A/N:Hi!
I was a little off on remaining chapters, however there will be ONE more major chapter followed by an epilogue. As always thanks to Sheri and thanks for your support
Before I Die
Chapter 39 Lockdown Pt. 2
After getting out of the shower, Edward had gotten ready and took his leave. He told me he'd be around. Whatever that meant, I don't know. I know he had a lot on his shoulders but the way he had been treating me lately was no excuse. Since I had been with Edward, his moods had been up and down and I already knew it had to relate to his childhood.
However, I still loved him and would put up with all his faults just like he would with me. But oh my shit, it was exhausting sometimes. I tried to remember Miami where we were in wedded bliss. It seemed so long ago but it had only been almost 2 ½ weeks.
I put some stretchy work out pants and a tank top on and threw my hair up in a ponytail while putting a little makeup on to hide my red, broken-out face from acne. While putting my sneakers on, then it really hit me. There was possibly someone in this house who wanted to hurt us. All the faces of the ones I had seen lately flashed through my head. I had heard Esme tell us one night in her drunken state that some of the guards had been in the family for years. So, who would easily turn on the family?
My face dropped; this was probably the reason Edward didn't want me to know. My face would give everything away. I needed to stay alert and try not to let any emotions show on my face. I wouldn't say anything to anyone either, but I would definitely be more cautious.
I left the bedroom when I heard arguing downstairs. I'm not sure who it was but I really didn't want to go down there. I decided to go check on Carlisle but when I reached his bedroom door, I heard Esme so I decided not to go in there. Huffing a breath, I made my way downstairs. I got closer to the yelling and found out it was Alice and Jasper.
When weren't they arguing? However, this sounded intense. Alice was crying, and Jasper was pleading with her on what I don't know.
"You're lying! How could you not know?" Alice yelled but it came out more like a sob.
"I didn't. It had to happen; your brother is having issues with trust so I let him do it."
Do what? What was Jasper talking about? What did Edward make him do?
"You promised me." Alice let out a sob. "You promised me!"
"Yeah! And you promised me you wouldn't go behind my back and see a specialist but you did, didn't you?" Jasper screamed at her and I was a little shocked because I don't think I ever heard him get that loud with her even when he first found out that she had gone to the Specialist.
I heard Alice sob. "You haven't forgiven me, have you?" I heard her say in a tiny voice.
"We breaking this up or letting it happen?" Rose said from behind me and I almost yelped.
I shrugged because honestly this sounded like something they needed to work out. I was also under the impression that they had worked it out or maybe Jasper was holding a grudge.
I heard a sigh and then heard footsteps coming our way so I decided to act like I didn't hear nothing going on as we walked towards the kitchen. Jasper stopped when he saw us. He shook his head and passed us as we walked into the kitchen. Alice had her head in her hands and didn't hear us approach.
Rose went to the cabinet and it looked like she was getting stuff to make drinks. I sat down at the table beside Alice as she rose her head and sighed. I offered her a tissue, and she took it to wipe her eyes.
"I guess you both heard that?" she said as she blew her nose.
"Some of it," I said. I still didn't know what Edward made Jasper do but whatever it was Alice didn't seem happy.
"Thanks to my brother, my husband now has the Cullen Insignia on his fucking arm!" Alice said with an angry voice and I nodded now realizing what that meant. Edward had one on his arm and I knew Laurent did so that must mean one thing:
Jasper had been made.
I knew the tattoo meant they were a part of the Cullen Family. I assumed most of everyone here had the tattoo on their arm. I guess Edward wasn't playing around with his men and trying to find this rat.
Rose nodded at me when I glanced at her and brought over some drinks. "Here," I said, pushing what looked like a Mimosa towards Alice. She glanced at it for a bit and then gulped it down.
"Want another? This is definitely what your ass needs!" Rosalie said with a smile as Rosalie then laughed as she took a drink. Alice nodded at Rose as she handed her glass. Rosalie made her another glass and Alice drank most of it before sitting it on the table. Alice had no rebuttal for Rose's words and I was a bit shocked.
Alice had been acting like a bitch lately. I mean a mega core bitch. So, for her to be silent right now was unlike her. However, she had that look in her eyes that she wanted to kill something or beat something up, I don't know. No matter, that look was a familiar one which I had seen lately upon Alice's face. Alice sighed and let out a breath. "I know I've been a pain in the ass lately but you guys just don't realize how a lot of things are hitting me at all at once," she said and took a drink. Rose looked at her but didn't say anything. However, I wanted to. "There's been too many changes all at once. I'm having trouble adapting."
