Chapter 33

[POV: Jack]

"… Leader …"

I could faintly hear something on the edge of my consciousness. Oh, who cares, it felt like I'd dropped into my bunk about 5 minutes ago.

"… Leader?"

What is that? Some sort of call or … I suddenly felt my entire body being shaken back and forth. It made my head jerk up and down and instantly brought me back to consciousness. Might have had something to do with the dull pounding in my head that was being exacerbated by the movement.

Out of instinct, my currently free hand punched out at whatever was touching me, colliding with a solid impact that was enough to jar my arm with the poor form I'd used. Opening my eyes and squinting, I found a pouting Krogan rubbing his arm above me. Grunt? What are you doing here … it doesn't matter. I could still feel the pull behind my eyes, not having rested near enough since the mission.

"You better have a good reason for waking me up." I grumbled, not awake enough to be anything more than sleepy.

"Bossman said we were going to debrief about her mission after we got cleaned up and out of our armour. I saw you were back so I figured you should hear it as well." Grunt nodded, crossing his arms. I closed my eyes as I exhaled all the air in my lungs. I was woken up for a fucking debrief? Couldn't it wait?

"Did it have to be now?"

"She said it would be better to do it before her team crashed, some of the others apparently get tired after too long without sleep. Heh." I get tired too you know, I grumbled internally. It took me a moment to process what he said as I was still waking up, but it processed soon enough. Grunt meant well, he just didn't seem to realise I wasn't a Krogan as well. To be fair, almost everyone else treated me like one as well. Come to think of it, how'd he get so close without me waking up?

How I wished I actually was a Krogan right now. It would probably help with the aches and pains all over me. Still, Grunt seemed excited about the debrief, so I may as well go. This resolve of mine wavered as soon as I stood up, my legs trembling beneath me, having stiffen up significantly since I laid down. I had to grab onto Grunt to stop myself from falling back onto my bed, that was difficult too.

I hadn't had a workout that good in a long time, and it showed with the DOMS I was currently feeling.

"Leader! Are you alright?"

"Fine." I grunted. "My little trip with Miranda was tougher than anticipated."

"As tough as Horizon?"

"Close." Wasn't quite as risky, but it took nearly as much effort on my behalf. There was just too many of the damn Eclipse, none were particularly dangerous but there was damn sure a lot of them. Even worse was how many obstacles they put in our way. My channelled blade technique wasn't easy, I'd never figured out how to make that one work properly. It's why I normally stuck to just a short time reinforcement of the blade, that and I couldn't perform the more advanced technique fast enough for proper use.

"Lucky." Grunt muttered. "I barely got to do anything fun. The others hogged all the enemies."

"You'll get your chance." I patted him on the shoulder, walking past. I had to limp a little as I did, my stump a little tender after all the strain I put it through yesterday, guess I hadn't been fully healed.

Grunt fell in behind me as we walked to the briefing room in silence, the door open when we got there. I stepped in to find everyone but Shepard already here, including Miranda? I walked over to her and dropped into the empty seat with a sigh.

"Weren't you asleep?" Miranda mused, tapping away at her data-pad.

"I was." I grumbled. Miranda looked up from the pad and glanced between me and Grunt before chuckling. "You seem fine, shouldn't you be even worse off than me?"

"Ah, but I haven't gone to bed yet. I had to write the report for you." She waved the pad at me.

"Why else would I save you?"

"Indeed." She deadpanned, turning back to the pad.

I may have said that, but I didn't really mean it. I hate to say it, but Miranda grew on me during our mission together. I think it was mostly because I got to see what was behind her mask. I freely admit I wear one of my own, it's why I was so leery of hers. But last night made hers drop, and it showed me who she really was. In the end, she was just a woman trying to keep her sister safe, no matter what she had to do. Her actions may not always agree with me, but I could see how she would justify them to herself. She was also quite fun to needle, for a Cerberus agent.

