37
Edward needed a break from the constant speculation about what would happen once Bella 'saved' them from their curse. Saved them, while sacrificing herself. It wasn't fair, he thought as he slipped out house and headed into the woods. The voices inside his head were too loud, too hopeful. Especially Rosalie. He didn't begrudge her the happiness she felt at getting a second chance to live — to really live — but it felt like a slap in the face when all he wanted was a life with Bella.
He stopped at the edge of the line that separated the reservation from the rest of the area. The line that marked the treaty. There wasn't a treaty anymore, Jacob said, but didn't feel right taking those steps across the line so carelessly.
Edward, he heard Carlisle call out to his mind.
He didn't turn and look at him, knowing if he did, he might let his anger at his 'father' get the best of him. It wasn't practical to be upset at him. It wasn't Carlisle's fault, of course, but his anger had to be directed at someone, and he couldn't direct it at Bella. Not when she was already struggling with her decision in the first place.
"Edward," Carlisle said and when he turned, he saw the man he had thought of as his father standing behind him. "I know you're upset."
"Upset?" He shook his head. "Upset is not the word I would use, Carlisle. Devastated, heartbroken, pissed as fuck, are better choices." Edward sighed. "I just found her. I just fucking found her, and now, I'm just supposed to let her go, become human again? Live without her? How do I do that, Carlisle? How do I live without her when just the idea of her not being here makes my chest hurt?"
"I don't know."
"Nobody knows," Edward murmured, turning his back to him. "I've hated my existence for so long, Carlisle. For so long, but now, now I would give everything I have to spend the next thousand years with her."
When Carlisle didn't reply, Edward turned and looked at him, finding him staring at him with a frown. "Say something."
"There's nothing I can say, Edward. It's bullshit. All of it is bullshit, but if she doesn't . . ." Carlisle shook his head. "If she doesn't, we will all die anyway."
"I'd rather die, then live without her," he lamented.
Carlisle frowned, but didn't reply.
"It's not fair," Edward whimpered, and when the man reached for him, he put his hands up, stopping him. "Don't touch me."
"It's not fair, Edward. Not to you, especially not to Bella." Carlisle shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "I've watched you suffering for a hundred years, waiting for her. Didn't even know she was the one you were waiting for, but she was." He sighed. "I just wish I knew how to save her, to save you, and stop Aro from the ending the world."
"Me too."
And without giving him another glance, Edward stepped over the treaty line and started running.
—Stay—
Bella stood in the middle of the meadow, her hands pressed against the front of stomach. She had her eyes closed as she listened to everything around her. She could hear every part of nature, the wind blowing through the trees, the sound of the river flowing toward the ocean. She inhaled a sharp breath, taking in the scents of the bobcats, deer, cougars, coyote and black bear.
She snapped her eyes open as she heard someone coming up behind her, and when she turned, she felt her body tense as she found Rosalie standing behind her. Her butterscotch eyes were wide, full of a hope that Bella despised.
"Hey," Rosalie murmured, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.
"Hey."
"So, um, kind of a big day, huh?"
Bella nodded.
"I could . . . I could fix your hair, if you want me to."
"Yeah, sure."
Rosalie turned and took a couple steps away from her, before stopping and looking back at her. "Thank you."
"Why are you thanking me?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "I know I haven't hidden the fact that I'm happy that you're going to try to give us a second chance at being human. It's selfish. I mean, I know it's selfish, I do, but I never wanted this life, Bella."
"I know."
"You do?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
Bella tried to smile, but knew it didn't come off the way she meant for I to. "Edward shared some of your story with me. Not all the details," she added when she saw the darkness fill Rosalie's eyes. "Just that you never wanted this life."
"None of us wanted this life," she quipped, wrapping her arms herself. "Except for maybe you."
"I didn't want this, Rosalie. I just didn't want to die. I still don't."
"Suppose that's true, but still, you were given the choice. I wasn't. I was . . ." Rosalie closed her eyes for a moment. "I was brutalized by the man I thought I was in love with, Bella. He and his friends, if you can call them that, decided I was nothing more than someone they could take from. They left me for dead, and I wanted to die. I wanted my life to end, because living through that kind of torture broke me into so many pieces, Bella. And then Carlisle found me. He thought he was saving me. Saw something in me, I guess, worth saving. I think he hoped I would be a good match for Edward," she added with a snicker. "But he never looked at me twice. I'll admit to being quite put off by his disregard to my presence. Not to sound vain, Bella, but I am beautiful."
"You are," she admitted.
"A couple years later, we were living in Tennessee. That's where I found Emmett. Things inside our house were intense. Mostly because I made it clear that I didn't want to be a vampire, and I never let Carlisle forget that he took that choice from me. I blamed Carlisle for changing me, for not letting me die. I was hunting when I found him. Found Emmett, I mean. He'd been attacked by a bear. I carried him all the way back to the house. Couldn't explain why I was drawn to him, why I needed to save him, I just did. I wasn't strong enough, though, so Carlisle changed him. When he woke up, he smiled and I . . . I fell in love with him, Bella. I did."