"Then deal with it, don't act like a bitch, and treat everyone like shit. You're not the only one going through something right now." I said, understanding that things had changed for her quickly but so it had for me. Granted, Alice and I were two totally different people and grew up in two different lifestyles but she needed to know when she was being a bitch and literally not think she was the only one dealing with shit.
"I know. I just haven't been myself lately. It's no excuse but damn it, my dad is dying, we're in fucking lockdown and I don't know why! One of my brothers is fucking paranoid and the other got engaged without me knowing! It's like they hate me! My husband refuses to fuck me because he thinks I'm secretly taking fertility medication!" She was pretty loud with that last one, I guess she wanted Jasper to hear.
She finally snapped.
"Here have another," Rose said as she passed the drink to the blubbering bitch. I shook my head at her trying to hide my grin before I focused back on Alice.
"Alice, I'm going to give you some advice. You can take it or not. I mean it would be wise for you to," I said, ignoring Rosalie snickering beside me. I bet she was already drunk before coming down here. "What others do has nothing to do with you. Emmett getting engaged? It had nothing to do with you. Your brother being paranoid and running the family the way, he wants to? Nothing to do with you. The way you acted at Bree's shower trying to take the moment away from her for some unholy reason. Nothing to do with you. That was Bree's day!" I finished trying to keep the anger out of my voice.
Alice started crying again but I had no sympathy for her. She needed to be told her faults because she really thought she was some walking goddess and that we all had to bow down to her.
"Now, I'm sorry that you're having issues with having a baby but it doesn't give you the right to act like it," I said, finally taking the drink Rose sat in front of me. I just took a few sips before sitting it down again.
"I honestly think you're just really conceited," Rosalie said as she sipped her drink and Alice gave her a look. Damn Rose, just come out with it. I guess I couldn't blame her, Rosalie was Rosalie.
"How am I conceited?" Alice asked in an accusing voice. This wasn't the direction I was trying to go in. I just wanted to have a conservation with Alice, but Rosalie had other plans. Although, I couldn't blame her because she had kept her mouth shut all this time.
"I knew you before Bella did. I don't know if you remember that, but you didn't start acting off until after Edward and Bella were married. I know you were going through something at that time but I noticed you change." She then looked at me like she was going to hate what she was about to say. "Then Bella became pregnant which totally made you angry because you weren't and you decided to start being a bitch." Rosalie drank the rest of her drink while Alice glared at her.
She wasn't wrong, Alice has become difficult to be around the longer I knew her. "Instead of being happy and supportive you had to be miserable and not only are you miserable but you had to spread it!" Rosalie said getting louder as I tried to calm her down. She shook her head; she was too far gone to be calm.
"Then, Bella loses her baby after being taken! Taken, Alice! She goes into depression, and where were you?" Rosalie questioned her and I tried not to think of that time. "I mean we got her stubborn ass out of it but where were you?" Rosalie all but screamed.
"Edward didn't want any of us visiting," Alice said, giving Rose a glare. "So, it wasn't like I could just pop up over there."
"That doesn't matter, it's not like it hasn't stopped you before, because afterwards when Bella asked you to help her which she shouldn't have you told her some fucked up things!" Rose pointed at me and Alice gave me a look as to why I even said anything. She rolled her eyes at me and turned her gaze on Rose.
"You've got a lot of nerve to even say that to me!" Alice said standing up from the table as she talked to Rose.
"Oh, are we doing this now?" Rosalie said as she stood up.
"Guys!" I said in a warning tone looking at both of them who was having a stare down with each other as I slowly stood up.
Rosalie nodded at me and went to sit down when Alice started laughing. "What's funny?" I questioned her not liking the way she was laughing now.
"Rose listening to you, bowing down to you." She wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Because she's the Queen bitch," Rose said and I looked at Alice. I didn't like being called that, but at the moment it was necessary because I think it finally hit Alice that Rose and I were now above her. Our men were the boss and underboss of this family. Alice started crying and she started shouting words that I couldn't even understand. "She's also my best friend," Rosalie continued and I tried not to snort.
Once upon a time, I was Alice's friend until I realized what a self-centered person she was. I always tried to give her the benefit of a doubt but it seemed like she would never change. "I don't need this!" I heard her yell bringing me out of my thoughts. "My father is dying and you two are being such assholes." Alice said as she moved from the table but Rosalie was right beside her.
"Again, I'm going to say this clearly." Rose began grabbing Alice's arm and hair.
