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Ch.34- "Truth"

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The sun had set so far by the time he got back to base that it had long since dipped below Wall Rose, casting most of the ruined district in heavy shadow. The pyres, stacked with bodies three deep, were still burning strongly when he stepped into the courtyard, his horse instinctively shying away from the massive flames before he soothed it. A few of the older soldiers remained outside, ensuring the blaze did not grow out of control, slumped wearily on crates with barrels of water beside them. They barely seemed to notice him through the thick, putrid smoke and shimmering air. Several of the younger Scouts were tending to their horses in the stables. They stared openly as they saw him leading his lathered steed, fumbling to salute.

"Commander! Thank god you're back!"

"Is everything alright?"

"We were worried!"

"Everything is fine." He led his horse into its paddock, turning to the recruits. "I need to speak to the Section Commanders. One of you, see to my horse."

"I'll do it, sir!" An incredibly petite girl darted forward, taking the reins from him and straining to reach up and rub the horse's neck. He wondered if such a slight child would be alright dealing with the massive courser, but brushed those concerns to the side. She'd managed to survive in the field- surely a horse wouldn't spell the end of her.

It was quiet inside.

After a failed mission, the barracks were always engulfed in a mire of grief, bitterness, and anger. When people spoke, it was usually in whispers. It was especially noticeable when there were new recruits- their shock, their horror, generally took some time to wear off. He could hear whispering, faint as it was, as he ascended the stairs. He'd barely passed by Mike's room before the door was thrown open. Erwin paused, waiting for his second-in-command to call out to him, but despite clearly seeing- and smelling- that he was back, Mike seemingly ignored him, rushing to the other Section Commander's rooms and pounding on their doors. Horace was the first to open his, but before he could even step over the frame, Cecile kicked hers open with a massive yawn, half her hair sticking up in every direction, half of it plastered to her face.

"The fuck is wrong with you? I just fell asleep!"

"Erwin's back," Mike told them plainly. Four pairs of eyes turned in unison to where the commander currently stood, unlocking his door. He didn't look up when he heard the distressed cry, nor the frenzied scuff of slippers running towards him, and only had a bit of the wind knocked from him as arms wrapped tightly around his middle.

"Oh, thank god you're okay!"

"I told you he was fine, Hange."

"Hange has spent the past twenty hours worrying themselves sick," Horace explained to him, "convinced that this mission was your breaking point and that you jumped off Wall Rose." Hange drew away from him, flushed, though whether from embarrassment or anger, he could not rightly tell.

"No! I knew he would never do something so cowardly!"

"Yeah, after we spent two hours convincing you he wouldn't," Cecile reminded them.

"I'm deeply sorry." His voice was low, little more than a whisper, but everyone stopped speaking to hear him. "I never intended to worry any of you, and I am ashamed that I did so regardless. After meeting with the Premier and the Colonel last night, I'm afraid I lost track of time and needed a while to clear my mind." Horace frowned slightly.

"Where'd you sleep? In the Ehrmich barracks?" Erwin opened his mouth to answer, but Mike cut him off, his nostrils flaring.

"I think he just put up at an inn last night; he smells like other people." There was a hint of a grin playing around his lips, but Erwin met his gaze stone-faced.

"Sometimes one needs a break from the military."

"Well, break's over!" Hange pushed him, none too gently, into his office, as the other filed in behind them. "What's going on with Eren?" Yes… they were right. That momentary distraction, where he could just be Erwin the man, was over, and now it was time for him to become Commander Smith once more. He slid into the role as one slides their hand into a broken in glove.

"He is to be handed over to the Military Police in six days." He ignored the gasps and curses, walking over to his desk. "Do you all have your mission reports ready?"

"Who gives a damn about mission reports?" Cecile asked frantically. "Are we really turning Eren over to the MPs?"

"Those are our orders. And I give a damn about mission reports." Horace shook his head, disbelieving.

"So that's it? It's over, just like that? Isn't there anything we can do?"

"That depends. Go bring me your mission reports. Now."

As they left the room, rather more hesitantly than usual, Erwin pulled out a smaller copy of the Long-Distance formation and a pen. All he knew for certain was that the rear of the right flank was completely wiped out. The tip of his pen tapped against the paper, leaving a small black dot amidst the section markers. It didn't take long for the others to return, laying their reports before him. Starting with Mike's, whose section had been moved to the decimated rear, he carefully pieced together what seemed to have happened, marking it on the formation.

"So the Female Titan appeared from behind us, bringing a horde of Titans with it to wipe out the spotters of the right flank." He crossed out that section of the formation, then drew an arrow pointing up. "It then moved north, towards the van, killing several officers… but didn't call another horde of Titans… and didn't leave nearly as many casualties in its wake…" He drew another arrow. "After which point, it focused its attention onto the center column and began pursuing Eren until we apprehended it in the forest…" Setting his pen down, Erwin leaned back to look at the map. "What do you all make of this?" Hange frowned, pushing their glasses further onto their nose.

