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Ch.13- "Flight"
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It was unusual that so many things could go in the Survey Corps' favor, but in truth, getting Lord Lobov to back down had been the easy part. The old man had initially refused to see Erwin, but as he'd told Commander Shadis, he was not above using foul means to get what he wanted. He had seen the terror in the nobleman's eyes once that pale gray gaze finally spotted him, hanging outside the window of his private chamber like the spectre of death itself. ODM gear use was forbidden within district limits, but just as he had told Lord Lobov, there was no one around to tell him what he could or couldn't do…
"This is an outrage! The Military Police will-"
"The Military Police won't anything; I was never here, milord." He pulled a letter with a remarkably legible signature from his pocket, holding it at the lord's eye level. "Does this look familiar?" A muscle jumped in the older man's sunken cheek, and he reached out a wizened hand to grab the paper. Erwin wondered if Lobov actually thought he would allow that, snatching it back and out of the lord's reach. "Look with your eyes, not your hands." He watched those eyes scan the paper, growing darker as they reread line after line of damning confession. Snarling, he glared up at the taller man.
"You think you can blackmail me, peasant?"
"Blackmail is such an ugly word. I'd call this an exchange. You, and by extension the Council, will approve the Survey Corps' funding, and this-" he shook the letter between his fingers, "-goes away." He folded the letter once more and tucked it back into his pocket. Unfortunately, men like Lobov were not quick to relinquish their hold on power, even when it was clear they needed to.
"And if I don't? Do you think I'm afraid of a piece of paper, boy?" Erwin already had one foot on the windowsill, triggers in hand. He glanced back at the older man.
"If you were a wise man, yes. But in case you're not, let me remind you, milord; I know where you sleep…"
If you'd asked Erwin even a decade ago if he thought he'd be embroiled in extortion schemes, with death threats falling from his lips like honeyed wine, he'd have looked at you as though you were crazed and dangerous. He had thought the world was just, once. That, even though bad things happened to good people, they happened for reasons. Reasons as pointless and cruel as a little boy not keeping a secret, but reasons he could understand. He had been wrong about that just as he had been wrong about so many things. Justice was like freedom in this world- you had to tear it away from the monsters that kept it from you.
If Nicholas Lobov was a wise man or not remained to be seen, but he had at least enough sense to value his life in the short term.
"It passed." General Zachary adjusted his glasses, sliding the stack of papers bearing a crimson "APPROVED" stamp across the topmost sheet back into the envelope on his desk. "I never imagined Councilman Lobov would change his mind. Do you have any idea why he did, Keith?"
"Not personally, no, sir…" Erwin caught the glance the gray-haired man threw his way, but did not so much as blink.
"There are still many voices calling for your dissolution, but you have the go-ahead this time. And unless this expedition produces significant results, I can't guarantee there will be a next time. It will be up to you to prove to the Assembly that the Survey Corps is worth its cost."
"Yes sir!" Both Scouts saluted, and the Premier dismissed them with a wave, pulling out another form to review.
"General? What about the Underground Operation?"
"Hm? Oh," Pausing from his reading, Zachary looked up at Erwin. "I've passed it onto the Military Police. You have authority to do as you see fit, though Commander Harwin felt the need to impress upon me that the best course of action in his eyes is a summary execution."
"That may benefit the Military Police, but I'm afraid it does nothing for the Survey Corps, sir."
"And you think that recruiting untrained, undisciplined street thugs will help the Corps?" He understood Zachary's reticence- Shadis had the same response, but Erwin expected that of old men set in their ways.
"I think calling them 'untrained' and 'undisciplined' is a gross exaggeration, General. I recently saw them with my own eyes, and I can confidently say that, even if they didn't receive military training, their ODM skill is beyond question. The one I believe is their leader showed proficiency far exceeding even that of the Survey Corps veterans. That level of competency does not come without training. Maintaining such tight formations is not possible without discipline. Any fool with two hands can learn how to give a proper salute, sir." Though his expression did not change but for a slight quirk of his brow, Zachary seemed impressed.
"Is that so? High praise indeed, coming from the Survey Corps' golden boy. Well, I pray you aren't getting in over your head; there are enough things for you all to worry about without the added threat of criminals turning on you…" Erwin said nothing. That wasn't an "added threat"- he'd already accounted for exactly that.
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"Ugh, this place fucking reeks! I can't be down here!"
"Dammit, Mike, I need you!"
"Let me go!"
"Frey, help me hold him down…!"
If the residents of the Underground found anything strange about the sight of three soldiers dogpiling a fourth, they were wise enough to mind their own business. Putting the captain in the same kind of chokehold he managed to use against Erwin was difficult, given the other man's height and the fact that he had a good twenty pounds on him, but with Frey and Cecile working together to immobilize his lower half, they at least managed to keep him from fleeing.
"Breathe through your nose!" Cecile shouted, the taller man's gas canister digging hard into her cheek as she tightened her hold on his thigh. Mike snarled at them, downright feral.
"I'd rather die!"
"You have to get used to it!"
"I can't! It's like rolling around in open sewage! I can taste it!" Clapping both hands tightly over his friend's mouth, Erwin ignored the attempts to bite his palms, even when the other man actually nipped at his skin.
"The faster you calm down and accept this, the faster it'll all be over."
"FUCK! YOU!" Even muffled, those words were enunciated well enough to fully emphasize his loathing.
Though Commander Shadis had given him carte blanche to decide who would be accompanying him on the Underground Operation, he really wouldn't have chosen Mike if not for the fact that he was absolutely certain the older man's ability to track by scent was going to be crucial in ensuring they didn't lose their marks. Erwin himself had only seen the gang by following the sounds of havoc and the tell-tale noise of ODM usage, and there was no guarantee they'd hear either of those things if the criminals they were hunting gained sufficient distance. Slowly, Mike stopped struggling, moaning pathetically as his posture grew more and more defeated.
"Are you going to behave?" Erwin asked sternly, removing his hands once the taller man nodded. Stepping back, his squad mates did the same, leaving the captain to slump forward… before whipping around and swinging a haymaker right at the other blonde's face. He was just far away enough that Mike's knuckles only grazed his cheek, but there was enough force behind the blow that even that sent him stumbling back. Straightening, Mike flexed his fingers.
"Okay, now I'm going to behave."
"That was incredibly unprofessional, Captain Zacharias," Frey chided, unholstering his ODM handles. "You could have punched a hole straight through Erwin's skull."
"Implying that wasn't my intention…" As they propelled themselves up to the rooftops, Cecile landed lightly beside Erwin.
"Even if we manage to catch these thugs, do you really think for a second that they're going to just agree to join the Scouts?"
"Willingly? Not a chance. They'll have to be… convinced. Frey? You have the cuffs, yes?" The dark-haired man patted a bag attached to his belt, which jangled softly with the movement. "And the keys?"
"Uh… they're somewhere in there."
