Chapter 18
Edward
I hit snooze on my alarm and glance over at the empty spot in the bed. Looks like Jess didn't come home at all. She disappeared last night, and when I texted her, she replied with a simple "Lauren needs me". I briefly wondered what crisis Lauren had found herself in this time but thought better of it and just decided to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and go over the last script of the season in my office. Let's just say Bella and I are going to be very up close and personal this next episode.
I shake myself awake and shoot off another text to Jess and get ready for the day. I grab some coffee and drive to work in silence. My brain is so jumbled that even the slightest interference makes it want to short circuit. I just need to get through these next two weeks so I can just think about what I'm going to do about this shitshow my life has become. Of course, that is entirely my fault.
I check in with the guard at the gate, and I'm surprised he doesn't chit-chat like he normally does but shrug it off and park. I grab my phone to see if Jess texted me back, and she hasn't, but I have a couple of missed calls from my parents and a text from Alec that says "My office. Now."
That's ominous, so I make my way there and notice that the vibe is somewhat somber. No one is making eye contact with me, and I'm a little weirded out. I knock lightly on Alec's door and hear a curt "come in".
He's not alone, and by the look of Bella's red-rimmed eyes, she's upset. Our eyes briefly lock, but she quickly looks away. Alec doesn't, and I'm starting to feel very uneasy.
I shuffle from foot to foot and decide to sit down. No one speaks.
"Is something wrong?" I finally break the silence.
Bella sniffles, and Alec chuckles humorlessly. He grabs a stack of printouts and throws them across his desk where they come to a sliding halt in front of me. I pick them up, and my heart drops to my feet. A "fuck" slips out of my mouth.
"These are on the websites of every fucking tabloid from here to Austrailia and in between. Every social media post—Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok—has these pictures all over them. My two leads engaging in extremely inappropriate behavior behind the scenes. How long has this been going on?"
Neither of us answer because neither of us really know how to.
"I asked a question. Someone had better answer me."
"It started in high school, but you already knew that," Bella answers. "But if you need me to repeat it, we were sophomores when we started dating, and were serious until we … until I … chose to break things off to follow my dreams. Then we went our separate ways until last fall when I twisted my ankle, and well, you know the rest."
"You made it sound as if you just dated. Puppy love if nothing else."
"I didn't think it relevant to disclose the full information of our high school relationship, Alec. He was married and—"
"Well, it's fucking relevant now, Bella!" he yells. "And where is your wife, Edward?"
Oh shit. Jess. "I don't know," I croak.
"Of course, you don't," he mutters. "How long has this affair been going on?"
"It's not an affair," I object.
Alec incredulously looks from me to the pictures laying in front of me. "Oh really? What would you call it?"
"Pretty much since he started working here. It was emotional only until …" She gestures toward the table.
"That's not entirely true," I admit. "That altered elevator scene that you congratulated me on where Liam kissed Maggie … that was me not handling my feelings very well."
Alec groans and puts his head in his hands.
"You both need to make statements to the public. I know Ang and Bree are your acting publicists, but you might need separate outside help with this. This is out of their purview."
"Do you really think that's necessary?" Bella asks.
"You just went from America's Sweetheart to America's Homewrecker overnight. What do you think?"
She winces.
"That's not fair, Alec. You can't really tell from these pictures what actually happened in that room. It could've been a scene for Christ's sake. The only people who know are Bella and me."
"And the person with the camera, Edward. We can't forget about them. Do you two have any idea who did this?"
"I think it was Lauren, and I think Jess put her up to it," Bella states.
"Now, hold on a minute," I start to object.
"Jess is not some innocent little mouse, Edward. She's been suspicious before she had anything to be suspicious about. And Lauren made it very clear her opinion of me from the very beginning."
"How would Jess have even known?"
"She just said Lauren, who I hired for that photo shoot. Get with it, Edward," Alec says.
Bella's face is telling a different story. "Bella?"
"I told her yesterday after that last scene I was in," she admits.
