Thanks to gaara king of the sand for the help!
Thanks to everyone for reading!
Months had passed and their travels continued. After so much time spent searching for a place to settle down they were feeling desperate to find anywhere to call home. Life on the road was anything but easy. It was completely exhausting, and that was an understatement. Not to mention it was dangerous. They lost count of how many close calls they had. But even one close call was one too many for their liking. Especially when each dangerous encounter put the lives of two children in jeopardy.
The struggles they faced didn't seem to change be it on land or on water. They had the same worries and they remained consistent. Did they have enough food and water, and where would they find it. It was a constant concern, especially since Clementine had to consume more in ordered to provide milk for her daughter. Though the girl didn't like it, she knew the extra food was necessary.
Food wasn't their only concern though. They constantly wondered where they would rest, what would their shelter situation be, would they find a safe place to lay their heads at night? What did the weather look like? Was it pouring rain or was it sunny. The last thing they wanted was for any of them to get sick, Especially not the baby. And one of their biggest concerns was how to avoid the dead or worse, people… People with ill intentions were the worst of all. They had run into far too many and wanted to prevent any future encounters.
With Diana now only a month short of becoming a year old, Clementine just hoped they would find a safe place soon.
Carley was concerned to say the least. Clementine was clearly overexerting herself. She barely slept and only ate enough to provide for her daughter. She had taken on a role of a mother figure to Danielle, alongside of raising her own biological child. The girl was pushing herself too far.
"You okay?" Carley asked.
Clementine was trudging along the path, Diana resting in her arms.
Carley noticed how tired the young girl seemed but upon verbalizing it Clementine simply refused a break, wanting to continue forward.
"I'm good…" Clementine claimed, much like she usually did.
"How about I take Diana for you?" Carley suggested.
"I got her…" Clementine said.
That had become a common call and response between the two. Still, Carley was worried. She could tell Clementine was exhausted. She had gotten yet another sleepless night and it was clear as day that her energy level wasn't what it usually was. She was struggling, no matter how much she tried to mask it. She wasn't good, regardless of how much she claimed she was.
Despite knowing this, Carley also knew there wasn't much she could do. Clementine was stubborn, had always been that way and probably always would be.
"Well... let me know if you need a break." Carley told her.
Clementine simply nodded.
It wasn't until Danielle had complained about her feet starting to ache that Clementine agreed to stop. The group settled down, Diana in Clementine's lap as the young mother hummed to the child.
The baby was curiously looking around, squirming about and wanting to crawl every so often. Clementine would allow the child to crawl around. Although Diana was full of wonder, she refused to wander too far away from her mother. Not only did she not want to be far from Clementine, but she cried every time the teen left her sight. Clementine was sure her daughter was experiencing separation anxiety, and she couldn't blame her. The baby was only happy if Clementine was within an arm's reach. If she left the child's sight for even a few moments the baby would cry. Clementine knew that it was proof that her daughter and her shared a strong bond, but she also knew it could be dangerous to have her cry and scream her little head off.
She tried to minimize separation as much as possible, which was hard to do. Seeing her baby cry made her feel distressed at times. She knew it was a normal part of a child's development, but Diana's seemed so severe... and in the environment the child was growing up it, Clementine wasn't surprised.
"Food's ready." Carley's voice pulled Clementine out of her thoughts and she looked to the woman who had prepared a pot of what seemed to be stew.
"I'm not hungry." Clementine muttered.
"Clem, you know you have to eat..." Carley said. "It's important for you and Diana..."
Clementine sighed, for Diana's sake she would eat.
"So what's going on?" Carley suddenly asked.
"I don't know what you're talking about..." Clementine claimed.
"You've been pushing yourself lately... You're barely sleeping... This isn't healthy for you, Clem."
"I'm fine, Carley. I sleep when I can. I'm a mom now. My daughter comes first." Clementine replied.
"I understand that but... you don't have to do everything on your own. I'm here for you whenever you need a break." Carley said.
"I know..." But Clementine knew it wasn't that simple.
