Chapter 8: Let the Chunin Selection Exams Begin!

As my team and I were walking through the village we came across a particularly rectangular shaped rock with eye holes in it that I knew, for a fact, was there the moment these kids decided to follow us. I just let them have their fun because why not? My teammates also decided to play along since I chose not to say anything. It was a few minutes into this that I decided to confront the kids.

"Hey Konohamaru, you do know that rocks are in fact, not perfectly symmetrical, yes?" We then hear a bit of shuffling and an explosion... and some coughing kids.

"Agha! *cough* *cough* we used too much gun powder." Konohamaru cries before introducing the infamous 'Konohamaru Ninja Squad'. I sighed at them.

"I already know who you guys are, ya'know? What's up? Shouldn't you kids be in class right around now?" They looked at me sheepishly.

"Uh... well, you see Boss... we just thought maybe you could teach us better, kore!" He says with his own peculiar verbal tick.

"Yeah Boss, you're like a super strong Ninja already and you haven't been a Ninja that long." Udon continued.

I decided to stop their little routine right there. "Ugh, look guys. I've been training really hard every day since I was four years old. And for many of those years, the thing I did most was study and read books. Learning new things is important if you want to become strong, because a strong body requires a strong mind to accompany it. Too much of one and not the other creates weaknesses that can be easily taken advantage of." I tell them, in what the 'Leaf 12' like to dub my instructor voice.

"We know Boss, but it's just so boring!" Konohamaru cries.

"Why don't you teach us some cool jutsu instead?" Moegi pipes up.

"Well for one, you're way too young to be using any of the jutsu that me or my teammates could teach you. For another, how can I teach you a jutsu if you guys don't know how to train your Chakra Nature Transformations, Chakra Control, or Chakra Shape Manipulation?" I asked them and got the expected result.

"Uh... What are those, Boss?" Udon is the one to ask.

"See? Now run along and get to class. We'll play later when I visit the Old Man, alright?" I shooed them away and they took off running.

"Um, they don't teach any practical lessons on that in the Academy, Naruto." Sakura, ever the obvious points out.

"I know, but they don't." I say with a grin and my teammates just sigh at my childishness.

Not a second later I flickered to intercept the kids before they ran into Kankurō. "You guys need to learn to be more aware of your surroundings. Now run along and make sure to look both ways next time." I tell them.

"Uh... sure thing, Boss. Thanks!" They take off once more.

I turn around and give the sand siblings a serious glare. "You should be sure to remember that this is not your own village to do with as you please, Sand Nin. Beating up kids for no good reason is a good way to get sent to prison at minimum. Never mind the Hokage's grandson. Now tell your creepy teammate to cut off the killing intent before I do it for him." I say raising my own.

I noticed that this caused the three Sound Nin hiding in the roofs to tense up, possibly readying themselves to get the hell out of dodge. My little warning also had the added effect of getting the other three squads of the Leaf 12 to make an appearance. All in rather menacing fashion, too. So, my group looks much more menacing, and it has little to do with our numbers.

He chooses to appear before me in a Sand Body Flicker, and we have a stare down. I maintain my intent at the same level all throughout. Jonin and ANBU start to appear on the roofs, preparing for anything. He eases up his intent and steps back before asking. "What is your name? I am Gaara of the Sand" He asks me in his dry monotone.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki of the Leaf. I understand your excitement, but let's leave it for the exams." I respond in my own frigid no-nonsense tone.

"I await you there, Uzumaki Naruto." He says before turning around and walking away with his terrified teammates. Although whether of me or him I have no clue.

"Man, oh man, what was that about Naruto?" Kiba asks to lighten up the atmosphere.

"Just putting some visiting Ninja in their place. Nothing to worry about yet." I reply as I turn to the Elites and bow. "I apologize for the scare." They all nod and vanish. Mom stayed a moment longer to give me a look that said we'd be talking about this tonight.

"Ugh, by the Sage. I love her, but she's such a nag." I think after she leaves.

"You say that like you just found out, kid." Kurama comments.

"Well, yeah. She was so much more loving and compassionate when I was younger, ya'know?" I responded.