"How are we even supposed to find them?" Mike grumbled, pulling his shirt over the bottom half of his face. "All I smell up here is piss, and shit, and every other bodily fluid known to man."
"You'll be tracking the scent of iceburst exhaust, and only if we lose them. They're going to come to us." Scanning the alleys, Erwin noticed one of the people milling about below them wearing a familiar green cloak. Motioning to his fellow Scouts to follow him, he led them across the roofs, following the trail of Military Police that seemed to be loitering around at random. Commander Harwin helped set up a sting operation, or at least, had his subordinates set it up. They were mostly standing by in case the Pigeon-Rats that had been a thorn in their side for so long decided they didn't want to cooperate with the Survey Corps. Frey stopped suddenly, looking around.
"Do you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
"Motors…" Pulling his shirt down and inhaling deeply, Mike's eyes snapped open as he turned northeast of where they were heading.
"Exhaust. They're comi-" A crash followed by angry shouts and curses, just as he'd heard the first time he'd seen them. Erwin couldn't stop the ear-to-ear smile that spread across his face.
"They're heading east! Move out, Scouts!"
The tightly clustered buildings, despite being differing heights, proved to be as good for vertical-maneuvering as the giant forests they usually utilized. Their targets were operating close enough to the ground to leave a trail of destruction and angry, sprawled out bodies in their wake, which Erwin couldn't help but assume was deliberate. After all, if they were always so careless, even with their exceptional ODM skills, even the most incompetent MP would be able to track them down. However…
"They know about you. They know you're going to try to capture them." Since Captain Malory had been good enough to come to him with this new information, Erwin decided the least he could do was treat the man with a modicum of civility. Handing him a cup of tea, and wondering if it wouldn't be prudent to maybe invest in higher quality leaves for "guests", he leaned on the edge of his desk. The older man stared into the cup, but didn't drink. "Your little stunt was beyond stupid, Smith; Lobov wants you dead."
"So do the Titans- he can get in line."
"If you were actually as smart as you think you are, you wouldn't have gone to Zachary about those underground thugs. You could have tracked them down just as easily as you tacked down Lobov."
"Tracking down criminals with a soldiers' ODM skill who don't want to be caught is nothing like tracking down an old man who thinks his wealth will protect him from people who don't care about that." He pointedly met the other man's gaze. Malory sighed, gripping his cup tighter.
"…what's going to happen to my brother when all this is over? He's not some evil monster, Smith- he has a family to take care of!"
"So do many of the people in the Survey Corps, the people whose livelihoods, whose very lives he's putting on the line with his greed. What's going to happen to Dennis Malory, I assume, is the same thing that's going to happen to Nicholas Lobov; nothing of consequence. Wealth has a funny way of insulating people from the consequences of their actions. No, Charles, the real question you should be asking is what's going to happen to you, and the answer to that is entirely dependent on where your loyalties lie…"
"Damn, they are good! I thought you were just exaggerating, Erwin!"
"I don't exaggerate." He frowned as the thugs swung even lower, seemingly heading for the underside of a bridge. No matter how skilled they may have been as Scouts, they would always be at a disadvantage, maneuvering in unfamiliar territory. "Cecile, Frey- follow them under. I don't want eyes off them for a second."
"You got it!"
It would have been wiser for all four of them to follow, in case they tried to spring a trap or attack them, but it was just as likely someone could have been hiding above, waiting to get the drop on them. It didn't seem to be a trap- in fact, having to swing so low forced the little gang to slow enough that the Scouts could quickly gain on them- The trio vanished suddenly, and Erwin had to quickly detach his right hook to turn in time to see them doubling back, zipping around a corner.
"Clever~" he hummed, catching back up with his squad mates. Frey glanced at him, pulling a face.
"Please stop smiling like that. I'm starting to get the feeling that you're just hunting these people for sport, Erwin…"
"Don't be ridiculous; they're no good to me dead."
"Is this some kind of weird sex thing?" Cecile groaned. "Like, you can only get it up when you're giving chase?"
"That's right- I'm rock hard as we speak."
"Fleeing this crazed pervert aside," Mike called out, his voice rose over the disgusted groans of the other Scouts, "where do you think they're leading us? Or is this just a wild goose chase?"
"I'd say the latter. In fact, I think it likely that they're going to try and split up soon to throw us off their trail. When they do, Cecile, you go after the redhead."
"Ugh, fine."
"And Frey? You take the blonde."
"Are we authorized to use force if they resist, Section Commander?"
"Non-lethal force. I cannot state enough that we need these people alive." Mike frowned back at him.
"You really think it's going to take two of us to take down that… little girl? Child? I can't tell from back here." Erwin sighed.
"Of course not; you know I would never doubt your abilities, Mike. I just want to witness this cat-and-mouse game to its conclusion."
"Leave me out of your gross sex stuff, Smith."
Just as he'd predicted, the trio broke off, the blonde and redhead turning sharply, heading off into adjacent alleys. Cecile and Frey took off after their marks, leaving the officers to pursue a single target. Glancing over their shoulder, the brunette untethered their hooks, plummeting like a stone. Fear caught in Erwin's throat as he watched the ground rise up to meet them, only for them redeploy their hooks and turn a corner, nearly clipping one of the buildings they squeezed between but their movements so precise and practiced that it was hard to believe that brush with disaster wasn't calculated down to the centimeter. By the time he and Mike rounded the corner after them, their target had vanished.
"Fuck! I blinked and lost them!"
"You didn't lose anyone, Mike. Where'd they go?" Grumbling under his breath, the older man inhaled quickly and deeply. Slate eyes narrowed as he gestured with his handle past a row of decrepit buildings.
"Somewhere on the other side of there. Smells like they took the long way around."
"You're sure?"
"Positive."
"Follow them the way they went. I'm going to cut them off." As Mike turned a corner, Erwin continued true.
Even if this area wasn't deserted, it was definitely less populated, quiet enough that, if he ignored the whirring and hissing of his own gear, he could hear the cracks as ultra-hard steel hooks pierced brick. Checking the alleys in between the buildings for any familiar bodies, he finally reached the back of the row, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end as a much louder crack, followed by a crash, filled the stagnant air. Gritting his teeth and squeezing his accelerators tighter, he prayed he hadn't just sent his friend into a trap.
Not a trap, just the captain on the ground, grappling with their dark-haired quarry amidst the remnants of a broken door. Maybe he simply wasn't used to fighting someone so much smaller than him, but Mike was clearly struggling to put the other person in a hold. Vertical maneuvering wasn't their only skill, as they used the blonde man's considerable weight against him, throwing him off and letting his momentum carry him headlong into the nearest wall. Scowling, Erwin locked a blade into his ODM handle- if he couldn't take these people alive without putting the lives of his fellow Scouts at risk, then the MP would get their execution.
