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Ch.21- "Crimson"
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The rural villages north of Trost looked as peaceful as they had two years ago, as though the horror and turmoil of the south never reached them. The men chopping wood and the women foraging through the frozen undergrowth would stop and stare curiously as they rode down trails that clearly saw little more than foot traffic, but quickly grew bored of the sight of soldiers and returned to their lives.
That was how it would be in most of the isolated regions Erwin and his small entourage passed as they made their way to each region's Training Corps base. It was still early in the year, too early for graduation, but times were desperate. They hadn't even been given two weeks warning, a sweaty, red-faced MP showing up at base so early ten days ago that they ran into Erwin as he was just leaving the mess hall, saluting and handing him a letter sealed with a neat dot of red wax, stamped with the royal crest of all things…
"A summons from Colonel Aleister, sir!" they panted.
"A summons for what?" Surely those fools in the Assembly weren't thinking of having him court martialed for not acting fast enough?
"I don't know, Commander. All I was told was that it was imperative that I reach you as quickly as possible. I've been riding nonstop for hours…"
Once back in his office, he slit the envelope neatly, his unconscious frown as he read the neatly slanted script growing into an ever darkening scowl with every line he scanned. Nostrils flaring, he reread the letter and reread it once again, crumpling it with one fist once he was certain he had not misunderstood its meaning and grabbing his dress coat, storming from the room and calling for Mike to meet him at the ferry port in twenty minutes. The fact that his lieutenant's only question upon stepping onto the deck was "Where're we going?" was precisely why Erwin had appointed him his second-in-command in the first place.
"The capital." If the older man was concerned over his commander's heavy breathing, or the way he gripped the ferry's railing so tightly his nails dug faint gouges into the wood, he kept those concerns to himself, an ever-silent sentinel following two steps behind as Erwin all but stormed into the chancellery where the Assembly was already gathered and waiting. Lord Clemons had the audacity to give him a sycophantic little smile.
"Ah, Commander Erwin. Your punctuality is greatly appreciated-"
"Is this some kind of twisted joke?" The young commander brandished the still-crumpled letter at the men. Colonel Aleister gave his fellow Assembly members a sidelong glance and muttered under his breath, though still loud enough for Erwin to hear.
"I told you he'd react like this…"
"Hush, Gerald." A reedy man in a simply cut, but clearly expensive suit, waved off the colonel. "I'm certain Commander Smith is just a bit confused…"
"I certainly hope I am." Erwin stepped forward, his fist balled so tight around the abhorrent letter that his hand visibly shook. "Do you truly intend to send civilians beyond Wall Rose?!"
"I thought you'd be pleased, Commander. Were you not complaining of a lack of manpower just a few months ago?" Erwin lowered his hand, lest it somehow find its way around Aleister's scrawny neck.
"And your idea of remedying that is by saddling me with untrained civilians? Will these people be sent to the Training Corps, or will the onus to teach them vertical maneuvering be on the Survey Corps?" A clergyman, from that Wall worshiping sect if the gilded chains around his neck were anything to go by, frowned deeply at the colonel.
"I thought you told him everything."
"You see how he reacts to the idea of civilians being sent out- you tell him!"
"…tell me what?" Silence filled the hall as the Assembly members refused to meet his icy glare. Erwin took another step forward. "What else have I not been informed of, sirs?" Glaring at his peers, Lord Clemons at last deigned to turn his attention to the commander.
"It seems that Colonel Gerald has neglected to inform you of His Majesty's new edict. You are aware of the settlements established in the north?"
"I know of them, yes." He knew that it was rumored they were little more than penal colonies where refugees were put to work breaking rocks and digging up roots in land that remained barren no matter how much it was tilled. Perhaps that was just hearsay, but the threat of being sent to Utopia had quickly become the MP's preferred way of dealing with crime in Trost.
