A/N: Meant to have this up two days ago, but stuff happened! lol. Finishing this is my birthday present to myself!
Important chapter count note: There will be 12 chapters in this fic instead of the originally-planned 11! I was hoping to end this fic on chapter 11 for fun thematic reasons (Naruto becoming the 11th member of the Konoha 10, finally having a place he belonged, etc), but now I'm splitting this final Epilogue chapter into two parts! Mainly because, as I was writing this supposed-to-be-last chapter, I kept getting more ideas that worked too well to leave out, and the ideas I already had, when fully fleshed out, ended up being way longer than I anticipated (seriously, this opening scene is 4k+ on its own, LMAO), and by the time I estimated how long this chapter would be, it was...haha, no joke...16-20k! (This chapter alone is over 9k! lol.) X'D And I was just like, "...Yeah, no!" So, decided to split it up! On the bright side, that means a huge chunk of the next chapter is already written, just needs to be fleshed out and stitched together! Woo!
Hopefully that's okay with everyone! Just wanted to let you guys know so you don't unsubscribe/tune out early! lol.
That said, hope you enjoy! :D
"So, what do you guys wanna do first?"
It's been a month since Naruto's officially been accepted into the Konoha 11's fold. It's definitely weird—a good weird—not being alone all the time, and Naruto's still very much learning how to navigate actual healthy interaction with kids his age, but for the most part, it's been more amazing and fulfilling than anything in Naruto's entire life so far. He can't wait to see where it takes them!
This morning, Shikamaru and Choji surprised him by stopping by his apartment to invite him to the market, just for fun, and while Naruto was hesitant, he eventually agreed.
It's a mix of anxiety and excitement that makes him rock on his heels and shrug at Shikamaru's question, smile wide and eyes bright as he takes everything in. He doesn't really care what they do, he's just happy to be here! It's been a while since he's been allowed within spitting distance of this place, and now he's in the middle of it all!
A noisy, rumbling growl is their answer.
"Shikamaru, I'm hungry," Choji whines. "Let's grab some food first."
Shikamaru sighs, though it's mostly fond. The way he tilts his head at Choji reminds Naruto of a resigned mother. "You just ate before we left. Can't we at least take Naruto around a little first?"
"But that was almost an hour ago." Choji rubs his stomach. "We can still show Naruto around after. It's not like the market's going anywhere. It's first thing in the morning."
"It's fine, really! I don't mind!" Naruto interjects, shooting both his new friends an easygoing smile, fingers locked behind his head. "If you're hungry, you're hungry, Choji. Not much we can do about it, right? Going without's no fun, trust me." Naruto's gone hungry more times than he can count, and the idea of any of his friends suffering even this token hunger makes his heart clench and stomach pang in empathy. He jerks a thumb over his shoulder. "There's actually somethin' I wanna check out over here anyway, so I can catch up with you guys in a few!"
Shikamaru studies Naruto with watchful eyes. He isn't so sure he likes this plan. He's not blind or stupid, after all. He clearly saw Naruto's hesitation earlier when the market was mentioned, and he hasn't missed the apprehensive, disgusted, downright hateful looks Naruto's been getting since they stepped foot here, never mind the horrible words already sprouting up like invasive weeds on his skin. He doesn't like the idea of leaving Naruto on his own in this place. What if something happens while they're not around? The very notion is enough to make his fingers twitch, the shadows at his feet grow restless.
But he's nothing if not fair, so he looks over at the stall Naruto's interested in. It's a mask seller's. Those kinds of masks are more popular around festival time, but the guy must make at least decent money if he's still here in the off-season. Most likely, Naruto's never gotten to enjoy any of the Leaf's festivals (without it ending badly, anyway), so he's probably seldom seen masks like those before. It makes sense that he'd want to get a closer look. The genial way the mask seller's talking to his current child customer doesn't paint him in a bad light either.
By all accounts, it should be safe enough.
And yet, Shikamaru has seen firsthand that the villagers treat Naruto differently than everyone else, so he doesn't put much stock in that last bit. He can't afford to, if he's being honest. He meant what he said the day they invited Naruto to be their friend: he wants to stay by his side, make sure he's safe and happy—and he can't do that, doesn't deserve that privilege, if he doesn't have Naruto's back when it counts.
"I won't touch anything or talk to anybody." Shikamaru's gaze snaps back to Naruto, who's looking at him all too patiently, like he knows exactly what Shikamaru's thinking. And knowing him, he probably does. "I'm just gonna look a little bit, and then I'll come find you guys." There's a small, understanding smile. "I appreciate it, really, but don't worry so much."
Shikamaru's lips purse. Technically speaking, the only reason Choji even needs him to go with is 'cause Choji's mom made him promise to make sure Choji didn't spend all his allowance on snacks like last time (even though, in Choji's words, 'snacks are the only thing worth spending money on'). He needs to keep that promise or neither of their moms will ever let them hear the end of it, if they're ever allowed outside again. But he also promised, even if only himself, that he'd look after Naruto from now on.
Damn it. What a drag…
Skrrrrrt...!
Shikamaru and Choji's sandals scrape across the dirt as Naruto takes matters into his own hands and gently pushes them toward their destination. "Choji's only gonna get hungrier if you keep stalling, Shikamaru! Hurry up and get going!" He grins and waves. "Have fun! I'll see ya in a few!"
Shikamaru opens his mouth to protest, but Choji tugs on his sleeve. "He says he'll be fine, Shikamaru. Shouldn't we trust him?"
Shikamaru screws his mouth into a firm frown and hmphs. "I trust him just fine. It's all these other bastards I'm worried about…"
Still, he does his best to take a deep breath and try to relax. Maybe they're right. Maybe he's overreacting and taking this whole thing too seriously. Yeah, he's seen people be unpleasant to Naruto in the past, in this very marketplace to boot, but all they've done today so far is sneer and put rude words on him. Maybe, hopefully, since he and Choji are with him, no one will do anything stupid for once. (And if they do, well…it's their damn funeral.)
