"So, you really feel okay?
"I feel fine, Sam."
The three hunters were waiting in a check up room of the nearest hospital. Clearly, Dean physically looked way better than the day before, even if he didn't seem happy about the situation. Sam couldn't understand why, but Alina's hands were still shaking every time she thought about that man standing behind Roy. She hadn't talked about it with the brothers, because she wanted to make sure Dean was alright before doing anything else. So she was anxiously waiting in the check up room, sitting in a chair a few inches away from the brothers. She had to resist the urge to bite her nails, or shake her legs nervously, because she didn't want the Winchesters to ask questions before the doctor's return.
Luckily, she didn't have to wait too long since the doctor they'd seen earlier quickly entered the room with the paperwork in her hands.
"Well, according to all your tests there's nothing wrong with your heart. No sign there ever was. Not that a man your age should be having heart trouble, but, still it's strange it does happen."
Alina sighed in relief. Even though she was still concerned about the situation, knowing Dean was completely healed was the most important thing at the moment. His heart was fine. He was fine. She hadn't even realized how much weight was on her shoulders before that announcement.
"What do you mean, strange?" Dean questioned the doctor, unable to share Sam and Alina's relief.
"Well, just yesterday, a young guy like you, twenty-seven, athletic. Out of nowhere, heart attack."
Dean frowned at the news, feeling like his suspicions were being confirmed somehow. He thanked the doctor with a faint smile, but the moment she left the room, he turned back to his brother standing in front of him, with a serious look on his face. "That's odd."
"Maybe it's a coincidence. People's hearts give out all the time, man."
"No, they don't."
"Look, Dean, do we really have to look this one in the mouth? Why can't we just be thankful that the guy saved your life and move on?" Sam was so glad his brother was fine, he couldn't understand why his friend wasn't trying to support him. That was a good thing. Why wouldn't she move from her chair to jump in Dean's arms?
"Because I can't shake this feeling, that's why." Dean replied angrily, putting his jacket back on.
"What feeling?"
Dean was still confused about this, but he knew he was right. "When I was healed, I just...I felt wrong. I felt cold. And for a second...I saw someone. This, uh, this old man."
Alina's whole body froze at her friend's words. He'd seen him too?
"And I'm telling you, Sam, it was a spirit."
The young woman couldn't move from her chair. What was she supposed to do now? She could lie, pretend she hadn't seen anything, hoping Dean would give up and agree to leave without going any further into this. Or she could tell the truth...
"But if there was something there, Dean, I think Alina and I would've seen it, too. I mean, we've been seeing an awful lot of things lately."
Alina bit her tongue, struggling to make the right decision. If something was really wrong here, they couldn't leave without investigating. But it would be so hypocritical of her to do that. Dean was alive and well thanks to that 'Faith Healer' after all...
"Well, excuse me, psychic wonder. But you're just gonna need a little faith on this one. Sam, I've been hunting long enough to trust a feeling like this."
Sam was about to protest once again, but Alina stopped him when she finally stood up from her chair, with the arms crossed and an apprehensive look on her face. "I...I saw him too."
Her friends stared at her in shock. She was ready to lie until she'd heard the desperation in Dean's voice, when he was talking about trusting his feeling. He'd never doubted her, even when she was just starting to be affected by her Empathy, and didn't have any answer. He'd always believed her, tried to help her. How could she not do the same for him, now that he was the one with the unexplainable feeling.
She was convinced she would eventually regret that decision, but it was too late to go back now. Dean was already walking to her. "Hold on, you saw that man?"
He was now standing in front of her, but she just kept avoiding his eyes, trying not to look at him for more than two seconds while giving her answer. "If you're talking about the scary, wrinkled, vanishing man in a black suit...yeah I saw him. He was standing near Roy when you woke up."
Dean didn't know if he was happy that Alina could confirm his doubts, or even more scared that he'd been a part of something wrong.
And Sam was as confused as his brother. "Wait...why didn't you tell us, Alina?"
