"Kurama….Uzumaki?" Naruto nearly dropped his keys. Kurama took off the hoodie that was covering most of his face and all of his hair. He looked like the complete opposite of Naruto, almost like a human version of a red fox. "That's impossible, I have no family" Naruto sighed and put his keys in his pockets.

"I thought that too until I found out our parents had another child when I was five," Kurama said.

"That doesn't make any sense, why would they give me up for adoption then? And how did you not know that mother was pregnant?"

"I was with our grandmother the entire time, so-" Naruto rolled his eyes and began walking back to his car.

"Look, I appreciate you coming all this way. If this is some sort of joke then go play it on someone else, I've never had a family and I've always been alone. Got that?" He got into his car and slammed the door in Kurama's face and began driving off.

…

Naruto opened the door to his and Kiba's apartment to see Kiba standing there with an angry look on his face. "Uh- I'm sorry I forgot to pick up Menma today-"

"Are you seeing Sasuke again?" Kiba crossed his arms and began to glare at his best friend.

"What- no- I- how did you-"

"When I went to pick up Menma, he was there chatting away with Menma talking about god knows what. Does he know about Menma, Naruto?"

"No! I promise he doesn't know, I saw him at the supermarket last week and he asked me for coffee and-"

"And you went out with that bastard? He dips on you for 10 years then comes and asks you out on a date and you accept?"

"It wasn't a date! He wanted to explain himself...but I wouldn't let him" "and it turns out Menma and his daughter go to the same school and they are friends"

"His daughter? He's married!? Oh god this man is sick" Naruto sighed and glared back at Kiba."okay okay, finish"

"Yes he's married, but apparently to him, he's not happy. He said he left because his father threatened to kill me unless he joined the family business and got an actual wife who could provide him with children to continue the line. But now he says that he'll work with Itachi so he won't have to listen to him anymore"

Kiba's eyes widened. "Kill you?! What is his dad running? A mafia?"

"I wouldn't put it past him. That man gives off bad vibes"

"Well, are you thinking about going back to him?" Kiba un-crossed his arms and turned his glare into a worried face

"Hey, how about you worry about that date you have with Hinata" That made Kiba blush like someone had just tried to milk him like a cow.

"How did you-"

"You're a sleep talker" Naruto smirked and moved further into the house. "Where's Menma?"

"Asleep. I let him watch this show called Daniel's Tiger and he seemed interested"

"You mean you put it on and watched it with him?" Kiba scoffed and handed Akamaru a bone.

"It's not my fault they make kid shows so interesting" Naruto burst out laughing.

…

Naruto walks into his shared room with Menma and sees him sleeping peacefully in his bed and he smiles. He goes to their closet and begins to grab clothes to sleep in after he showers and realizes one of the shirts he wants to wear is hung up high. "Okay, I got this" he jumps up prepared to get the shirt but ends up grabbing the wrong side of the wrong shirt. The hanger that the other shirt was on flung off the rack and hit Naruto square in the eye.

It takes all of him not to scream out to the heavens and hell knowing that Menma was sleeping still. He holds his face and starts jumping around. He ended up jumping towards the door and hitting his waist on the doorknob, not helping his situation at all.

Now he's holding both his face and his waist, not ready to let a measly hanger and doorknob get the best of him. He lost all his thought when he stepped on one of Menma's stray Legos. He yelled so loud he was surprised the windows didn't crack from the frequency of his (manly) scream.

After a 3-minute scream fest, he peaked over to where Menma was sleeping and found him still knocked out peacefully. He sighed happily knowing he wouldn't have to assure his son he was alright. Honestly, he didn't know why or how that boy slept so hard.

He crawls back further into the closet and glares at the shirt that is still hung up mockingly. "Just you and me you piece of shit" he hears his phone ringing and frowns harder. "Seriously?" He rolled his eyes and limped over to his phone and read then caller ID. It was Sasuke. He answered it with an annoyed groan. "What do you want?"

"Is it so wrong to want to hear your voice, dobe?" Sasuke replied and Naruto knew he had one of those shit-eating face grins on his stupid perfect face.

"What do you want Sasuke"

"I already told you, I want to hear your wonderful voice," Sasuke said sarcastically.

"If you wanted that, you would have called me respectfully. Sarcasm gets you nowhere" Naruto rolled his eyes and just grabbed a different shirt after flipping off the previous shirt he failed to get and walked to the bathroom.

"Hn. what are you doing now?"

"About to take a shower" He grabbed one of his hair clips so he can put the front part of his hair up.

"Are you naked right now? Let's facetime" Naruto dropped the hair clip in surprise and blushed hard.

"N-no! You're a dirty dog Sasuke! And no, I'm not naked!" He could hear Sasuke chuckle on the other end of the phone and he picked up his hairclip.

"Okay so scratch the facetime. How about you tell me about your day instead?"

"Well okay...It was a pretty boring day since it just mostly rained all day...but I did meet this guy who claimed he was my brother. Which made zero sense of course. I think it was just some random guy looking to play a-" Naruto stopped in the middle of his sentence because he could hear a faint groan coming from Sasuke's end. "What the fuck are you doing over there bastard?!"

"I don't think you want to know" Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Well, I didn't ask you for no reason, bastard." He heard another laugh and then the 'ding' you hear whenever you receive a text message. He looked into the app and saw it was Sasuke who texted him. When he opened it his entire face went red. "Why did you send me a picture of your dick you- wait a minute- where you jacking off while I'm on the phone with you?! Dirty bastard!"

"You said you wanted to know" The stupid bastard was snickering! "It's not my fault your voice is so addicting, I'm getting hard again listening to it"

"I-im going to hang up if you don't stop that right now! You have a wife for Christ's sake!"

"Oh don't act like you're not still staring at my dick pic" Well. Sasuke was right, Naruto was still staring.

"I-i wasn't! Bastard!" He turned off his phone and put it down and began taking his clothes off.

"Sure Naruto. Say, remember that sex tape we made?"

"Sasuke, say one more word and I swear I'm hanging up"

"Okay okay" Naruto turned on the shower water and put in his wireless earbuds and got into the shower. "But you have to admit it was hot. I'm watching it now, wanna hear how loud you're moaning Naruto?"

"No, I don't."

"I think you're lying." Naruto hears a click and then a familiar video begins to play on Sasuke's end.

"Naruto are you ready to show the camera how much of a dirty slut you are?"

"Sasuke! Turn it off right now!" He curses in his head remembering how he can't hang up now since his phone is on the counter and his hands are wet.

"Fine" He doesn't hear the tape turn off instead he hears more of it.

"Maybe, maybe you could teach me how to behave like one"

"Or I could I could just fuck it into you-"

"Sasuke!" He hears a loud groan and he knows THAT didn't come from the video. He feels something tap his shoulder and notices his own dick is starting to harden up. "Fuck." He sighs and gives in. Might as well get it over with. He grabbed it and began stroking it. When was the last time he masturbated? He didn't know. All he knew was this felt great. "Hng"

"Oh that sounds like a good idea Sasuke please do" why did they make that stupid thing again?

"Naruto...hmmm" What a bastard. who calls their ex for this? Naruto tried his absolute hardest not to picture Sasuke being the one stroking his cock but his mind wouldn't allow that.

"Sa-Sasuke" He sped up his hand and threw his head back in while groaning "oh god"

"Yes Sasuke right there- oh fuck yes" that tape is so embarrassing. But arousing to hear how much they used to be involved with each other. He sighed happily as he came embarrassingly fast.

"See there Naruto? I just made you cum over the phone. You still want me"

…