Chapter 5: A Thousand Deaths

I was directed to the coliseum again today. I didn't resist, I just sedately walked there. I kept my eyes down, and my posture hunched over. I could have made them drag me, but what would be the point? It would only bring me more pain.

"You face subject 235 today, I hope you don't disappoint us once more." The man spoke into the intercom, traces of amusement lacing his voice. The young girl across from me instantly began charging up her biotics. I paused for a moment, thinking. I could just let it happen, let her win, but I'm not sure that would work. As much as they claim it's an even fight, the matches have been stopped several times when I'm about to lose. If that's the case, and I have every reason to believe it is, then there's no point in losing the fight. Either way, I'll be punished, and I still might kill her. I rationalise it as best I can, trying to silence that small voice inside me saying I'm wrong, that there is another way. I ignore it as best I can, closing my eyes to concentrate.

I take a deep breath and hold it. Then I pull the trigger inside my head, and grasp the potential inside of me, bringing it out to the world. It whirls around me, and I snap my eyes open, condensing the energy around my hand even as I thrust it forward, blasting the attack towards the girl. She's managed to form that barrier technique around her, the one I failed to learn. I refuse to try again, maybe one of my opponents will get lucky.

My blast strikes her before she can dodge. Her eyes had only widened by the time it hit her, but she didn't have the time to move out of the way before it struck her dead centre. It threw her back for a moment, but then the blast exploded into a wave of concussive might. The brief flash of light barely even phased me as I continued to watch. That is the one thing I can give them. I will not look away, I will not ignore what I do, like the drugs made me do. I will accept the consequences of my actions.

While her barrier may have held for a moment, it couldn't withstand the might of the explosion. She was such a young girl, years younger than even I. I was one of the younger subjects here as well. She hasn't had the training the others have, and it showed. The dust cleared to show her sprawled out on the ground, her eyes open, but lifeless. Her chest was mostly gone, a hole the damage my attack had done to her.

I hope it was quick, and I hope she found peace. They can't torment her anymore. I … can't torment her anymore.

She was the first of my many victims.

I was given a reprieve for but three days before I was called once more. That fight wasn't any harder than the other was. But his face haunted me all the same as hers did. As the rest did.

In those early days, I was fighting near constantly, some were harder than others, some easier. It didn't matter who I faced, none could match up to me. I'm starting to believe there was a reason I was separated from the rest of the kids, I was different in some way. The best fights I had were when my opponents would dodge, they were the smart ones, the ones who could calm their nerves before the fight. There were far too few of those though, and dodging seemed to be a lacking ability among my opponents, at least at first. And if they didn't dodge? Few could withstand one of my weaker blasts, none could withstand two. I don't know how many I killed in that year, too many. Their faces all blend together, indistinct. After a while, I stopped remembering them, their faces blurry to my memory, and I lost count of how many it had been.

I hate to say it, but I think the scientists were culling them, the weak, and I was their tool. I can't see why else I fought so many, so many that couldn't fight back. They don't serve the nominal purpose the scientist gave for thee death matches. They didn't deserve it though, I can say that much.

I had another fight today, I was standing across from another of the subjects after receiving my injection, I don't remember his number. I don't really remember any of them anymore, any but mine. The injections began again for some reason, I don't know why, but does it even matter? He was just another one of the lambs sent to slaughter. I'm not sure how much the injection affects my memory, they don't seem to do much anymore aside from numbing me and providing a pleasant tingle until it wears off. I certainly don't get much in the way of side effects once the injection wears off.

"Begin."

I keep my body loose as I charge up the attack, I don't waste any time before launching it at the boy, but he had been paying attention because as soon as I did, he stopped his own technique to leap out of the way. It's a good thing he did, as the ball of biotic potential left a blackened scar on the barrier behind him. It had been a while since the guards remained anywhere close to the ring's edges, instead they watched from the walls of the room in relative safety.

I continued to track the boy with my eyes, raising an eyebrow at his actions. He was watching me in return, his face pensive as he stared at me, waiting for me to move. Interesting, I haven't seen one like this in a while, they normally give in to the stress and try to throw everything they can at me. I've made a game of intercepting their blasts with my own, it's more convenient than having to jump out of the way.