Slinging an arm around Choji's shoulders, partly in an effort to ground himself, he waves back at Naruto. "We'll be back in five!"
With that, the three go their separate ways.
Turning on his heel, Naruto zips back around to that mask seller's stall as fast as he can. There are a couple people in line, so he stays back and out of the way until they leave. The second they do, he rushes in to get a closer look.
He lights up. It's still there!
Hanging on a peg on the wall is the most beautiful festival mask he's ever seen, a white fox with red accents and a scar over one eye. He likes the markings on its cheeks the best because they remind him of his own 'whiskers'! It looks just like one of the awesome, terrifying ancient beasts from the old stories Suzume-sensei told their class! He really wishes he could get it, but he promised Shikamaru he wouldn't—!
"Hey, you little brat!" Naruto jolts and turns wide blue eyes on the mask seller. "Get outta here!"
Before he can blink, he's shoved clean off his feet, ending up flat on his back on the ground. The impact actually winds him a little.
Naruto pushes himself up to his elbows, heart pounding and the hair on the back of his neck standing on end as the mask seller glares down at him and other villagers start gathering around, the whispers and stares already starting. Oh, no…! Not again…! Humiliation, shame, and frustration burn his cheeks and sting his eyes, flare up inside him until he bites the inside of his cheek so hard that he tastes blood. He knows what he told Shikamaru, but…! All of it bursts from him like a geyser he can't hope to hold back. "What was that for?!"
"I don't want you here!" the mask seller jeers. "You're nothing but a pest!"
Naruto flinches at that. "But I wasn't even doing anything!"
He knows from painful experience it's better to keep his mouth shut, to just turn tail and get out as quickly as he can, and he's gotten better over the years at keeping his temper in check, especially while surrounded. The last thing he wants is for this to turn into a one-sided brawl (he still has nightmares of the last time that happened). But for some reason, this time…he's just so pissed and embarrassed and hurt and—! The lump forming in his throat aches, and his shoulders slump. He's so tired…! He glares a hole in the ground as his voice lowers. "I mean…I was just looking at the masks you have…"
More and more villagers are gathering around them, glaring at him and hissing, "That kid's just a troublemaker," "Nothing but trouble!", "A bad seed!", and Naruto barely feels the bite when a few of his nails pierce his skin.
His outburst seems to have only pissed the mask seller off even more. He sneers, taking the mask Naruto was eyeing from its hook, and snarls, "Here, is this what you want?!"
He throws it so hard and so fast at an unsuspecting Naruto that he can't hope to catch it or duck out of the way in time. It hits him square in the forehead, making him cry out and reflexively reach up—only for dark red blood to drip onto his hand. He stares at it, horror and a sick kind of resignation setting in. He can feel the blood split into twin rivers down his face.
"Then just take it and get lost, and don't come back!"
Wide, hurt blue eyes flick up to stare at the mask seller, then the other villagers who've gathered on the scene. They're all glaring at him with so much fear and fury and hatred, wishing him pain, thinking he's getting exactly what he deserves…just like always…
All at once, Naruto feels cold all the way down to his bones. He curls in on himself, a white-knuckled fist over his heart. He can feel the itch of more horrible words being etched into his skin (a feeling he's been pointedly ignoring since they left his apartment), more and more as the seconds pass, and it just makes him sink lower.
He really thought things had finally started changing for him…but… His vision blurs as tears rain down, some of them mixing with his blood.
Why...? Why is it always him? What has he ever done to deserve their cruelty? Yes, he's pranked them, but those were meant to be harmless, just to get them to look his way, acknowledge him, never hurt—not like this. And he's even been considering stopping now that he has the Konoha 11, so… Damn it, why? He doesn't understand it! He wishes he did…but...!
His world runs together like a kaleidoscope, he can't breathe – hell, he goes practically catatonic in the face of it all.
He doesn't understand anything. He doesn't know why he ever thought things could really change for him. Yeah, he has friends now, and he wouldn't trade them for anything, not for the world, but…for how long? What if they decide he's too much trouble? What if they get sick of him, too? What if…what if they…turn out just like them…?
"Naruto!"
At that moment, Shikamaru and Choji rush in, shoving through the crowd with abandon to get to their friend. What they see makes their stomachs drop.
Shikamaru clenches his fists and teeth so hard, they both groan. Guilt and rage flay his insides. "What the hell is going on here?!" he demands, voice as dark and dangerous as the shadows he wields.
Choji kneels down at Naruto's side and gasps, eyes blowing open wide. "Shikamaru, he's bleeding!"
Shikamaru already felt sick, but now his heart's joined the mix with an ill beat of its own. Damn it! He should have trusted his instincts! He never should have left! His fingers itch to form his clan's more deadly signature jutsu. He barely holds himself back.
Eyes like hot coals turn on the villagers. "Get away from him! Don't look at him! Don't you bastards dare think another damn word about him! You hear me?!" His voice is murderous, the shadows underneath and all around him slither and lash out and writhe, like his kunai-sharp eyes and hell-bent tone promise they will—and for all that he's a child, they don't dare disobey. "Get the fuck out of here before I do something I guarantee you'll regret! Leave now!"
The villagers wisely clear out in a matter of seconds, the mask seller the first to disappear. Shikamaru, still shaking with rage, makes sure every last one of them is gone before he crashes to his knees on Naruto's other side.
Seeing him up close…he wishes he could've made at least that bastard mask seller suffer.
Choji is doing his best to use some of the tissues he always has on him to stop the bleeding and mop up the blood trails half-diluted by Naruto's tears, and it seems like it's working well enough. But there are tears in Choji's eyes, and his hands are trembling. Reaching out, Shikamaru rests a warm hand on Choji's, stilling his movements, and offers him a small, proud smile. "Good job, Choji."
Choji sniffs and wipes his eyes on his sleeves. "T-thanks. You, too. But Shikamaru, what…? I-I don't understand…" He picks up the fox mask that rolled to a stop by Naruto's hand, Naruto's blood staining one of its ears. "Over this…?"
