A/N: There you go. A new chapter. I wanted to thank everyone for commenting and favouriting/following this story. I was very pleased the story was well received.
This story is beta'd by the amazing HPuni101
o.O.o
Chapter One, Deja Vu
Chapter One, Deja Vu
After waking up in this world, I spent almost a week cooped up at Elena's home, before I was finally convinced this — whatever this was — was not a dream but my new twisted reality. I'd needed almost a week of psychological battle with myself to admit nothing would change. That, yes, I was stuck in a television show. Stuck in Elena's Gilbert's body.
Worse, no one seemed to realise I wasn't their Elena. That I wasn't Grayson's and Miranda's adoptive daughter or Jeremy's adoptive sister (cousin really). And honestly, I had no intention of telling them either. Even in this world where the supernatural roamed free, body snatching was a bit of a stretch. I doubted it would go over well and had no desire to be admitted into a hospital.
As for not giving away, I was someone else, I'd gone to ignoring every one of Elena's friends and her boyfriend, or should I say, ex-boyfriend. They thought I had a really bad case of the flue (while Grayson thought I was on the verge of a hefty depression or a break-down; he wasn't that far off with the latter) and I managed to keep every concerned face at a distance.
Miranda checked up on me every night, even once when I had finally managed to relax taking a bath, but at least they seemed content I wasn't planning on trying to slit my wrists with a razor or trying to drown myself for that matter. I had considered slapping myself and pinching myself until I would wake up from this bizarrely vivid dream, but— well that hadn't done much good.
Every morning for the past week, I woke up, hoping to see my small bedroom with the two indoor closets, the small rickety desk and the single bed I was most familiar with, yet instead, the room remained the way it was on the television show. The painting above the bed, the white desk next to the window the rocking chair with the teddy bear Damon would toy with, the indoor closet with clothes I'd never owned before—
Every morning, I woke up disappointed. Yes, the series had been entertaining. But that didn't mean I wanted to be the one living this life. That didn't mean I wanted to date two vampires who were obsessed with Elena Gilbert. Whose obsession was so strong no one else mattered. I didn't want to be in the middle of a war between the Salvatore brothers and whoever had the audacity to come in between. But then again, the full-blown obsession might not come to fruition, since I had no, absolutely no, intention of dating either one of them. Although, I might have to put up with their stalking.
I breathed out harshly, wiping the back of my hand along my damp forehead. The heat of the day had forced me out of the bedroom and into the backyard. Miranda and Grayson were quite happy that I'd left my stuffy room (the sweltering heat gave me little choice), dressed in a bright white two-piece, dug out from the back of a drawer, and stretched out on a bright blue Adirondack chair in the Gilberts' backyard. I hoped it would give them rest of mind that no, I wasn't going to jump off the roof or stand in front of a moving bus.
I certainly wasn't planning on killing me, because well, it was doubtful that would solve my current problem. Honestly, I wasn't that suicidal. At least, I wasn't yet.
Rolling over to my side, I stared at Elena's old-fashioned BlackBerry and tapped the screen. I had found her cell phone, wet but surprisingly functional after two days in a bowl with rice, but that had told me little about the old Elena beside being a party girl.
I had found her journal and learned about the things she liked, the blogs she followed and the people she enjoyed or not enjoyed. I learned about her aggravation with Caroline's jealousy, her adoration of Bonnie and her motherly antics. However, besides the people that had been regularly featured in the series, I had no idea who half of them were. I vaguely recalled the Dana Elena wrote about, who was dating Chad and was apparently very much into public displays of affection, but I had no idea who Kiki was supposed to be or why she and Bonnie had some kind of rivalry going on.
Drawing my leg up I fingered the sunglasses, pushing them further up the bridge of my nose and dared a fleeting glance at the house. The first day after getting stuck into this body, I had snooped through the house, had rummaged through the kitchen cabinets and peered around the living room. I wasn't even sure what I hoped to find, but I certainly hadn't found it.
The following days, I'd expanded my search and by now was quite sure where everything was. I knew how the coffeemaker worked and had figured out how to work the television and the DVD-player, but I had learned little, if absolutely nothing, about how to fix my situation. The one positive thing I'd found was a sprig of Vervain. I could have cried when I noticed the purple plant in the back of a drawer in Grayson Gilbert's office and had stuffed it in a silver medallion I'd found in Elena's jewellery box and wore it as a beacon to ward off any vampires. I knew I would need it. Doppelgänger, vampire-magnet and all-around endangered species Elena Gilbert needed it.