We both stand there for a minute, but he doesn't seem to be doing anything and I can't risk waiting any longer before anyone watching gets antsy. Hardening my eyes, I began to concentrate, and my biotics swirled around me. I punched my right arm forward and released a small ball of force instantaneously. The boy gasped and tried to move out of the way, but he didn't have time. I had picked up this trick to form my attacks almost instantly, it didn't pack much power as evidenced by the size, but it was quick and took little energy out of me. In recent times I had been focusing much more on that sort of thing in these fights, my stronger blasts more than powerful enough for them.

The attack connected with his arm, but the barrier surrounding him didn't shatter. When did he get that up? Instead, he twirled around, pivoting on one foot, before regaining his balance to face me. He stood warily, tense as he continued to watch, but I could see the tightening of his eyes, the heavier breathing. He was nervous.

I refuse to drag this out, so I began forming a barrage to throw at my opponent. He dodged many of them by refraining from returning fire, putting all his focus and energy into dodging, he still didn't remain unscathed as I could form the attacks with each punch of my arm, on either arm. Each blow shook him, but his shield held. What's going on? I've never launched this many attacks before. He's dodged more than any other I've ever faced and has withstood more as well. Why is he different from the others? He's so much … better than they were. I need to get serious here, so I began to run forwards, throwing the blasts all the while. This kept him distracted as I closed in until it was almost too late. When I was only a metre away from him, I sheathed my hands in their electric blue casing and threw the first punch at his widened eyes.

He groaned at the impact with his cheek, he tried to dodge but he is clearly less experienced at close range than I am. Pity it's my specialty. Still, his barrier held, I saw it flicker but that was it. I connected a body blow next after fainting with my other hand, but he did not fall, his barrier did not fail. I pulled back to launch a massive haymaker, trying to finish this. It connected with a crack, and I finally noticed his barrier taking damage, when his own fist connected with my unguarded front.

The blow forced me back, wheezing as I struggled to remain on my feet. The blow knocked the wind out of me, and the sharp pain in my chest signalled the damage he'd done. Even with all my effort to remain alert, I closed my eyes for a second at the shock. I would have been easy pickings, but when I opened my eyes I found him on his back, coughing. My blow was evidently much stronger than his.

My blood was pumping, the adrenaline racing through my veins! I hadn't had such a good fight in a long time, I'd almost forgotten what it was like. Nevertheless, I will win. I prod my chest a few times to see how much it hurt and grimaced at the answer. I'd rather not finish this in a melee fight, so tine to bring out the stronger stuff. Walking back a few metres, I pulled the trigger in my head and let my energy flow, condensing it over my right hand as I charged up the attack, releasing it momentarily. I wanted this to end with one blow, I didn't want him to suffer, so I put a good amount of energy into it. The blue ball flew towards my still down opponent, who barely had the time to scream before it landed with an explosion of force. The wind buffeted me for a moment, and the flash of light blinded me. I had to blink the spots out before returning my gaze to the impact zone.

I may have gone a bit overboard, in hindsight. There was a crater in the ground a metre and a half wide, with almost no remnants of my opponent left, just a few small red chunks, and a lot of blackened ones.

Finding the fight finished, I closed my eyes and sighed. Another fight finished, another one gone. It didn't affect me the same way it used to, I had done this too many times for that, but it still left me saddened. This fight was a little different though, harder. That had to be for a reason. I grimaced as I turned towards the scientists' window.

"Are you injured, subject zero?" the man asked. They don't normally care, something's off. I thought better of not answering him.

"A cracked rib, I believe. That is all." I spoke softly, but they somehow still heard me, they always heard me.

"Acknowledged. Return to your room, you will be going through a procedure tomorrow. Testing will not resume till after you recover." The man dismissed me, and I turned around.

I can't bring myself to smile at the news, but it is pleasant to know. The procedures that used to haunt me so, they are my reprieve. I haven't gone through many this year, or much normal testing, but they provide a break from the fights. I need a week or so to recover from every procedure, and after that they begin testing me. Each procedure they've put me through recently has almost been a gift, I've even started to look forward to them, in a strange way.

They don't weigh on me like the fights do. I don't have to hurt anyone else, the only one hurt is me and that's just how I like it. Still, I wonder if the coming procedure had anything to do with the fight today. I should have faced someone stronger much earlier than now if the point of the fights is to test me. Presumedly, he was a test for me, to test my strength. Does that mean there are going to be more experiments? I can't say. But I can hope. Anything's better than the fights.