Gently taking the mostly-fresh tissue from Choji's hand to let him rest, Shikamaru takes a few deep, calming breaths to steady himself. He's still so pissed, he can barely stand it, but that's the last thing his friends, Naruto especially, need right now. They need him with his head on straight, not ready and willing to commit (completely justifiable) murder.
When he finally gathers his thoughts enough to speak, he takes over cleaning Naruto up, hands ever-gentle as he makes sure to keep his voice even and low. "To be honest, Choji, I don't get it either. Trust me, I wish I did. I bet Naruto wishes that more than any of us."
His secret little investigation into why everyone treats Naruto this way has barely turned up anything, and what little it has hardly makes any sense. If he didn't know any better, he'd think someone was trying to hide something—something big. But he doesn't have any idea what or who or why. The answer feels so close, so obvious, but he just can't find the one string he needs to pull to make the whole thing unravel. He feels like a deer chasing its own tail…
Closing his eyes a moment, he takes a slow, deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth (a calming exercise his father taught him), then one more for good measure. If there's one miracle that came out of all this, it's that, somehow or other, Naruto's wound has already closed. Thank goodness.
He looks back at Choji. "But it doesn't matter whether or not we understand. What matters now is that we're here for Naruto, and we'll help him any way we can. Right?"
Choji, eyes now dry, sniffs and nods, smiling for the first time since they came running to Naruto's defense. Shikamaru's always been good at that, calming him down and helping him see what's most important. "Right!"
With a proud wink, Shikamaru turns back to Naruto.
That said, he's not actually sure what to do here, how best to help him. He's helped Hinata through a few panic attacks over the years, sure, but she never went totally catatonic like this. It's like Naruto's lost in his own head, and Shikamaru doesn't want to do the wrong thing and take the chance of making things worse. But…he can't just leave him like this either. He has to do something…
So, slowly, carefully, telegraphing his movements as best he can, he reaches out to rest a feather-light hand on Naruto's shoulder and say softly, but firmly, "Hey, Naruto. Are you with me?"
Following Shikamaru's example, Choji lays a tentative, warm hand on Naruto's knee. "We're right here, Naruto. You're not alone."
…!
Their kind words and tender touches send feeling rushing back into Naruto, bring the light back to his eyes, and make his tears fall faster—but for a very different reason this time.
It's true that most things for him have stayed the same – same crappy apartment, same villagers with their sneers and yelling and violence, same schoolyard bullies, same empty belly and dark that scares him and lonely nights that never end.
But this... Having someone look out for him, having someone care, is so new and different, such a terrifyingly stark contrast to everything he's ever known, and maybe…that's why he's so desperately afraid to lose it.
Still…he feels like he should know better.
Even if he's only really been friends with the Konoha 11 for a little while…he's known them for nearly their whole lives, and if there's one thing he knows about them for sure, it's that once they have you, you're theirs. They're loyal to a fault, and they're not the kind to give up on someone just because they're troublesome. Hell, they wear it like a badge of honor, like getting into a fight for each other is some kind of rite of passage.
So, he should have known they wouldn't leave because of this… Not that he thinks they'd blame him for worrying about that, in general, given his track record. Really, he doesn't think he was doubting them so much as himself, his own worth, his new place in their lives.
But if ever he needed a reminder…
The permeating warmth of Choji's hand on his knee, the grounding weight of Shikamaru's on his shoulder… The lump in Naruto's throat only grows, heat behind his eyes increases. It's all so new, yet so welcome and doesn't hurt and feels so good, he can't explain it… He wishes he could tell them, put it into words, but he doesn't know if that's even possible.
He would have killed for this all these years. Having someone, even just one person, by his side would have made everything so much better, so much more bearable. But he's learned not to reflect on the past without learning a thing or two, and he's learned plenty. He may not have had it before, but he has it now, and there's no way in hell he's letting it go. Not for anything.
Tearful, aware blue eyes lock with warm brown, and Shikamaru's shoulders slump with relief. He reaches forward to brush sweaty bangs from Naruto's forehead, the gentlest touch Naruto swears he's ever felt. "There you are, sunshine," Shikamaru greets softly, the nickname slipping off his tongue as easily as breathing. He's not sure where it came from, but with the way Naruto seems to light up from the inside out just hearing it, Shikamaru can't help but feel it's spot on. A surge of fierce affection flares up in his chest. He loves this kid so much. "We're glad you're back. You had us worried."
Shikamaru and Choji help Naruto back to his apartment and insist on patching him up as best they can. Naruto tells them where he keeps the first aid kit when asked (barely used, Shikamaru can't help but notice, despite the myriad of bruises and cuts he knows Naruto sustains on an almost daily basis), but also tells them they don't have to, that his forehead and hands are (again, somehow, miraculously) already healed.
But Shikamaru is nothing if not stubborn. When he digs his heels in about something, he won't budge for anyone, and that goes double for something like this. "Humor me."
Naruto still doesn't really get it, but figures it's just Shikamaru's Mother Hen tendencies coming out. (Ino may be the queen in that regard most of the time, but Shikamaru beats even her by a mile when it's important, and Naruto... Well, let's just say that the Important on his forearm hasn't faded a single bit since that day at lunch.) So, Naruto agreeably holds out his hands and tilts his head toward the light so they can see better, and for the triumphant, adoring grin that breaks out on Shikamaru's face, Naruto thinks it's a small price to pay.
Supplies in hand, they get to work.
With Naruto's curious attention on the meticulous way they bandage his hands, Shikamaru and Choji lock eyes over his head.
Covering Naruto's small body are some of the worst words they've ever seen on anyone—demon, trash, murderer, good-for-nothing, monster, nuisance, germ, piece of shit, waste of space, blood on your hands, disappear, do us all a favor and die. The Pest that spans his forehead stirs something sharp and ugly in Shikamaru's chest. That mask seller bastard…!
