AN: So, been a short while. My bad ...?
There was a few reasons for the delay, but the biggest was that I was spending a lot of time doing applications for internships and then actually got one, which is great! But it is also a full time role. This past week is when I stated doing this chapter, and the good news is I should be able to return to my old schedule now that I've settled in Admittedly, roughly one chapter a week wasn't the fastest, but they're pretty big chapters.
This chapter has some of the ramifications from the last one, and starts the set up for the next few chapters which I have been teasing towards for quite a while now. Some of you may suspect what I'm talking about, shh~~
Also in regards to the latest review, the Krogans are indeed fucked, which wasn't something I'd really considered, my bad?
Enjoy!
Chapter 38:
[POV: Jack]
Waking up wasn't fun.
It meant I could feel how much my body hurt. Sure, some of it was muscle strain, but I was all too used to that.
The general weakness that accompanied it was characteristic of biotics overuse. It was like straining your entire CNS at once, and general weakness was far from the worse that could result. It was also rather common for me, despite what anyone else says about 'taking a break' so you 'don't hurt yourself'. What do they know, I'm fine aren't I?
The sharp ache in my elbow was new though.
I tried to shift it a little to assess the damage, and hot spikes shot all the way up my arm and into my spine. I hissed from the feeling, the pain both acute and viscous.
Something's definitely broken. It was probably the reason I was even awake, as I could still feel the fatigue clawing at my opens, trying to close them. I would have gladly stayed in bed another 4 hours if I could.
With a sigh, I pushed myself up gingerly with the other arm, cradling the injured one to my chest as my feet touched the floor. I've really got to stop getting injured on this ship, the sheer frequency is getting ridiculous.
"Leader?" I looked up from to find Grunt walking over to me. "You alright?"
I shrugged reflexively and winced at the way it tugged on my injury.
"Elbow's broken, didn't realise it till now." Grunt sent me a bewildered look, knowing what it felt like to have a broken bone. One may wonder how I didn't realise, but one first had to know what extreme biotic fatigue felt like. When it was hard to even think from the pounding inside your head? You could ignore a lot.
Hell, just running was a chore. I could tune it out, sort of, but I don't think that could be called healthy, or something normal people learned.
"We going to the doctor then?"
The doctor … oh.
Shit, I'd forgotten about Mordin. He died last night, and with the reminder came the rest of what transpired. I narrowed my eyes.
That, … the whole thing was just a massive clusterfuck.
"Yeah," I'll deal with that later, cause my elbow really did need to be looked at. "Help me up."
I grabbed on to the proffered arm and was lifted to my feet. I could have done it myself, but I didn't feel like it.
"Let's go."
I took two steps before my legs nearly gave out. I stumbled forward and had to catch myself on the wall beside me, which I did with my bad arm out of reflex. White spots bloomed within my head as I groaned. Fuck that hurt.
"Leader!" Grunt called out, moving in close to support me. I waved him off with my good arm as I whined through gritted teeth. I hadn't realised how weak my legs currently were.
"I don't need the help. I'm just tired." I shouldered on stubbornly, and if my gait was a little awkward then we'll ignore that shall we? Honestly, my legs were more stiff than anything. Didn't think I'd done that much running.
"What happened last night?" Grunt spoke up after a minute as my shadow. I blinked a few times at the question, needing a moment to register what he'd asked. I'd straight up zoned out.
"If you haven't heard, it was a trap."
"Garrus told me, but not much else, he wanted to sleep as well." Grunt nodded.
"Good for him." I griped, still annoyed I was awake. I'd slept through worse in the past, I wasn't getting soft was I? "The collector ship's layout was bizarre, didn't make any sense. There were too many twists and turns to the main console. It was in a massive room filled with entrances from all locations, even vertically." I explained as we walked, our pace set by my far smaller legs, and slower pace.
"Why vertically?"
"The flyers." I answered Grunt, who nodded, accepting the answer. "The moment EDI accessed the console the ship started to reactivate, and then they started attacking. It was a deathtrap in there so we had to take a different route."
We stepped into the elevator, which thankfully lacked any other riders. I turned around and leaned against the wall with relief, grateful for some support even if I refused to let Grunt help me.