"Because I didn't wanna believe something bad was going on. But...Dean might be right."
She felt terrible, saying those words. And it got worse when she finally met Dean's angry eyes. She didn't know if he was more angry at Sam and her, or at himself, but it was still enough to break the girl's heart. He'd never looked at her this way before.
Sam noticed the cold atmosphere in the room, and sighed in resignation. "Yeah, alright. So, what do you wanna do?"
Dean thought for a moment, before giving his final answer. "I want you to go check out the heart attack guy. I'm gonna visit the reverend." And he left the room before they could object.
Alina watched him walking away from them, with a bitter taste in her mouth. He would usually take her with him every time the three of them had to split up. But he hadn't even hesitated to leave her behind, and that was the confirmation Alina needed. Dean was definitely mad at them. He was mad at her, and she couldn't blame him.
What had she done...
LATER
"What are we gonna tell him now?"
Alina couldn't stop walking around the motel room, fearing the moment Dean would pass the door.
"We tell him the truth." Sam replied with the same guilt in his voice. He couldn't take his eyes off his laptop and all the informations he'd gathered. "That we didn't know."
Alina scoffed in frustration. "Right. I'm sure that'll be enough." She regretted her sarcastic tone when she noticed how ashamed of himself Sam looked. She couldn't let him feel this way just because she was angry. So she sat next to him at the table, and grabbed his hand.
The two friends shared a faint smile, knowing they could understand each other. They had both agreed to come here, they were both ready to do anything for Dean. So they would both be responsible for his anger.
And of course, they didn't get more time to prepare themselves because less than five minutes later, the door opened, and the third hunter entered the room. He looked even more upset than earlier, and that detail wasn't helping the other two.
They watched him silently throwing his keys on the bed, and taking off his jacket. "What'd you find out?"
Alina felt like she couldn't control her breathing, and her heart was beating so fast it could've jump out of her chest when Sam responded quietly.
"We're sorry."
Dean threw his jacket on the bed and approached the table Sam and Alina were sitting at. "Sorry about what?"
Even though Alina couldn't stand the look on Dean's face as he was waiting for their answer, she also couldn't let Sam take all the blame. So she talked while her friend was still searching for his words.
"Marshall Hall died at 4:17."
Dean was completely stunned by the girl's words, because of what it meant. "The exact time I was healed."
"Yeah..." Alina was staring at the table like a child being scolded, but didn't stop anyway. "So, Sam put together a list of everyone Roy's healed, six people over the past year, and he cross-checked them with the local obits."
Sam nodded and was now able to finish the explanation. "Every time someone was healed, someone else died. And each time, the victim died of the same symptom LeGrange was healing at the time."
Dean looked at them for a moment, trying to assimilate the information. He couldn't believe what that meant. He had to be wrong. "Someone's healed of cancer, someone else dies of cancer?"
"Somehow." Sam confirmed. "LeGrange...he's trading a life for another."
"Wait, wait, wait." If Dean was upset when he'd entered the room, he was now furious. "So, Marshall Hall died to save me?"
Alina didn't want it to be true either. Not because of her own guilt, but because she knew Dean would hate himself for that, even if he wasn't responsible.
"Dean..." Sam tried to comfort him as much as he could. "The guy probably would've died anyway. And someone else would've been healed.
"You never should've brought me here." The eldest Winchester turned his back at them.
His friend had tears in her eyes, but couldn't let him see that. She had to ignore the little voice in her head, calling her a monster. "Dean, we were just trying to save your life."
"But, Alina, some guy is dead now because of me!"
"We didn't know..." Sam added in a broken voice that made Dean calm down a little. He saw the way Alina was blinking multiple times, like she usually did when she was trying not to cry in front of everyone. He hated to see her cry, so why couldn't he just comfort her? How could he leave her like that?
"The thing I don't understand is how is Roy doing it?" Sam kept talking while he still could. "How's he trading a life for a life?"
"Oh, he's not doing it. Something else is doing it for him."