Meanwhile, Naruto is doing his best to commit their bandaging methods to memory. There are some differences between how they do it and the first aid training they got at the Academy. He wonders if their parents taught them this other stuff or if they figured it out on their own. He'll have to ask them sometime. Not that he thinks he'll need it, given how quickly he heals, but his teammates in the future might, and that's—!
WHOOSH!
A tingling sensation as strong as a tidal wave suddenly crashes over Naruto, who reflexively goes stock-still with dread. The villagers already put all the words on him they could, so who—?
Wait…! This feels different! He—he knows this feeling! He's only felt it once, but—this is—!
Wide eyes snap to Shikamaru and Choji.
Choji is finishing tying off the bandage on his left hand, tongue poking out as he does his best to get it just right, not too loose and not too tight. Shikamaru, on the other hand, is long done, but hasn't let go of his hand, holding it tightly in both of his, and he's staring at Naruto hard, at what's most likely a horrible word on his skin, probably a lot of them, like they've offended him personally. And knowing him, they absolutely have.
Naruto can't help but stare, breathless with heart pounding away in his chest. He's so used to the bad words, to how they make him feel, to the sleeping-limb tingling when they manifest. After almost eleven years, it's normal for him, just part of his everyday. They still hurt because of course they do, more than any bruise or gash or poisoning ever could, especially after days like today. Hell, if Choji and Shikamaru weren't here right now, he'd probably be curled up under his covers and crying himself to sleep.
This feeling, though… He doesn't think he'll ever forget it. Doesn't see how he could. That day in the Academy yard a month ago, all those good words springing to life on his skin... That same intense, touched-chill-down-your-spine tingling is washing over him now like calm waves upon the shore, and it only doubles in strength when Choji ties off his bandage and clasps Naruto's other hand in both of his, a small, soft little smile playing.
God…he's so lucky to have them. He loves them so much. He can barely comprehend how much, he feels so full.
So, he doesn't think he can be blamed at all when his tears finally spill over and he throws his arms around them to hold them as close as he can, as tightly as he dares. They hug him right back, Choji burying his face in his shoulder and Shikamaru cradling the back of his head.
These friends of his…they're precious to him. And slowly, slowly, but surely, he's learning that somehow, despite everything and against all the odds…he's precious to them, too.
(Once they're gone, Naruto looks in the mirror to find an aggressively-thought Loved has replaced the blood-soaked Pest there before.)
When Shikamaru finally makes it home after making absolutely sure Naruto will be okay, he's still pissed. His jaw hurts from how tightly he's been clenching it.
Shikaku is more than a little concerned when he sees him, even more so at finding blood under his nails that he was too enraged and distraught to even notice. But Shikamaru just grits out, practically spits, like it's the most offending thing he's ever had to say, "It's not mine, it's Naruto's."
Shikaku goes still, his blood turning to ice. "What happened, Shikamaru?"
Shikamaru opens his mouth—only for tears to flood his eyes, his chin to wobble, and his breath to catch in his throat. The next thing he knows, he's breaking down in his father's arms, spilling everything.
"Why? Why are they like this? How can they not see how good he is?" he asks once he's done, clutching at his father's shirt like a lifeline. He hiccups, turning big, brown eyes on his father. He can tell he's pissed, but there's a tired, calculating quality to his rage that Shikamaru would bet a full day's cloud-watching means he knows more than he's letting on. "You know, don't you? Tell me, please. Please, Dad, I...I need to understand..." He swallows, a vengeful shiver running down his spine. "Because next time, I don't think I'll be able to hold back..."
And damn it all, Shikaku knows his son. He's not an emotional boy. So for him to break down like this, so openly...he knows this is serious. That he is. He needs to fix this or someone really will get hurt. Because if Naruto can't stand up for himself, Shikaku knows Shikamaru will do it for him.
He carries Shikamaru out to sit on the back porch, where Shikamaru can soak up the sun and look up at the clouds he loves so much, where the deer that have always liked him best can be a comfort. He holds Shikamaru close on his lap, and Shikamaru welcomes it, feeling cold and exhausted to his bones. He closes his eyes as he listens to the familiar, soothing beat of his father's heart.
Shikaku takes a few slow, deep breaths, in through his nose and out through his mouth. Technically, breathing a word of this is treason, but that damn decree is wrong, always has been, and as long as no one finds out, it should be fine. Hell, he'd bet a lot of booze that all those villagers and their kids who treat Naruto like shit haven't kept it quiet, so why should he? (He just prays Minato and Kushina will forgive him for taking so long. He misses them both so much, every day…)
Besides, decree or no, consequences be damned, there's not a single doubt in Shikaku's mind that Shikamaru would figure it out eventually, either on his own or via more nefarious means—and in his opinion, sending a prepared little Jinchuuriki into battle is far preferable to an impressionable wild card. (God knows how Lord Third doesn't see that.)
"What I'm about to tell you is a Village secret." Shikamaru reels back, eyes wide. Top secret intel?! No wonder his investigation went cold! But how the hell could Naruto possibly be involved in something like that, especially when Shikamaru knows he's just as genuinely clueless about the villagers' hatred as the rest of them? "So this stays between you kids, your Konoha 11 alone. Understood?"
Shikamaru nods immediately. He knows the others will just play dumb if asked, and Naruto...well, that goes without saying. He's loud, sure, but he's far from stupid. He's a lot smarter than anyone outside their friends (and apparently his father) gives him credit for. "I promise."
With a solemn nod – a promise between men – Shikaku tells him absolutely everything he can.
Shikamaru is shocked, of course, which Shikaku fully expected. Anyone would be, hearing something like this. But he recovers even quicker than Shikaku thought he would.
The light in his eyes has changed, there's a stubborn set to his jaw, and Shikaku can practically hear the gears in his clever little mind sparking as they whir a mile a minute. Shikaku understands all too well. He can't help but smirk something fierce, more than content to resign himself to whatever hell is about to quietly break loose, finding it poetic justice on all the bastards in this village.
Finally, something might be done. God knows all his pleas have fallen on the Hokage's deaf ears.