"We had to fight collectors through our entire retreat, I had to kill so fucking many of them. Near the end were a new type of collector, they were … bigger" I glanced at Grunt in consideration as he listened intently. I suppose it makes for a good story, … not nearly as fun when you were the one who actually did it. "You'd like them. They could take some damage before going down, I stabbed one of the big bastards in the head and it still kept fighting."
"Really?" Grunt grinned toothily. "I'll look out for them." He nodded, pleased before his smile left him. "What happened to Mordin, and Shepard?"
Mordin, … I'd been ignoring that.
"You remember the huge one with lasers on Horizon?" Grunt nodded. That was still his second favourite fight, right after the Thresher Maw. "There was another one in the last corridor before yours. It ambushed us and Mordin was its first target. He died almost instantly, … I barely had the time to dodge myself. That's how I broke my elbow." I gestured towards the still cradled arm. "The bug was blocking the only way I could go, separating me from the rest of the squad as I had been bringing up the rear. I got past it with their help as a distraction, and that brings us to where we met up. What was it like on your end?" I asked Grunt, trying to avoid the other thing he asked.
"Boring, only fought a few husks. Now what happened with Shepard." Grunt narrowed his eyes as the elevator finally opened, letting us out.
I don't know what I want to do about Shepard, …that's a lie, I do know. I'm angry, furious actually.
She threatened me, after I spent the entire mission saving everyone's asses! I failed Mordin, yes, but what the fuck was I supposed to do?! Those behemoths are lethal at close quarters. I almost fucking died myself!
Mordin died, and I get that she seemed to take it hard, but Shepard isn't a fresh recruit. She's a damned Spectre, she should know better, should be better. Yet she turned the blame on me. It's not like I was the only one near him at the time, the rest of the squad left us behind, yet it was only me that she blamed. She left him behind as well.
I tried to see it logically, to see it from her perspective. But this wasn't the first time she had blamed me. She'd let Tali get away with her little stunt without punishment. What if it had been me doing it to Tali huh? What then? Would I have been given a pass? No.
Shepard may have known Tali longer than me, but that wasn't an excuse. It was the reason she picked Tali's side.
I had barely interacted with Shepard since then, she was keeping me at a distance, something I could no longer deny. Why, was it so she could have someone to blame when things went wrong? Just because I lived on Omega –
No, that's just speculation. I don't know what reasons are behind her suspicion, but I know she has them. She's proven that. I'd hoped to gain her help with my search when this whole thing started, but that hadn't gone anywhere.
But you don't need her help now do you? Miranda had already risked so much to give me the information she did. She gave you more than Shepard ever did, actually tried to help. I never saw Shepard doing anything after I mentioned my reasons for being here, … do I even need her anymore?
That … I'll think about this later when I had a clear head.
"Shepard was … affected by Mordin's death." I tried to be diplomatic with Grunt, our mission was important, I shouldn't try to stir up trouble for Shepard regardless of my misgivings.
"But she attacked you, challenged you. That isn't something you ignore." Grunt rumbled next to me. I don't know what to do with him, as I can see he's looking at this from the Krogan perspective. If I looked at it in that way I could see what he meant, but Krogan's had their bloodthirsty reputation for a reason.
"I …," we arrived at Karen's office. "We can talk more later. My elbow needs to be seen to first."
"Of course, Leader. Want me to leave?" Grunt backed down.
"I don't mind."
I knocked on the door a few times, perhaps a little harder than necessary, sue me.
"Come in!" came through the door. I opened it to find Karen seated at her desk, reading off a data pad. She looked up to see me with an unimpressed look.
"And the sleeping maiden awakens. I wondered when I would see you, as per protocol." She sent me a pointed look. I waved my good hand at her, turning to lock the now closed door.
"I was tired."
"Clearly," she sighed. "Now what's wrong with your arm?"
"My elbow seems to be broken." Karen just gave me another, longer, look before sighing.
"Of course it is" she muttered, "let's get your armour off then."
I tried to do so, but even the small amount I moved my arm increased the dull throbbing viscously. Yeah …, I don't think I'll be of much help. Karen just tsked at me for trying.
"Grunt?" I looked to him for help as well. He got what I meant immediately and together the three of us started the painful process of removing my armour. Taking off the bad arm was fun. Eventually I stood there with just a shirt on my top half, the rest of the armour off.