"What do you mean?"
Alina already knew who he was talking about, but still wondered how he could be so sure of it. Did he know who that man was?
"The old man Alina and I saw on stage. I didn't wanna believe it, but deep down I knew."
"You knew what? What are you talking about?" His brother kept asking, confused about Dean's theory.
"There's only one thing that can give and take life like that."
And while Sam was still waiting to hear it, Alina finally got the answer. She'd read her mom's journal so many times, she didn't know how she could've forgotten about them. Her parents even used to warn her when she was little. She didn't think she would ever meet one, but there wasn't any other explanation.
"We're dealing with a reaper." Dean finally said, confirming Alina's fear.
The three hunters started their researches after that. Printing numerous pictures and texts about reapers, the angels of death.
Dean had decided to join the other two at the table, to find as much informations as possible. And while he sometimes took quick glances at the girl sitting in front of him, Alina couldn't even turn her head in his direction. She didn't deserve to do so, so she stayed focus on the papers in front of her, trying to find something useful. She needed to be useful.
"But you said you saw a dude in a suit." Sam pointed out, still unconvinced by that theory.
"What, you think he should've been working the whole black robe thing?" Dean replied with his sarcasm back. "You said it yourself that the clock stopped right? Reapers stop time. And you can only see them when they're coming at you which is why I could see it and you couldn't."
"What about Alina? She saw it too."
Alina didn't take her eyes off the text she was reading. "I guess it's just another thing Empaths have to deal with..." She sighed, unable to see the sad look on Dean's face. He was afraid for her now that he knew what they were facing. Could she be in danger?
Sam suddenly remembered a detail he'd seen on the stage. A cross. And he simply had to look through some papers on the table to find what he was searching for. He held a card up with a snort. A Tarot card with the same cross drawn on it.
So Roy had to be using black magic to bind the reaper, forcing him to tread people's lives.
Dean put his cup in the kitchen sink, then leaned back against it, knowing what he had to do now. "Ok then we stop Roy."
"How?" His brother asked innocently.
"You know how." He didn't want it to be the reason why Alina was finally looking at him, shocked by what he was implying.
"Wait, what the hell are you talking about Dean?" Sam was the first to object. "We can't kill Roy."
"Sam the guy's playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book."
Alina couldn't believe Dean was talking about killing a human being. Yes, he felt guilty about that person who'd died to keep him alive, but he couldn't react with the same violence. "We're not going to kill a human being, Dean." She said with confidence, but looked so afraid at the same time it almost made Dean flinch. Was she...scared of him?
"She's right. We do that, we're no better than he is." Sam agreed with his friend. "If Roy's using some kind of black spell on the reaper, we gotta...figure out what it is. And how to break it."
And to the two friends' relief, Dean eventually accepted this plan. They had to wait for the next service to get these informations, so all they could do now was to rest until the next day. Of course, Sam and Alina were exhausted after spending days worrying so much about Dean, they had only slept for a few hours in total. So when the night arrived and Dean went to take a shower, he knew he would find his brother and his friend asleep in their beds once he would come out of the bathroom.
And while they were indeed both sleeping when he walked out of the room, the hunter didn't expect to find Alina curled up in the couch that didn't look comfortable at all.
Sam was lying in his bed, and there was enough space for the both of them, but the girl had decided to give him some space. After the recent events, she was too scared of having a nightmare and couldn't take the risk of disturbing her friend's sleep. He needed to rest just as much as she did. And since she obviously couldn't sleep next to Dean, she'd ended up on the couch. It didn't bother her, but the Winchester still awake simply refused to let her sleep there. Their relationship was tensed ever since this afternoon's revelations, but he would never stop caring about her.
So once he made sure the girl was asleep, he gently lifted her in his arms and carried her to the free bed, carefully laying her down to put the bedsheets on top of her freezing body.