"Something happened when it started moving towards the vanguard. Maybe it caught a glimpse of Eren- or maybe it smelled him? It is theorized that Titans are drawn to people by scent; maybe Titans controlled by humans can detect other Titans controlled by humans?"

"That's possible," Erwin acquiesced, "but I think something simpler might be at play here. Where'd I put those mission briefings for the 104th cadets present when Eren transformed…?" They weren't on his desk, so he rifled through several drawers before finding them. Of all the soldiers who had been told Eren would in the right wing, two names stood out. "Armin Arlert and Reiner Braun… these two were told that Eren would be in the right wing. And Arlert was one of the only survivors of Ness' squad… What do we know about him?"

"Um… he's from Shiganshina. He was childhood friends with Eren and Mikasa Ackerman. Um… I think he was the one that vouched for Eren to Pixis?" Cecile frowned. "What, you think he's one of the spies?"

"I don't know, but you must admit, it's all quite convenient. Perhaps too convenient. Where's Arlert now?"

"In the barracks downstairs." Erwin inhaled deeply.

"Mike, send him up. The rest of you are dismissed, but don't undress. We need to pay the Wall Rose base a visit tonight."

"Tonight?" Horace groaned. "That can't wait?"

"I'm afraid not. Levi and Eren need to be filled in with what's going on." There was a bit of grumbling, but it was halfhearted and the Section Commanders quickly relented, trudging from the room. All except Mike, who remained where he stood. "Yes? Is something amiss?"

"What are you going to do with Arlert?"

"Question him." Mike frowned.

"You really think that's wise? If this kid is an accomplice of the Female Titan and you say the wrong thing, you could end up in the mouth of the Armored or Colossal." Erwin grinned despite himself.

"If Arlert is the Colossal Titan, I'm more worried about ending up under his foot than in his mouth. And regardless of what he may be, I don't think he's brash enough to let that slip because I touched a nerve. Send him up." Still Mike hesitated.

"I'll come up with him, just in case-"

"You will not. There's no need for this to appear any more standoffish than it needs to." He began putting the papers littering his desk away. "Stop worrying; I might not be you or Levi, but I can still hold my own against Titans."

"I'm not worried for my sake," the other man told him as he headed to the door. He paused before stepping into the hall. "Congratulations, by the way. I suggest you take a shower before we head out- Arlert might not be able to figure out where you've been, but Levi will."

There wasn't time for a shower yet. While all the forms and papers assorted with the mission had been put away, Erwin was still rifling through his drawers when the knock came, so faint he barely heard it.

"Come in." He sat up, meeting the gaze of the grim-faced recruit standing in the frame of the open door. The form of his salute was perfect, but the boy standing before him looked more like a child playing dress-up than a soldier. "At ease. Close the door and take a seat." The tremble in Arlert's arms as he lowered them was almost imperceptible, but Erwin was nothing if not perceptive. He noted the boy's tight jaw, his stiff posture as he approached the desk, the way he perched on the edge of the chair rather than sitting comfortably.

"You seem nervous, Armin. You're not in any trouble; I just want to ask you some things about what happened during the expedition."

"About the Female Titan," the boy corrected him, his voice hoarse. He wasn't looking at Erwin, but at some point beyond his right ear. He smiled, but there was nothing even remotely happy in it.

"Very astute. Though perhaps I shouldn't be surprised- you had the highest test scores in the southern 104th, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"Normally, the more intelligent cadets join the Garrison to become engineers, but how smart one is seems to be directly disproportionate to one's willingness to die horribly…" Armin blinked, apparently thrown off guard as he met Erwin's eyes for the first time since entering the room.

"You're smart, sir."

"I'm intelligent," he corrected the boy. "The older you get, the more you come to realize that being intelligent doesn't make you 'smart' …are you smart, Armin?" Large blue eyes shied away from him once more.

"I-I don't know, sir…"

"Well, I suppose I'll have to be the judge of that… You were in Captain Ness' squad, correct?"

"Y-yes, sir…" he swallowed hard, his fair skin taking on a greenish tinge.

"Given that you refer to the Abnormal as 'the Female Titan', I take it you witnessed it tearing through our ranks?"

"Yes, sir. I-" Shutting his eyes tightly, the boy dipped his head. His hands were balled into fists on his thighs, shaking from the force with which he clenched them.

"You what?"

"I saw it…" Armin whispered. "I saw it kill Captain Ness and XO Siss…" He shook his head, gritting his teeth. "I saw Titans killing people in Trost… I saw them eat people- one almost ate me, but… that was different. Even then, as terrible as it all was, I knew that those were animals. There was no malice, no satisfaction- they were just hunting prey and that prey just so happened to be us… But-" He began breathing deeply, almost hyperventilating, as he looked up. "Commander, I- I think the Female Titan is a person, like Eren." Erwin was very careful not to let even the smallest hint of emotion show on his face, in his posture, in his voice.

"Why would you say that?"

"I-it's the only way it makes sense. I know Titans sometimes dislodge ODM wires when they're going for a person, but… this one didn't bat at the wires to try and grab the person they were attached to- it grabbed Captain Ness' wires and slammed him into the ground using them. It batted Siss away from it, like it was swatting a fly. It shows logic, it- it-" By that point, Armin had begun breathing too rapidly to continue talking, clutching at his shaggy blonde mop as he tried desperately to swallow air to no avail. Erwin's voice was firm, almost callous.