"Ah, yes. You mean before you started reproducing with unknown females in other lands?" He continues in a mocking, but also somehow genuinely curious tone.

I just keep my mouth shut since he's got a point there. I think mom feels like she went wrong somewhere with me, and I don't like how that makes ME, feel… I should give her a hug when I see her tonight. That'll convey more than words could… at least, I hope.

I come back to my senses and decide to give everyone a warning about Gaara. As much as I like his character, before his fight with Naruto, he was a wacko.

"A word of caution," I start to talk, "If any of you ever come into contact with that red head during the exams, do everything in your power to leave the area post-haste. That guy is out for blood and will kill for the fun of it. Do not underestimate him, he will kill you the first chance he gets, and that's if he's stable like you just saw him." I warned my friends. They looked at me horrified.

"What... What do you mean that's if he's stable?" Hinata asks worried just like all the others.

"Gaara, is a special kind of Ninja. One that is created when a Tailed Beast is sealed inside of a human container. They are called Jinchuriki, and rarely ever live happy lives. Treated like dirt in their own homes, some even have their own villages try and assassinate them because they fear the power of the tailed beast. Rather stupid if you ask me. Ever hear of a self-fulfilling prophecy?" I asked rhetorically, but everybody nodded with an understanding look on their faces.

I continue, "That's Gaara right there. Hunted and shunned to the point of insanity, he'll kill anything on a whim and not think once about it. It's instinctual. His teammates? They're his siblings and you saw how they treated him." I finish with the same tone of voice I used with Gaara.

They gasp and look appalled. Then Hinata looks at me sadly. "He's-" Hinata was about to speak but I squeezed her hand slightly to tell her to keep her thoughts just that. Thoughts. She gives me a sad look that Ino and Tenten notice, along with Shikamaru; they wisely chose to keep their questions for later.

We stayed in silence as we continued walking aimlessly throughout the village streets. "So, did you guys get nominated too?" I ask, interrupting the silence.

"Yup, we're totally going to participate." Kiba says and Akamaru yips.

"Will you be attending, Naruto-san?" Shino asks.

"Sure thing. We can't be the only ones not to go. I can't imagine Ino letting her team wait another six months." I say grinning at my fellow blonde with what was apparently a sultry smile that got her going.

She fanned herself with her hand and blew her bang back as she responded. "Y-You're right about that, Naruto. I can't let Sakura and Hinata beat me at becoming Chunin!" Ino recovers admirably with her ever-present competitive spirit.

"Good." I reply.

We walked a bit more in silence and I noticed Lee staring off with a contemplative look on his features.

"Hey, Lee?" I look at him and his team. "What's up? You're even quieter than usual." Everyone focuses on him, curious.

"I am fine, Naruto. I am just worried that perhaps I may not be able to beat him without killing him. I'd wish to avoid doing so, if possible, should we ever come to fight." He confesses.

"I understand, Lee. But if it's between his life and yours, I'd pick yours every time. Don't let your sense of honor doom the rest of your life. If you have to use that knife of yours to chop him to bits, do it. Because I guarantee he won't show you the same mercy you would." I tell him, trying to get him to understand my point and sigh.

"Hopefully it doesn't come to that though, and we can all avoid confronting him altogether." I finish and give him a reassuring smile and a half hug from the side.

"Yes. You are right, Naruto. Youthful as always." He says a bit more upbeat.

"Hm" I hum back in response with a grin.

"Hey Choji, you got those coupons your dad got us? I'm feeling some barbecued pork ribs." I turn to my plump buddy, and he grins.

"I'm always prepared, Naruto. Let's Go!" He yells out at the top of his lungs, and we all flicker out to the restaurant together. It was a good time, and I got to treat Hinata as my girlfriend in public for once, so I was happy. We all had a good time.

Hinata also told me that Ino and Tenten would have their turns to be my 'girlfriends for the night' in our next outings. I didn't mind; I wasn't going to play favorites, because if I did Hinata would be the only one I'd spend time with. Ino and Tenten would just be… cough… ahem… I… uh… I'll keep that thought to myself… Ahem.