"And he fell in love with you."
Rosalie nodded. "I don't regret my life with him, Bella, I don't, but I thought we would never be more than this, you know? Damned to live the rest of our lives in the bodies of teenagers, forced to endure high school over and over again. I want to grow old with him, to be able to really live."
"And you'll get it," Bella assured.
"But I don't want to lose you, either," Rosalie whimpered, taking a step backward. "You're my family, Bella, and I don't . . . I don't want to lose you."
Bella wasn't sure what to say. This wasn't a choice she wanted to make, it was a choice she was being forced to make. If she said to hell with everyone and Aro killed her, took her power, they would all die and the world would end. Bella would rather save the world than let it go on without them in it.
"I'm sorry," Rosalie murmured. "I'm making this all about me, aren't I?"
"It is about all of you, though, isn't it?" Bella asked. "Do you know why I'm willing to do this, Rosalie?"
She shook her head.
"Because even though you didn't initially agree to let Carlisle change me, you saw how much I needed Edward, how much he needed me, and you said yes. I was at the end of my life, and you put aside your selfishness and said yes." Bella walked over to Rosalie, placing her hand on her cheek, feeling her lean into her touch. "I'm saying yes to you, Rosalie, and to Emmett and Jasper and Alice. I want . . . I want you live and grow old together." Bella pulled her hand back and stepped away from her. "I just wish I had little longer. I'm not ready to let him go, Rosalie. I love him so much."
"Oh, Bella," she whimpered, reaching for her, but Bella put her hands up in front of her and took several steps backward.
"I'm sorry, Rosalie, but I can't . . . I just can't right now."
And not letting her stop her, Bella turned and started running. Several minutes later, she found herself standing outside of the high school. Once again, the parking lot of full of fragile little humans who had no idea the dangers around them. Her attention was drawn to the same group of children standing next to a dark blue mini-van. She almost laughed when the girl with the curly hair slipped and grabbed onto the arm of the spiky-haired blond, who grinned as he steadied her. Maybe he didn't understand that girl slipped on purpose just to gain his attention, but it worked based on the way he was speaking animatedly with his hands.
"Um, hi."
Bella turned and looked behind her, finding the tall, thin girl with the glasses standing five feet or so away from her. She fidgeted with the bracelet dangling around her wrist as she shifted from one foot to another. Bella could hear her heart racing.
"Hello."
"Are you new here? I saw you the other day," she said.
"Yeah, kind of. It's a long story."
The girl nodded, her eyes shifting to the parking lot and when Bella followed her gaze, she saw the girls group of friends watching them, almost protectively. "Sorry," she said, breathlessly as she looked back at her. "You just . . . you just seem so familiar."
"I do?" Bella asked, and the girl nodded. "I used to live here a long time ago. So long, it seems like another lifetime ago."
"I've lived here my whole life, so . . ." The girl shifted her weight again, her backpack jostling as her books moved. "I'm Angela."
"Bella."
"Are you a student?"
She shook her head.
"Oh." She almost seemed disappointed. "Well, I guess I should be going. Lots of homework."
"It was nice to meet you, Angela."
"You too, Bella. Maybe I'll see you around again sometime."
"Yeah, maybe."
Angela turned and hurried back across the street and to the parking lot, her small group of friends surrounding her, and Bella could almost hear them bombarding her with questions. The boy whose arm she had been on placing his hand on her elbow, drawing Angela's attention to him, and in that moment, Bella saw how nothing else mattered to her. He was her moon and stars. Just like Edward was for her, she thought.
—Stay—
Edward was standing inside his bedroom when he heard Bella approaching the house. Rosalie had arrived back almost an hour ago, and though she tried to keep it from him, Edward had seen her conversation with Bella in the middle of the meadow. Edward wanted to hate Rosalie for putting her hopes and dreams on Bella's shoulders, but if he were being honest, truthful, he would admit that Rosalie would give up her dream of being a human if it meant saving Bella's life. Simply because Rosalie knew how much Edward loved Bella.
He turned toward the balcony as Bella jumped up, landing with a soft thud before walking into his bedroom.
She leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed in front of her. "Everyone's waiting for us, aren't they?"
"They are," he confessed. "Alice is a little frantic. Seems to think you might have gotten cold feet."
Bella laughed. "Nothing cold about my feet. How about yours?"
"Toasty warm," he said with a smirk. "I was thinking —"
"Is that what I smelt burning?" she teased.
"Wow, that hurts, sweetheart."
Bella laughed and walked over, placing her hands on the middle of his chest. "I'm sorry. What were you thinking?"
"We should go away for a few days."
"We just got back from being away for a few days."
"I know, but if . . . if I only have a few weeks with you, I'd like to be a little selfish and spend the first few days of being your husband alone."
Bella smiled and nodded. "Okay."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, I mean, I won't deny being a little . . ." She shook her head as she sighed. "I don't know, overwhelmed doesn't really seem like the right word, but it's about the best I can come up with right now."
