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Ch. 12- "Lies"

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As the weather began to warm and preparations for expeditions once again took precedent, Erwin found less time for his personal investigations. Between chores and training, the last thing he'd been able to find out on his own was that the Lang Company did in fact supply the Military Police with ammunition, as well as rifles. He'd written to Nile concerning their guns, but it would take a while before he got a response. Lord Lobov's correspondences seemed to be slowing as well, but as Captain Malory desperately tried to inform the section commander, that wasn't uncommon. He only wrote when there was something he needed his lackey to specifically keep an eye on, so there probably wouldn't be any letters until around the next expedition.

Erwin gave the man the benefit of the doubt; he didn't want to slam the heel of his boot down on the captain's still bruised and misshapen nose any more than the older man wanted his nose broken again. It was a sad state of affairs when heading back out into Titan-infested lands was the boring part of his life. Titans were simple. Terrible, but simple. Yes, they killed people, crushing them and ripping them into pieces and swallowing them whole, but there was no malice in their actions. An insatiable hunger, but no greed.

Malice and greed were uniquely human vices, he mused bitterly as he read through the response he'd just received from Nile, tucking the rest of his letters into his jacket.

"Wow, you've gotten popular recently, Section Commander…" Hange poked the back of the letter with their spoon. "Does poor Thomasin know you're in correspondence with so many other girlfriends?"

"This is from my old Training Corps friend, Nile…"

"Girl and boyfriends, then," they amended.

"Hange's right," Horace mused, peering over his shoulder to try and read along, causing Erwin to shift away, "You are gone an awful lot these days. And since you won't tell us what you're doing, we can only suspect it's sexual in nature."

"Please tell me you're not giving it up for free," Cecile pleaded, as the larger man laughed.

"You better charge by the inch on top of the hour. How big's that dick, Smith?"

"Small. Please shut up; I'm trying to read."

"Why are you blushing, Hange?" He could hear the confusion in Frey's voice. Bright blue eyes glanced over the letter to see the bespectacled soldier looking away, their cheeks luminescent. Cecile's jaw fell open.

"Oh my god, did you and Erwin-?!"

"Ugh. Gross." He turned his attention back to the letter, but not before catching the affronted look the brunette shot at him from the corner of his eye. The table erupted into laughter.

"God damn, Erwin, was it that bad?"

"What do you mean, 'gross'?! You're the gross one here!"

"Wait, what's gross? What are you two into that's gross?"

"Would you all please shut up; this is actually an important letter-"

"I'm not into anything- he's the pervert!"

"You're the one who doesn't know how to knock." The blonde man got to his feet, folding the letter stiffly. "I'm going back to my office."

"Yeah, I know what you'll be doing in there…" Hange muttered under their breath, conveniently forgetting that there were other people pressed shoulder to shoulder against them.

"What does he do in his office…?" Even Frey's dark eyes shone with wicked mirth. Erwin fixed his subordinate with a glacial stare.

"Yes, Hange; what do I do in my office? What did you see that you wouldn't have if your parents had taught you how to knock?" He held their gaze, unblinking, daring them to try and humiliate him. Lips twitching, Hange looked down at their lap.

"…he reads trashy romance novels."

"What?!"

"Yeah, real trashy ones." A grin crept over their lips, and they met his eyes defiantly. "The ones that have the shirtless hunks on the cover. Calling it 'romance' is a stretch- 'poorly paced erotica' is more fitting."

"EWWWW!"

"Really, Smith? What are you, twelve? Who reads that crap?"

"I do, now leave me alone." He turned on his heel, starting to regret leaning into this lie as his squad laughed at his retreating figure. But really, what did one more falsehood matter when he was already entangled in so many? There wasn't a single facet of his life anymore that didn't include some manner of lie, and the most disconcerting things was, it wasn't bothering him as much as he felt it should have.

Locking the door to his quarters simply for the sake of not wanting to deal with his squad mates trying to catch him red handed in his illicit reading habits, Erwin threw himself down on the cheap couch beside the door, wincing internally as the frame groaned under his weight. Snapping the letter open, his mind finally took in what he was reading. Nile's spiky handwriting hadn't improved since they were cadets, but it was easier to understand when he wasn't reading the same line six times.

You're right that the Lang Company supplies us with rifles too, but those shipments are all above board. At least in Stohess. When I was stationed in Ehrmich about two years ago, I remember the commander suddenly recalled, like, forty percent of our guns, saying they were "defective" and needed to be sent back for repairs. I don't think they ever came back, at least, not as a return shipment, but don't quote me on that because I transferred a few months later. I still don't know why all this matters to you; it's not like you can do anything about it. Even if any of our suppliers are defrauding us, all the judges are bought. These people aren't going to go against their own.

Oh, speaking of the shit going on in the Interior, those flying rats are getting more rowdy by the day. It's gotten to the point where even the passage guards are complaining about them. I think they're trying to provoke the MP into going after them. This isn't somehow your doing, is it, Erwin? God, your delusions are rubbing off on me…

Dragging himself over to his desk, Erwin penned a far more laconic reply.

I'm aware that corruption runs rampant in the Interior, Nile, but thank you anyway. You've been a great boon, and this information will be useful, even if it doesn't fundamentally change anything. I'm going to try and come up to Mitras soon; hopefully, your Pigeon-Rats don't get bored by then…

Folding the letter and placing it into its own envelope, he pulled out his other two letters, placing them on top of Nile's and setting all three in a top drawer. He'd deal with Lady Glass later. Right now, he needed to see the commander.