The sudden increase in brightness wasn't appreciated, I hadn't realised my helmet was dimming the lights for me that much. I stood there squinting for a minute until my eyes somewhat adjusted.
Karen prodded my arm carefully, moving it around with care as she assessed the damage. I hissed at her a few times when the pain flared especially brightly, but otherwise let her do her thing.
"Well, it's broken alright. More importantly, it wasn't a clean break. There's some damage to the flesh around it, so I'm going to need direct access to the area." Karen turned around, reaching for an instrument. "I'll cut off the sleeve, don't worry."
"Hey!" I raised my other arm. She wasn't cutting shit, this shirt was one of the ones given to me by the dancers. I didn't have many, and more importantly I didn't have many clothes on board the ship, I couldn't afford to lose any that I didn't have to. "I don't want it cut. Just help me take it off."
"You sure?" Karen glanced at Grunt pointedly, who was watching the process with interest. I suppose he went through something similar himself.
"I don't care." I started to pull the shirt up, requiring Karen's help to actually get it off. This left me entirely bare on top, and the room was rather cold.
It was better than losing the shirt. I … I didn't want to lose anything I didn't have to.
"Alright, this will take a while so just sit back and relax." Karen didn't offer to put me out like she did Grunt, she must have known I would refuse. Her understanding was … appreciated.
Grunt was also watching me intently, had he not seen? … I suppose not. This better not awaken anything in him.
"What are the markings covering you?" Grunt spoke up, having otherwise remained silent for the last 5 minutes while Karen worked. Markings? Oh, he means my tattoos.
"Tattoos, they're created by injecting ink into my skin with a needle."
"So your skin isn't meant to be coloured?" … What?
"No, her skin should be that pale white colour you see." Karen spoke up without looking up from her work. … hey! I'm not that pale.
I was purposely looking away from my arm, not wanting to watch the process. This situation was a little too familiar for my liking, but it was better than being put under. Karen had numbed the area so I couldn't actually feel whatever she was doing, but the distraction in Grunt was still appreciated.
"But why?"
"Why not." I answered him, uncomfortable with the answer, but he looked confused. I … suppose I could answer him. I trust Karen enough for this as well.
"They cover scarring. I was experimented on as a child, and I hated looking at them." I explained to him briefly, not wanting to get into the details.
"Is that why you're so much stronger that the others, like me?" Grunt looked interested. Damn it.
"… Yeah. I don't like talking about it." I admitted, and Grunt finally realised I was uncomfortable with it.
"Who did this to you?" He asked, his idly curiosity sharpening.
"It doesn't matter."
He only narrowed his eyes further.
"They hurt you. I'll hurt them back." I couldn't help but smile at the offer. It was sweet of him, and while I appreciated the thought, it was a little late.
"I murdered the entire facility when I escaped." I told him, my smile weaking as the event in question flashed before my eyes.
Grunt's eyes widened, before he sighed and nodded. I don't think I'll mention the Cerberus involvement, as Grunt wasn't really one for discretion.
After that we were largely silent. Neither of us were particularly talkative, and I decided to rest my eyes for just a moment. Only a minute.
…
[POV: Karen Chakwas]
"I'm finished Jack." I told the girl, having packed up my equipment. Hearing no response, I looked up to find the girls eyes closed, her breathing even.
She'd fallen asleep? In her current position? I looked over her form one more time.
She was a beautiful girl, and the artwork she'd created was gorgeous. It was certainly an … unorthodox method of dealing with her trauma, but it seemed to work for her, and I can't say it was unhealthy. I'd long guessed much of what she'd been through, so this was far from the worst outcome.
It was up to her if she wanted to talk about any of it though, I refused to push for answers.
Jack was also fully exposed to both Grunt and I and didn't seem to even care.
"Grunt." I spoke up softly, getting his attention as he lifted his gaze from Jack. If I didn't know him better I would be concerned at his presence while Jack was in such a defenceless state, but he was essentially still a child. Her child. Whether she realised it or not, Jack had become something of a parental figure to him. She couldn't be safer with anyone else watching over her.
"She's exhausted, so I want to let her sleep. Would you mind standing guard?" He nodded seriously, standing up and walking over to Jack's side, turned around and crossed his arms. Well, … I didn't mean quite that literally, but this will work as well.