Nothing could ever be that simple. Even that evening when Clementine had left Diana under Carley's watch while she took a simple bathroom break, the baby had begun wailing. And her cries forced Clementine to hurry her business and rush back to her daughter's aid.
Diana cries had drawn attention from a few nearby walkers and the group was forced to gather their belongings and move their makeshift camp to another, safer area.
To make matters worse when they had resettled for the night baby Diana was wide awake. They still had many hours of darkness left, hours that could be used to get some much needed rest but Clementine knew that with her daughter refusing to sleep that wouldn't be happening. The girl tried anything she could think of, rocking, humming, nursing, but Diana wasn't having it. As Clementine held her young daughter she knew it was going to be yet another long night.
Morning had come and the group continued onward. Clementine once again trudging along. Carley worried for the girl's health. Lack of sleep wasn't good for anyone.
The day continued much like the previous ones. They pushed forward until Danielle asked to take a break. Clementine would try to tend to Diana, who was being rather fussy.
And eventually they would stop for the evening, Carley figuring the rest would do them all good.
But it didn't help much, as Clementine wasn't resting. Carley didn't know what to do. She just did her best to help the teen, despite the girl staying stubborn. The last thing she needed was for the girl to pass out during their travels.
She would prepare meals and make sure Clementine ate. She would watch Diana during restroom breaks or if the teen desperately needed a nap.
But part of her remained concerned. Clementine was over-exerting herself and the little help Carley could offer just wasn't enough...
Diana was going through a phase, and it wasn't a fun one.
There were several times before that the baby's crying had put them in danger or at risk.
At eleven months old it seemed Diana was going through sleep regression. She would fight naps during the day, and sometimes wouldn't nap at all. And sleeping through the night seemed to never happen anymore. Instead she would simply start crying, Clementine was unsure how to sooth her daughter.
If that wasn't enough, things only took another turn as her baby's teeth started to break through. Now Diana had even more reasons to be fussy.
To say the least, they were all exhausted, especially Clementine.
When Clementine had finally been able to get her daughter to nurse and settle down for a nap the teen jumped at the opportunity to rest as well. Carley offered to watch the baby if she woke up and cried and Clementine didn't protest against the idea.
The teen had fallen asleep the second she laid down and Carley was glad that she could finally get some rest.
However, not much time had passed before baby Diana woke up and the crying started. Carley scooped the baby into her arms and began to rock and shush her but Diana remained fussy.
"Should...Should we wake Clem?" Danielle asked.
"No. She needs her rest. Let her sleep." Carley said.
But as the crying continued, Clementine stirred from the noise and the teen wasn't the only one to hear the noise.
Upon hearing rustling beyond the trees and snarls from a distance Carley couldn't help but swear. "Shit. We gotta go."
So much for letting Clementine sleep.
"Clem, Clementine! Get up!" Carley called to the teen.
The girl jerked awake. "Wh-What?"
"Come on. We gotta move!" Carley said.
"What's going on?" Clementine asked, looking concerned and confused.
"Walkers." Was Carley's simple reply.
"Fuck..." Clementine scrambled to her feet and the group proceeded to gather their things. With the walkers getting closers they began running. Carley kept Diana in her arms as the baby continued to cry.
Clementine wanted to take her child and comfort her, but there wasn't time for that. They needed to get to safety.
As more and more walkers seemed to show up, Clementine and Carley struggled to kill the creatures. They soon found themselves being nearly surrounded by the large pack of walkers.
They found themselves getting pushed further and further apart by the undead. Panic hit them as they tried to keep moving forward.
Only one idea could come to mind. She had to distract them, Clementine decided as she began to lag behind.
"Clementine!" Carley called. "Hurry!"
"I'm fine!" Clementine said, only for the teen to suddenly find herself getting grabbed by one of the walkers. The girl barely could react before the walker sank its teeth into her arms. She yelled in pain before jerking back and using her ice pick to kill the creature.
"Clem!" Both Carley and Danielle gasped.
"Run!" Clementine urged.