~o0o~

Two raps as usual, and he was granted entry. Commander Shadis didn't even bother looking up from what seemed to be a tax form as the door clicked and Erwin saluted.

"At ease. What do you want this time, Smith?"

"Sir, I'd like to request another change to my schedule."

"Another early day off?"

"Yes sir. Hopefully sometime within the next two weeks. I need to visit Mitras." The scratching of pen on paper stopped, and the older man sighed, rolling his shoulders until they cracked and finally looking up.

"I don't remember you having this busy of a personal life in the past, Smith. Why the sudden need for so many unscheduled personal days?" He could have lied, easily. Said a friend was ill, or maybe something outlandish like he was engaged and needed to meet his betrothed's parents. Shadis wouldn't care enough to question it. Honestly, though, any cover story seemed more tedious than it was worth. The point of lies were to make things less difficult.

"In truth, sir? Because I know about the so-called 'Dissolution Faction'-" The golden eyes staring at him widened, the heavy brow above them furrowed in fear or anger, he couldn't tell. "-and I've been looking into the matter of my own accord." The commander's lips moved in silence for a long moment.

"H… How? Who told you…?"

"A noble at the anniversary gala, sir. They only mentioned it in passing, but I've since found out more."

"Who exactly?"

"I think it best that I not reveal my sources yet, sir. I don't want anything unfortunate to happen to them." Shadis scoffed, leaning back in his seat, his expression incredulous.

" 'Sources'… What the hell are you up to, Smith?"

"I told you, sir- I'm finding out information. One cannot go up against an enemy they know nothing about." Silence fell between them as the older man digested his words. With his posture and expression as calm as he could manage, Erwin mentally prepared himself for the commander's old suspicion and disdain to resurface. He wouldn't even be able to fault the man for being upset- he was stepping well beyond his station, prying into matters his commanding officer was keeping from him and those of lower rank for a reason.

"…why are you doing all this, Erwin?" He blinked, his collected facade slipping for just a second. The commander never addressed him by his first name.

"Sir?"

"This isn't an inventory or formation issue, or anything a normal soldier needs to concern themselves with. I am the commander of the Survey Corps; this is a problem for me to deal with. Not my subordinates." Despite his strong words, Shadis' voice was quiet, more weary than angry. Throwing caution to the wind, Erwin walked forward until he was only a few inches from the desk that separated them.

"With all due respect, Commander, this is an issue I need to concern myself with. As a section commander, it is my duty to protect the Scouts under my command, be that from Titans, or wicked men who would see the Survey Corps disbanded just to line their pockets with a few more coins." The older man remained silent, gazing down at the dozens of paper strewn across his desk, seemingly without rhyme or reason.

"What exactly are you going to Mitras for?"

"I plan on visiting the Underground City for a while, sir. There's something of interest down there I need to see for myself. Hopefully, I'll be done before noon; once I've seen this point of intrigue, I'll return to base and finish my duties."

"Hmm… would next week on Thursday work for you?" Erwin frowned slightly.

"Of course sir."

"Good." Opening a drawer, Shadis pulled out another form, for leave of absence rather than a change in schedule, and began filling it out. "After you finish whatever you're doing, if you think you can make it before one, I want you to meet me at the Central Building in Ehrmich." Dread began its familiar crawl up his spine, and he swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry.

"Am I in trouble, sir?"

"No, Smith." Opening another drawer, he pulled out a smaller slip of paper, this one bearing a stamp of the royal crest. Signing it with a surprising amount of flourish, Commander Shadis handed it to Erwin. "I'm meeting with Premier Zachary next Thursday, to discuss the Corps' funding for the next quarter. I'll be bringing up your formation, and I want you to accompany me. Is that acceptable to you, section commander?" It took a moment for the younger man's mind to catch up with the rest of his body, but when it finally did, he saluted.

"Yes sir! Of course, sir. It would be an honor." Shadis sighed, muttering under his breath.

"God, I wish I was still young and stupid like you… Don't lose that slip- the guards in the Interior will chew your ass out for hours without official permission." Nodding, he folded the paper, noting that it was a much higher quality than most of the forms he was used to handling. It felt almost like cloth. Tucking it into his breast pocket, he allowed himself the tiniest of smiles. It actually felt… nice, to be completely open about something and not have it fall to pieces before him. There was still every possibility things could go wrong in the future, but in that moment, that stubborn ember of hope began glowing brighter.

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By the time he stepped into Mitras, the sun had risen high enough that the lingering dew glistening on the cobblestones had all but dried. Taking back his entry slip from the sour-faced MP that was guarding the entrance of the final wall, Erwin stifled a yawn. He'd woken when it was still dark out, taking the necessary time to make himself look presentable. While boots and pajamas would have been more than adequate for a trip to the Underground, he doubted Commander Shadis would appreciate him showing up before the Premier looking like a vagrant.

"You've never been this far into the Interior before, have you?" Nile was slightly more awake than him, although the dark circles under his eyes still indicated that he'd very much rather be in bed. He'd been waiting at the ferry port in Ehrmich, and they'd spent the final leg of the voyage to the royal capital in silence, struggling to stay awake.