"Let me close the curtain around her as well, for privacy." I explained even as I started the process. It's lovely how automated this medical bay is, all I generally have to do is press a button.
There, now Jack will be able to get a proper rest, one that isn't in her armour which I just know she sleeps in. There must be some good scrubbers built into that thing because I couldn't tell by any other means than intuition. She even has her own personal Krogan standing in front of the curtain, ready to stop anyone or anything that tries to disturb her.
Well, there's always more work to do, so I may as well get to it.
…
I looked up at the sound of the door opening, it had been about an hour since Jack nodded off.
Stepping into the medical bay was Jane, who didn't even knock on the door. I sighed at the rudeness of the action, she used to be so polite about it. As much as I was glad to see her again after she … took her fall, she had changed. I'd tried to talk to her about it, concerned for her mental state, but had been stonewalled.
"Chakwas." Jane nodded, stepping into the bay with the door closing behind her. "Have you seen Fury? She wasn't in her room and I figured this was the only other spot she would be."
"Resting." I informed her. "She didn't come out unscathed from the last mission and required an operation, she's still healing from it."
Jane's eyes widened as she looked around the room, spotting the various pieces of armour littering the ground and the burly Krogan currently standing in front of the closed curtain. This is the main reason I closed the curtain in the first place, I can only lock the door while operating, it's against procedure after that.
"Is she …" Jane started asking, stepping towards the curtain. Before I could even open my mouth, Grunt took a solid step forward, blocking Jane's approach.
"She's fine, Commander." Grunt narrowed his eyes. Jane stopped, looking weary all of a sudden.
I decided to answer her before things got too out of hand, they were just staring at each other for some reason.
"It was her elbow, she had a nasty break in it that she ignored." I couldn't even hold it against her … too much. If she was as fatigued as the signs showed then it would be almost expected, … almost.
"She'll be alright though?" Jane asked pensively.
"If she rests for the next day or two." Which is something I can only hope.
Jane looked between me and Grunt a few times before she nodded.
"How are you Grunt?"
"Fine." He grumbled.
"I'd like to speak to Fury after she wakes up, would you pass on the message?"
He nodded wordlessly, not engaging back with her.
"… then I guess I'll see you around Grunt."
Jane waved to me before leaving, which I returned as I watched the door close behind her.
Well … that was awkward. I didn't know exactly what, but something had clearly happened between Jack and the Commander. Something Grunt was displeased about, which was concerning.
I don't know what you did Jane, but I hope you can fix it. Jack has been through a lot, and despite that she turned out to be a wonderful young lady. She was also incredibly lonely, as are you. I'd thought you would have already befriended her by know. I guess not.
[POV: Shepard]
Fury was in the medical office, her armour littering the floor. I didn't think she was even capable of taking it off, but there she was sleeping like that in a room with both Grunt and Chakwas.
Fury trusted them … but she didn't trust me, had never trusted me, not that much.
It felt like a blow, but what's new? I was just … surprised. I shouldn't have been, but something about seeing the armour on the ground jarred me. I took that step reflexively, for what reason I don't know, but Grunt reacted to it all the same.
It was the first time since he joined the crew that he actually seemed like a threat. I liked the Krogan, he treated me normally like so few of the crew did, even Garrus and Tali seemed concerned about what … happened to me.
I didn't realise how much I would miss being called 'bossman'.
…
Enough of this! I screwed up, okay?! I can't keep worrying about it though. I'll talk to Fury once she's up, but until then I have more important shit to do.
Such as the fucking AI spying on me for the illusive dickhole.
"Miranda!" I barked, knocking on her door, perhaps rougher than I should have. This was the one door on the ship that was locked to me, and it wasn't even the medical office.
It was just another reminder of who she was really loyal too. Another Cerberus dog.
"Come in." She called out as the door opened, revealing Miranda to still be seated at her desk.
"What can I do for you Commander?" She asked pleasantly, as if nothing had even happened!
"Cut the shit, you know damn well why I'm here." I got close to her, making sure to stare right into her eyes. "Did you know?"
"What?" She raised an eyebrow, leaning back.
"Did. You. Know?!" I hissed at her. The confused look in her eyes faded as her face turned neutral.
"I was there, wasn't I?"
"That doesn't answer my question." I narrowed my eyes. Miranda scowled in response.
