When Izuku returned home from the arcade the day before, his mood had lifted somewhat. Plus, his mother was making katsudon - his favorite!
"Wow mom, this looks great!" Izuku said enthusiastically as he sat down to eat. "But what's the occasion?"
"No occasion in particular," Inko mused, "but you seem a bit down lately so I thought it might cheer you up!"
Guilt gnawed at Izuku as he realized his mental state wasn't just affecting him; of course his mother would be worried if she saw something was wrong with him.
"Ah, thanks...I'm sorry to make you worry."
"Don't worry about it, Izuku. How about we watch one of your favorite All-Might documentaries later? It can be as long as you want."
Izuku grimaced slightly as an ill feeling crawled through his stomach and up his spine. "No, that's - I mean - - I have some last minute homework I have to get through, and I want to make sure I get the best grades, y'know?"
Izuku's mom stared at him quizzically for a moment, and honestly Izuku couldn't blame her - he'd never said no to watching All Might before. But right now he'd rather be run over by a truck than look at him, or to hear that same voice that destroyed him that day.
"Oh...that's alright." Inko finally said. "It must be pretty important if you're saying no to All Might, Izuku."
"Yeah, you...have no idea..." Izuku chuckled, feeling hollow inside. He had no homework, to be honest. But his mother always left him alone to study, so at the very least he would have some peace of mind for a little while.
After dinner Izuku retreated to his room, immediately being faced with the wall-to-wall decorations of All Might, smiling that smile that he used to find so inspirational. Now, it was just plain unnerving.
All Might, the number one hero, symbol of justice.
All Might, quirkist poser.
Izuku couldn't take it anymore. He'd had enough. If the number one hero didn't believe in him, then fine, but he didn't need to remember that every time he walked in here. He practically threw himself at the walls before ripping his posters off one by one, followed by his figurines and All Might literature. He couldn't bring himself to throw them away, so he stuffed them in an old large duffel bag and shoved them in his closet. He left all his other hero stuff alone - after all, it wasn't like Hawks or 13 had ever done anything to him. Heroes were still good overall...there was just...a bad apple in the bunch now and then.
"Too bad the bad apples included you, I guess." Izuku muttered, sparing the duffel bag one last glance before shutting the closet door.
It was fine, he told himself. There were still a ton of Heroes and cool quirks for him to analyze. Like Endeavor, or Mirko, or that lady at the convenient store, or...Shigaraki. What was Shigaraki's quirk, actually? It wasn't like he'd exactly been able to ask when they met, but Izuku was curious.
Thinking of Shigaraki, Izuku reached for his phone, but was overcome by an immense headache. His vision grew dizzy, and he found himself having to hold onto one of the corners of his bed to keep from collapsing. His lungs felt like they were barely taking in any air, and he found himself starting to wheeze.
"Shit-! Mom!" Izuku choked out, "It's happening again!"
"Izuku? Oh god!" His mother's muffled voice came from the hallway. He could vaguely hear the sound of water running before her rapid footfalls arrived at his door and his mother burst into the room with a glass of water. She ran over to him and kneeled beside Izuku. "Izuku, here, drink this, it'll be okay!"
Izuku nodded, taking the glass from her before drinking it all in one go. He immediately began to feel better, coughing a few more times before he sat up and looked at his mother wearily. "Thanks mom."
Inko placed her hand against Izuku's head, checking for a fever, though she knew there wouldn't be one. Izuku's condition had been an ongoing issue from around the time he was six. He'd one day began to develop dizzy coughing spells, which usually worsened in particularly dry weather. Initially Inko thought it might be quirk related, but because of Izuku's quirkless diagnosis it was quickly ruled out, the doctor deciding that it was a respiratory condition of some kind. They had given Izuku an inhaler prescription, but when Inko tried to use it on Izuku, it made his breathing worse, and earned him a week-long visit to the hospital. Inko hadn't sued the doctor, but looking back, she sometimes wished she would have - she could use the money to figure out what was wrong with her son. Strangely, the only thing that seemed to help Izuku was drinking water, but no one could explain why. All Inko could do now was help him as much as she could and hope that things would get better.
Inko held Izuku's hands to inspect them. The tips had turned blue, part of Izuku's condition that the doctors suspected came from a lack of oxygen."Your fingers are turning blue again...make sure your gloves are on this week during school, okay?"
"Yeah, I will mom, thanks."