"No. Scouts generally try to get away from the walls, not go further into them. The only reason any of us would have to come this far in would be if we were in trouble."

"Or if you're on the fast track to being promoted. I've never been invited by my CO to meet with the Premier…" There was a slight twinge of jealousy in the shorter man's voice as he led Erwin down an amazingly wide lane. The streets were immaculate, no cracks or potholes, no filth in the gutters, the homes that lined them even more pristine.

"I'm not 'meeting' with the Premier- I'm just going to stand in the corner while he and Commander Shadis talk about the Survey Corps' budget."

"That's how it starts. You've gotta learn about the responsibilities that come with being in charge somehow. I'm telling you, Erwin; he's grooming you to be Commander if-slash-when he finally bites it." The blonde man tried to roll his eyes, but he was so tired the strain of that motion hurt, so he gave up halfway.

"The lieutenant commander's alive, the more experienced section commanders are alive- Mike is alive. Naming me commander would be the most irresponsible thing Shadis has ever done, and that's saying something. Good god, how much longer until we get to the Underground? I'm about ten steps away from laying down in the middle of the street and going to sleep." Nile scowled at him.

"How do you think I feel, jackass? I could have slept in today if I didn't have to babysit you. The passage we're using is two streets up from here- Duke Reginald is the only one of these asshole nobles that doesn't have the audacity to charge MPs for the privilege of setting foot on his immaculate property."

"Is that legal?" Nile stopped, turning around to face him fully, his expression that of a parent trying to explain a simple concept to a very slow child.

"Erwin. 'Legal' doesn't mean the same thing in here that it does out there. Are there laws? Technically, but who's going to enforce those laws? Me, and get my ass a dishonorable discharge? I don't think so." He turned on his heel and began walking again. "No, just keep your head down and mouth shut. That's the only way for people like us to survive in here."

"That's disgusting…" Erwin seethed.

"That's life."

As they continued their trek through the rows and rows of mansions, Nile stopped before the massive iron gate of one of the smaller homes- inasmuch as a four story manor could be considered "small". Several meters away, beyond a massive fountain surrounded by marble statues of gods and goddesses, stood what appeared to be a rather unimpressive shed. Only most sheds didn't have large, burly men guarding them. Nile whistled sharply, calling over their attention.

"Hey! Military Police. Open the gate; I need to head downstairs." The guards looked at once another, speaking too quietly for the soldiers to hear. One rolled his eyes and trudged over, looking none too pleased with being called over like a dog. Scowling at Nile, his attention was quickly drawn to the taller man standing behind him. A cruel smirk tugged at his chapped lips.

"What's this, Dok? Had to bring backup in case we don't let you come down to play? What's your name, Blondie?"

"Section Commander Smith of the Survey Corps." A derisive snort was his response.

" 'Commander'? I think you mean 'canape'. Hey, do the Titans eat you one at a time, or do they just grab handfuls of you like nuts?"

"It depends," he said dryly. "Would you kindly open the gate? Lieutenent Dok and I have business to attend to in the Underground." His request was met with a bark of derisive laughter that reeked of cheap wine.

"Are you fukken hearing this, Lou? 'Would you kindly'? Is that how you ask the Titans to stop eatin' your buddies?"

"Lawrence-" Nile's tone was sharp but he couldn't utter more than the man's name before Erwin reached over his head, grabbing a fistful of the guard's shirt through the bars and pulling him closer. The iron dug into his unshaven cheek as the other guard unsheathed what looked like a knife.

"You have two seconds to open this gate before I climb over it and give you a demonstration of how I deal with Titans." He shot the other guard a withering glare. "That piddly little knife doesn't scare me, sir; I regularly deal with teeth longer than that."

"…fine," the man he was holding spat, and as Erwin released him, he pulled a key from his pocket, unlocking the gate and cursing up a storm. "No wonder they toss you freaks beyond the walls…"

"The freak can still hear you, you know," Nile intoned, grinning ear to ear. "This freak has also been killing Titans for almost a decade, but please, by all means, keep pissing him off."

He gave a mocking bow as the man with the knife stepped aside, allowing them access to what had to be the longest staircase Erwin had ever seen. Despite torches mounted along the earthen walls, he still couldn't see the bottom. His companion had no reservations about descending into the cold, dark earth, so he followed suits, staying a few steps behind. The ceiling above him wasn't so low that he had to stoop, but if he jumped, he'd easily hit his head.

"Ha, that was hilarious," Nile called back over the crackling of the torches. "Those big, stupid assholes are always a pain, so watching you put them in their place was… mwah!" He kissed his fingers.

"You could easily do the same."

"Yeah, and get written up? Have Duke Reginald pull his support from the Brigade because of me specifically? That's a good way to end up with a target on my back."

"So I get to have a target on my back instead?" He asked incredulously.

"Better you than me. You're a Scout- no one's going to bother you."

"You have a gun!"

Groaning and wondering just how many enemies he was going to make this year, Erwin stretched his arms above his head, surprised when they didn't hit the ceiling he knew was there. Or rather, thought was there. Craning his head back, all he saw was darkness… at first. As his eyes adjusted, he could make out the faintest texture of the cavern. Thick, jagged rocks hanging over their heads like a Titan's teeth… It was dark as night, despite being early morning. Looking down, he noticed lights in the distance, though clusters were dim and few and far between.