This was a big one, I could tell. They had numbed me completely before the procedure began, knocking me out, and I was still largely numb from the neck down. I wonder what it was this time. Considering how much of me is numbed I can imagine it was in multiple locations, or it covered a big portion of my back. Either way, it means a particularly long recovery time, and since it seems to be a serious procedure, a lot of testing. I like these sorts of procedures.

I was given more than 2 weeks on my own to recover, and I was glad for it. It allowed me to just relax in my room, read my books and watch the other children.

Watching them is a double-edged sword though, it brings back memories of what I've done every time I look at them, but at the same time watching their freedom is the closest I'll ever get to my own. There are less than there used to be, noticeably less if I think back a year ago. I'm pretty sure more are missing than I killed but I can't be certain, my memory isn't as good as it could be in those regards. I try not to remember the fights, to dwell on them as little as possible. It helps a little bit if I pretend I don't care.

The children aren't as happy as they used to be. Sure, they run around, talk to each other, smile and I even hear the occasional laugh, but it's not like it was The screams of joy, of innocent children are now absent. They lack that same youthful exuberance they once had, and while it could be because the average age of the subject has increased, I doubt it.

I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but dwell on my thoughts during these down times, thinking of the past. I am only left alone to recuperate after all. That means I need something to recuperate from, and my tender spine certainly fits the criteria. I'm not sure quite how bad it is as the area is still numb, I think they left something in me after the procedure as the feeling is slowly fading away as I heal, but I can't check. It's frustrating to not know, but there are no mirrors in my room and my back twinges any time I try to reach around to check. I can only go off what I'm feeling, which isn't as accurate as I would hope it to be.

"Subject Zero, you are to destroy as many targets as you can, as fast as you can. Do not waste your energy." The man ordered, keeping his eyes on his data-pad. Once again, I was in the testing room standing in my designated circle. The targets were in the same location they normally would be, but there was far more than normal. I'm not going to count them, but there looks to be upwards of 30. I've never used more than 10 before, so it's quite a step up. All the same, it frustrates me, these tests. They haven't changed much in a long time, the difficulty has largely remained stagnant, leaving me bored. Sure, there's a lot of them, but with how much I hold back now, they aren't that difficult.

I both want to ask for a harder test and am afraid of doing so. To ask could only be tempting fate, when all the most recent new tests have just had me fighting other subjects. I don't want to do that more than I already do. My rate of improvement has long outstripped the difficulty of these tests, but the scientists seem to be unaware of that. I don't dare tell them, fearing what they would ask me to do next.

Focusing on the targets, I began using my normal stance and released my blasts using both hands, alternating. I had to charge for a short amount of time as these targets were durable and I had to destroy them completely, but regardless I finished the set amount in a short amount of time. The end of the test left my chest heaving, but not from exertion as one might believe. It was due to the adrenaline increasing my breath. I can't help it, using my biotics … excites some small part of me. I keep my face blank out of habit, but I can't hide the other effects. I was shortly dismissed after the test finished, the scientist discussing among themselves the results.

I had predicted right, the fights did get harder after the last one. It seemingly signalled the change, as the fights were harder, but also less frequent. Maybe I really was culling the weak before now. I am glad that the fights were less frequent then before, but I'm also a little ashamed to admit I was glad the fights became more interesting, they no longer bored me.

They challenged me in a way that nothing else did now. I was never taught any new techniques, and I was afraid to try and learn them myself by the time the idea crossed my mind. I could always feel the deep well of potential within me, brimming with power and begging to be released. The thought of doing so frightened me, of the sheer destruction I could cause.

I learnt my techniques when I wasn't as powerful as I now am, and the constant practice allowed me to retain control. Sadly, since I couldn't learn any new techniques, I had to keep fighting using my old ones. That was all well and good for my shielding, but my blasts suffered for it. The issue is, while I kept growing stronger, my surroundings didn't. This imposed a limit on the power of my blasts far quicker than I would have liked, and the barriers of my opponents only seemed to grow stronger. Their dodging only grew better, and their minds only ran quicker. They kept trying new tricks on me, each opponent different than the last.