Inko looked at Izuku with a serious expression. "Izuku...are you sure you still want to apply to UA? The Hero Studies program is phenomenal, but if you're out there training and something happens to you, they might not be able to help you in time."
Izuku looked back at her with a somber expression. His mother had a point, but he was also reminded of what All Might had said to him on the rooftop. "I...I was kind of thinking of that. I don't want to die, not from something so stupid. I don't want to put you through that. Or anyone else. But, I still want to help people, even if I can't fight."
"What do you mean, Izuku?"
"Well...UA has a General Studies course, right? And a Support course as well. I think I could still help a lot if I did either of those!"
Inko beamed at her son. "I think that's a great idea, Izuku!"
Izuku was about to respond when his mother caught sight of the bare walls, now that her mind was no longer in an alarmed state.
"Izuku...where are your All Might posters? And-and your books? And your figurines? Is everything okay?"
"No, no, everything's fine, really!" Izuku said nervously as he watched his mother searching the room and slowly getting closer to the closet. "I just, I - I gave it all away! Yeah!"
"I'm sorry?" Inko did not look convinced.
"I-it's a long story, but therewasthisdonationthingandIwantedtohelp! So I...gave it...to them?" Izuku grinned nervously.
Inko frowned, then sighed. "While admire you wanting to help people, that was...a bit much. We're going to get it back. I've spent too much money on it and you have so many memories, it's not right. Where were these donation people?"
Shitshitshitshit- "I can't. They left earlier today."
"Mmhmm." Inko stared at her son, trying to figure out if he was lying or just plain stupid.
Well, she knew he wasn't stupid. Definitely lying. But she could confirm that with Mitsuki later. Her son and Izuku went to the same school, after all.
"Get some sleep, okay Izuku?"
"Sure mom," Izuku said, relieved that his mom seemed to be letting the subject go. "Thanks for the water."
Inko's expression softened. "Of course. I love you."
Izuku watched his mom go, smiling for a minute before guilt ate at him. He wanted to talk to her honestly, tell her that he might hate All Might now, that the thought and sight of him made him feel sick. But he knew that people who expressed opinions like that were often accused of being villain sympathizers, which led to a number of incidents which included bullying, stalking, physical violence, and much worse. He wouldn't dare put himself in that situation.
But...Shigaraki had. Shigaraki felt what he felt, and that gave him a sort of peace. Perhaps Shigaraki was a villain sympathizer. But if he listened to him, maybe he could understand?
It was stupid, but he wanted to understand.
Izuku pulled out his phone and opened up the messenger. With barely a second thought, he began typing.
[Midoriya] Hey Shigaraki, I hope you get this message. Can we talk again soon? -Midoriya.
With that, he sent the message, and got ready for bed before giving into the gift of sleep. When he woke up the next morning and saw Shigaraki's response, he froze momentarily.
[Shigaraki] Sure, pipsqueak. Did you have somewhere in mind?
"I didn't think he'd actually respond..." Izuku muttered to himself. He glanced at the clock watching the hands move as the seconds ticked by. It read 6:45 am. He could probably meet Shigaraki before school, but he didn't know how far away he lived, and if he was coming from somewhere farther away, it could make him late. Izuku decided it was probably better to meet Shigaraki after school, so he decided to go with that.
[Midoriya] Yeah.
Izuku paused for a moment, thinking. If they were going to talk about All Might, they needed somewhere where they wouldn't be overheard easily, but also some sort of public area, incase, well, Shigaraki turned out to be some kind of nutjob. Making up his mind, he began to type again.
[Midoriya] Could we meet up at Aldera Park? I can be there by 3:30 this afternoon.
There was a pause before Shigaraki responded.
[Shigaraki] Deal. See you later, shorty.
The school day had gone like any other. Bakugou and a bunch of his punk friends had cornered him in the classroom taunting him with jeering remarks to put him in his place, ending with Bakugou leaving a bunch of scorch marks on his desk - again. If the teacher noticed, he didn't say anything. He wouldn't. Not for some quirkless nobody like him. But if Izuku ever was perceived to be in the wrong he often found himself threatened with detention - and expulsion, on the odd occasion.
Besides for the confrontation in the classroom, school was pretty uneventful. Izuku couldn't help the sigh of relief he let out as the bell rang, and he packed his things to head out. As he picked up his bag, he felt his phone buzz. Taking it out of his pocket, he found himself greeted with a text from Shigaraki.