As promised, mom came to my place to talk about my earlier interaction with Gaara and his team. I had my own thoughts I wanted to make known, so this came up perfectly.

"Hey, honey. How'd your outing go?" mom asked, a little awkwardly.

"It was great." I told her with a smile. "How was your mission? I didn't know you'd be back so soon." I sat on the couch across from her.

"It was a simple mission. That technique of yours really has done wonders for my mission success. Thanks again for teaching it to me." she told me with a small smile, picking up the teapot to serve my favorite tea.

"Hm. I really didn't think I'd make a new technique by accident while trying to replicate a different one. Happy accidents." I said taking a sip of my tea.

"Ah, perfection." I think as I savor the tea.

"Naruto, what was that confrontation about earlier today? I hope you aren't picking fights with other shinobi." She said with a hint of concern in her voice.

I felt bad that she was so worried I'd strayed in some form. "No, mom." I tell her with a small sigh. I looked at her sadly. "The guy in the catsuit was going to hit Konohamaru for accidentally crashing into him, and the red-head was throwing his killing intent around like it free was ryō. The guy is also the sands Jinchuriki and I've heard that he's not exactly stable, so I needed to assert some dominance for things to not go awry."

She looks at me for a moment before sighing. "I see. Well, that certainly explains the chakra spike. You never throw that much power around unless you're training with Lord Third." She gives me a warm smile. "I'm glad that you're okay."

I smiled back at her and finished my tea in silence before starting. "Mom… I… I'm sorry for not being as careful as I should be… I… didn't mean to make you worry and feel like I've lost my way…" I told her, a bit more subdued and quiet than I normally am.

"I know…" she gives me a sad smile. "I just worry about you. It's what moms do. But thanks." She sat next to me and gave me a hug. I hugged her back and nodded in her neck.

"I love you, mom… I missed you…" I tell her in a quiet tone of voice.

"I missed you too, Naruto." she said, caressing my hair and tightening her hug.

"You know I'll never leave you, ya'know?" I tell her and tighten my hug as well.

"I know, son… I'll never leave you, either." She kisses the top of my head, and we continue our embrace.

I fell asleep at some point and mom did too, since we woke up on the sofa with me hugging her and her cradling my head in her bosom like she used to when I was younger. I felt bad, that must have been murder on her back. I know it was on mine, but mom's hugs are always warm and comfy. She didn't seem to mind it either, but mom never complained when it came to spending time with me.

The day of the exams, July 1st, had arrived, and we made sure to avoid the obvious Genjutsu for the weaker teams without anyone making a peep about the issue. We then each met our sensei before entering room 301. There were a lot of Genin here, but I only cared about five of them. Those being Kin Tsuchi, Karin Uzumaki, Orochimaru, Kabuto, and Gaara. I was also looking around to find the Chunin plants to cheat off of. I found them quickly. I then made a clone that walked up to Karin and started talking to her. It dispelled a few minutes later.

Clone's POV start:

"Hey there, miss. I noticed that we have a similar chakra signature and was wondering if we were maybe related in some form." The clone greets Karin hoping to make a good enough first impression.

She looks surprised, and then asks, "How are you here? I just saw you… over… there." She looks at the original.

"Ah, that's the original. I'm just a clone. didn't want to make too much of a commotion." The clone responds.

"I see... um... My name is Karin Uzumaki. I live in the Land of Grass." She responds, a bit weary.

"It's nice to meet you, cousin." It tells her with a smile. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki of the leaf, pleasure to make your acquaintance." The clone continues and holds her hand, kissing it lightly. "How long have you been a Genin?" It continued, curious, since Karin did not look like a well-trained shinobi in the slightest.

Karin blushes at my clone's forwardness and gets a little closer to whisper. "I… I've been a Genin for about a year. I'm only here as a team medic, though." She says, a bit downtrodden.

"Why is that? You're an Uzumaki, you would excel on the battlefield." The clone asks, only then remembering what Karin was likely being treated as. It scowled internally.

"I… I have an ability-" she begins but the clone interrupts her.