My limits meant I was forced to fire barrages of biotic blasts at them, but rarely was that effective. At the very least, the stronger I got, the better my shielding was. It wasn't quite at the same rate, as constantly flowing energy into my barriers drained my focus, but the point remains. My shielding was impenetrable to my opponent, but it also only covered my forearms. It was the only advantage I held, that and my stamina.

This posed an issue considering the lengths my opponents were willing to go. No longer were they frightened of being in the ring with me. Now, they were angry. It wasn't always obvious, but as time went on the fights grew more viscous. They started to target my weaknesses wherever they could, trying to strike my unguarded body. They used blasts, their fists, and their feet. All I could do was dodge or block their attacks using my forearms. I was good, better than I had any right to be at unarmed combat, but I wasn't perfect, I could make mistakes. Mostly, it was enhanced blows that slipped through my guard, whether they be using fists or feet.

These missed blows hurt, I had broken my ribs many times and been left bruised too many times to count, but the exotic attacks were more dangerous. I had only been hit by a blast twice. The first time, I wasn't prepared for it and a small attack managed to strike my leg. The leg barely held my weight and was horrifically bruised. I now had a large scar on that leg covering half of my calf, an ugly pale thing that was thankfully rather smooth, it didn't stand out too much on my pale limb. The second time wasn't any better, but I was prepared for it. I saw it coming and blocked using my forearm, the issue is I misjudged the attack. It exploded on contact with me, something I had forgotten about in my haste, which left me burned on my entire upper arm and part of my shoulder. This one didn't scar as it was only the indirect blow that caught me, but all the same it taught me that dodging the blasts was top priority, even if I had to accept a fist to the face to do so. At least I was used to that.

It was only recently that I saw a new 'slice' attack. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.

I flung a blast at the girl, then leaping to the side to dodge the one she had sent back at me. She dodged mine as well, jumping to the side and both of our attacks hit the barriers instead.

I stood there, watching her for a moment, looking for any weakness. She wasn't breathing very hard, and she wasn't favouring anything so none of the attacks that landed had left any damage. It was a similar situation to me albeit with more dodging, and we both began charging up the next attack simultaneously.

I charged mine a little longer than her, letting her fire first, but it was on purpose. Aiming carefully, I fired my own attack directly at hers, intercepting it. For a moment they warred against each other, identical in size, but mine quickly took over, subsuming hers before continuing. My opponent hesitated at the sight, dodging at the last moment but she was too late to be fully successful. The blow skimmed her leg and exploded on contact, flinging her to the side in an uncontrolled tumble.

I didn't waste time to check how injured she was and sprinted towards her, my barriers charging up. We had been in a stalemate for a few minutes by this point, flinging attacks and dodging or tanking them respectively, so I wasn't going to waste the opportunity her surprise gave me. I wouldn't get the chance again.

I closed in on the girl as she stood up, but that was all she had time to do. Having gotten close enough, I threw the first punch at her, which she deflected to the side with only a little difficulty. I'd expected that, having controlled my strength to keep my balance so I could throw the next one. In recent times, the opponents I faced had seemingly gotten stronger. No more was I a physical match for them, I struggled to block as well. I figure it's a biotic technique that nobody will teach me how to do, because every opponent I now face seemingly knows it.

By necessity, I had to change my fighting style up. Before, I would sometimes trade blows to win the fight, block far more and overall use an aggressive approach. I couldn't do that anymore, it was too risky. While their strength wasn't enhanced too much, it was significant enough that blocking hurt. It meant I had to be careful, to be patient in these fights when I entered close range. I still had to do so frequently as my biotic blasts were almost obsolete now, they weren't strong enough to power through the barriers quick enough to be useful. It had turned some of these matches into endurance competitions, which I hated doing so I tried to avoid them whenever possible.

That meant physical matches, matches were I had to slowly wear away at my opponents' guards. I would use small blows to throw them off balance and give myself the openings I needed to finish the fights. My barriers had only grown stronger with time, and I had found nothing that could get through them anymore. The only limitation behind my punches was the strength of my arm, but a heavy blow to the head or the gut would finish most quite nicely.