"Arlert. Put your head between your knees and breathe slowly and deeply." The boy went limp almost immediately, his thin frame shaking as he sucked in ragged breaths.

Erwin watched his back shudder with a hard eye. Either he was forcing a child to relive a traumatizing event… or Arlert was one hell of an actor. Of course, it was possible that the truth was a bit of both- even if someone were in on the horrific events taking place, actually witnessing the consequences of ones' choices was a terrible thing, especially if the perpetrators were children. It was entirely possible he was being played for a fool, being spoon-fed information that might make it seem like Arlert was cooperating with him. Well, he'd take all the information he could get and parse if it were useful after the fact. The boy's breathing slowly calmed.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes, sir …I'm sorry," he muttered, pushing himself upright and pushing his hair from his eyes. "That isn't how a Scout should react."

"It's how most people would react," Erwin admitted. "Facing Titans isn't a task for the faint of heart, and coming face to face with one's mortality often reveals that we're more fainthearted than we'd like to admit. It's perfectly acceptable for a soldier to break down once they're back in the barracks- we're only human, after all. All that matters is being collected in the field, and I'd say you were, given that you survived the Female Titan."

"I guess, but that's…" Armin trailed off, his eyes growing almost comically wide as he reached up with a shaking hand to touch his face. "No." His voice was suddenly firm. "No, I didn't survive because of my own merits- I survived because the Female Titan wasn't after me. Commander, Eren's in danger!"

"Eren is under Lieutenant Levi's supervision," Erwin reminded him, his tone almost blasé.

"I know that! It doesn't matter!" In contrast to his calm, Armin seemed to be growing more hysterical by the second, working himself up. "The Female Titan- or rather, the person inside it- knows who Eren is; they know what he looks like! I was thrown from my horse and my cloak went over my head. The Female Titan could have killed me in an instant- it could have squashed me like a bug, but it didn't. It pulled my cloak down and looked at my face, sir…"

"So it saw that you weren't Eren… and it spared you anyway. Strange- it didn't spare any of the other dozens of soldiers who weren't Eren." Erwin's tone was glacial, but Armin barely picked up on that, seemingly off in his own world.

"I know… It tried to kill Jean… it tried to kill Reiner… but it left me alone twice… I think she feels sorry for me…"

" 'She'?" The boy froze for a fraction of a second.

"I mean-!" He squeaked as the tip of a blade leveled between his eyes. Erwin's body acted on instinct, grabbing one of the blades from beside him as he stood so quickly the chair wobbled. "C-commander, wha-what are y-y-?"

"I don't think you're being entirely forthcoming, Arlert. Now, we know that people who turn into Titans can regenerate their limbs, but we're unsure if that also includes heads, so you're going to be very careful about what you say next, or you're going to be quite a bit shorter than when you walked into this room." Armin's lips moved silently before he found his voice.

"Y-you think I'm in league with the F-Female Titan…?"

"I don't know; have you given me any cause to think that?"

"I-I'm telling you things about her- if I were working with her, I'd keep quiet-"

"All you've told me so far is that you're the only person it hasn't tried to kill, and that the human controlling it is female. If you want me to believe you aren't an enemy of humanity, I'm going to need something a little less suspicious than that."

Armin gaped at him, but slowly closed his mouth, his brows furrowing slightly, falling deep into thought. He knew from Hange's reports that a Titan transformation was preceded by a flash of light, and though it barely lasted longer than a bolt of lightning, a person's hands were faster than their eyes. You didn't need to carve out a human's nape to kill them. There was no light. Armin inhaled deeply, his voice surprisingly calm.

"I think the Female Titan is a girl from our Training Corps class named Annie Leonhart."

"You 'think'?"

"I can't be sure…"

"Why do you 'think'?"

"Because… I think anyone else would have killed me. She tried to convince us not to join the Survey Corps-"

"Who is 'us'?"

"Me and Connie Springer."

"When?"

"During the-" His voice caught in his throat, but Erwin wasn't having that, leaning further across the desk.

"During the what? This is not the time for you to be having having lapses in thought, Arlert."

"During the equipment inspection, sir. After the research Titans were killed."

"…that's it? That's your grand reasoning? A classmate didn't want you to make the biggest mistake of your life, so she's guilty?"

"No…" Armin muttered, looking as though he would be sick at any moment. "When Reiner and Jean fought the Female Titan, it visibly reacted when I referred to Eren as 'that suicidal maniac'- everyone in our class knew Jean called him that, so I knew the person was in the 104th, but… I think it has to be Annie because… I think she's the one that killed those research Titans."

"And your evidence for that speculation…?"

"…she didn't present her own ODM gear at the inspection." The office went dead silent, not even the sound of breathing audible. All Erwin could hear was his own heart pounding in his ears.

"…what?" Armin flinched at his glacial tone, and when he spoke next, his words were very slow, each syllable calculated. "Why would you make a claim like that, Arlert?"