"Of course I didn't bloody know! That was the riskiest ploy I have ever seen him take, and he did it with my life as well."
"I find that hard to believe. You have such special privileges after all." I raised both hands, gesturing around the luxurious office. She had better accommodation than me, which while possibly a little arrogant to think mine should be better, I was the ship's commander.
"If you think I hold any more of the Illusive Man's trust than you, then you're a fool."
"You work for him, you helped design this ship, you helped rebuild me!" I snarled. "That isn't what Grunts do. Jacob, he's a grunt. So is everyone else on this ship. Everyone but you." You were the only one with any control.
Miranda stood up, showing me her teeth.
"Don't go blaming me for everything just because someone died, Mordin's death is as much your fault as it is mine."
You fucking dare?! I know it's my fault. I also know that if I had known what I was getting into, I never would have brought the doctor. I thought about saying some more words to Miranda, but what would be the point? I was here for a reason. I still needed her help and shouting at her wouldn't get me anywhere. I'd tried that in the past with the council, didn't get me shit.
"Maybe you didn't know any more than me. I doubt it, but sure, let's go with that." I grabbed the seat placed in the corner of the room and put it in front of the desk before sitting down. Miranda narrowed her eyes at me again, confused by my sudden shift.
"What about EDI?"
"What about EDI?" Miranda retorted, crossing her arms and leaning back.
"What is she? You called her an AI, but that is a generic term at best. Is she free to make her own choices, or is she shackled to the Illusive man's whims."
"EDI is … unique. I don't fully understand her workings." Miranda evaded, but I wouldn't let her.
"She's the illusive man's puppet. She follows his orders, and those orders suddenly seem a lot let safe."
"The illusive man wouldn't have ordered yesterday's mission if he had a choice. It may have come at a cost, but we gained much from Mordin's sacrifice."
"Sacrifice," I spat. That was the same logic the Illusive Man had given me. The cold logic of it being 'worth it'. We don't just use people as pawns to be sacrificed. "Call it what it was, his murder."
"Either way. He's dead and nothing will change that. Are you going to squander the chance it's given us?" Miranda asked cooly, crossing her hands in front of her face.
I wanted to punch her in her pretty little teeth, so fucking badly.
"It won't happen again." I stared furiously into her eyes. Miranda sighed at me, before smiling wanly.
"It's not up to us."
"And what do you think will happen if it does happen again?" I smiled at her sweetly. Miranda face didn't reveal any of her thoughts on my words.
"Then you will do something foolish that very well might doom us all. The illusive man, for all his faults, for all he's done, is trying to protect humanity."
"Humanity, or himself?" I sneered. Miranda didn't reply, instead just watching me.
"If this mission is so dangerous, that he needs to take these risks, then why is the ship the same?" I questioned her.
"What do you mean, it's bigger for one thing, or hadn't you noticed?" her eyes widened mockingly.
"It has the same shields. The same weapons. The same bloody armour, armour which was torn through by one of the collector ships. If he was so worried about the collectors, then why did he not upgrade the ship, instead of creating a fancy replacement."
Miranda grimaced. Oh? Care to share with the class? I stared her down until she finally sighed.
"It was meant to." She admitted, typing away at her laptop to bring up some plans that she made visible to me. "There were designs for it, plans, but we ran into an issue with funding."
"Funding," I repeated, "after all he already spent?"
Miranda gave me a look.
"Despite what you may think, Cerberus' resources aren't limitless, and it has many divisions in need of funding. He put all he already could into this venture both timewise, and financially, it ultimately came between the ship's upgrades, and you."
Me? My brow furrowed.
"Shepard, rebuilding you cost more than the ship." Miranda clarified.
It what?! How the fuck does that work? I'm the size of a person, and it's a ship.
"I won't give you the figures, but they are disgustingly high. Now, upgrades were kept in mind as the ship was built, so it should be simple to alter the ship with suitable ones. I could provide funding for it now after Cerberus received a sudden windfall, but it would take time, too much time."
I can work with that.
"What about EDI?" I changed track back to my earlier topic.
"Are you still on that, what the hell do you want me to do?!" Miranda exclaimed.
"Do something, or I will."
I stood up, the chair screeching as it slid back along the ground.