"Why did you do that?" I yell.
She darts out of her chair and stands over me. "Because you might be okay with sticking your head in the sand, but I'm not! You might be able to live with the guilt, but I can't!"
"It's not like we slept with each other!" Now I'm standing.
"Yet. We haven't slept together yet. If things had kept going the way they were … We are not innocent in this, Edward. You just don't want to admit it."
"Admit what?"
"That your marriage is over and has been for a while. I know you want to do the right thing, and you think you can by staying married, but if you're pining after me and lying to her, how is that fair to any of us? We are not innocent in this."
That takes the wind out of my sails, and I fall back into my chair, watching as she turns away from me to gather her wits.
"Fuck, this is way worse than I thought. I'd rather you two just have said you boned 'cause you were both there instead of having actual feelings for each other," Alec interjects.
Bella returns to her seat. "So, what do you want us to do?"
"Get a publicist and put out separate statements, but have the publicists stay in contact with each other. Stay vague but stick as close to the truth as possible. Avoid each other as much as you can. We'll get through this last episode, then I have some decisions to make."
His tone has us both paying much closer attention.
"My hope is that this dies down during hiatus, but I won't have your personal entanglement ruin my show or my ratings. If I see that it is, then I may have to let one or both of you go."
Bella sucks in a breath but remains stoic.
"I'll quit."
They both whip their necks in my direction. "Bella has been on this show since the beginning, and let's face it, if I wasn't here, this wouldn't even be an issue. If it comes down to me or her having to leave, choose me."
"Edward …"
"Bella, I'm a doctor. I can still be a doctor. While this is fun, I don't have to have it. Quite frankly, it's caused a lot of problems. I've caused a lot of problems, and I'll step back if I have to, with no regrets. Well, not about leaving the show anyway. I have many regrets about my actions now that I'm facing them in the cold light of day. And no offense, Alec, but nothing you can do to me will compare to what my wife is about to do to me. Speaking of which, I request permission to take the day off to deal with some things."
"Permission granted. Both of you take the day to do damage control, but I want to see you both bright and early in the morning to get your finale scene done for the next episode without an audience. I'll email you the scenes I spent all night rewriting. That way, if I have to continue without you two, I have something to work with. We will be wrapping the season a few days early." With that, he dismisses us with a disgusted look.
We leave at the same time, but no looks, no words are shared. We go our separate ways like we did all those years ago and like we should've last fall before any of the rest of this started.
I pull out my phone and call Jess, but as expected, she doesn't answer. I'm an idiot, but I'm smart enough to know that she's seen the pictures, and if Bella's right, she may have been behind them. I try to call one more time but know I need to face the music personally.
Lauren's it is.
I'm not surprised when she opens the door with a glare. I'm not even shocked she tries to shut it in my face. I hold my hand out to stop it and push it open, entering her living room. Jess is standing up by the couch, her arms wrapped around her torso as if holding herself together. Her eyes meet mine, and I finally feel the full blast of the consequences of my actions. I stagger slightly but regain my footing. I can hear Lauren's voice, but I'm not focusing on her.
"Can you leave us, please?"
"This is my house. You can't just barge in here and demand I leave."
I finally look at her. "I know, but I'm asking anyway."
She looks at Jess, and they have a silent conversation before Lauren finally nods and leaves the room, disappearing down the hallway before a door softly shuts.
"Jess—"
"I don't really want to hear it, Edward."
"But if you'd just let me—"
"Let you what? Explain? How are you going to explain to me what I saw in those pictures? Let me guess; it's all in my imagination. Or Bella is completely innocent in all this. Oh, wait, the pics are photoshopped. Is that what you're going to say?"
"No. I wanted to come here and apologize."
"Apologize? For what?"
I sigh and walk farther into the room to sit opposite where she's standing. "For everything. This is all my fault."
"Damn straight it is. And hers. We were fine until she showed up!"
"Jess, no, we weren't. We were going through the motions. When was the last time we were truly happy?"