"Well, unfortunately, they aren't providing the results we'd hoped for. Food production has remained stagnant, and the districts' grain stores are quickly running out. At this rate, humanity is like to starve before the Titans can finish us off!" Erwin bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted metal. Did this lord think him blind or stupid, he wondered? Or perhaps he just didn't see the hypocrisy of a man so rotund that the buttons of his silk shirt were straining to remain closed complaining about a lack of food. Not a single member of the Assembly looked to be lacking any sort of comfort, their clothes clean and neatly pressed, their faces well rested…
"I am well aware that scarcity has been driving up the prices of all commodities, gentlemen, but I fail to see how unequipped civilians beyond the wall will remedy that. We will not be able to take back Wall Maria with a host that panics and breaks formation as soon as a Titan appears."
"No, you won't," Gerald acquiesced. "That isn't the king's intention. You needn't worry about training these people, Smith, nor arming them." Erwin's stomach dropped, but his mind refused to wrap itself around the horrifying realization threatening to dawn on him.
"Then how will they face the Titans? How are they to have any hope of surviving if they can't fight back?" 'Say it. Say it, you bastards; I'm not leaving until you say it out loud…'
"It is a necessary sacrifice, Commander," the priest told him, quickly growing defensive. "The good of the many will forever outweigh the good of the few; the Charters of Humanity was founded on that principal!"
"And just how many are to be considered 'the few'?"
"Approximately two hundred thousand."
"Two- Why not just open the gates of Wall Rose and let the Titans in at this point, since we've clearly given up on keeping what's left of humanity alive?!"
"Commander Smith, control yourself!" Breathing deeply, Erwin stepped back, forcing his anger and disgust down deep, deep into the pit of his stomach where it simmered like poison but no longer threatened to burst forth. Reassured that the younger man wasn't going to charge them, Lord Clemons leaned back in his seat, his thin lips pulled into a frown. "His Majesty did not make this decision lightly. It is a horrible thing, yes, but a necessary evil. An overgrown garden must be pruned if it is to continue to grow."
"And who will choose which lives are to be 'pruned'?"
"I suggest you watch your tone, Commander; you make it sound as if this is being done with malicious intent."
"The people will choose," the pastor interjected. "After the hardships they have endured, they will understand what must be done for the good of their fellow man. It will be a painful choice, to be sure, but God will bless them for their sacrifice."
"Save that bible-thumping nonsense for your patsies, Richard," Aleister hissed at the pastor, before turning his attention back to Erwin. "You needn't concern yourself with such things, Commander. The decision has already been made, and it will go on with or without your approval. A wise strategist would use this opportunity to his advantage; after all, Titans are drawn to large crowds of people, are they not?"
"No amount of canon fodder will make up for the fact that the Survey Corps still has less than one hundred soldiers to its name, Colonel."
"Then go pick up some new recruits. The 101st will be graduating this year; a few more months won't make any difference. I'll send letters to the commandants to inform the cadets that any who wish to join the Survey Corps will be granted an early graduation." The tone with which he said it made it clear he felt he was doing Erwin some grand favor. Lord Clemons leaned forward in his seat, his eyes narrowed as he stared down at the younger man.
"This is not up for debate, Commander. If you truly value humanity, you will fulfill your duty and carry out this mission to the best of your ability." His words were a threat, thinly veiled to the point of being blatant.
"…of course." Erwin saluted. "We must all give our hearts and souls for the good of humanity…"
"Ah, I've got the jitters…" Cecile's voice brought him back to the present. She'd dropped her reins and was flexing her fingers. "Being on this side of the recruitment process is a lot more nerve-wracking than I would have thought."
"I still don't know how I feel about trying to recruit cadets three months before graduation. The top ten probably haven't even been chosen yet," Dietrich muttered, turning to face Erwin. "Do you really think bringing such a crop of greenhorns on a mission as convoluted as this is wise, Commander?" Of course he didn't, but Erwin knew better than to admit such a thing to a subordinate.
"Three more months practicing hand-to-hand combat in the safety and structure of the training camp isn't going to prepare them for this mission. We aren't expecting any of the top cadets to begin with. More than ever, people will be desperately scrambling to claw their way into the interior." The people eager to escape the Titans weren't who they were looking for. No, it was a more desperate demographic the Survey Corps would be courting.
"Do you know what you'll be saying in your recruitment speech?" Mike asked.