"Morning everyone!" Shepard called as she entered the room, accompanied by a physical specimen of an Asari. I suppose the mission was a success then, but damn Samara was built for an Asari. The jumpsuit she wore certainly didn't hide it, or some other things, but what was with the lack of proper armour on this mission? They're just begging to be hit.

"First of all, Miranda? You good?" Miranda nodded to Shepard. There was barely any evidence of the mission on her as well, Miranda having cleaned herself up and changed clothes. The only evidence left was the small bags under her eyes. My armour revealed a little more if you looked for the fresh blood stains and new scratches.

"That's good then. Now let's run through what happened with my mission. To my surprise, things didn't go quite as planned." There was a round of laughter in the room, Shepard grinning crookedly at us.

I would like to say I paid attention to the briefing, but I was still rather tired and it was all I could do just to stay awake and keep my head from dropping to my chest. I don't think I was as successful at hiding it as I would have liked.

"… and that's about it. Anyone else want to add anything?"

Shepard looked around, but no-one did. I think we were all just tired, as no-one looked particularly alert right now except for Tail, who had been typing away at her Omni-tool for much of the meeting. I couldn't bring myself to care about why right now though. "I'll call this meeting to an end then. Samara, we'll go over the combat teams capabilities in the next few days, get you up to date on everyone's abilities when we're all rested and I can actually think."

"As you wish Shepard." Samara nodded serenely. Not going to lie, her voice was actually really soothing, calming if you will. I wouldn't mind hearing something else come out of those lips. Where did that come from? I mean, her outfit is … suggestive, but I just met her. I really need to get some private time to myself at some point.

"Have a good night team." Shepard said, closing the meeting. Did I really need to be woken up for this Grunt?

The rest of the team seemed in a similar vein to me as no-one tried to linger around. I couldn't be bothered trying to move through them right now, so I remained seated and let them pass me by. Truthfully, I let my awareness fade away and my thoughts began to drift. My thought returned to my own mission with Miranda. About what happened, what I did and what I could have done differently. Things turned out okay in the end … but I could have been more efficient with my biotics then I was, I should have been.

We took the path that was largely laid out for us, just blasting through the obstacles left and right rather than thinking of the alternatives. It was as Miranda directed, but she wasn't really in the right mindset to take part in that mission. She was too close to it, too close to Oriana. She performed admirably when you take things into consideration, but I should have taken over more than I did. We would have been better off going directly to Oriana and her family and extracting them first. I had suspicions about Niket from the beginning but Miranda hadn't wanted to consider his betrayal as an option. Like I said, she was too close. Oh well, it doesn't really matter right now … the only thing that does is my sweet, sweet bunk. Other may consider it uncomfortable, but when you're sleeping in armour everything felt the same. Vassen was a true friend for making it decently comfortable to do so.

A sharp beep broke me out of my fugue, snatching away all the concentration I could right now. It repeated in a familiar pattern I recognised, one Treena had ingrained into my memory. The monitoring of my security had been set off by someone was trying to hack my Omni-tool.

The cloudy exhaustion covering my mind melted away, burned away by my rapidly raising temper. Who would dare to hack me here aboard the Normandy? Who even could? Treena had created the strongest protection she could at my request … of course it will be her.

My head snapped up to find The Quarian typing away at her Omni-tool furiously, the only one still seated beside me. Shepard was also still here watching me with quirked lips that quickly thinned when she saw me freeze.

I stood up without a sound, my fists clenching.

"You dare …" I whispered, my eyes locked onto the oblivious Quarian.

"Fury, what's wrong?"

I barely even heard Shepard, the roar of my rushing blood now filling my ears. She could do anything she wanted to if she got past my security. Hack my bank account, take control of my armour and … delete my data?!

My form lit up with biotic energy as I held out my hand and picked up the Quarian with its grasp, slamming her against the wall harshly. She cried out in pain when she collided with it, finally looking up from the Omni-tool as her legs dangled beneath her. I held her there as she struggled to breathe through the force now pinning her to the wall.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!" Shepard shouted, having approached when she saw my sudden aggression. She held up her fists and tried to punch me with one, but I caught it with the fist that wasn't currently holding the bitch.