Shikamaru jumps right into planning, and the very next day, he sets it in motion.
The setup is almost identical to their meeting exactly a month and a day ago.
The ten of them meet up in their clubhouse, and no one except Shikamaru knows why they're here, but just like last time, no one questions it. Particularly because the Shikamaru standing before them is a raging storm on the horizon, quiet for now, but as imminent and dangerous as they've ever seen him.
And once he relays yesterday morning's events with some extra input from Choji, they understand why. The absolute wrath that fills the small room is so thick and oppressive that Shikamaru's genuinely surprised some of the more emotionally-attuned Nara don't come to check on them.
"I'm sure it's obvious why I didn't want Naruto here for this part," he says, white-knuckled fists shoved firmly in his pockets. "I didn't want him to have to relive all that. Going through it once, even just witnessing it, was bad enough."
"But he—he's okay, right?" Hinata asks, small brow pinched with worry. "Besides his injuries, I mean. Was he…?" She winces, bites her lip. "I-I know he's said he's used to it, but…"
"But that's a load of bull!" Kiba pipes up from beside her, resting a warm, reassuring hand on her anxiously-fidgeting fingers. She latches on gladly. "Being used to crap like that…" He clenches his teeth so hard, they groan. "Even if it's normal for him, that doesn't make it right!"
Akamaru barks and the others offer equally pissed sentiments, and Shikamaru sighs tiredly. He was up planning a lot of the night (and getting his revenge on that bastard mask seller), so he didn't get much sleep. "I know, I know. Trust me, I already warned my Dad that if something like this happens again," the shadows underneath him slither, "I won't be held responsible for what happens."
His friends shudder. Shikamaru is the king of restraint among them, but when he lets loose? He's like something straight out of a nightmare.
"But to answer your question, princess," Shikamaru takes a moment to rein in his residual rage, then offers Hinata a kind smile, "Choji and I made sure Naruto was feeling as close to all right as possible before we left. We even covered him in a whole bunch of good words to chase away the bad ones."
Hinata brightens, free hand moving to her chest as she sighs. The others are just as relieved. "Thank goodness. Thank you so much!"
Shikamaru nods. That settled, he moves on to the next phase of his plan, drawing all the curtains and lighting the giant lantern in the middle of the room. Sharp eyes fall on Kiba and Akamaru. "Is anyone else around?"
The two trade a glance, but Shikamaru's obviously on a mission, so they do as he asks. After concentrating for several seconds, they shake their heads. "Nope, nothing. We're all alone."
Satisfied, Shikamaru thanks them and retakes his place at the front of the room. It's almost funny. He usually hates being the center of attention, will do just about anything to avoid it, and yet, for Naruto, he finds himself diving in all too willingly. He really is lost on that kid…
Taking a deep, steadying breath, he thanks everything he has the friends he does. This isn't a bombshell you can drop on just anyone, after all.
"What I'm about to tell you doesn't leave this room. If it does, my Dad could be charged with treason and put to death." Not that he thinks it would ever get that far – after all, his Dad is the freaking Jounin Commander, and all the other kids and adults seem to know this secret and are (unfortunately) still alive and kicking – but still. They need to know how serious this really is.
Thankfully, his friends are the best, so while they've gone pale, their eyes are bright and trained firmly on him. They don't dare say a word, waiting on bated breath for him to say whatever he needs to say. He appreciates that. This isn't something he wants to drag out.
"I'll tell you everything my Dad told me."
By the time he's done, every single one of them is shocked and overcome with emotion—Lee, Sakura, and Choji are outright crying—and Shikamaru can't blame them one bit.
The clubhouse is almost dead silent apart from sniffles and stifled sobs for nearly half an hour after that, all of them coming to terms with what they've just learned.
They're absolutely reeling. This is so much bigger than anything they could have anticipated. It seems crazy that they didn't already know, not sure how the other kids and adults kept it quiet all these years when they're so open about their hatred for Naruto, but they chalk it up to the bastards being scared they'd rat them out and their own parents obeying the decree.
Still…this explains so much. So many things that never made sense about Naruto are finally clicking into place in their minds. God, they feel horrible… Poor Naruto… They wish there was something they could do…
Shikamaru, who's opted to comfort those he can, understands completely. He felt the exact same way last night. His friends are special, though, and they've gotten to know Naruto pretty well over the last month, so he's more than confident they'll take this all in stride.
In the end, Tenten is the first to take a slow, deep, cleansing breath and speak up.
"All right, so Naruto's the Nine Tails Jinchuuriki." She lets that new knowledge hang in the air between them, as if daring the very cosmos to speak ill of him. "So what? That doesn't justify how the villagers treat him at all!"
"Yeah!"
"Thank you!"
"You got that right!"
Bark, bark!
Sakura ghosts thoughtful fingers across her forehead, tracing the Beautiful that's never left. "It's not like he got to decide. He was practically born with the Nine Tails inside him."
"Yeah!"
"Exactly!"
"That's right!"
"He's not the 'Nine Tails'!" Ino mocks the villagers, making a face. She holds up a finger, smug as can be. "He's Naruto Uzumaki! Don't forget it!"
Raucous laughter permeates the others' equally-enthused "Yeah!". "You sound just like him, Ino!" Choji praises with a snort.
While they talk Naruto up, Shikamaru allows himself a heavy sigh of relief. He was confident as hell, sure, but he always accounts for every possibility, and that includes the least favorable ones. As he predicted, though, his friends are the best, so from here, things should go relatively smoothly. Thank goodness.
Still, he already feels the dull throb of a headache building behind his eyes, so he holds up his hands before his friends can boil over and send him right over the edge. They simmer down as much as possible, but it's like a pot left bubbling on the stove. He needs to give them something to sink their teeth into.
Luckily, someone else beats him to it.
"The villagers' treatment of Naruto is so wrong! What ignorant cowards…!" Lee clenches tight fists until they groan, and eyes burning with righteous fury cut to Shikamaru. "Especially when he does not even know!"