"I have an idea." That was a lie. He barely remembered what Shadis had said when he'd stood before the 89th all those years ago; he hadn't been paying attention even then. Some nonsense about humanity's glory… Maybe that worked all those years ago when, to the fresh faced, bright eyed teenage crowd, the Titans they trained to fight were little more than mythical creatures given scale by wooden cutouts. Back then, no one outside of the Scouts would have even seen a Titan. But now… now when the danger was far more literal, glory would seem like a silly thing to throw one's life away for.
Hearing you talk about the way life was and the things you believe are still beyond the walls would probably inspire way more people to join the Survey Corps than all of Commander Shadis' hollow bullshit about humanity's glory…
He batted that thought away. No one would care about what may or may not exist beyond the walls when their homes were now beyond that barrier as well. As the perimeter of the southern branch of the Training Corps came into view, Erwin felt a chill that he was certain didn't come from the early February wind. Every year, he and his fellow Scouts would wonder how many new recruits would join their branch, if there would be any at all. Every year, there would be at least a dozen or so, but that dreaded pessimism never really went away. The rest of the Corps was back at base, undoubtedly wondering the same thing. What would they all think if he came back empty handed, if he couldn't manage to convince a single cadet to throw their life away for the betterment of humanity?
'No, that's ridiculous,' he told himself firmly. 'I'm good at talking… good at lying…' Now was not the time for honesty. Two officers, wearing dark green overcoats similar to their saves for the insignias they wore, saluted as they dismounted.
"Commander Smith, a pleasure to meet you. Lieutenant Engels." A thin, bespectacled man with gray hair offered Erwin a hand, wincing slightly as he took it. "I take it you've been riding quite some time?"
"Indeed. I confess, this is the first time I've visited the southern branch; I graduated from the western corps, myself."
"So I heard. Well, come into the officer's cabin- you and your people can have some tea and warm up. The 101st are in the middle of free climbing drills, and Shadis is probably going to have them on that cliff until sundown if we don't tell him you're here."
"Wait, what?" Cecile pushed her way forward, frowning slightly. "Did you say 'Shadis'?"
"There wouldn't be any relationship to former Commander Keith Shadis, would there?" Horace asked, also frowning. Lieutenant Engels exchanged a glance with the other officer, a stout woman whose hair was cut shorter than many a male cadet.
"You haven't heard? Keith has been the commandant here for the past… five months, now?"
"…I thought he retired from the military." Erwin forced his voice to remain calm, but an edge must have slipped in there somehow, given the way his former squad mates were backing away from him.
"From the Survey Corps. When the Wall Maria refugees were sent up north, we had too many recruits and not enough instructors, so when he applied for the job, Premier Zachary approved him, no questions asked."
"What questions could possibly be asked? You'd have to be a fool to turn away an instructor with almost twenty years experience in the field."
"…are you alright, commander? Your eye is twitching-"
"It's fine. I'm fine. We said we could wait indoors?"
"Uh… yes, of course. Right this way." The female officer gestured for them to follow her, and as soon as they began walking, Horace and Cecile began whispering to one another, a bit too loudly. Erwin walked a bit faster in an attempt to ignore them, knowing full well they were talking about him, turning his attention to the training field.
The frozen snow that covered most of the ground was reduced to muddy, sandy slush where about fifty pairs of cadets were practicing disarming drills. If the seniors were free climbing, then these were either in their first or second year. If they were first years, this would be when they would spend most of their time learning the fundamentals of munitions- frozen guns caused less causalities than frozen ODM gear. The officer's cabin was little more than a standard barracks cleared of the dozens of bunk beds the cadets shared. A fire roared in the belly of an iron stove, warming the large room enough that the windows were fogged. Section Commander Claes rushed over to it immediately, holding her hands out to the warmth.
"Make yourselves comfortable. I'll inform the commandant of your arrival, and Lieutenant Meyers-" A gunshot cut through the frozen air, followed shortly by hysterical screams. The older woman shut her eyes tightly, sighing.
"—is praying one of these little idiots didn't just blow their goddamn head off…" She turned on her heel, storming out and yelling at the top of her lungs, "Which one of you brain-dead maggots is using a loaded gun?!" Horace chuckled weakly.