"We can't leave you!" Danielle called.
"Just go! I'll catch up!" Clementine claimed.
With some slight hesitation Carley reluctantly obliged, forcing Danielle to keep moving forward despite the child's reluctance and Diana's cries.
"Keep my baby safe!" Clementine called to Carley, though as she had lost sight of the woman, she didn't know if Carley had heard her.
The girl huffed, and continued using her ice pick to kill walkers, not wanting them to go after Carley and the children. After killing several of the creatures and finding herself getting overwhelmed by the pack, she was forced to find and opening and continued running forward. Her heart pounding with fear as she prayed that Carley, Danielle, and Diana would be okay.
The girl continued to move forward, trying to avoid the undead. Rushing up a hill she noticed a fence and forced her exhausted body over it. She made her way through a parking lot full of scattered shopping carts.
The girl carries on trying to ignore the fatigue that threatens to overtake her body. She makes her way to the building which seems to be an old mall. The front entrance is boarded up as are some of the windows. She made her way to the entrance and attempted to use her ice pick to pry the door open. The glass doors moved, but no more than a few inches. The girl pondered on what to do. Looking around the parking lot, she made her way over to one of the carts. The cart was missing a wheel and the other three wheels were rusted but it still moved.
Taking a deep breath, the girl began to speed the cart forward towards the doorway, allowing it to slam through.
This seemed to do the trick, as the door opened, the wooden board now broken.
Clementine glanced over her shoulder, making sure the walker herd was no longer on her trail. She could hear them banging against the fence, but they had yet to find a way into the parking lot.
The girl sighed in relief and slowly made her way into the mall. She hissed in pain as she felt her arm throb a bit. She slowly pulled up her sleeve to look at the bite and swore to herself. She was so sick of getting bitten.
Shaking the thought away, the girl started to proceed onward. She wondered if she was alone inside the mall, but having seen the boarded door and windows, she had a good feeling that she was not. She needed to be careful.
Keeping her weapon close, she peered into shopping strip after shopping strip, trying to make sure the mall was safe. She didn't need anything or anyone sneaking up on her. She needed to find a safe place. She took a step forward, managing to walk a few paces. But she felt dizzy. Oh so dizzy. Her vision blurred.
Was it the bite? It couldn't be? Could it? She had been bit before and only felt this way once.
Another wave of dizziness hit her and she lurched forward, bracing herself again the wall to keep stead.
After a few deep breaths, her head cleared a bit and she tried to continue walking. She took a few more steps, her breathing becoming more labored, her heart racing in her chest. Fatigue hit her, completely draining her of all energy. Her limbs were feeling heavy as she sluggishly tried to force herself to take another step only for her world to suddenly tilt. And next thing she knew she had crashed to the cold floor. Laying on the ground, taking shaky breaths she couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with her. Could this be the bite?
No… She hadn't slept in days, not properly. The girl realized with dismay that she was exhausted. She tried to force herself to stand but her body refused to cooperate with her. This wasn't the first time a bout of fatigue had hit her, but most dates she would push through it. Perhaps she had pushed herself too hard this time…
As she lay on the icy cold ground, she could faintly make out sounds around her. Footsteps approaching, and soon voices, her vision was blurred but she swore she caught sight of concerned faces.
"H-Hey… Hey…. Kid… Are…okay?" The voice sounded as if she was under water, Clementine couldn't tell if it was actually there or not.
"She's bit!" Another voice, sounding more urgent, spoke.
"W-What?" More concerned voices were heard, but Clementine couldn't make out what was being said.
She wanted to protest, to tell them she wouldn't turn. To tell them that she was immune, but she didn't have a chance to respond before everything suddenly went dark.
Carley slowed her pace and took a moment to catch her breath as she figured they were safe. Little Diana had stopped her crying, probably having exhausted herself.
Danielle slowly as well and slowly asked, "A-Are we safe?"
"I… I think so." Carley said. "You're okay, right?"
Danielle gave a nod.
"Okay… Come on. Stay close to me." Carley said.