"Rosalie!" I shouted, there really didn't need to be a fight in Esme's kitchen.
"Let go of me!" Alice screamed, and I heard the front door open.
Rose got close to Alice and I tried to step in between them by grabbing Rosalie's arm. "Hey, come on, let go," I said to Rose who gave me a look but she leaned into Alice again.
"It's not only YOUR father, he has two other kids as well. Emmett and Edward's father is dying as well." She let go of Alice's hair then but kept a firm grip on her arm. "I don't know why Jasper stays with you. The poor guy must be so miserable to be with a self-centered cunt," she said as she let go of Alice's arm while two sets of footsteps walked in.
"Everything alright here?" Peter asked, looking at the three of us, James behind him looking at me. What was he doing here? He was one that hadn't been around lately.
"Everything's fine," Rosalie said with a smile as she turned from Alice to the men. "Just having a sisterly chat," she finished as I looked at Alice who had tears streaming down her face. Alice looked at us and quickly left the kitchen with Peter following behind her.
We must have been really loud, because the guards usually didn't stay in the house. They were outside making sure we were protected, basically making sure we didn't leave the house. I gave Rose a look as she watched Alice leave. She went too far with Alice, I thought. Did Alice need to be brought down? Yes, but to that extent? I think it was too much honestly.
Rosalie left as well. She said she was going to help Esme, but I really didn't believe her. Either she was actually going to help or she was going to think about what she just did. I tried not to snort at my thoughts. Rosalie going to think? Please.
James then came over to me, and I couldn't help but grin. It had been a while since I saw him. He smiled back once he stood in front of me. "Hey B!" he said as he went to hug me. I hugged back shortly before letting go and staring at him. He looked very tired especially around his eyes but he was all smiles and looked like himself if that made sense.
"Hey, haven't seen you in a while," I said as I cleaned up some of the stuff on the table in the kitchen. Esme had a maid but I liked doing stuff to keep me busy.
"I know it's been a minute. How are you?" he asked as he gave me a smile. I tried to smile back but it didn't reach my eyes.
"You know, hanging in there." I said as I carried plates and glasses to the sink and began to wash them. James followed me and helped me dry them once I had washed and rinsed. Neither of us talked and I wondered why he was in here.
Once we were done, I put the dishes up and sighed. Edward said I could go outside, but I wasn't sure where Seth was. He usually said something to me each morning but I haven't heard from him today. Growing restless, I headed for the door, leaving James to follow me. I gave him a look but he just kept smiling at me.
I opened the front door, and I swear I thought I may cry. The smell of the trees and flowers invaded my nose and the brisk air hit my skin. I closed my eyes to just feel everything. It had been too long since I had been out of this house. I stood on the huge steps just taking it all in.
"B? You, okay?" James asked as I opened my eyes. I had forgot I wasn't alone.
"Do you know where Seth is?" I really wondered where he may be. He was my guard so I was surprised he wasn't beside me right now. I wanted to go run, jog, whatever I could do while I had the opportunity to be outside.
"He has the day off." My eyes widened. I was shocked he did. The Edward had him protecting me at all times so why did he tell me I could come outside if he had given Seth the day off?
"I'm your guard today," James finished answering my thought. Now that I thought about it, Edward did say he would have a guard on me he never said Seth. "Just like old times," he laughed.
I smiled and felt a little giddy inside. Seth was my friend and he protected me well but James had something about him that made me feel welcomed when he was protecting me. He was like the big brother I never had. Maybe because when it also came to Edward, he would challenge him if it was something that really didn't need to happen. Seth would automatically become submissive.
"Low-key, I'm glad," I said as I stepped off the steps and began to stretch as he laughed.
"Oh! So, are we going running?" James said beside me as he began to jump in place. He seemed antsy but also carefree?
I gave him a smirk. "Are we racing? Because I think you want to race," I said as I stretched my legs. He gave me a grin.
"Yo, Caius!" He called the man near the garage that I had seen a few times. He had been in to check on Carlisle a few times but otherwise stayed near the garage or what I could tell. All I knew about him was that he used to be Carlisle's right hand man, just as James is to Edward now.
He came walking slowly towards us. I tried not to cringe but he looked scary as fuck with his pale skin and dark hair. He looked like a vampire to be honest or what they considered vampires in the movies.
"James?" he asked as he glanced at us, his gaze lingering a bit on me before he gave James his full attention.
"I need you to count down for us and follow us to make sure she doesn't cheat," James said with a grin.