"She just tried to hack my Omni-tool." I hissed, clenching both my fists tightly. Tali moaned from the added pressure but I couldn't find it within me to care. Shepard's eyes were hard as she stared at me, but they flickered to Tali and back before she opened her mouth.

"I don't care." Shepard growled. "Let her down and I'll deal with her, not you. This is my only warning, don't attack the other members of my team."

I thought very seriously about ignoring her order, but I could see her other hand reaching behind her back for the pistol she always kept holstered. Was Shepard going to attack me? She would lose. No, no I'm not like that. I won't be. I released my glowing fist and let the Quarian slam down into the ground, her legs crumbling beneath her as she gasped for breath from her position on the floor.

"You get one Shepard. I will ignore this attempt this once, but never again." I hissed at her, getting in close as I kept hold of her first still. "But keep one thing straight. I don't start things, but I will finish them."

I let go of her hand and whirled around, stomping out of the room with my pounding head finally making itself known. I'd strained my nervous system greatly yesterday, pushing it far beyond it's normal limits. It had been a while since I'd felt the consequences of doing so, and I did not miss them. The mental fog, the dulling of the senses and of course the hammering behind your eyes. Even the small amount of sleep I'd had let them dull, but even my minor use of biotics had returned it to me.

It made it a little hard to focus as I walked through the hallways and back down to my room, letting myself crash back into my bunk.

It also meant I failed to notice the wizened eyes that watched me pass through the Normandy, alerted by the sound of Tali slamming into the wall.

[POV: Shepard]

Well, that was a clusterfuck. I watched as Fury stalked out of the room in a ball of rage the door closing behind her. I just recruited another member of my crew successfully only for problems with the old ones appearing.

I couldn't afford to lose my team's unity, and Fury was a lynchpin for it. She was too valuable to lose for such petty reasons. I'd gotten a chance to observe how Samara fought over the last 24 hours, and while she certainly had more finesse than Fury, she had nothing on the endurance and glimpses of pure power I'd seen from her.

That's why I whirled around to face the still recovering Tali. Fury hadn't gone easy on her, but at least she left no lasting damage. She could have just straight out killed her if she wanted to, crushed her into a pulp with her biotics. Thank god she didn't.

"What the hell was that Tali!?"

"Fury's suspicious." Tali coughed, standing up with none of my help.

"How the hell does that justify it?" I growled, gesturing my hand in the direction of the wall she had been slammed against. "We're onboard a Cerberus vessel for crying out loud! We know what they've done, what they're capable of. Fury has acted admirably since she joined the team, never given any cause for this suspicion of yours."

"If Fury had nothing to hide, then why does she?" Tali scoffed. "Is Cerberus shady? Yeah, but you're wary of them. You trust Fury, listen to what she says. But what do you really know about her, about what really drives her, what her goals are? I currently have access to all the records of everyone on board. I know where everyone's secret stashes are, what they get up to at night, nothing is kept from me."

Tali boasted about that fact as if it wasn't a severe violation of privacy. Was she always like this and I'd never seen it or was it a new development?

"The only ones I don't know about is Fury and little miss Cerberus." Tali spoke mockingly of who was clearly Miranda.

"I can't hack an AI, and isn't that just the cherry on top?" Tali laughed somewhat hysterically. "I can't hack Miranda, she's too well protected, but I finally found a weak point. Miranda is close with Fury, closer than I realised but I should have." She shook her head.

"The secret mission the two of them went on alone? That made me do some digging. I talked to Liara, and it was Miranda who pointed her towards Omega. Where she coincidently found an ally in your rescue. It was subtle," Tali praised, "but Fury deciding to help after Miranda basically asked her nicely? Really, a top enforcer of Aria doing so? No, they're connected. And seeing as I couldn't get past the cursed AI, I took my shot with Fury." Tali began pacing, ranting at me all the while. I decided to let her, stunned by how heated she was about this. I couldn't exactly tell her why Miranda was being so secretive about it, I already had to deal with Fury's reaction, I didn't need Miranda pissed with me as well.

