~ CHAPTER II: ON THE ROAD ~

The first thing Will did after he left Quantico was call Doctor Alana Bloom. He knew it was a cowardly move — she would be in her office, and she was going to be teaching his classes for him. The least he could do was ask her to take care of his dogs in person. But after their last encounter...well, there was a very good reason he didn't want to see her face-to-face or be in a room alone with her.

It was embarrassing, really. Alana was a kind, intelligent, and beautiful woman and a great colleague, but it hadn't been until the Hobbs case and Abigail's subsequent hospitalization that they had really talked much or even been alone in a room together. Will had awkwardly flirted with her for weeks, and just when he'd thought that he might be getting somewhere, she'd stopped by his house and caught him at the tail end of an auditory hallucination. Will had taken a hammer to his chimney and fireplace, certain that he'd heard the scratching of an animal trapped in there, only to come up empty. When he saw her face, he just knew that she'd realized that there hadn't been an animal. That it had all been in his head. So he'd kissed her, and she had rejected him. Looking back on it, it made sense why she had, but he'd been so off-balance, hurt, and confused that he'd driven over an hour in the snow to tell Hannibal about it.

It hadn't been one of Will's brightest moments. Thankfully, Hannibal hadn't made him feel stupid for it, although he had seemed a little exasperated. But the whole situation definitely made Will reluctant to see Alana again. He was already bad at socializing, so he could imagine this would be a thousand times worse. He didn't want to see the pitying but curious look in her eyes, as if he were a lab specimen being studied for his interesting mind, something to feel bad for but also to keep at arm's length. He didn't want to have the awkward conversation about how she still cared about him or how she would consider dating him if he was more stable or any of that bullshit. He didn't want to think about it. It would just make him feel all the more lonely and isolated.

So instead he called her.

Will waited to dial Alana's cell until he was on the highway, and she picked up after the third ring, concern coloring her voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Alana, it's Will Graham. Sorry for the late notice, but Jack's put me on a new case and I need someone to look after my dogs while I'm gone. Would you be able to do that?"

"Of course." Alana's tone was warm, maybe overly so — or was he reading into it? — and Will gripped the steering wheel harder than necessary before taking a deep breath and loosening his grip.

"Thanks, Alana. I appreciate it."

"No problem."

A long silence stretched between them. Will ran a hand across his beard and tried to think of something, anything, to say. He settled on: "And thanks for teaching my classes while I'm gone."

Alana's voice had a touch of wry amusement to it. "You're welcome. I think Jack would have a fit if I didn't."

Will chuckled. Silence unfolded between them again, impossible to bridge. Finally, he began, "Look, Alana, I'm sorry —"

"No, don't," she said quickly. "I'm sorry, too. I was unprofessional. I...I gave you mixed signals because I was confused about my feelings."

A sharp surge of bitterness stabbed through him. Before he could stop himself, he said icily, "And now you're no longer confused?"

He regretted it instantly when he heard Alana's sigh on the other end and imagined the pained look on her face. He gripped the steering wheel tighter as she said carefully, "Will, please don't make this harder than it needs to be. We've already talked about this. I want to be your friend, and it's not that I'm uninterested, but my...professional curiosity would get in the way of a healthy, functioning relationship."

"As would my instability," Will said with unmistakable bitterness.

Alana's voice was quiet but resolved. "Yes. As would your instability."

Will watched the dreary, late autumn Virginia landscape go by and said nothing. The silence stretched like a sticky spiderweb between them, too loaded and bogged down to be cleared away, until Alana said, "Will..."

"Thank you for agreeing to take care of my dogs, Alana."

He hung up.

If Will hadn't been on the highway, he would have rested his head on the steering wheel. It had been even worse than he feared, and he knew, although he didn't want to admit it to himself, that he had actively made it worse. What a fucking disaster. No wonder he'd been single for so damn long.

He sighed heavily and pondered for a moment whether he should wait to call Hannibal until the bitterness had made its way out of his system, but he vetoed it almost immediately. Hannibal was a psychiatrist. He could handle it. And frankly, Will could use the reminder that somebody saw him as more than just a useful but unstable profiler or a fascinating psychiatric case.

Will dialed Hannibal's home phone and listened to it ring as he watched the road. It was remarkable how much the gloom in his mind lifted just hearing the ring cut off as Hannibal picked up, followed by his heavily accented voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Hannibal, it's Will. Did Jack call you already?"

"Funny you should ask, I just got off the phone with him." Will heard the clink of ceramic in the background and imagined Hannibal in his kitchen, making lunch. His stomach nearly growled at the thought. "Another killer on the loose, hmm?"

"Yeah." Will relaxed slightly, his grip loosening on the steering wheel. "Did Jack brief you on the case?"

"Only the barest of details." From the lightness in Hannibal's voice, Will could imagine the amusement on his face, betrayed only by the slight crinkling at the corners of his eyes. "He asked me if I would be able to come along with you to Louisiana under the pretense that two minds are better than one when catching a killer. But I doubt that is his only motivation for sending me."

Will half-smiled, half-grimaced. "He doesn't want me there alone," he said, unable to mask his bitterness. "Not after the last case."

"Nor should he," Hannibal said reasonably. "You experienced a traumatic event. Anyone would be understandably shaken by such an experience."

"You experienced it, too," Will said, a little crossly. "Were you shaken?"

"Yes." Hannibal's response was immediate and matter-of-fact. "It is not every day that one's patient dies followed by a close encounter with a serial killer."

Will frowned slightly. "Did..." He cleared his throat. "How did it feel? To kill Tobias?"

He imagined Hannibal on the other end of the phone with the curiously neutral expression he got during conversations like these.

"Necessary," Hannibal said simply. "He was going to kill me. I did what had to be done."

Will nodded slowly, even though Hannibal couldn't see him. The silence that followed felt nothing like the excruciating silences between him and Alana. With Hannibal, silence was comfortable. Contemplative. Unassuming and void of expectation. Will could exist more comfortably around Hannibal than most people he'd ever met, and he was feeling especially grateful for that now.

"Uncle Jack is worried about you," Hannibal said, breaking the silence.

"Not worried enough not to send me on a new case," Will grumbled.

"Jack is willing to sacrifice your well-being to catch his killers." More ceramic clinked in the background and then halted. "I am not. If you are truly concerned, Will, I can step in as a medical professional and tell Jack no."

Will shook his head vigorously before remembering that Hannibal couldn't see him. "No, no, I...that won't be necessary. I just wish Jack would ask me if I want to continue instead of telling me that I will."

Hannibal hummed in affirmation, and Will felt slightly better. He drummed on the steering wheel.

"So, uh, did Jack tell you that he wants us to leave for Louisiana today?"

"Yes."

"I was thinking we could meet at Dulles airport around two and book a flight to New Orleans, unless a later time works for you? My house is less than half an hour from the airport."

"Perhaps three would be a better time. I still have to pack for the trip. Any idea how long it will be?"

Will shook his head. "No. These things can last anywhere from a few days to several weeks. Better pack for a long-term stay."

"Okay, I shall meet you at the airport at three. Till then, Will."

"Mmhmm. Bye."

Will hung up, sighed, and spent the rest of the drive lost in thought, brow slightly furrowed.