Theoxenia
Azula had trekked across the world twice now. Now at the North Pole, the Daughter of the Sun was welcomed as coldly as the forbidding arctic winter. For everything there is a price, and Arnook, Chief of the Northern Water Tribe, saw in the exile princess an opportunity worth her weight in gold.
The Northern Water Tribe, despite the stiff competition from the garrisons of the Fire Army, had proved to be the least hospitable to Azula and her party of any place so far. Even having arrived on a thought extinct sky bison, under a white flag of truce, bearing diplomatic letters from Kiyoshi Island and the Southern Water Tribe, the border guards were leaving nothing to chance. Azula soon found herself wrapped in icy tendrils, blades of cold steel jutting at her with menace.
Sopping wet on the deck, Azula struggled free of the Waterbender's grip to gasp, "I am the Avatar, you fool. We are here on a mission of peace from the Southern Tribe."
A hawk-nosed lieutenant squatted down to glare eye level to her. Nodding, he punched Azula in the gut, and motioned to the guards restraining her. A black hood went over her head, plunging her into darkness.
It was not removed for sometime, as she was led up and down winding corridors. She was thrown shivering into a cell of finely-hewn glacier ice, reinforced with iron bars. The door slammed shut, leaving her alone. They had only needed to see her amber eyes to assume the worst, and thrown her into the Firebender's hell.
Azula waited in the icy cell, watching the frost form with each rhythmic breath. The cold-iron manacles felt like childish mockery on her wrists, no more capable of containing her than the icy walls of her prison. This was the Chief's childish test of her trustworthiness, as though the princess being hunted like wild game by all the armies of the Fire Lord was some dastardly ruse of war. It wore her patience to the nub, but she waited.
And waited. On ice for hours, like meat from the fresh kill, as though she'd spoil from fresh air and warmth. But this was their game and she would not give in.
A guard came to collect her after nightfall. She had remained in seiza, warming herself with the breath of fire technique, in trance like meditation. Upon his approach, she opened one eye to glare at the guard. Commands were beneath him; he prodded the princess to her feet with the butt of his spear before roughly marching her out.
"Your hospitality leaves something to be desired." Azula made the man work for it, dragging her heels purely out of spite.
"It will not speak."
"Better men than you have tried."
The guard punched her in the gut. Coughing raggedly, Azula grinned back at him. More guards joined, and each made it a point to demonstrate their Waterbending. The air was thick with the smell of whale oil from the many lanterns lighting the stockade.
The sergeants barked out their orders and soon the prisoner detail was marching onwards. Azula's pride demanded she match them step for step, head held high, as they wound their way through the frozen fortress to the great hall.
The great hall was ringed in crystal blue ice. The walls stretched a hundred feet up to a translucent roof. Balconies lined the walls. Dark blue banners, embossed with silver glyphs and golden pictograms, stretched from ceiling to floor. At the far end of the hall, a raised dais dominated the room. Upon that dais, a throne of carved wood, lacquered in rich sea blues and gold, sat flanked by smaller chairs.
The man who sat on the throne looked to be middle-aged, his face lined with years of hardship, but his hair remained jet-black, bound with sea-green beads. A young woman sat to his left; her hair was ghostly white. Her fine blue gown was embroidered with mahogany and jasmine beads in flowing riverine patterns. Her delicate hands rested on her lap, adorned with silver rings.
The nobles who sat on the dais were less remarkable. They were all stern-faced men with a touch of gray in their hair. Their faces were painted in the pattern of their Lodge. Azula recognized the Polar Bear, Leopard Seal, Wolf and Orca lodges from her studies, but the others were unfamiliar to her.
The banquet tables that would have filled the hall were pushed to the sides. A mass of subjects gathered at their benches to watch the procession. Clan prominents stood next to blue-armored soldiers in their lines. After a moment, the chief on the throne ushered Azula's detail forward.
Azula was made to kneel before the dais. The sergeant grabbed her topknot and tried to force her to bow. Her amber eyes flashed, and the static electricity shocked his hand free with a yelp.
"Is this how the great Chief Arnook treats guests in his palace?" Azula glared at the guards, and each took a step back. She set her eyes on the chief. "I arrived under a flag of truce, only to be treated like a common thief."
"A common thief would have been caned in the city square before the sight of all the People," Arnook said with a smirk, "It could be arranged, young princess."
"You will tell me where my friends are."
"Calm yourself, Azula. They shall be arriving shortly. Then we shall decide what to make of you."
Suki arrived first, seeming none the worse for wear. Still dressed in her ceremonial armor and makeup, she made her genuflections to the chief when she knelt beside Azula. The princess decided to bite her tongue for now.
When Sokka arrived, he protested immediately. "Is this how we treat our kin now?"
"And who might you be then, young brother?" Arnook asked.
"Sokka, son of Chief Hakoda."
The man to Arnook's right stood, hand on the pommel of his sword. "There is only one chief of the Water Tribe, and to speak–" With a raise of the Chief's hand, the man was struck silent.
"You'll have to forgive my chancellor," said Arnook with a smile, "he has chosen to stand on ceremony with our long-lost kin. Whether the Tribes are two or one is not a matter we can decide today. As a matter of good faith, I decree that Sokka is to be granted the dignity commensurate with the son of a chief."
"My chief, if I may?" the chancellor grumbled.
"You may not. Our briefly united peoples have lived separately for centuries now. I will not have us waste breath on this matter."
Katara arrived soon after, making her introductions and formal greeting to the chief. Only then did the guards remove Azula's manacles.
"So then…what are we to do about you, o princess of ash and cinders?" Arnook stood, and the rest of the hall followed. A wave of his hand told Azula to remain kneeling, and she saw no reason to disobey. "My men say that you claim to be the Avatar, lost to us for nigh on two decades now. My spies say the Fire Nation has declared you a traitor, that you conspired to usurp the throne. And I know you have the cunning to do it."