Breathing out loudly, I curled and uncurled my toes, carting the long, dark, damp hair out of my face. The sun was bright above me, but at least, my face was slightly hidden in the shade from the surrounding trees and I blinked, resting my right hand on my stomach. The skin was warm from the sun and still a shade darker than mine used to be, but no less protected against sunburn, if the painful heat was any indication. I sat up slowly, upending a bottle of suntan on my awaiting palm and massaged the milky liquid into my skin, peering at the house.
Jenna Sommers (Aunt Jenna) stood in the kitchen by the window, her eyes flickering my way every so now and then and I puckered my lips in irritation. Miranda and Grayson had gone grocery shopping (thank the Gods they'd finally left me alone for a change), while Jenna was supposed to look after me. Or as she said, to hang with me.
She certainly wasn't trying to hang with Jeremy who had locked himself up in his room to— well, what fourteen-year-old boys did alone in their room. I grimaced at the memory of realising what fourteen-year-old boys did in bathrooms when unsuspecting older sisters wandered in to use the loo. I don't know for whom that had been more embarrassing, but since then, I knocked three times or made a lot of noise whenever I neared the bathroom door.
"Want something to drink, kid?" Jenna asked. I hadn't even noticed her coming outside and I flinched awkwardly. She was standing beside me, rolling on the balls of her feet and I peered at her over the rim of my sunglasses. In the series, Elena had loved Aunt Jenna. The cool aunt who was both as much a big sister as she was a friend and I— I had no idea how to act around her.
"Aunt Jenna," I whispered, then flushed, embarrassed I was staring at her as if she'd grown a second head. "Oh, something to drink? Yeah, sure."
"You're really feeling a bit out of it, aren't you?" She asked, settling on the edge of my chair and ran a hand through the thick straight hair I'd pulled up in a high ponytail. "You know you can talk to me, right?"
"I know."
"If something happened during the party…"
"No, it's— I can't really explain," I replied, laughing nervously. Did she think I was—
"You know, that right?"
"I'm really okay, though, Jenna."
"Okay," she smiled, tucking a lock of strawberry-blonde hair behind her ear, "just remember, you can talk to me about this."
"I will," I replied, and my smile became a tad more genuine.
Sweat was beginning to slide down the nape of my neck, settling between my collarbones. The air was hazy with humidity and the sun burned down on my skin. I pushed the matching white sunglasses up more comfortably and stared at the sky. Dappled flecks of sunlight were streaming in through the trees at the side, shading the right side of my face and I crossed my legs at the ankles, settling back comfortably in the chair. The sudden heatwave had come so quickly it had taken everyone by surprise, the sun so hot, it was blurry around the edges when you tried looking at it.
"Here you go." Jenna grinned offering me a cold glass of lemonade.
"Thanks."
"So, how is your school sickness fairing?"
I snorted, "Wonderful. It's still going strong."
"You did find great weather for a week off, I give you that," Jenna said and I smiled, figuring she would understand.
Jenna Sommers had been a drug user. I remembered her telling Jeremy once she could eat her weight in nachos with guacamole after using, so how far of a stretch would it be if she skipped school so now and then.
School— High school, I thought Elena was starting Junior year in September— how horrendous. I probably should have gone off to classes, but honestly, what was the point? I had gone through high school already. Had graduated, and although I supposed some tests would still be difficult (I wasn't a star at calculus or science), it shouldn't be impossible, right? Then again, who knew what was different in this fictional world? Perhaps, the laws of gravity were entirely different (the laws of fiction and non-fiction certainly were) or the wars fought before hadn't been fought in this. I should probably start Googling local history if I wanted to fit in more.
"Elena?"
"Hm?"
"The weather? How great it was while you had your week off?" She repeated.
"Right, yeah, the weather certainly was a bonus point," I mumbled, and Jenna laughed heartily.
"And all because of a boy, Elena?"
"Hm," I retorted. At least, she didn't seem to think someone had forced himself on me anymore.
"Perhaps we can go into town later?"