"Heh. That brings back memories. We all had that one reject who you always had to duck around when they grabbed a gun. Yubello Cranston- that's who it was in my year. He dropped out about six months in."
"Who was the loser who couldn't shoot in your year, Erwin?" Cecile grinned at him, and was met with an unamused frown.
"That would be me." She winced.
"What was your class rank, again?"
"First."
"I'm going to stop talking now."
"Please do."
Turning away from the heat and conversation both, the commander walked over to the window, tracing a line through the condensation. So these recruits were being taught, at least in part, by a former Scout. It was unheard of- Survey Corpsmen who retired usually did so because of their inability to vertically maneuver, meaning they would be incapable of keeping an eye on new recruits while they practiced their wires. The instructors were more often than not retired Garrison, as the MPs rarely left the interior once they got in. Even if these children hadn't witnessed the terror of the Titans firsthand, Shadis would have done his best to instill it in them, he was certain. Meaning not one of them was probably still ignorant enough to think joining the Survey Corps would be a good idea.
"Why would anyone be a Scout," Erwin whispered to himself, "why would anyone willingly jump into the mouth of a Titan…?" His mind wandered back to the reasons his former squad mates, his long-dead friends had shared with him; wanting better lives for their families, living in fear for their families… reasons he'd never been able to personally relate to, but understood were powerful on a purely conceptual level.
How many of those children out there even had families, still; how many parents would be okay with their prepubescent sons and daughters enlisting, knowing full well only ten out of hundreds would be guaranteed to never see a Titan? How many had seen their mothers and fathers devoured, snatched away from them while they could do nothing but watch in terrified confusion and impotent fury? That was a feeling he was far more familiar with…
The door creaked, and a blast of cold wind stole the warmth from the room. Pulled from his thoughts, Erwin was immediately transported back to his early days as a recruit, the entire mess hall going silent as the doors slammed open, Shadis' golden eyes a nocked arrow ready to pierce the first fool who spoke up, Which one of you insubordinates is trying to stir shit up…? His gaze was just as piercing, but his voice no longer carried the same edge it once had.
"You're early, Smith. I wasn't expecting you 'til April."
"Orders from the Assembly."
"Yeah, I heard that bullshit they were spouting." Finally closing the door, the former Survey Corp commander removed his coat, as though the room weren't still freezing. Folding it over his arm, he pulled the nearest chair out from the table and sat. "The 101st's in the showers while the recruitment stage is being set up. You're lucky- none in this group actually saw any Titans, so they're all still gullible and stupid. You're gonna have a harder sell from here on out."
"Duly noted." The atmosphere in the room could have been described as tense if Erwin actually cared to pay his predecessor any mind. He didn't, turning his attention back to the window.
"…is he always like this, or is this just special treatment reserved for me?" Shadis asked one of the Section Commanders, or perhaps the room at large. Dietrich chose to answer, or at least, tried to.
"Uh, Commander-"
"It's 'Commandant' now, Simon. I knew you were never the sharpest blade in the holster, but I'd think after eight months, you'd remember who your goddamn SO is." Erwin whipped around to face him, eyes flashing.
"I'll thank you to show my Section Commanders the respect they're due, Commandant."
"I-it's okay, Commander, really-"
"Quiet, Dietrich; if I want your opinion, I'll ask for it." The room seemed to cool, despite the stove burning as high as ever. The smallest of grins carved the lines around Shadis' mouth even deeper.
"There's that spark in your eyes I remember; the insubordination, that… offense at the audacity and stupidity of the idiots surrounding you… Where the fuck was that when the Assembly told you to march civilians to their deaths?"
"Perhaps if you hadn't abandoned your post to play at being a glorified babysitter, the two of us could have been offended together and actually stood up to them. Your seniority would have far more effect on the Assembly than on teenagers pretending to be soldiers."
"The fuck it would, Smith." Shadis slumped in his seat, the dark circles under his eyes making him look exhausted, rather than threatening. "I was never anything but a clown to those people. You managed to get your grubby little claws into high society to keep our expeditions going; where's all that cunning now?"
