Thank you to Team Harpy. Let's see how Edward's holiday season went.

Chapter 12

Edward

"Happy Thanksgiving, Edward," my mother exclaims as she warmly hugs me. Dad patiently waits his turn. I'm suddenly aware of how blessed I am to have the unobtrusive parents that I do after spending the whole week with my in-laws. Only four weeks more to go.

Kill me now.

It's not that Waylon and Cynthia are horrible people. They're just indulgent of my wife and all of her whims.

I walk away when I hear Cynthia gushing over my mother's designer outfit, ignoring the questioning look my wife shoots me.

I escape to the balcony and let the cold wind slice through me. I take a sip out of my ever-present bourbon mixer.

"A little early for alcohol, isn't it?"

I smile amusedly at my father, who also has a drink in his hand. He chuckles as he brings it to his lips.

"They're driving you crazy already?"

I snort. "That woman is …" I bite off the rest of my response.

He sighs as he rests his arms on the railing. "You're not happy."

I don't meet his eyes as I respond. "Everything's fine."

"And I have oceanfront property in Arizona."

"Okay, George Strait, I thought you were off that country music kick."

"Eh, it comes and goes."

I laugh for the first time in over a week.

"You know I'm here anytime you need me, right?"

"Yes, Dad, I do know. Thank you."

He recognizes the end of the conversation and watches the view with me until we're called in for hor d'oeuvres.

I laugh softly into my drink. How did my life get this pretentious?

I manage to rally for the rest of the day, though apparently, not enough for Jess, who is waiting for me in our bedroom when I finally escape.

"What is wrong with you?"

"It's just a lot, ya know? Having people under foot for weeks at a time. And I miss work, I think. I'm not used to being off for this long."

"You miss work. Yeah, okay," she scoffs as she struggles to maintain her composure. "Look, I understand this is probably not where you want to be right now, but I won't let you embarrass me in front of my parents. So suck it up and come be social." She walks out without a backward glance, and after looking longingly at my quiet bedroom, I dutifully follow.

We spend the evening playing Monopoly of all things, and I socialize until I'm excused.

The next morning, I'm left alone as Jess and her parents go Black Friday shopping. I can only hope Mercedes isn't having a sale. My phone pings all morning with every purchase on my credit card.

I help her with the massive amount of packages and bags while she raises an eyebrow as if daring me to say something. I just force a smile and start the grill for dinner. I start thinking about how I'd rather be anywhere but here and get so lost in my head that Jess startles me by asking if the steaks are ready. They're a little well done but no one complains as we eat.

Each week is the same, though a few scripts are emailed to me for medical verification. I'm in a unique position as both medical advisor and actor to get to see the script before the rest of the cast. Bella isn't gonna be happy.

I smile at the thought of her and wonder how her holiday is going. Then Jess calls me for dinner, and I shake the thought away.

"It needs to go there." Jess takes the ornament from my hands and places it two inches from where I had it.

"Honey, it doesn't have to be perfect," Cynthia interjects.

"It does have to be perfect! It's our tree. It matters where the ornaments go."

Her mother and I stare in shock as she takes the box of glass ornaments and throws them to the ground, letting them splinter all over the ceramic tile floor before she storms off.

"What is wrong with my daughter, Edward?"

I grab the broom and start cleaning up before answering my mother-in-law. "We've just hit a rough patch, that's all. This job is more demanding than either of us thought it would be. We'll be fine. Can you take over while I …" I gesture in the direction of our bedroom.

"Of course."

I smile in thanks as I head to our room. Something's got to give.

She's lying on her side of the bed, her back facing the door. I lean against it for a moment just looking at her—the woman I vowed to love until death do us part. I don't think I could feel more disconnected from her if I tried.

I sigh and she sniffles. I walk around to her side and sit in the chair by the wall-length window she's blankly staring at.

"What's wrong, Jess?"

She scoffs and purses her lips, a sign she's determined to stay quiet.

"I can go back to the hospital, you know."

"You most certainly will not," is her sharp reply.

"Then what?"

"Maybe keep your attention on me, your wife, and off your ex-girlfriend."

"She's in California!"

"So you know where she is, huh?"

"That's where she lives."

"How many times a day do you talk to her?"

"Since we left work? None." I toss my phone to her. "Snoop to your heart's content. You won't find anything."

"'Cause you deleted it."

"'Cause there is nothing to find." I thrust my hand in my hair, twisting and tugging. "Jess, we can't keep going like this."

"None of this is my fault."

Of course not.

"Why don't we go away after Christmas with my parents? Just the two of us. There is so much interference lately, and I think we just need to get back to us, you know?"

"Go where?"

"Anywhere you want."

Her eyes gleam with interest, and she sits up, suddenly animated. "Paris sounds nice."

"I have to be back right after New Year's. We'd be rushed. How about we go somewhere in the continental US this time, and after we wrap for the season, we can go to Europe?"

She grumbles a bit, but I'm sure she realizes why we're able to drop everything and go on vacation. My job.

"New York City then."

"Done. You can plan the whole thing, and I won't even complain about all the shops you're going to drag me to."

She shoots me a look.

"Much." I smile. She smiles back, then sighs.

"I guess I need to go clean up my mess."

"I started and your mom took over."

"Thanks," she whispers. "I'm sorry."

"Me, too. I don't mean to be so distant. I'll work on it."

"I'll work on my attitude as well."

"Sounds good." I stand up, then help her stand, enveloping her in my arms. I kiss the top of her familiar-smelling hair and hope this means we can get past this.

Because for better or worse, she is my wife.