Thankfully for all parties involved, now that they were on their feet, the petite criminal showed no desire to continue fighting. Getting a running start, they deployed a hook into the nearest building. It was too small for them to gain much altitude, allowing Erwin to intercept them, severing the cable and sending them colliding with the wall, only to crash back down to earth in a heap. 'Let's see how well you fly now, little bird...' Landing and retracting his own cables, he hazarded a glance at Mike, who was at least well enough to climb to his feet, groaning and rubbing his head.
"Ugh… you brought him down, Smith…?" Turning his attention back to the prone body before him, he took all of one step closer before noticing the hand he'd thought had been laying limp move towards a scuffed boot.
"No-" Acting on instinct, he brought his blade up as the shorter person lunged at him, something glinting in their hand and coming straight towards his throat. He should have been able to block it, easily- no knife was long enough to extend past the reach of their detachable blades. He did block it. He felt the shockwave of the force run down through his wrist.
A sharp "ping" was all the warning he got before the brittle steel snapped in half, flying past his head and leaving him open as the most bloodthirsty child he had ever borne witness to swung again, fully intending to slit his throat. He very well may have had Mike not jumped between them, grabbing the boy's over extended arm and twisting it away.
"Section Commander! Are you alright?!" Cecile rounded the corner as quickly as she could while dragging a kicking and screaming redhead behind her.
"Leggo, you bastard!"
"Don't waste your strength, Isabel…" The blonde man Frey led was far more subdued. If only the same could be said for the brunette. He still struggled against Mike's hold, and the alarming thing was, the taller man seemed to be having genuine difficulty keeping the blade in his hand at bay. Of course, he had just been injured, to what extent Erwin didn't know. Leveling what remained of his own blade at the boy's throat, he spoke in a low voice.
"Stop it. Look around you." It was difficult to tell if it was seeing his companions already in chains, or realizing that he'd have a much harder time escaping four soldiers with only one cable, but the boy finally stopped struggling, letting the knife he held fall to the ground.
"Section Commander?"
"We're fine. Bring the cuffs. You both did well."
~o0o~
Erwin wasn't willing to so much as turn his back on this aberrant person even after he'd ensured the manacles were locked and there wasn't a single weak link in the short chain that bound his wrists together. They'd stripped them of their gear, needing to bring it back to headquarters as evidence- he was curious what branch it had been stolen from- and patted them down to ensure there weren't any other hidden blades on their person.
Even with them bound, with no means of escape, he still didn't trust these birds not to have some plot with reinforcements, so he had his squad lead them to a more open area before even attempting to question them. It was clear they didn't appreciate being forced to kneel in the stagnant water and open sewage that collected in the divots of the uneven ground, but the threat of Cecile and Frey's blades kept their discontent limited to hate filled glares and irritated sighs. At least, from two of the three.
"Where did you get your gear? Did you steal it, or was it given to you?" Though he scanned all their faces, his attention was mostly focused on the dark-haired one who seemed to be the youngest, though there had been something other than hate in his eyes as he tried to slit Erwin's throat that spoke of more years than his face showed. "Your vertical maneuvering is excellent. I'm impressed, I mean that sincerely. Who taught you?" The redheaded girl, whom he had gathered was named "Isabel" couldn't stop the tiny quirk of her lips, but quickly screwed her face back into scowl. 'So honey doesn't work as well as I'd hoped…' He stepped in front of the brunette, though not close enough to get lunged at again.
"You're the leader, yes? You especially show more proficiency than I can say I've ever seen, even in the Survey Corps. Have you ever received military training?" The boy at his feet remained silent, lifting his head just enough to shoot Erwin the most hateful, murderous glare he'd ever been on the receiving end of. It sent a chill up his spine, the kind of tickle of fear he usually only got when staring down a Titan. "That is the face of a man who wants to murder me…"
"Maybe you shouldn't be so flippant about that, sir…" Frey muttered.
"No, it's perfectly understandable. I'd want to murder me too in this situation." Even though he kept his tone light, Mike made his way behind the small man, looking at Erwin for approval to act. "I'd like to avoid getting rough with you if we can-" Mike grabbed a fistful of black hair, slamming the boy's head to the ground with enough force that it was clear he hadn't taken being bested earlier very well. "-but if we can't, that's fine as well."
"You bastards! Let him go!"
"I'll ask again- where did you learn vertical maneuvering?" Turning his head to the side to glare up at the man standing over him, every one of the boy's ragged breaths sent ripples over the filthy puddle his cheek was pressed into. There were no answers in those cold gray eyes, only hate.
"We didn't learn it from anyone!" The girl screamed at him, fear bleeding into the anger in her voice. "You think we're gonna let a civil servant push us around?!"
"We figured it out ourselves!" The blonde corroborated her story. A cold cerulean gaze gave him a quick once-over, noting that while he didn't seem brimming with the same hatred as his companions, he was far too calm at the hands of armed soldiers to be some simple crook. He'd have to keep his eye on that one.
"Self-taught, you say? I don't buy it."
"It's the truth! You need an edge if you want to rise up even a tiny bit in a place like this. People who live their lives in the sun, never knowing actual suffering- like you- could never understand!" Well, he didn't doubt that. He turned his attention back to the remaining silent member of the gang.
"My name is Erwin Smith. What's yours?" Loathsome silence was his only response. A glance at Mike was all the taller man needed to adjust his grip, forcing their captive face down in the puddle. It was shallow, but it didn't take a lake to drown someone. To his credit, the dark-haired boy held out for a good while, but soon, the need for air had him struggling against his bonds, kicking out desperately. "That's enough." Scowling down at the thug, Mike redoubled his grip, pushing him further into the filth.
"Stop it! You're killing him!"
"Let him go!" True fear had taken over the other two, and Erwin raised his voice.
"Mike, that's enough." With obvious reluctance, he wrenched the boy's head back, letting him gasp and cough and retch. "I applaud your determination, but if you keep this up, we'll move on to your friends." Cecile and Frey moved forward, holding the other criminals' heads steady with one hand as they leveled their blades against their throats with the other.
"If you're gonna kill us, just do it already!" Isabel spat, her wide eyes belying her fear. "Do it!"
"You piece of shit…" The deep, sibilant whisper that cut through the air was so unexpected, Erwin found himself looking twice to see if it had actually come from the person in front of him. He was still spitting out the filthy water that he'd swallowed. "You fucking bastard…" 'So he is older than he appears…'
"Let's try this again; what is your name?"
"…Levi."
"Levi." Stepping forward, Erwin knelt, paying no mind to the filth soaking into his pants. Even on his knees, he towered over the other man, but it was as close to his level as he could reach without lying prone on the ground. "Why don't we make a deal, Levi?"
"What kind of deal?"
"The kind where you and your friends' crimes get swept under the rug, and in exchange, the three of you offer your services to the Survey Corps." Shaking his wet bangs from his eyes, Levi's steely gaze darkened.
"And if I refuse?"
"Then we turn you over to the Military Police. They're already down here, desperately hoping you will refuse." Climbing back to his feet, Erwin stepped back, a sardonic grin pulling at his lips. "They don't care for you much. If you're lucky, they'll give you a clean execution. If not, well… maybe I can pull some strings and get you all in adjacent cells. I won't make you do anything you don't want to, Levi. The choice is yours."