"I didn't have time. This was sprung on me just as unexpectedly as it was on everyone else!"
"Somehow, you managed to find the pulse of the Dissolution Faction pretty damn quick. Seems like someone on the council is always talking to someone else. So tell me again- you couldn't do anything about this death march… or you didn't try?" Inhaling sharply, Erwin could feel his pulse in his ears.
"Don't you judge me, you deserter… Nothing you have ever done in your miserable career could even compare to the bullshit I've been dealing with for the past eight months- the bullshit you saddled me with through your sheer incompetence…!" Yes… this was all Shadis' fault… Placing the blame on something outward, something he could rage against, felt so comforting and empowering… He probably would have continued yelling had the door not opened again, not as wide this time, but still enough to chill the room immediately.
"Uh… Commander, the stage is ready; the 101st are assembled." Lieutenant Engels frowned slightly. "Is everything okay in here? Do you need a moment?"
"No. Everything is fine." And at once, that anger receded to deeper, stiller waters. Erwin inhaled deeply. It was time to convince some children to die.
~o0o~
It was quite early in the day- the sconces bordering the weathered platform hadn't even been lit. Despite standing at attention, many of the cadets before Erwin were visibly shivering, those in the back shifting from one foot to the other in a desperate attempt to stay warm. These faces weren't as young as he had been dreading, most of them nearly adults. He came to a halt in the center of the stage, just as he had seen Shadis do all those years ago, shoulders back, chest out, head high; a perfect display of confidence and authority his pounding heart completely undermined.
"Good morning, cadets!"
"Good morning, sir!" He almost winced- the roar of all those voices yelling at the top of their lungs was deafening.
"You probably don't know me. My name is Erwin Smith- I am the commander of the Survey Corps. Now, I know you aren't scheduled to graduate for three more months, but I have been granted special permission by His Majesty King Fritz to accept any recruit who wishes to join our division. The reason? We will be heading beyond Wall Rose for the first time since Wall Maria fell in less than a month, and we are in sore need of soldiers." At once, the faces staring up at him shifted, some glancing at their fellow cadets, others twisting in disdain, or fear.
"While the majority of you have undoubtedly been insulated from goings on of the outside world these past three years, I'm certain you've heard the stories from the younger cadets, many of whom may have actually witnessed the Titans firsthand. Your world may not have changed much in here, but once you step outside the boundaries of this training camp, no matter what division you choose, you will feel just how small the world at large has become. We have lost a third of what little territory remained to us, more than a fourth of our population. Humanity is on the brink of collapse, and I am here today to ask that you join us, not in pulling humanity back from that brink, but to drive back the beasts that pushed us here in the first place!" A hushed whisper washed over the crowd, and Erwin almost made the mistake of relaxing a hair when a voice much louder than the rest called out.
"You're asking us to throw our lives away!" Gasps and "oooh"s rippled out but quickly fell silent. It was impossible to tell who had spoken- the voice had come from somewhere near the center back, but that could have been any one of a dozen people. Behind his back, Erwin's nails dug into the meat of his palms.
"…throwing your life away… I won't ask for your name, cadet, but I will ask this; do you think you're going to live forever?" The silence stretched on and on, until the same voice rang out again, far less confident.
"N-no, but… I don't need to get eaten by a Titan!"
"So you think you're safe from the Titans? You think you're going to be in the Top Ten, live a safe, comfortable life in the Interior where the Titans will never reach you? …the people of Shiganshina thought the Titans would never reach them, either, and yet here they are, practically clawing at the gates of Trost. Tell me, cadet- where are you going to run when they break through Wall Rose? Because it's not a matter of 'if', but 'when'- if they could do it once, they can just as easily do it again." That self-assured voice didn't respond this time, but Erwin did not relent, stepping closer to the edge of the stage, closer to the hundreds of eyes fixed upon him as though he might herald the destruction he spoke of.