"And just what am I meant to do? EDI is integral to the ships function. And despite what you think, she can't just take control of the ship. We put in some failsafe's. There's also nothing she can do without cameras and microphones. Fury has certainly proven that well enough." Miranda called out snidely to me.
I grit my teeth at the taunt, instead turning around and walking out of the room. The little reminder there at the end was definitely on purpose.
[POV: Jack]
The clacking of keys caught my attention, but they sounded distant. Distorted.
…
Did I fall asleep?
I still felt groggy, but opening my eyes wasn't the same chore as before. It still took a moment to adjust to the light in the room, but I could keep them open without too much effort now.
I laid there breathing deeply for a minute, and to my wonder nothing felt off. Moving my arm, a little produced no pain, only the slightest hint of discomfort. How long was I out for?
The question finally roused me long enough to notice the lack of anything covering me. I was lying on the bed naked from the waist up, clad in only the thin pair of pants I wore underneath my armour. Did I take off my leg armour, or was it Karen …? I honestly can't remember.
I would appreciate the shirt right about now though. Some air brushed gently over my chest and I shivered. A little from the cold … and maybe a little from something else. The stiffening nipples were definitely due to cold. But just to make sure …
I lifted both hands up, resting them on the flat of my stomach before slowly, ever so slowly dragging them up. I was definitely shivering now, but I didn't feel cold. Finally, my hands reached their destination and I couldn't resist pinching the little points with my fingers.
A noise came out of me that I'm going to pretend is a groan. I reluctantly pulled my hands away though, this wasn't exactly a private location. I could use one of those.
I miss having my own room. As much as I enjoy Grunt's company, there were some perks that I missed.
"That better be from you moving your arm in there!" Karen interrupted my train of thought. I flinched at the jest, my cheeks warming a little, but I decided to play it off.
"Nah, I'm fist deep over here, wanna see?" Really? That was your excuse?
I slowly pushed myself up until I was sitting, my feet dangling off the side of the bed. The curtain was opened shortly after.
"And here I was expecting to find a show." She smiled at me cheekily.
"Maybe the next time you pull out that blue bottle."
"Promises, promises." She tsked fondly as she grabbed my arm, pushing and pulling at it a little as she passed a scanner over it. "Well, everything seems to be good. You can put your shirt back on."
"If I must." I sighed dramatically as I grabbed the offered piece of clothing. My arm was still a little tender in places, but nothing terrible.
"Where's Grunt?" I asked curiously, making no move to put on my armour just yet.
"He got hungry, so I sent him away. That being said, Shepard also tried to visit, she wants to talk to you."
My oddly good mood evaporated at that.
Right, we still have to have a talk, don't we?
"Jack?" Karen asked, regaining my attention as she looked at me with some concern.
"Thanks for telling me. I'll go see her."
"I would possibly wait, it's currently the middle of the night."
Wait, how long was I asleep? And Was I keeping Karen awake. I scrutinised her for a moment, looking for any signs of fatigue.
"Don't worry about me Jack, I'm used to this sort of thing." She waved her hand as she turned around and walked towards a familiar part of the room.
"Now, I think you mentioned something about a blue bottle?" she asked, turning around with it in hand, a smirk on her face.
Oh really?
"Well if the doctor says so." I shrugged, patting the bed beside me. Karen laughed but didn't reject the statement, instead grabbing two glasses and walking over to me.
I took the offered glass with a grin and watched her fill it up gleefully.
She raised her own up slightly and I tapped them together before taking a sip of the drink, savouring the burn.
"Fury!" Shepard called out to me as I walked through the hallway. I stopped with a wince, still a little groggy after waking up, but this time not from fatigue. I'd fallen asleep in the medical bay alongside Karen, not wanting to walk all the way to my room after perhaps one too many drinks.
I wasn't that groggy though.
"Shepard." I acknowledged her, stopping and leaning against the wall. She made her way to me and paused before leaning into the wall across from me. The ship wasn't big enough to have anything but small hallways, so she was a little closer than I would have preferred. At least this will be relatively private?
"I wanted to speak to you." She started off.
"Then speak." I crossed my arms.
"… that's fair." Shepard sighed. "How's your arm?"
"Feels fine to me. Karen said I had to rest it for a few days for some reason."