"Feeling a little overwhelmed myself," he admitted, placing his hand over hers. "I love you, though, and no matter what happens over the next few weeks, that will never change, Bella. I will love you with everything I have."
"I love you, too." She leaned her forehead against his chest. "I can hear Alice huffing."
Edward snickered before he pressed his lips against the stop of her head. "She can wait."
Bella tilted her head backward. "I just need a few minutes to shower and make myself beautiful."
"More beautiful." Edward released her and took a step backward. "I'll be waiting, sweetheart."
"I won't be long."
Edward nodded before he turned and hurried out of his bedroom, heading downstairs to the living room where everyone was ready and waiting for their wedding to start. Carlisle and Esme were standing next to the fireplace. Emmett had his arm wrapped around Rosalie, and Jasper had his hands on Alice's shoulder, almost like he was holding her in place, which he probably was. Irina and Kate were with Garrett, Alistair (who was glaring at everyone like it was their fault the world was in danger), and Zafrina, who admittedly looked out of place amongst all of them.
Eleazar and Carmen were standing next to them, though only she seemed somewhat happy to be there. It took a lot of control on Edward's part not to rip his head off and shove it up his ass. The man had kept so much of who he was, his time with the Volturi, and the truth about Aro, Marcus, and Caius to himself. Edward had once considered him family, but now, he didn't know how he would ever trust him again. Especially seeing as his deceit was going to cost him the love of his life.
Cain and Abel were in the back of the room, looking rather uncomfortable, too, but Edward suspected that had more to do with the fact that they were no longer wearing dark cloaks and had been given dark suits. They could almost pass for human, if their skin hadn't been so pale they almost glowed.
Tanya and Jacob were on the farthest side of the room, though Edward suspected that had more to do with the fact that none of them could stand being close to him. As Charlie had put it, he smelled like a skunk's ass after a hard rain, but even Edward couldn't deny that he made Tanya happy. He'd never seen her look at anyone the way she did him, and he understood. Jacob Black was her soul mate, just like Bella Swan was his. Only, she was getting the chance to spend the rest of her life with him, and he was losing the love of his.
"Is she okay?"
Edward looked over at Renee, who was glancing toward the stairs frantically. "Just a little . . . overwhelmed."
Renee nodded as she turned and walked away, but he heard her say, "Aren't we all?"
"Sorry about her," Charlie said, clearing his throat as he stepped over to the bottom of the stairs to wait to give his daughter away. "She's . . . It's not easy letting her ago. Again."
"No, it's not," Edward agreed.
"We thought we were giving her a second chance at life, Edward," Charlie murmured, walking up a couple steps. "Now we're losing her all over again. If I were Bella, I'd tell every last one of you to go to Hell, but then again, my daughter's always been better than me."
Charlie hurried up the stairs and a few minutes later, they heard the sound of the door to Edward's bedroom opening and closing. He walked over to where Carlisle was now standing, having agreed to marry them so suddenly. The living room had been filled with candles and flowers and Edward was wearing a new tuxedo.
Soft music started to play as everyone turned toward the stairs as Charlie escorted Bella down. She was wearing a simple white, silk wedding dress that was strapless and fit her curves perfectly. Her eyes met his and she smiled. How was he ever going to let her go?
Charlie walked Bella through their friends and family, stopping just a couple feet from him. Edward stretched his hand out to her, causing Bella to smile as she placed her fingers in the middle of his palm. She stepped up to him, placing her other hand on the side of his face, and a calmness washed over him.
I love you so much.
He smiled, loving the way she was sharing her feelings with him and just him. I love you, sweetheart.
Carlisle cleared his throat, drawing their attention to him. "Are we ready to begin?"
"Yes," they replied together, causing everyone to laugh.
With a smile, Carlisle started to speak again. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the union between Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan. We are blessed and honored to surround you today as you both commit to spend the rest of your time together as husband and wife." He paused. "When you came into our lives, Bella, just a few, short months ago, I never would have imagined the impact that you would have on all of us, but especially Edward. I've waited a very long time to see my son happy, Bella, so thank you for loving him."
She smiled as she looked from Carlisle to Edward. "Loving him is the easy part. It's letting him go that's going to be hard."
"For me, too, sweetheart, but we're going to make the most out of how much time we have left."
Bella nodded and looked back at Carlisle. "I'm pretty sure this is where you ask us some silly question, and we both say I do."
Carlisle snorted and waved a hand in the air. "Edward, do you take Bella to be your wife, to love her, to hold her, in the good times and the bad for as long . . ." He shook his head. "I almost said for as long as you both shall live, but I think instead, I will ask if you will love her for the rest of your existence."
"I will."
Carlisle nodded and shifted his eyes to her. "Isabella, do you take Edward to be your husband, to love him, to hold him, in the good times, and the bad, for as long as you both shall exist?"
"And longer," she said, bringing her hand back up to his face. "I love you with every part of my soul, Edward."
And even though, Carlisle hadn't pronounced them husband and wife, or even allowed them to exchange the rings that Alice had gotten for them, Edward pulled her against him, and in front of their friends and family, kissed her long and hard. How was he ever going to let her go?
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