"The Titans aren't going to go away just because you don't want to think about them. No higher power is going to deliver us salvation if you pray hard enough. The only thing that will stop them from killing every single one of us is if we kill every single one of them first. Will you die in that process? Most likely. I've seen soldiers better than you will ever be killed before they even realized what was happening. But if you don't want to take that risk, I can't and won't force you. By all means, turn your back on your fellow man. Close your eyes and cover your ears; you'll be in the Interior. At least, ten of you will be. It won't be your problem… yet. You have a choice, cadets; you can wait for death to come to you, wait in your pen like pigs being fattened for the slaughter… or you can face these monsters head on, blade in hand, cut them down before they do the same to your families and friends… And if you die, it won't be cowering in fear, but red in tooth and nail knowing that, if only for a moment, you were the hunter and the Titans, your prey!"
For one horrible second, Erwin heard the intensity of his voice in his ears and realized he was buying into his own lies as though he didn't know firsthand how idiotic what he was saying was. Humans drive back the Titans, preposterous… He inhaled deeply, calming himself.
"As I said, I will not force anyone to join- the Survey Corps has no need for soldiers who aren't willing to dedicate their hearts and souls to humanity. If you know with absolute certainty that you aren't willing to put yourself in danger to spare your loved ones the horrors so many others have endured, then you are dismissed." The crowd split at once, most of the cadets tripping over themselves and each other to put as much distance between themselves and the stage as possible, as if there were a time limit and if they didn't get away fast enough, they might be forced to join despite his assurance.
The vast majority of cadets had retreated back to the palisade, hugging the rough logs in such a way that made it clear that they weren't remaining even that close by choice. Around fifteen cadets remained where they were, still standing at attention. A good enough haul in general, but it was not even noon yet and they still had three camps to visit. Erwin allowed himself a small, if not self satisfied smile, beating his fist against his chest.
"I salute your bravery, Scouts. It will serve you well. Remember; we do not cower. We do not yield. We are the hunters!"
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Sixty eight new recruits across all four branches. In a single day, the Survey Corps' numbers practically tripled, and the excitement was palpable. For the first time in months, voices filled the halls, not just one or two whispers or muffled sobs, but full conversations between groups of three or more. It was a strange feeling, one the Survey Corps veterans could not quite wrap their heads around.
"Erwin, did you bribe all these kids?" Hange asked, their eyes narrowed behind their smudged lenses as they scrutinized him.
"Of course not."
"Did you threaten them?" Levi droned.
"…I'm not dignifying that with a response."
"Threats," the shorter man confirmed, earning a scowl from Cecile.
"No, he didn't threaten anyone… guilted, maybe. But honestly, they deserve some guilt- all of humanity deserves some guilt! For years they treated us like we were all insane for trying to fight the Titans- 'Oh, that's why you don't go beyond the walls!'- and now look at them; bitching that we didn't fight them more!"
"…Davies, you're very close to sounding like you think humanity deserves what happened." Mike muttered, earning an affronted gasp.
"I don't think that at all! But are you honestly telling me that you didn't wonder, for one second, if one of those assholes you heard jeering at us for all these years didn't shit themselves staring down a Titan?"
"No."
"Oh, so you're a liar."
"Cecile, that's enough," Erwin quieted her. "If you're going to revel in the thought of people getting their comeuppance, at least keep it to yourself- the last thing we need is for the new recruits to think we tricked them into joining the Survey Corps as some form of payback for the sins of their parents."
"Okay, but seriously; how did you trick them?" Hange's leg bounced as they scooted further to the edge of their seat. "Because I was talking to Moblit and Nanaba and Dirk, and… honestly, we all thought you'd be coming back empty-handed… not through any fault of your own!" They quickly amended, raising their hands in preemptive surrender. "It's just… people have been reminded why we fear the Titans in the first place…" Before he was forced to think of an explanation, Mike answered in his stead.
"Erwin's good at rabble rousing. Always has been. You weren't around for his first speech."
"I remember that one," Horace muttered. " 'What are we Surveying; how many bites it takes to get to the center of a human torso!?' " Mike and Cecile repeated the words in tandem with him, and Erwin buried his face in his hands. God, he had been stupid when he was younger…
"You actually said that?" Levi almost sounded surprised… well, as surprised as one could expect from him. He scoffed immediately. "Of course you did; you have a talent for exaggerating…"
"I don't exaggerate, Levi. I'd think you of all people would understand the disgust and frustration that results in watching all your friends and comrades die in the field." Gray eyes flashed dangerously at him, a silent warning that he was treading on thin ice. Hange either didn't notice the tension building between the two men or, more likely, didn't care.