Shifting with the deflection, I lead with my other fist as I stepped forward into her guard. She blocked this one too, but I was too close to her, she couldn't deflect so instead she had to hold her arm in front of mine. While that hand was occupied I committed to my next punch to her head. I almost got her, but she unfortunately reacted fast enough to block this one too. Both her hands were in reach though, so I grabbed onto them tightly and flexed my core, pulling her down even as I lifted my right knee as a counterbalance. This one she didn't see, so I managed to solidly connect with her stomach, knocking the wind out of her. She was wheezing in my ear, hunched over from the blow, so I gave her no chance to recover. I repeatedly kneed her in the stomach, blow after blow landing solidly as I tried to finish the fight.

In my haste, I stopped paying so much attention to how alert she was and failed to catch her activating her biotics. The exotic blue glow in the corner of my eye alerted me to the danger, and I pushed her away as quickly as I could, extending my knee into a brutal kick to further distance myself. It was here I made another mistake. As the girl was launched back, I saw her arm swinging down at me, a long, thin projection of blue energy coming off her hand humming dangerously. I watched the projection flicker, the shifting fields within grinding against each other with a soft hum, as she lowered her arm. I wouldn't have seen her attack in time if I hadn't kicked her away as well, doing so saved my life, but it came at a cost.

My leg was still outstretched from the kick as time slowed down. I began pulling it back as fast as I could, but her arm was too close. The blade inched closer and closer to my leg, and in the end I didn't manage to escape in time. The projection passed through my leg halfway down my shin. To my perception, nothing happened at first, it seemed like the world slowed down, everything fell still, and time stopped. Then it started again, and everything started falling apart.

I could only watch with dread as, even while I fell back, part of me fell forward, hitting the ground with a thud. I didn't even feel it at first, I just sat there, staring, but even as my leg began to burn, the pain agonising, movement above me drew my eye and I saw my opponent getting up. I had knocked her onto her back when kicking her away and judging by how slowly she was standing up I must have hurt her, but that doesn't help me.

I grit my teeth, groaning through them as the full feeling hit me, but I didn't have time for it so I ignored my leg as best I could. Squinting through the pain, I thought about standing up, but decided against it. I am a little lopsided after all, I would lose my balance. What can I do? I can't stand up, so I have to attack using my biotics. I started charging up a blast as my opponent finally stood up, fixing her eyes on me, pushing all I could into the blast in a short amount of time I fired it at the girl.

It was a big one, the ball of restrained power flying rapidly through the air, faster than I'd ever thrown before. It looked like it was going to hit the girl when she raised her hand, still surrounded by the projection, to block the attack. Just as it reached her, she sliced the blade in front of her, exploding my attack early. The explosion was deafening, booming through the air, wind buffeting me, but it didn't stop her. Her barrier flickered violently and she stumbled, gritting her teeth, but she kept moving, now running towards me.

What do I do? Barrier, no. Another blast? I didn't have the time to charge one that powerful. What can I do? I pulled on the well of energy within me as she closed in, desperate to do something, anything. As she appeared over me, her arm stretching out before her, I swung my arm forward while pulsing the swirling energy around me, hoping for a miracle. The pulse released from me in a shockwave of biotic might, catching the girl by surprise and throwing her across the ring, slamming her into a barrier with a crunch. The energy expenditure left me feeling weak, though that may be the blood loss, but before my eyes shut without my permission I managed to see the result of my last-ditch effort. The girl was buried in the concrete barrier, blood weeping out of her mouth as she remained there, choking for the final time, her eyes staring at me with now blatant hatred.

I woke up an undetermined amount of time later in one of the special recovery rooms rather than my own. My throat felt dry, parched. My eyes were gummed up and crusty, and there was a fierce pounding in my head. Groaning softly, I opened my eyes and took stock of my surroundings, the same pale white walls I remember. I was alone, so I released the tension present in my frame before sighing and closing my eyes for a moment.

What happened? I remember passing out after I threw my opponent across the room, why was I so desperate? Wait, the slicing technique the girl had, the one I've never seen before. She used it to –

She cut off my leg! No, this can't be happening. It was a dream, a nightmare, yes that's what it was. I would hurt far worse if it had happened. Taking stock of my body, I found no aches or pains aside from my head, in fact I could barely feel anything. Why don't I feel anything? In that moment, my right leg throbbed painfully. I'm only in this room when I'm recovering from something serious.