It was barely a choice at all, and if it had been only him, Erwin was certain this Levi would have chosen the Military Police just out of spite. It was clear from the way he kept glancing over at them that he truly cared for the other two members of his little gang. A weakness, and an easily exploitable one at that. He almost felt bad, speaking such cruel words so easily, but these were agents in cahoots with Lobov, and he'd be damned if he let anyone threaten the Survey Corps, no matter how sorry he felt for them.
"… fine. I'll join the Survey Corps." His grin widened, a bit more sincere.
"I look forward to working with you, Levi…"
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Even though the commander assigned their newest "recruits" to Squad Seven, all the paperwork to get them processed fell to Erwin. Levi had not deigned to give them a surname, but as Hange reminded him, it was possible that he just didn't have one. There were even people above ground, in rural villages, who didn't have surnames, so it seemed just as likely for those born in the Underground. It didn't matter, anyway- it wasn't as if Isabel Magnolia or Furlan Church were names listed in the official Register of Humanity.
When their identification papers finally came back from the Capital, he had handed them to the trio himself, despite that technically being Flagon's job. It wasn't that he pitied the other captain, having to deal with these… unique personalities. It was more manipulative than that, he'd admit it. They associated him with threats and violence, but Erwin wanted them to associate him with more pleasant things as well, and given the way Isabel's eyes lit up as she stared at the parchment, her name in bold letters beneath the Wings of Freedom, it was a safe bet to say that plan was working.
"Is this… citizenship…?" Furlan asked breathlessly, staring at his own. 'Oh, that's what you're after, is it…?'
"It's what counts as your citizenship. So long as you're a member of the Survey Corps, you'll have all the rights and freedoms as anyone born within these walls. If you desert, those rights will automatically be stripped away, and you will be hunted down and executed."
"Ha!" Isabel scoffed. "I'd like to see them try- OW!" Levi had given one of her pigtails a sharp tug to silence her. He alone remained unimpressed, folding the paper without so much as glancing at it and shoving it in his pocket.
"What rights? The right to be ordered around like dogs? To stay in this cage until you need us?" Frowning slightly, Erwin hooked his thumb into his belt loop.
"You are not unique, Levi. Every Scout follows orders and remains on base unless we are on an expedition, or it's your scheduled day off."
"Wait!" The young girl jumped up, her jaw somewhat slack. "We can just… leave? Like, go wherever we want?!"
"On your days off, and as long as you return to base before curfew, yes." It had been one of the few things he'd had to browbeat Shadis into allowing. The commander, as well as most of the other ranking officers within the Corps, were of the opinion that they should simply just lock these criminals in the cellar when they weren't training. Erwin understood their concerns- he'd moved his letter opener from his desk to under his pillow since their first night at headquarters.
"If we want them to behave as Scouts, we must treat them as Scouts. You can't rightfully expect a beaten dog to defend you…"
"I wanna go shopping!" Isabel cried out happily, her good mood immediately spoiled by Levi, who looked even more annoyed than before, if that were possible.
"You don't have any money, idiot."
"You'll all get a salary."
"What?"
"The Survey Corps is a job, the same as any other job. You'll be compensated for your work, no more or less than any new recruit. Don't expect to get rich, but you'll be able to go shopping by next month." Furlan chuckled slightly.
"I'll be honest, sir, I kind of thought you all just… volunteered to do this?" Erwin allowed himself a small smile.
"We all chose to join the Survey Corps because we want to ensure that humanity has a future both within and outside these walls. Unfortunately, lofty ideals don't fill ones' stomach."
"Damn straight!" It was the blonde man who tugged Isabel's hair to silence her this time. Noticing the section commander's quirked brow, he offered a nervous laugh and a salute… backwards, of course. 'Oh, Flagon must hate you…'
"I must be off- I have quite a bit of paperwork waiting for me. If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask your captain, or seek me out. I always have time to help new recruits." Levi's mouth remained closed, a thin line, but his eyes screamed all the hate and rage his small stature could contain.
~o0o~
Their next mission wasn't until July, four months away, and every waking moment in the meantime was spent training. It seemed overly cautious, but this was their first attempt at implementing Erwin's Long-Distance formation with the entirety of the Survey Corps' numbers, not just the squads in the rearguard. Everything had to go perfectly, and that meant every squad was going to have to rework the way they approached expeditions. Which was why they were heading to their little used base within Wall Rose, where the kilometers of open fields would allow them to do test runs. It was also why Erwin woke up early on his day off. He'd planned on heading to Shiganshina, and it would take him two hours just to get back to Trost.
The excitement of his novel discovery had since worn off, and now that life in the Survey Corps had all but returned to normal, so too did the stress and that pervasive melancholy that always seemed to overtake him late at night when he was putting the finishing touches on letters or forms. Reading and rereading Thomasin's letters only seemed to extend that feeling of distance between them. She had a life so far removed from anything he could relate to. The most mundane things, like buying one's' own groceries, felt completely foreign to him. How long would it be until he was no longer a point of interest for her and she moved on, wisely replacing him with someone who could afford to spend more than a few hours every other month or so with her? After all, wasn't that what Marie had done…?
Banishing those dark thoughts to the pits of Hell, along with every other niggling concern in his mind, Erwin made it all the way past the ferry dock before those concerns became too much to bear. Stepping out of the way of the other people, he glanced back, looking for… something. His gaze stopped at the wall just past the dock, frowning deeply as he noticed cracks branching out like spiderwebs from its almost perfectly smooth surface. It didn't come from the Garrison soldiers, he knew that much- they weren't even at their posts, probably passed out drunk under some bar. 'Oh, you miserable midget bastard…'
No one would be stupid enough to take ODM gear without authorization, and nobody would be ignorant enough to use it within district limits… other than someone who didn't know the rules, and didn't give enough of a damn to learn them. He'd honestly thought Levi would just break into his room one night and kill him in his sleep- there was a window right there. Of course, that would undoubtedly lead to suspicion. No, it was smarter to just sneak up behind him and slit his throat in some dark alley- that could easily be written off as a robbery gone wrong. There were nothing but dark alleys and isolated streets on the way to Thomasin's apartment.
He continued down to the main road. It wasn't as congested as, say, Ehrmich or even Trost, but there were still dozens of people walking in both directions. 'If you're going to waste my time, I'm going to waste yours…'
It was for the pettiest of reasons, but Erwin sincerely enjoyed whiling away his day off aimlessly wandering through Shiganshina. He wasn't worried about getting lost- there were plenty of people out to ask for directions, and hell, maybe he'd lose Levi somewhere along the way. Nothing would satisfy him more than that tiny bastard losing his bearings amidst the blinding sun and raucous din, but the thought of him growing ever more frustrated as he waited in vain for his target to move somewhere with less witnesses was also a pleasant one.