"Because it's true, sir."

"How could you possibly know that? Did you look at the serial number on the gear she presented?"

"No, sir." Armin's voice was little more than a whisper, his head still up but his eyes no longer focused on the blade pointed at him or the man holding it, lowered to the desk. "But I recognized the gear from the scratches and dents because I used to do ODM maintenance with the cadet it belonged to back when we were in the Training Corps… His name was Marco Bott- he died in the Trost attack. His body was found without any gear…" Slowly, very slowly, Erwin lowered his blade, setting it on his desk. His fingers were reluctant to uncurl from the grip.

"Why are you telling me this now?" he asked very softly. Large blue eyes blinked, as though that question had just roused him from whatever deep sleep he'd lapsed into. Armin frowned, confused.

"Because… you asked, sir-"

"No, Armin. Why are you telling me this now as opposed to Three. Weeks. AGO!?" The boy flinched as he slammed his hand down on the desk, hard enough to cause the blade to bounce. "Three weeks ago, you suspected that Annie Leonhart presented a dead cadet's gear as her own to be inspected, and you just sat on that information!?"

"I-I figured I had to have been wrong, since she was cleared-"

"Then why are you bringing it up now?"

"Because-"

"Be honest!"

"Because I don't want you to think I'm a Titan and kill me, sir!"

"So you're saying the deaths of other people don't matter to you?"

"N-no-!"

"Don't deny it, Arlert. You've had plenty of time to bring this information forward to anyone- your captain. A section commander. Any of your friends. You could have written an anonymous note and slipped it under my door, but you didn't open your god damn mouth until it was your life on the line." Armin flinched, bowing his head. His hands had begun to shake again.

"I- I didn't want her to get in trouble-"

"By your own claim, she was presenting false evidence to the Military Police during a military investigation. Any trouble she got into would have been brought upon her by her own hand. Why do you believe she doesn't deserve to suffer the consequences of her actions?" Ragged breathing was his only answer, but that wasn't good enough. "Answer me, Arlert, before I have you written up for insubordination. And that might well be the least of the offenses you've committed."

"I just… I thought… she was a good person…" Erwin sat back down, his breathing remarkably calm considering that his heart was pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat.

"Armin. Look at me." He waited until he had the boy's attention, misty blue eyes meeting his own icy gaze, a tight jaw trying to keep lips from quivering. "I do not give the remotest of fucks who you think is a 'good person'. You, Armin Arlert, are not the arbiter of morality. Annie Leonhart, if she is the Female Titan, could have been in custody. So many of the deaths we suffered during this expedition could have been avoided if you had spoken up."

"I'm sorry, Commander…" His voice broke.

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to the bodies burning in the courtyard, to the corpses rotting in Wall Maria. Apologize to the families of the fallen- those are the people your choice impacted. If you see something, or think of something, it is not up to you to decide if that is pertinent information or not." Erwin inhaled deeply. "Go back to the barracks, get your cloak, and wait for further instructions. I don't think I need to tell you that not a word of this leaves your lips without my express permission." Armin frowned, confused.

"So… does that mean you trust that I'm not one of the people working to destroy the Walls…?"

"Do you truly think this conversation went that well? All you've convinced me of, Cadet Arlert, is that you care more about Annie Leonhart's well-being than the lives of the Scouts you've chosen to fight alongside. But you've also convinced me that your life matters more to you than hers, so I trust that you're smart enough to realize that you will be executed immediately if you try something."

~o0o~

It was dark enough that they had to ride with torches in hand, the old road that led the way to the castle overgrown and treacherous even in the daylight. Cecile's squad remained outside with the horses while she and Erwin led the cadets inside.

"You think he went to sleep?"

"This early? Not likely. Since he's not here to greet us, he's probably waiting in the mess hall."

It had been years since he'd been to this base, and though it was an easy path to remember, from the main entrance to the hall, retracing those steps felt oddly surreal, as though he had fallen into a dream. He'd barely been a captain for a year back then. The idea that the Walls could be breached wasn't even worth considering. His worries had been so insignificant, once upon a time… As the heavy door groaned open, Erwin noted just how dark the room was. Only a few candles had been lit, just barely illuminating the table where Levi and Eren sat at opposite ends, no plates of food before them, only cups of tea.

Guilt struck him, low in his gut, at the thought of Levi silently grieving for hours, perfectly content to sit in the dark until Eren most likely lit the candles, waiting for… something. Anything to take his mind off what happened. There was no hint of grief or anger or anything but impatience in his voice, of course.

"Finally. You took your sweet time."

"Sorry to keep you waiting." Only Eren stood, the lieutenant not even bothering to turn his chair to face them. It was too dim to see the boy's face well, but his jaw going slack was sign of enough of his shock as he noticed the smaller figures filing in behind Erwin.

"What the… Armin- Mikasa- what- why are they-?"

"We believe we've uncovered the identity of the Female Titan."

"Wait, seriously? But… I thought the operation was a bust?"

"It was."