"Never figured that part out myself." She chuckled. I didn't join her, not exactly feeling like it. Shepard realised this quickly as I remained silent, instead I let it stretch between us as I waited for her to get to the point.
"I wanted to apologise."
"For what? I was the one closest to Mordin when her died. It was certainly suspicious." I narrowed my eyes, at her, unseen as they were.
"That doesn't justify my actions." Shepard shook her head. "I was … angry."
"Taking out your anger on a subordinate seems normal to me. I've seen it happen all the time." The fact that Omega was my home didn't need to be said.
"I'm sorry, okay!" Shepard exclaimed, her brow ruffled. "I took out my guilt on you, blamed you for something that wasn't your fault and I'm sorry."
Shepard bit out the last sentence, frustrated with me.
Good.
"You need to realise something Shepard." I uncrossed my arms and stood up straight. "Words don't mean a thing. You can apologise all you want, I won't give a shit either way. You know what means something? Actions." I spoke with clipped words, trying to hammer in my point.
I got in nice and close with her, putting my helmet close enough that I could see all the small details in her annoyingly pretty eyes.
"And your actions so far? They've spoken for you. Once, I will let pass. Twice? That's pushing it." I stood straight once more.
"I let you in on some of my secrets, trusted you with them despite my misgivings. I have yet to receive any proof that I was right to do so."
I turned around away from her, calling back over my shoulder one last time.
"Three times and we might have an issue."
I never raised my voice at her, not even once despite how much I wanted to. If anyone on Omega pulled some of the things she did? I would have at the very least put them on the ground. I didn't do it to her because I respected what she'd done, all she'd accomplished.
That respect could only last so long.
"Fury?" another voice called out to me, this time it was Miranda. All the conversations today it seems. "Do you have some time?" she glanced behind me at that, but I didn't care.
For you? Yes. Not like I can do any training. I stepped into her office without a word, the door hissing shut softly behind me.
I didn't see the glaring green eyes that watched me do so.
[POV: Shepard]
Speaking with Fury hadn't gone like I'd hoped.
Why couldn't she just accept the damn apology? I was in the wrong, I knew that. I admitted it! Yet she didn't care. Did she even listen? I don't know. What I do know is that there was truth in what she said. Actions do matter, and I'd seen with my own eyes how close she was with Miranda.
Fury seemed perfectly happy to speak to her, yet I remember how frosty their relationship was to begin with. They never seemed to even interact, then out of the blue Fury offered to go help Miranda on her mission. I don't know what transpired that day, but the two have been friendly since. The initial meeting wasn't a ruse was it? Maybe Miranda managed to sway Fury to her side some way during her personal mission? I just don't know what to think. I do know that Miranda is hiding things from me, as is Fury. Maybe Miranda got some dirt on Fury, maybe they already knew each other, maybe I'm just being paranoid. Either way, it left an ugly feeling in my gut.
Even Samara seemed intrigued by the bloodthirsty mercenary. She'd questioned basically every member of the crew about her, and I see her go visit Fury at least once a day now. Just what is going on?
I shouldn't be so hung up on it, but I was even when there were more important things to do, such as the current meeting.
"Shepard." Garrus greeted me as he entered the room.
I'd invited him and Tali alone, the only two I trusted for this.
"You recovered?"
"Rested too. You never did say what this was about, care to clue me in?"
"Let's wait till Tali gets here." I smirked, knowing it would just annoy him.
"Fine." He sighed.
"… how'd things turn out with Fury?" he asked after leaning against the meeting room console.
The hell?! Why he'd bring it up out of nowhere? I glared at Garrus rather than answer.
"Fine, fine." He raised his hands in front of him. "I'll take it as not good. I won't ask any further."
Good.
"… so how are you doing about Mordin?"
God damnit, why is this a bloody interrogation? I sent a withering look at him.
"We all knew the risks Shepard." Garrus didn't seem to get the message.
"No, we didn't, we didn't know it was a trap."
"But we did know we would be on an enemy ship that no one knew anything about, aside from how lethal their weaponry could be." Garrus spoke dispassionately. Why the fuck are you justifying it?
"I just thought I should give my opinion." He added on.
"Noted. Now shut up."
"Very well." He sighed.
It took another minute of awkward silence before Tali finally turned up.
"Shepard. Garrus." She nodded to us both before turning to me. "What did you wish to speak about?"