The chief approached her, all eyes watching him with bated breath. "So what am I to do with you? Barter you back to your lord father in exchange for peace?"
"Personally, my chief," Azula said, "I think you ought to bargain for more than peace. Don't sell me short of my worth."
"Indeed. And if you are indeed the Avatar, you would certainly be worth far more to me alive than dead. I'd like to take this on faith, but you know how it is in this business. Trust but verify."
"With your leave then, my chief?" When Arnook nodded, Azula bent the icy floor before her into liquid water, conjuring a thin tendril of water with a flick of her wrist. She shot the water high up into the hall, letting it flutter down as snowflakes.
The murmuring room was now silent. Azula could hear the water dripping from the melting frost on the warming lanterns.
"Well met, Prince Azula." Arnook clapped. "The Avatar has returned to us. Rise, weary travelers, as guests of my house.
Azula rose, but did not take her eyes off the Chief. A prickle of disgust rose up in her, as she realized how long it had been since she'd been made to kneel and bow at another's command, and how little she relished going back to pomp and ceremony. But she banished away all these feelings behind the mask of the perfect princess. "Thank you for your hospitality, my chief. My companions and I have made the perilous journey to your Tribe so that we may learn the arts of Waterbending."
"We?"
"Katara," Azula gestured, "Is the last Waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe. To put it bluntly, of your people, hers have fared worse in the war. We wish to learn under your great masters that the hope of her people be kept alive."
The murmurs from the dais and the crowd unsettled Azula. The Chief returned to his throne and had a quiet word with his chancellor. Nodding, Arnook turned towards Azula. "You know not what you ask, young prince. The hour is already late, and there are matters that must be discussed in the Kurultai."
Azula leaned over to Katara and whispered, "What'd I do?"
Katara shrugged and shook her head.
Arnook rose again and called the adjournment of the assembly. He sang it in a language unfamiliar to Azula's ears, like a prayer. Once the formal matters concluded, the girl with the snow-white hair came to his side. "This is my daughter, Princess Yue. She shall show you to the guest rooms. Young prince, it is not often she gets to socialize with those of a peer rank, if you would indulge a doting father and get to know each other better?"
Yue curtsied, her blue silk gown flowing like summer waves. Her eyes sparkled like ice as she smiled. "It is a pleasure, Prince Azula."
Azula arched an eyebrow. Both she and her father spoke very elegantly and formally in the Elder tongue, but from their accent Azula suspected it was not their mother tongue. She wondered if calling her prince was a translation artifact because of that. "I would be delighted."
Yue smiled, but for the briefest moment Azula saw a hint of unease in her face, like a mask slipping. She held out an arm, an invitation to be escorted, but before Azula could take a step Sokka was already at her side, grinning like a fool.
"If I may, your highness?" Sokka made his curtsy.
Yue laughed. "You may. I hope the Avatar is not too jealous."
Katara snickered as a faint blush kissed Azula's cheeks. "Why would I be jealous?" Azula asked, rolling her eyes.
Suki patted Azula on the back as they watched Yue leave, arm-in-arm, with Sokka. The thin silk of her gown was too little for the barely above freezing air. Yue moved with ethereal grace, divinity in the mundane, like a moonbeam piercing the clouds on a dark night. Azula's breath hitched. She felt drawn after this woman, and before she knew it, they were at their suite.
The four of them had a small wing of the palace to themselves, with four bedrooms arranged radially around a common area. Though the palace was made of ice, the walls and floor here were lined with richly stained wood planks, adorned with felt accents and woven tapestries. The hearths were already lit, and the rooms comfortable enough that Azula removed her overcoat upon entry.
Azula warmed herself by the roaring stone hearth as she listened in on Sokka. He must've been quite charming to the young lady on the walk over, because Yue parted with some reluctance. "Thank you for escorting me, but I'm afraid I must see to your princess, there is a lot she needs to know."
"Oh no doubt. It was a pleasure, your highness."
"Call me Yue, please."
Sokka definitely looked like an idiot gawking like that as Yue left. It was strangely unnerving still, for reasons that Azula did not understand. That tension went away when Yue beckoned her to a cushion by the hearth. Azula sat seiza next to Yue.
Yue giggled. "Please, let's not stand on ceremony, Azula."
Smiling, Azula shifted to a sideways posture mirroring Yue. "I thought you'd never ask. I've been trying to be on my best behavior lest I further embarrass Katara in front of her kin."
"Well I thought you were quite charming. Are you hungry? I could have the servants bring something for you and your companions. It would also give us a chance to talk without any intruding ears."
They had been unnoticed, like part of the tapestry in the room. Something like shame welled up in Azula's belly at how readily she went back to being the princess her father molded. "Please."
The men were off to the palace kitchens soon enough, after taking Sokka's excessively long and detailed order.
Yue giggled, "He's quite a character, your Sokka."
"He's a good man underneath all the banter. So tell me a little about yourself, Yue."
"I am the eldest child of Chief Arnook and Jale. My younger brother, Tulok, will one day succeed my father with the blessing of the Kurultai. I've been an initiate into the sisterhood of Tui since he was born."
"Does that make you a priestess then?"
"It would have. But...I suppose there's no sense in putting this off. I should tell you of my father's plans so that you won't be surprised by them tomorrow."
"So today was all theater then?"
"Not quite. The Chief of the Water Tribe rules best by assent. He demonstrates your good intentions to the tribe, especially to the clan fathers and the prelates of the Warrior Lodges, to gain their support for his actions. Except…you presented him with a wrinkle that he did not anticipate."
"Oh?"
"Katara. The Southern Tribe has long gone its own ways, and my father sees no reason to fret about why your friend carries the mark of the Wolf Lodge on her. A woman being initiated into one of the Lodges is a sacrilege here. But then you revealed she is not only a Waterbender, but also the South's last."