I was pulled out of my thoughts of Caius to give James a "fuck you" look. "Me?" I pointed to myself. "No, you motherfucker let's go!" I laughed but then got serious. I was going to have to be fast to beat James.
"Ready?" Caius stepped in front of us looking at both of us with a bored expression on his face. We both nodded and I saw some other men whose names I couldn't recall at the moment step out of the garage.
"Three laps around the path and gardens," Caius said again in a bored tone. He was kinda killing my vibe so I just looked ahead at the path and ignored those around us.
"One," Caius began to countdown as James nodded at me.
"Two," he said and I began to feel this fire burning inside of me like I was ready for anything. I don't know what it was but it was telling me to win to prove myself.
"Three." I heard and James gave me a grin as he looked towards the path
"Go!" I heard Caius and we began to run. My shoes hit the pavement as I ran. I could feel James beside me as he ran. I heard him chuckle as he flew past me. I shook my head, oh hell no, I was going to win this thing! It didn't help that I was at my full capacity and knew I would get tired soon. All the running I had done lately didn't compare to what I had been pushing myself to do lately.
We continued to run each lap until we came upon the last one where I had finally gotten in front of James. It wasn't a simple task; he wasn't taking it easy on me and I was grateful but I was starting to doubt myself especially when my chest started to burn and the air whooshed out from my lungs.
With the finish line in sight, I put the last of my energy into my running but James was right on my ass. My goal was still simple to beat James. Why? I don't know, but I felt like I had to prove something now. As I neared the line my legs throbbed and it felt like I was about to fall. Not wanting to lose, I jumped over the line before I hit the ground and laid there exhausted.
"She wins," I heard Caius say as the group of men yelled and cheered. I tried not to smile as James helped me up from the ground and lifted me on his shoulder while the rest of them cheered around me. It was silly but I beat James at running. Glancing around I saw all the smiling faces besides one. Caius looked at me with a thoughtful glance and walked away.
***BID*****
After taking a rest and eating a small lunch, James and I walked around the property. I had only seen the yard near the house but near the woods apparently there was a huge clearing accompanied by a giant hill. James and I made our way towards the clearing with me stopping at the hill. It was a weird hill to be honest and there were tiny flags planted along the side, they were old like they had been planted in the hill for years. I leaned back and looked towards the top where two flags sat on the top.
"B, why did you stop?" James asked as he came up to me.
"What do the flags mean?" Ignoring his question, it was kinda of obvious why I stopped.
James' face looked down, like he really didn't want to answer the question. It was a hill? What could be so wrong about that?
"It's an endurance test. The flags indicate how far someone climbed up to the top," James finished saying as he looked at the hill and then me.
Climbed? This hill was very steep, how did someone climb that? Some of the flags along the side were pretty high up but not at the top did that mean whoever planted the flag fell? I bet they were hurt because there is no way someone made it that far without getting hurt.
I looked at all the different color flags and kept my gaze on the red and green on top. "So, two made it to the top then?" I said as I looked at James and he nodded.
"It's not an easy task, B," he said as he pointed to the side about halfway where a tan flag, well it was a tan flag but it had turned colors over time, brewed in the side of the hill. "That one is mine."
My eyes went huge, but James had made it pretty far, I wonder if he would decide to do it again. "Which one is Edward's?" I asked looking along the hill side at the black, blue, and brown flags.
"The green one," James said as he came to grab my hand. "Come on Laurent is waiting for us." Of course, Edward would have made it to the top. I bet Carlisle's was the red one beside it. Damn to have seen that would have been amazing.
"Wait, did you say Laurent?" I gave James a confused look. If Laurent was here that meant Edward was here. I hadn't seen him though at all today not even earlier when James and I were running. James nodded at me and told me to follow him.
We kept walking along the terrain and I started to notice that it was looking more like a training ground. There were targets placed around the area, and Laurent looked like he had a case of something?
"Yo, L!" James shouted from beside me.
"It's about time, I was wondering if the two of you were lost," Laurent said in his calm voice as he looked at me. "Mrs. Cullen."
"Laurent," I greeted him as I looked around. He had this huge case which looked it contained guns and knives.
"Mr. Cullen said you wanted to learn some self-defense training," Laurent said as he approached me and I had forgotten that I said that to Edward back in Miami. I just wanted to learn some better moves so that I could protect myself.
I nodded at him. "I know you know how to use a gun but let's see how fast you are with one." Laurent said as he handed me a small handgun. "That one doesn't have much kickback so it should be easy for you to use." I palmed the gun in my hand as I took the safety off.