Dreading the answer, I opened my eyes and craned my head, looking down my body. Sitting there, at the end of the bed, was a bandaged stump staring back at me, far shorter than the leg beside me. It … happened. She cut off my leg. Don't the scientists normally stop things like that happening? I thought I was there 'valuable experiment.' Am I, not? I start to breath heavily, gasping for air that never seemed to come. This choking brought back painful memories that only spiralled out of control until I blacked out once more.

Losing my leg was a wakeup call for me. I had gotten into a routine, self-assured of my victory. I didn't think there was anything the other kids could do to truly harm me, nothing that would truly affect me. Yes, I had been scarred, but scars didn't have the same gravitas that this did. It was evidence of my arrogance, my false belief in my superiority.

That realisation shook me almost as much as losing my leg did. I subconsciously believed that the scientists would stop anyone from truly hurting me, afraid to lose their prime experiment, which I was, it was obvious to me now.

I thought that until the day that girl sliced off my leg. I don't know what happened to her, had no way of finding out, but I fear for what they did to her, what pain they inflicted upon her. Losing my leg wasn't something I could just shake off, it's not something that could be healed from in a week. It's not something you ever healed from.

Learning to live with it was a struggle, I was given a crutch to use but I often found myself forgetting about it. It was so easy to forget about the missing leg, especially when I woke up. I would get up out of the bed and go to take a step onto a foot that was no longer there and find myself sprawled out on the floor, the knowledge immediately coming back to me. I hated losing my foot, but at the same time I was grateful, at least a little bit. As an amputee, I was in no state to fight anyone and thus I fought no one else for a long time, until they replaced my old foot.

They never asked me about it, but one day I was taken for another experiment, something I had been going through a lot of since the day. Since I couldn't fight, they didn't waste time, instead using it to further enhance me. I'm not sure how much since I couldn't use the upper bounds of my power, I was barely even tested aside from speed tests. Then one day, I went to sleep for an experiment, and woke up with a metal cap at the end of my right leg. A week later, a mechanical foot was installed into said cap.

Learning to walk again hurt, the nerve endings of my leg were still present and pressing into the metal cap. All my weight could be pressed down on it and while that was debilitatingly painful, eventually the nerve endings deadened until I no longer felt it, at least too much. My leg would still flare up occasionally, but I was more than used to that level of pain, I could ignore it.

The good news with the leg is that, because it was amputated halfway down my shin, my knee muscled were left unaffected. Ignoring the pain, adjusting to the new foot wasn't even that hard, it acted just like my old one. I'm not sure how it was made, but even though I will deny it if asked, it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. The entire foot was a mechanical marvel made of some extremely durable metal, I don't know what, and appeared like a smooth armoured boot, the size of my other foot. I could wear shoes with it, and if I wore armour I don't think you'd even be able to tell.

I guess I'm also fortunate enough that I lost my foot when I did, I'm old enough that I've almost reached my full height, as best I can tell. I haven't been able to discern any noticeable height difference in a few months at the very least, so I shouldn't outgrow the foot.

It's been about 6 months since the amputation happened, and I've spent a large portion of that time locked in my room. At times it feels like the scientists have forgotten me, I could spend weeks without any contact with them, and that left me cooped up in my room with books I had long memorised. All that left me to do was watch the children outside of my window.

I've noticed something that saddens me about that though. As time goes on, there are less and less children. When I was young, I can remember the yard being crowded with playing kids. When I first started killing them, there was a noticeable decrease in the amount of children, but they still took up the entire yard. These days, they only took up half of it and none of them played anymore. They all sat around, huddled together.

The laughter had long faded, and that is perhaps what saddens me most. Listening to their joy always helped me, even when I was at my worst. I could be sleep-deprived, in pain from an operation and dwelling upon all those I had killed, but the sound of that laughter soothed me. It made things … better. The jagged edges not so sharp, the emptiness in me not so vast. The moment I realised I hadn't heard any laughter in a month was a dark day, it was the first time I cried in a long time. I'm not sure who it was for, me, or their lost happiness.

I was still asleep when it happened. A loud bang interrupted my slumber, shocking me awake. My eyes snapped open at the sound, and I darted my eyes around the room looking for what caused it. Finding nothing, I stood up and began searching for the cause. I could faintly hear sharp bursts of what I could only assume is gunfire and more explosions, but where.