"Do… Do you think Clementine is okay?" Danielle asked.
"She's tough, she'll be alright…" Carley said.
"I really hope so…" Danielle sighed.
"Come on, let's hurry up and try to find her." Carley said.
"Yeah… Okay…" Danielle nodded.
Carley made she Danielle kept close to her, as she continued to carry baby Diana who seemed to be drifting off to sleep. She hoped they would find Clementine soon. And she really hoped that the teen was okay.
When Clementine awoke she found herself laying against an unfamiliar cot. The girl was groggy and dizzy. She could make out the shape of her body under a blanket that lay over her. She couldn't move properly. Everything hurt. She could smell disinfectant, along with blood, a lot of blood.
She could see some kind of tube attached to her, she was beyond dizzy as she tried to sit up. She noticed there was some kind of I.V. attached to her.
Her right arm ached, so very bad. Had that bite really caused her this much pain. Squirming from under the blanket, she was met with the shock of her life. She wanted to scream for help but could barely get enough air into her lungs. And when she could breathe, she was drawing quick breaths to the point of hyperventilating.
Her arm was… gone. This couldn't be real. She had to still be dreaming.
"No…. No, no no no!" She cried out.
She was pulled from her frantic state as she could hear faint noises around her from another area of the building. Light voices conversing with one another.
She fought down the panic that threatened to overwhelm her. Using all her strength to pulled herself up. She had to get out of here. Who knows what those people wanted, for all she knew they could be cannibals like the sick people she had run into in the past.
She tried to get up, from the bed, but her shaking legs struggled to hold her. Real panic began to set in. She used her left arm to steady herself with the frame structure that supported the cot.
She managed to stumble forward and began searching for an exit. She needed to get out of there. She had to get back to Carley, Danielle, and her daughter.
As the girl continued try to make it to the exit, she could hear footsteps approaching, followed by some concerned voice.
"Oh, hon… You shouldn't be out of bed… You need your rest." A woman's voice, one that sounded motherly in a way, spoke.
A few people rushed to her side. Attempting to stabilize her wobbling form. Clementine however, not sure of their intentions, was having none of it. She flinched back from the strangers. "Stay back!" She ordered to the approaching people.
"Woah, woah, woah. Settle down, kid. We want to help." One of the people spoke.
"Bullshit! Want to help my ass!" Clementine spat.
"We really do want to help." Another person said.
"Does this look like help to you? You cut my damn arm off! What kind of people do that?" Clementine inquired.
"We only did that to save your life! You were bit, kid!" A third person said.
The girl pause memories rushing back to her. "You… did this to save my life…?
"Yes, we're surrounded by so much death already. We didn't want to see another person die. Especially not if we could prevent it." The first woman spoke. "We've done this before and saved people's lives. So we...we know it works and we felt like it was the only way…"
"…I'm immune…" Clementine muttered, fighting back tears.
Shock filled all of their faces.
"W-What?" One of the people asked, eyes wide.
"To the bite. I wouldn't have turned… I'm immune." Clementine said.
"H-How do you know?" Someone else asked.
"I've been bit before… And nothing happened." Clementine replied.
"Oh my god..."
"Holy shit."
"We- We had no idea! I- I swear! We were just trying to help..."
Clementine could tell they were genuine as she saw the clear remorse on their faces. "Can't you... I don't know...sow it back on?" The girl desperately asked, tears threatening to spill as her voice cracked a bit midsentence.
"Unfortunately we can't... I... After completing the surgery, we threw the limb out to the dead... There's no way I would be able to reattach the arm." One of the men spoke.
Clementine felt her heart drop, feeling even more devastated. She fought back tears as she took a shaky breath.
"I am so, so sorry. I swear... If we had known, we never would have done that." The same man, who she assumed was the medic spoke.
Clementine couldn't bring herself to respond to the group's apologies... She was too sad by what had happened. But as upset as she was she couldn't truly blame them or be angry with them, they had been trying to help her...and they didn't know about her immunity.