"How about 15 seconds to destroy all 6 targets? Any shot counts," Laurent said as he handed me some earmuffs. I nodded at Laurent when he begun his timer. I hit each target as fast as I could. Two hit the center while I hit the shoulder, stomach, and head on the other ones. One I missed completely. It had been a while since I shot targets though, I was low-key proud of myself.
"Four dead, one injured, and one got away." Laurent said. "But, pretty impressive, let's do it again but you only have 10 secs this time."
My eyes widen at his response, but I nodded as James sat up more targets for me. I quickly reloaded my gun and got ready as soon as James was out of the way. I never said anything but wouldn't someone hear the gunshots? I mean we were pretty much in the woods but still there were people nearby, right?
"Go!" Laurent shouted, and I hit each of the targets again. This time five in the chest and one in the head.
"Impressive," James said and Laurent started handing him knives. My eyes widened at the sight and I almost dropped the gun I was holding.
"What? What are we doing with those?" I said putting the gun in its case and heading over to them.
"Knife-throwing," James said as he threw one at the target and it hit and stuck in the board in the chest.
He handed me a knife and I tried to throw it like he did but it went to the ground. "Well, I suck," I said with a giggle. James and Laurent told me to try again but Laurent seemed off and I wasn't sure why. I then grabbed another one and tried to aim at the target but it barely hit the wood. When I was about to do it again hands came down on my hips and grasped them.
I could feel a breath in my ear. "Relax!" It was Edward, who whispered quietly in my ear. "You're too stiff." His voice sounded tense but also sexy? He then grabbed the hand that I held the knife in and put his hand over mine. "Hold it like this." My heart started beating in my chest and I wondered if he could hear it. He was too close, way too close. I didn't know whether to be scared or aroused. He moved my hand to the blade instead of the handle and helped me flick it where it landed on the target.
I let out a breath, proud of myself that I finally got one even if Edward had helped. It didn't help that my nipples were now hard at being that close to Edward. Laurent and James sang their praises as I hit it but Edward remained quiet. He grasped my hand and told them we were leaving. Neither one saying anything but James had this smile and nodded. I stayed quiet as he pulled me along the path by my arm.
As we came closer to a building I hadn't seen before I started to protest. "Edward," I said, trying to get him to let go of my arm. He didn't budge as he opened the door and pulled me in. I barely looked at the room that looked like some gym before Edward threw me against the bench and attacked my mouth.
He kissed me with such fervor that it made it hard to breathe. When he pulled away, he searched my eyes. I looked at him with confusion. He looked at me with a hard expression, one that seemed like he was trying to figure me out. I don't know if I liked it, but I also felt heated under his gaze.
"Do you like it?" he asked as his hand touched my face and moved down my body. I gasped as he grazed my breast through my tanktop. He seemed off, I don't know the words for it but he didn't seem like Edward right now.
"Like what?" I questioned him as his hand disappeared inside my pants. I let out a yelp as he touched my most sensitive part but continued to stare at him as his gaze bore into mine.
"Touching you?" he said in a gruff voice as his fingers fucked me. He then tore off my pants as I moaned as he laid me down on the bench. Ripping my underwear off, he continued to fuck me before it was replaced by his cock. I had been so occupied that I didn't even see him take off his pants.
He entered me swiftly and I heard him moan which made my nipples hard again. It had been a while since we had been like this. He fucked me as he pinched my nipples. "Oh!" I screamed as he picked up the pace. "Edward," I said as he looked at me with a sexual need.
"Bella," he moaned out my name as he fucked me while sucking on my neck. I went to grab his sides but was caught off guard as I came with Edward cumming right behind me. He roared as he came and I went red at the primal animal need he had.
There was nothing but our heavy breaths in the large room as he rested his head against mine still inside me. He kissed me on the lips, as he gazed into my eyes. "Let's go again," he said as his eyes bore into mine. I gave him a glance, as I wasn't ready to yet go again. It had been a while since we had done this. Two weeks to be exact.
I didn't move as Edward started moving again. I wasn't ready so I began to push on him. He didn't budge and looked at me with such a possessive look, one that made my spine chill.
It scared me a bit, so much that I wasn't really feeling like having sex anymore. "Edward," This time I said it, he stopped. He looked at me with a different expression. Regret? Sadness? I wasn't sure, all I know is that my husband was acting very different.
He pulled out of me and helped me up. I stood there naked and tried to look around for something to cover my body. "Here," Edward said as he handed me a towel. I quickly wrapped it around my waist tying a knot in it before adjusting my boobs back into my bra through my tanktop.