Any company would have been more enjoyable than the spectre of pint-sized death, but as he passed along the various storefronts and stalls hocking their goods, the person he truly wished was walking beside him was Thomasin. She probably knew many of these people, visited their stores regularly. She was probably at work, but given the position of the sun, it was likely she would be getting off soon. He battled with the urge to go to the apothecary and wait for her to get off. Maybe they could have dinner together in one of the taverns- she might enjoy not having to cook if he paid- and he could walk her home… and lead Levi right to her. Let him know where she worked, where she lived…
He was overreacting, Erwin told himself- retired or not, Thomasin was a soldier with years of combat experience. She had achieved two solo kills and four assists before being discharged; she could deal with some tiny stalker… but then again, this tiny stalker had tried to stab him with so much force that he'd managed to snap a newly forged ultra-hardened steel blade in half. No, however cruel, however selfish he could be, he couldn't put her in danger just because he wanted to see her. That didn't stop his thoughts from consistently looping back around to her, however, which was probably why he had been standing in front of the same stall in the bazaar for the last five minutes, staring down at the display laid out neatly before him.
Combs and necklaces and bracelets- dainty little things he'd never give a second glance to if he hadn't remembered May was only a month away. It wasn't the jewelry he was looking at- he'd never seen Thomasin wear anything, though he couldn't be sure if she didn't like it, didn't own any, or if it was just something left over from her military days. No, his eyes had been drawn to a white scarf with little daisies painstakingly embroidered around the border. Lightly pinching a corner, he rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger. High quality, nowhere near the silk or brocade women within Wall Sina draped themselves in, but good enough cotton that it was soft and light. Of course, he'd never seen Thomasin wear any kind of scarf but the thick, knitted ones that covered half her face in the winter, but in his mind at least, she would look nice in it.
"It's a beauty, isn't it?" He didn't jump, but Erwin did immediately draw his hand back.
"My apologies; I shouldn't touch your merchandise." He'd forgotten the owner of the bazaar was still standing there, he was so engrossed in his thoughts. The old woman had a grandmotherly air about her, but that didn't make him feel any better about those knowing green eyes staring at him as he mooned like a lovesick fool for god only knew how long. They reminded him of Lisa's, or what Lisa's would have looked like if she'd been allowed to grow old. The proprietor laughed, waving a wizened hand as if to physically brush off his apology.
"Nonsense. I can tell you're a man who expects the best quality. Looking for a gift for your wife, son?" He could keep his expression frozen in place, but he could do nothing to stop the heat creeping up his neck.
"She's… not my wife," he muttered.
"Would you like her to be~?" The shopkeeper laughed heartily, blissfully unaware of the painful jolt her words sent through his heart. 'I don't know… would I…?' Mentally shaking his head to clear those irritating, far too heavy thoughts away, Erwin sighed slightly.
"I was thinking of getting something for a friend's birthday, but I don't actually know what she likes… other than food and terrible books."
"Well, there are plenty of food stalls, and there's a rather cheap book store near the ferry port. But you stopped here for a reason."
"N-no, I didn't. I just…" The old woman raised a thin brow, prompting him to go on. He was half tempted to walk away to just avoid all this hassle, but really, how much of a coward did he have to be to run away from a little old lady who didn't know him, and who he'd probably never see again? "I saw this and thought of her…"
"Then I'm certain she would love it. Wouldn't you love a gift that made someone special think of you?" He smiled despite himself, the thought filling his chest with a comforting warmth. Chuckling under his breath, he pulled out his wallet.
"You have an amazing sales pitch, madam."
"Oh no, I'm just speaking with a woman's expertise. I had many a handsome young lad vying for my hand back in the day, and I've forgotten nearly all of them…" As he offered her the money, she gestured for him to set it on the table, pulling out a length of paper and a bright yellow ribbon. He tried to stop her as she wrapped the scarf, but she ignored him, still reminiscing.
"But I'll tell you, I still remember my Jack coming over covered head to toe in scratches and clutching a fistful of roses he'd filched from our neighbor's garden because he knew I liked the way they smelled. Believe me, son; it's the little things that you've already forgotten about that she'll remember the longest." She wasn't even looking at Erwin as she handed him the neatly wrapped package, such a wistful but ultimately happy look in her eyes. He ran a finger over the yellow bow.
"I hope you're right, madam…"
~o0o~
It wasn't until he became vaguely aware of the streets growing more congested that Erwin bothered to look up at the sky. The rich pink to indigo gradient with its underlit clouds looked like something he would expect to be framed and hanging in a nobles' foyer. If he caught the ferry now, by the time he got back to the Trost base, got his horse from the stables and rode all the way back to Wall Rose, he would just be skirting curfew. Sighing, he closed his eyes.
"Well, it's been fun, Levi, but we need to head back, so get down from wherever you are." He knew people were staring at him, he could feel their confused, somewhat frightened gazes prickling his skin. "I'm not going to tell you again, Levi. We need to catch the ferry. I can miss curfew- you can't." Still nothing. "You know if you get in trouble, your friends are also going to pay for it." Startled yelps as a cable pierced the weathered plaster of one of the homes. Erwin opened his eyes just in time to see the shorter man land lightly in front of him, glowering up at him.
"That isn't going to work every time, Blondie. You can't hold Isabel and Furlan over me forever…"
"Then I'll have to take advantage of it for as long as I can," he said lightly. "Let's go." Making sure to lead Levi through the most crowded streets, they made their way to the ferry port. "I take it you didn't pay for a ticket on the way here?"
"Why," the dark-haired man spat, "Because I'm Underground scum?"
"Because I would have seen you if you'd taken the time to actually pay. It's a pretty pitiful stalker who gets noticed immediately."
"No, you only noticed me when you got here… Why not say something sooner?"
"I thought maybe if you saw what a lovely place Shiganshina is, you'd get bored following me and go enjoy yourself."
"Yeah, you give a fuck about me…" Erwin paused, turning to face the other man.
"I do, in fact. When I joined the military, I made a vow to dedicate my heart to humanity. To give everything I had to ensure that the people within these walls will always have a future where they can be safe and happy. Believe it or not, that also includes you and your friends." Despite the warmth of the light reflecting in them, Levi's eyes only looked colder.
"I don't believe it."
"That's your choice. I'll pay for your ticket back."
"Don't bother. Anything charging a toll that's designed shittily enough to only have one point of entry deserves to get scammed."
"I said I'm paying for your ticket," he said coldly. "This isn't altruism for you to turn your nose up at. You are a soldier in the Survey Corps now, and your behavior reflects on all of us. I don't care what you do or say in private, but when you are in public, you will conduct yourself with the decorum befitting a Scout."
"And if I don't?"
"You're an intelligent man, Levi. Don't ask questions you already know the answer to." They walked in silence for a while longer, passing through the rows of homes and businesses until they could see the river glittering gold in the late day.
"So where were you going before you noticed me?"