That last line hits the rest of them like a brick, and all eyes instantly converge on Shikamaru. Now they understand.
"We're going to tell him together, aren't we?" Neji guesses.
Shikamaru meets his eyes, all of their eyes, head-on. "Hell, yeah, we are. Decree be damned, he deserves to know."
"Yeah! Fuck that decree!" Kiba cheers, Akamaru howling his agreement, before the others quickly shush them. This meeting's supposed to be secret, after all. "Oh, right. Sorry." Akamaru groans, indignant.
Hinata giggles behind the hand Kiba isn't holding, petting Akamaru to console him and sending Kiba a fierce smirk. He thanks God she can't hear the way his heart goes crazy in his chest. "You're not wrong!"
"Hinata's right," Shikamaru offers with an easy shrug, smirking with the best of them. "The way I see it, it's only fair."
The others agree with his plan wholeheartedly, and he's glad.
Now that all that's out of the way, he glances toward the door. Naruto should be here any minute now. (He's notorious for being on time—hell, he's right up there with Lee in being enthusiastically early.)
He knows how Naruto feels about his apartment, even if he hasn't said it in so many words. He doesn't call it 'home', his smile falls and the light in his eyes dims when it's time to go back, and he hunches in on himself in the dark, lonely doorway. In direct contrast, Shikamaru's never seen him so happy or off his guard in all his life than the day they brought him to this clubhouse and all the days after.
That's why he thought it'd be best to tell him here. He wants to tell him in a place he feels comfortable and safe, with people he feels comfortable and safe with.
In the end, all he wants out of this is for Naruto to know that it's not his fault, that there's nothing wrong with him, that he's not alone anymore. Never will be again if Shikamaru has anything to say about it.
Knock, knock!
Speak of the devil…
Shikamaru immediately moves for the door, winking at his friends and modeling deep breaths. The last thing he needs is Naruto getting worked up from their nervous energy.
Opening the door, Shikamaru can't help but smile softly despite the responsibility weighing heavily on his shoulders. Naruto just tends to have that effect on him. "Hey, Naruto. Glad you could make it." He steps aside. "Come on in."
For a moment, just on instinct, Naruto hesitates. He heard Kiba and the others shouting a few times on the way over, Akamaru barking and howling, too, and the others, the few of them he can see from here, seem nervous. He can tell they're trying to act normal, but something's definitely going on. He hopes he wasn't just called here to be thrown out of the group—
He shakes his head stubbornly. No. Shikamaru wouldn't do that. The others wouldn't either. No one looks at him as gently as Shikamaru is now if they're going to hurt him. He takes a breath. As far as he's concerned, that's all the reassurance he needs.
Finally stepping inside, he looks around, one eyebrow raised. "Why's it so closed up in here? You guys tryin' to keep out the cold or somethin'?"
Shikamaru breathes a laugh. "Something like that." After all, one could categorize the villagers' cruelty and the Hokage's major indifference as cold.
Knowing how Naruto feels about the dark, Shikamaru steers him toward the comfiest chair closest to the lantern, planting himself on the armrest for now. He doesn't miss the fact that the bandages on Naruto's hands are gone, the gauze pad on his forehead, too, the skin underneath as unblemished and clean as if yesterday never happened. Given what he knows now, Shikamaru pins his amazing healing factor on the Nine Tails. One of the only good things to come out of this messed up situation, in his opinion.
"So, I hope it's okay, but Choji and I told the others what happened at the market yesterday."
Naruto winces. He figured they'd tell them, though. The Konoha 11 don't keep secrets from each other, especially something like this, and it makes sense why they would need to know. After all, as much as Naruto wishes it wouldn't, it'll almost certainly happen again, and he'd want them to be prepared so they can protect themselves. "Y-yeah, it's fine. I'm…I'm glad everybody knows."
Still, that doesn't stop him from fidgeting with his fingers and biting his lip, gaze slipping to the floor. The others seem fine with it, aren't treating him any differently…but…
Shikamaru rests a hand on his shoulder and squeezes, and Naruto looks up to find a kind, warm smile. It helps him relax, just a little. "Don't worry, Naruto. They were pissed off at the villagers and worried about you, but that's all. We're not going anywhere. The Konoha 11 are friends for life, no matter what." Smirking a bit, he bumps their shoulders together. "Don't forget it."
Naruto lets out a tiny, delighted snort of surprise at the playful homage to how he ends his pranks on the villagers, and Shikamaru can't help but soften. He knows that for someone like Naruto, believing that is easier said than done. No one's ever wanted him before, but they've wanted to keep him even less. It's gonna take a lot more than words to show him they mean it, and it'll undoubtedly take more than just this one time for it to really stick.
But the Konoha 11, Shikamaru in particular, didn't invite him into their fold expecting an easy ride, and they're in this for the long haul. They'll just have to be patient and keep at it until it finally sinks in. That's fine. Hell, if Shikamaru has his way, he'll never leave Naruto's side for the rest of his life.
Just like Shikamaru knew he would, Naruto looks around at the rest of their friends for confirmation, tentative and wondering, and their smiles and quiet reassurances slowly uncoil the spring-taut tension in his shoulders. Shikamaru breathes a silent sigh of relief. Thank goodness.
"Good. Now that that's settled…" Naruto turns back at the more serious tone to his voice, "…there's something really important we need to talk about."
Naruto swallows, mouth suddenly dry. "Y-yeah, I figured." He waves toward the rest of the clubhouse. "This doesn't exactly scream 'party.'"
Shikamaru breathes a laugh despite himself. "I guess you're right. Sorry about that. But this is sensitive stuff, so I needed to make sure no one else would be the wiser."
Naruto's ears perk. 'Sensitive'? That could either mean really good or really bad. Like a switch has been flipped, he goes quiet and watches Shikamaru like a hawk, and Shikamaru knows it's time.
He takes a slow, deep breath, a few, in through his nose and out through his mouth, doing his best to steel himself. He's gone over all the different ways he can do this a thousand times, and he thinks he's found the one that makes the most sense. This is for Naruto (his dream, whether either of them knows it or not). He wants to make this as easy for him as he possibly can.