Edward fixed himself pushing himself back into his pants, but his gaze still looked odd. We stared at each other before he came towards me. "I'm sorry," he apologized as his gaze was now full of sadness.
"What's wrong with you?" I said as he touched my face with his hand.
He looked at me as if he was searching for the right word to say before his gaze hardened "Nothing," he answered as he turned to leave.
"Don't say that!" I went after him but he stopped me from leaving the gym. He looked down at me his gaze lingering on my legs.
"Stay here, I'll bring you some pants back," he said and left the building quickly. I tried not to cry, but it was fruitless, the tears pooled at my eyes. I was so confused. Why was he acting so cold towards me? Was it because someone was after us he had to detach himself?
The trip to Miami seemed so long ago it felt like a faded memory. I wanted to go back so bad, I missed us.
****BID******
EDWARD POV
My eyes glanced over the files, reading each one trying to find something I may have missed. I had been holed up in the security room above my parents' garage. It was beside the guard shack where that fucker Caius and some of my other men were staying.
"Ed," Emmett said from beside me, and I ignored him. I knew what he was going to start talking about, and I wasn't in the mood to talk about it. I hadn't seen my father since the day we came back from Miami and that was over two weeks ago.
A wonderful relaxing trip that was cut short because I thought my father was about to kick the bucket. Nope that fucker was still breathing after the so-called week he had left. I wasn't even surprised. He was probably prolonging his death just to make my life worse in his final days.
Since I've had the family in lockdown, I have been trying to weed out the rat. I know there was a rat and I hoped that it was only one. I couldn't be too careful so I had been closely monitoring everyone. I even made Jasper, something I wasn't even sure about, along with Seth. It's not that I didn't trust them but I needed assurances.
I had debated making Jasper for awhile now. He may be married to my sister, but he was actually one of my guys and like I said I needed to know who to trust. He may have been hesitant but he ended up agreeing to being a part of the Cullen Family. I didn't really want to make him since he was my tech guy but it needed to be done. He knew too much and was way too close.
Seth on the other hand, with the distrust I had in him at one point, was made at the same time as Jasper. He had proved himself time and time again that he was loyal. He also guarded the most important person in my life. However, I knew neither Seth nor Jasper were rats.
Emmett and James definitely weren't. I would know if those two were going behind my back. Laurent, who had been my bodyguard for years, was with me pretty much all the time. Eric, Tyler, and Mal had been closely monitored. I knew it wasn't them. Louie was a "behind the scenes" guy. I didn't put much stock in him turning. He was just my "bomb guy" who helped on occasions.
That left me with Caius, Bernard, Benjamin, Sam, and Peter. I wanted it to be Caius, oh how I wanted it to be him. He was always the one my father pitted me against, our past tried to bubble to the surface. I had to push it down. There was no need to bring up the past even if it was the main reason why I couldn't ever truly forgive my father.
Sam, Rosalie's guard was also suspicious. The thing was I had no reason to suspect him except the fact he had been laying low since he had been injured the day of the spa shit. He could have made friends and acquaintances during that time, but Emmett was against that. He swore up and down that it wasn't him. I had James looking into him when he wasn't guarding Rosalie.
Peter, Alice's guard. I had no real reason to not keep an eye on him but I personally didn't know what he had been up to until he became Alice's guard. Jasper vouched for him but if it was him then it wouldn't be the first time one of Alice's guards had turned out to be a rat.
That brought me to Bernard and Benjamin, the father and son bodyguards. Growing up with Bernard meant he was always a presence in my life. I didn't think it was him. However, I had no proof it wasn't. Other than hanging around my dad all day, Bernard rarely stepped off the property. He and my mother's guard Esteban, who was older than dirt, were always shooting the shit.
Benjamin, however, I saw more of. He was Emmett's guard and was usually around. He had been a former marine so I had to say he had some form of loyalty but couldn't hack everyday life. That's why Bernard recommended him to us to help him. He liked to take action and he was pretty new to the family. He wasn't even a made man yet.
My mind hurt. It would be easier to just kill all of them but then I would have a huge ass problem on my hands.
"Ed," Emmett said again and I turned towards him, giving him a look. "Dude, come to the main house. Please, join the family," Emmett begged me. He had been for days now. I didn't go to the big house until Bella was asleep. It had been two days since we had sex in the gym and I had been avoiding her.
Getting my updates from James and Seth on what she did for the day, I knew she was safe. She had texted me a couple of times and I had replied but that was it. I felt remorse for my actions but after seeing all the men cheer for her, getting close to all of the men made me feel a certain way. It was like I had to claim her. It was like I was losing her.