The fact that she was still sleeping after this, just proved how tired she really was. She usually would've woke up the moment he approached her, trying to defend herself against this unknown presence. Dean couldn't help but smile faintly at the memories of her, jumping at him with whatever weapon she had under her pillow at the moment, and scolding him for being too silent around her when she was asleep. She'd rather have him being as loud as possible in the room, than walking on his tiptoes like a suspicious person, with suspicious motives. These were her words, and Dean had laughed at her the day he'd heard them.
She was so peaceful now, it was almost as if the last days had never happened. She was still wearing his old shirt as pajamas, her hair still fell in front of her face every time she would move just a little. She looked beautiful...and sad. She usually had a faint smile on her lips when she was sleeping, but right now, she was clenching her jaw and frowning.
Dean hated to see her like that...
LATER
Alina sat up in her bed, panting and sweating from the nightmare she'd just escaped from. She slowly came back to her senses, relieved to be back in the real world, and...confused to be in a bed. She'd clearly fell asleep on the couch, and she had no idea of how she'd ended up here. Until she saw the person who was now sleeping there.
Had Dean carried her to the bed? Why? She'd left the bed for him. Even if he felt better now, he'd been through a lot and needed to rest correctly.
The young woman knew she wouldn't be able to sleep anymore, so she pulled her legs against her chest and wrapped her arms around them, watching Dean's sleeping figure in front of her, trying to reassure herself.
She had dreamed of him. She had dreamed that after weeks of feeling only anger from him, he'd ended up turning his back on her. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't forgive what she'd done to save his life. He finally saw her as the monster she was so afraid of becoming, the one who had tortured innocent patients with her suffering, the one who had let another person die so that he could live. Yes, she couldn't know what was going to happen, but what terrified her the most was that even knowing the truth now, she would be ready to do it again for him. It was so hard to admit it, but it didn't bother her that Dean hated her as long as he stayed alive. She felt a tear rolling down her cheek at the thought of losing him.
She needed air. So she discreetly slipped out of the sheets, and walked to the door. She wasn't wearing any shoes, and of course it had to be raining. But soon, she realized that the sound of the little drops falling from the sky was covering all the bad voices in her head. She didn't know what time it was, but it was still the middle of the night so everyone was still asleep. And nothing else mattered because she could finally be alone for a moment.
She looked at the empty parking lot in front of her, and without hesitation, ran under the gentle rain to stand in the middle of it, simply lifting her face towards the sky with her eyes closed. Now even if she started crying, she wouldn't be able to feel or see her own tears and that was a comforting thought that made her slightly smile.
"Alina?!"
The girl's eyes bursted open when she heard Dean's voice calling her name. She almost thought she was hallucinating because of her nightmare, but as she quickly looked towards the motel, she jumped in surprise. She wasn't expecting him to be already standing next to her in the parking lot. He'd put back on the clothes he was wearing before taking a shower, and was holding his jacket in his hand.
"What are you doing here? You know what time it is?"
Alina still didn't know if that was actually him, or just a fragment of her imagination, so she kept staring at him in astonishment. "I...I don't know. Night?"
Dean couldn't help but scoff at her answer, rolling his eyes as he put his jacket on the girl's shoulders. The warmth she instantly felt from it, made her frown worryingly. Because that meant he was actually here, outside, in the rain.
She was fast to take his jacket off of her, and give it back to him. "You shouldn't be outside, Dean! You need to rest!"
"Me? It's clearly been several days since you last slept well."
She usually would've replied with a sarcastic joke, like 'Whose fault is that?' or 'Don't insult my pretty face like that!'
But she couldn't do that anymore, she didn't know if she'd ever be able to do that again. Every time she looked at him, she could only see the unforgivable reflection of herself in his eyes. She simply shook her head and took a few steps away from him. "I'm fine. I just needed some air, don't worry about me and go back inside."
And she stood there for a few seconds, waiting for him to leave. But he didn't. Why was he still there? Why was he looking at her like he was expecting something from her?