"Upgrades." I replied.
"For the crew, or …" she tilted her head, trailing off.
"The ship. The previous Normandy was torn apart last time. That won't happen again."
"I don't disagree, but isn't that a pipe dream? The Normandy isn't exactly simple. It would be expensive, and take a long time." Garrus mused.
"Not necessarily." I replied, turning on the console. "Garrus, you've been working on something for the Normandy's main guns, haven't you?"
Garrus' mandibles opened widely as he stared at me. You thought I wouldn't remember? Maybe before I would, but not after my fall, not after the fate of the fifth fleet.
"I do have something." He eventually nodded. "I call it a Phalanx gun, it's based on some of the tech Sovereign used." Shit, really? That's impressive.
"And how'd you get hands on that information? I tried." Tali asked, shocked. Garrus smirked back at her.
"You'd be amazed at what can be found in the terminus systems. I took the data from some enterprising chaps more than a year ago and have been tinkering with it since."
"Good man." I brought up the schematics I had been looking for, the ones provided by Cerberus. "The Normandy was meant to be upgraded in the first place, it just never happened. There were some armour designs finalised though."
I showed them the designs I discovered after snooping a little through the files I was given by Miranda. She'd sent them after our meeting. Probably had to ask her owner for permission.
Garrus whistled after taking a look at them.
"This should do nicely, looks expensive though."
"We're spending Cerberus money on it, so I don't really care." If I took a little vindictive pleasure from spending so much of their money, who had to know?
"If that's the case I actually have something for the shields." Tali spoke up, to my surprise. Really? Seeing my look, she shrugged. "What, I get bored some nights."
And that's how you relax?
"Well then, that covers our bases in regards to upgrades. Everything else would be unnecessary."
"But how will we build it? Cerberus can provide the funds, but what about the time?"
"I was hoping you could help me with that Tali." I turned to face the girl, who hummed as she looked up from something she had been fiddling with on her Omni-tool.
"… what? Oh, you mean the Quarians?"
"You think they could do it?"
"Definitely, there may be a … small problem though." She hunched into herself after the admission. What happened now?
"Tali?" I raised a brow at her expectantly.
"So, … I may be in some trouble?" Tali winced.
What?
"What do you mean?"
"About 10 minutes ago. I received a summons by the Quarian admiralty. I've been accused of treason."
"On what charges?!" I exclaimed.
"I don't know." She wrapped her hands together, squeezing them together tightly.
"I'll help you sort things out, okay?" I placed my hand on her shoulder.
"Thank you Shepard." She told me gratefully.
We spent the next 15 minutes discussing how the upgrades would work, but everything seemed to have lined up in that there was no other difficulties except for gaining the Quarian assistance.
"Is that all then?" Tali queried, and I shook my head.
"I wanted to ask you about Fury."
"Ask what?" Garrus looked weary of the new topic.
"What do you really know about her, about her past?"
"Very little. But I don't like where this is coming from. She's trustworthy Shepard." Garrus replied, while Tali didn't comment.
"But do you really even know?"
"I know enough." He shook his head. "I know that she saved my life when I was betrayed by a member of my crew. Helped deal with the aftermath too."
"And she did that out of the kindness of her heart."
"I didn't ask. She never demanded anything from me, so I treated it as an act of good faith. I won't be part of any suspicions about her." Garrus stated firmly.
"Just leave her alone Shepard, the one thing I have truly learnt about Fury? She only acts when provoked." Garrus then left the room, done with the conversation.
Has Fury gotten to him as well? I could dismiss the words of others. They could be lying or just mislead, Garrus wouldn't do that. I knew him, I trusted him completely. If he doesn't have any doubts, then should I?
"If you want to find out for sure, then we need to go to Omega. The trail leads there." Tali spoke up softly from beside me.
What? She'd looked into it? … I shouldn't be surprised. I knew she had when I didn't stop her, I'd just pushed it out of my mind.
Should I?
I … it would be an invasion of privacy, a major one. Yet, … could I remove these doubts if I didn't?
I didn't want to sink that low, but what's a little more? At the end of the day, I want to know one way or another. I don't want to have these doubts any longer.
"I'll see what I can do." I muttered. Tali nodded quietly and then left.
I don't know what I would prefer, if my suspicions were right, … or if they weren't.