"How about... we get you back to bed... You... You need to rest..." The woman suggested.
"...I need to find my friend... and my daughter..." Clementine said. The mention of her baby made emotions swell more. How was she supposed to be a good mother now? Things were hard enough as it was now she had to deal with losing an arm. She had to recover from that...
"Daughter?" The woman asked.
Clementine nodded. "She's... almost a year old."
"Wow... I... Maybe we can help with that...To make up for our mistake..." Someone suggested.
"...Okay..." Clementine said.
"Come on, let's get you back to bed to rest... You can tell us about your friend there." The woman said.
Clementine gave a tiny nod, allowing them to lead her back to the room she had woken up in.
"Is Clem gonna be okay?" Danielle asked as they continued walking. They had been searching for the teen for what felt like such a long time.
"Yeah... yeah. She'll be fine." Carley said.
"I just… get so worried…" Danielle said. "…I really hope we can find a home soon."
"A home?"
"Yeah… I'm tired of being out here… Always being in danger…. And worrying…" Danielle said.
"I promise nothing bad is ever going to happen to you, Dani…" Carley replied.
"Something bad always happens! We always run into bad people… or… or the walkers… And Clem's been separated from us before… What if… What if we don't find her this time." Danielle frowned.
"We will find her… Don't even think like that." Carley said.
"I can't help it… I just… I'm tired of being scared all the time. I want to be brave, but… I'm not…" Danielle said.
"You're one of the bravest kids I know, Dani."
"I…don't feel like it…" Danielle sighed.
"Well you should. Clem and I are both proud of you. I know things have been tough… And I know we keep telling things will get better… but you can't lose hope. Things really will get better." Carley said.
"When?" Danielle asked.
"I don't know when. But I know things will get better. I promise you." Carley responded.
"…Okay…"
"Come on, kiddo. Let's find Clem."
Danielle nodded as Carley urged her to keep moving forward.
After being led back to bed, the group had introduced themselves and Clementine had done the same. She was now in the process of getting to know them "How long have you guys been here?"
"Quite a while actually. We've been using this mall as a safe-house for the few families who use to live in the area..." The medic answered.
"That's pretty amazing. For a place to last this long." Clementine said.
"Yeah. We're quite amazed ourselves. What about you? How long have you been out there?" The medic asked.
"I've been all over the place. We travelled on water and on land. My friend…. Her name's Carley… We got split up. She's traveling with a kid… and a baby…" Clementine explained.
"And the baby… is yours?" The medic questioned.
"Yeah… My daughter…" Clementine answered.
"Quite surprising…"
"Stuff happens." Clementine shrugged. She truly got that a lot.
"Fair enough…"
"I need to find them… We got separated by walkers… And they're out there somewhere…" Clementine said.
"Are you sure…?" The medic asked.
"I'm certain… They have to be…" Clementine said. "I have to find them."
"Right now…. I think it's best if you try to rest… Your body is in no condition to move around much. They only thing you'll succeed in doing is overworking yourself and probably end up passing out." The medic said.
"But—" As much she wanted to protest, she knew he was right. Her body was completely exhausted.
"We'll have some people look around the area for them… Consider it our way of… apologizing for our mistake…" The medic said.
"…Okay… Thank you…." Clementine sighed in relief.
After giving a description of the of Carley, Danielle, and baby Diana. Clementine laid on the cot and tried to rest. The medic offered her some medicine and the girl hesitated to take it.
"What is that?" Clementine asked.
"It's just a pain medication. It should help." He replied.
She was in a great deal of pain. And slowly, the girl accepted the offer. Taking the two pills with a sip of water.
"We'll find your people. Don't you worry." He promised her.
"Thank you…." Clementine muttered, allowing her eyes to fall shut. She just hoped that Carley, Danielle, and Diana were okay…
Hours had gone by. Diana had once again woken up. And as the child started to get fussy, Carley assumed the baby was hungry.
"We gotta stop." Carley said.
"But what about Clem?" Danielle frowned.
"We're gonna find her but Diana's hungry… I have to feed her or she's gonna draw more walkers." Carley said.