He led the others down, grabbing a few more tapers in their holders and setting them out on the table, using one of the already lit candles to light the others. With every drop of wax that landed on the wood, he could see Levi flinching, throwing him a dirty look that he promptly ignored. Taking a seat opposite Eren, he directed the cadets to sit closer to Levi. He wasn't expecting the man to fight in his condition, but his presence alone generally served as a decent deterrent, and with Cecile sitting opposite them, he wasn't expecting many risks.

It was quite a motley crew assembled before him- Eren's utter bemusement, Armin staring at the table sullenly, and Mikasa… well, honestly he couldn't tell what she was thinking. She was another one who clearly only showed what emotions she wanted seen, akin to Levi, Mike and Thomasin before her. That was fine- Levi himself vouched that she was the least likely to be working with the Female Titan, given how dead set on killing it she'd been. When all the echoes of scraping wood on stone finally fell silent, Erwin spoke again.

"I may as well cut to the chase. We have reason to suspect that the person controlling the Female Titan is a member of the 104th Training Corps-"

"Wait, what?" Eren cut him off, too taken aback to realize how disrespectful his behavior was. "You're saying it's someone I trained with?!"

"We believe she's an MP by the name of Annie Leonhart."

"No… no, it can't be Annie!"

"It does kind of look like her," Mikasa said quietly. "Your Titan has your hair and eye color; the Female Titan is blonde with blue eyes."

"So are two of the people sitting at this table! That doesn't prove anything!"

"Eren's right," Levi drawled, loudly sipping what was left in his cup. "Unless you also know someone tall and bald with no skin, physical appearance isn't the best way to judge this. Any more evidence?" Erwin fixed the other blonde at the table with a stern gaze.

"Tell them what you told me, Armin." The boy shrank in his seat somewhat, but his voice did not waver.

"The Female Titan was looking for you, Eren. She knew your nickname. She knew my face."

"And?! That could be anyone- it doesn't mean it's Annie!"

"After the research Titans were killed, Annie didn't present her ODM gear to be inspected. She used Marco's." At those words, Eren and Mikasa both turned to gape at the boy between them. Even Levi's thin brows furrowed as he finally sat up straighter.

"Wait. Is this something we know for certain, or is this just another assumption?"

"We know," Cecile told him, handing him a sheaf of papers that he began leafing through. "The serial number of the ODM gear Annie Leonhart presented after Sawney and Beane were killed does not match up with the number of the gear she was assigned. We probably could've caught this sooner if we'd been more diligent about cross-checking those records…" She cast a sheepish look at Erwin. "Sorry for doubting you, Commander." Eren alone was not yet convinced… or at least, was still in denial.

"If this is true, why didn't the Military Police pick up on it?"

"MPs are worthless, Eren," Levi explained to him. "It's a lesson every kid needs to learn sooner rather than later."

"I'm inclined to agree, and that will be our saving grace." Erwin pushed the candle before him slightly further away, leaning on the table, his hands folded under his chin. "Cadet Leonhart has been stationed in Stohess, which serves our purpose perfectly. All of the districts of Wall Sina had tunnels built along public roads that lead to the Underground, but Stohess is one of two districts that didn't have those public tunnels filled in. Normally, we'd go straight north through Ehrmich to get to the Interior, but I'm going to request that we be allowed access from the east." Cecile frowned, holding up a hand to stop him.

"And you don't think they're going to see that coming a kilometer away? Forgive my language, Commander, but that's suspicious as hell."

"People are more than happy to overlook suspicions and see what they want to see." Despite his words not being addressed to Armin, he flinched regardless. "Eren is still seen as a hero in Trost. It's not far-fetched to believe that some of those sentiments might make their way north. After all, if he hadn't succeeded in plugging up the gate, Ehrmich would be the next district the Colossal would target. The Military Police are going to have to escort us, and I can assure you Commander Jones would sell his mother's virtue to avoid having to organize that." Levi huffed in a way that almost sounded like a laugh.

"So you're gonna put all this on Dok? Are you just trying to make him hate you now? Because I am absolutely on board with that."

"Um…" The fact that Eren didn't just immediately blurt out the first words that popped into his mind were telling of how much duress he was under. "Commander Erwin, do you really think it's a good idea to have Commander Dok involved in this? I mean… he did try to have me shot in court… I don't think he likes me very much."

"Nile was doing his job, Eren. His personal feelings regarding you, whatever they may be, have no impact on his work. Which is why he's exactly the man we need for this to work. He does his job; nothing less, but nothing more. If everything goes according to plan, you won't even see him in person. We're going to be using you as bait. Again."

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He'd set out long before the sun began peering over the Walls, but by the time he reached Stohess, the outer curve of Wall Sina had been gilded. The streets were unusually busy as the middling wealthy bustled between the dozens of shops and restaurants and parlors. Dodging people became a dizzying dance when it also involved avoiding carriages and piles of horse shit still steaming in the early morning air. Nile had been exactly as pleased to see Erwin as Levi foretold, his teeth grinding so hard as Erwin explained his reasoning for this unfortunate, but entirely unavoidable detour that he could hear them squeaking as they rubbed together. Nile didn't question the story he was fed, but it was clear that he was on the last thread of his patience by the way his thin nostrils flared as he signed the order for an escort…

"You know I have to tell the mayor about this? The streets are going to have to be closed."