"I know. So do I, and I'm still the strongest person here… bar the freak in disguise." The clone motions to the clearly not well disguised Orochimaru.

"I… I've only been allowed to work at the hospital with my ability… so I've never gotten training…" Karin said, a hint of bitterness in her soft, shy tone.

The clone holds her hand tightly, reassuringly. "Well, Karin. I… I can help you leave that place… if you want. And… maybe you can come live here… instead, ya'know?" The clone said a bit embarrassed at being so forward. "Maybe you could even come live with me after the exams? I can help you become stronger, and maybe teach you a few things about… us…" It finishes, hopeful she'd agree and doesn't misunderstand that last part as an intimate offer. I don't think I can handle more girls right now.

She blushes at the offer, totally getting it wrong, and looks hopeful for a moment before she glances toward Orochimaru's direction and sighs sadly. "I... I don't know if I'll be able to go with you. But I'd like to. Maybe we can talk after the exams?" she asks with a bit of hope.

My clone smiles and syncs its sensing ability with hers, and they smile brightly at one another. Karin then blushes a bit and moves a little closer to the clone. The clone gives her a tight hug and kisses her neck slightly, taking the opportunity to squeeze her butt gently and marking her with a tracking seal. It whispers in her ear, "Don't worry, Karin-chan. We'll be together sooner than you expect." It places both hands on her rump, squeezing it again for good measure and giving her a deep kiss on the lips. Before it grins at her and dispels. Leaving a flushed Karin and a confused Grass team.

Clone's POV end

I sigh at my molester clone. I was hoping it wouldn't act on my very clear genetic attraction for red-heads, but alas, it was just as horny as I'd expected it to be. I decided to scan Karin's emotions and notice that she seems very happy and... horny? "God, Damn it! What is it with the people here?" I cry internally.

"Well, at least she wasn't put off by the very clear molesting she received. That's a… well… not exactly a good sign, but at the moment I'll take what I can get. Maybe she'll fall for Sasuke again this time, too." I think to myself.

"Now... How do I get Kin to play ball?" I searched for Kin's chakra and am rather disappointed that she's so weak. "Hm... I'll have to do something about that. But I think I have to get her to not fall for me this time. Although she is one fine honey. Damn, I think she's what? Seventeen currently? Fuck I might get another spanking after this test… my poor, poor little butt. Your Sacrifice shall not be in vain!" I thought, giving in to my more real attraction to brunettes with a bad attitude and resting bitch face.

I snapped myself out of my thoughts and started to look around, searching for the Hidden Rain Team. I liked those guys back in the day.

But after a moment of the rookies keeping quiet, Kabuto rears his ugly head and starts to talk to us. I signal for Sakura and Kiba to play along and for the rest of us to gather any useful information for later. He talks about his Ninja Info Cards, and I decide to bite the bullet.

"Tell me what information you have of the Sand Shinobi: Gaara of the Sand." I then signal Sasuke to ask for my and Lee's info afterwards.

"Ah, so you know so much already. That makes it easy. Let's see here." He pauses to read for a moment. "Gaara of the sand. New Genin just like yourselves, has eight C Ranks and look, one B Rank. It also says he's never been injured on mission." I nod, that tracks. Everyone else starts to get suspicious now that they see what I'd been signaling them for. Sasuke asks about Lee and me.

"Let's see... Rock Lee first. It says here that his team's got 220 D Ranks, 31 C Ranks. His best skill is his Taijutsu, his other skills are undocumented." He finishes.

It tracks. I nod my head and Sasuke does the same. Everything he said about Lee is publicly available. Now let's hear my info.

"Last but not least is... Naruto Uzumaki. Rookie of the year this year, his team's got 124 D Rank Missions, 2 C Rank Missions, 1 B Rank, 1 A Rank, and... 1 S Rank?" He stops and looks at me.