"…Okay…." Danielle nodded.
Carley tried to gently set Diana down, but the baby whimpered a bit, clinging to her. "Alright, alright. I won't put you down." She said, keeping the child in her grip as the baby's whines cease. "Dani, check my bag and see what kind of soup we have." She slung the bag off her back and lowered it to the ground.
Danielle nodded and proceeded to look through the bag. She checked the different cans eventually finding tomato soup. "Will this work?" She showed Carley the can.
"It's gonna have to." Carley accepted the can. "Here, hold Diana for a minute."
Danielle obliged, taking the baby into her arms.
Carley then proceeded to reaching into her pocket, grabbing a pocket knife. She then used the knife to open up the can.
Carley then proceeded to start a fire to heat the soup while Danielle played with baby Diana nearby. When the food was ready she took a moment to let it cool before taking Diana and beginning to feed her.
"Dani, you should eat too. You gotta keep your strength up." Carley said.
"What about you?" Danielle asked.
"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." Carley said.
"I worry about you and Clem."
"You don't have to… It's our job to worry about you, kiddo…" Carley replied.
"Thanks…" Danielle said. "I still think you should eat though."
"Alright, alright. Since you insist." Carley said, slightly amused by the child's pushiness.
As the trio began to eat, things were quiet. Quiet enough that Carley caught a rustling noise, as if someone was approaching them. Her guard was immediately up as she whispered to Danielle. "Hold the baby."
Danielle furrowed her brows in confusion. "Wha-?"
"Shh…" Carley hushed, handing Diana to Danielle before drawing her gun. She aimed it towards the trees as she waited for whoever or whatever was there to reveal themselves.
A moment later a couple of people came into view. Upon seeing Carley's gun, they quickly lifted their hands in a nonthreatening gesture.
"Wait, we don't want any trouble." One of them spoke.
"Well you got it, unless you turn around now…" Carley said.
"We're just… look for a couple people." A second person spoke.
"I don't give a crap what you're doing. Turn around and walk away." Carley ordered.
The strangers exchanged looks, seemingly concerned, but hesitant to oblige.
Diana began crying suddenly, drawing their attention.
"You have kids. A baby…" The first person said.
Carley glared at them and said, "I won't say it again. Go."
"We just—"
"I'm gonna count to three." Carley huffed. "One…. Two…"
"Is- Is your name Carley?"
Carley paused, furrowing her brows. "Who are you…? How would you know that…?"
"We… We found your girl… Well she stumbled upon us. Clementine." The first man said.
"Is she okay?" Carley quickly inquired.
"For the most part…" The same man answered.
"What do you mean for the most part?" Carley asked.
"She… She's back with the rest of our group. We can take you do her…. Just… please, lower the gun." The second man said.
"…You better not have hurt her." Carley said as she slowly lowered the weapon. She began to gather their stuff, motioning for Danielle to stick close to her as she took Diana into her arms. "Take us to her."
The group nodded and motioned for them to follow. With some hesitation they did so.
When Clementine had woken she immediately asked about Carley, Danielle, and her daughter. However, upon being told that they were still searching for them, the girl grew more worried.
She tried to force herself out of bed, only to be stopped and once again told she should rest.
"I can't rest. I can't just lay here when my friends are out there! My daughter is out there!" Clementine exclaimed.
"I understand you're concerned but—"
"But nothing! I have to go! I have to find them! I—"
"Clementine!" A familiar voice made her perk up.
"Carley!" Clementine gasped.
Carley's eyes widened in horror upon seeing the teen was missing an arm. "Oh my God, what happened to you? What happened to your arm?!"
"We…We cut it off…" The medic answered looking regretful.
"You what?!" Carley readied to draw her gun, thinking these people had sick reasoning's for cutting Clementine's arm off.
"I was bit Carley…. They did it to try to save me… They didn't know…" Clementine said.
Carley frowned and slowly lowered the weapon. "Fuck… I'm so sorry, Clem… How… How are you feeling?"