"Your people don't train woman Waterbenders. Is that why he suddenly began calling me 'prince'?"
"Exactly. In the eyes of the People, you are a man and afforded all the dignities. It also means that the world of the…covens, I think would be an appropriate translation, is forever closed to you. It is not that we do not train women who have the Blessing, it is that they are trained as healers and priestesses, and sit with the other Wise Mothers on their own council."
"It's like you live in separate worlds then."
"Indeed. Only children and third-spirits can cross between the two worlds. And when Katara was initiated into the Wolf Lodge, she became an adult in the eyes of the world."
"She's only sixteen."
"I was her age when I was initiated into the Sisterhood."
Alarm rose in Azula's voice. "Forgive me, I don't mean to judge, it's just that, when my people become adults we're expected to marry and bear children."
"Sorry, the common tongue doesn't really have direct translations. In our people, there's adults and then there's Adults. One does not become the latter until he or she turns 19. My nineteenth birthday is in a few weeks, perhaps you'll be there for it."
"Well, I wouldn't miss it."
"Anyway, that leads me to the other complication. You've asked my father for the impossible. It was already hard enough to get the Kurultai to accept an Avatar from the Fire Nation as anything but an enemy. His masterstroke may not be enough for what you ask."
"And what would that be, that would have won over a hostile council?"
Yue blushed crimson. "Betrothing his daughter to the Avatar, that they and the children of their union would sit on the throne of the Fire Nation and owe fealty to their august fathers in the Water Tribe."
Azula's eyes went wide. "You mean, you and I?"
"Uh-huh."
Azula stammered, "You are very pretty, and I don't mean to suggest I wouldn't be lucky to have you but this is very sudden and surely your father knows that whatever I am to his tribe, I can't sire him a grandchild however thrilling that idea is–did I just say that out loud?"
"Afraid you did."
Azula regained some of her composure, "Sorry, I don't get like this often."
"I believe you. And relax. There's plenty of time before any of that happens. And…" Yue averted her eyes, face beet-red, "there are ways to accomplish that. It would not be the first time a princess was wed to a female Avatar."
Azula glanced over at Katara, blissfully unaware as she chatted away with Suki. Crestfallen, she let out a heavy sigh. She thought of the arranged marriages she'd escaped, only to find herself ensnared into a new one, and she thought of the girl she feared would never belong in her arms.
"Your heart belongs to another?" Yue said.
"Mine does. Sadly…hers does not belong to me. But I'd hoped that maybe, in the hereafter of our lives, when I owed no more to the future and could be just…" Azula's heart clenched and she lost the strength to finish.
"Say no more, friend." Yue took Azula's hand in hers, "I know what you mean. I can't compare it to what you must feel right now, for I met Sokka only after my father proposed this to me. But maybe in another world I might have gotten to know him better. But we live for the good of the Tribe."
Words bubbled up, and Azula grasped them like an old friend. "There is no other way."
Yue smiled. "What's it like, sharing a thousand lifetimes? Knowing things you should not know."
Azula thought a moment, looking at Yue's painted nails that held her hands. There was no sense in starting their relationship with lies, however little control she had over it. "Terrifying. There's times when I'm afraid I'll lose hold of the things that make me Azula and not just the Avatar. But other times there's this power I can barely grab hold of, big enough to swallow me whole. And when I wrestle with it I can feel the universe tremble at my approach. But then I lose hold of it, and I'm just a girl."
"In time, I hope to be able to share this burden with you. I do not think being married to you will be so bad. Ah, there it is, another unguarded smile, something you only share with a few." Yue beamed. "It is nicer than the cutting grins you give as the haughty princess of the Fire Nation. Thank you for sharing it with me, Azula."
"Likewise, Yue."
When Yue took her leave, a dreadful pit formed in Azula's belly. But there could be no putting this off. Katara was sitting with Sokka and Suki around an assortment of roast meats, fishes, sea vegetables and steamed roots, snacking away happily. "Katara, there's something I need to tell you."
Katara stopped gnawing on a bone. "Can't you tell them too?"
"In time. Trust me, it's better if you hear first."
"Alright."
Suki laughed, "Go on, you two lovebirds." It earned a glare from Katara.
Oh if only it were that simple. Azula led Katara into her sleeping chambers, beckoning her friend to sit on the furs. Azula sat next to her, hunched over and twiddling her thumbs. "Katara, this won't be easy to say."
"They're not going to train me, are they?" Azula looked up at her. "Gran-Gran told me before we left about some of the things that were different here. I never knew before we left, but she was born in the North. I'd…I'd hoped things changed."
"Actually, they will, and I will not budge on that. But for everything, there is a price."
"I'm not marrying someone."
"No, you're not. But it seems Arnook was right that he was not going to get any less than I'm worth from me."
"He…he didn't? You, he wants you to marry his son? He's like twelve at most."
Azula took a deep breath. "No, not his son. His daughter. Apparently, in the eyes of the tribe, the Avatar is always a man." Katara stood up, batting away Azula's attempts to take her hand. "Katara!"
"It's not your fault, I know that. But I'm still angry. You can't expect me to be okay with you confessing you're in love with me and then getting yourself betrothed to someone prettier than me."
"Katara, she's not prettier than you."
"That's not the point. You agreed to this awfully quick"
"I haven't agreed to anything yet. And I didn't choose this, and it's not like we're together. You made it quite clear you don't feel anything for me."
"Oh did I? You're unbelievable." Katara stormed straight into Azula's face, words cutting. "Unbelievable. Do you really think I tell just anyone to think of me in their most private moments?"
Azula bit her lip, eyebrows knitted. "You can be so infuriating, Katara. What do you want from me, to wait forever for you? To throw it all back in their face, to give up the only chance we have to find someone to train us? Half the men in there want to slit my throat and leave me in a ditch, and it's not like I can really blame them that much. We want their help, and they want something in return."
