Hello wonderful readers, thank you so much for the favorites and the reviews. I know I haven't been posting very often but I do think of both my stories every day, and each time I get a notification from one of you it encourages me to pull up the story and write a few lines!

Bella's POV

"A false ID?" Asked Carlisle, surprise flickering briefly across his face. He turned away from me and walked behind his desk, dropping into his chair. I knew it was impossible, but he suddenly just looked so tired. In response to his question I gave an almost imperceptible nod. He brought his hands up to his face and rubbed his eyes, before settling his elbows on his desk, his chin perched between his fingertips.

"Are you in trouble, Bella? In danger of some kind?" His voice was gentle. But the worry in his words was obvious. This was going to be harder than I thought. "Please, you don't have to just disappear, I can help you solve whatever problem you might have found yourself in. Or if you're not comfortable talking to me about it, perhaps Esme? Or Alice? Or someone different altogether, someone not in the family."

Yes! I wanted to shout. I want to see them both. I want to go back to the way things were! But I would not say that now. I couldn't. Not only was I terrified by the idea, I was also ashamed. Carlisle had already become one witness to my deteriorated state, I didn't want anymore. I didn't want their pity. I refused to be nothing more than a charity case to them.

"If you can't get it for me that's fine. Or I don't know, if you're not willing to, I understand..." I was rambling. For the last week I had gone back and forth trying to decide if it was worth going through the awkwardness of asking him. And now it felt like he was going to say no. Immediately my internal monologue turned self-deprecating, what had I been thinking coming here today? "I'm sure it's risky and whatnot. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I should get going-" Taking a step backwards, my hand began to move towards the doorknob.

"Bella- I already have what you need."

His words stopped me up short, my eyebrows narrowing in skepticism. I had not been prepared for that answer. I had convinced myself he would say no. Or in the best case scenario I had imagined him agreeing, but needing at least a few weeks to gather everything I'd asked for.

"You…you already have fake papers for me? A driver's license?" The relief that I felt was clouded by confusion.

"Everything. Passport, driver's license, social security number. Birth certificate. Forged high school diploma." He shifted slightly in his seat, his expression bordering on uncomfortable. "It's at home. I can get it to you by tomorrow if you'd like. Or I could even ask Esme to bring it here now, though then of course she would be in the know."

Still in shock, I stumbled over my words, "But-I mean, why would you have-that is, how long have you-"

He hesitated, holding my gaze, gauging how I might react, "I asked Jasper to procure the documents the evening after your first visit to our home in Forks."

A stone the size of my fist dropped into the pit of my stomach. "Why?" I whispered.

When I saw the pain on his face I knew it was genuine. It was perhaps the first time since seeing him two weeks before that I wondered if maybe leaving Forks hadn't been all that easy for them either.

Another few seconds passed before he explained, "Because after seeing Edward and you together, after seeing you at ease in our world, I knew it was time to prepare for every possible outcome. There was no turning back. Or so I had thought. From that moment on, there was always a chance that something might happen and we would have to leave, and that you would have to leave with us."

The heaviness in my heart began to grow. I didn't think there was anything left for the inklike hole to consume, but the blackness billowed out from my chest, enveloping me in its folds. It had been a long time since the feeling had been this bad. For the last few months I had yet to go any length of time without taking something that would keep the suffocating fog at bay. But now Carlisle's words brought back memories I had paid dearly to suppress. That evening at their house played back with perfect clarity. Every one of their faces looked back at me, I could remember the way the light had filtered through the trees surrounding the house, I could remember the warmth, how good it had felt to stand among them. How I had been so nervous beforehand and ended up feeling at home within the first introductions. The simple, clean, smell of their home filled my nostrils once more. The crackling sound of onions frying in the kitchen. Alice's tinkling voice. I couldn't turn it all off. You would have to leave with us. Leave with us. Leave with us.

But I didn't, did I?

Lost in the rush of such visceral memories, a few moments went by before I realized I was vigorously shaking my head, my arms clenched tightly around my abdomen.

"Bella?"

The hole in my chest continued to expand, threatening to turn me inside out. I needed something to make it stop.

"Bella!"

From behind the haze I could see him approach, could see him raise his arms as though to grab me. I flinched and took a step back, colliding with the door behind me. He froze.

The wood of the door was cold. I felt myself slide down the smooth surface until I was sitting on the floor, knees pressed to my chest, holding myself together in one piece.

"Deep breaths, Bella." His voice was close, as though he was kneeling before me, but I refused to look, instead resting my forehead against my knees. Eyes clenched shut. But I still did as he said and forced myself to inhale until my lungs filled with sterile hospital air. I blew it back out through clenched teeth.

"Would you like me to get you some water?"

I didn't raise my head but simply nodded. The door behind me pushed slightly against my back as he opened it just wide enough to slip through. As soon as the door clicked shut I reached into the front pocket of my jeans and pulled out what I needed. I slipped three of the small white pills between my lips and swallowed.

Nothing happened at first. Which I had expected. The last few weeks it had begun to take longer and longer before the pills did what I needed them to, though I was crossing my fingers that adding a third one would speed up the process. As I waited for the effects to settle over me I played back Carlisle's words, the significance of them making my stomach hurt. After that first visit to their house he had already accepted me as part of the family. He had prepared for everything. He had imagined that one day they would have to leave, but that I would obviously have to go with them. Instead I had been left behind, an easy target for Victoria. Anger flared up in me towards Edward. But instead of letting that rage get the better of me I tried to focus on what this new information meant when it came to Carlisle and the rest of the family. Was it possible they might not have wanted to leave? Did Carlisle or one of the others take my side, arguing that I should go with them? But if that was the case then why hadn't they just told me? Though wait, if what Edward said was true, that he didn't want me, then of course the others wouldn't keep me in the family anyways. My thoughts were becoming muddled, too many questions and not enough answers. And too much fear of discovering the truth.

Suddenly, the warmth I had been waiting for grew out exactly from where I knew it would, from the empty space above my heart. It filled the black abyss with the softness I knew I had been chasing for over two years. Leaning my head back against the door, I closed my eyes, allowing the wave of near-euphoria to push back the darkness. I felt a grin spread across my face. I was sure I'd never felt this good at that damn house of theirs. Not even the subtle pressure of the opening door pressing against my back could snap me out of the hazy bliss.

"Oh Bella, no…" At the sound of his voice I peeked up in his direction. He stood right above me, a paper cup in his hand. The only way to describe the look on his face was devastation. I felt a twitch of annoyance, surely he couldn't be feeling so badly when I was finally feeling so good? I suddenly wanted to be on my own, where the pain in his eyes couldn't tamper my respite from the pain.