"What makes you think I didn't go there?" Levi scoffed, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"I know what being led around as a distraction looks like."
"Oh, you are a good stalker."
"Is it whoever you bought that shitty scarf for?" The force of the indignation that shot through him gave Erwin pause. He glared down at the shorter man.
"I am not going to be insulted by the likes of you." Levi looked back up at him from under heavy lids.
"Sounds like you already are." There was something about his expression that reminded him uncannily of the way Thomasin used to look at him- utterly unenthused, barely paying attention but sharp enough to spot the tinniest chink in his armor and drive their barbed words straight into it. "So who is it? Lemme guess; your wife who's fucking some other guy while she waits for you to get eaten? Why not visit her? You scared of getting cucked? Or are you scared of me?" When he lowered his voice, it was even deeper, almost a growl down in his throat.
"Are you scared that if you lead me to her, I'll slit her throat the way I almost slit yours? I doubt that big ass fucker's gonna be around to save her…" Stopping fully, Erwin stepped in front of Levi, leaning over him, his broad shoulders casting the shorter man in shadow as he stared deep into those beady eyes.
"Should I be afraid of that? Is that what kind of person you are, Levi? The kind who slaughters innocent bystanders because he's too cowardly to go after his actual target? We have a word for people like that up here, Levi- we call them 'monsters', and we used to exile them beyond Wall Maria, because they're no better than the Titans." The dark-haired man's lips pulled back in a scowl.
"You're one to talk about monsters after the way you threatened Isabel and Furlan…"
"You're right." Straightening, he began walking, quite slowly as he waited for Levi to catch up. "I'm not a very good person. You should strive to be better than me." As the ferry came into view, he relaxed somewhat seeing that the deck was quite crowded. Pulling out his wallet once again, he paused, thinking. A bit of honesty wouldn't hurt.
"To answer your questions, no- she's not my wife, but a dear friend of mine. We were in the Training Corps together, and she joined the Survey Corps with me. And you're somewhat right- I didn't go see her because you were trailing me. It would be horribly rude to show up on her doorstep with a guest in tow without informing her beforehand."
"Then inform her next time. I wanna meet this former Scout with shitty taste."
"So you can use her as leverage against me?"
"That wouldn't accomplish anything." With the creaking of the massive boat and the lapping currents and the general din of the passengers, Erwin almost didn't hear the other man continue muttering under his breath. "I'm not a monster…" He would keep that in mind.
Just as he'd assumed, the stars were already shining brightly when they returned and curfew had already passed. Flagon was in a state, already primed to tear into Levi the moment he laid eyes on the shorter man, the other recruits hot on his heels. Erwin stepped in, assuring the other section commander that the fault was his, that he'd been showing their new recruit around the districts and time had gotten away from him… which was as accurate a description of what had actually happened as any.
"It's bad enough Shadis pawned these thugs off on me," Flagon grumbled under his breath, "Don't make my life harder than it is."
"We're twenty minutes past curfew on our day off, Flagon. Cut us some slack."
"Yeah! Cut 'em some slack!"
"Isabel, you're not helping…" The sandy-haired man groaned, reaching up to massage his temples.
"I hate you so much, Smith…"
"I know. I'm sorry." There were so many people who hated him that he was losing track.
Heading back to his room, he paused to look around. By the dim light of the moon, he could see nothing immediately out of place, so whichever one of them had snuck in was at least good enough to not throw his things everywhere. Probably Furlan, then- he could see Isabel making a mess just to spite him. Lighting a lamp, he began opening his drawers, each of them slowly and carefully, frowning as he noticed the coins he'd placed in each had almost all slid all the way to the back. Their little sneak had opened them in a hurry, wanting to search every possible location but not sure when he'd be back.
Closing all the drawers again, he sighed. There wasn't even any point checking anywhere else- he already knew everything had been scoured. As irritating as it was having his privacy invaded, it gave him a smug sense of satisfaction to know that he had wasted two peoples' time today. Setting the neatly wrapped package on his nightstand, he sat heavily on his bed and smiled. The day hadn't been entirely in vain.
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My dearest Thomasin,
It feels like it's been an age since we've spoken face to face. I wanted to visit you this month, but I'm afraid I got distracted. The most irritating little bird you can possibly imagine has been flitting around my head nonstop. It's going to drive me to madness, just you watch. It's also very aggressive, and unusually interested in you, a combination that does nothing to put my already overburdened mind at ease…
My dearest, Erwin
I want nothing in the world so much as to meet this vicious little bird of yours. I beg of you, please bring it with you next month. I'll ask Mr. Reed for the day off, and if he doesn't give it to me, I just won't come into work. I need to see this creature which has captured your attention so undividedly…
Erwin had spent far too long staring at that stupid comma, his mind racing and working much harder to solve a problem that probably wasn't actually anything than it should have. It was a mistake, nothing more. Unless… No, he was being stupid- he knew better than anyone how terrible Thomasin's handwriting could get when she was rushed or excited. …Unless… He cursed himself for both his cowardice and idiocy. If he hadn't been in such a rush to justify his absence, he could have spent the day with her in Wall Maria if she was that willing to take off work. Her birthday had only been two weeks ago.
But no, she was expecting a guest, absolutely adamant that he not come alone, which was why he was standing in front of her door with a very sullen Levi in tow. The shorter man looked as though he were struggling not to throw up as he looked around the landing while Erwin gave his usual three raps.
"You will be perfectly civil, do you understand me, Levi?"
"What if I'm not?" The blonde man leaned down to whisper in his ear as he heard a familiar gait approaching.
"Then I will pick you up and bodily hurl you off this balcony." Sharp gray eyes glanced at him, finding his expression deathly serious. "We'll see how well you fly without ODM gear…" He straightened as the door opened, his lips instinctively curving into a smile as Thomasin's beaming face came into view. "Hello, Thomasin."
"Erwin. Wherefore you stay so long away?" Her deep brown eyes immediately slid past him, landing on Levi and, much to his chagrin, she smiled even wider. "Ah. There he is. You must be Levi. Erwin has told me so much about you…" Levi's brows had drawn together, the corner of his lips turning down ever so slightly when he first laid eyes on the woman, a quizzical look that was immediately wiped away and replaced with distaste.
"Nothing but shit, I assume."
"No, he's been quite generous with his praise, actually. I'm Thomasin." She held out her hand. In response to her warmth, the dark-haired man grew even colder, glowering at her proffered hand as though it had personally insulted his mother. The dark woman's own smile dimmed ever so slightly as she pulled back her arm. "You don't shake hands. Got it."
"You don't want to shake my hand; I can do without your bullshit niceties."
"Levi…" Erwin whispered a warning, but Thomasin held up a hand to stop him, what remained of her smile gone now and replaced with a slight frown.
"What makes you think it's bullshit?"
"If Blondie's told you so much about me, then you know I'm from the Underground."
"Yes, he mentioned that. What of it?" Levi's eyes narrowed even further, carving deep lines that weren't usually there at their corners. Just how old was he?