"And I suppose that makes it okay you went right after the next pretty face to bat her eyes at you. Is this how you deal with jealousy?"
"Do you really think so lowly of me?"
"Answer the question."
Azula slumped onto the bed, heart burning, face stricken with silent tears. What was the point? Try as she might, her heart would not submit to reason. To anyone else, it would have looked like a mild cry, the kind a person would have when they stubbed their toe or they lost a bet on chariot racing.
But Katara knew better, and instantly regretted everything. Because for Azula this was what bawling your eyes out looked like. It was easy, even for the ones who knew her best, to treat her muted responses at face value. "Are you doing this…for me?"
Azula shrugged. "I'm doing it because I don't see any other option. But yes, how could I turn my back on what you need most? Yue is nice, but she is a stranger to me. But if you do not want me to, I won't. We'll find some other way–"
"No…I'm sorry. I shouldn't jealously hold you back because you confessed to me. You are sacrificing a lot."
Azula nodded. "One of the few comforts I found being thrown away by my family was that I would not have to marry someone my father chose for me, that I could choose who I got to spend my life with."
"And you'd give that up, so that I could be trained by the masters?"
"You are the last, best hope of our people. After all my family has done–"
"Azula, it's not your fault."
"Yet there's an empty place…set at the table at Kanna's house even now."
Katara's eyes watered as her chest was wracked with sobs. She cried into her sleeve to suppress it, until Azula bundled her up into her arms and cried with her. "It's my fault," Katara said in between sobs. "It's my fault, not yours."
"Your mother did not think her sacrifice was a vain or empty gesture, and I will not debate her profound love for you, Katara."
"I should have not told you about her," Katara laughed weakly, "If all you were going to do with the knowledge is make me cry like this."
"I think it was overdue, then."
"But she's gone, because of me."
"Accept what was freely given then, in the spirit in which it was given." Azula placed her hand on Katara's heart, "her love is still in you. Sometimes I can almost feel it. I feel sometimes I know her through knowing you."
This only made Katara cry harder, and in panic Azula could do nothing but hold her grieving friend tighter and cry too. But at the other end of the tears there was somehow a catharsis, like pulling iron nails from a wound. The relief in them both was so visceral that when Katara smiled and opened her eyes, Azula kissed her lips.
It was chaste. At first. Katara threaded her fingers through Azula's hair and pulled her closer. All thought of propriety was cast aside in that moment, for this kiss, Azula's first, might also be the last between them. All the fires of passion, all that bound two souls together, all that stirred the heart, all of love's terrible melancholy, everything that might have been, had to fit into this solitary moment.
Their lips parted, leaving them both breathless. Silent tears streaming down her cheeks, Azula nuzzled close to Katara, forehead to forehead. This was the terrible price of duty, a lesson that had been hammered into Azula so completely she would remember it in her bones. Maybe in the next life–she began to repeat that old mantra, then remembered Aang's terrible prophecy that the Avatar was unchained from Saṃsāra, and wept again, hugging Katara for dear life. Bitter, ugly tears stained Katara's shirt.
"It's okay. Shhh, it's okay," Katara whispered, fighting back her own tears.
It was not okay, but it was sweet of her to try. Because this was all that they may ever have.
Some part of Azula wondered if she should kiss Katara again, to forget about duty just for this one moment and go where she had never dared to before. As she cupped Katara's cheeks and looked her eye to eye once more, Azula did not doubt for a second if she asked, that Katara would take her right then and there. If Katara made the first move, she'd submit in an instant, and some small little voice in her head prayed that Katara would, even though Azula knew that it would destroy her in the morning, having it all begin and end in a single night.
It terrified Azula more than the thought of facing down entire armies, than the pain and misery that would come in the war to come, even more than the thought of having to one day face her father directly. Everything she thought she knew about who she was, the substance she was made of, all hung on the razor's edge when she was with Katara. That haunting voice that whispered in the dark, that took the face of Mai to better undo Azula had been right.
She had to close the book on Azula, the girl from the Caldera who hiked into the mountains to better take in the beauty and wonder of the night sky, the girl who pined for her old school friends, the girl who teased her hapless older brother, the girl who sometimes fell asleep in the royal library reading the old stories, the girl who fell in love with the blue-eyed warrior who'd fished her from the lonely ocean. The girl had to be forgotten so that Avatar Azula, the mote of hope in a world plunged into eternal war, could be born.
They took the time to recompose themselves, fixing smeared eyeliner and letting the puffiness from crying go down. The feast in the common room was a welcome treat after the long journey over the cold waters and the time spent on ice. The roasted meats were slathered in piquant sauces that made Azula's mouth water, and accompanied by all manner of unfamiliar vegetables. Stewed, roasted, boiled, poached, or fried, Azula had to try a little bit of everything. She was, dare she admit, enjoying herself, in spite of everything. The food was washed down with sour fermented yak milk and honey-sweet sima.
That momentary calm did not last long. One wayward glance, and she remembered the feeling she was running from.
It was good that their hosts had given them each their own room, because Azula could not have survived any more temptation. Azula undressed, folding each article of clothing in turn and placing it on the chest at the foot of the bed. She tried on the night robe that her hosts had given her. It was exquisite, easily the equal of any of the silks she'd had as a princess of the Fire Nation. But as she was tying the sash, her thoughts diverted again to Katara. Resting her hand over her now pounding heart, it occurred to her that if nothing else she could at least follow her best friend's wish that she stop treating her body like it was the enemy.
Her skin was marked with so many pale scars, she'd given up counting them. But she decided that they weren't a record of her failure, but a testament of what she could endure without breaking.