"Every camera I've tried to leave where she sleeps, gone. The few times she goes to the med-bay, my bugs disappear. Nothing, so I decided to do things the old fashioned way. It's hard to get her alone though, so when I saw she was fatigued, I knew I had my chance."

"You botched that up." I grimaced, Fury's threat playing out in my mind.

"Her security was … better than I expected." Tali grumbled.

I closed my eyes and sighed before looking at Tali again.

"This isn't like you. If you had such significant concerns, why didn't you bring them up with me, like you should have."

"Because you wouldn't care." Tali stated bluntly. "I brought it up with you and you brushed me off without a care. You weren't concerned about the risk, nor have you much cared about any risk since the fall. Tell me Shepard, when did it change? When did you stop caring about your own life?"

It felt like a brick hit me in the stomach. How did she …? I'd tried so hard to hide it from her most of all. I didn't want Tali to know how much it bothered me. I died, full stop. I didn't fall asleep, I wasn't knocked out, I died. I can still feel my lungs clawing at me, still feel my flesh melting away in the fiery hell that was my crash landing from orbit. Having a new mission from hell was almost a blessing, because it gave me something to focus on.

"You know why." I whispered, my eyes defocusing for a moment as it played out in my head again once more.

"I do." Tali placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm concerned Shepard, you never would have worked with Cerberus, you wouldn't have taken so many risks before … and if you aren't going to care? Then I will. I lost you once, I don't want to lose you again. If I have to deal with the risks myself? So be it."

She sounded so resolute in her task, so justified. But it isn't her decision to make, it isn't her life! I shook of her hand, my fist clenching.

"Tali … it's none of your business what risks I take. Did you ever think that maybe it wasn't just the death that changed me? Maybe it was because all of my pain, all of my efforts, they were for nothing!" I slammed my fist into the wall. "I saved the council, and what do they do? Nothing! The reapers are coming and no-one does anything! Not the council, not even the alliance! No, the only one who does anything is me. I'll do what I have to, take any reasons I need to, to stop the reapers. That is my decision, that is my choice, so you will do as I say and leave Fury alone. Investigate Cerberus all you like, I don't care about that, but Fury isn't one of them, I know that for a fact."

Why won't she listen to me?!

"I will only say this once Tali. You will not do this again. Fury could have killed you, easily, and it wouldn't take much more to set her off. You think I don't know the danger she could become?" I laughed bitterly. "I know all too well, it's like looking in a mirror sometimes, except oh wait, I can't even do that anymore!" I breathed in deeply and exhaled, trying to calm the rising emotions within me. "If you do this again, if you poke that bear? I'm not going to stop her, because I can't afford to be kind anymore." I glared down at her. I was so tired. Tired from the mission, tired of having the reaper threat hang over me, I was just … tired.

"Shepard …" Tali trailed off, shrinking before my gaze. "I'm … look, it won't happen again, I guarantee it. I don't need to." Tali told me.

What does that mean? Fury caught her before she could finish, didn't she? I watched as Tali typed away at her Omni-tool before mine beeped.

"Here, this is all the information Fury's Omni-tool held. She doesn't have to know, and we can make sure she is true to what she says, true to who she is. Maybe she can be trusted, but I will be sure before I trust she isn't a Cerberus operative."

Tali was successful. She hacked Fury, has access to things Fury would want to keep private. To keep secret. Fury didn't know, thinking Tali failed and even that warranted getting physical. She only stopped at my request, but if she found out the truth, would she listen to me again? Would she leave Tali alone?

'You get one Shepard.'

…

No, Tali had gone too far. It was one thing to try to hack someone, it was another to do so successfully. In the digital world we lived in, if someone hacked you? They owned you. They could take your credits, impersonate you and numerous other things. In the 21st century hacking was a crime, but today? It could be a death sentence. Quarians hacking other species was a big part of what perpetuated the stereotype, a big part of why people were willing to ignore the plight they were in. It didn't matter if they were desperate, hacking someone else was an act that was despised in this galaxy. It wasn't something you did to an ally, because if they did, you couldn't trust them. It's a testament to the body I had forged with Fury that she even listened to me so readily, a bond I may have just soured.