"Why aren't the Military Police guarding these passages?" He asked, mostly just to fill the silence.

"Cuz they're considered private property."

"I thought that was all you lot guarded?"

"Hahaha, fuck you. If the government gets involved, then the nobles can't charge an arm and a leg for the poor saps down here to come up. I mean, they can, but it wouldn't be as convenient. It's easier to just hire your own goons than trust people who have guns not to decide they want a bigger cut." Erwin was almost grateful for the dark- he didn't want Nile to tun around and see the utter contempt etched into his face and think it was directed at him.

"These people shouldn't have to pay to come up- this world belongs to them just as much as it belongs to these noble bastards."

"Yeah, well, petition the royal family. They're the ones who deemed that people born underground aren't people like us. No citizenship, no right to sunlight or fresh air…" For as weary as Nile's tone was, there was a deep sadness buried within it as well. It seemed that the staircase went on forever, that the lights that must have signified civilization never got any closer. However they eventually reached the bottom. Pulling his rifle off, the MP rested the stock on his shoulder. "Okay, keep your hand on your wallet- you will get robbed down here otherwise."

"Where are we going?"

"Don't know. Just follow the general sound of crime." Falling in step beside his friend, Erwin ignored his warning. He wasn't carrying enough money that losing it would negatively affect him as much as stealing it might positively affect someone living down here.

Aside from the darkness (which his eyes were rapidly growing accustomed to) and the smell of mildew and stagnant air and open sewage, the ground was terribly uneven. That probably was the reason so many of the buildings they passed were leaning, their bricks falling apart, roofs caved in, window panes not lining up with the frames. He had assumed people would be gathered around the light sources, but it quickly became clear that there was not enough light for all the people. They huddled in the shadows, sitting on broken steps and laying against crumbling foundations, so still in such pervasive darkness that Erwin couldn't tell if they were alive or dead. He quickly stopped looking around, keeping his gaze focused in front of him.

The closer to the light they walked, the louder sounds of life became, laughing and arguing, screaming and crying, moaning and singing and dogs barking and wheels crunching gravel… it reminded him of Shiganshina, but for all the similarities, there was an overbearing air of misery and despair that made everything feel just that much off. He didn't understand how people could be acutely aware that such horrid, depressing squalor existed right under their feet and, rather than make even the tiniest effort to help those poor souls, instead decide to exploit them. The cruelty and wickedness of men should have come as no surprise to him, but it always did.

The better lit areas had taller buildings and generally seemed more lived in, with most of the people at least on their feet. There was an aimlessness most of them seemed to have, many with a far off look in their eyes that Erwin had seen in many a Scout after a particularly gruesome bloodbath. He wondered what horrors these people could be seeing so far away from the Titans, but didn't have long to dwell on his thoughts as more and more gazes that weren't staring into a void locked onto them. Their eyes were wide, unblinking as they followed the two men. A bead of nervous sweat ran down his neck.

"Um, Nile? What-?"

"Just ignore them." The shorter man quickened his gait, and for one horrible moment, Erwin wondered if it wasn't because he was anticipating an attack, but the young man that rushed over to them did not do so with a weapon in hand, or even raised fists. His face was bruised and bloody, one eye swollen shut, but the other was filled with relief.

"An MP, thank God! You have to help me!"

"Sorry, I'm not on duty." Nile's response was as emotionless as it was well-rehearsed; he wasn't even looking at the man he spoke to, trying to step around him, but with the tension broken, the other people began crowding around them.

"Please! They stole everything-"

"My son's been missing-"

"-girl in the alley three streets down; I think she's dead-" Their voices overlapped and cut into one another, a cacophonous symphony of desperation.

"-you have to help me, please-"

"-he said he'd kill me if I-"

"-finally get off your asses-" Nile rubbed his eyes, his voice more plaintive than many of the people surrounding them.

"Look, I'm sorry- I can't help all of-"

"-please, sir, my mother-"

"-can't feed my children-"

"-if you lot ever came down here-" Moving past them was impossible. Looking away was impossible when they were on every side, more than a dozen faces filled with fear and pain and hope and anger.

"Everyone, please, one at a time. We can't hear you when you all—" Erwin tried to raise his voice to be heard over the crowd, his attention quickly turning to a young woman with a tear-stained face tugging on his jacket. He'd barely taken his eyes off Nile when a sickening crunch followed by several screams of anger and fright immediately drew his attention back. His friend had taken his rifle in hand, smashing the butt of it into the mouth of the nearest person, a man who looked old enough to be their father. He stumbled back, blood pouring down his chin as he spat out several teeth.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"You monster!"

"You can't treat us like this, you bastard!"

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" Nile flipped his gun around, finger hovering dangerously close to the trigger. Most of the people were wise enough to flee with a likely loaded barrel aimed at their faces, those that remained seemingly frozen in terror or rage. "I will shoot every last one of you if you don't crawl back into whatever fucking gutters you crawled out of, I swear to god!" Teeth bared and breathing hard, the gun shook in his hands.

"Nile…" Erwin whispered to his friend, approaching him slowly, hands held up so the other man could see him as he reached out, gently lowering the long barrel.