Azula untied the sash on the nightshirt, shrugged and let it fall abandoned at her feet. She traced her fingers down the neat lines of scar tissue on her chest and belly. It was pleasant, and it stirred on that electric heat in her that she'd tried to dismiss as just a side effect of the alcohol. Maybe the scars weren't a shameful disfigurement. Maybe, just maybe they were beautiful too, a part of her and the story of her life. Truth was contagious; she admitted it was not just an alcoholic buzz, she'd been painfully on edge since they'd stayed in Beiping, and her earlier kiss with Katara had lit her on fire with desire.
She laughed despite herself. When Katara had given her permission to touch herself while thinking of her, she'd never actually thought about going through with it. Until now. If the body was not an enemy to be conquered, a wild animal that needed to be tamed and mastered, then there was no shame in enjoying herself.
She settled into the bed nude, luxuriating in the fine silk sheets. However fumbling and inexperienced Azula's attempts were, there was joy in the exploration of the unknown. Azula muffled her cries by biting the web of skin between her thumb and forefinger, drawing blood at the moment of release. Giddy and gasping at the strange wonder of it all, she was out like a candle into sweet dreamless sleep the moment her eyes fluttered closed.
She awoke only once, filled with the sudden realization that she'd heard the name Yue before somewhere, seen here ghostly white hair before.
Once upon a time, Mai had loved the pomp of being carried through the streets of the Caldera on a palanquin. As she waited for a procession of litter-bearers and attendants to pass by under the hot noon sun, she wondered if that innocent little noble girl still lived in her.
The once boring decorum of the capital had by now become truly unbearable. After the caravan of excess passed, Mai filtered through the crowd, eager to make up for lost time. It was bad enough getting a sudden, cryptic summons delivered to her, quite another to keep them waiting. The letter had directed her to come urgently to the Old Armory, serving as the ad hoc headquarters for the Army for going on four decades now.
The street was filled with soldiers milling about, even more than the rest of the closed city in the Caldera. Walking wounded nervously awaited their dispatches back to the front. Grieving widows waited in tear-soaked white shawls to collect their late husbands' ashes. Old men, scarred inside and out, paced back and forth for any word at all about their pensions.
Mai walked into the cool, incense-scented building, parting the beaded curtains. The men inside all wore their best dress uniforms, armor spit-shined and polished to glossy perfection. The attendant at the front desk perked up immediately, setting aside his clerical work with a smile. "And how might I help you today, miss?"
Looking down her nose, Mai handed over the thin summons scroll. "Lady Mai, daughter of Lord Ukano, received this urgent summons this morning. I trust that you will not delay the matter any further."
Sweating, the man took the scroll, offered his genuflection, then scurried off. Mai had not recognized the seal on the scroll but all it took was once glance to send the duty officer off like a shot.
A gruff, familiar voice behind Mai said, "Lady Mai? What the devil are you doing here?"
Mai turned to find the scruffy face of Captain Li, still wearing the same scratched and dented armor as always. Mai let herself have a thin smile. "I was summoned, though I don't know what for. And you…I'm surprised you're not still at the front."
"Me too, believe me. But there's whispers going around about some new campaign. Very hush-hush now, but they need more men and officers. Activated another battalion of scrawny kids from my regiment, need some men who know what to bloody do with them. So I'm here waiting for orders, same as ever."
She had seen a large number of ships gathering in the harbor, growing day by day. "I've only been back a couple of weeks myself, and haven't heard anything. But I think you're right."
"S'all good to me," Li said, popping his neck. He was a bundle of nerves here, out of place amongst the gentlemen officers, and he was talking like he'd just finished a long run, out of breath and sweaty. "Beats searching after our mutual friend, so I won't have that on my conscience anymore."
The desk officer returned with a plump old colonel bearing bushy, graying sideburns. "Ah yes, Lady Mai! Thank you for coming on such short notice," the colonel said, giddy and beaming.
"I'd hoped to clear up any concerns about my–"
"-Oh it was no trouble at all, really. Just a bit of missing paperwork, nothing serious." He thrust a small leather book into Mai's hands, along with another scroll. "New paybook, now all in order, and commission bearing the Fire Lord's seal. And while I'd normally direct you over to accounts, with the waiting line over there I've taken the liberty of collecting your backpay for you to clear it all up." He thrust a leather pouch into Mai's hands, laden down heavily with what could only have been gold.
Mai blinked three times. "I'm sorry, you have me at a loss…why was I summoned here again?"
"Oh it must be that dreadful Calderan heat…no wind this time of year, dreadful. Thanks to an intercession from the palace, we've gotten all the bureaucracy with regard to your commission sorted out. I'm sure you'll do the Fire Lord proud out there, my Lady. Anyway, I must away. Be seeing you."
The plump colonel scurried off, leaving Mai still no less confused. She must have stood there for a good while, because Li inched up behind her and whispered, "Tell me how I can get into the sort of trouble you were in so that I can get paid in full, on-time."
Dread pooled in Mai's belly. "I wish I knew."
It did not take long to figure out who had been her mysterious benefactor. Mai seethed the whole way home, picking at her nails under her sleeves. Still, she wanted to hear her unwanted house guest explain it for herself, explain how she thought Mai's loyalty could be purchased so cheaply.
She arrived to find the main dining area set for a multi-course meal, servants scurrying about. The air smelled of cumin and cinnamon. Crystal decanters of rich red wine glittered in the candlelight. And at the head of the table, Zeisan sat in her silk morning dress, glossy hair down to her shoulders, smugly sipping away.
Mai stood stunned in the entry to the dining hall, truly stunned at the audacity of this woman. She waited too long trying to find just what tone of indignation to use, because Zeisan spoke first. "Good of you to join us, I was beginning to think the meal would go cold."
Seeing red, Mai took the bait. "And what is all this?"
"Your staff was leaving something to be desired, so took the prerogative of hiring, and brought over my lady-in-waiting to serve as chamberlain until a more permanent replacement can be found." Zeisan sipped her wine and gave a predator's grin.
"We have a chamberlain already."