First putting my shoes on and tying them firmly, I walked over to the door, I found the corridor outside empty for the first time in a decade. Something's wrong, I wouldn't have been left alone if it wasn't. Still, I wonder what happened? I looked through the door intently, looking at all my eyes could see before stepping back, finding nothing. Alright, there's nothing that way, what about in the courtyard?

Turning around I walked sedately to the window and took my usual seat, gazing out the window only to find a battlefield. The children were all attacking the guards, using there biotics to attack and defend themselves. The guards were using there guns with deadly effect, even as I watched a few of the kids were mowed down. What are they doing? Don't they know they'll be punished for this? I wouldn't want to be them once they're defeated. Something's bothering me though, I only just noticed it. The sounds of the battle are louder than they should be, and is that … wind? Caressing my cheek. How …? I stood slowly, shuffling towards the window, looking closely at the edges, they were jagged.

I raised a trembling arm, and slowly extended in front of me. I encountered no resistance. Taking a step forward, I found no resistance. Raising my other arm and waving it around in front of me, I found no resistance. Finally, taking a deep breath, I stepped over the raised ledge through the barrier that held me back for so long. The ground crunched beneath my shoe as I stepped out, the remains of the window scattered on the ground.

I stood there, just looking around. I could feel the wind caressing my entire body, I closed my eyes and just breathed for a moment. I was in the courtyard, I'd wanted to be here for so long, and now I was. The scientists were never going to let me back here, yet here I am.

Here I am, despite the scientists' orders. Did the other children do this? This can't have been allowed, yet it still happened anyway. Is there …? Is there a … chance, that the kids won't lose? Looking around, I see the ground littered with corpses, but they aren't all children. There are guards scattered through them as well. Come to think of it, why did my window break? There isn't anybody nearby that I can see. Turning around, I spot an injured child, the blood still flowing from his neck. Stepping over to him, I kneel amongst the debris to shake him, garnering no response. Just as I'm about to stand up, something catches my eye. It's … my eye. What?

Looking closer, I wave my hand in front of the shard to be sure. Yep, it was reflecting me. But isn't that a shard from my window …? Tensing up, I look around me at the shards. Not all of them do so, but many of them are reflective. About half.

That means … that means, it wasn't a window. It was a stupid mirror. The children couldn't see me. They didn't ignore me, they didn't know I was there. Because of the scientists, I thought they were ignoring me all my life, but the only times they saw me were when we fought.

How … how DARE THEY! They did it on purpose! They kept me isolated, alone! They made me feel insignificant! Made themselves seem invincible, that nothing I did mattered. But now? I'm free. They don't yet know just how much stronger they've made me, but they will. THEY WILL KNOW!

Snapping my head up, I stand up and begin walking towards the still going fight. Some more have fallen, but it looks like they've entered a stalemate. The guards are all behind barriers, and the children are bombarding them with biotic blasts, but the blasts aren't strong enough to get through. They aren't as strong as mine. Well, let's change that shall we? I've killed so many of the children for the scientists, it's about time I EVEN THE SCORE!

I barely even register the biotic aura that emerges around me, vibrating with my emotions. I clench my fists as I grow closer, step after step, when I'm nearly at the children's location, I begin condensing my aura around my fist. I condense it more then I ever have, adding more and more energy to until my fist is barely discernible beneath the exotic blue glow.

Taking one more step, I stop and set my feet, tensing my core, I launch my fist forward, screaming my fury at the world. The titanic shockwave explodes from me, shooting across the distance to a congregation of a few guards hiding behind a wall. This attack has some recoil, making me slide back a few centimetres but I hold my ground.

The biotic blast draws everyone's eyes, brighter than anything else present as it meets the wall and detonates. The boom echoes across the yard, the ground shaking as, for an instant, the world turned white. Blinking the spots out of my eyes, I watch the dust fade as the carnage is shown. The four guards are nothing, but chunks of viscera scattered around the vicinity. I can't do anything but laugh at the sight, the feelings in my chest bubbling up through me into a haunting laugh that echoed through the silent courtyard. I had drawn everyone's attention with my stunt, but that's what I wanted.