Christmas is a lively affair, everyone in a good mood, which I'm grateful for. I'm also glad my parents are hosting so I have a change of scenery. Jess and I have been doing better since our talk last week, and we leave tomorrow morning for New York. I'm actually looking forward to spending time together alone.

We exchange gifts and Jess is over the moon about the new diamond ring I bought for her. It's a three stone set that represents our past, present, and future. I get a long, lingering kiss for it. She got me a Rolex with a green face to "match my eyes". Of course, I already knew what it was because it's on the credit card statement, but I just hugged her and thanked her. It is a great watch, and I've been wanting one for a long time.

We have a great meal, courtesy of my mom, and we head home so we can finish packing for our trip and I can finish the last script and send it to Alec.

It's when I'm doing that my phone lights up with a text, and I've gotten texts already from some of the cast and crew. But this is one I've subconsciously been waiting on.

'Merry Christmas.'

I smile slightly, then type back a quick Merry Christmas, Bella before putting my phone down and finishing my work. I have a trip with my wife tomorrow, and I need my rest.

That should be my only focus, so why am I up in the early hours of the morning thinking of another woman?

New York is a loud, crowded, bustling city that I've been to once before this. It's not really my scene, but Jess is having the time of her life. She's laughing and smiling, dragging me to and fro in excitement.

And I'm just along for the ride. I've enjoyed this time with her, and I feel it's helping us. We spend the days running around, going to Broadway shows and eating at the best restaurants, and the nights reconnecting before falling into deep sleep. Rinse and repeat until it's time to go back home, and the next day it's back to work.

I've decided that I'm really going to have to start keeping my distance from Bella. And I know I chastised her for doing the same once, but unlike her, I'm going to explain why. I know she'll understand. Luckily, the script is going to help with that as Liam struggles to decide between Maggie and Irina. I haven't received the script where he decides just yet, but it's coming. At this point, it could go either way.

Is it wrong I hope he picks Irina?

Jess is extra clingy as I leave for work this morning. I know she's worried things will change when I get back home, but I'm determined not to let it. I give her a kiss, and she reminds me she'll see me later because she still has some finishing touches to bring to set today for the resident's lounge. We make plans to have lunch.

I'm lost in thought as I drive to work, and I see Bella pulling up to the guard gate two cars up. I make a point to pull around to the opposite side of the lot so I can avoid her. Of course, we have the read-through today, so the distance will be fleeting. I wait until she's in her trailer before leaving my car, and I meet Bree at the door as she rapidly fires my schedule to me on the way to my office. I listen with half an ear but know it will be on my desktop anyway.

I leave her at the door and collapse on my couch for half an hour before I'm supposed to be with the cast. I'm exhausted already. Time passes quickly, and I make my way to the room, interacting with Emmett and Jake as we proceed. I sit down with them, across from Bella, and pretend I don't see her baffled look as we sit near each other most of the time.

"Hope you all had a great holiday, folks! This episode is entitled `Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head'." He laughs at everyone's groans. "Only some of you will get rained on in this episode, I promise. Bella?"

She opens her script. "To be a good surgeon, you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture, and close. But sometimes, you're faced with a cut that won't heal. A cut that rips its stitches wide open."

I participate dispassionately as Maggie has to work with Irina while Liam is chasing his tail. There's a pregnancy—not Maggie's. Liam is explaining to Maggie why he let this happen. She rejects him. There's a moment with Maggie and Kate.

"They say practice makes perfect. Theory is, the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become one. The better you get at remaining neutral, clinical—cut, suture, close—the harder it becomes to turn it off, to stop thinking like a surgeon and remember what it means to think like a human being."

A round of applause, then we're done. I get up quickly and head to my office, shutting the door firmly, stopping just short of locking it. But that seems a little too paranoid.

It's almost the end of the day, and I breathe a sigh of relief two seconds too soon. A timid knock sounds at my door. "Come in." My tone is resigned.

She leans on the doorframe and looks at me.

"May I help you?"

"Yeah, you can tell me why you're avoiding me."

I busy myself with paperwork. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I can hear her move forward until she's standing right in front of my desk. "Oh, okay. Must be my imagination then."

I sigh and throw my pen down in frustration. "It's not."

"Things I knew for 200, Alec."

I involuntarily smile. "It's just … it's …"

"Jessica."

"Yeah. I owe it to her to make this work and I… we can't make it work if …"

Understanding dawns over her features. "If I'm in the picture," she finishes for me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

She smiles softly at me. "Don't be. I wouldn't want to be responsible for your marriage ending, even if nothing is going on."

"Isn't there, though?" I finally put into words what neither of us has.

Her eyes widen, but she immediately schools her expression. Silly Bella, I know you better than that.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she finally says.

"Yes, you do. We both do. We both know it would take very little for us to cross the line."

Her breathing hitches slightly.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I really am, but whatever this is"—I motion between us—" has to stop now. No more visits to your trailer or my office, no more lunches or sitting next to each other. We keep our distance until we have to film, then we go back to it. Understood?" Her mask slips ever so slightly, and the look on her face is killing me, but this has to be done.

"Understood." She walks to the door. "See you around, stranger." With a sardonic smile, she takes her leave.

She's pretending it doesn't bother her.

And I'm pretending I don't hear her crying on the other side of my office door.

'Cause I'm giving you up
Just like I did them Marlboro Lights
And I'm giving you up
The same way I did the whiskey on ice
And it's all so tough
You turned me into a man I don't even recognize
I'm giving you up
The same way you did me out in the moonlight
Yeah, I'm giving you, I'm giving you, I'm giving you up - Giving You Up, Kameron Marlowe

See you in two weeks.