Despite the gun no longer being pointed at them, the remaining crowd was wise enough to step aside as he led Nile away. They passed several buildings before the dark-haired man leaned against one of them, letting his head fall back to rest against the grimy, crumbling plaster as he struggled to calm his breathing. Erwin remained silent, though he carefully took hold of the gun, pulling it away. With his hands free, the other man reached up to rub his temples, his sharp features pinched. Trying to quell the horrified discontent brewing in his chest, Erwin stared at the gun in his hands.

It had been years since he'd held a gun; there was little purpose for them beyond the walls. It felt bulky and awkward- he couldn't imagine holding one every day… turning it on other humans… How easily could that have been him, threatening to shoot people who only wanted his help, if he'd decided a life with Marie was more worthwhile than making up for his father's death? 'No,' he told himself harshly, 'I would never. That's not the kind of person I am…' No… he was just the kind of person who completely turned his back on his fellow humans, deciding that "what-ifs" beyond the walls were more important than any of the suffering within them. Who was he to judge a man for being overwhelmed by the tragedies he himself went out of his way to ignore? Hooking the rifle's strap over his shoulder, he laid a light hand on his friend's.

"Are you okay, Nile?"

"No." Dropping his hands, he pushed himself away from the wall, taking a few steps forward before he paused, turning and snatching back his gun. "Gimme that, I think I hear-" Erwin could hear it, too. In the distance, something had crashed and people were shouting. His heart sank.

"What is that? A riot?" Groaning, Nile pinched the narrow bridge of his nose.

"No, but it might turn into one. It's your lucky day, Erwin- I know that sound… Come on." Excitement quickly replaced his apprehension, and the blonde man took a moment to truly listen. The shouting was dotted with whoops and even a few cheers here and there, the sounds quickly moving always from the initial crash. Grabbing the other man's wrist, he began running in the direction opposite where he was being led. "What are you doing?!"

"Intercepting them!" They were fast- despite being on the other side of several blocks of buildings, those shouts were coming closer.

Dragging Nile behind him was slowing him down, so Erwin released the MP, putting on a burst of speed and ignoring the calls for him to stop. He didn't have any idea where he was going, but he didn't need to know where he was- all he needed was to follow those sounds. He wished he'd worn his own ODM gear- obstacles like crates and steps and other people would have been so much easier to navigate if he were above them, but he managed well enough on the ground. It was faint, but he could hear the tell-tale whine of cables being retracted, the hiss of exhaust.

Throwing himself over a table that might have been a shopkeeper's stall, his momentum was stopped by the bodies of two people he collided with. They swore at him, their angry words falling on deaf ears as Erwin looked up, following the trail of three people who looked as though they were gliding on their cables. Their movements were so effortless, so natural it seemed they had been born in the air. They moved so fast he couldn't make out any features, other than their hair color, and the fact that one of them was somehow even more skilled than the rest.

Petite, with short black hair, they were leading the pack. Erwin watched that one shift their weight just enough to carry their momentum into a sharp turn, eventually rounding the corner of one of the buildings and vanishing, their companions following close behind. The mutters of the crowd didn't reach him, nor did even his own ragged breaths. It was hard to tell if his heart was pounding from how hard he'd run, or from the sheer exhilaration of watching such proficiency.

He hadn't felt this way since he'd first stepped into the forest on the Training Corps' base with the rest of the 89th, watching wide-eyed and slack jawed at the older cadets showed them what was expected of them. For as amazing as he'd been back then, even Mike couldn't hold a candle to that dark-haired criminal. It was hard to believe he and that person were the same species; Erwin would have had an easier time believing he'd just witnessed a bird that took on a human form.

"Fucking hell, there you are…!" Nile's breathing was even more ragged than his own. He ignored the hand on his shoulder, the other man leaning his entire body weight on him. "Oh, I'm out of shape… Are you crazy, Erwin?! What were you thinking, running off like that? What would you have done if you'd gotten lost? You expect me to turn every stone looking for you?" Unable to keep the smile from blooming across his face, he finally turned to face his friend.

"I want them, Nile." Hazel eyes that had been narrowed in annoyance widened.

"What?"

"I need them." Nile recoiled from him, very obvious unease twisting his lips.

"Okay, let's get you back to the surface; you've got a little… crazy in your eyes…"

Whereas the journey into the Underground had been dominated by an uncomfortable silence, Erwin spoke nearly every moment of the trip back up.

"They were amazing, Nile! Why didn't you tell me how incredible they were?!"

"I told you they keep out-maneuvering us."

"Literal first year cadets can do that."

"So you finally believe that you can't just 'apprehend' them?"

"You can't apprehend them; I can, and will." Stepping out of the passageway, he paused, raising a hand against the much stronger sunlight. How blinding would the daylight have been for someone who had never seen such a thing before, he wondered in the back of his mind. "You can tell your superiors not to worry about these Pigeon-Rats anymore, Nile- the Survey Corps is going to be taking over this case." Nile frowned at him, replacing his rifle on his back and hooking his thumb in his belt loop.

"You don't have the authority to make a decision like that, Erwin."

"Commander Shadis will be authorizing it once we get back to base."

~o0o~

They had to split up, each taking different ferries. Erwin thanked Nile sincerely for wasting his time on such a selfish request, secretly hoping the other man would go home soon. He didn't like what he'd seen in the Underground, hoping that outburst had simply been the result of too much work and too little sleep, and that Marie's sweet voice and hands would chase away the darkness that lingered behind his friend's eyes. As he leaned over the railing of the ferry, staring at the sunlight reflected on the rippling water, he found himself wishing he could "go home" too. The genuine excitement he'd felt watching those criminals zip above his head like birds was like a drug- intense, but short-lived.