"He is currently in the Governor's Palace in New Ozai. Surely you won't let this manor go decrepit in his absence."
"So that's how this is going to be. Ordering around my staff, draining the accounts, for all this?"
"Oh please, if I wanted your money I'd just take it, Mai. I've paid quite handsomely for all this."
"And I suppose you're the one who straightened things out at the Old Armory as well. If you think any of this will buy my loyalty–"
"-Mai my dear, you can try to act tough but your imitation of the former princess is much worse than mine." Zeisan set her cup down and sauntered over to Mai. "If you must let lunch get cold, then by all means."
A shiver of resentment ran through Mai. She hated Zeisan all the more for continuing to remind her of Azula, from the curve of her cheek to the honey-sweet venom of her voice.
"I'll have your loyalty one way or another, Mai, and when I do you'll have mine. But until then I'm not so sentimental as to worry about it. But what I want right now is for you to owe me."
"As if I'd care about this," Mai said, hefting the sack of gold coins. "The person I joined up for is no longer my princess. Having it back is just another annoyance."
"I'm afraid you're going to have to do better. I can already tell that it's digging at you, to owe something to me. Because your parents raised you to pay your debts."
"No more games, what do you want from me?"
Zeisan patted Mai on the cheek. "That would be telling. For now, I just want you to give me a chance. We all have our role to play, and with Zuko coming home soon the last thing the prince needs are the women in his life at each other's throats."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Oh, you hadn't heard. His father summoned him to return. Special circumstances, very hush-hush. But between you and me, it may just involve his traitorous sister."
The next morning, Azula awoke with only a mild headache. The attendants led her to the hot-spring baths. After a nice soak in the mineral waters, Azula shaved, leaving not even a hint of stubble in her armpits or outside her fundoshi. Bathed and perfumed, she dressed in clean clothes and tied her glossy hair up into the neatest topknot she could manage. For today she would once again stand before Arnook, the man who would be her future father-in-law, for that would be the price paid. Before they left, Azula glanced over at Katara again and sighed.
The great hall was filled with a smaller retinue today. Given their fine-furred cloaks and martial implements, Azula guessed it was only the clan fathers and their close retinue attending the decision of Arnook and his Kurultai.
After prayers were sung, Azula and her party bowed. The majordomo ushered Sokka and Suki to the side of the hall, leaving Azula and Katara kneeling before the chief.
Arnook stood and ushered with hands outstretched. "Rise, friends from the South. You have presented a difficult dilemma for my Tribe, Avatar."
Azula bowed her head. "A thousand apologies, my chief." Glancing up, she saw the thin smile on Arnook's face.
"On the one hand, we have tradition stretching back since time-immemorial, and a hundred years of strife with the Fire Nation. On the other we have the fate of our Southern brothers, and the inscrutable destiny of the Avatar." Arnook stepped from the dais, addressing the whole chamber. "How can we weigh this, my brothers, my sons? The Avatar asks that we break our old traditions and recognize a woman as a warrior. That I make peace with the daughter of our enemy, forgive the feud that claimed many of my kin in the last hundred years."
Azula closed her eyes and shut down the panic rising in her. She would trust in Yue that this was theater once again.
"We are the Water Tribe," Arnook said. "Our ways are our sacred bond with our ancestors, a covenant with the Spirits of the Ocean and the Moon. But it is also the way of the Water to change, to flow, to adapt. The Avatar is our hope in the war. And so I will trust in that hope. But it will not be blind hope. Azula: stand and be recognized."
Azula popped to her feet. "My chief."
"I trust that though Katara and South's ways were greatly heretical, she still instructed you in them."
"She did, my chief."
"Do you live for the good of the Tribe?"
"There is no other way."
"Then for the good of the Tribe, will you marry into my house, taking my daughter Yue as yours, that you would call me father as is our way, that when you place your children on the throne of the Fire Nation they shall call me grandfather, that our blood shall be as one from now until they day the oceans no longer touch the sky?"
Azula glanced over at Yue, sitting placidly at the left-hand of the throne, and swallowed. "Yes, my chief."
There were murmurs from the crowd, but Arnook could only smile at his masterstroke. "And Katara, stand and be recognized."
Katara rose. "My chief."
"If I anoint you into the Wolf Lodge of my Tribe, do you swear your sacred fealty to me as your chief, that you will spare neither life nor blood to defend the People?"
"Yes, my chief."
"And when the masters of the Lodge teach your The Way and Riddle of the Sea, will you preserve those secrets with your life, always and forever keeping faith with La the Ocean Spirit?"
"I will, my chief."
The solemnity of the moment was somewhat soured as Azula felt the yoke of Arnook's opportunism. But what other choice did they have? She could only pray that whatever master she found in the Earth Kingdom would not extract such a heavy price from her, lest she have nothing left to give.
Arnook clapped his hands together like thunder. "Then it is settled. It is by the decree of the Kurultai that Prince Azula, son of the Fire Nation, be wed to my daughter and–"
A booming voice echoed through the hall. "-I will not have her!"
All eyes turned to a young warrior on the right-hand of the hall. He was young, tall as the chief, with a lantern jaw cleanly shaven. He stepped forward proudly, pounding the butt of his spear into the floor. Arnook's eyes narrowed as he faced the young man. "Hahn, I will not permit this."
"Respectfully, my chief, it is not yours to permit or forbid. I invoke the yıkım." The chattering in the gallery went deadly silent. Arnook grumbled as Hahn stepped into the center of the hall. "Or would you have this cinder loose from the hearth burn your house down? You would poise the daughter of the enemy with a dagger at your throat, ready to usurp you!"
Internally, Azula was seething. But she outwardly remained calm, flaring her nostrils with a huff of hot air. "Respectfully, one should face the person they accuse and not turn their back on her, Hahn."
He glared daggers at Azula. But he looked her in the eye.