"I am now free, and there are no strings on me!" I laugh with a glint in my eye. This breaks the spell everyone was under as the fight resumes. It's odd, but no guards take the opportunity to fire at me. I'm not hiding behind anything, but no one takes the shot despite me being the greatest threat here. Well, if they are just going to let me be, who am I to refuse? My lips stretch into a wide grin even as I begin flinging biotic explosions in bulk. I target any guards I can find, relishing the opportunity to retaliate for all they had done to me as I let lose all my frustration, all my anger, and all my rage.

Surprisingly, at least to me, some of the other kids grouped up near me as they continued to fire. I'm not sure why, it could be for many reasons. I don't really care, we're all attacking the same people after all.

After my first attack, I didn't take the time to charge up the same way, so my attacks didn't quite have the same force, only chipping away at the various things the guards were hiding behind. That changed with my group of followers, when I attacked one location, they all aimed in the same place, rapidly destroying whatever protections the guards had. I relished this power, the destruction we wrought. It excited me in a way I've never felt, left me giddy in ways I didn't think I was capable of feeling.

First, we finished off the guards in the courtyard then we moved on, splitting up. I led my smaller group along one of the corridors I had never taken, killing anyone we found whether it be guard or scientist. We continued like this until we came to a crossroads and the exotic blue glow in the corner of my eye alerted me to the danger. I ducked instinctively beneath the blast, charging up a shockwave that I released as I whirled around to the direction of the attack. Finding the culprit, I laid my eyes on another one of the children staring at me hatefully.

I though we were free? Why are they attacking me?

The boy was thrown into a wall with a crack and remained lying there slumped over with a crooked neck.

I thought it was because of the scientists' ordering them. So why, why are they still trying to kill me. Why? WHY?

Another blue glow caught my attention as a familiar projection was extruding off the hand of another kid charging towards me. Reacting to the sight that brough me such pain, I charge up another blast that I shoot at him. He doesn't even try to dodge, and it catches him directly in the chest, throwing him back.

There are more following him.

Why are they doing this? I throw a shockwave in front of me.

I thought we wouldn't fight anymore. I ducked beneath the fist of one of the boys and ploughed my own into his stomach, releasing a shockwave through it that blew him apart.

I could see many kids now congregating around me and I didn't know who to trust. Some would attack me, some wouldn't. That was ignoring the guards we kept encountering, and the occasional scientists we found in the rooms. We slaughtered our way through them one after the other, granting no mercy, for they had given us none.

Once again, a kid attacked me from behind with a biotic blast, only this time I didn't fully dodge, blocking it using my shielded arm. This threw me back into the wall, my head hitting it especially hard and producing a starburst of pain before my eyes. Reaching my hand back to touch the site, it felt wet. I brought my hand forward to inspect it and I saw it was covered in red.

I saw red, and I rampaged. I used all my pain, all my rage, my sorrow, my guilt. I put all of it into my attacks, drawing more and more on the well of energy within me. I used it all, destroying everything in my path in a haze of violence and bloodlust.

I don't remember what happened next, flashes of death and destruction until I came too surrounded by corpses of all ages in a room with a lot of dead scientists. I was exhausted, my muscles aching, my bones weary and the well of energy within me had dried up. My knuckled burned viscously and my body ached everywhere. I shouldn't have been able to stand, but I did so all the same.

Looking around, I see something different to normal, the scientists had these strange patches on their shoulders. A hexagonal logo of orange and white. What does that stand for? I can't think right now, but I know I need to get away. I quickly go to one of the scientists and pick up their data pad in its condensed form, putting it into my shoe having no pockets in the clothes all the subjects received, grey pants and a grey long-sleeve shirt. That's all I can do, my thoughts are sluggish and even walking feels exhausting, so I stumble my way through an open door nearby that has a breeze flowing through it.

Walking through the doorway, I find myself outside for the first time. There's green everywhere my eyes look, a veritable jungle surrounding me in all directions. Walking further out, I turn around to gaze at the building that once held me. On the front was the same symbol I found on the scientists, and I made sure to burn it into my memory before turning away.

I took only two steps before the exhaustion suddenly hit me. I collapsed onto my knees, before falling completely onto the ground. I want to get up, but even keeping my eyes open is a struggle, one that I quickly fail as the world falls silent around me, only the faintest hum amongst it.