Starting from the beginning seems like his best bet.
"For the last month and a half, I've been trying to figure out why the villagers treat you the way they do." Naruto cringes, but doesn't seem all that surprised (this is Shikamaru, after all), just hesitantly curious, and Shikamaru almost smirks. Naruto knows him too well. "But I kept running into dead ends. Nothing added up."
Naruto nods, a few times, confusion creasing his brow. Yeah, that makes sense. It was the same with him, too. Everyone, even the Old Man, always clammed up (or worse) whenever he asked about it when he was little. The very last time he tried was on his sixth birthday, and the Old Man just changed the subject like always. (At least he didn't glare or hit him like the other adults, but still. It wasn't much better, in Naruto's opinion.) He hasn't bothered asking since.
"Then, after what happened yesterday, I begged my Dad to tell me the truth." Shikamaru meets Naruto's eyes head on, sure and steady as the hand he rests on Naruto's. "He agreed, but warned me that this is a Village secret."
Naruto stiffens and goes pale. 'Village secret'?! That means that talking about it at all is considered treason! What kind of secret about him could possibly be that important?! It doesn't make any sense…!
He shakes his head roughly. No, there are more important things to worry about right now! "B-but your Dad, is he—? He'll be okay, right?"
Shikamaru offers a helpless smile. This kid… "He'll be fine, don't worry. He only told me on the condition that this stays between all of us, and none of us are gonna tell on 'im." He shrugs. "Besides, everybody else knows. If they were to charge everybody who ever talked about this with treason, there'd be no village left." He smirks with fierce pride. "Plus, he's the Jounin Commander. I'd like to see anyone else try to do my Dad's job without losing their minds. They wouldn't last a day."
Naruto relaxes a bit, breathing a laugh at Shikamaru's efforts to keep the mood as light as possible. He appreciates it. Still, no amount of jokes can chase away the feeling of dread that has his hair standing on end, and he knows Shikamaru knows it, too, because he squeezes his hand.
"Anyway…I wanted to tell you the truth in a place you felt safe, with people you felt safe with."
Naruto's eyes widen, and a painful lump starts to form in his throat. No one's ever…considered something like that for him before… He definitely doesn't think he'd want to do this in his apartment. Sure, it's…it's where he rests his head at night and where he hides from bullies, but…it's also dark and empty and lonely, suffocating even on his best days. This clubhouse, on the other hand, for all that he's known it a month, has always been a safe place for him, something he knows better than to take for granted, full of friends and teeming with laughter and warmth and smiles…
He squeezes his eyes shut. Of course Shikamaru would think of something like that. Of course… He really is the best.
Swiping his wrist over his eyes, he takes a few deep, steadying breaths. Whatever Shikamaru has to tell him, he needs to be calm and level-headed for it. He's sure the others know already – Shikamaru's too smart to drop this bomb on him and the rest of their friends in one go – and they're still here, so…hopefully that means it can't be that bad…
(Right?)
Swallowing, he curls nervous, sweaty hands into fists and meets Shikamaru's gaze with a nod. He's as ready as he'll ever be.
Shikamaru's gut twists, but he nods right back. If Naruto's ready, so is he. It's now or never.
"Naruto…you have the Nine-Tailed Fox sealed inside you."
With that one phrase, Naruto's entire world grinds to a screeching halt.
Naruto has known shock, pain, and devastation all his life. He knows the many faces they can take. Hell, they were practically all he knew before the Konoha 11 took him in. But he's never known them like this, all at once and all-encompassing, instantly freezing his blood and burning his eyes, crushing his lungs, and turning his heart to stone in his chest.
The Nine Tails…? Really? Of all the… He never would have… The demon fox that attacked the village almost eleven years ago? How…? Why…? Why him…?
Shikamaru explains everything as best he can, even about his parents(!) (which he didn't fully tell the others because it wasn't theirs to know, but now they do, so semantics), and even though Naruto's reeling like hell, he appreciates it like nothing else. He'll make sure to tell him so later.
The more he hears and the more he really thinks about it…it does kinda make sense, doesn't it? It's just a matter of putting all the pieces together, the same way Shikamaru taught him to place the tiles in shogi.
Every year on his birthday, October 10th, which he now knows is the anniversary of the Nine Tails' attack…the villagers are even worse than usual. Their slaps and hits and kicks are fiercer, their glares are harsher, the insults and threats are darker, the kids are crueler, and the words on his skin… He feels sick just thinking about them. Suffice to say, he's learned to stay in his apartment the day of and for a few days before and after, just to be safe.
And that's not even mentioning literally everything he faces from the village on a daily basis, has for as long as he can remember.
There are his enhanced senses. All these years, he thought maybe they were just something he inherited from one or both of his parents, like the Inuzuka's dog-like characteristics and instincts. (In a way, he supposes he did kind of inherit the Nine Tails from his mom, but that's beside the point.)
His healing factor is like nothing he's ever seen. According to everything he knows and has learned about medicine over the years, on his own and from the Academy and his friends, his accelerated healing shouldn't be possible.
He's never been able to control his chakra—at all, period, point blank. No matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries, he just can't get it right. It's always too much, too oppressive and wild, and it's never truly felt…his… (And he's always wondered why his always flickers between red and blue when everyone else's stays blue…)
Worst of all, at least to him, are the horrible words that perpetually dot his skin like splatters of the paint he uses for his pranks. They've always been so cruel, and he's never understood why.
He looks down at himself. Most of the good words Choji and Shikamaru put on him yesterday are still there, but the villagers were able to replace some of them on his way over.
Demon, monster, murderer, blood on your hands, why don't you just die?, and so many others stain his skin – and knowing what he does now, he likens them more to droplets of blood.
And last, but definitely not least, the one that cinches it for him… He curls a trembling, white-knuckled fist in his shirt. There's that big, weird symbol that appears on his stomach sometimes. It's like nothing Naruto's ever seen before, so intricate and complicated-looking, like two, maybe three, symbols spliced together. Not a single book or scroll he's ever read trying to find out about it in any of the Leaf's libraries has been able to tell him a damn thing.