Azula glared back at him. "I gave my word before your chief, before all the daevas–"
Yue stood and cried, "Azula, don't call him out!"
Something like heartbreak flashed over Hahn's face. "It makes no difference. By the yıkım rule I have already challenged your adoption into the Tribe. Hear me, my brothers, my fathers!"
One of Arnook's Kurultai rose, his face painted in the familiar wolf mask. "Hahn, my son: Do not do this. Don't."
Hahn turned to the rest of the hall. "By my blood, I will not have her! I will not call this one 'brother,' for as long as my heart still beats."
Arnook shook his head. "I am sorry my friend, but your son is a man and it is his right." Arnook turned to Azula, measuring his words carefully. "He has challenged you to be tested to your limits before you may be accepted into the tribe. That is the meaning of yıkım. It is then decreed: Hahn, son of Lanaq, challenges Azula. Only one shall remain in this tribe. There are no champions, only the contest between the two of you."
Azula smirked. The thrill came, lighting the fire in her blood. "I accept."
Arnook stooped, cradling his forehead in his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So be it then. The battle shall occur at twilight tonight, between the worlds of the Sun and the Moon, Death and Life."
Katara was as far from happy as Azula had ever seen her. When Yue ushered them back into their apartments, Katara went straight to full froth. "Azula, I can't believe you let him goad you into a fight!"
"I don't think there was any way out of this. I shall best him and put this matter to rest."
"About that, Azula," Yue said. "You really ought to have used your right to counsel before you agreed to it. You won't be able to simply best him. You will have to kill him in a fight as peers. That means no bending, using only a knife."
"You're the one betrothed to her," Katara said, pacing as she clenched her fists. "Shouldn't you be on her side? It's all just trickery, he goads an outsider into accepting a fight on his terms. Shameful and dishonorable."
Graceful, ethereal Yue was suddenly like cold-iron. She slapped Katara across the cheek. "There are no tricks, this is a religious matter."
Katara was stunned silent. It was still morning, and there was plenty of hours left of daylight for more to go wrong.
Yue's glare softened as she turned back to Azula. "But Katara is right to worry, Hahn is one of the best fighters of his generation, and you will have to face him without your bending. So much as an ember, and you'll be trussed up, weighed down with stones and committed to the deep."
Sokka butted in between the two young women. "Nothing can be done, except practice. Sounds like we have until sundown to get Azula warmed up on knife-fighting."
"I know enough," Azula said, crossing her arms. "Is there a special weapon I have to use, or can I use my machete?"
Yue pulled the blade from her belt and examined it. "It's not too different from the traditional long-knife in Agna Qel'a, it should be allowed."
"Nevertheless." Sokka placed a hand on Azula's shoulder, "I insist."
Twilight came too soon this far north. Sokka had been a relentless taskmaster, and all the welts left on her skin had been a testament to just how much more Azula had to learn about knife-fighting. This was made all the worse when Azula recognized that subconsciously she'd been holding back, even with wooden practice knives. She could only hope that whatever doubt that was creeping up in her would not be contagious, that she would find the razor sharp unity of focus she would need for the actual fight.
Azula was led by the Chief's retinue to the palace courtyard. Men from each of the clans ringed the flat ice. The blue banners fluttered in the gentle breeze. As the last rays of the setting sun filtered through keyholes in the courtyard, Yue led Azula to her end of the arena.
A circle of blue-painted stones, ten yards across, set the limits between life and death. Trembling, Yue's fingers traced over the ties on Azula's vambraces. "There's no armor, it's a matter of honor."
Azula nodded. "I understand."
"No, no you don't. It's just…I've only just met you, but I don't wish you to die." Yue glanced over at Hahn huddled close with his father. "But I don't want Hahn to die either. There's no yielding. It can only end when one of you dies."
Azula sighed and began undressing. The whole tribe would know her scarred body. Just one more indignity. Just like an Agni Kai really, but here in the Water Tribe they valued testing something to its limits, to the point of destruction. When she finished, she wore only her green bandeau, black pantaloons and tabi. She unsheathed her machete and tossed the scabbard aside.
Hahn barked, "Are you ready, Una?"
Azula glared over her shoulder at him, testing the edge of her knife one-last time.
"You know, you should welcome the end, outlander." Hahn began circling the edge, body low like a coiled spring. "This place is not for your tribe. Your fires burn out here, and when they're gone, this land will kill you."
Azula brandished her knife and walked a spiral path closer to the center. "If you're expecting me to give up, you picked the wrong fight."
"You're not welcome here. You don't belong here."
Azula sensed his intent as Hahn gripped the knife tighter. He lunged forward like a bolt of lightning in a clear sky. She parried his thrust, blades binding together near the hilt, and boxed him in his ear with her free hand.
Hahn pulled out of the clinch, knife dancing like water on a hotplate, lunging and cutting. They weren't exaggerating about him being one of the best of his generation. This would be a shameful, awful waste, but it must be done, Azula decided. Aang's ghost watching from atop one of the totems did not agree. Azula could feel his disappointment.
Hahn attacked again, relentless like the typhoon. Azula stayed light on her feet, deflecting the energy of his strike, meeting his positive jing with negative. Hahn was supremely confident in his abilities, and gave little in the way of opening with each successive attack. He would pressure her until she slipped up. So after a few more attack cycles, Azula feinted another retreat before counter attacking.
The sudden aggression might have tripped up a lesser fighter, but Hahn met her attacks with poise, and did not break his defense. Each clash of the knives reverberated down to Azula's bones. This was a tragic, stupid waste of a fighter, and yet his pig-headed folly didn't make the thought of killing him any more appetizing.
After three more clinches, both fighters giving a flurry of jabs and slashes, evading the other's blade by inches, Azula found the pattern. Hahn was good, but he wanted this over quickly, cleanly. One jab to her vitals and done, a clean kill with no room for any whispers of perfidy.