The misery and squalor of everything else in the Underground, the many irons he was trying to juggle in a fire that he was becoming increasingly aware could easily burn him, the niggling worry that Nile was right and that Shadis was scheming to somehow name him commander… The weight of so many worries atop the omnipresent threat of death that ever nipped at his heels was already getting to him. It had bothered him more than he cared to admit, noticing the faint lines creasing the corners of Nile's mouth. He didn't want to imagine what lines were already showing up on his face.

Erwin tried not to look at himself in the mirror any more than he absolutely had to- something in the back of his mind told him that the person staring back at him wasn't him. That perpetually exhausted, grim-faced man who glared at him through the looking glass couldn't possibly be the same man of twenty six whose friends mocked him for his apparent love of horrible romance stories, who still had nightmares of his father dying, who couldn't even work up the courage to tell a girl that he liked her as more than a friend… This world aged him, wearing him down, and he wanted so badly to have somewhere to go to get away from it, somewhere that was his, where a warm smile and sweet voice and gentle hands would be waiting to shield him from the demands of others, the demands he placed on himself, if only for a little while…

The splashing of the waves against the boat's hull and the verdant landscape slowly drifting by lulled Erwin into a half-sleeping state where the thoughts that always buzzed in his mind like angry bees could easily be drowned out by the faint chatter of the other passengers. He barely noticed the ferry lurching to a stop, but the deafening hiss of its pneumatic system certainly startled him awake. The sun had nearly climbed to its peak in the sky, warming him enough that he removed his jacket as he followed the rest of the passengers into the district. It did little to chase away the lingering tired feeling that he tried to rub from his eyes, however. Checking that his wallet was still in his pocket (it was, thankfully), he hailed a carriage, telling the driver to take him to the central building and dropping several coins in their hand. Hopefully, the meeting with the Premier would go well enough that he could broach the subject of their illicitly vertical-maneuvering brethren in the Underground today.

~o0o~

"Commander!" Erwin all but leaned out the window, shouting even as he pounded on the front panel of the carriage to tell the driver to stop. The wheels were still rolling as he threw open the door and jumped out, the ache in his knees from the impact barely a twinge compared to the strain of vertical maneuvering. Commander Shadis had just ascended the stairs of the massive government building, and though he spared Erwin a glance, he didn't bother stopping. It was up to the younger man to take the steps two at a time to reach him just as his hand made contact with the massive wooden doors.

"I didn't think you'd be coming, Smith."

"Apologies, sir. There was a… a disturbance in the… Underground…" Leaning his weight on his knees, the section commander panted for a few seconds before inhaling deeply and straightening. Pushing the door open, the older man stepped inside, barely holding it long enough for Erwin to slip in behind him. That was honestly more courtesy than he would have expected.

Shadis' posture was almost nonchalant as he walked, his stride actually enough to outpace Erwin's (an honor only he and Mike could claim) as he followed a path he had undoubtedly walked so many times, he knew it by heart. The only indication that the commander wasn't as relaxed as he portrayed himself being the way he ran his fingers over the seam of his leather wrap. It was unlikely anyone but the man walking beside him would have noticed the slight movement of his forefinger and thumb.

"So, did you see the interesting thing you went there to see?"

"Yes, sir. It was… amazing, quite frankly. In fact, I'd like to discuss it with you later, if you have the time."

"It's up to Zachary if I have time…"

The Premier's office, on the third floor, wasn't nearly as lavish as Erwin had been expecting. It was downright barren, reminding him of the Commander's office back in Trost. It was surprising, but heartening as well. There was no guarantee that General Zachary wasn't just as corrupt as any other man in a position of power- many things could be hidden below the surface- but it put him at ease to at least not have garish displays of wealth assaulting him from every angle. The portly man had been reading something as they entered, putting it within a drawer and adjusting the thin frames of his glasses as the Scouts saluted.

"At ease. You're nearly late, Keith."

"My apologies, general. I was waiting on my subordinate to join us." Sharp hazel eyes flashed as Zachary glanced at Erwin.

"Ah, Section Commander Smith. I see you're still alive."

"Yes sir."

"That's good. We'd hate to lose such brilliant minds before their time." Sighing, he pulled a stack of papers from yet another drawer and turned to face Shadis. "I'm afraid your proposal had been denied, Commander." The fingers that had been tugging at loose threads in the dark leather balled into fists.

"I cannot accept that! Sir, have you even looked at it? If we put this formation into practice, we would be able to drastically reduce our mortality rate beyond the walls."

"It costs too much."

"The long-term cost of longer expeditions with fewer causalities-"

"The tax payers don't care about 'long-term' costs." Zachary's chair scraped loudly against the tile floor as he turned it, leaning partially on his desk and fixing the youngest man in the room with an intense stare. "This 'Long-Distance Enemy Scouting Formation'… I hear you developed it, Erwin." He wasn't sure what surprised him more; that Shadis had given him credit, or that the Commander-in-Chief of the entire military remembered his name. He kept his surprise under lock and key, however, only standing a bit straighter.

"That's correct, sir." The older man shook his head slightly.