Fury deserved to know, didn't deserve the actions Tali had taken no matter what reasons Tali gave. Tali was just trying to justify herself, what if she was right though? No, she wasn't. Fury was too … her to be a plant. The question was though, did I tell Fury?

What would she do if I do, what would she do to Tali? Fury was a violent being, and she valued her more than almost anyone else I'd met, so how would she react? I … I didn't know. I didn't know what she would do, … and I didn't know what I should do. I didn't want to lose a friend over this, but I very well might. Tali had just placed me over the barrel and readied the lube, and I was gripped with my indecision.

I couldn't think right now, couldn't decide. I was exhausted by everything that had happened over the last 24 hours, and … before.

I was just … tired.

[POV: Miranda]

I was sitting at my desk once more, doing even more paperwork. This time it was for Shepard, I swear she finds more use out of me for doing paperwork than actual missions, which, ouch, but probably fair. I have my new armour being fitted on board as we speak, I picked some up while we were on Thessia, and I really wish it had been ready for my mission to save Oriana. Things turned out well enough in the end, but it made me reconsider some of my actions.

"Ms Lawson, I have a matter of concern I believe you should know about." EDI spoke up, catching my attention. She would only alert me about such matters when I was alone and free.

EDI was the primary means of monitoring the crew, of keeping abreast of any arising concerns. I couldn't keep track of all the communcaitons that go on, the crew is comprised of nearly a hundred people. I had an actual role on this ship as well so I couldn't spend the whole time sorting through data. That's what EDI was for, she looked over every bit of data I gained accessed to, and analysed it looking for anything suspicious.

"What is it?"

"Last night Ms Zorah transmitted a file to Commander Shepard. Its contents concerned me as while listening to the conversation she confirmed that she had successfully hacked Fury's Omni-tool and passed on the data to Commander Shepard. Would you like to see the file?"

Oh … oh shit. What the fuck happened after the meeting?!

"Pull it up on my pad." I ordered.

"Of course, Ms Lawson."

The file appeared shortly with the first image already open. It was a group of Asari and one human all smiling at the camera. The image stopped me short and made me consider what It was I was doing. This was a violation of Fury's privacy in its entirety. I severely doubt she would be keeping anything about her actual combat ability on here, so there wasn't even that on here. No, all this file could tell me was about Fury's past … and I was uncomfortable in going behind her back to find out about it.

In the past I wouldn't have been so reluctant. The Illusive Man would have seen this as a stroke of good fortune, as a chance to gain insight on an 'enemy of humanity', but that wasn't right. Fury wasn't an enemy of humanity, she was only an enemy of Cerberus.

I know I had tried to find as much data about her as I could, but at least I was only searching for public data. This … this was private. I seriously doubt that any real combat data could be found from Fury's Omni-tool, it could only tell you about the woman in question, about her personal life.

Also, that human. That was Jennifer, wasn't it? The girl who had been wronged so much by Cerberus. I figured the two were close, but … no, I wasn't comfortable doing this, not anymore. I closed the file and saved it to my data-pad in a secret folder, for evidence purposes.

"EDI, delete the file on your storage."

"Are you certain? It isn't protocol."

"Override alpha-3-mu-terra." I ordered using the override I had been granted by the Illusive man when I began this mission. EDI only backed up her memory when we entered and left an access point to the Extranet, so the file would only be on her current servers.

"File deleted."

"That will be all."

I could do that much for Fury, after all she'd done for me. She deserved it and more, because she was the first to truly do something for me for nothing. There was no way I could force her to help with Oriana, nothing I could offer her, yet she still came along. I was still free because of her, Oriana was still free. Even Cerberus only helped Oriana because of my service to them.

The question begs though, do I tell Fury about this?

