Chapter 8

Bella

"Okay, folks! Let's get situated. Thank you for coming today instead of tomorrow. I didn't want to miss my nephew's playoff game. This week's episode is called 'Losing the Battle, Winning the War.' Bella, you're up." Alec turns it over to me.

"We live our lives in the trauma unit. Seven days a week, fourteen hours a day, we're together more than we're apart. After a while, the ways of residency become the ways of life. Number one: Always keep score. Number two: Do whatever you can to outsmart the other guy. Number three: Don't make friends with the enemy. Oh, yeah, number four: Everything, everything is a competition. Whoever said winning wasn't everything... never held a scalpel," I read.

Scene starts with Maggie avoiding Liam, but several bike accidents from a bike race throw them together. Including a dude with bike spokes jutting out of his abdomen.

Ew.

A dude named Cobra ends up kissing Maggie as Liam watches. Maggie shrugs it off, but Liam wants to know why she won't give him a chance but has no problem making out with patients.

Maggie accuses him of being jealous, and he says he doesn't get jealous. A back and forth word battle starts, and Edward and I ricochet dialogue back to each other with everyone else looking on.

There's an organ donation storyline, which Maggie is only part of through Victoria's character, Kate. Liam and Maggie end up in an on-call room, but the episode is full of humor and heart, which Olympic Med is known for. And sex. Can't forget the sex.

I sigh.

We break for lunch, then I'm off to hair and makeup for reshoots. Edward is already there getting his "sex hair" done. I nod to him, then put my AirPods in, blaring No Resolve's cover of "The Greatest Show" in my ears. The beauticians poke and prod me, then turn me loose, looking worse than when I got in there. I guess me looking haggard is believable.

Edward falls into step beside me, and I glance over, rolling my eyes.

He notices. "What?"

"Why do I look like day-old dog shit, and you look like that?" I gesture to his everything.

"You do not look like dog shit," he says, graciously. "You look like…you look like that day when you forgot about your chemistry exam and stayed up for three days studying only to get a C-minus."

I scowl. "I was never going to use that crap anyway. And if you would have helped me, then I wouldn't have had to stay up for three days."

"I barely knew you! And I still don't know why you signed up for it your sophomore year anyway. Oh, that's right, so you could breeze through your senior year. How did that work out for you again?"

"Well, I'm a millionaire now, so pretty damn well."

"So am I. Now." His laugh is warm.

"Don't forget to thank all the little people," I instruct.

He looks down at me and pats my head. "Thank you."

I move my head out of his reach. "You are only seven inches taller than me."

"Remember when I shot up our junior year?"

"Yes, I went from being eye to eye with you to standing on my tiptoes to kiss you." My laugh dies in my throat, and I clear it in embarrassment. "Anyway, I'm not that short. You're just abnormally tall, and your hair adds inches," I deflect in an attempt to wipe away the awkwardness.

He looks at me intently, then opens his mouth to speak. Thankfully, Ang and Bree are approaching, so I focus on them. They're both getting raises.

"You're running late, so put some pep in your step and come on," Ang says.

Okay, so maybe just a raise for Bree then.

I walk on set without another word or glance to Edward. He catches up, and we reshoot a couple scenes until Anton is satisfied, then I abscond with Ang and drag her to my trailer before Edward can restart our earlier conversation.

"What's the hurry?" she asks.

"Nothing; don't want to be late again," I reply pointedly. "So put some pep in your step and come on."

She laughs but quickens her step until we get to the trailer.

"I thought you were going to stop this running?"

"We had a moment, which tends to happen when we're reminiscing about the past, so I just don't want to continue it. It won't lead anywhere good."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do. So drop it."

She makes a motion of zipping her lips.

"Okay, so Jimmy Kimmell wants you for his show in December to coincide with the winter finale."

"Lock down a date, but I should be back in LA around that time. I don't want to do an interview I have to fly in for and fly out right after. Private jet or not, it's exhausting, and my eye bags don't read well on live television."

She makes the notations. "Also, Glamour would like you to be their January cover with an interview."

"That sounds fun. Haven't done them before."

"Oh, and Entertainment Weekly wants a cover story about this new triangle. Alec already approved it, but I figured you should know beforehand."

"Does Bree know to tell Edward?"

"Yes."

"He's gonna freak out."

"Bree can handle him. He's not your problem, right?"

"Shut it, Ang."

"Shutting it."

It's a week later, and though I'm not avoiding him, I'm not bringing up our past either. I keep it neutral, and he seems fine with it.

But today is different. Today is our first "sex" scene. I'm outwardly calm. Edward sits next to me.

"We have to kiss," he says, his voice quiet.

"Yes, we do."

"Should we have rehearsed?" He sounds worried.

"I think we've had plenty of rehearsal, don't you?"

"I didn't mean it like that."

I laugh. "I know, and it'll be fine. I don't normally rehearse these scenes. I prefer them to seem natural and not choreographed."

"But Jake is gay."

"Yeah, and it's like kissing my brother."

"Didn't look like you were kissing your brother," he muttered.

"It's my job to make it look passionate, Edward."

"That's what I'm worried about."

"Stop worrying," I demand.