"You should do something about that name; it's a mouthful. Even so, it's quite brilliant. Even a fool could understand how utilizing the Survey Corps' meager numbers to avoid combat would save countless lives. It's a wonder no one's thought of such a thing before, but who needs to innovate when you can just keep throwing good lives after bad, am I right?" Erwin could hear Shadis wince beside him, and remained quiet, unsure of who would be less dangerous to anger in that moment. Fortunately, Zachary took pity on him. "I jest, of course. Truthfully, though, this completely original way of thinking is most admirable. You should be proud, Section Commander."

"I am honored that you would say so, sir." Finally managing to swallow his indignation, the commander spoke up once more, his voice a bit more strained than it had been.

"General, if you understand the benefits, then why-?"

"Because the Council. Won't. Approve, Keith." The premier emphasized his words, slapping his hand on his desk. That slight showing of emotion seemed to drain him, and when he stood with a groan, it seemed his age was truly getting to him. "For years, many members have opposed the Survey Corps continuing their expeditions, even when the greatest cost was a human one…" He moved to stand beside the window, staring out into the courtyard his office overlooked. "I've managed to persuade them in the past, but now that I have Councilman Lobov calling for the outright dissolution of the Corps, it's all but guaranteed the Assembly will fall in line with his wishes. He holds too much sway, has too many ears… Even the public is beginning to grow resentful of all the bodies " Even with his hands behind his back, Erwin would not have risked letting his hands clench until his nails cut into his palms had the General been facing them. Commander Shadis was less furtive with his frustration.

"So that's it, then? We just give up? Are we to just let the sacrifices of the brave soldiers who died for us to come this far be in vain!?"

"Keith…" In contrast to Shadis' near yelling, Zachary's voice was little more than a whisper, but it still managed to carry all the way across the room. "Please understand. My hands are tied." That quiet voice took all the anger from the commander, leaving his eyes empty as he stared past the older man.

"…so they've already decided to suspend our activities…?"

"The council won't vote for another five days, but…" Zachary sighed deeply.

"I doubt there's any way to stop them now that their minds are made up. I truly am sorry, Commander Shadis."

"…understood, sir."

~o0o~

Erwin had been ready to head back to Trost on his own, assuming the commander wanted to be alone, but to his surprise, Shadis ordered him to accompany him back. It had only been months since they'd last shared a carriage, but in that time, the commander seemed to have age several years. With his head bowed, Erwin could see where his hair had thinned so much on top of his head that his scalp shone through. He'd heard tales that Keith Shadis used to be rather handsome in his youth, that he used to smile and laugh back when he had been a captain… It was hard now to see any glimmer of the young, hopeful man he used to be in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Commander…"

"Don't be, Smith. It's not your fault." Shadis leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest as though he could somehow guard himself from the disappointments of the world that way. "Zachary was right; your formation is brilliant, and you should be proud. Maybe if I had brought it before the Council when you first proposed it, they would have approved of it…"

It should have been humbling, that such a senior officer was complimenting him, but he knew the only reason for his words was because the Commander was miserable. There was no way he'd admit to such things if his pride hadn't just taken a beating. Erwin wasn't the kind of person who took any pleasure in being proven right by a sad, beaten down old man.

"I honestly doubt that, sir, given who our biggest detractor is." Shadis sighed, his jaw tight.

"So it is Lobov… I had my suspicion. Did your 'sources' say the same thing, Smith?" There was no reason to hide what he knew anymore, so the blonde man nodded.

"Yes. In fact, the reason I know my formation wouldn't have been approved had you proposed it earlier is because Lobov and this Dissolution Faction have been digging their claws into the military for at least the last two years." The commander's eyes widened.

"What do you mean?"

"According to my information, he has connections to the Lang Company, which he's been using to defraud the Military Police for the last two years. I can't say whether or not they've been doing the same to the Garrison. What I can say is, they've been keeping tabs on you to see if you were on to them, Commander." His face paled slightly.

"And you're sure your information is reliable?" Leaning forward, Erwin met the other man's gaze head on.

"Lobov sent someone to infiltrate the Survey Corps to report on it from the inside. That spy is one of my sources, so yes, I'm sure my information is reliable."

"…how long has it taken you to discover all this, Smith?"

"About seven months, give or take, sir." Shadis scoffed under his breath, shaking his head.

"Years… I've been fighting these bastards for years… and you accomplish more than I ever could have in a matter of months…"

"I assure you sir," he quickly set about preemptively downplaying his results, "Everything that I accomplished was due to happenstance. I simply met the right people at the right time. Nothing more." The older man frowned at him.

"Why do you do that, Erwin?"

"Do what, sir?"

"That. Lie. Constantly downplay your talents and accomplishments." Well shit. "You've been doing it for years. …are you afraid of me?"

"No, sir."

"You're lying again. You probably think I'm going to put you on stable duty if you say anything I don't like, is that it?" Erwin remained silent, but that silence wasn't fooling anyone. Groaning, Shadis ran a hand through his short, choppy hair. "Zachary was right. That old bat knows he's got me pegged. That was a mistake on my part, Smith; I'd like to think I'm mature enough to admit that now."

"No, you were right, sir. I was immature and inexperienced at the time. I truly had no idea just how much of a burden leadership in the Survey Corps entailed. I didn't even know you had to get approval from the Premier for things like formation changes- I thought all the decisions I didn't agree with were yours and yours alone." Even Thomasin had figured that out before him, For what it's worth, I think those orders come from the brass, not Shadis… "These are the kinds of things they should teach recruits in the Training Corps," he muttered under his breath. Shadis laughed through his nose.