"I'm supposed to believe that some surface dweller wants to touch filthy Underground scum? Gimme a fucking break…" Frowning deeper, Thomasin looked him up and down, ultimately shrugging.
"You look clean to me, but whatever." Pushing the door open further, she stepped back slightly. "Come in. I knew I'd be having company, so I tidied up last night."
"You never 'tidy up' for me…" Erwin muttered, only half joking as he followed the other man inside. She closed the door behind them.
"You just show up without warning, like a stray dog I made the mistake of feeding once."
Stepping into the room, the difference was immediately noticeable. While her little room had never been dirty, it certainly had a lived-in feel to it. That was one of the things Erwin loved about it. He liked seeing the books haphazardly piled next to her bed, the skirt she had worn to work tossed over the back of the chair, the cutting board and knife on her counter still damp from whatever she had been chopping before he got there. Sitting amongst those mundane little details made him feel as though he were a part of them. With everything folded and put away all neat and tidy, it felt like stepping into his old shared room in the barracks…
"Sit wherever." The words had barely left her lips before Levi dropped into the closest chair, running his fingers under her table and scowling at the dust that coated them.
"If this is your idea of clean, it leaves a lot to be desired."
"Levi, that's enough."
"No, it's fine. He's entitled to his opinions, no matter how wrong they are. I'll make tea." Before she could move towards the already whistling kettle, Erwin gently guided her towards the table, his hands just barely touching her shoulders.
"I'll make it." Leaning lower to her, he spoke in a low voice. "You wanted to see this little bird so badly, well, here you go." Reaching back, she flicked his cheek, but still limped over to the table. He'd seen her prepare drinks enough times that he knew fairly well where she kept most things, pulling three cups from the cabinets that framed the open window. The warm air was perfumed with dried laurel and rose hips. He moved as quietly as he could, ears trained on the conversation behind him.
"So, Levi, how's the Survey Corps treating you?"
"It's shit and I hate it."
"It is kind of awful, isn't it? They had better food in the Training Corps, if you can believe it."
"All this 'for humanity' and 'dedicate your heart' bullshit is getting on my nerves." That didn't surprise Erwin in the slightest. What did surprise him was Thomasin's response.
"It does start coming across as disingenuous after a while… After a few weeks, that mask the veterans all wear around you starts to crack, and you start getting the feeling that they just don't want to admit that they've made a mistake joining…" He had grabbed the wooden box she kept her not-tea in, but hadn't opened it, frowning as he stared past the cups. She'd never told him that was how she felt about the Survey Corps… He'd known since they were cadets that she thought the idea of going beyond the wall and facing Titans was foolish, but "disingenuous"? A "mistake"? Maybe she was just lying, trying to get Levi to open up, but to what end? He certainly hadn't asked her to do that. A snapping behind him pulled him from his thoughts.
"Hey! Where's my tea, boy? If I'd known you were going to take this long, I'd have made it myself." Quickly spooning in the dried flowers, he poured boiling water over them, the familiar scent that bloomed from them calming him somewhat.
"Snapping at your server is a good way to get someone to spit in your drink…" She craned her head back to look up at him as he set a cup in front of her. Her eyes looked so large from this angle. Even staring up her nose, he was amazed by how pretty she was.
"Did you spit in this?"
"Maybe." He didn't look away until she did, lowering her head with a slight frown.
"Well, joke's on you, Smith- I've drunk more disgusting things than spit before." A revolted fascination welled up inside him as he grabbed the other two cups, setting one in front of Levi. The other man's lip twisted into a repulsed sneer.
"You think I'm gonna drink this after you were just talking about spitting in it?"
"You weren't the one snapping at me, so I don't know what you're worried about. I think you'd be able to see a giant gob of saliva floating in a cup that shallow, but if you trust me that little, I'll drink it." Thomasin sat on her stool as usual, but Erwin noticed that another chair had been placed at the table, in the spot he usually sat. Taking his seat, he angled himself to stretch out his long legs without kicking any of the feet under the table. "Well, Levi? Was this worth wasting your day off last month?"
He was beginning to think it unwise to hand him a cup of scalding hot liquid. The way the other man glared at him, Erwin was about forty percent positive that tea was going to end up hurled in his face if he let his guard down for even a second. Holding the bright blue gaze of his enemy a moment longer, Levi turned his attention back to the woman who had been watching the two of them as if their interactions were high theater.
"Blondie says you were in the Survey Corps with him. What happened; you fuck up and cut your own leg off?"
"No, but that's funnier, so I'm probably going to say that from now on. I just jumped in a Titan's mouth like an idiot."
"Was it worth it? Ruining your life just to go beyond the walls?" Her lips continued smiling, but all the amusement left her eyes, that glazed over look from so many years ago returning. Thomasin stared into her cup, seeing something far away from the flowers that settled at the bottom.
"…I don't know." Her voice was quiet, far too close to that unenthused drone Erwin remembered.
"Thomasin, you don't have to answer every one of his insipid questions. Levi may have forgotten, but he's your guest…" He glared at the shorter man, disgusted to see a glint of something that looked like satisfaction in his otherwise emotionless eyes. Like snapping out of a dream, Thomasin's expression brightened as she brushed off his concern.
"It's fine, Erwin. He deserves to know that being a Scout isn't all honor and freedom. In fact, it's not that at all…" She turned her attention fully to Levi, that cheerful look leaving her face entirely as her lips tilted down ever so slightly at the corners. "Being a Scout is a miserable, wretched, thankless experience, and everyone in the Survey Corps is some varying combination of insane, and so brave that I honestly don't know how I managed to fool them into thinking I was one of them for three months. I hated every second of it, and I hate the fact that I'm proud that I actually survived as long as I did. I should have died on my first mission. I never thought about the world outside the walls, I just wanted to join the Garrison…" She sounded so exhausted, as though just remembering her time in the military was as unpleasant as actually living it. Maybe it was a trick of the light, but Levi's frown seemed a little less frigid.
"Then why didn't you? Did some blonde jackass threaten to throw you and your friends in prison if you didn't join the Corps?" With a little affronted gasp, Thomasin threw an indignant scowl at Erwin. He grabbed his cup, taking a sip now that it had steeped long enough.
"I gave him a choice."
" 'Do what I want or I'll punish you' isn't a choice; it's what your landlord says to make you have sex with him!" She rolled her eyes at the obvious horror on his face. "Not my landlord, you blonde jackass…"
Loathe as he was to admit it, Erwin wasn't regretting bringing Levi with him as much as he had originally. He still stayed on guard, never once letting his gaze stray from the shorter man for more than a few seconds, but he'd endured less pleasant conversation with less pleasant company. Granted, everything the other man said to him was some manner of insult or thinly-veiled death threat, but he seemed almost… civil towards Thomasin. Of course, "civil" was relative- he swore up and down, and couldn't go longer than a few seconds without an insult, but she clearly found them more amusing than hurtful.