As they circled, Azula found her strategy. After a few traded parries, she baited an opening. When his assault came, Azula slashed low, outside his focus. She narrowly jinked out his jab for her throat. Very narrowly. As Azula pulled back, she felt a trickle of blood running down her cheek.
But Hahn grimaced, left hand roaming over the expanding wet splotch on his leg. Snarling, he hobbled forward, blood dripping from his left hand. Summoning all his strength, he charged.
Azula passed the knife from right to left hand behind her back and darted past his over extension. The long blade found a clean path between Hahn's ribs, tapping the strength from his body. Hahn went limp, knife dropping from his hand, arms dangling around Azula's shoulders.
The snarl left Azula's face. As the strength left Hahn's legs, she caught his slumping body, cradling his neck as she lowered him to the ground. He looked up at her with sad, watering eyes. The machete was buried to its haft in his chest.
Yue raced over, followed by Hahn's father Lanaq. She lay Hahn's head in her lap, brushing the sweat matted hair out of his face. He looked up at Yue, nodding limply. His left hand struggled upwards. He left a bloody handprint on Yue's cheek before limply reaching at Azula.
Azula took his hand in hers. She felt the weight of a life unlived in her hands, and wished she could give it back. He was a boy barely old enough to be considered a man, fighting their great-grandfathers' wars. She whispered. "I'm sorry."
Hahn's father took his other hand and muttered, "Son…"
"Did I fight well, dad?" said Hahn.
"Yes. You were so brave." Lanaq's hand found the handle of Azula's knife. "Are you ready?"
Lanaq had turned pale, his brown eyes misting. She could see the lines etched deep into his face, his salt-speckled black hair tousled into his face from the rush over. In that instant Azula saw a man transformed from a prelate of the warrior fraternity into a man with one-foot in the grave already.
Azula grabbed Lanaq's hand and shook her head. "No, a father shouldn't have to."
Hahn looked into Azula's eyes and said, "Yes. I'm ready, brother."
Lanaq gave the tiniest nod, then brushed his son's hair once more, singing one last nursery rhyme for his baby boy. Azula knew somehow that if she had not taken this burden from him it would have killed him.
Azula nodded. A tear spilled down her cheek, mixing with the running blood. "Until we meet again, brother." She pulled the knife out as cleanly as she could. A torrent of red spilled over the ice, and the light left Hahn's eyes.
They waited in silence, cradling Hahn's body, as Lanaq completed his sad dirge, dry throat cracking. The old warrior composed himself, finding the courage within himself he'd given to his son.
Yue cried as she whispered prayers in the old language of the Water Tribe. One life carried such woe in its wake. All Azula could think was: How many? How many brothers and fathers, sons and husbands? How many have torn away, leaving wounds of grief like this, all to even get here? She looked up at the tribe gathered for the duel, solemnly watching its outcome. How many more funeral dirges will be sung before this is all over? "Yue…what do I owe the slain?"
She dried her eyes on her sleeve. "That's up to Lanaq. Some keep to the old ways, others follow newer ways." Yue's eyes darted between Azula and Lanaq.
"My clan will hold funerary rites for him." The old warrior stirred, looking at Azula with eyes unburdened by thoughts of vengeance. "It would be appropriate to offer prayers or sacrifices to Yama, if I understand your people's ways correctly. Tomorrow morning, you and I shall row his canoe out, and offer his body to Sedna."
Azula nodded.
"I understand you might be hesitant to share a canoe with the father of the slain, but it is a symbol of trust between us, that a duel honorably completed shall carry no grudge between us."
The already frigid air was rapidly cooling after sunset. But Azula remained at the edge of the circle, watching Hahn's clan carry his body away. Watching the palace attendants scrub away the blood on the packed snow.
Yue and Katara quarreled over who would tend to her wound. Huddled under a woolen blanket, Azula shook her head. Had the circumstances been less severe, she might have even laughed. Yue's healing abilities proved to be quite good, and it made Azula wonder what she would have turned out if she'd lived in a gilded cage like her.
The matter was done now. They got what they needed. It still left Azula feeling so cold and numb. And Katara seemed little better. Katara glanced over at Azula and pinched the bridge of her nose. All it cost was an arranged marriage and oath of fealty. All it cost.
When they were safe back in the palace apartments, Yue approached Katara as she sat by the hearth brewing tea. Katara looked up at her grimly. Yue shook her head and said. "I thought you'd be with Azula."
Katara slumped, looking at the pale white coals. "She wanted to be alone. She said there are sacrifices one has to make when taking a life, and she's been a bit behind on the matter."
"What sort of sacrifices?" Yue said, dreading the answer.
"Animal sacrifice."
"Oh thank the Moon. I was afraid she'd scarify again."
Katara's stony glare softened. "I'm sorry, I've been unfair to you."
"You love Azula."
"Usually we ask rather than accuse, princess."
"It's not anything shameful, Katara. I can see myself falling for her too. But, listen, I don't want there to be discord between us. I hope that we can be friends." Yue settled into the cushion next to Katara.
"I admit, I've been unfair to you. But…I don't know what my feelings towards Azula really are. I don't know if I'm ready to be in-love with someone. But I guess I'm grieving that now I might never be able to find out."
Yue gave a wry smile. "Well, I wouldn't worry. Azula wouldn't be the first royal to take a mistress."
Katara blinked and fell silent.
"Of course, I can be jealous. But as long as Azula can share, I think things will work out in the end."
Katara laughed. "I admit, you surprise me, princess. But I'm beginning to see why Azula was so taken with you. I thought you were just another prim girly-girl at first. I'm…sorry I misjudged you."
"It's quite alright. I thought you were another rough Plebeian girl from the South. But I watched you train, saw how Azula lit up in your presence."
"I will consider your offer, Yue. But you must understand, the Deluge is coming. It's getting harder to ignore the omens. It's a dangerous road ahead for Azula."