Anton comes up. "Is everyone ready?"

I share a look with Edward, and I nod for the both of us. "Ready."

Anton takes his place, and we take ours. "Action!"

We go through the dialogue. Edward is stiff at first, and I can see Anton frowning at the screen.

I yell "Cut" and tell them we need a few minutes, indicating they need to back away.

"Take five!" Anton yells. Everyone but us disperses. Edward groans and stares at the open space above us. "This is humiliating."

"Look at me." He ignores me so I say it again. His eyes meet mine. "This is awkward for everyone, including me, and I'm a trained actress. Stop being in your head and just feel," I whisper.

He nods, and I beckon everyone back over.

I truly believed what I told him. However, the minute his lips touched mine?

I'm so fucked.

Edward

Today, I'm the one getting the hell out of Dodge. Without so much as a goodbye, see you later, or kiss my ass, I'm in my car, heading home.

I knew I was straddling the line between innocent and guilty when it came to Bella. I knew I was playing fast and loose with my marriage. But I convinced myself it was harmless flirting.

That kiss was anything but innocent—on both our parts. And I know it was "just a scene," but it didn't feel that way. Not for me. Maybe Bella had the right idea to keep her distance.

I bypass the living area where I know Jess is and head for the shower. I dutifully throw my clothes in the hamper on my way into the bathroom. I drown myself under steaming hot water and contemplate my decisions thus far that have landed me in such emotional turmoil.

"Babe?"

I stifle my groan. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay? You just bolted for the bathroom."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Long, grueling day. I just wanted a shower before everyone came over." For tonight's episode. She's been throwing these watch parties, and it's torture being forced to watch myself on screen.

"Okay, just checking on you. I'm gonna finish dinner. Quiche and salad tonight." She exits, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Jess has her good points, but I don't buy it for a second that she actually cares if I'm sick as long as she doesn't have to cancel tonight. Day after day, Thursday after Thursday, she and Lauren make plans about hosting this dinner party and that dinner party once we move to LA. How Lauren will fly down every other week if she can. I bite my tongue, but I don't know how long I can continue to do so.

The water turns cold, and I curse. You'd think a million-dollar apartment would have infinite hot water. Just my luck.

I take my time getting ready, just to look like a bum when I'm done. Not my words. I help her spread the appetizers out on the island like a Pinterest post. She snaps pics while I take my drink out on the balcony. I stay out here for a while until I hear my mother's voice.

I paste a smile on my face and play my second role of the day. I breathe another sigh of relief when the house is finally quiet again.

I fall asleep with minimal effort, thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol I've consumed, and slip into a world less tortuous than my life.

Jessica

I wait a full ten minutes after his breathing evens out, then slip out of our bed. I quietly grab his phone and his hamper and hide in the bathroom, the door ajar just enough to hear him if he gets up.

I choose the hamper first and locate the clothes he was wearing today. I search his pockets, but other than lint, I find nothing. I smell them, but it's him, no scent of her.

I steel myself and unlock his phone. At least, he hasn't changed his passcode. Lauren told me he probably had. I go straight to his text messages. Me, his parents, Alec, Eric, some restaurant adverts.

Bella. I click on her thread and start reading. The last message is from a couple days ago and was just telling him to be on set half an hour earlier. The first was him confirming how we should arrive for our set visit that day. In between is him asking her to call him the morning after our dinner party when I found out they had been a couple all those years ago. Other than that, just work related.

I went to the phone icon but only that one phone call from her when she called him back that day. It lasted less than five minutes.

Emails—nothing. I checked all his deleted files, and there was nothing.

Why am I doing this? He's much too loyal to cheat. But he's been acting weird lately. Lauren is sure he's cheating with Bella. So here I am, hiding in a bathroom, invading his privacy to prove her wrong.

That scene tonight. Where their characters ended up in bed together. All the flirting. Either he's a better actor than I thought, or he has some unresolved feelings for her.

Of course, he does. He hid her existence from you. He hid the truth from you all in the name of protecting her. The weight gain, the listlessness when we met suddenly made sense. He was depressed…over her. I saw him as a pet project. He had a bright future, and I was along for the ride. But he has far surpassed what I ever thought he would be.

So the question is, if he cheats with her, is it more beneficial to stay or go? Either way would be a financial win. But could I stay knowing he was with another woman? Would it drive me crazy, or could I overlook it? I'm not sure I want to wait around to find out.

I make an abrupt decision and put his things back where I found them.

Tomorrow, I'll find out more.

I put my plan in motion, and Edward is none the wiser. I arrive to have lunch with my husband. We eat, and he has to dart off for a writer's meeting. I can't attend due to spoilers, but I just smile, kiss his cheek, and tell him I'll see him later.

I make a beeline for the parking lot. Her gaze is unwavering when she answers her door.

"I just need to know if you've been sleeping with my husband."

She opens the door wider. "Come in."

The door closes with an ominous click as we stand facing each other.

I'm not leaving here today without answers.

Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for

You've been searchin' in the dark, your sweat soakin' through the floor

And buried in your bones, there's an ache that you can't ignore

Takin' your breath, stealin' your mind

And all that was real is left behind

– "The Greatest Show," Panic at the Disco