"I heard about that from some of the older Scouts- everyone from the 89th died within the first three months."
"Not everyone…" He corrected them quietly. There were two survivors, once… and now…
"Well, that's not my point. After my first few missions, I wasn't thinking about giving inspiring speeches- I was a blubbering mess. Is that another part of your compartmentalization- channeling your frustration into speeches?"
"How many times do I have to tell you this- I don't 'compartmentalize'. All I do is speak the truth, then as I have now. The Survey Corps wasn't carrying out its mission- Hange, if you bring up capture missions one more time, I will fold you like a piece of paper…" That excited spark in their eyes was extinguished immediately. Good. Erwin had more than enough things to worry about without their nonsense floating around in his head.
"Honestly, I'd rather try to capture a Titan than do what we're actually supposed to do…" Horace mumbled. "We're really taking civilians out there?"
"Yes."
"Are we… supposed to try to protect them?"
"…no."
"I don't think I can do that, Erwin," Cecile told him plaintively. "I'm sure plenty of them are assholes, but… I don't think I can stand back and watch people die."
"You won't. We'll be riding ahead of them and laying down our first supply cache. This expedition will be no different than the dozens we've taken part in before."
"Do you often bring thousands of unarmed civilians to use as meat shields?" Levi asked sardonically. "Guess that practice was before my time."
"If you have something to say about it, by all means, go to the capital. Storm into the Central Building, give the Assembly a piece of your mind- tell the King off to his face. I give you official leave to do so. Please. I beg you- any of you- to get off your asses and do something other than complain to me. I just hope you don't mind if I'm a bit too busy with the entirety of the Survey Corps to bail you out when they throw you under the jail." He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that… Try as he might, those words were stuck on his tongue.
"…why are you so angry at us…?" Hange asked in a small voice. Erwin sighed, running a hand through his hair. It was getting long again; he could just barely feel a few of the strands tickling the back of his neck.
"Because the lot of you are acting as though I have any say in this matter. As though I didn't make my disgust with this edict know, as if I enjoy doing this. If you truly, honestly, believe my dissent would accomplish anything other than earning an immediate dishonorable dischage, lead by example. Walk away, right here, right now. This is your one and only chance; if you can't stomach what is about to take place and want to turn your back on all the people who depend on you, I will see you honorably discharged. But know that if you lose your nerve and try to leave after this moment, I will personally hunt you down and execute you."
"You would kill us, Erwin?" Cecile's voice was barely a whisper.
"Yes."
"Is the Survey Corps that important to you?" There was a note of incredulity- actual incredulity!- in Levi's voice.
"Yes." If anything happened to the Survey Corps, all the sacrifices thus far would be for naught, and he could not- would not!- let that happen… For, if not with the Wings of Freedom at his back, what hope was there of ever seeing what lay beyond the Walls? Without the Survey Corps… what was the point of all this suffering? Mike heaved a deep, heavy sigh.
"I've been here longer than, and seen worse shit than you, Erwin. I'm not going anywhere."
"It's not our call… the king himself ordered this…"
"I mean, it's for the good of humanity, right?"
"Yes," Erwin reminded them. "And we must always put the good of humanity about all else, above our beliefs and ideals, even above our own insignificant lives."
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A/N- I don't know why Paradis' mini genocide was a plot point in the first place, to be perfectly honest. You'd think the government ordering the deaths of 20% of the poors would be a bigger deal (specifically to the poors), but it doesn't actually affect anything or anyone in the story (like, you could maybe sayArmin, but, like… he mentions it once and he still would have joined the Survey Corps regardless- you know he would have. His grampa could have just died from old age or lack of food- another plot point that amounts to nothing). It's barely a footnote. It's specifically brought up by Pixis later to drive home that no one cares. That's not the case anymore. This story is veering into "fix fic" territory, because everytime I remember things like this (and a lot of other little details that drive me absolutely insane), it hits me for massive psychic damage.