I didn't see Ana again for the large part of the week. I had a few meetings in Toronto on Tuesday, Houston on Wednesday, several days in New York, a golf weekend in Ballybunion with some prospect partners. Great business is always done on the golf course. My only constant was Ana, talking to her every night before she went to bed. So nauseously romantic of me. We stuck to voice messages when I was in Ireland due to the time difference. I caught myself red handed at replaying her messages more often than necessary.
Grey, seems like you're growing soft in your old age.
"I guess Anastasia Stal is not your real name then?" I can't believe I only managed to ask her that now. We just finished dinner. It's just the two of us, in my apartment. I invited her… well more persuaded her to come see me on Monday after work. At first she politely declined saying she didn't think that would be a good idea because she had work in the morning. So what? I stayed persistent and she gave in. Her hesitancy felt even more odd when she arrived at my apartment. The elevator opened, just one look and we were all over each other.
Fuck yeah, she missed me too.
It was good to see her without crutches. Hoping we could leave everything that happened a week ago behind and start from zero.
"No, that's my pseudonym. My name is Steele, like my step dad Raymond Steele, however he treated me like his own. Stal is the polish word for steel. It was.. Kind of an inside joke to me."
I simply nod to that, it felt good to know she was trusting me enough at this point to talk about her personal life.
"Ana.. Now that we have agreed that you won't pursue your career.. I thought you'd be interested in a different kind of contract." I clear my throat, never had negotiating a submissive contract been so awfully tense. I feels like out of the frying pan and into the fire.
"What do you mean.. Won't pursue your career?" her attention all on me.
"Well, now that you've got the money for your father's bills, there certainly isn't a reason for you to be an Escort anymore." Right? Or am I the only logical one here.
"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.." she begins and fumbles with her sleeve.
What. The. Fuck.
"Are you serious?! You're thinking about continuing to fuck for money?!" Surely not fucking me. Other men. How could I have be so shockingly stupid. She did use me… for my freaking money!
"Christian…" she starts again and I don't want to hear any of it. I come to a stand, burning in anger. At her. At myself.
"Don't 'Christian' me! How could I be so stupid?" And blind..?
"Christian, for God's sake! Would you even listen to me! I actually do not want to do it… I just feel like there's no other way.."
Fucking hell. What is she taking about? How much did she lie to me, what other dirty secrets did she have?
"You better be quick Anastasia. I'm not a patient man."
She looks around the apartment as if searching for support. Well, you should Ana. No matter what honorable reason you have to need more money, it won't save you from my anger. You'll be out this door in seconds. Breaking my trust is an unforgivable sin.
"I want to see you again and I don't think there's any other way than that…"
What?
"I don't understand." I say, I'm certainly not stupid and still this woman makes me feel like being dumb.
She blushes a little. I need a fucking answer, now!
"What do you mean… you don't think there's any other way than being my Escort to see me again."
"I'm not allowed to date my clients outside of their arrangements. It's one of their policies." That's the biggest bullshit I've heard in years.
"What is it with those damn policies? I'm pretty sure there are tons of sex workers dating their clients."
"How would you know?"
"I'm a guy, Ana. I know."
"So you've dated a sex worker?"
"Don't deviate from the topic. But no. I personally didn't. I just happen to have a sexually active brother."
"Elliot?! Does Kate know?!"
"I don't care how much my brother has told his fiancé about his past relationships." Why are we even talking about Elliot at this point?!
"Well then just resign or whatever you have to do to terminate your contract."
"Yeah. EE is smarter than that. They have that covered. Blocking period."
"How long?" I say impatiently.
"A year after I quit."
A year?! That's definitely a cock blocking period. Who in their right mind would want to wait for a whole year to date an ex Escort?!
"Ana, this sounds like a hell lot of bullshit to me. Is this your way of trying to secure our arrangement and squeeze some more cash out of me?" I'm not a fucking idiot.
Where shyness and insecurity had painted her face, it is now fury. Her eyes glistening suspiciously.
"You know what, Christian? Screw you! I don't need to hear you talk to me like that. Without you my life would be easier anyway!" She jumps up to her good foot and strides past me still not putting her full weight on her injured side.
I don't follow her. She takes her bag and bends down to put on her shoes.
"At least, I don't have to go back and be an Escort anymore. So thank you, Christian, thank you for being an asshole."
That makes my head turn. So… she doesn't want to continue? In the matter of minutes, has she changed her mind?
"Wait." I say, still not standing up. She stops in her tracks. "You really mean it?" I say.
She rolls her eyes heavenwards. Yeah, mutual feelings babe.
"This is one fucked up situation for me, too." She says.
I stand up and walk towards her. This is your last chance Ana. So you better be good.
"If you'd given me even the chance to talk I wanted to suggest that I pay you back everything that I earn that way… to somehow prove to you that it's not about the money."
Pay me back? What the fuck. I need to control my temper and take control of myself. My mind is reeling at this point.