I didn't mean to take it so far, I did stop. However, that didn't mean things weren't weird afterwards. I felt like I was losing control of everything in my life. My control was slipping. The very thing I had been trained not to lose. I hit the glass table and it shattered. "Fuck!" I yelled.
"You idiot! Why would you do that?" Emmett came over to me and grabbed my arm. I decked that motherfucker into the wall on instinct. He gave me a shocked look before it turned into a knowing one. "Oh, is that what this is?" Emmett said with a smile.
I smiled back feeling a little bit better letting that aggression out. "Wanna?" I asked him as he jerked his head outside. I followed him out of the room and downstairs to outside the garage. Caius, James, and Benjamin stood outside as both Em and I removed our shirts.
"Oh, shit," James said as he came towards us, stepping between us. "I don't know what the fuck happened but let's not fight guys," he pleaded looking at both of us.
"It's a spar not a real fight," I explained as Em grinned. James moved and grinned and looked around the room at the men.
"Alright! Place your bets! The boss man or the underboss! Taking all bets!" James yelled like he was an auctioneer or some shit. Emmett laughed at his antics. Benjamin put a fifty down on Em and Caius shrugged his shoulders as he sat down. He was sitting in his chair smoking a cigar. I guess he was just going to watch.
Seth and Sam came down from the house. They usually guarded the outside but came over when they heard the commotion. "Come on, we got fifty down on the big man, any more bets? Come one, come all," James begged as he moved around.
"I'll place a hundred on the boss," Seth wagered as he gave James $100.00. I jumped up and down after I had removed my shoes as well. Both Em and I clad only in jeans were ready to go as we grinned at each other.
"Alright, alright, any more takers?" James said and Sam gave him a fifty as well. "Who are you betting on good sir?"
"Emmett. Sorry boss." He glanced at me as he turned towards the house as Rosalie came running out.
"What the fuck?" Emmett said as he was distracted by Rosalie coming outside. I took the first blow and knocked Emmett down. He staggered and fell down on the ground.
"What the hell, Edward?" Rosalie yelled as Sam backed her up and told her to go back to the house.
"She's fine, let her stay," I answered as Sam nodded but kept her back away from us.
"That was a cheap move and you know it," Emmett whined as he spit out blood and then came after me. I quickly dodged his attacks and landed a punch in his stomach. He groaned and I heard Sam tell Rosalie we were just fucking around.
"Okay, big bro, let's get real." Emmett said at me as I told him to come on. He lunged again, and side hopped out of the way as that huge ass came back over to me. Emmett always relied on his body to fight while I used my mind to guess his moves before he made them.
"What the hell!" I heard that voice and then Seth telling her to calm down. It caught me off guard and I looked at her while she looked at me with a scared expression. Her coming out also made me lose focus and Emmett hit me and I fell on the ground.
I quickly jumped up and saw red. Emmett knew I meant business now as he blocked all of my hits. "Come on, lil bro!"I grinned at him as he grinned back as we ran towards each other.
****BID*****
"Shit!" I howled as I felt the hydrogen peroxide touch the wound on my shoulder. The smaller hand holding the towel on it, giving me an angry glare. Emmett and his fucking meaty hands. He also had given me a black eye and some major bruises on my ribs and chest. It was worth it though I didn't feel so pent up anymore.
"Fuck!" I yelled again as Bella doused me in some antiseptic. "Fuck! Did you use the whole bottle?" She gave me a glare and rolled her eyes. If it didn't hurt so much, I would be amused by her antics right now. After she told us to stop fighting and Rosalie carried Em out by his ear, we stopped our "play fight" and headed into the house.
"Don't be such a baby. Isn't this what you wanted?" Bella said as she wrapped my wound in some gauze. "Why you wanted to pick a fight with that big oaf is beyond me," she scolded as she stepped back and crossed her arms.
"I won, didn't I?" I looked at her as she rolled her eyes. I didn't deserve her at all. The way I had been towards her lately. She didn't deserve it at all. "I'm sorry," I whispered in silence.
She looked at me, in the small space of my childhood bathroom. "You've said that."
I nodded, because I have. I've said it too many times. The thing was I never said it to anyone before but her. "I know," I apologized with a sigh as I walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom to change.
She silently followed and stayed quiet. I think I would rather have her screaming her head off. I didn't like her being silent at all. "Bella, my actions the other day were wrong. I know you said stop and I did but that should have never taken place," I confessed, looking at her as she nodded.