Why did she have to be so stubborn? Her hair and clothes were soaked by the rain, and she had her arms crossed in front of her, trying to protect herself from the cold. But she was shaking. That last detail worried Dean more than anything else. What if she was trembling in fear of him? Or because she was struggling not to show her weaknesses in front of him?
Or was she scared of losing him? Could he be that important to someone?
He couldn't help but think about what Layla's mom had told him earlier at Roy LeGrange's house. She was right, he didn't deserve to live more than her daughter. He didn't deserve to live more than anyone else.
However, there was one thing he needed to know now that he'd recovered. Things were still awkward between him and Alina, but he couldn't leave this parking lot without asking the question burning his lips.
Alina expected him to eventually go back in the room without another word. But instead of leaving, he actually got closer to her once again, still looking straight into her eyes with a certain vulnerability that prevented the girl from running away. He seemed lost in the ocean of questions he had on his mind. He seemed scared. "Dean?" Alina's voice was shaking from regret, thinking she was the one making him feel this way.
"Why'd you do it?"
His words echoed in the girl's mind like a riddle she couldn't decipher. What was he talking about? She'd done so many terrible things in just a few days.
The perplexity in her eyes almost hurt Dean's feelings, because he hadn't stopped thinking about that moment ever since it had happened. But of course, it couldn't have been as important to her. He cleared his throat, hiding his disappointment behind his usual serious face. "You said I could ask you once I'd feel better. So I'm asking now."
And the realization hit the young woman, who couldn't believe he was actually talking about the kiss. She didn't think he would remember it after all that happened. They weren't even done with that new job, and it had to be their most difficult one to work on up until now since Dean, Sam, and her were all emotionally involved in it...
"Why now? We still have a lot to do and we're both tired..."
"I don't care." Dean cut her short, taking one more step towards her even though he was already really close. Alina didn't move, simply looking up at him. She couldn't even feel or hear the rain anymore, she was like mesmerized by his expectant green eyes. "Why did you kiss me?"
She repeatedly opened and closed her mouth, searching for the right way to answer him. She was so taken aback by his question, she was starting to wish she'd ran away while she still could. But no, after forcing him to come here, after trading another person's life for his, she owed him some honesty. At least he was talking to her, and he wasn't looking at her like she was a totally different person. "I...I just didn't want a reason this time. Every time we've kissed, there was always a pretext, something for me to hide behind. I was so afraid of losing your friendship, I guess almost losing you for good made everything else...pointless."
Finally. Maybe that wasn't the answer he wanted to hear, but it was the truth and she'd kept it for so long, even from herself, she couldn't believe how good she felt now that it was out. A discreet smile appeared on her lips as Dean was still staring at her, completely still and silent.
But now that the rain had let up, Alina could feel the wind gently caressing her naked arms and legs. Or maybe it was just because she'd been suddenly brought back to reality with her confession. Anyway, she was freezing and couldn't catch a cold in the middle of an investigation. Not that she was someone who could easily get sick...
"Well...you were right, I am tired. I should probably go back to sleep."
She looked into his eyes one last time, waiting for him to say something, or maybe to just stop her from leaving, giving up just a few seconds later as she could only see sadness in his eyes. That obviously wasn't the reaction she wanted him to have, and she quickly felt ridiculous for expecting anything else than that.
The young woman looked away as she sighed and started walking away from him. He was angry at her, that was understandable. Someone had died because of him. Because she couldn't let go of him. But...didn't she deserve to be at least a little angry too? She'd done something bad, really bad...and necessary!
"By the way, you were dying Dean!" She'd stopped walking just a few inches away from him, and still had her back turned to him when she let out the words she'd sworn herself not to say. Yes, she really was tired.
She didn't even bother turning around to make sure Dean was looking at her. She just needed him to listen. "And I can't believe your first reaction was telling us to leave you in that freaking hospital bed! You're...you're such a selfish bastard!" Alina was actually so angry, her body turned on itself before she could even realize it, facing the hunter who was indeed, staring back at her. But even his sorry eyes weren't enough to stop her now. "You don't get to think so low of yourself! You don't get to decide whether people should love you or not! You don't get to die when you promised to stay by my side!"