She deserves to know, but I'm not sure I should be the one to do it. For most of the time we've been on the ship together we haven't really gotten along, but Shepard and Fury have. Tali sent the file to Shepard, so Shepard will know what happened. Surely she will sort this out, she's always had a knack for making conflicting personalities work together, something I haven't. Not quite sure how she will resolve this one peacefully though.

[POV: Jack]

It's been about a week since we left Thessia, and I'm still pissed. There hadn't been any fallout from what happened to my knowledge, so I suppose Shepard kept it quiet. It annoys me that what Tali did wasn't exposed, but I can accept it all the same. It was Fury's decision on what to do, it was her ship, and if she wanted to protect the foolish Quarian, that was her choice. I've seen less of said Quarian than I used to at least, so I suppose Fury told her to back off, which is something.

I don't know if things would have gone the same way that night if I wasn't so tired, would I have reacted different? Would I have left before Tali even attempted it? I don't know, and there's nothing I can do about it now. What I will say is that it's a good thing I caught the thief before she succeeded, because if I did? Then I would start things as well.

Unfortunately, things have been made a little awkward between Shepard and I. It may have been rash I don't regret giving her my warning, because after what Tali tried. The Quarian was lucky. I could have gripped my hand just a little tighter and … pop! But no, I let her go because Shepard asked me to. I was the wronged party, but Shepard threw her punch at me anyway. St's not like I permanently injured Tali …

I had to remove myself from the train of though that led me into, I had been having far to many of those recently because I had nothing to bloody do on this ship! I had been stuck here for the last week while Shepard ran errands for the alliance. She hadn't needed my help for the rather easy missions and that left me antsy, so I'd been forced to find other things to fill my time.

"Begin!" I ordered Grunt, who paced forward with his eyes locked on mine and his fists raised. I did so as well but kept my hands loose. This was to be a biology only fight, and I wouldn't be able to keep up with him directly, so I would have to get a little tricky. Grunt, having gotten close enough launched the first blow with his right fist. I slapped it to the side and jabbed him in the gut with my other hand, not that it did much. It was a helpful little reminder to him though, as those blows would be serious if I could reinforce my limbs. It was a good teaching method.

This back and forth repeated a few times, as I ducked and diverted his heavy blows and took more small jabs at him. Rather than get frustrated as he once did, Grunt kept his cool and glued his beady eyes on my form looking for gaps. It was getting harder and harder to do this, he learned quickly, and Grunt started to block some of my own blows, anticipating where they would land. He grinned the first time it happened, and a gleam appeared in his eyes after the next few. I could have changed up my approach, but he wouldn't learn from that so I decided to see what he had planned. Grunt caught my next punch, and instead of trying to strike me with his other fist he latched onto the hand with a tight grip.

"Heh, let's see you avoid this one!" He reared back his other hand for a much heavier blow, like he used to before he learned some restraint. That would undoubtedly hurt, so I'm just not going to do that. Timing it precisely, I bent my legs slightly and launched myself up and over the blow, using his other hand as a leverage point. This left me with my legs raised in front of me and travelling further forward in mid-air, so I used it to strike grunt in the face with one of my knees as I finished the jump.

"Aughh!"

He reared back from the blow, letting go of me as well. I landed in a crouch watching as he shook his head in disgruntlement and growled.

"That was good, but I'm more of a grappler than a traditional boxer like we've been doing. Can't really do most of that with just my normal strength considering how much you weigh."

"I thought I had you this time." He grumbled, seeing we were pausing for now.

"You did, under the constraints I was fighting under. You're getting better, and fast." I praised him. He perked up at that admission suddenly looking livelier.

"Again!" He shouted, running at me with his hands raised again. Once he was close enough he launched an all-out assault, his hands whistling when they passed by my head. I had to twist and turn around the blows to prevent him from hitting me with his much faster assault, having thrown away the restraint he had been showing earlier out of his excitement. I grinned myself as well, the sudden speed actually a little tricky to keep ahead of. It meant I was backing up with each second he continued, using every bit of the enhanced musculature he held.