"Teach a bunch of snot-nosed brats about the bureaucracy of the military? Our recruitment numbers are already abysmal, Smith- we don't need to chase them away before they even finish basic training…" The mood in the carriage had lightened, if only every so slightly.

Erwin glanced out the window, at the brightly colored blurs of people, walking with their children or lovers or even alone, a microcosm of humanity. Were there other places like this in the world? Other places with walls just as high, too afraid of the Titans scratching at them to dare venture outside them, with people living simple, peaceful lives? Were there people like him in those other places, people who wondered if he existed, just as he wondered if they existed? What does it matter, Thomasin would ask, her chin slipping off her hand, the heel of her hand digging into her high cheek. The apathy from the past would be gone, lips pursed in bemusement, annoyance. Even if you could kill all the Titans, what if you still can't reach them? What if they live on top of high mountains, or underground, or if their walls are even taller than ours? What if they just don't want anything to dowith you…? Those were bridges he'd cross when he got there. For now, he needed to reach those bridges…

"So, if everything is as your sources say, what do we do about it?" He'd almost completely forgotten the commander was still there with him. "Do we appeal to the Premier?" Erwin hummed thoughtfully.

"I think General Zachary is already aware of all of this, at least to some extent. He doesn't seem pleased with it, so I can only assume there are circumstances preventing him from going public with this information…" Shadis let his eyes slip shut.

"I'm useless with politics… All I know how to do is lead head-on charges." An idea began brewing in Erwin's mind- well, more of a blind gamble than anything that could be called a well thought out "idea", but the only alternative was sitting around, waiting for the proverbial blade to drop on their necks.

"Sir… Would you leave this matter to me?" Deep-set eyes opened, their golden hue more bronze in the dim carriage.

"What are you planning on doing, Smith?"

"I have a couple of ideas, sir."

" 'Ideas'? Like what? Even if you've somehow made friends in the nobility, the snakes on the Council aren't the kind who are convinced with rousing speeches, especially not from the likes of you." His eyes widened, a glint of… what? Fear? Worry in their depths? For him? "You don't mean… Lobov himself? Smith, what are you planning on-"

"Sir, I'll have to ask you to let the matter drop. It's best that you don't know anymore than this- the last thing we need is for you to lie under oath."

"Erwin… you're planning on doing something illegal, aren't you?" Thick brows furrowed slightly, his lips turning downward.

"Define 'illegal'. What is legal for you and I, and what is legal for men like Nicholas Lobov seem to be vastly different, so I'm afraid I can't give you an answer. All I can do is ask that you trust me, sir. Trust that I'm doing what is best for the Survey Corps." Shadis didn't seem convinced.

"The capital is a bed of vipers, Erwin. Even if it's for the sake of the Corps, I can't conscionably agree to let you-"

"Sir." Erwin's voice was surprisingly hard. "When I entered the Survey Corps and first witnessed the Titans with my own eyes, I realized just how perilous humanity's situation truly was. Even if we were to seal the gates as some believe we should, even if the walls grew another fifty meters, that would not save us. Food, clean water, natural resources- it will all run out eventually, especially when some take more than their share. No pen can hold its livestock indefinitely. The Titans don't have to devour us to kill us; all they have to do is keep us trapped in this cage, and one day, we'll devour ourselves.

It may not happen for another hundred years, but it will happen, and when it does, the things we cling so tightly to- wealth, authority, lofty ideals- will mean nothing. And that is why, no matter what foul means we must use, we can never abandon our efforts to take this world back from the Titans, come what may!" To hell with his formation- coming up with that speech on the spot was what Erwin was truly proud of. An amalgam of noble-sounding lies mixed with just enough truth to make it convincing. And it certainly seemed to convince the commander.

"…very well. I'll leave it all to you. No matter what, we must hold onto our hope for the future."

"I agree wholeheartedly, sir. And, to that effect, I'd like to discuss the 'interesting' matter I saw to in Mitras today. I feel it may help us in our struggle to hold onto that hope…"

000000000

It was well past midnight when Erwin finally collapsed onto his bed, leaving his clothes in piles on the floor where he'd removed them. He had done so much today, and there was still so much to do, but for as tired as he was, he didn't feel weary. His feet were killing him, and he could barely summon the strength to climb under his covers, but as his eyes began falling shut, he didn't feel the usual surge of intrusive thoughts that so often kept him awake or bled into nightmares.

No, his only thought as he quickly drifted off was that, as soon as he woke, he needed to visit Thomasin. He needed to retrieve some of those letters, but more importantly, he needed to tell her about his amazing discovery. 'I saw the most extraordinary little birds yesterday, Thomasin… you should have seen them…'

000000000

A/N- Ahhhh, I'm trembling with anticipation~ I hope that the people who came to this story for romance aren't horribly disappointed by the lack of it… and I hope the people who are staying for canon-characters and plot stuff aren't too put off by my OC(s). I tend to like the OC/Canon romances I write, but I know those aren't everyone's cups of tea. I hope that y'all find Thomasin tolerable, at least. And if you don't, I'd love to know why. Hell, if you do, I'd love to know why. Feedback isn't just welcomed, it's greatly appreciated!