"Hm?" I sat up again. Going into town— perhaps not the worst idea. If I was to live as Elena Gilbert, if it was or wasn't temporary, I didn't know, but if I was to live like her, I should know how to navigate through this town. I should know where the closest supermarket was or how I could get from this house to the local high school. Sophomore year hadn't finished yet and I supposed I owed it to Elena to keep notes of her classes and not disrupt her personal life when I was at it. "I— yes, I guess I would like that." Blowing my hair out of my face, tousled and wild from the humid weather and sweat, I grinned. "I would really like that."
"Look at that. She is excited."
"Very."
"Good." She grinned. "After dinner. We call it a date."
I laughed genuinely at that and nodded before frowning. "Do you think you can drop me off at Matt Donovan's house?"
"Sure. Does Kelly still live at Harrison Street?"
"Erm," I had no idea. I hoped so. "Yes."
"Going to break up with him?"
"It would be the fairest thing I could do."
Jenna nodded at that. "Yes, if you don't love him, it would."
The sky was flush in pastel pinks and violets, gradually settling into molten gold as the sun sank beneath the treetops. It was going to be an unusually hot evening, the sticky heat lingering outside and permeating the air inside.
Miranda and Grayson Gilbert didn't seem to mind when they returned (their shopping having taken unusually long, and I wondered if they had some kind of secret council meeting too). I helped to unload the groceries in the kitchen, forcefully relaxing my muscles when Grayson jokingly pushed me. He meant no harm, I knew that, but after a short week with unknown people, I was still a bit wary.
"Jenna and I wanted to go into town tonight," I said, storing the box of cereal in the cabinet closest to the fridge. "Is that all right? I think it would be good for me."
"Of course," Miranda answered, looking as pleased as a child.
"Be back by ten." Grayson agreed and turned to Jenna. "We want normality back—"
"Not the party girls, yeah, Gray, I know." Jenna cajoled and beckoned me along. "Come on, Elena."
"Girls night?" I asked jokingly and she grinned. She really wasn't fit being someone's guardian.
"You got it."
She grinned in that carefree way of hers and I was extraordinary thankful for her presence then, following her outside. Her red Mini Cooper smelled heavily of pod and I must have scrunched up my nose for she gave me a mischievous smile.
"Smoke a lot of pot?" I asked and shifted in my seat, picking up what looked like a nacho.
"Hm, hm," she agreed, and I waved the triangles shaped chip through the air.
"I love nachos." She admitted finally and backed the car out of the Gilberts' driveway. "Especially when I'm high. Did you know I could eat my complete bodyweight in school when I was high?"
I snorted, "I know now."
"Yeah," she smiled, "but with my thesis looming— little time."
"Right. How far are you now?"
"I'm writing a proposal. It's difficult."
"Hm," I agreed, "wait until you're writing the actual thing. Advisors are bitches."
"Oh, are they now?" Jenna returned amused and I nodded. I would know.
"Yes," I agreed seriously, my eyes long since averted from the road, "Especially once they want you to change something and then when you do they bitch about it again and want you to change it back. Writing a thesis is the worst."
"You sound like you know about it."
I realised my mistake then and shrugged. "People talk."
"Well, you're not wrong." She agreed, gearing the car up the sidewalk and smiled. "There we are."
"Yeah, thanks," I mumbled. I was seriously regretting this now and twisted my fingers the hem of my summer dress, feet nervously twitching.
The Donovan house was close to the road, their lawn was overgrown with creepers and their grass too tall. The roof was nearly as green as the grass and beneath an adjoined carport Matt's truck was parked, looking exactly as I remembered. Old and rusty. I felt my breath quicken and I must have made a sound since Jenna reached forward, taking my hand in hers and squeezed it.
She must have noticed the trepidation on my face and her smile was wide and sympathetic, "Hey, you'll be fine."
"He'll hate h—me."
"Remember what Miranda said, you'll be setting him free."
"I'll hurt him."
"Elena."
I nodded, inhaled deeply and threw the door open: "Okay. Thank you for driving me."
I slammed the car door behind me and crossed my arms beneath my breasts, inhaling deeply. My comfortable sneakers crunched briskly across the cobblestones towards Matt's home and my heart started to beat faster the closer to the front door I came. Perhaps he'd seen me coming, perhaps he'd even been expecting me. Was I following the script? Was I already acting exactly as Elena would have? I didn't think so, but I wondered all the same. Either way, when I lifted my hand to knock, the door flew open.