Well, if he wants to disregard the rules … I let a little biotic energy seep out and around my form, reinforcing my body before I began to meet him blow for blow. Instead of ducking I would hit his arms to stop them early, blocking some of the lighter ones with my forearms. The smacks of our limbs meeting echoing in our room as I began to push him back. I was slowly ramping up my strength, each time I hit him just a little bit harder and Grunt's grin would grow wider. Soon enough I was nearing my fully enhanced strength and it was all Grunt could do to hold off my assault as I eschewed speed for power and hammered blows into his sides and towards his head.

He was much more careful to block the blows at his head as his body was much more heavily armoured, but it was taking its toll on him. I could see him wincing from every blow and decided to finish it. I pushed all the strength I could into one final punch aimed at his head, making no effort to hide it. Grunt saw it coming and used both hands to block it, anticipating the force correctly as he bent his arms to absorb some of the impact. What he didn't anticipate was that I suddenly raised my right leg and kicked forward, sending all the energy currently reinforcing me into the blow as I kicked him straight in his gut. I could hear the air rushing out of him as he folded over the kick, before being knocked backwards and onto his back, skidding a little bit along the smooth floor. Grunt settled down there, wheezing from the final blow as I lowered my leg, panting from the fight we just had.

"You alright there grunt?"

"That was great!" he huffed, groaning from his position on the floor. Just because I could, I decided to sit down on top of him as I regained my breath. I didn't exactly soften the impact, so Grunt wheezed a little more from the impact, but didn't otherwise protest.

"I'm not saying that wasn't fun, but what was with the sudden aggression? You left yourself open quite a bit."

"I don't know. Something came over me … made me want to just hit you as hard as I could … instincts maybe?" He mumbled, then shook his head. "I don't know, but the urge to do so has been growing. It's getting harder to make myself think, to not just give into the urges when fighting."

That's doesn't sound great, especially if the urges are still growing. If grunt attacked someone not ready for it, he could do some serious damage, and on board the only one I would trust could actually put him down was that bitch Samara, Shepard could probably do alright for a while but I'm not sure she could actually keep him down.

I questioned Grunt a bit more about it before deciding I should probably ask Shepard about it, she should know about what's happening. It's a little weird I haven't seen her much over the last week, we use to talk fairly often as she would just show up randomly to chat.

"You should be alright for now after our fight, but I think I have something else that might help." I stood up from my seat and moved over to my bunk, picking up a box and placing it on top of the bed. Out of it, I pulled out two clear bottles of liquid.

"What's this?" Grunt narrowed his eyes at the bottle, unfamiliar with it.

"Ryncol." Grunt looked up at me eyes widened for a second before he grinned.

"Maybe this will help." He chuckled, nodding faux-seriously. I shook my head at that and handed him one of the bottles, keeping the second for myself. I watched as he opened it with care before taking a sniff. He reared back from the smell, it was strong enough that I swear I could smell it through the air filters in my helmet, before taking a big swig.

"Oh, that's got a strong burn!"

"Welcome to the world of alcohol."

Picking my bottle up, I gestured over to a set of crates that could act as chair and tables, the three leaning against the wall with two smaller crated on the sides and a bigger one in the middle. It was also conveniently out of view of the door. Before taking my seat, I activated the program on my Omni-tool one more time, no new monitoring devices since the last time I'd taken them out. I guess it's clear then …

Placing my bottle on the crate next to me, I reached up to my helmet and jerked it to the side, the helmet unsealing with a hiss that caught Grunt's attention, finally breaking it away from the bottle he'd already drunk a quarter of. I pulled off the helmet and set it beside me, taking off my gauntlets as well. That done, I brushed a hand through my hair and enjoyed the feeling of nothing covering my head.

"Leader?" Grunt sounded confused and I turned towards him, opening my previously closed eyes. He was staring at me with widened eyes, bottle temporarily forgotten.

"I figured it was time we finally met." I shrugged, trying to ignore the obvious.

