eyes narrow "I hope you're ready, because the beat downs I used to give you back in our high school days, will look like a walk in the park compared to what I'm about to do."

Oshima and Oshima Jr. looked ready to snap as the two charged at the orange head with a yell. Kaien belatedly thinks that maybe he should join in the fray too –you know, father-son duo against father-son duo- but his dad dodged their attacks like if they were snails, and he did an elegant looking side step that had the two tumbling against the loss of balance. He looked like he was egging them on, and before Kaien knew it, Ryuichi was knocked unconscious by a well-placed chop, and Reiichi was beaten to an inch of his life.

Kaien would have felt bad for the man if he weren't so annoyed at what they had said about his dad too. He was about to call out to the elder, when all of a sudden Reiichi stood up with renewed vigor and took out a knife out of seemingly nowhere.

The crowd gasped, and Kaien found himself yelling to his father –who had his back turned!- but before he could even think, let alone move, his Dad did a back step and extended his hand so that the knife could pass neatly between his fingers. The grip on the fisted hand was intense –Reiichi was shaking and grimacing in pain- but before he could stutter out another curse, Ichigo jabbed him with two fingers on the right side of his throat making him crumble like a puppet without strings.

The street was silent as his dad let go of the wrist and dusted his hands before walking back to his side with a clam smile and not a scratch or dust on his white doctor's coat.

The crowd roared to life again, and Kaien found his eyes widening in realization as his father started to maneuver him in the direction of the car.

His dad isn't cool, he is a badass!

"Dad!" he exclaimed in glee "Teach me how to fight!"

Ichigo's smile widened as he ruffled his hair in a way that made him feel embarrassed yet pleased at the same time even though he was 15.

"Sure," he agreed "we can get your aunts and uncles to help."

"Huh?" Kaien questioned as he slid into the passenger seat as Ichigo's smirk turned smug.

"Yeah, and then we can talk about stories of how I invaded the afterlife, or how I learnt combat from a very young age, or even sword handling!" Ichigo cut in unhelpfully as he started to connect the dots of all things his aunts and uncles had tried to censor his entire childhood.

Scratch that, his Dad is a Badass Motherfucker!

Not to continued…

A/N: This came to me when reading family humor FF. And I couldn't make it any shorter…