Thomasin seemed to form an immediate rapport with Levi, perhaps owing to their shared disdain for the military, the Military Police in particular. It had taken years before she'd spoken so openly with him. Erwin would die a thousand deaths before admitting he was jealous of some tiny crook he'd plucked from the Underground, so he pushed that awful feeling down where the only way he felt it was as a sharp pain in his stomach. Instead, he allowed himself the indulgence of watching all the little shifts in her expression, the way her lips pursed when she was trying not to laugh, or the tiniest furrows that formed on her forehead when she heard something she didn't like.
Maybe she wasn't smiling at him, but wasn't this what he wanted? Just for her to smile and not look as miserably bored as she had when they were young? And if commiserating about the military with someone who hated it as much as she did made her happy, who was he to take that away from her? As the hours passed and he was expected to contribute to the conversation less and less, Erwin shifted to let his head rest on the table. He was still keeping a close eye on Levi, muscles poised to leap up if the other man so much as suggested he was going to make a single wrong move.
But even as he remained on high alert, he allowed himself to relax ever so slightly. The arm he wasn't using as a cushion stretched out across the table, reaching all the way to the other side, his thumb almost brushing against Thomasin's pinky as her own hand sat beside her cup. He could feel her warmth, although maybe that was from the tea. Just a twitch, and he'd be able to stroke the soft skin where cool sepia faded into a warm cream. But just like the irritating little birds that woke him up at the Wall Rose base, Levi's voice cut through his peaceful dream.
"So, you're Blondie's whore, right?" Erwin straightened immediately, nearly knocking his own mostly empty cup over. He was two seconds away from grabbing this foul-mouthed child by the scruff and throwing him through the far too small window until an uproarious laugh filled the tiny room. Thomasin wheezed, both arms wrapped around her stomach as she squeaked out the kind of breathless laughter that only came from true hilarity.
"Ow, my stomach… Where'd that come from? How do you even come to that conclusion?" Levi shrugged, leaning slightly on the table and acting as if he didn't notice the taller man glaring daggers at the back of his head.
"Seems obvious. Who's stupid enough to constantly be reminded of a time in their life they hate without getting paid for it?"
"You think I'd be living in a piss-soaked hovel like this if I were a whore?"
"Didn't say you were a good one…" As her laughter died, she glanced at Erwin, managing one more amused huff before turning back to Levi.
"No, I'm not his type. He likes them tiny and blonde, or so I hear…" The shorter man scoffed.
"You don't know much about men. Any hole's a goal."
"Alright, I've had just about enough of you-" Before his temper could flare up any further, a soft hand covered his own, freezing him. He looked over to Thomasin, his heart lurching painfully as she smiled at him. What was she…? She wasn't-
"Can I keep him, Erwin? Please say yes."
"No thanks. I can barely stomach being in this piss-soaked hovel for as long as I have…"
Erwin had never been so ready to leave what had once been his safe haven away from the burdens of the Survey Corps. Levi somehow compressed all those burdens into something so dense, he could feel himself age faster the longer he spent in his presence. They stood in the doorway as Thomasin bid them wait, limping over with a familiar basket in her free hand, a set of glass jars clinking softly with her uneven steps.
"Here." She handed it to Erwin. "One is for Mike-" she pronounced it as "Myke", smirking as his lips twisted in distaste, "-one is for Levi, and two are for you to share with your squad." The short man in question scowled at her.
"I don't want your shitty food. Given how filthy this place is, it'd probably give me diarrhea." Thomasin leaned against the wall of the narrow hallway, dissolving into a fit of giggles that were almost enough to quell Erwin's desire to smash one of the jam jars directly onto Levi's skull. Instead, he pushed the other man out onto the balcony.
"You heard the ungrateful gremlin; he doesn't want your delicious jam. I'll keep it." Those sweet giggles stopped at once.
"No the fuck you won't, Erwin Smith. You barely fit in my house as it is, you giant ox. One of those is for Mike, and one is for Levi, and you let him have first pick."
"Goodnight, Thomasin."
"God help you if you get any bigger the next time I see you!"
"Goodnight!"
As he and Levi made their way back to headquarters, the dark-haired man surprised him by breaking the silence that had almost been approaching comfortable.
"You didn't throw me off the balcony. Threats lose their meaning when they aren't carried out."
"You're lucky Thomasin finds you amusing." Levi scoffed, and they both continued walking in silence for a while.
"I know she's not your whore." A thick brow raised.
"Really now?"
"Yeah. You going off to fuck some woman- that'd be too normal. No reason to be so secretive about something so mundane…" The shorter man looked up at him, those dead eyes even more disconcerting in the growing dark. "She's your little wifey."
"We're not married," Erwin reminded him coolly.
"No. Because that'd be too normal, too. Too normal for some kind of freak like you. So you go over there and pretend. Pretend that squalid shack is your home, and that gimp is your loving wife who's happy to see you after a long day at work. And she makes you tea, and maybe cooks for you, and listens to you bitch and moan, all with that shitty fake smile plastered on her face… then you go back to base and jerk off in your cold, lonely bed. And you'll keep doing that until she gets sick of you and finds someone who's man enough to actually fuck her instead of just staring at her like a goddamn pervert." Erwin shook his head, disappointed.
"That's the best you can come up with?"
"Tell me I'm wrong."
"You're wrong."
The silence remained unbroken until they returned to base, thankfully before curfew this time.
"Well, that was deeply unpleasant. I hope you understand that I never want to see your face on my day off again." As he turned to leave, something jerked his left arm back. Turning saw Levi holding one of the handles of the basket, glaring up at him. "Let go."
"One of these is mine." Erwin returned the shorter man's glare with interest.
"You said you didn't want it."
"I don't." Glancing down at the basket for a split second, he pulled out a jar filled with a deep, thick red paste, dotted with tiny yellow seeds throughout. "But Isabel will eat anything." Releasing the basket, he turned on his heel, stalking off in the direction of the recruits' barracks.
Objectively, he knew he should be happy Levi was opening up, even just the tiniest degree. If he really did give that jam over to his friends, there was a chance he'd tell them where he'd gotten it from, even if he just said "some gimp". That might endear them to the people who lived within the walls, maybe just a little bit, and maybe it would inspire them to empathize with the Survey Corps' goal just a little bit as well.
All of that would be excellent for his plan, and he should have been happy… yet all the jealousy that Erwin had successfully tamped down throughout the day came bubbling back up to the surface, mixing with the anger and disgust he felt for both Levi and himself until it nearly made him nauseous. Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply, aware of his heart beating erratically with every exhale. Such petty emotions had no place in his life. Pushing them all back down, he headed towards the mess hall. His friends would undoubtedly be even more ruthless with their mockery than Levi had been, but he welcomed their familiar jabs and taunts, and the warmth and love those insults carried in them.
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A/N- I LOVE LEVI SO MUCH! He's so fun to write! What a great chapter to post on my birthday!