"You're human? … I thought you were one of the blue ones." He scratched his head, accepting it otherwise.

"My name's technically Jakiros, but I go by Jack with those close to me."

"I'm honoured then." Grunt nodded, seeing what I implied. He may have been relatively naive, but he was far from stupid.

"Just don't go spreading it about, no-one else aboard knows." I waved my hand at him, picking up my bottle and twisting off the tip. I raised it over to grunt, who tapped his own with mine once he realised what the gesture meant. I then took a sip of the stuff, the liquid burning down my entire oesophagus. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't help but cough a little.

"It's been a while since I've had this … it's potent."

"The best kind!" Grunt cheered, taking anther swig. Pretty sure he hasn't had any other alcohol, but I wasn't going to mention that. We had spent quite a few hours going over Krogans as species, I explained as much as I could to him and I had mentioned that Ryncol was a popular drink for them, it's why he was so interested in the stuff.

We sat there in peaceful silence for almost an hour, Grunt polishing off his entire bottle in that time and me about a third of mine, that was already more than I probably should have had, but I was enjoying it.

"Damn, 'm out" Grunt mumbled, tipping his bottle upside down and finding nothing coming out.

"Trust me, you do not want to drink anymore. Try walking around for a bit." My words were a little slurred, but nothing crazy. I'd done this enough to know what my limits were, and Aria's poison trick may have been used, just a little. It meant that, while I was a little buzzed and my tastebuds were completely wrecked, I wasn't plastered.

"I'll be fine leader." He grunted, standing up. He then immediately began wobbling from side to side and had to catch himself on the wall. "woah – why's the ship shaking?"

"It's not, that's the alcohol. Ryncol is strong enough that your system can't just burn through it."

"Cool." He stepped forward and away from the wall, taking each step forward carefully with his arm outstretched. Even still, he was swaying from side to side and the inevitable eventually happened. He took one step a little too big and began leaning too far to one side. It happened almost in slow motion as he leaned further and further over before eventually just giving it and letting himself hit the floor on his side in a giant crash. He might have even dented the floor, considering how much he weighted. Come to think of it wouldn't he have dented it earlier as well? I glance over to where we had been fighting and sure enough, there was a hump shaped dent. I immediately burst into laughter at this and Grunt's current position, the sound echoing around the room.

Grunt stopped struggling to get up at the sound and instead turned over to watch me, I laughed so hard I could barely see him from the water now covering my eyes. Grunt joined in shortly as well, his much deeper laugh practically a rumble when compared to mine.

"Aren't you going to help me up?"

"I'm not standing up right now, as I think we both know what would happen."

"Couldn't have warned me?" he grumbled and I snickered.

"It's a rite of passage." I waved my hand at him.

I raised my bottle and took one last sip before closing it up and setting it aside, enjoying the heat I could feel rushing through me. I'd stopped coughing about halfway through the session, having grown used to the Ryncol. It still packed a kick though.

"Hey Leader?" Grunt called out from his position on the floor.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for doing this for me, I know you didn't have to, … I appreciate it." Grunt spoke sincerely, his eyes closed. I smiled at him but said nothing else as he drifted off into sleep. He began snoring shortly after.

He's going to be feeling that in the morning, but I can't really move him. To be fair, I'm probably going to be feeling it in the morning as well. I finally stood up from my seat, a little unsteady on my feet but not enough to knock me over. Walking over, I patted Grunt on the head a few times before walking over to my bunk and dropping down onto it, placing my helmet back on with a hiss. I felt the blood rush through my head as I laid my head down, deciding now wasn't a bad time to go to sleep, even if it was a little early.

Hopefully there's nothing wrong with Grunt, but I just couldn't know. He was in every way an experiment, nothing natural about his birth at all. He could be developing a deadly illness and we wouldn't know.

I'll talk to Shepard first thing tomorrow, hopefully before she sends us off on another errand. I was still pissed at her, but in the end it wasn't her that wronged me, so I'll let it be. If Tali thinks I'll forget what she did though, … she's in for a surprise.