"I am terribly sorry about that, Nile."

"Why couldn't you just go through Yarkle?"

"And miss the opportunity to see one of my oldest, dearest friends? You wound me, Nile."

"I hate you, Smith. I hate you so fucking much, I can taste it…"

Of that he had no doubt, but if the man could forgive him for breaking his nose fifteen years ago, so too would he get over this in time. Fortunately, not having to deal with the mayor himself gave him time to swing by the district clerk's office, and as Erwin stepped out of the small, musty catacombs, a map of the district tucked under his arm, the sun had risen high enough to be clear of the wall. He winced, raising a hand to shield his eyes. All the windows in the clerk's office were shuttered, to protect the ancient documents there from being damaged, and his eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness.

It took quite a moment for them to adjust to the intense light, meaning that although he could hear the commotion not too far from him, he couldn't see it. A collision of bodies, a man muttering something under his breath- none too pleasant by the sound of it- a woman's panicked whimpers, papers fluttering… Erwin blinked hard, forcing his eyes to adjust faster, just as he noticed the papers he'd heard skipping along the paving stones in the slight breeze. His hand darted out to catch them before they got too far away as he looked for their owner. Spots were still dancing in front of his eyes, but he noticed someone in a dress bent awkwardly as they haphazardly collected the papers scattered around them. He rushed over, but it wasn't until he was less than a meter away that the red rings faded enough for him to recognize an instantly recognizable face.

"Thomasin?" She jolted so hard she dropped everything that she had collected, the panic on her face melting into visible relief the moment she spotted him.

"Erwin! Oh, thank god, it's just you…"

"Who did you expect me to be? What are you doing here?"

"In a second- can you help me?" Crouching, Erwin quickly gathered together the papers, taking a moment to ensure most of them were at least facing the right direction before tapping them on the ground to better arrange them. As he rose, he noted Thomasin's wry smile and realized that she wasn't looking at his face, but rather, at his legs. "God, I miss having two knees…" she whispered. Before he could say anything, she took the papers from him, her smile brightening into something much less despondent as she met his eyes. "Looks like you're my guardian angel, Smith- always there when I need you most." The smile twisted a bit in confusion. "What are you doing out east again?"

"I'm here on Survey Corps business. What are you doing in Wall Sina?" Any remaining happiness in her face vanished as she furiously shook the papers at him.

"Being punished! Captain Hyles sent me up here to drop off this month's supply request with Premier Zachary to teach me a lesson about 'coming into work late'. I'm not even supposed to do this- I'm not a solider- and he waited until the last moment to drop this on me so I'd have to run to catch the ferry! Do you know how hard it is for me to run with this thing?" She slapped the papers against her false leg, not even waiting for his answer. "Very! My hip feels like two stones rubbing together!"

Erwin waited until he was certain she was done talking, until she had stood in silence, breathing hard for a very long time, before he finally spoke up.

"This is my fault. I brought this upon you. I'm sorry." His voice was all but swallowed by the sounds of hustle and bustle, but Thomasin heard him clearly, looking at him somewhat shocked.

"What? No. You didn't do anything wrong, Erwin. Hey…" With her free hand she reached up, cupping his cheek softly. He could feel some of the grit from the street clinging to her palms. "What did I tell you yesterday, huh? Never apologize for coming to me. Yesterday was probably the happiest day of my life, and nothing some miserable old man does to spite me will make it any less so. I'd do it again in an instant- I don't care if Hyles makes me scrub bedpans for the next five years." Her hand went to his neck, pulling him down so his lips could brush against hers as she whispered, "You are worth any amount of suffering." They were in public and already drawing stares- a long, deep, passionate kiss was out of the question, so Erwin instead whispered against her lips.

"Let's get married." She pulled away from him, completely flabbergasted.

"What, like… right now?"

"Yes."

"…now?"

"Yes. You're going to the Central Building anyway, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"But what?"

"We're a little under dressed for it, don't you think?"

"Peasants get married in their work clothes, why not us?" Making sure not to drop his map, he reached out, taking her hands in his as best he could while she was still holding her papers. "Thomasin, do you believe in fate?" She pulled a face.

"No. That's dumb."

"Neither do I, but this is as close to it as I would ever acknowledge. This is it, Thomasin. We don't need a fancy clothes or a big ceremony. We just need to go to the Central Building, request a marriage certificate, pay a fee and sign our names. I have the money, we're both here- you're already heading there… What more do we need?" She shrugged.

"I dunno. A ring?"

"…tomorrow is your day off, right?"

"Yeah."

"Come with me back to base today. I have something for you there." Thomasin frowned at him, a dozen things going on behind her eyes, and when she inhaled deeply, it was only to give an almost defeated shrug.

"Eh. Okay. I guess I'll just tell the Captain that I kept missing the ferries. I would, if I wasn't in of good shape as I am, but he doesn't need to know that." Erwin kissed her cheek lightly.