Matt Donavan hovered against the doorframe, a strained smile on his face. He looked younger than I remembered from the show and yanking at a loose thread on the summer dress I'd quickly put on, I tried to give him a small comforting smile (pretty sure I failed at doing that).
"Hi, Matt—" I started awkwardly, and his face fell. I regretted my choice immediately and wondered if turning around and running away was an option. It wasn't was it?
"Elena?"
"Hi—" I echoed again and tightly twirled a lock of hair around my index finger, "We need to talk."
"Oh," he mumbled, stepping further outside and gazing through the street, looking pallid, "sure."
We sat down on the grass, just out of sight of Jenna's car and I wrapped my arms tightly around my knees. It was familiar and at the same time disturbingly foreign. I'd seen their awkward behaviour in the series, I'd watched Matt Donovan stare after Elena and care for her, and yet, now he was looking at me like that. I might look like her, but I wasn't.
"So—"
"I feel like you know…"
"Please, Elena, I still believe in us." He whispered.
His right hand moved and gently cupped my jaw and my stomach twisted. I was about to break his heart and it wasn't actually my fault. I breathed in harshly and gently curled my hand over his.
"I care for you," I started, smiling sadly, "I do, I love you. You know that, but I need some time. Perhaps a lot of time. Time to figure out in what way I really love you."
He looked so hurt I almost backtracked on my words, almost told him I did love him, and this was all some flux, but— I couldn't. First, I didn't know this boy, nor did I have the history with him Elena obviously had. Second, it would be morally wrong to continue a relationship with someone who thought I was someone else. In a way, I figured that was similar to compelling someone to love you like the vampires in the show so often did. It was wrong and although I was no saint, I would never do that.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered pursing my lips, "I just couldn't lie to you. It wouldn't be fair."
"It's okay, Elena." He muttered.
I didn't think it was, but I carefully placed a hand on his shoulder and, acting on instinct, hugged him. He held on to my tightly his breathing hard and heavy and when I let go of him, his eyes had suspiciously reddened and another stab of guilt ran down my spine. I decided not to mention it, couldn't mention it. His eyes flickered to my lips and I smiled tightly pressing my hand against his cheek, making sure he could not move in if the mood would strike him. I shouldn't have worried, he jerked up to his feet, holding out his hands to pull me up as well. He was a good guy like that.
"I should probably go." I smiled tightly again. "Jenna is waiting. See you at school?"
"You're coming back this Monday?"
"Yes." I agreed, for until I figured out what I should do about this situation, I had nothing else to do.
It was the first a real smile blossomed on his face: "Okay. Yes, I'd like that."
I returned the smile. I think, even if he didn't want to accept it yet, his relationship with Elena was over. I might have only asked for some time, but Matt wasn't stupid. I could tell he knew what I was really asking. I knew he did, even if his mind wasn't completely understanding the implications yet.
"Bye Matt."
I turned to the car quickly, using every bit of willpower to stop myself from running, but couldn't quite stop myself from diving onto the passenger's seat, bucking my belt in and giving Jenna a wide-eyed glance. She started the car without a word and steered it away from the Donovan house. I breathed out a grateful sigh…
To be continued...
A/N: And here is the 'first' chapter. 'Elena' has to start all over again in a new world, a new life and it will be a struggle. Obviously, she couldn't remain in a relationship she has no memory of. Also, Elena's body is not her own. Ethically, she feels it's wrong to start or continue a (physical) relationship with someone she does not really know. Besides, Elena breaking up with Matt happened in canon as well. Perhaps, it happened a bit differently now (I don't know, we never learn the exact words or place). As for the storyline, obviously several parts will extremely different (with a different protagonist and Elena's parents not having gotten into an accident), but Stefan's and Damon's further interference in the story will only start from the third chapter or so. At least, their corporal interference that is. I'm pretty sure Stefan Salvatore did stalk Elena after he saved her from the car crash, learning enough of her to instate himself in her life once he 'officially' met her. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Stefan, I don't, but he did stalk her in the months after her parents' death. As did Damon—
Which is also (another reason), why I'm not sure which couples will end up together. Anyway, thank you for putting up with me and leave me your thoughts. I would love to hear them.