"Why? Why did it?" she asked, tears brimming in her eyes. "It just doesn't make sense, the first time was fine, but it was like when you wanted to keep going it felt like you weren't even there," she sniffed. "It fucking scared me, Edward."
"I'm sorry," I said again not knowing what to say. I know why I felt that way. Bella being around all the men, then along with James and Laurent it did something to me. Was it jealousy? Possessiveness? I should be happy that my men were getting along with her. I should be happy that she was finding her place within my family. I may have not been around but I knew she had been helping my mother. I should be thankful, so why was it that I had such a hard time letting go?
"I think you feel like you're losing control," she said and my eyes flashed to her. "I know you aren't but I'm sure there have been too many actions that have altered your control all at once. I mean I came into your life, turned it upside down, then this whole rat thing, and no matter how much you want to keep it a secret you need to talk about your past, Edward."
My eyes blinked at her. For a moment I forgot my wife went to school for this type of thing. "You're right, I do and I will soon." She was probably right. It would probably help with a lot of my issues but not all of them. My main one was losing her, and it didn't matter how much I tried to protect her, she seemed to keep slipping from my grasp.
"Please know this though. You coming into my life was the best thing that could have happened to me," I said with all honesty as the tears fell down from her eyes. "I love you, Bella." I wanted to reach out to her but for some reason I was stuck in my spot. "I just don't know how to do this."
She gave me a look and I could see the steam coming out of her ears. "Because you don't lean on me. You don't lean on anyone! You want to be in control all the time. I wish you would let go just a bit and maybe things wouldn't be so bad for you. Just maybe you would be really happy, but no, you want to do everything yourself and it's impossible!" she shouted and I quickly went to her.
Our noses touched as my eyes bore into hers. "You don't know," I whispered but she shook her head.
"I do!" she shouted back "I love you, but you can't keep pushing people away when you're dealing with something. You need them! You keep doing that and YOU WILL END UP ALONE!" Bella roared and my eyes widened at her statement and my heart dropped.
"What?" I said as I stared at her. "Alone?" I moved back from her but I never took my eyes off of her. "Are you saying you'll leave me?" I said.
"I-…I."
I didn't even let her finish that sentence as I went back to pulling her into my arms. No, I would not lose her, she would not leave me. My anxiety crept its way up my spine and my heart hammered in my chest.
"Listen," I let out in a strangled voice that didn't even sound like my own. "You are my wife." I made her look at me as her head dropped. "You are mine," I said as I let go. She was crying and I moved away from her, another action I would regret in the future.
The silence filled the room then and I stared at my wife. "Bella," I said as my phone went off. I ignored it, but once it stopped ringing it started up again. Bella quickly wiped her tears.
"You better answer that," she said in a small voice. I stared at her. Part of me wanted to get as far away from her as possible. I couldn't hurt her if I wasn't near her and hurting her is all that I seemed to do.
I fished my phone out of my pocket. "Cullen," I yelled, never taking my eyes off Bella.
"Boss!" It was James and he didn't sound good.
"What happened?" I asked as I turned towards the wall.
"Mal was hit! Benjamin and I are on our way to him now! I've called the doc." I could hear horns over the line and James must have been driving like a crazy fucker. Why was Benjamin with him? If he was a rat, James being alone with him wasn't a good idea.
"Wait, Mal?" I asked and I felt my blood run cold. Why would someone hit Mal?
"Yeah, I called Seth too, and told him to stay at Stacey's place until you gave the order but…," James trailed off.
"She's dead, isn't she?" I said as I pulled my hair.
"Yeah!" Horns blew. "Mal called said someone came in, he didn't even hear them and then they shot him. That's all I was able to get out of him before he passed out. I called Seth and told him to get over there while Ben and I left the estate. Seth calls me and says Mal was still breathing but hit and the girl is dead."
"What the fuck!" I yelled out and turned towards Bella who looked scared at my words. Why would someone kill a former employee of mine and shoot Mal? Why not make sure Mal was dead?
"Em and I will be there soon, keep it contained and call Jasper," I told him as I put my pants back on.
"Boss, no offense, why wouldn't it be a good idea for you to just go get Jasper?" James questioned and I told him to call before I hung up. I wasn't going to get him because I had no patience for my sister at the moment.
After getting dressed, I turned towards my wife who had made her way to the bed. I looked at her, not really wanting to leave things the way they were but I had no choice. "This conversation isn't over," I said as I left the bedroom hearing a sob as I closed the door.
Thanks for reading!