"I was happy! You're having some sort of fucking midlife crisis."
"Jess, you weren't happy."
"Yes, I was. Everything was finally coming together. You had this new, amazing job and more money than we've ever dreamed of. Good things were finally coming, and you ruined it all."
"I didn't care about the money, Jess. I was happy being a doctor. I didn't want any of this. You did."
"You are not about to sit there and blame me for your affair." Her eyes turn dark. "How long have you been fucking her, huh? How many times have you gone from her bed to mine?"
"I never slept with her. Not since before I knew you. I've never even been to her hotel."
"Then how far did it go? I want details."
"I kissed her … once. She kissed me … once. There were some inappropriate conversations on my part that she didn't engage in. She would usually shut it down pretty quickly." She sits down and just glares at me. "I know in your mind we had some illicit relationship, but the truth is, it was pretty PG. We rarely texted. There were a couple of phone calls, but it was normally about work. At work, other than when I could convince her we could be friends, she usually avoided me."
"Poor Edward. Pining after a woman who doesn't want him, and yet here we are. With the whole world seeing you feel her up in a closed room," she mocks.
"Those pictures aren't an accurate portrayal. Now, I don't know how they were obtained or how the press got them but—"
She smirks. "Me. They got them from me. Paid a pretty penny for them, too."
"Why would you do that?" I ask. I stand up and start pacing.
"Why would you carry on with someone other than your wife, and then be stupid enough to get caught doing it?"
"Is it that I did it or that I got caught doing it that you're upset about that you had to go and sell Bella and me out? This could ruin her career."
"I don't give a fuck about Bella Swan!"
"But I do!" I scream back. She blinks at that and falls silent, the only sound is each of us getting control of our breathing and our emotions.
"I know you do," she says, her tone lower and more even.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I feel like I led you on, but I was so confused. I'm still confused. I just want to do the right thing. I didn't mean to dishonor our vows, and we were gonna try for a baby, and everything just got so messed up."
"Let me be perfectly clear. There was never going to be a baby. I got an IUD a week after I offered that to you."
I rear back at that information. "But you said—"
"We both promised a lot of things that neither of us had any intention of following through on. You being faithful, me giving you a kid. I mean, could you imagine me being a mother? I have never had an interest in having children, Edward."
"Then why did you even mention it?"
"Because I was that desperate to keep you. Then Lauren talked some sense into me, and I went to the doctor. I'm surprised you didn't see it on the EOB. But you were never that astute. When I met you, you had all the promise but none of the ambition. I made you what you are today. So, the way I see it, we can do this one of two ways. We can call it even and work on things, or we can divorce, and I'll take you for everything you have. Your decision."
"Jess, don't do this," I beg. "Don't make this harder than it has to be."
"I didn't do anything. I haven't changed here. You have. Either way you choose, I'll be living the life to which I have become accustomed. You have until the end of the week. I'll be waiting to hear from you. And I'll be going home, so you'll need to find a place to stay, preferably nowhere near your girlfriend. You can let yourself out." And with that, she walks toward where Lauren had previously gone, leaving me alone.
I'm not spending another minute at Lauren's, so I hastily leave and decide to work on Alec's assignments. But I have no idea where to start. I groan and decide to text Bree to ask her advice and see if she's already beat me to it, listing the number of a local publicist she's worked with before. I'll call after I get home and pack a bag. I probably need to return my parents' calls as well since that's where I'll most likely be staying for the foreseeable future.
They don't answer but neither looks surprised to see me walking into the house with a couple of suitcases. Dad offers me a drink, and Mom offers me some food, but I know that in return, I'm about to have to spill the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. But they really only want to know one thing—now what?
If that isn't the fucking question of the century. Not knowing is what got me into this mess, but hopefully, making a decision is what will get me out.
I've spent all the love I saved, we were always a losing game
Small town boy in a big arcade, I got addicted to a losing game - Arcade, Duncan Laurence