[Shigaraki] See you in 30?
Izuku didn't need to look at the clock; school always ended at 3 pm, after all.
[Midoriya] Yeah! I'll be there :)
As Izuku left the school, he found himself in high spirits, although several of his schoolmates watched him disdainfully. But that was nothing new. He walked out of the school doors, and allowed himself a small smile, looking forward to meeting Shigaraki.
"Oi! What are you so happy about, you damn nerd?"
And just like that, his smile evaporated. Of course Bakugou had to be here.
"It's nothing, unless...you're interested in some new hero theories I've come up with?" Izuku knew there was no faster way to get Bakugou off of his case than to start geeking out. As predicted, Bakugou rolled his eyes with a "tch" noise.
"Of course it was your nerd bullshit, should've known."
"I'll take that as a no, then?" Izuku said hopefully, slowly walking past Bakugou. "I'll see you tomor-"
"Wait."
Izuku faltered in his step before turning to look at Bakugou, wondering why he was still trying to talk to him. Bakugou never wanted to be around Izuku if he could help it, and they both knew it.
"What...what is it, Kacchan?"
Bakugou held up his phone, showing a series of texts from his mother, Mitsuki. "Auntie came over to my place this morning. She wanted to know about some shitty 'donation' service. She also said that you dumped all your All Might crap with them. Which is BULLSHIT, because there was no fucking donation service anywhere near here."
"How do you know that? There was-" Izuku started, but was quickly cut off.
"Hey! I do charity work every week, so don't give me that 'how do you know' bullshit. People aren't stupid, you damn nerd! So fess up and be honest about it - what the hell is going on, Deku?"
"It's none of your business, Kacchan. Anyway it's just stupid junk, so why do you care?"
Bakugou gritted his teeth angrily, but he seemed slightly stricken but what Izuku had said. He knew Izuku better than anyone, and he'd never dare call anything related to All Might "junk".
"What...what the fuck are you talking about?" Bakugou stammered, angry and confused.
Izuku looked at the time on his phone. 3:10. He had to get going before Kacchan held him up anymore. "I have to go. See you at school tomorrow."
Before Bakugou could say anything else, Izuku hurried past the school gates and onto the street, leaving Bakugou dumbstruck.
"What the actual fuck, Deku?!" Izuku heard him yell from down the street, but he didn't stop to look back. He knew that in his own way, Bakugou was worried for him, but he wouldn't let himself dwell on it too much.
Izuku made it to the park about five minutes til 3:30. Sitting on a park bench, he occasionally drank from a water bottle - he always had one or two on him, just in case. It wasn't long before he heard footsteps approaching, followed by the newly familiar sound of a scratchy voice.
"Hey, short stuff. Missed me already?"
Izuku chuckled as he turned to face the ashy-haired teen. "Thanks for coming, Shigaraki."
Shigaraki shrugged before he chose to sit down. Izuku couldn't help but notice that Shigaraki seemed...tired. Before he could say anything, Shigaraki sighed and began to speak.
"So. I assume you wanted to continue our conversation from yesterday?"
Izuku's focus was brought back and he nodded. "What happened between you and All Might exactly?"
"Well...some years back, I decided to try and trust the guy. I thought he could help me. But he used me instead to get to someone else. And he tried to kill them."
Izuku's face paled, and his eyes widened as he took in what Shigaraki said. "What? That's...why would he do that?"
"Well..." Shigaraki paused for a second, considering what to say next. He seemed to make up his mind, but he spoke his next words at a lower register, as if gauging Izuku's reaction. "...the guy he went after wasn't exactly heroic."
Oh. Oh, shit.
"He was a villain." Izuku said in a very matter-of-fact way. Shigaraki nodded. He watched Izuku with a guarded look in his eyes, as if he was anticipating Izuku running off and never speaking to him again. Instead, Izuku nodded, his undivided attention on Shigaraki. "I'm listening. Tell me what happened."
Shigaraki stared at Izuku with bewilderment. "You're not going to run? Aren't you some morally goody-two-shoes or something?"
"Of a sort." Izuku shrugged. "But I figured something like this was the case."
"Why are you talking to me, then?" Shigaraki's eyes narrowed.
"Because I want to."
Shigaraki stared at Izuku for a minute before letting out a strained "pfft", as if he were trying not to laugh. "You're fucking weird, hero boy. But alright. It was about five years ago when everything happed."