"Don't worry. I'll write you an excuse- I'll say I ran into you and commandeered your help for something. I don't think a captain is going to argue with a commander."She grinned wickedly at him.

"Someone abusing their power for my express benefit? Yes, please." He moved to put his arm around her, but she pulled back, her smile vanishing in an instant. "Y-you know, I think it would be better if you went ahead of me." He frowned deeply.

"Why?"

"You don't want to be seen walking with me." She lowered her voice, until he could barely hear her. "Not looking like this."

"Thomasin…" he began slowly, his voice quiet. "That man who walked past you- did he bump into you on purpose?"

"It doesn't matter." She waved her hand as though she could physically brush away his concerns. "It's fine. I can deal with people being assholes-"

"And I can't?"

"You shouldn't have to! It's not something that concerns you!"

"It is," he told her firmly, his jaw tight. "Shouldn't a husband be concerned about the problems his wife faces? Isn't he supposed to try and help her?" His expression softened, and he ran his knuckle over the curve of her cheek. "Would you really force me to leave you behind and worry that something like that might happen again, or worse?" Her whole body slumped suddenly, as though she were very tired.

"I can deal with these things on my own, Erwin."

"I know you can. I know you're very capable. But I still want to help you whenever possible, because I love you." She squeezed her eyes tightly shut.

"Ow. Right through my heart… Alright, let's go." She took his hand, but did not begin walking, taking a moment to squeeze it, a dark look on her face. "A word of warning, though? Don't look around…"

She had to have known that telling him not to do something would only make him want to do it more, that innate curiosity driving him like a moth to flame. He should have known, then, that flames usually burned. It wasn't like walking through Shiganshina or Calaneth, even though it was exactly the same in a way, walking close enough that their arms brushed, their fingers loosely intertwined. In the other districts, no one ever paid them much mind, no more than they would any other young, happy couple. He realized that it probably wasn't an odd sight in those places- while he may have only visited occasionally, the people there saw Thomasin every day for years. Even if they found her odd initially, they'd had plenty of time to grow accustomed to the sight of her, just as he did. It wasn't so within Wall Sina, where at least one in ten people openly stared as they passed, and probably one in four began whispering to whoever was nearest as soon as they came near.

Nile's warning was slowly but surely creeping back into his mind,They might not take kindly to having an 'undesirable' in their midst… Erwin shook his head slightly to clear it. The Central Building was just up ahead. They only needed to make two stops, and then they could leave and none of this would bother them anymore. Even so, there was something he couldn't shake.

"Thomasin?"

"Hmm?"

"You told me before that MPs used to… 'sniff around' you when you were a child. Do you have any idea why they would be so interested in you?" She laughed humorlessly.

"Plenty of reasons. None of which is suitable to talk about now." He wasn't so sure about that.

"Reasons like what?"

"Didn't I just say-"

"Ah, Commander Erwin." The voice made him nauseous before his mind even registered who was speaking. Erwin issued a salute to the approaching man.

"Colonel Aleister. I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon."

"Neither was I you. Unfortunately, most issues branching the government and the military fall to me to see through. And some of those issues are… most vexing."

"I can imagine, sir. I'm only here to finalize the details of Eren's transfer to the Interior Military Police." Aleister raised a narrow brow, his thin lips turning down at the corners.

"Really now? I must admit, some of the members of the Assembly were worried you would try to fight the government on this." Erwin met his gaze head on.

"My duty is to humanity, sir. Not to the Survey Corps, not to myself, and not to any one boy. I trust the king has everyone's best interests at heart." The colonel allowed himself a self satisfied smirk.

"That he does, and we are simply the tools that carry out his will. It is heartening to know that you have matured during your tenure as Commander."

"Indeed, the constant workload has left me no other recourse. And sadly, I must get back to it. Good day, Colonel." He grabbed Thomasin's hand and began pulling her towards the Central building, but before he could take more than a single step, the older man intercepted him, literally stepping in front of him to block his path, an unctuous smile on his face that avoided his eyes completely.

"Surely you weren't planning on leaving without introducing me to your companion, Commander? That would just be rude." Thomasin shifted slightly, trying to put Erwin between herself and the other man, but he side-stepped the issue entirely, walking around to her side. "Oh, you're with the Garrison, I see. I didn't realize the Survey Corps was so friendly with the other branches. What's your name, soldier?" She did not salute, did not even raise her head.

"Nurse Lindemann, sir." Aleister's eyes narrowed and he reached out, grabbing her chin and roughly lifting her head.

Erwin shifted the hand not holding hers behind his back before the other man could see it balling into a fist. Thomasin, to her credit, did not so much as bat an eye, standing perfectly still and perfectly calm while the colonel inspected her as one might a horse. Something grim passed over his face, but it was gone as quick as a sun-shower as he released her, that unctuous smile back in place.

"I didn't realize the Garrison employed such lovely nurses. It almost makes me wish I were still on active duty."

"You're too kind, Colonel." Her smile was as false as his own, but she wore her civility like armor.