For a moment I wonder why I was so pissed off at the mere chance that she only wanted me for my money. It wasn't like all the other women had taken advantage of that under our dominant submissive relationship. I just dismissed them when the arrangement wasn't suitable for me anymore. Not batting a single eyelash.
"Ana, I'm so fucking confused and that doesn't happen very often." Never happened. Since I met you it is oddly an adamant state of mine.
"That doesn't sound like an enforceable clause. And let's be honest even if.. What would that agency of yours do? Fine you? Or me? It's not like they could stop you from seeing me." The more I talk the less believable her words become to me. Again fueling my anger. Why was I even trying to buy her shit?
She looks at me warily.
"I know this is hard to believe.."
"Hard to believe!? That's an understatement!"
"At least try to listen!"
So I shut my mouth and let her talk. Obviously EE knows that getting women close to rich and powerful men is their most valuable merit. Trying to protect this privilege to themselves they haven't feared of going… unethical ways to ensure that the power stayed with them. It seems she had talked to other woman working for EE who had advised her to never disregard the policies. There were rumors of stalking and blackmail after being warned off. However never being able to connect those to EE, all of this was more a rumor than facts.
"Ana, that doesn't sound like a serious agency… more like human trafficking. And let's be serious that's just…"
A fucked up story. But then, everywhere where easy money was made people didn't hesitate to take extreme measures when their interests were at risk. And there was a lot of money on the table for EE with this business model. Could it be that Ana had gotten herself into a shady, morally questionable agency that didn't shy away from anything to keep their profit margins high?
"I know. It's just not something I want to… find out for myself."
Understandable. Based on my judgment Ana doesn't come from a problematic household, I can't imagine her getting into any serious trouble. She seems kind of… innocent.
"Why agree to work for them then…?"
"Yeah well.. remember? Didn't think it would actually be happening and if… I didn't plan on breaking the rules, yet alone dating old rich men.. "
"I'm just seven years older than you." Seven. That's not that many.
She laughs. "I didn't mean you… actually I didn't imagine someone like you at all." Both of us remain quiet, occupied by our own tumultuous thoughts.
"I had the wrong idea in my mind that only.. Desperate, lonely men would want this kind of thing." Was she trying to fill the silence?
I don't say anything to that. Wondering how again our conversation had taken a turn.
"And I was so wrong. Actually I'm ashamed I was so close minded before. There are a lot of reasons men and women would be wanting this kind of relationship. There's a broad spectrum from platonic outings to the sexual encounters. Each one of them have their own raison d'etre." Yeah, she's babbling at this point. Definitely out of nervosity. I can't blame her.
Where does that leave us then? God, if I thought our relationship was complicated on our first meeting it had certainly upped the game now. How was I supposed to be with her, under these weird circumstances, knowing that Ana somehow was forced into it. And the absurdity that she would be my Escort because she wanted to see me?! How could I even navigate us into a dominant submissive relationship if we were already bound to other laws. It didn't sit right with me.
"Can I see that contract of yours? With EE?" I ask.
"You still don't believe me? What do I have to do to earn your trust?" she says exasperated, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
Trust. That's what it always comes down to. I've questioned her honesty several times at this point only to be proven wrong. The real question is.. Do I trust her or not?
"I do trust you. Listen.." I grab my hair, clearly I look like an idiot to her. The idiot that I am. "I'm trying to find a solution here. Maybe my lawyer can have a look." My lawyer. I need Welch on this as soon as possible. Maybe all of this are empty threats by EE and we could just move on from this?
She nods absently, not looking at me. "I'll send you a copy. Can I go home? I'm really tired." Ana says. Weird how she's asking my permission now.
"I'll drive you." I say. She shakes her head.
"Thank you.. I'll manage." With that she leans in to kiss my cheek. I walk her to the elevator. Saying goodbye. And then she's gone without us having solved anything.
I'm not sure this is going to work out in any way. But certainty is only obtainable by getting more information.
"Good evening, Mr. Grey."
"Welch. I need you to look into something for me. No written reports on this matter. "
I get right to the point. I want all the facts and data about EE. He should look into their policies, look for cases of assault and how the agency handled them. Other businesses they might be involved.
"I have a special interest to see if clients have attempted to be in a relationship with any of the Escorts. Outside of their contracts. And if they did, how that ended."
"Sir. From my experience, speaking of the clientele that is served by said organization, it will be very challenging to access their data. And surely it will take us longer to obtain any usable information."
"Why?" Welch normally wasn't so insecure about his abilities.
"Just imagine if someone wanted to find out about the most private part of your life, Mr. Grey. The elite knows who to hire to keep their skeletons in the closet."
Fair points well made. If somebody was trying to find out about my contractual relationships he'd be searching till the dead turn in their graves.
"What time frame are we speaking?"
"Weeks… months." Wow, if Welch was so pessimistic then I should prepare myself to be disappointed.
This will be a patience game then.