"Like I lost an arm…" Clementine muttered with a frowned. "I want to hold my daughter."
"Right… Of course." Carley carefully handed the baby to her young mother, Clementine cradling the child close.
"I'm so glad you guys are okay… I was worried." Clementine said.
"I just wish… I would have found you sooner… Maybe I could've…. Prevented this." Carley frowned.
"It's not your fault, Carley…. I'll live with it…" Clementine said, not wanting Carley to feel guilty. Still, she knew it didn't change the older woman's feelings.
"Does it…. Hurt…?" Danielle hesitantly asked, not knowing what to make of her friend missing an arm.
"It does, but… I'll be okay, kiddo." Clementine said.
Danielle was silent for a bit before suddenly going over and hugging Clementine. "I- I missed you…"
"I missed you too… Are you okay?" Clementine asked.
Danielle gave a nod. "Carley kept us safe."
"I knew she would." Clementine gave a light smile.
"Well… now that you're reunited, can I ask what your plan is? You're welcome to stay here if you want." The medic suggested.
"Maybe for a few days…. To give her time to recover." Carley said.
"That's fine with us…But you're welcome to stay as long as you want." The medic said.
"We'll consider it. Thank you." Carley said.
Days had gone by and drifted into weeks. They stayed stationed at the mall, getting to know the families and allowing Clementine time to heal.
They had patched her up the best they could, and she was adapting well. The doctor would continue to check on her, making sure she didn't get an infection, until her stump was fully healed. She practiced doing everyday activities, to get used to have only one arm, but every so often frustration would get the better of her and make her feel like she was getting nowhere. She was frequently having sensations and pain as if her limb was still there. And the feeling of pain only intensified at night. The doctor told her that it was phantom pain, explaining that even though the limb was gone, her brain would sometimes "forget" and her nerves would attempt to use her arm. It was especially common in new amputees and could be experienced for weeks or even months after losing the limb.
It made her want to laugh bitterly every time they told her she was progressing quickly. It was a slow, painful and awkward process.
She knew it was going to be a long road at this point. She found herself slipping into a slough of despond. Nothing was able to raise her spirits.
She hadn't planned to survive like this… Broken… How was she going to raise her child? She wondered what she had done wrong. Why had this happened to her?
Although she was still able to nurse and tend to her daughter things had become a lot harder and she often had to rely on Carley for help.
Carley was worried for the teen's mental state. She could tell that this was taking a huge toll on her. Though the girl tried to mask her feelings, pretending she was okay, and telling Carley she didn't want to talk.
But Carley knew that the girl was reaching her breaking point. Clementine was silently begging for help, and Carley refused to let her suffer in silence.
"We need to talk, kid." Carley said.
"There's nothing to talk about… I'm fine." Clementine claimed, or tried to claim.
"You're not fine… I know this is hard on you." Carley said.
"Hard on me? It's not just hard on me. This is destroying my life. I- I can't… I can't do this, Carley…" Tears had begun to fall. "I feel like a failure… How can I be a good mom, like… like this?"
"You're not a failure Clem… And you're a wonderful mom." Carley tried to reassure the teen, but it was clear the girl wasn't believing her words.
"Yeah right… I can barely do anything by myself." Clementine said.
"It's okay to need help. This is new, and it's hard… But it will get better." Carley said.
"How…? I'm missing an arm! How will this possibly get better." Clementine asked.
"You're learning to adapt, and you'll continue to learn. And anytime you need help you know you can ask me… You're not alone, Clementine. And you're stronger than you think." Carley told her.
"I don't feel very strong right now…" Clementine said.
"It's okay… You're used to being independent and strong all the time, but sometimes it's okay to feel weak. Weakness, if fleeting. It's momentary fragility and you're going to overcome it. We're gonna get through this…" Carley assured the teen bringing her into a hug. "I'm here for you."
With that reassurance, Clementine felt a bit better. She knew it would be tough, but she would get through this. They had been through too much for her to give up now. And no matter what she faced, she planned to keep moving forward.