His entire life has been like that, so full of questions without answers and more unknowns than he knows what to do with.
But now…he thinks he finally understands, and the clarity…
It's excruciating.
His hand underneath Shikamaru's is shaking—all of him is, actually, come to think of it; he feels strange, like he's separate from himself, observing his own body from someplace outside it—and a few tears and a tiny, strangled sob escape.
He's not the Nine Tails. He's not. He's a person with feelings and hopes and dreams, who bleeds and cries, just like the rest of them. He's Naruto Uzumaki, damn it…!
But… He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes until it hurts, drags a stilted breath through tightly clenched teeth. The villagers don't see it that way, don't see him that way. Fuck, they don't see him at all. All they see when they look at him is the demon fox that attacked their village, that killed their parents and siblings and friends, that robbed them of whatever innocence they may have had in a single night of fire and blood and death.
Through a haze of hatred that strong…how could they possibly see the scared, sad, lonely little boy underneath?
He sniffs messily, sobs he's determined to keep inside wracking his small frame.
So…that's it. He was considered cursed right from the start. It explains everything.
That's why the other kids say he 'tainted' his swing in the Academy yard.
That's why all these awful words have followed him his whole life, even before he could read.
That's why the villagers have always hated him just for existing.
That's why no one's ever wanted him.
That's why he's always been alone…—!
Suddenly, a gut-wrenching thought strikes, and he has to slap a hand over his mouth to keep from sobbing outright. He knows Shikamaru welcomed him 'home' a month ago, knows what he meant when he and Choji put all those good words on him yesterday, knows he reassured him about the Konoha 11 being friends for life just before this.
But—but what if he and the others are just telling him all this, the truth, as a kindness, and then…and then they—? He feels cold down to his bones, shivers with it as his eyes well and overflow. What if—what if they leave him?
He can feel himself starting to hyperventilate, more tears searing down his cheeks, but he can't help it.
What if, after finally forming the bonds he's yearned for and been denied all his life, he just ends up right back where he started?
What if, even after all this…he's alone again?
His vision shifts into a prism of semi-color and lantern light. Naruto thinks he might be on the verge of passing out. It's been years since he's passed out. The last time he did was when the villagers took a beating too far when he was eight. Is this what Hinata's panic attacks feel like? God, he feels so bad for her—!
There's a shock of warmth on his back, and even though his first instinct is to flinch like he's been struck, something inside gives him pause.
He snaps up to find Shikamaru, blue eyes wild with fear and a bone-deep loss he can't explain, but knows intimately, like a missing limb, like something inevitable (because it's all he's ever known).
For a precious moment, Naruto's entire world sharpens to a single point.
Please don't leave me.
Shikamaru, feeling more emotionally wrecked than he ever has in his entire life, cards the gentlest of fingers through soft sunshine hair like it's the most precious thing he's ever touched—like he, Naruto, is. "As long as you'll have me," he whispers, fierce and tender, an iron-clad promise in every note, "I'm here."
And just like that, Naruto's mosaic heart breaks wide open.
With a lurching sob, he throws his arms around Shikamaru's middle and buries his face in his stomach. Shikamaru can't snap him up fast enough, wrapping his arms around him as far as they'll go, curling him protectively to his chest. He has to squeeze his eyes shut against his own welling tears. Damn this village. He meant what he said. He's not leaving Naruto for anything. This doesn't change a damn thing.
The rest of the tearful Konoha 11 pile in hot on his heels and press as close as they can, praying their message gets through.
We're here, Naruto. We're not going anywhere.
It's so warm…
It just makes Naruto cry harder.
A/N: Series Notice: On AO3 (my user is Shizuku749 there!), I have turned this into a Series! Meaning, I have a few little fun ideas for this universe that I won't be able to fit organically in these last chapters (hint: Shikamaru's revenge on the mask seller), so I figured I'd add them in as bonus oneshots once this main fic is complete! No idea when I'll get to them, for the record (once this bad boy is finally done, I plan on taking a long, well-deserved rest!), but feel free to subscribe to the Series on AO3 or to me here (not really sure how to handle this here, I might have to either tack them on to the end after the next chapter or put them as their own oneshots and 'connect' them to this via the summary, lol. We'll see!), if you feel so inclined! I'd love to know what you guys think! :D
Fun fact: This chapter ended exactly on page 100 of this fic's doc! lol.
The mask seller yelling at, shoving, and throwing the festival mask at Naruto are actually from a great scene in Shippuden filler episode 177, "Iruka's Ordeal"! I embellished on it a bit, ofc, adding in the blood, Naruto going catatonic, and Shikamaru and Choji stepping in (and the words appearing on him, obvs)! It and eps 176 and 178 are a 3-episode Academy Era filler arc that, no joke, are actually some of my absolute fave eps in the entire series! :D
I hope the reveal and Naruto's realization and reaction were organic enough! I love the way canon did it in the first eps, obvs, it's super feelsy, but I've always felt there wasn't enough reflection or putting pieces together afterward (it probs did happen, technically, just off-screen (or, more likely, that's something else Kishimoto hand-waved, lol)), so I decided I wanted to give Naruto ample time to process in my version! He'll still need a lot of time and have a lot of work to do to come to terms with it properly, haha, but we'll see how that goes in the final chapter!
Readers of my main Naruto AU, 'Surface Breaker', may notice and/or enjoy knowing that Shikamaru's ending little 'as long as you'll have me' reassurance is something of a reference to two moments from said fic, one from ch 14 and the other from ch 15, where Shikamaru is not shy about letting Naruto know how serious he is about standing by him, no matter what: Shikamaru takes [his hand] without hesitation. "You never have to ask. ...These hands are yours as long as you'll have them." (ch 14) AND "I meant what I said: I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here as long as you'll have me." (ch 15)
Thanks so much for reading!