The eldest Winchester felt like his whole world was being turned upside down by the girl's words, and by her eyes so full of rage. She was yelling at him but all he wanted to do in that moment, was to run towards her and pull her in his arms with all his strength. He'd thought he was protecting her by acting like he wasn't afraid of dying. How could he have been so wrong?
"I mean...without you I still wouldn't be able to mention Chris' name today! You were there for me when I needed you! You convinced me I wasn't a monster! You've helped me go through the pain of losing him, but Dean...the thing is no one, not even Sam or my mom, would've been able to help me go through the pain of losing you!"
Alina's head was aching. Everything she'd kept buried inside of her for the past few days was finally coming out. And it was hurting her. But it was also hurting him. Both of them wanted to cry, yet none of them was able to show this weakness to the other.
For the first time in his life, Dean felt like he really mattered for someone. He'd never even mattered for himself, so how could that girl say those things about him with so much confidence in her voice?
Maybe he didn't deserve to live more than anyone...but he wanted to live for her. She deserved it.
However, he was so focused on his own messy thoughts that his friend took his lack of reaction for a negative reply to her confessions. She'd poured her heart out for him, she'd told him all the things she wouldn't tell anyone else...and he didn't care?
"Do you seriously hate me that much?"
Dean realized he'd stayed silent for way too long, and started to panic. He wasn't good with these kind of things. "I don't hate you."
"Really?! 'Cause it's still raining, I'm still freezing, and yet here I am, still talking about my stupid feelings with a guy standing as still as a freaking statue!"
She wasn't actually mad at him anymore, she was mad at herself for doing something so embarrassing, with such a bad timing. She should've told him all of this way sooner. It was too late now...
"I'm sorry..." She said in a lower voice. "I'm being completely erratic."
"Alina..."
"It's okay, I just really need to dry myself off."
Alina quickly turned around and started rushing towards their motel room. She felt so stupid. Why was she so stupid?!
"Alina wait!"
As she heard Dean running after her, she just walked faster to get to the room before he could reach her. And she successfully opened the door, at the same time he was trying to grab her arm. They both instantly noticed Sam lazily sitting on the side of his bed, like he'd just woke up.
The hunter watched his best friend and his brother entering the room with sleepy eyes, but was unfortunately lucid enough to see their wet clothes and how much the young woman looked upset. They stood there for a moment, surprised to find him awake.
"Hey I heard you screaming, are you okay?"
Alina's face turned even more red than the color itself. That was even better. She didn't know how to react, so she just let out a nervous laugh and went to her bag near the couch.
"Alina come on..." Dean tried to stop her once again.
"Don't. I get it, 'no chick-flick moment', right? I don't know what I was thinking." She walked pass Sam's bed to get into the bathroom, obviously followed by Dean.
And if the eldest Winchester was already lost in his answers when they were alone, it felt even more impossible to talk with his brother right next to them. Alina took the opportunity of his silence to grab his towel on the sink, and put it on his chest to gently push the hunter away from the bathroom without having to touch him directly. Dean walked backwards, staring at the girl he'd hurt with his messed up mind. They both stopped once he was back in the bedroom and was now holding his towel himself.
Alina shared a quick smile with Sam. "Everything's fine. Go back to sleep." Her gaze then went to Dean for a short moment before she definitely shut the door behind her. She wasn't sure if he could still be standing behind it after a few seconds, so she went as far away from it as possible, put her face inside her towel, and silently insulted herself in both English and French.
I'm at my grandparents' for the weekend but I really wanted to post! I hope the corrections were good enough since I maybe wasn't as focused as I can be at home. Hope you liked this chapter, I feel like it was maybe a little too cliché with the rain, but the ground is always so muddy in that episode it also seemed accurate in a way...
So anyway, we got Alina's confession, I think we all know what's gonna happen in part 3!
Love u guys! Thanks again for the support! See you in part 3! Have a good day/night!