"I'm a bit surprised, though- what's a Garrison nurse doing with the commander of the Survey Corps? While I'm certain the Corps needs all the help it can get-"

"Actually, this is my fiancee, Colonel Aleister." Erwin cut him off. It was almost worth it, the way the man's beady eyes widened, but there was something other than simple surprise in his face that made Erwin uneasy just thinking about it.

"Fiancee?"

"Soon to be wife. Very soon."

"…really now?" Dark eyes shifted from Thomasin, who had lowered her head once more, before meeting icy blue. "Where does a man like you happen upon such an… exotic beauty?"

"We met in the Training Corps," Thomasin told him curtly. Aleister scrutinized her with a cold gaze, but she paid him no mind, more interested in the marble pillars ahead of them.

"…what joyful happenstance. I'm sure that will make a lovely story to tell your children. Well, Commander, Nurse, I've taken up far too much of your time. I wish you both every happiness in your life together."

"Thank you, Colonel. That means a great deal, coming from you." With one last salute, Erwin took Thomasin's hand yet again, leading her to the steps perhaps a bit too quickly, but she managed to keep pace, ascending them before it even occurred to him to help her. They didn't stop until they'd entered the building, and the moment the door closed behind them, Thomasin furiously scrubbed her chin with her sleeve.

"Ugh! Who was that!?"

"Gerald Aleister. A member of the Assembly, and an all around pain in my ass. I despise that man." Everything about that encounter sent alarm bells ringing frantically in his mind. He'd thought he was protecting her by admitting that they were a couple, thought for certain the bastard wouldn't try anything when a man was standing right there, but… Aleister knew just as well as Erwin that he couldn't do anything to stop him no matter what he did. Striking a member of the Assembly in full view of witnesses? That was just begging for life imprisonment, if they were feeling lenient. And now, his thoughtlessness might have only painted a target on Thomasin's back, as some leverage to hold over him if-

"Erwin?" He barely noticed her hand, the backs of her fingers pressed against his forehead, his cheeks. "Are you alright? You look sick…" He swallowed hard, giving her an apologetic smile.

"I'm fine. The mix of bright sun and dealing with the government is a sure-fire way to get a headache." He laced his fingers with hers. "Let's finish everything up here so we can go someplace less… irksome." The worry lingered on her face for a moment, but she ultimately returned his smile, hers less wan.

"That sounds good."

"Do you know where the Premier's office is?"

"I've never been here before."

"I'll walk you there…"

There were a fair few people around- a handful of soldiers from other branches, merchants, public officials- and it must have looked quite uncouth to all of them to see the commander of the Survey Corps and a Garrison nurse walking through the halls of a government building, holding hands like a pair of spoony teenagers, but Erwin couldn't find it in himself to care. In fact, he squeezed Thomasin's hand tighter. It was warm. Calloused yet soft. Delicate but strong.

It reminds me you're alive…

The royal government had already taken away one of the people he loved most. He'd be damned if they ever did it again.

000000000

A/N- So Armin supposedly immediately recognized that Annie was using Marco's ODM gear- that's why he was looking at it in that scene. Of course he recognizes exactly whose gear it is at a glance, because Armin is the smartest cookie in the whole jar! He clearly has an eidetic memory, because I still mistake other peoples' cars for mine sometimes, but he can recognize someone else's gear from a single angle after seeing it a few times? Okay. Sure. But if he's so smart, why didn't he tell anyone that he suspected that's what happened? Because MPs are evil and would kill her on sight for *checks notes* doing something incredibly suspicious and probably illegal and then presenting false evidence? Why wouldn't he just go to an officer in the Survey Corps and say "Hey, I think you should double-check Annie's gear because the gear she presented belongs to a dead cadet"? That Ness guy seemed pretty chill- he'd probably listen.

In fact, how do we know whose gear belongs to who in the first place? We aren't shown or even told that there are any kind of identifiers on those parts- that's something I invented for this fic specifically because this bothered me so much. If there was any official way to tell whose gear is whose and what parts are replaced and when, Annie would've been found out without Armin, so how are they verifying anything? Just running on the honor system, assuming kids aren't lying about taking their ODM gear out for joyrides? You'd think they'd run a check on that shit and spot that immediately (I mean, I know we're told the MPs are lazy fucks, but are the Scouts also lazy fucks? Would someone as paranoid as Erwin not double-check that? Eren should be left with NO reason to doubt what happened when this is supposedly the smoking gun).

Like, wha… what is going on in Erwin's mind in the anime/manga? "Annie was using Marco's ODM gear." "How do you know?" "I glanced at it from one angle for a couple seconds." "Why didn't you say anything sooner?" "Uhhhh…" "Well, that makes complete sense. I will trust you, small child I just met who is suspiciously knowledgeable about classified information, with the planning of a mission upon which all of humanity hinges based on a thing that you made up just now that I have no way of verifying."

I'm sorry for the rant, y'all- I have no one to talk to about my gripes with AoT, and you're all just such good listeners, and also smart and charming and handsome/beautiful/generally attractive. I love you all so much (shout out to you, starrat- I'm always waiting to see when you've read the latest chapter).