I grin at him. "Gotcha, motherfucker." I think as I signal to the rookies - Traitor. Spy. Avoid at all costs. –

He tried to continue reading but I stopped him. I didn't need my business thrown around. I was about to tell Kabuto not to spill my guts to the competition when the Sound Team burst into action. I moved Kabuto away in the same motion I used to grab the card and swiped his whole deck of cards while I had the chance. Dosu, not liking that he missed the first time, tries again and things play out like normal. I took the opportunity to have my clones place tracking seals on all of them since they gave me the perfect opportunity to do so.

As soon as my clones dispel Ibiki Morino makes his entrance and scares the shit out of the scrubs.

He notices my group and grins. I wave at him, and we get to our assigned seats shortly thereafter. The instructions are the same as in the Anime and the test flows similarly, with the one exception that I already have the Chunin with the answers located and proceed to use a personal creation of mine.

I call it the Genjutsu: Helix. It's a very subtle illusion that makes the image of whatever I target spiral up towards my field of vision so that I can read or look at whatever it is more clearly. It can't be detected unless you know what to look for, and I can manipulate the angle and closeness of the image. Like say, right next to my own paper so that I can copy test answers.

"HA! Genius. I knew getting good at Genjutsu would be worth it eventually!" I exclaim victoriously internally.

This was the technique I came up with after seeing my Yin Clones do their illusion absorption ability. Mom and Anko were begging me to teach it since it would make so many things easier for them when I showed it to them. I taught it to mom easily enough, but I told Anko she would need to wait until I was a Chunin to learn it. No real reason other than I just wanted to mess with her.

Anyway, after that little bit of clever subterfuge, I decided to leave Ibiki a message detailing mine and my group's suspicions about Kabuto. Along with the weird Grass Nin that seems to have more chakra than most Genin here, save for me of course. My reserves are even more ridiculous after these past three or so months of intense training.

Time passed with several teams getting booted out. Then during the final question my group and I remained stone faced, and wouldn't you know it? There were only fifteen teams left. Canon had twenty-six. It seems Naruto's little speech did more harm than good. I literally just saved thirty-three lives by keeping my mouth shut.

Ibiki then congratulated us and was about to let us go when Anko – impatient, sexy lady that she is – burst in through the window and greeted the remaining candidates. "Alright you maggots! This is no time for celebrating. Your second Exam Proctor, Mitarashi Anko is here to take you to the next Stage of the Chunin Selection Exams!" She says merrily and most of the candidates sweatdrop.

I just grin at her and Ibiki deadpans, "Read the room, Anko. You're early. Again."

She blushes and whistles at the amount of people. "Only fifteen teams passed this time, huh?" She comments. "That's pretty good Ibiki. Means we won't have to notify as many people for deaths this time." She tells him. The room collectively shudders at her remark.

"Alright, you'll be taking the next part tomorrow. Get with your Jonin Sensei to find out the place and time. You're dismissed." She commands, and everyone starts to leave save for myself and Shikamaru. I walk over to Anko and give her a hug. Casually copping a feel of her glorious buttocks without any hint of shame or anyone noticing. She gives me a knowing look and a smirk.

"Hey kid, glad you made it. Now, why exactly are you still here?" she asks seemingly ignoring my hands on her big sexy butt.

Shikamaru is the one to respond. "We found a spy in these exams. And Naruto seems to think that there might be a dangerous ninja here in disguise. He has all of the details." He finishes pointing at me lazily and I hand Ibiki my test.

"I planned to leave the info here on my test sheet for you to give the Old Man. But I have a feeling it would be best if I came along with my own two cents." Ibiki and Anko look serious as they read my findings.

"Excellent deduction skills, kid. Not many Chunin would have caught this so easily. Also, how did you cheat? I never noticed how you did it." Ibiki asks impressed.

Anko answers for me. "He used Genjutsu. He created a type of optical illusion that spirals the image of whatever he targets into his direct line of sight. He can manipulate the image for ease of use or subtlety. It's pretty ingenious, he said he'd teach it to me when he makes Chunin." Anko grumbles the last part with a pout.

Ibiki looks doubly impressed. "Hm. I can see why you're one of our most promising new shinobi. Keep it up and you'll be a Jonin in no time. Now, let's go to the Hokage." He compliments us and we disappear in a flicker.